


You Keep Me Without Chains

by HobbitFeels



Series: Wait... [2]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Ableist Language, Anal Sex, And More Angst, And angst, Angst, BAMF!Bofur, Bifur is skilled at needlework, BoTFA Everyone Lived, But he is, Comeplay, Conflicted Thorin, Correspondence, Desperate!Thorin, Dis don't play that, Double Penetration, Dream Sex, Dreams, Dub-con-ish because Bilbo doesn't know he is awake, Durincest, Durincest is growing less casual as this story goes on, Except Bilbo is awake, Feels, Felching, Fingering, Fluff, Gandalf's whizpoppers, Jealous Fíli, Kinky Kili, Love Triangle, M/M, Magic Sedation, Magical Realism, Mentions of Suicide, Mutual Pining, Nori is good with kids, Ori has a giant sweet tooth, Ori is just good, Pining, Poor Life Choices, Pre DoS, Prophetic Visions, Smut, Sneaky Valar, Suicide Attempt, Switch Bilbo, Switch Bofur, Switch Fíli, Switch Kíli, Threesome - M/M/M, Top Bilbo, Unexpected Journey movieverse mixed with bookverse, Universe Alteration, Voyeurism, a porny porny fairy tale, and a thing for hobbits, and fingering ass, at least a little bit, bagginfeels, bofur is pissed, eating ass, emotional smut, gossiping hobbits, horny hobbits, it is a bit of a fairy tale, kinky dwarves, light blood, light injury, made up dwarven customs, minor wound, mourning braids, nori on the pull, possessive!Bilbo, so much eating ass, tough love for dis, unfulfilled Boffins, unrealistic refractory periods, wedding cake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-10
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-01-04 06:14:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 62
Words: 282,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1077576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HobbitFeels/pseuds/HobbitFeels
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fili and Bofur have gone back to the Shire with Bilbo and Kili.  Now that the hardest journey is over, Bilbo and Kili are ready to start their life together.  That may be easier said than done.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Home

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  Banner by sradanvers.tumblr.com
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Part 1 is a necessary read for this to make any sense. Don't let the 100 chapters alarm you, though--almost 1/4 of it is smut :D  
> Title for Part 2 taken from "Gravity" by Sara Bareilles. 
> 
> This chapter picks up immediately after Bilbo and Kili enter Bag End as a couple for the first time.

_Bilbo stepped into Bag End behind Kili, circling his arms around his lover's waist._

_"Welcome home, dear heart."_

_Kili looked around._

_"Yes," Kili said with a smile. "Home."_

Kili squeezed Bilbo's hands at his waist and stepped forward. He felt as though he had gone back in time. He remembered Bilbo's foyer and his mother's poor...what did he call it? Glory box? He remembered doing cartwheels in the hall and all the trouble they caused during "clean up." He smiled in embarrassment at the memory. Knowing more now about Bilbo's family than he did then, he was lucky Bilbo ever spoke to him after that.

Little details he had not noticed in the past jumped out at him now, filling him with curiosity. Which of Bilbo's relatives was this on the wall? Did he inherit this piece of crockery or did he pick it out and buy it specifically because it appealed to him? He took note of a lovingly framed map of Middle Earth on the dining room wall. Had Bilbo realized the day he put it there that he would travel halfway across it and back again? Probably not. 

Bilbo watched Kili walk through the entryway, following much the same path as he did the night they met. He realized rather suddenly that he was nervous. They were finally here and Kili was looking around at Bag End _as his home_ for the first time. What if it did not live up to his memory? What if it seemed too small and simple after Erebor and Rivendell? What if he simply did not like it? What if, what if, what if? He snapped out of his own head when he realized Kili had been staring at him from the dining room doorway. 

"Well," Bilbo said nervously. "What do you think?"  
Kili walked up to him, lifting him off the ground and spinning him around. "I love it! I love it so much, Bee! It is even better than I recalled!"  
"Truly? Even after Erebor?"  
Kili held him tightly. "This feels like home to me."

Bilbo breathed deeply in an attempt not to weep. Kili sucked in a similar breath and Bilbo knew he was doing the same. The lingered like that for several moments until they relaxed out of the embrace. 

"Let us get the others and I'll show you around," said Bilbo with a slight sniffle. 

*****

Fili and Bofur had been unloading the wagon onto the path while Kili and Bilbo took their first private moments inside Bag End together. After the four of them moved everything into the foyer, Bilbo walked them around to the areas they might not have seen last time. Coming back from the wine cellar, Bilbo was systematically showing them the other doors off the hall. One of the rooms was shockingly nothing but clothes. Bilbo had said before that he had an entire room devoted to clothes but the dwarrows thought he was simply talking large.

"Well, it looks like one of us will not have to have a wardrobe made!" Bofur said.  
Bilbo smiled shyly. "Yes. I've missed luxuries like this. I appreciate these now more than ever. I might still have one or two pieces made, though."  
Kili giggled and kissed him. "You have as much made as you want. It is not as though we do not have the space for it plus mine besides. Any road, you will need a new wedding outfit!"

To Fili, Bilbo said, "You and Bo can have whatever room you would like."  
"How about the one with the wine?" Bofur quipped.  
"Give me a chance to rescue my father's vintage and you can do your worst," Bilbo joked back.  
"What is this room?" Fili said, exploring a doorway on the hill-side of the hall.  
Bilbo shrugged one shoulder. "Spare bedroom. Used to be mine before my parents passed."

Fili walked from side to side. It was nearly as wide as Bilbo's current room with a bed that seemed big enough for the two dwarves. It was windowless, which Fili preferred in his sleeping rooms whenever he could get it. Being deeper into the hill appealed to Fili's dwarven nature as well. 

"Would it be too presumptuous to request this room? Or would it be too personal since it was once your own?" Fili asked.  
Bilbo beamed. "No! Not too presumptuous at all! My first inclination was to offer you this room outright, but I wanted you to choose for yourselves."  
Fili asked Bo, "What do you think?"

Bofur would have happily slept in a bedroll on the sitting room floor every night as long as Fili was snuggling in it with him. The room was lovely, made all the more special by once having been Bilbo's very own. 

"I think we have a bedroom," Bofur replied. 

A ring at the door revealed the Thain's assistant and a second assistant aside, laden with food from the market. Bilbo thanked them profusely and inquired if they knew whom might be able to board their ponies and wagon. The second assistant so happened to have an uncle who made it his business to do such things. Pressing more coin into the fellow's hand, Bilbo's ponies were well on their way to the comfort of being well-fed and rested. Exhaling in relief, it was time for Bilbo to do the same for his dwarves. 

Kili and Fili were curiously peeking through the food like fauntlings, not making any moves to put it away but quite interested in seeing what new treats were in the house. Bofur teased them about it and asked Bilbo where he would like to put the food.

"I know where the pantry is, but I'd hate to put the potatoes where the tomatoes go!" Bofur said.  
"Come now, I'm not _that_ fussy," Bilbo said.

The three dwarves stopped what they were doing and stared at Bilbo.

"Well, okay, maybe I _was_ , but things have changed. Really!"

After rescuing the items he wanted for dinner, Bilbo sorted the rest between what went to the pantry and what went to the root cellar. Bofur helped put the groceries away as Bilbo chopped vegetables. Another ring at the door interrupted things. A small number of Bilbo's bolder neighbors were on his doorstep, asking after his journey and hoping to get a chance to meet his companions. He made their apologies and promised he'd be bring them to the market and pub for introductions in the next couple days. Bilbo managed to get two more carrots cut before the bell rang again. In total, it was six more times that Bilbo opened the door to see numerous acquaintances, relatives, some some folks to whom he (quite frankly) rarely spoke at all. It seemed the dwarves being royalty and the name of a mountain out of legend had overridden nearly everyone's natural tendency to avoid outsiders and shun those who befriend them. Bilbo paused dinner preparations to letter a sign. He handed it to Fili to hang on the gate. 

_"Do Not Disturb by order of the Prince Of Erebor"_

Bilbo giggled at his own cleverness. The hobbits did not know that Kili and Fili hardly recognized their titles amongst their friends, nor would the dwarves presume to lord over the locals.

Bilbo told Kili gleefully, "That ought to do the trick!"  
Fili came back in. "It is posted."  
Smirking at Bilbo's pride, Kili teased, "Which one of us supposedly made that order, anyway?"  
"Whichever one of you wants dinner tonight!" Bilbo snapped playfully.

The teasing stopped there, as did the ringing of the bell.

****

While dinner simmered, the dwarves helped Bilbo unpack. He was thrilled to be home. It seemed smaller to him than before, but no less welcoming. The windows they opened pleasantly cleared out any remaining stale air. Bilbo had missed his hearth dearly, but it was far too warm to light a fire. The chimneys probably needed a good seeing to before that happened, anyway.

They all took individual turns washing up. For the first time in his life, Bilbo assessed the size of his tub to see if it would fit two people. Perhaps not for lounging and long, leisurely soaks sprawled out in each other's arms, but tandem baths were still in Bilbo and Kili's future. Bilbo was the last one finished, discovering the table set and dinner served out when he emerged. 

Although the meal was put together quickly, it was clear to Kili that Bilbo was delighted to have his fill of familiar food once again. They all enjoyed it, apparently, because dinner was devoured. Now that evening had given way to full dark and their stomachs were comfortably full, the four of them made their way to the candlelit glow of the sitting room to relax, fully realizing how exhausted they were. Kili sat on Bilbo's lap, doubling up in his armchair. 

"I think I may need to do some rearranging, perhaps get a seat that is wider for sharing," Bilbo said.  
"No, I rather like this," Kili said, wiggling.  
"Stop that!" Bilbo laughed. 

"What would you like us to do in the morning, Bee?" Fili asked.  
Bilbo tilted his head, surprised. "What? Me?"  
Fili replied, "Yes. The Shire is your specific area of expertise and we will defer to you in these early days of where we are to go and what we do. I'm sure there are specific things that need doing, but I do not know what they are. Clearly, your neighbors are curious and we do not wish to be ungracious guests in this new land, so I imagine we'll be meeting them at some point. I remember from your stories that you have some relations fonder than others, so we would rather defer to you how these introductions happen instead of wandering out on our own and happening to meet who we meet. It seems your Thain was anxious to take a meeting, too, and as princes and ambassador we should probably follow whatever protocol goes along with that. From that besides, I do not know what should be done around the house to maintain it the way you wish, if any repairs need doing after being away for so long, how full you wish your pantry, or other matters related to housekeeping. I think the three of us should make friends with your local tailor sooner than later. There is also the matter of helping with preparations for your wedding, and starting on our gift to you besides--"  
"Please stop, Fee! Bless me, you are exhausting me with the list alone," Bilbo said.  
Fili frowned slightly.  
Smiling tenderly, Bilbo said, "If Thorin could hear you now, he would be so proud of you and what a gifted diplomat you've become. You sound so, so _regal_. I appreciate your wish to settle into your new home appropriately and seamlessly, befitting your title besides. Perhaps it does not all need to be done in one day?"  
Fili glowed with the praise. "No, of course not, but perhaps let us know what your priorities are?"  
"Immediately, my priorities are for us to have the best night's sleep since Rivendell in actual beds. In the morning--or afternoon, if you sleep late--we are going to eat our fill without the shyness of being someone's guests or the worry that the food has to last us however long before it runs out. I will pop out to see Isumbras and find out when we can sit with him. If you feel up to it, perhaps we'll visit the market for some introductions. I would warn you about the neighbors but we've survived Mirkwood, Lake Town, and the battle. I imagine our first trip to the market will be like a combination of all three, so at least we are practiced! I think a visit to the Green Dragon tomorrow night might also be in order, as I have no beer in the house. More than anything, though, I want us to relax and just _be_ for a bit, content that a long, long journey is finally at its end."

Kili exchanged a worried, knowing look with Fili that Bilbo missed. 

"Bee, you truly are a treasure," Bofur said. "That plan sounds wonderful. You make a fantastic host."  
"Although I do not mind providing guidance as you grow accustomed to this new environment, I do not want you to so formally consider me your host," Bilbo said. "You live here now."  
"I suppose we do," said Bofur with a sweet grin. 

Kili fidgeted, the movement grinding his bum against Bilbo's crotch.  
"Kee, stop squirming! You're rubbing me in...places," Bilbo said.  
Kili perked up with interest. "Oh really?"

He wiggled more suggestively. Bilbo grabbed his wrist and encouraged him to turn around. Kili faced Bilbo, knees on the floor, in between the hobbit's legs while Bilbo nudged open kisses into his mouth. 

Fili and Bofur looked on as the encounter escalated. Bilbo's hand disappeared down Kili's trousers while the dwarf panted out quiet moans. Bilbo and Kili had become more casual with their encounters after their wine-fueled show in the woods, but neither Fili nor Bofur had gotten used to it. This was also the closest they had been to the pair while such activities were being enjoyed since that night. They looked at each other, silently trying to figure this out. Were they meant to watch? More? When they looked back, Kili's trousers were around his thighs and Bilbo's middle finger was buried in the cleft of his bare bottom. They heard Bilbo murmur in Kili's ear, "I'm taking you. You are mine tonight." Kili whimpered in agreement.

Bilbo moved to stand and Kili temporarily hitched his trousers back up. Bilbo said, "I think we will be going to bed. Do either of you need anything to make you comfortable?"

Bofur nearly laughed. He was decidedly _uncomfortable_ sitting there with an erection straining against his trousers. He and Fili both replied, "No." 

To Bofur's surprise, Bilbo approached him. Placing an achingly tender kiss on Bofur's cheek, Bilbo said, "I'm glad you are here."  
Doing the same to Fili, he said, "Both of you."

Bilbo and Kili disappeared down the hall.

"Okay, that was hot," Bofur said.  
"The kiss or the finger up Kee's arse?"  
Bofur playfully smacked Fili. "The show, obviously. The kiss was...sweet."  
"It was, wasn't it? It is so important to him that we like it here. I think Bilbo is as shocked as anyone that he came home from Erebor with three dwarrows. He's gone from living alone to having no home at all for a year to having housemates."  
"A large part of why I came was for the three of you, but I confess that I've been looking forward to seeing what life is like here," Bofur said.  
"If tonight is any indication, at least we'll be well-fed," Fili joked.

*****

When Fili and Bofur made the move toward their bedroom, they were surprised to see candle-glow spilling into the hall from the master bedroom. Unmistakable noises drifted from the partially open door.

 _Open door_ , Fili thought. _That is something new_.

Not wishing to gawk but unwilling to miss the opportunity to peek, Fili and Bofur stood on the hinge-side of the door and peered through the crack. 

Bilbo lay on his back closer to the foot of the bed. Kili sat atop him, facing away, a look of ecstasy on his face. They moved together, grunting in concert with each thrust. 

"C'mere," Bilbo said, pulling Kili's back to his chest. 

Kili adjusted in order to plant his feet on the bed. Bilbo wrapped both arms around Kili's chest and pumped into him, pulling forth a wail. The pair seemed lost to each other. 

Fili and Bofur were aroused and, though the door was ajar, unsure how welcome they were to watch. When they did not think they would be noticed, they stole past the doorway and down the hall.

*****

"I want you on your knees," Bilbo said.  
Pressed against Bilbo's chest, Kili panted, "I was just _on_ my knees."

Bilbo urged Kili up, holding him close to his body. He faced him toward the bedpost.  
"Yes," he said, pushing into him again, "but not like this."  
Kili pitched forward and held on to the bedpost with both hands.  
"Fuck, just like that," BIlbo breathed. He stroked in and out of Kili, steady and strong. "Do you have any earthly idea how many times I've imagined fucking you in my own bed? One of my favorites was you like this, holding onto the bedpost for dear life."  
"You feel so good-- _Mahal_ , that's the spot! Don't stop!"

Bilbo increased his pace, making Kili swear and moan. 

"Touch me. I can't let go so touch me," Kili pleaded.  
"Maybe I want to see if I can get you there like this tonight," Bilbo purred.  
"No! Please...I need your hand. _Fuck_ , stroke me! Touch me, please!"

Bilbo was too close himself to toy with Kili for long, especially when Kili moaned his name. His hand snaked around to pump Kili's cock. Kili gurgled out a half-laugh, half-moan in relief. 

"Yes," he repeated with each exhale, growing louder each time until he cried out, spilling over Bilbo's hand.

Bilbo felt all of it--Kili clenching him on one end and wetting him on the other. He braced one hand on Kili's shoulder for leverage and fucked into him until he was coming, too. Once the twitching subsided, he eased out and flopped back on the bed. Kili landed beside him and nuzzled in. 

"First time marking me in our home,' Kili sighed contentedly. "It was better than my dreams."  
"I don't know...my dreams were pretty fantastic," Bilbo teased. Kili bit his nipple. "Ow! I'm just joking!"  
Bilbo tipped Kili's face up and kissed him.  
" _Everything_ about bonding with you has surpassed my dreams," he whispered.  
"Now I need to mark _you_ in our room," Kili said.  
"I intend to fuck you over every piece of furniture in the house," Bilbo promised.  
"I suppose I'll have to do the same. Just to keep things even, of course."  
"Oh, of course," Bilbo murmured. 

He rolled Kili onto his back and kissed him passionately.

*****

As Bofur moved two fingers inside him, Fili was grateful they had oil at the ready.  
"Funny how Bilbo can have a screaming orgasm in front of us but still blush when he suggested we unpack a bottle of oil to our room," Fili mused in between pleasured sighs.  
"Part of his charm, that," Bofur agreed, "although it is your orgasm I'm thinking of at the moment."  
"For that I'm-" Fili groaned as Bofur stretched him even wider. "-grateful."  
"Fuck, Fee, please say you can handle me now. I can't wait another second to be inside you."  
"Do it. You know I don't mind the burn," Fili whispered. He rolled onto his side.  
Bofur spooned up behind him, lifting Fili's leg to push into him shallowly. "You know I love that about you, too. You are my sweet, blond pervert."

He worked in further, deep enough to press his chest to Fili's back. Fili pushed back into him, signaling he was ready, and the lovers moved in rhythm. 

Leaning to Fili's ear, Bofur said, "You are a bundle of contradictions yourself, y'know. Shy, lusty, sweet, wild...you can be so proper but in bed you are hotter than dragon fire. You constantly surprise me. _Fuck_ , Fili, half the time I can't decide if I want to fuck you or marry you."

Bofur was so lost in the pleasure and the emotion that seemed to overtake him whenever he and Fili made love that he did not realize what he said until a moment after he said it. He was glad Fili was facing away from him so he could not see Bofur's expression. Bofur was mortified. He had meant it, of course, but actually _saying it out loud_ was going too far. He promised Fili back at Beorn's he would not bring it up. Bofur expected Fili to scramble away from him any moment, now. 

What he did not expect was this.

Fili arched back into him with a moan. "Maybe you should do both."

Bofur placed a gentle hand on Fili's jaw and tilted his face to the side, propping himself up on an elbow to look in Fili's eyes. Fili gazed up at him, adoring and vulnerable, hoping he hadn't said too much. Bofur dropped a kiss to Fili's lips, massaging them open and flicking his tongue inside. Fili sighed and opened his mouth wider. 

Bofur squeezed his eyes shut as Fili opened up to him, as though he may burst. He prayed it was not simply the physical passion that prompted Fili's reply. He stroked his cock inside Fili again and again, driving them both to the brink of madness. Fili's hand fisted around his cock, rubbing frantically. His body stiffened and he threw his head back when his climax hit. His mouth was open but he was so tensed from head to toe, all he could do was shudder. He could not utter a sound. Just before the final pulse shot through Fili, Bofur groaned into his shoulder and pushed deep inside, twitching and filling him. Bofur shifted to pull away but Fili reached behind and stayed his hip. 

"Don't let me go," Fili murmured. "Don't ever let me go."  
Bofur kissed his neck. "I don't intend to."

*****

A small group of dwarves were having a merry summer camp out. On the whole, they were much livelier and cheerful than when they had last passed this way. Not being hunted by orcs was always good.

 _"Nori, how far do you figure we are? Halfway to Rivendell by now, do you think?"_ Bifur asked.  
"Hard to tell, considering that last time we were over this land, it was by eagle," Nori said, looking up as though he would see one.  
"I think I much prefer it this way," Dori said.  
"I don't know," Nori replied thoughtfully. "I do not think I would turn the opportunity down again if I had it, although I would much rather climb up on an eagle than be snatched by one."  
Dori shuddered at the memory of falling. "We are dwarrows and our place is close to the earth or safe within a mountain," he said with finality.  
"I did not much like the ride either," Ori soothed, rubbing Dori's back. "Or its beginnings."  
"Ach, all this talk of eagles! Let's speak of more pleasant things, like food! It appears our dinner is ready," Oin said.  
"Oh yes, food! Much better food heading back than going forward, I must say" Ori said.  
Replied Bifur, _"Getting ambushed does have a way of dwindling the food supply."_  
"You mentioned Rivendell. Will we actually be stopping there for supplies?" Ori asked hopefully.  
" _No_ ," Dwalin said firmly. "When we last saw Gandalf, he told us of a better way through the mountains that will cut easily a week from our time. If we cannot avoid going through it on his path--which I suspect--we are certainly not staying this time. We will not need their aid."  
"Oh," Ori said, dejected. He did not hold the older dwarrows' prejudices (towards the elves of Rivendell at the very least) and had rather hoped for an overnight there.  
Dwalin momentarily felt bad for upsetting the lad. "I think we're further along than Bifur guesses. If we continue to make good time, we'll be in the Shire before mid-September. I'm willing to bet the hobbits will keep you plenty occupied."  
Ori brightened. "The Shire in autumn! Can you imagine all those _trees_? It has to be the most beautiful sight, don't you think? Bilbo promised to stuff me full of pies, too. What sort of fruit do they have in the Shire, do you think?"

Dwalin walked away as Ori excitedly chattered and asked Dori and Oin about indigenous pie ingredients, almost laughing in spite of himself. Even with the horrors they all faced, Ori managed somehow to avoid getting hardened. Ori had been a little mopey since Spring, but the notion of visiting with Bilbo in the Shire had perked him right back up. As he walked out to the edge of clearing, Dwalin wondered just what it was about the hobbit that had so many dwarrows enchanted. They all wanted to be his best mate...or bed mate. He supposed the little fellow was exceptionally brave. Bilbo was smart, too, he'd give him that. He could as like make a troll weep when he sang and had the stamina to dance most the night. Drank with the best of them, too. Dwalin sighed. He guessed he _could_ see the appeal, but the fact remained that Bilbo hurt Thorin. Even aside from the mistakes Thorin made that split them apart, Bilbo had been dishonorable about his true intentions. Thorin had his love betrayed by the only person he saw fit to give it to in nearly two centuries of life and Dwalin could not forgive Bilbo for that, no matter how much Thorin would beseech. 

The sun had disappeared below the horizon but the last wisps of pink still glowed in a purpling sky. Dwalin approached a figure staring off into the space the sun left behind as it vanished. 

"It is time to eat. You should probably not skip any more meals if you want your trousers to stay up," Dwalin said.  
"Thank you, Dwalin. Have the others get theirs. I'll be over to eat shortly," Thorin replied.


	2. With Both Feet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili, Kili, and Bofur jump right into their first day in the Shire, but put a tiny pinhole in Bilbo's happy balloon.

Bilbo rose early the next morning with a pinching stomach, even though it had been quite full the evening before. It was as if his body knew its surroundings and decided it was time to be a hobbit again. Kili was sacked out on his back, mouth open, breathing deeply. Bilbo carefully climbed out of bed, not waking the dwarf. He padded down the hall, observing his smial filling the light of pure morning for the first time in many months. He had his home back, he had a family, and he had Kili. Even without the chests of treasure in the back room, no hobbit in history had ever been richer.

*****

Bofur woke to the smells of cooking. Blinking his eyes open, he remembered they were now in Bag End. Bilbo had been right--there was definitely a comfort to be found in a hobbit hole that was unlike any they had experienced. Erebor was cold, Beorn's was huge, and Rivendell was opulent, but here...here seemed like a mighty fine place to spend a decade or two. He kissed Fili awake.

"Hey, seems like someone is up and making food. Want to go see about it?" Bofur asked.  
Fili grinned. "That sounds great."

*****

Bilbo was cooking, humming happily to himself when Fili and Bofur appeared.  
"Oh! Did my song wake you?" Bilbo asked. "I thought you'd sleep later than this."  
Replied Bofur, "No, the smell of food did."  
"I did not think about that! I figured I'd make breakfast and everyone could just eat when they wanted to eat."  
"I'm thinking right now would be a good time for that," Kili's voice came from the hall.  
"Oh no! I woke the whole house up?"  
"'Tis okay, Bee. No one is complaining," Bofur assured him.

Bilbo truly did not mean to wake anyone, but he was quietly glad he did not eat breakfast alone. So many mornings it had been just him and he did not even know better to mind it at the time. _This_ was so much better. 

Bilbo dressed--oh to have choices in clothes again!--and ventured out to test the neighborhood for official introductions later on. He was intercepted a time or two, but none of the questions were particularly invasive. He ducked in to see Isumbras and promised him a word later that morning with the dwarrows, the Thain's schedule permitting.

*****

The dwarrows were interested in visiting the marketplace first, so the moment Bilbo returned, off they went. They garnered attention immediately and amassed quite a group to follow them to market. Although he joked about it the night before, leaving the house with the dwarrows truly did put Bilbo in mind of Lake Town and the way they were followed around there. There were more interruptions this time, since people who knew Bilbo were more brazen than the human strangers, but Bilbo would rather get it all out of the way at once. Fili, Kili, and even Bofur all made efforts to not disappoint the expectations that went with their titles, holding themselves regally. However, they also showed the utmost courtesy and there were many sweeping bows taken. The ladies (and some of the gents) blushed and giggled in the company of the handsome dwarrows. Bilbo and Kili's rings also stirred up a fuss among those who enjoyed shiny things, which is to say nearly everyone who saw them.

Bilbo was surprised how quick to meet the hobbits were, though he preferred that to the bolted doors and fear he thought could have been awaiting them. He had not been sure how they would be received when he first asked Kili home. He silently thanked Thorin for the official decree and the urge to send it sooner than later. There had been plenty of time for word to spread about the nature and origin of Bilbo's new housemates that worked very much in their favor. Bilbo supposed the money circulating to vendors for the wedding did not hurt, either. Oh, the wedding! It seemed to him that nearly everyone was angling for an invitation. The arrangements the Thain had helped him make in his absence fueled rumors that it was to be quite the affair. Bilbo swelled with pride, for that was only the beginning. These hobbits had seen nothing yet! 

In between introductions, the four of them were able to get some errands completed, too. 

Bilbo marched them all into the tailor the moment his door came into view. Wilibald Brownlock was fascinated by the clothing the dwarrows wore. They walked in wearing the last of Thorin's commission that was still in good condition. They all ordered more hobbitish clothing in the hopes to better fit in, but Wil offered deep discounts if he would be permitted to replicate some of their own garments as well. Bilbo thought poor old Wil was going to pass out cold when Bofur offered him his road clothes to take apart for inspection and pattern drafting. 

Wil thanked them profusely for their custom and ran out the back door, looking for his apprentice and hopefully one or two others besides. The dwarves' order was immense and even with the discounts, the deposit alone would run his business for the next six months! He was going to need some help and that was a fact. He mentally wrote textile orders in his head as he jogged.

Bilbo left Fili and Kili at the blacksmith's where the three of them were talking craft. Kili had already charmed the smith into allowing them to use his forge on occasion, not that it would have been difficult. The bragging rights that a dwarf (a dwarf prince, at that) sometimes used his forge would have likely prompted him to offer it up had Kili not steered the conversation in that direction first. 

While Bilbo shopped for a few grocery items that weren't included in the delivery the evening before, Bofur was distracted by a wood smith's stall. He excused himself, saying that he wanted the name of someone at the mill who could help them buy wood for the bed they would be making. Bilbo smiled to himself, knowing full well Bofur could probably be there chatting until dark if one of them did not eventually fetch him. 

The grocer's assistant totaled up Bilbo's purchases.  
"Pardon me for saying so, Mister Baggins, but these days they say it is not good for you to eat so much fried food."

The grocer turned around to see what the assistant was on about. Surveying the bottles of oil in the carry-basket, he fixed a shrewd eye on Bilbo.

Bilbo shuffled nervously. "Right, right, right. Indeed, uh, fried food."  
He coughed as a distraction and quickly asked after the price of apples. 

Bilbo rounded up the dwarves, said their farewells, and walked by Bagshot Row to drop off their purchases before heading to Isumbras.

In anticipation of their arrival, the Thain's conference table was set for Elevensies. In addition, the Thain was full of pomp and ceremony in greeting and speaking with the dwarves. Bilbo tried to remind himself not to be too impatient with his cousin, because Isumbras didn't know how down-to-earth Kili and Fili truly were. For his part, Bilbo had to remember to treat the Thain with more respect for his office. After keeping the company of wizards, elf royalty, and bedding a prince and a king, somehow a political officer of the Shire did not seem very, well, official. He had already presumed rather heavily by asking Isumbras to help him with wedding tasks while he was away. Bilbo promised himself to be more respectful in the future and hire actual assistants if he needed help with errands. 

Isumbras listened to the tale of Bilbo's trip out of the Shire and back home again. Quite a few of the romantic complications were cut from the story as it went. Isumbras had a difficult time believing that Bilbo Baggins--of all hobbits--did even a fraction of the things attributed to him. Had the other three dwarves not agreed it was true (or looked so grave), Isumbras might have dismissed it all as nothing more than a giant ball of yarn to spin at pubs and parties. He looked at Bilbo with a new respect, now, and felt less wounded about Bilbo making his handful of requests.

Business conducted and snack time concluded, Isumbras thanked them all for coming and let them go about their day. He held Bilbo back for a word alone.

"Dwarves living in the Shire are highly irregular. This isn't Bree, you know. People will talk about you," Isumbras warned.

Bilbo sighed. _Here is the first of it,_ he thought. 

Replied Bilbo, "The world is larger than any of us ever realized, and even as I speak it is changing and evolving. The last great worm is dead at the bottom of the Lake, Dale and Erebor are rebuilding, and the peoples of Erebor will be returning East to their lost and beloved home. I've seen dwarves and elves make alliances with my own eyes, and men besides. The Shire is quietly protected by faces we never see to thank and has a patron wizard who is regarded as little more than a peddler of whizpoppers. Alliances of our own would be no bad thing and it will only be a credit to you that you were progressive enough to see it for what it was."  
'I do! I do, Bilbo. I am a Took, after all, more Took than even you. The money coming into the Shire from these dealings with dwarves--both yours and the refugees traveling back to Thorin, King of Erebor--will be more than enough for me to explain compliance, even if heavily questioned. I voice my concern for you, my boy. Should these dwarves some day leave you behind, your name is going to be in tatters. It is only somewhat intact now because this is all so new and they carry impressive titles, but who knows what public opinion may be in six months?"  
"These dwarves are my family, now. The things I've endured with them have bonded us for life, both in their culture as well as in my heart. They will not be leaving me behind. Should duty call Fili and Bofur back to Erebor, Kili would always be with me. As far as the court of public opinion goes, I might remind you that I have fought alongside elves, men, and dwarves, killed orcs, and faced down a dragon. I can handle a community of hobbits just fine...and with fewer scars, too."  
"You carry your father's name, but that was your mother's son talking just then. Bella would be so proud of you, Bilbo. She would have loved your Kili, too. Truth be told, she would be quite mad about all of them. You have my support, should you need it," Isumbras said.  
Bilbo's throat felt unexpectedly tight.  
"Thank you," he managed to say. 

The dwarves were playing with some children when Bilbo joined them outside. The four of them were accompanied all the way back to Bag End, eventually gathering more than two dozen youngsters on the way. As Bilbo predicted early on, the children were utterly enchanted by Kili, Fili, and Bofur. Fauntlings did not share their elder's typical reticence about new people and experiences. Bilbo was glad for it, too. The charm of the new would eventually wear off for many of the adult hobbits, likely returning them to the usual gossiping, clucking chickens they were. However, the wonder of the children would endure. Bilbo knew that regardless of the handshakes, hugs, and wide smiles in his direction today, Isumbras was correct--his reputation was well good and lost amongst his neighbors and peers. His hope was that the four of them might foster within the children a respect and wonder for the outside world...and of outsiders in their own world. For the first time, Bilbo thought there could be possibly be other hobbits like him, quietly interested in elves and the lands beyond the Shire, with no one in their lives to tell them that such curiosity was not a bad thing. New Dale, Erebor, maybe even Rivendell could use some hobbits in residence. Bilbo hoped "never venture East" could become a lesson of the past.

*****

Bilbo undressed for bed.  
"Close your eyes," Kili said.  
"Hmmm?"  
"Close your eyes," Kili insisted.  
Bilbo did as he was told. He heard rustling.  
"Hold out your hands."  
Bilbo put his hands out, palm up. Something was placed in them.  
"Open!" Kili said.

Bilbo held a dish of sorts, metal on two ends with three carved wood stands about a palm and a half's length between them. The top area curved in like a bowl and the bottom piece had a short pin sticking upwards. It was a bit too shallow and awkward to be a goblet, but it was obviously made with care and skill. 

"What is it?" Bilbo asked.  
"A new-home present," Kili explained. "Well, more like a bed present, actually. It is for the nightstand, in which to put oil so we aren't always fiddling with the bottle. I started making it in Erebor when we visited."  
"This is beautiful...and sexy. Thank you!"  
"It is for both of us, truly. It is tall enough that we could spike a candle-end on the bottom plate and heat the oil if we wished. Wouldn't that be something," Kili's voice deepened with desire, "to have warm oil slicking your hole?"  
Bilbo felt tingles dance in his abdomen. "Oh yes."  
"Can't leave it burn too long, though. Warm oil sounds fun. Boiling oil, perhaps not so much."  
Bilbo grinned. "No, I expect not. Finish undressing and we'll give it a go. Warm, not boiling."  
Kili was hard before he even got his trousers off.

*****

Within the first couple days at Bag End, Bilbo and Kili's swords were hung over the fireplace and their special, engraved goblets rested on the mantle. Bofur framed Bilbo's copy of Estel's verse and put it up on the wall. Other souvenirs of the journey found places of honor in their home. Bilbo encouraged Fili and Bofur to get comfortable and help make it more like home for them, but they declined to decorate anything more than their room.

"It is important for Kee to feel like he belongs here," Fili said.  
"You and Bo belong here, too," Bilbo protested.  
Fili rested his forehead against Bilbo's, touched by the sentiment. "It warms my heart to hear you say that. What I mean is, with your rougher beginnings, I think it is more meaningful for the two of you to begin to grow into this space together as an expression of your union. Bo and I do not have to decorate in order to feel happy or loved within your walls. I must confess, I've been putting some thought into perhaps purchasing some land for us to have walls of our very own."  
Bilbo stepped back in happy surprise. "That is delightful! Not to imply I want you gone because you will always have a home with us, but that you would want to create a home of your own in the Shire...well, it is possible I might weep."  
"Don't weep, Bee!"  
"Out of joy, I assure you."  
"It is just an idea for the moment," said Fili. "Keep it to yourself, if you please, until we figure out how attached we grow to the Shire...or how attached it grows to us. "  
"I will not breathe a word, not even to your brother."

*****

Kili and Fili smoked on the bench in front of Bag End. Bilbo was off on an errand and Fili could hear Bofur now and again as he played with some children further down the row.

"You've not told him," Fili said accusingly.  
"I'm going to!"  
"You are running out of time. We have to leave in the next couple days. As it is, we've only got a little over a week to get to Ered Luin and back again before Bilbo estimates guests could start to arrive."  
Kili said miserably, "He's just so happy right now. I can't bear to see his face fall."  
"Bilbo is not going to begrudge you a visit to your mother, particularly given that he is the primary reason you are going!"  
"I don't want to go. I'm happy, too. Can't I just write her and fill in the details when she gets here?" Kili whined.  
"Who knows what Thorin has told her? You've only written her small pieces. If you do not want to create a world of trouble for yourself, you have to tell her what is happening in person. I barely understand the whole sordid situation and I was there as it all unfolded!"  
"I know, I know. I just wish I could take him along."  
"Bilbo does not have another week to be on the road in the middle of all this wedding stuff, plus you know how relieved he is to be home. Knowing Mam, I think it is probably wise to leave Bee out of it until we tell her everything, anyway. She's always been close to Thorin and she might be none too thrilled to meet Bilbo just yet."  
Kili sighed. "Sometimes, I hate it when you are right."

*****

After dinner, Bilbo, Fili, Kili, and Bofur smoked outside in the warmth of an August evening. The sun was beginning to set and Bilbo was showing off, blowing smoke rings "around" the sinking ball of light. Fili nudged his brother hard enough to nearly knock him off the bench. Kili shot a dirty look in Fili's direction.

"Um, Bee?" Kili said.  
Bilbo glanced at him, still smiling from his last smoke ring triumph. The look on Kili's face faded the smile off Bilbo's.  
"Yes?" Bilbo asked. He looked around at the other dwarves. Their expressions weren't better.  
Kili stood to hold Bilbo's free hand. "Fili and I have an important errand to run before the wedding and it shouldn't wait."  
"Okay,' Bilbo formed the word slowly.  
"It involves leaving the Shire."  
Bilbo frowned deeply.  
Kili was quick to add, "We're coming back! I swear we are! It is just...I need to go to Ered Luin and tell mother about the wedding. This isn't something I can just write her about, particularly since we are close enough to tell her in person. I don't know how much Thorin has told her, either, and I might have a lot of explaining to do. She and Thorin grew very protective of each other after our other uncle died."  
"But the wedding...I don't know if I have that much time to spare," Bilbo said helplessly.  
"You do not have to come with us, Bee. In fact, it is better that you stay here," Kili said.  
"What he means to say is," Fili jumped in before Kili misspoke and created trouble, "we would like to make sure our mother understands the situation fully before introducing her to you."  
Bilbo gazed up at Kili. "But you just got here," he said, dejected.

Kili couldn't stand the look on Bilbo's face another moment and seized him into a tight hug.

Bilbo put on a brave front. "It is okay, Kee. You cannot get married without telling your mother and I understand that. I simply worry so about sending you back out on the road, plus I will miss you most awfully."  
He stood back and composed himself. "Well, at any rate we'll be able to get a lot of things done for the wedding without our favorite distractions, right Bo?"

Bofur looked down at the ground guiltily.  
Bilbo glanced at Kili and Fili. "No Bo?"  
"I'll be taking this opportunity to introduce him to our mother," Fili said. "Plus, there is safety in numbers on the road."  
"-and Bofur would not be parted from you if he had the choice," Bilbo finished.  
"I know you wouldn't either," Kili said. "This time, you do not really have the choice. It is only temporary, anyway. We managed to get to the Shire ahead of our time plan. I'll be home before it is an issue."  
"When do you leave?" Bilbo asked.  
"We could wait a couple more days or we could pack up food and go tomorrow," Fili said. "We'll leave that up to you."  
"The sooner you go, the sooner you will return to me. I don't want to spend three days dreading for you to leave when you could already be nearly there," Bilbo reasoned. 

They were quiet for a few moments before Bilbo spoke again. 

"What if she decides you cannot marry me?" he asked, voice wavering.  
"It is not her choice to make," Kili assured him softly. "Besides, once she meets you, she will fall in love with you like everyone has."  
"But Kili-"  
"-Hush. I am not asking her leave, I'm honoring her as my mother. Should she disapprove of our match, it will make no difference to me. I've lived my life for you practically since the night we met. Nothing is going to change that now."  
"You know how single-minded Kee is when he wants something. You have nothing to worry about," Fili assured him.

Bilbo sighed again into Kili's embrace. He'd managed to get by some fifty years without Kili. Surely he could handle a handful of days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome, friends! Thank you for continuing to follow this story. I love you!


	3. Don't You Cry Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo has a difficult time letting Kili leave the Shire. Bofur is introspective even as he is fucking Fili into the mattress. The dwarves leave for Ered Luin and Kili has a life-altering realization.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title borrowed from Guns & Roses.

Fili and Bofur kissed at the foot of their bed. Slow, unhurried kisses grew more urgent and Bofur paused for breath, leaning against Fili's forehead. He wanted to speak to Fili before they were carried away by lust yet again.

"The other night, in bed, I said something in the moment," Bofur said.  
Fili did not have to ask which thing Bofur meant, having replayed it in his mind many times.  
He smiled shyly. "Only in the moment?"  
"I promised not to bring it up after our talk at Beorn's and I want you to know I did not willfully break my promise."  
"It made me flutter inside like crazy," Fili confessed.  
"Did it?"  
Fili stroked his hand along Bofur's neck, resting on his nape. Fili seized Bofur's other hand and moved it to his crotch.  
"I'm fluttering now simply thinking of it," he whispered.  
"Fuck," Bofur sighed.  
"Please," Fili replied, licking past his lips.

Bofur untied Fili's trousers while they kissed, reaching in for a warm handful of stiff cock the very moment he shoved them down. Fili gasped into his mouth. Bofur fumbled around with one hand for the oil, falling to his knees when he found it. He yanked one trouser leg off around Fili's foot, leaving the other to pool on the floor around his ankle. Bofur spread Fili's stance wider and oiled his fingers. Teasing around Fili's entrance, Bofur wrapped his lips around his prick. Fili nearly fell forward, steadying himself on Bofur's shoulders. He started to speak but Bofur slipped two fingers in at once and Fili mewled instead. Bofur was going at him quickly with fingers at the back and his mouth at the front. Fili felt like all he could do was hold on as Bofur gave him all these incredible sensations. By the time Bofur added a third finger, Fili was crying out Bofur's name with every thrust. Bofur increased his pace, sucking Fili into his mouth more quickly and tightly while crooking his fingers _just so_. Fili tried to pant out a warning but he came too fast. His fingers tightened in Bofur's hair, pulling almost painfully against his scalp.

Fili had not yet caught his breath when Bofur pushed him face front on the bed. Slicking himself, Bofur lined up and pressed into Fili's body.

Fili found his voice. " _Now_ you're going to fuck me?"  
"I had to taste you. I never get to taste you when we make love," Bofur explained. He thrust in hard. "And yes, now I'm going to fuck you. I'm fucking you hard until I come."

Fili moaned. Gods, he wanted to finish like this! Bofur was not teasing when he said "hard," either. He was slamming into Fili so forcefully it jarred the air from the blond's lungs. Fili felt Bofur's fingers dig into his hips and knew he would have marks tomorrow. He loved it.

Bofur had never fucked Fili like this before, purely for his own pleasure. Usually, he and FIli were trying to get off at the same time and he was as worried about Fili's finish as he was his own. It felt so taboo to simply _use_ his lover like this. He growled and shouted as he came, holding on to Fili's hips tightly. He stroked a few more times, making both of them whimper, and he pulled out. He watched some of his own semen dribble out after him. He smirked to himself, bent down, and licked Fili's wet opening. Fili cried out Bofur's name and Bofur did it again, this time dipping his tongue inside for more.

"Fuck, that is obscene," Fili moaned.  
Taking a few more licks, Bofur stood and rolled Fili over.  
"No, _this_ is obscene," he said. Bofur kissed him deeply, leading with his tongue.  
"Do you taste me Fee? I licked that out of your sweet little arse," Bofur said.

Fili grinded his body against Bofur, cock ready for more.

"Make me come again, Bo," Fili begged.  
"My eternal pleasure," Bofur drawled.

 

*****

"Kili, Kili, Kili," Bilbo whispered. He was rolling on the bed with his lover, holding him close, and touching his bare skin everywhere he could reach.

Kili loved sharing his nickname with Bilbo, but there was something about Bilbo calling him "Kili" these days that affected him deeply. Bilbo usually used it to address him directly when he was being serious about the subject at hand. Currently, the subject at hand was _him_ , so Bilbo whispering it over and over while trying to commit his body to memory with his fingertips squeezed Kili's heart and stiffened his prick at the same time.

Kili spoke quietly. "It will be okay, my jewel. Oh, my warmest jewel," he exhaled. "I'll miss you more than you know but I'll be back soon."  
"I know you wouldn't go if it was not important. Just-"  
Bilbo stopped speaking to claim Kili's mouth, stirring the dwarf up even more.  
"-Hold me tonight. Make love to me like it is the last time." Bilbo's voice hitched.  
Kili smoothed a palm over Bilbo's forehead and down to his cheek, cradling his head. "Hey," he said tenderly, "what kind of talk is that?"  
"You know what Gandalf said. 'The wild is still the wild.' I'm not going to be there to see you to journey's end safe with my own eyes. If the worst should happen-" His voice broke completely as a tear ran down his cheek. "s-should happen, I want this to be the m-most, the most..."

Bilbo was trembling in Kili's arms, now. Kili kissed the trail of the tear. He hated that he was doing this to him. Kili kissed Bilbo's temple and held him close, rocking him slightly.

"Shhh, my sweet one. Please don't cry. I hate it when you cry."  
Bilbo breathed a labored breath, trying to calm himself.  
"That's it. I can't do it," Kili said. "I can't go."  
"You have to go!"  
"I already did not want to leave you as it was, but to leave you afraid and weeping like this is far too much for me to bear."  
"But your mother-"  
"-My mother will have to respect my decision and not worry about how it was made."  
Bilbo propped up on an arm to look at Kili, fat tears still in the corners of his eyes. "You can't do that, not for me. It is your _mother_. You only truly get one, believe me when I say I know. For all she knew, she sent you off to your death when she let Thorin bring you. You're safe but she is going to want to see you in person. She could wait until the wedding but she does not know about the wedding yet. When you are less than a week's ride out, you couldn't simply send her a _letter_ telling her about it, even if we did not have the complications with Thorin. It is true I'm worried, sad, and scared, but as much as I hate it, you must go."  
Kili rubbed the pad of his thumb gently on Bilbo's cheekbone. "I do not wish to be the cause of sad tears in your eyes."  
"Then make me forget I'm sad," Bilbo said.

Kili gazed into Bilbo's eyes for a moment before pressing a needy kiss to Bilbo's lips. Bilbo returned it desperately.

 

*****

As Fili slept next to him, Bofur wondered if Fili instigated the sex to avoid talking about marriage or if he instigated the sex _because_ of it. There was no good way to bring it up twice now without seeming a simpleton. Fili had said some things lately that made Bofur think that maybe he was more ready than he let on for a promise like that. Of course, there was their bond, too. Even if they never officially wed, they were bond-mates. In light of that, Bofur was not sure, really, exactly why he wanted it. He had Fili's love, his body with no restrictions, and they slept in the same bed each night. He would have all that with or without getting married, but the mere thought of it made his head dizzy in the most delightful ways. He supposed he was like Kili in that respect--happy with the bond, but wanting more. Agreeing to wed clearly seemed to strengthen Kili and Bilbo's relationship. Bofur had seen Kili go from uncertain to confident. Confident enough to encourage Bilbo to suck Bofur's fingers as though they were his--

\--Well, that whole situation was simply a ball of confusion, wasn't it? Bofur was shocked Kili and Bilbo wanted to be watched as much as he was shocked to find he and Fili enjoyed it themselves. Bilbo and Kili had not closed their bedroom door a single time since returning home, either, even though they were having sex at least a couple times a day. Bofur remembered Bilbo telling him once that if he and Kili were alone long enough to play, Kili had a hand down his pants and that Kili would go at him repeatedly until Bilbo could take no more. Bofur had now witnessed the truth in the brag. He had a difficult time complaining about this turn of events, to be sure, but he was confused. He and Fili wanted to watch--fuck, Fili wanted to _touch_ \--but he wasn't sure if the open door was an invitation or simply a convenience.

Fili wasn't the only one who wanted to touch, either. The thought of the two of them crawling all over Bilbo, of Bofur finally being able to _kiss_ him...it shot sparks up his spine. Bofur's overworked cock was beginning to stir again. He imagined his bond-mate and his best friend naked, both sighing and moaning for his touches, and Kili pounding inside Bilbo, commanding that Fili and Bofur better make Bilbo come hard or he would have to show them how. Bofur pulled at his cock, stifling a moan.

Fili stirred next to him. His eyes fluttered open. "Again?"  
Bofur licked his lips and breathed heavy through his nose as he tried to get himself there.  
Fili climbed up to straddle him. "I'm wet with your come and stretched twice over from earlier. No sense in wasting a perfectly good arse," he flirted.  
Bofur grabbed two handfuls of said arse while Fili sank down to his base.  
"Bloody fuck, I adore you," Bofur groaned.

 

*****

Bilbo fixed breakfast for them the next morning and readied the packs while Fili and Kili picked up the ponies from the stable.

"Are you nervous to meet their mother as Fili's suitor?" Bilbo asked, straining to make cheerful conversation in his sadness.  
"Not as nervous as I was to have my talk with Thorin. He and I had some bitter history."  
Bilbo bit the inside of his cheek. "Because of me," he said.  
"No, not because of you. Is that what you think?" Bofur asked seriously.  
Now Bilbo was embarrassed. "Well, I thought, um, well with the flirting, and, oh drat-"  
Bofur put his hands on Bilbo's shoulders. "It was not because of you. It was because of _him_. I do not want to hear you blame yourself for his insecurities, shortcomings, or any of the rest of that rot again. Promise me?"  
Bilbo's eyes met Bofur's. "I promise."  
Bofur let his hands drop to his sides. "While you're at it, you can drop the fake cheerful act. I know you're gutted Kili is leaving."  
Bilbo had been caught. "I'm gutted to be without all three of you, honestly. Look out for each other on my behalf, okay?"  
"We will, Bee. Take care of yourself, too. Don't blow out a wrist lettering those invitations or fall asleep with your hair in a candle in the middle of the night."  
Bilbo smiled, a real one this time. "I won't."

 

*****

Packs loaded onto the ponies, all that was left were the goodbyes. Bilbo hugged Fili and kissed his cheek.

"I'll be waiting for your return," Bilbo told him.  
"We'll be eager to come home," Fili replied.

The use of the word "home" did not help Bilbo's attempt at keeping dry eyes. He hugged Bofur and kissed his cheek, too.  
"I'll make sure they don't lollygag around, Bee."  
"Stay safe," Bilbo whispered.

Kili looked at Bilbo. "This is the first time I've been on this end of things with you," he said.  
A tear rolled down Kili's face and he swept Bilbo firmly into his arms.  
"I don't know how Thorin ever managed it, I really don't." Kili chuckled through his tears, but there was no joy in it. "I know I'm coming back and I still can't take it."

The last things Bilbo wanted to think of as he was facing the heartache of sending Kili on the road for a week were all the times he and Thorin said goodbye to each other, not knowing if they'd ever meet again. Already emotionally vulnerable, the sad memories made him sob like a baby in Kili's arms. A soothing hand rubbed his back in addition to Kili's. Bilbo was not making this any easier, he knew, and he tried urgently to get himself under control.

"Fee, I can't," Kili said. "I just...can't."  
Fili's voice was stern, as stern as Bilbo had heard it in a while. "Kili, you are a prince of Erebor and you have certain responsibilities. More than that, you are Mother's youngest son. You need to do this. Bilbo knows and understands. He is sad but he knows it will not be forever. The longer you stand here, though, the worse it will be for him."  
Bilbo sniffed and leaned back to look at Kili. "He's right," he said.  
He squared his shoulders, stood straight, and summoned all his will to stop crying and let Kili ride away. "I will be here when you get back. Make haste and stay safe, dear heart."  
Kili's eyes were still spilling tears but he nodded. "I will be back as soon as I am able. I love you."  
Bilbo was sucking the back of his lips to his teeth as hard as he could to avoid crying without looking like it. By some miracle, he managed to say, "I love you, too," without starting up again.

The dwarves mounted their ponies--Fili and Bofur sharing one while Kili's carried him and the majority of their supplies--and started down the road. Bilbo and Kili watched each other until Kili disappeared over the hill.

Bilbo went into the house and had himself a serious cry.

 

*****

Kili could not get Thorin out of his mind for the rest of the day. Funny, as he thought he'd spend this first part of the trip pining for Bilbo, but the ache in his heart was for Bilbo's other lover. Twice Thorin had to watch Bilbo ride away from him--still desperately in love with the hobbit--without any hope of his return. Once, Thorin had to ride away himself. All three times, the lovers parted with Thorin knowing Bilbo would sleep in Kili's arms that night even though Bilbo wore his imprint. Kili's parting from Bilbo this morning was heartbreaking and it was only for a week or so. Kili was coming back and _marrying_ him, yet it felt as though his heart had been torn. This epiphany about those past partings was making Kili nauseated and sick. All the crazy things Thorin did and said to get Bilbo back or to stay with him in Erebor made more sense to Kili now. Having an inkling of how he must have felt, Kili could not say he would have done better in his place. Thorin was so much stronger than Kili had ever known.

And Bilbo! Twice Bilbo left Thorin and once watched him leave, still loving him, because his need to be with Kili was stronger. Kili remembered the day Thorin left Beorn's and the fight he had with Bilbo that lasted days. He felt terrible now. The very least he could have done was allow Bilbo to be sad and to mourn a bit, particularly when Bilbo chose him. Three times Bilbo felt like this or worse--two times already knowing how awful it felt--and he chose Kili each time.

Kili could no longer help the tears rolling down his face. He wept for Thorin and Bilbo and what could have been for them. He wept for Thorin's broken heart and for Bilbo's, too. When his tears subsided, he knew in his soul that Bilbo was truly his, blood to bones, in a way Kili had never understood before. It strengthened his resolve to help him endure this separation, but it also made him want to get home that much faster.

 

*****

Bilbo could no longer mope around the house. He was cried out, stuffy-nosed, and the day was no longer young. He decided it would be a good time to write out wedding invitations. A folded note with his name on it was sitting at his writing desk. He opened it and held his hand to his mouth while he read.

_"My Jewel,_

_I've been thinking about what you told me, about how my following you changed the outcome of the battle. Since that day in Lake Town, I have been certain about my heart. Finding out that you and I were somehow fated to be has made me love you more than ever._

_I know you are going to, but I must ask you to please not cry while I'm gone. When you miss me, remember one day soon, I am going to be Kili Baggins of Bagshot Row and we are going to be ridiculously happy._

_I miss you already._

_Love,_  
 _Kili_  
 _1 of 3"_

"Confounded dwarf," Bilbo said to himself, weeping. "If he did not want me to cry, he should not have written me this letter."

Bilbo supposed "1 of 3" meant there were two other notes left to find. He had a compulsion to search the entire hole for them, but Kili was not even a full day gone yet. He supposed that he would find them when he found them and it would ease the loneliness.

 

*****

Kili lay awake in his bedroll and tried to recall the last time he had to sleep without a warm hobbit next to him. During the siege, maybe? He could still remember the ache he felt, particularly in Lake Town when the two of them had not yet decided to carry on their secret affair. He was lonely tonight, but this time Bilbo was not down the hall with his intended. Bilbo was lonely in their bed, in their home, with a delicate ring of mithril on his finger, probably thinking about their wedding. Kili still ached, but it was much sweeter this time around.

He idly wondered how many of the notes Bilbo had found yet.

 

*****

Bilbo dreaded going to bed. He had not slept a night without Kili since before the battle. During the days of their last big fight, they still slept in the same bed even when they barely spoke. In fact, other than the time in the Elvenking's dungeons and Kili's scout trip out of Lake Town, he had not slept a single night with Kili more than 30 paces away for well over a year. Wasn't that odd, now?

He found another note folded on his pillow and his heart beat faster. He could not help smiling. When did Kili have the time for this?

" _"My Dear Mister Baggins,_

_I'm taking my bag on the road with me so a piece of you is next to my heart while we are apart. That was why I started it to begin with, and it is fitting the bag shall have its last wearing this way. When I come back home, I want to hang it somewhere special to us because I've decided I will wear it no longer. There will be no need to cling to bits and pieces of you anymore. I will be married to all of you and I never plan to leave you again._

_All my devotion,_  
 _Kili_  
 _3 of 3"_

Bilbo clutched the note to his chest and wept a little more before climbing into bed and cradling the pillow that smelled the most like Kili. As he dropped off to sleep, he wondered where the third note was hidden.


	4. Everybody Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo deals with temporary life without Kili. Kili deals with Dís.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo haters and reformed Bilbo haters: Dís is for you :D

Bilbo woke to daylight, alone in his bed.

"You aren't going to cry today, Bilbo my lad," he said out loud. "Kili and Fili managed to get to Bag End from Ered Luin by themselves before you met them, after all. This time, they have a year's worth of hard road experience and Bo with them to boot. No sense in squalling like an infant just because Kili has gone for a few days."

He left the bed to dress and continued thinking positive thoughts. After all, he had not had a day all to himself in months. He could make the best of the situation, doing some of his favorite things he used to do before the wizard came. He had writing to do and arrangements to make, anyway. He could use the time productively. In fact, a bit of solitude might do him some good.

He took a deep breath, feeling a bit better after his own little pep talk. He walked down the hall to make some breakfast, attempting to ignore how empty his house seemed.

 

*****

"Kee?" Fili said, shaking his brother's shoulder.  
Kili rolled over with eyes squinting in the sunlight. _Oh, that's right_ , he thought.  
He sat up, back aching somewhat. He hadn't realized how much nicer it was to sleep on the ground when one had a partner.  
"Is it morning already?" Kili said.  
"You should have something to eat before we set out."  
"Why didn't you wake me for last watch?"  
Fili gave Kili a sympathetic look. "I thought after your day yesterday and your bit of an, um, episode that you probably needed the extra sleep."  
Kili scowled. "I'm not so very tender. It is not as thought I'm going to break into pieces. A lot of things hit me at once, that's all."  
"How are you today, for that matter?" Fili asked.  
"Better. I'm ready to be home already, but I will endure."  
"He loves you so much, Kee."  
"Yes," Kili smiled, feeling warm inside. "I know."

 

*****

Bilbo answered a ring at the door and saw Holman and Hamfast on his doorstep.  
"We're here to do some work, if the time is okay with you," Holman said.  
Bilbo replied, "Yes, yes, good. That is fine by me."

Holman sent Hamfast out to the side garden but lingered a moment. Bilbo cocked his head, trying to figure out why the gardener was fidgeting on his doorstep.

Holman took off his sun hat and pinched the brim nervously as he spoke. "I'm...I'm sure sorry about your dwarves, Mister Bilbo."  
"Sorry? Whatever for?" Bilbo asked.  
"Well, it is common talk that they packed up, took the ponies, and left yesterday afternoon. I know you were real fond of them, seeing as you were going to marry one and all," Holman explained.  
"Oh, sweet Yavanna! They didn't _leave me_ leave me. The princes are visiting their mother in Ered Luin to personally deliver an invitation to the wedding and see her after their dangerous journey. They are coming back," Bilbo said exasperatedly.  
"Oh!" Holman said, brightening. "That's quite different, then. Well, good on you! I feel much better about it, now. I'll be in the garden if you need me!"  
"Thank you," Bilbo said absently, closing the door.

While Bilbo found it considerate that Holman would be upset on his behalf, the fact that the gossips in town thought the dwarves ran off and left Bilbo already made his face hot with embarrassment. He tamped it down and went on with his day.

 

*****

A couple more days away increased Kili's emptiness. It was not simply the absence of sex and cuddles, although those were quite missed. Bilbo had become an important part of Kili's daily life. These long leagues on the road were especially tedious without him. He envied that Fili had Bofur here, particularly on days like today when they picked wildflowers at lunch to plait in each other's hair. He did not begrudge them, though. Fili spent months listening to Kili yearn and helping him plot while ignoring his own want for romance. How many nights at Beorn's did Fili sleep alone while Kili shared a bed with Bilbo? He was truly happy for Fili. Bofur was a good dwarf, one whom he greatly respected, and Kili was happy to have him for a brother.

Kili sighed. He _really_ missed Bilbo.

 

*****

Lobelia Sackville-Baggins (BIlbo's cousin by recent marriage) was at the door the next time the bell sounded.  
"Well, aren't you going to invite me in?" she said impatiently.  
"Of course," he said, trying not to sound too suspicious. "What brings you over this way?"  
"I started over here because I heard our cousin Bilbo was home after a mysterious absence. We heard you were back and marrying a male dwarf--I told Otho I had to see it for myself to believe it! Halfway here, I found out the scoundrel has already up and left you. That's what you get, consorting with folk who are not your own," she wagged a finger at him.  
"I do apologize for running off without word. I was told you all thought I was dead, which had to be dreadful news for _some_ of my relations. Yes, I am marrying a dwarf, he is a _he_ , and he is visiting his mother--the Princess of Erebor--as she prepares to leave Ered Luin for the East. He will be back by September."

The rumors being false surprised Lobelia, though she should have known better. She was going to have to find another way to get to her point.

"And the two of you shall live here? In this big place?" she asked.  
"What of it?"  
Lobelia tried to make herself sound sweet and compassionate. "I always thought it was a bit of a waste, you know, you staying here as a bachelor all alone when you could put your energy in a smaller space and let someone else have this one. Someone who is young, who shall have children to fill the rooms, and who could make proper use of it. You and a husband would only be slightly better than you alone. When they thought you had perished, the only joy to be found in it was that Bag End would be finally pass to someone who could truly make it a _home_."

Bilbo suspected as much when Lobelia showed up at his door. She married his cousin, Otho, who was his next nearest relative. Without a will, Bag End would have likely passed to him--and his new wife, Lobelia.

Bilbo bristled at her words. "You _are_ young, Lobelia, too young to be making grand sweeping statements about the 'shoulds' and 'should nots' of life. Were I a different person--more like you--perhaps I would say that you married entirely too young and have no business at all being a wife or a mother yet."

Lobelia started, so taken aback that her mouth was moving in words that her throat was unable to push out. Bilbo held up a hand to stop her before she started.

"This already _is_ a home. Just because I'm not having children does not mean I am not entitled to the property my parents left me, nor to love and a happy life, no more than your plan to have children means the world is supposed to ensure that you have those things instead of me. Yes, I am older but I am not yet elderly. Old Took lived well past 100. To be glad of a relative's death because you want their home...the _very thought_ , Lobelia! Are you going to begrudge me half my life simply because you want to live in my father's home?"  
Lobelia felt as though she would cry. This had all gone terribly wrong. "No! No, of course not, I-"  
"Lobelia, I would not leave Bag End to you and Otho, not now, and not even should I live to 100 and Kili left immediately for the mountain. By then, the two of you would be well past middle age yourself. By your own definition, it should go to someone young, perhaps just beginning their life. If you feel that strongly about it, and Kili does not want it, perhaps that is what I shall do when I die a natural death."

 _Drat Bilbo!_ Lobelia thought. He was clever with words and making her sound like she said things she did not mean.

"But you aren't!" she cried. "You're going to leave it to a dwarf! What does a dwarf want with Bag End?"  
"That will be Kili's decision," Bilbo said gently.

Lobelia was young, still far too young to wed in Bilbo's mind, and a Bracegirdle besides. Bilbo knew she was not a bad person at heart. She was merely immature and ignorant in the ways of the world. She spoke casually of his disappearance because she had not been touched by the death of those nearest to her to know the finality and the pain of such things. She understood nothing of the world beyond the Shire, not being a fan of books. What she knew in her life was getting what she wanted and getting her way. Well, she was not getting Bag End in any case, and insulting both Bilbo and Kili was no way to effect a change in that regard. Bilbo did not wish to reward her petulant behavior, but he also had no desire to spend the next fifty years having this same argument and avoiding her at the doorbell.

"I have something to show you."

Bilbo disappeared for several moments. He returned holding opposite ends of a grand necklace. Intricate gold chain met in the middle at a looping web of filigree punctuated with rubies and diamonds at each juncture. The top set of loops counted six wide, reducing down to a single drop at the bottom of the progression. Lobelia's eyes went huge. She reached out a hand, but froze its movement in mid-air.

Bilbo smiled wide at her look of wonder. "Go ahead. You can touch."  
She brushed her fingers over it. "That is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."  
Bilbo nodded. "Made by the dwarves of Erebor a very long time ago. It was pulled from the hoard of Smaug The Tremendous by Prince Fili himself."  
He watched her eyes glitter to rival the diamonds.  
"And it is yours."  
Lobelia caught her breath in surprise.  
"But," Bilbo pulled it closer to his chest for a moment, "I do not want to hear another word about ownership of Bag End, to whom the spoons and silver belong, or any nonsense implying that I cannot do with my inheritance any damn thing I please."  
Lobelia met his eyes and swallowed. "I am sorry, Bilbo. I just-"  
"Apology accepted," Bilbo said, mercifully sparing her the awkward explanation.  
Bilbo handed her the necklace. She trembled as she accepted it.  
Said Bilbo, "Given its raw value coupled with its age and origins, you could probably buy a grand smial with it, possibly two...but never this one. Do you follow me?"  
"I understand." She threw her arms around him. "Oh, Bilbo, I think I have misjudged you for a long time," Lobelia said.  
"Well, you wouldn't be the first," he said, patting her lightly on the back.

 

*****

"It certainly is weird, not having our hobbit around," Fili whispered to Bofur.  
"Aye, I miss him something fierce. Not as fierce as Kee, I'd wager," Bofur replied.  
"But close," Fili said.

 

*****

The travelers from Erebor grew more excited every day to be on the road for pleasure for a change. They were eager to see their friends and have a huge party at journey's end. Thorin's presence made it awkward for them to express their excitement, though. Not a single person of their number was lost to the fact that Thorin was mourning the very thing they were celebrating. For his part, Thorin understood his sadness was the exception in this otherwise merry group. He spent much of their meal and resting times off on his own, within reasonable distance for safety.

Bifur watched him walk away one such evening when they camped for the night.

_"His melancholy makes me wonder why he chose to come?"_ Bifur wondered aloud.  
"Perhaps he needed to see it with his own eyes to believe it," Oin said. "He surely loved that hobbit."

Bifur nodded. No one doubted it after Lake Town, and he had suspected it sooner than that.

"And Kili," Dwalin added, startling Bifur and Oin. They would not have started talking about Thorin had they known Dwalin was close.  
Dwalin continued, "He loves Kili, too. I can't say I know his heart, but I believe he is torn. Never speaking to either of them again is out of the question, so he perhaps he thinks he must honor their union even if he does not approve. Personally, I think it is a bad idea all around. I think any of his wounds that have managed to knit closed, however loosely, are going to be ripped wide."

Oin and Bifur were each surprised to hear Dwalin speak so candidly about Thorin.

_"Let us hope that is not the case, then,"_ Bifur said.  
Oin nodded sagely. "He may yet surprise us all."

 _That is my concern,_ Dwalin thought.

 

*****

Dís answered her door and nearly fell down in shock. She was quite soon steadied by two arms full of her sons. Happy tears of relief fell down her cheeks.

"I knew you were safe but nothing can replace seeing it with my own eyes!" she said.

Kili hugged her tightly, realizing why Fili was so insistent he come. He couldn't imagine how it would have wounded her for Fili to explain Kili didn't make the trip. Yes, this had been the right thing to do.

Several moments of hugs, kisses, and repeated endearments passed before Fili remembered Bofur.

"I would like you to meet Bofur," Fili said proudly. "He is my suitor."  
Dís looked him over, appraising. "So you have written. I believe I've seen him before!"

As it happened, Dís and Bofur were not acquaintances but had recognized each other from passing over the years. Bofur made every attempt to be his most gallant and charming throughout the small-chat of their introduction. He need not have worried; she liked him from the start.

"I know I am not titled or noble-born," Bofur said, self conscious that Dís remembered him from his mining days. He hoped she would not share his own early doubts that his head did not belong on the pillow of a prince.  
Dís quieted him immediately. "And Thorin worked as a blacksmith for years to support this family. It is not what you do, but who you are inside that matters. I only know a tiny smattering of what you endured to be able to stand here in front of me now, but I daresay your heart is noble even if your blood is not."

She looked back at her boys, beaming with happiness.  
"I think it is time for me to feed you all and learn more while I'm at it. Oh, I'm so happy my sons are here!"

She seized Kili's hands and brought them to her face to kiss them. A glint of mithril caught her attention. She held Kili's hand closer for inspection. The ring was of Elvish make and had a rather dubious placement.

"What is this?" she asked.  
"Mam, I have some things to explain to you," Kili said.

Dís sighed. She was pretty sure this conversation would begin and end with that hobbit. "Food first."

 

*****

Letter 2 of 3 was found in the pantry on the floor. Bilbo must have dropped it making dinner that first night and not noticed.

_"Lover Mine,_

_I still smell you on my skin. I hate it when you cry, but the love you gave me last night will fuel my daydreams long after I arrive back home again._

_Home. I confess I continue to get gooseflesh whenever you use words like 'us,' 'ours,' and 'we,' but the word 'home' has been putting the most glorious ache in my chest lately like nothing else. I dwelled in the Blue Mountains for decades but I was raised to believe it wasn't where I belonged, that Fili and I were displaced. Going by the way he talked from our youngest days, I think Thorin planned a return to Erebor long before he met Gandalf with the key. The night I met you, I remembered thinking, 'Here. I could live here.' Later, Erebor did not seem to me like the home we were raised to believe it was, either. It was empty and cold._

_I've never felt the surety of home until I met you. Home is where you are, and if it is Bag End, that suits me very well, indeed._

_Missing you, I am sure._

_Love,_  
_Kili_  
_2 of 3"_

"Then come home to me," Bilbo whispered to the letter.

 

*****

Dís was not unintelligent, but trying to make sense of Kili's story of how he came to be betrothed was making her dizzy. Thorin had sent her vague letters which did not seem to match up to the explanation Kili was offering.

"Kili, you carried silent feelings for Bilbo up through the time you stopped at this shapechanger's house...what was his name again?"  
"Beorn."  
"-Beorn's for the first time. Yet you said nothing because you weren't sure if he fancied you? That is not very much like you."  
"But Thorin-" Kili protested.  
Dís cut him off. "Thorin was worried about your mind straying from your duty, but you decided at Beorn's that you would attempt to woo Bilbo anyway. What changed your mind?"  
"I couldn't contain the way I felt indefinitely. I figured if he returned my feelings--if I had a chance--we could find some way to pursue things without getting in Thorin's way."  
Dís replied, "Yet it was not until Lake Town that you finally got the proof you needed, and by then Bilbo was betrothed to Thorin."  
Kili glanced down at the floor. "Yes."  
"Why did you not let it go?"  
"Because Thorin did everything he told me not to do. It was by behaving the way I thought Thorin wanted me to behave that I missed my chance! Also, Bilbo loved me, too."  
"You and Bilbo confessed your love for one another while he was engaged to Thorin, is that right?"  
"Yes," Kili replied.  
"But Bilbo was still going to marry him and not court you, is that right as well?"  
"Yes," Kili answered again. It sounded so sordid when she said it.  
"Well, we're coming to the part I know more about, now. Thorin wrote me that he had planned to marry Bilbo but you interrupted their courtship."  
"That isn't _quite_ the way it happened," Kili said.  
"Okay, tell me your version."

Kili explained that he and Bilbo had planned to remain friends and how much it ached for them to be near each other. Fili jumped in and made sure to point out that Bilbo would not leave the mountain several times when he had the chance because he cared too much for Thorin to leave him to the madness. Fili talked about how they spent more time together in their trio and quartet (with Bofur added) while Thorin grew more and more detached. He recounted Bilbo's goodbyes before he went to Bard's camp with the gem and proudly pointed out that Bilbo not only chose to go, thinking he would be taken prisoner, but also chose to return when offered safety because he belonged with Thorin.

"Nasty business with that stone. I must say I am suspicious of why Bilbo would think to take it in the first place, before my brother even saw the treasury. He used it to a noble end, though, and I cannot fault him for that. I was very young when the dragon sickness took our grandfather, but the stories stayed with me." She looked off blankly for a moment before returning to the subject. "Returning to the mountain, that is when Thorin banished him for trading the stone?"  
"Not just banished, Mother," Kili said.  
"He attempted to kill him," Fili said so his brother would not have to.  
Dís was horrified. "Kill him? Surely you exaggerate!"  
"He was going to throw him over the wall and smash him against the rocks below," Fili told her. "He said 'Today you will meet your end.' His intentions were painfully clear."  
Dís frowned. "Thorin left that part out."

There was silence as Dís was absorbing this new information.

She said, "Bilbo was banished, Kili followed him, and Fili, you went after him as well. Thorin, having ended the relationship, gave Kili the opportunity to make his own intentions known?"  
"Something like that,' Kili mumbled.  
"'Something like that,' indeed," Dís said knowingly. "Please continue."

Kili told her how Bilbo asked him to the Shire but made clear he was not over Thorin. Fili mentioned Thorin's attempts to woo Bilbo back, rather satisfied by the look of shock when he got to the part where Thorin was going to buy the Shire. They both explained about how happy they were to be at Beorn's and how Bilbo and Kili seemed to grow closer every day. Fili delicately mentioned Thorin's odd intervention with Tomas and his men as well as the trip back to Erebor. Kili shared how Thorin wished for Bilbo to come back to him and how Bilbo stood by his wish to stay with Kili. He talked about Thorin asking them to remain in Erebor together, their decline of the invitation, and how Thorin and Kili seemed to even mend some of their hurt feelings. Kili walked her up through their stay in Rivendell, the rings, and planning the wedding.

Dís pressed her fingers firmly to her temples.  
"So, let me try to cut through the craziness and all the extra bits and boil this down to something more easily chewed. What is going on here is that you are planning to marry your uncle's former intended, who knew he loved you yet promised Thorin he would marry him? Who took up with you nearly immediately following a harrowing end of his former relationship? Who kept in touch with and even assented to visit my brother after breaking his heart? So now you, Fili, his suitor, and your hobbit are all going to live as hobbits in the Shire instead of as royalty in the mountain that you all faced death to reclaim?"  
Kili cringed at how it sounded, but nevertheless, he said, "Yes."  
"Kili, I do not think I like this hobbit of yours very much. He was leading you on while whispering love to Thorin and strung Thorin along after he decided to be with you. At worst, he seems false and a bit of a sneak. At best, he sounds grossly immature. You do not need two immature partners in your relationship-- _one_ of you needs to be grounded."  
Fili jumped in. "Mam, you don't know him as we do! He risked his life for us time and time again. The bit with Thorin _is_ regrettable, but there is such nobility within Bilbo! He did not have to come on this journey, but he did. He did not have to save us repeatedly, but he did. He got terribly sick after rescuing us from the Greenwood elves because we were his only care. He was going to give up all his treasure to save us from starvation during the siege. I know the story _sounds_ bad, but believe me...Bilbo will do Kili such honor as his mate."  
Dís fixed a studious eye on Fili. "Are you sure you are not besotted with him as well? Clearly something about this Bilbo Baggins bewitches the House of Durin. Have you escaped it?"

Fili swallowed uncomfortably, thinking of all the pleasure he had derived from listening to or watching Bilbo have sex. He willed down a blush.

"Bilbo is my chosen brother, bonded in battle, and soon joined by marriage. I love him as kin," Fili said.

Seemingly satisfied, Dís sighed. She shifted her gaze to Bofur, who had deemed it wise to stay out of family affairs for the time being.

"What of you, Bofur? Are you and I the only two in the room with sense?" Dís asked.

Bofur smiled sheepishly. He did not want to offend Fili's mother and the Princess of Erebor to boot, but he had to speak truly.

"I've written ballads of his deeds and spread them across the land. I count him as one of the closest friends I've had in a lifetime. I am afraid that I am as taken with him as the rest, m'lady."  
"I suppose I will have to meet this Bilbo Baggins, then. It is with reservations that I give my blessing to your marriage, son."  
"Begging your pardon, Mam, but I've faced banishment, Thorin's wrath, the potential of Thorin's blade, was willing to meet a dragon, and have been ready to die for Bilbo. I would stay with him in the face of your disapproval with a heavy heart, but stay with him I absolutely would."  
Dís nodded, deep in thought. "I've rarely seen you so resolute, and even more rarely have I seen you stay on a course of any matter that caused hurt to your family. I have no doubt you love him very much, but my affections will not be guaranteed just because I am your relation."  
"Understood," Kili said.

 

*****

Bilbo was not blind to the sad looks, the head shakes, and the "tsk-ing" of the neighbors as he ran wedding errands. He had uncomfortable discussions with his vendors, all of whom were happy for the deposits he had provided but were not sure if the work actually needed done. Bilbo lost track of how many times he pinched the bridge of his nose and insisted, "They are coming back!"

"Please let them come back," he muttered to himself after a particularly trying conversation with the cakers. "I shall have to permanently relocate to Rivendell if they don't!"

Whispers of the other hobbits aside, Bilbo did not enjoy this time alone. He tried to make himself think he could go back to his old life for a few days, but the truth was he could not. It was unbearable to him now. How had he ever lived like this? By not knowing what he was missing, that was how. Even preparing for the visitors and upcoming wedding did not fill the hole in his life that was shaped like Kili (and Fili and Bofur). He hated Kili being gone, but it made him appreciate more than ever the day that Kili would return.

Bilbo had said it before as a grand romantic statement but he had now experienced first-hand the very real truth: he had no desire to live a life without Kili. The humiliation if Kili was not to return would have sent him to Rivendell, but the heartbreak would have reduced him to ashes being scattered over a field. He surely would end himself.

 

*****

Once the tangled matters of Kili and Thorin's romantic trials were (somewhat) unraveled, the trio told Dis the fuller tale from beginning to end. She continually clasped her hand to her mouth, as though she was not sure the boys were going to make it out of the next scrape--though they were sitting directly in front of her as proof they had. Several times, she cursed aloud at Thorin for putting them into those situations at all. She shot Fili and Kili several stern motherly looks, too. Hearing of Bilbo's courage, bravery, and sometimes outright blind foolishness in the name of helping those he loved seemed to somewhat soften her irritation toward him, though she did not praise him outright.

The dwarves did not have long to stay in Ered Luin. They asked Dis to return to Hobbiton with them and stay until the wedding.

"I knew you would be close but did not realize there would be a marriage to witness," she explained. "I was planning to pack and move house to Erebor before the first snow. I shall come with a caravan through the Shire as I had originally planned, stay for the wedding, and travel back to Erebor with your wedding guests. I will have to be ready sooner than planned, which is possible, but there is no way I could be ready by morning."  
"But you will come?" Kili asked.  
Replied Dis, "Yes, I will be there."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You do not know how much I love seeing familar names popping up in the kudos again. So glad you've joined me here. 
> 
> Thank you, friends! <3 <3 <3 I


	5. Interlude:  Ain't It Funny How The Night Moves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo, Kili, and Thorin do some reflecting in the middle of the night.

After over a week of Kili being gone, the slightest noise in Bag End would have Bilbo excitedly glancing at the door. He got up in the middle of the night because the house settling sounded a bit like the door creaking. Worry still gnawed his gut that his dwarrows might not be safe, but he tried to be confident they would return in one piece.

Awake now, he recalled another time waiting anxiously for Kili back in Lake Town. Kili leaving with Fili to scout up the river led to one of Bilbo's earliest realizations that keeping their feelings buried was going to be difficult, if not impossible. He smiled to himself as he remembered being so relieved Kili had come back safely that he completely overlooked the obvious, embarrassing issue that he had been skulking around in Kili's room while he was gone. Recalling the subsequent kiss made the hair on his feet stand up. It was only their third and it was to _supposed_ be their last. Nothing was tentative about either of them in those precious moments. Bilbo wanted him so badly afterwards, he had to stroke himself off. How did he not see it? It was funny how time could make things so clear. No wonder Fili was irritated! Fili realized better than the both of them put together what was happening between them.

Bilbo wished he could go back and tell the Lake Town version of Kili things would all work out for him in the end, maybe tell Bilbo he was holding on to the wrong dwarf. Would Bilbo have taken it back, though? He loved Thorin back then or he would have never gone to bed with him. If he could do it again, would he give up those nights spent together, consuming each other? The kisses and the whispers? That last night in Lake Town or the time on the hoard before Thorin's mind succumbed? As much as he wanted to live his life out with Kili, Bilbo was not sure he would take any of those moments back.

Bilbo idly wondered what would have happened had he spoken to Thorin sooner. What would have become of him? Of Kili? Would they have been beaten? Sent away? Worse? Bilbo regretted hurting Thorin at least once every day, but how could he have fixed it? By staying with him? What of Elrond's vision? Bilbo shuddered. Things unfolded as they needed to, he supposed. He would far rather Thorin's heart ache than his life be lost.

Bilbo took his eyes off the door and wandered back to bed, but still he waited for his dwarf to return home.

 

*****

Kili sat up on watch, thinking of Bilbo. The hobbit was doubtlessly in their bed, naked but for a sheet for the weather had been warm. He wondered if Bilbo was touching himself while Kili was gone. He thought of him stroking his cock, tongue sliding out to wet his lips as he breathed deeply through his nose. Perhaps he would reach down and cup his stones, or maybe stroke his thigh. As Bilbo got into it, Kili pictured him speeding up and his mouth falling open. He would start gasping his breaths and whimpering sweet moans. Kili could see just how BIlbo stretched his lovely neck, pressing his skull to the pillow as his body arched. Kili could almost hear those last few moments before Bilbo let go in the sharp breaths he would take, then he would--

"Kee?" Fili said.  
Kili nearly fell over.  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," Fili said.  
Kili was glad he wasn't masturbating, because he had honestly been considering it.  
He said, "I-I thought you were sleeping."  
"Bo is out cold but I could not quite get comfortable. My dinner isn't settling well or something."  
"There wasn't much to it, that is probably half the problem. Well, you are welcome to sit with me."  
"I could sit up for you and let you rest," Fili offered.  
"No, I'm awake and I've got too many thoughts in my head besides."  
"They've all got Bilbo's name on them, I'll bet."  
"Mostly," Kili said with a grin.

The brothers sat in silence for a while, Kili watching the fire while Fili leaned back to gaze at the sky.

"Do you think he'll be at the wedding? Thorin, I mean?" Kili asked.  
Fili made a noncommittal noise. "Common sense says no, but history says otherwise. Do you want him there?"  
"Yes and no. I want to see him again. I want to tell him I understand things more clearly now and how sorry I am. I want to eat a dinner with you, Mam, and Thorin again. I want to show him that I'm happy in the Shire, happy in a way that a king could not be. Some of me wants him to see how happy Bilbo is, too. How good we are together. I know that is probably cruel, isn't it?"  
"A little cruel, but maybe if he could see and understand, it would make it easier for him. Bo seems to think so, at any rate. So, those are the 'yes' reasons. What about the 'no?'"  
"I don't want him to hurt. I don't want him to have to watch it all happen and realize there is nothing he can do for it. I was almost him, Fee."  
"No, you weren't. For a while I was not sure how far Bilbo would push it with Thorin before he had to walk away, but there was definitely a time when I saw in Bilbo's face that he could not marry unless it was you. As time went on, I became more sure every day. Bilbo was never going to marry Thorin in your place, not while you still drew breath."  
Kili smiled in spite of himself a moment before going back to the subject. "I thought he was, though. I know very intimately the fear of thinking one will have to watch one's love marry another. There are also Bilbo's feelings to consider. It would have to be pretty uncomfortable to have one's former lover at one's wedding, you know?"  
"Are you afraid Bilbo will feel the pull of their bond? Trip and fall on Thorin's lips?" Fili joked.  
Kili snuffled a giggle. "No," he said, nudging Fili unnecessarily hard. "Bilbo is mine completely. I've never been more sure of our bond."  
"Is that why you've been leaving your door open when you're in bed?" Fili said quietly.  
Kili paused for a moment. "We told you we like to be watched, Fee."  
"We did not know if that evening was a one-off thing," Fili said.  
"Perhaps not always to that extent, but if the door is open, consider yourselves welcome to look."  
"What about...touch?" Fili asked carefully.  
Kili looked at Fili. "That's, uh, quite different. I did not think it was a typical dwarf trait to want to share lovers. Quite the opposite, really," he said, testing the subject to see if he was alone in his desires.  
"But you share yours. You let us watch, you let him suck my fingers...I-nevermind. I suppose I misunderstood."  
"No, I do not think you did. Our bond is for us, but I like it when Bilbo feels pleasure. It also does--fuck, this is embarrassing."  
"Kee, I've licked your finger so you could push it in his arse. I think we're past embarrassing by now," Fili said acerbically.  
"I like being in control, showing other people that although they can have bits of him, I am the one who gets it all. I'm the one who gets him every night, I'm the one who knows every button to push, and I'm the one who will be wearing his name. That is why I like to be watched. I like to show off, I suppose."  
Fili wet his lips. "He's practically my brother, but when you two are together, I get such a compulsion to touch him. I want to find out what sounds I could get him to make," he confessed. "I don't want to take him from you, but if he would allow it, I would touch. I don't have to tell you that Bo would, too."  
"I would let you if Bilbo would allow it. I would let both of you loose on him while I claimed him, but Bilbo is firm that it should not happen."  
"What? Why?" Fili thought sure Bilbo had given him a few hungry looks that night, and he knew Bilbo wanted Bofur.  
"He doesn't want to share _me_."  
"We're already watching you, though?"  
"Bilbo has been my only lover and he wishes to keep it that way. He's very possessive. He says it would be unfair if he got to play but I didn't, so he wants to keep it as it is. He likes the looking but very little touching."  
"That is disappointing to say the least," Fili said, having gotten his hopes up for a moment.  
"Yes, but there's still plenty of fun to be had. Bilbo loves playing the part of the prick-tease."  
Fili stifled a laugh so as not to wake Bofur.

 

*****

Thorin lay in his bedroll, gazing at the stars. He thought once again that perhaps this was a mistake. Everyone save for possibly Dwalin was having a good time anticipating the greater times to come, and even Dwalin was looking forward to Dis and cake (not necessarily in that order). Then there was him. Never had there been a more unwilling wedding guest. Bilbo and Kili had asked him, though, and that meant in some way it was important to them--that _he_ was important to them. It was hard for him to deny Kili and Bilbo much of anything when asked, whether it would hurt or not. How was he going to bear it, though? That was but one of the questions swirling around his mind tonight.

He sighed and wished he could have brought Balin with him for discussions like these. For Thorin to leave, he had to appoint both Balin and Dain as co-stewards in his absence. It was a little tricky leaving Erebor at all, truthfully. Was watching Bilbo and Kili break his heart once and for all worth potentially toppling a whole kingdom? Or was it the tiniest hint of a chance that he and Bilbo weren't finished the thing for which he was tempting fate? He tried not to think about that. It was not productive, it was not likely, and it was certainly not healthy. Yet...

Bilbo would no doubt be as handsome as ever. Thorin wondered if he still had the gloriously longer hair. He imagined their eyes would meet (Bilbo loved his eyes), Thorin would smile ("should be illegal," Bilbo had said), and the weeks of missing each other would guide Bilbo into his arms. Kisses would perhaps lead to caresses, caresses to nudity, and once Thorin so much as had Bilbo's shirt off, that would be all they needed to melt into one another again.

Thorin had to bite on his own tongue to jar himself back from his imagination. It was fruitless thinking, he knew, but it was seeded in small truths. He was there for the support of the people he loved and because needed to see this marriage for his own good, but if Bilbo saw _him_ , if Bilbo directed _his_ smile at Thorin coupled with those bright eyes, Thorin would have a great deal of trouble maintaining his proper distance. It might be better if he could find a way to observe without being a participant and let them know after the fact that he did not miss their special day. They would understand later why he could not make himself known at the time. Then perhaps, hopefully, Thorin could find a peace that would help him move forward without this ache.

He tried to chase away the impossible fantasy where, at the last minute, Bilbo marries him in the Shire instead of Kili, but it persistently came back later as a dream.

 

*****

Nori was fidgety on watch duty. He stood and wandered around camp as the rest of the dwarrows slept. He glanced at Thorin and had to look twice. For the first time Nori could remember in days, Thorin was smiling. _Grinning_ , actually.

"Wonder what he's dreaming about, then?" Nori wondered to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title courtesy of Bob Seger--
> 
> "I awoke last night to the sound of thunder  
> How far off I sat and wondered  
> Started humming a song from 1962  
> Ain't it funny how the night moves  
> When you just don't seem to have as much to lose  
> Strange how the night moves  
> With autumn closing in"


	6. Reunions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo's dwarves return home and Erebor's dwarves arrive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leading up to the wedding, I'll be dipping into Bilbo & Frodo's birthday party text from LOTR. I lifted the dwarves' arrival from it this time.

Bilbo spent the afternoon out making requests for provisions and party luxuries from not only Hobbiton, but Bywater and other neighborhoods as well. He was doing his best to ignore the tongue-clicking still going on in Kili’s absence. He trudged back toward home feeling soul-sick, too hot, and generally fed up with being awake for the day. It was getting tough staying strong with Kili gone and he had less and less interest in each subsequent day. If he was not so numb, it might have startled him that he could not care less if he was in bed by the middle of the afternoon, sleepy or not.

He saw Bag End in the distance but something was not quite right about it. Walking a bit faster, he could make out two ponies hitched to the gate. He broke into a run like he was being chased by a warg. Nearly stumbling in through the door, he was greeted by the sight of Fili, Bofur, and Kili at the table, having gotten into the pantry. Fili and Bofur were still dressed but Kili had clearly just bathed and was wearing Bilbo's dressing gown. Bilbo froze for a moment, lungs burning from the run and heaving deep breaths. Kili crossed the room to him. Pausing for a quick look from head to toe, he pulled Bilbo into his arms and kissed him. Bilbo opened his mouth to take more of Kili in, noting with faint amusement that Kili had been raiding the strawberries shortly before Bilbo came home. In an instant, BIlbo's feet were no longer on the ground and they were moving down the hall to the bedroom. Kili paused from kissing him only as long as it took to swoop him up. 

Fili grinned at Bofur. "See? It was worth waiting to bathe."  
"Aye, you are a genius. Let's get the ponies boarded and give them a little privacy. We'll come back for a little affection of our own."  
"I _have_ missed that bed," Fili agreed.

*****

Kili put Bilbo on his feet next to the bed and undressed him silently. Bilbo did not have to do much aside from remove the tie from the dressing gown to get Kili bare. Kili cradled Bilbo's jaw with a gentle, trembling hand, kissing him tenderly while backing him into the bed. Bilbo scooted back onto it and Kili followed. Bilbo smoothed hands over Kili's back, feeling him warm and solid after nights of nothing more corporeal than memories.

After a further exploration of Bilbo's mouth, Kili gazed down at him. He did not speak, but his eyes gave Bilbo more than words could. Kili nudged Bilbo's hair out of his face, caressing over his cheekbones and lips. When Bilbo closed his eyes, he felt the lightest touch over his lids. Fingers were replaced with the sweet press of lips that trailed across his eyes, down his cheeks, and to his throat. Bilbo expected Kili to claim his neck again, but his attentions were maddeningly gentle.

Kili kissed Bilbo's torso, pausing for a moment to flick a tongue over his nipple. Bilbo stretched out underneath him and Kili found everything about it erotic. After days apart, Kili had a special appreciation for the rise and fall of Bilbo's breathing, the pulse in his neck, and the twitch of the muscles in his abdomen under Kili's hands. He did not have words beautiful or meaningful enough to tell Bilbo how he hated them being apart, how he missed him, how he _loved_ him...he used his mouth instead to worship Bilbo with kisses, hoping they would convey what he needed to tell him. 

Kili backed up on his knees to dip his fingers in the oil dish. Bilbo spread his legs wider when he realized what Kili was doing. Bilbo felt Kili's tongue run long strokes up and down his cock before he felt the soft press against his bottom. He sighed pleasured sounds while Kili readied him. Bilbo was grateful Kili was teasing him with licks instead of taking him in fully. It had been too long and if Kili had turned loose all his mouth's talents, Bilbo would not have lasted until the sex. Another time it might not have mattered, but today Bilbo required the closeness of finishing with Kili buried inside him, their arms wrapped around each other. 

Kili flattened himself against Bilbo's chest the moment his prick was in to its root. Although he was pent-up and eager, Kili needed the intimacy more than he needed to chase orgasm. Kissing Bilbo, Kili moved fluidly, languidly, until Bilbo was quivering under him with sweet moans and whimpers. Kili's own love sounds were breathy but deep, rising from the very core of his being. Kili may have been the one doing the claiming, but he felt the bond already flowing, renewing through his fingers and his toes. He did not realize that the bond would make him feel so empty--so _thin_ \--while they were apart. Bilbo did not warn him about that part. He felt another twinge of sadness for Thorin, but banished it quickly. The beauty of this reclaiming did not need to be haunted by Thorin's memory. 

Bilbo felt light-headed and floaty while the emotions swirled within him. The only thing keeping him grounded was the very real feeling of Kili moving within him, opening and filling him again and again. Kili's lips were on Bilbo's ear, his sweet noises close and driving Bilbo more wild by the moment. He kissed his way across BIlbo's cheek and licked the seam of Bilbo's lips, asking silently for entry. Bilbo's tongue flicked out to answer, pulling another soft groan from Kili before he pushed inside him on both ends. 

No matter how he wanted it to last, Kili reached the limit where his body would no longer be denied its long-awaited release. His breaths came quicker and he stroked faster. Bilbo grabbed him more tightly and moved with him. When Kili's moans began sounding desperate to his own ears, Bilbo reached in to pump his own cock. Kili pushed up on an arm to give him more room and his breath hitched. Bilbo was underneath him, flushed pink, stroking himself, writhing back on Kili's cock, sweating, moaning--he was a vision. 

Kili's prick had been rubbing Bilbo in the best places and was already sustaining him along the most exquisite edge before Bilbo had taken himself in hand. It did not take Bilbo long to find his finish once he touched himself. In a great rush of pleasure, days of loneliness, longing, tears, and frustration let loose by way of warm ribbons of semen across Bilbo's abdomen. He cried out Kili's name, the first actual word he had spoken since he was carried into the bedroom.

Kili fought against his orgasm, determined for Bilbo to finish first. When he felt Bilbo tighten and pulse around him, Kili was released from his sweet agony. Bilbo was not yet through his final waves when Kili finally came inside him. Kili collapsed onto Bilbo's torso for a moment, savoring those lovely final moments. He could feel Bilbo's heart pounding through his skin as Bilbo could doubtless feel his. When he trusted his legs again, he eased back and flopped on the bed beside Bilbo. He smoothed his own fringe back off his forehead. Their exertions coupled with the heat in Bilbo's room resulted in both of them covered in a fine layer of sweat. 

Kili lolled his head to the side to look at Bilbo, who happened to be looking back at him rather contentedly.

"Hi," Kili said.  
Bilbo smiled. "Hi."  
"Let's not do this separation thing again, okay?"  
Bilbo giggled.  
"No argument, here," Bilbo replied. "Though we can pretend any time you wish if the sex is going to be like this."  
It was Kili's turn to laugh. "A homecoming like that was almost worth being apart...but only almost."  
"I had to conduct a thorough check to make sure you were not injured. Seriously, though, no trouble on the road?"  
"None. Not so much as a wolf and no hint of two-legged trouble either. We kept to the trade roads, plus Fili and I knew familiar camp areas the closer we got to Mam's."  
"So, how did it go?" Bilbo asked.

Kili was silent for a moment. He wanted to spare Bilbo's feelings as much as possible, but he did not want him to be unprepared if Dis was a little frosty when they met. As he always did with Bilbo, he decided telling the truth was the best course of action. He would simply try to tell it gently.

He said, "It could have gone worse, to be sure, but I confess I had hoped it would go better. When it is spoken out loud, our story doesn't sound as meaningful and destined to be as it felt while it was unfolding."  
Bilbo felt a tendril of worry wind through his chest. "What does that mean for us?"  
"There will be no change in our plans," Kili assured him. "My mother is wary because Thorin was hurt and she thinks I may be hurt the same way. I hate to say it but she does not love you simply because I do, but I do not need her to."  
"Though I had hopes for better like you did, I could not honestly expect her to look upon this situation favorably. My romantic history is a bit complicated. Did she like Bofur at least?"  
"She adored him."  
"Of course she did," Bilbo said fondly. "So, that's it then?"  
"She's coming for the wedding. She'll stay until the group from Erebor goes back."  
"If anyone comes from Erebor. I never got a reply with who was coming."  
"You know how dwarrows are. You are hand lettering all these invitations and making formal requests and orders. Dwarrows would be just as likely to yell out a window that a party was happening if anyone wants to come."  
Bilbo rolled his eyes. "You would not."  
Kili grinned. "Okay, it is not that bad, but pretty close. 

Bilbo rolled over and grabbed a rag to wipe himself clean. He snuggled into Kili and threaded the fingers of their hands together. 

"I missed you like crazy," Kili said. "What did you do while I was away?"  
"I managed to get the cakes, tents, tables, chairs, flowers, and entertainment ordered. Most of the invitations are ready to go out. The Hobbiton and Bywater post offices will have their hands full, meanwhile mine are cramped into the shape of a pen. Oh, and I fended off the rumors and assumptions of everyone in town that you jilted me and left forever."  
Kili shifted his neck to look at Bilbo, shocked. "They said that?"  
"That and worse, depending on how much they liked me to begin with," Bilbo said bitterly.  
"You did not believe them, did you?" Kili asked.  
"No, I knew you were returning."  
Kili kissed Bilbo's hair. "That's still awful, anyway."  
"That is an understatement. I was already not doing well with us being apart when I had to deal with all that."  
"Well, they can't come to the party, then," Kili said.  
"That would put us at about zero hobbits in attendance then, including the Thain. Not all of them were gleeful about it, but the pitying looks were even worse than the smirks."  
"It will stop. I'm home now and I'd be tough-pressed to leave again any time soon, even if you came with."  
Bilbo burrowed deeper into Kili's side. "Kili, I missed you so much. I knew I would but I-I was _crushed_ by your absence."  
"I missed you desperately. I hadn't been parted from you like that since, what? Lake Town?"  
"By my estimation, yes."  
"And that time was bad enough." Kili kissed him. "We should take dinner at the Green Dragon tonight. I'll make a big fuss and drape myself over you all night so they can see how _un_ -jilted you are. That'll give those gossips in town a second thought the next time they want to talk like they know what is going on in someone's private life. Would you like that?"  
Bilbo laughed and kissed Kili back. "I would adore that."

*****

Bofur had sweet-talked the woodsmith into allowing them workshop space to build the bed they were giving Bilbo and Kili. Fili and Bofur were in the middle of an argument on the way to the mill over whether or not the wood should be oak.

"Oak would be meaningful to them because they loved that damned tree at Beorn's," Bofur explained impatiently.  
"Yes, but it might also make them think of Thorin and the last thing they need is a marriage bed to make them think of _him_ ," Fili argued.  
"Thorin?" Bofur said, puzzled. "Why Thorin?"  
Fili said, "Oak, as in _Oak_ enshield."  
Bofur shook his head. "Nah, it would be a stretch to make that assumption. You're being too sensitive."  
"We want them to have this bed for years. We don't want to start out with a bad association."  
"We'll point out it is oak like their tree and that will be the only association those goofy lovebirds will make from then on out, I swear to you. As long as you don't open that sexy mouth of yours and say something that will make them think otherwise, it will be _fine_."  
Fili sighed. "Okay, it will be oak."  
"The details will look nicer in oak, Fee. You'll see."

A section of property not far from Bag End had caught Fili's eye as they bickered. It did not appear to be owned by any active resident. It looked like someone had started building into the hill and changed their minds. Fili idly wondered how one went about buying land in the Shire...or even from whom.

*****

Days passed and September arrived. An odd-looking wagon with odd-looking packages rolled into Hobbiton one day and toiled up the hill to Bag End. Startled hobbits peered out of doors or followed a safe distance behind to gape at it. It was driven by outlandish folk singing strange songs: dwarves with long beards and deep hoods. Holman and Hamfast watched from the garden in wonder as the dwarves piled out of the wagon and approached the gate.

Ori waved, excited to meet more hobbits. "Hello! Is Bilbo Baggins at home?"  
"He is. Be you the dwarves of Erebor?" Holman asked. Bilbo told him to expect all manner of visitors for the party to come. the dwarves of Erebor most of all.  
"Our reputation precedes us, lads!" Nori said merrily.  
Laughs and cheers went up in the small company. 

Holman liked them right away, strange or not. He liked folk who were quick to laughter. 

"Do you want me to fetch him for you?" Holman asked.

Bag End's door opened. 

"What is going on out here?" Bilbo said, his eyes landing on the dwarves and growing round in surprise.  
"Seems there is no need," Oin said to Holman.  
"Bless me!" Bilbo cried. He leaned into the house. "Fili! Kili! Bofur! We have glad company!"

Bilbo rushed out for hugs, forehead presses, and dodged a couple headbutts that would likely have put him out cold for several minutes. Dwalin gave him a warm, if not somewhat awkward, handshake. It seemed his warning to Thorin about Dwalin's attendance had an effect. _Thorin_. He looked among them for a familiar pair of blue eyes, carrying more butterflies in his stomach than dwelt in the trees above Mirkwood. He counted Ori, Oin, Bifur, Nori, Dori, and Dwalin. Hmmm...Dwalin but no Thorin? Or Balin? How curious. No Bombur, either. Bilbo's heart sank for Bofur, knowing he would be sad without his brother. It sank much heavier than concern for a loved friend would warrant, though. Bilbo did not realize how much he wished to see Thorin until he wasn't there. 

Bifur gave Bombur's regrets to Bofur and handed out his letters to each of them. Bofur was disappointed, but he could not fault Bombur for not wanting to subject his family to another trip back and forth so soon. Seeing Bifur gladdened him greatly. He glanced over the rest of them to see who was missing. No Thorin. Interesting. 

Fili and Kili were excited to see everyone and weaved among them, chattering happily. They noted with heavy disappointment that Thorin was yet missing. Fili supposed it was honestly for the best, while Kili hoped perhaps he would be along later.

A fair amount of the packages in the wagon were for the wedding. The dwarrows, Hamfast, and Holman unloaded them into Bilbo's foyer for the time being. As the last package from of the wagon, Dwalin brought forth a wide, flat wooden box. Kneeling with a hint of ceremony, he presented it to Bilbo and Kili. Realizing it was meant to be opened now, Bilbo flipped the latch and lifted the lid. He heard Hamfast gasp. Nestled within, on a bed of fur, were two expertly forged crowns, one slightly smaller than the other.

Dwalin stood, but still held the box for them. He said, "From His Majesty Thorin for the princes."  
Bilbo was fascinated by the beauty of the crowns as he reached in to touch them. "For Fili and Kili?" he asked.  
"For Kili and yourself."  
Bilbo snatched his hand back in surprise. "Me?" he squeaked.  
Dwalin bowed his head and said grimly, "A wedding gift for the Prince of Erebor and his husband, who will also carry his title."

Bilbo feeling of shock was joined by a sad tightness in his chest. How difficult it must have been for Thorin to say those words for Dwalin to relay! Bilbo watched Kili reach in and lift one up carefully. Not as wide and more delicate than a king's crown, they were both made of a lovely, gleaming gold that was brighter than it was brassy. The detail was intricate, as intricate as anything Bilbo witnessed in Rivendell. He recognized Kili's symbol and other detail he had learned (in those early treasury days) was traditional to Durin's line. He found the courage to lift his out, too. There were small, nature-themed, decidedly non-dwarven details on Bilbo's in place of some of the more ancestral symbols that were on Kili's. Small, tasteful diamonds were woven into each crown's design to add gleam without detracting from the natural beauty of the metal. They were marvels of master craftsmanship. 

Something on the inside rim of his crown caught Kili's notice. "Fee, isn't this Thorin's seal?"  
Fili looked stunned. "By my beard," he gasped.  
"What?" Bilbo asked. Something significant was happening but he did not know what it was.  
Fili recovered enough to explain, "Certain jewelry, weapons, what have you--pieces of great importance--are signed by their maker. _These_ are signed...by Thorin himself."  
Kili ran his fingertips over Thorin's seal delicately, a look of pure wonder on his face.

Bilbo swallowed past the lump in his throat. He had no idea Thorin could do such things with metal, nor that Thorin had any time he could take away from his throne to craft such items of beauty for them.

"These are exquisite, Dwalin. Will I..." Bilbo paused to screw up his courage to ask the question that had been in the back of his mind for weeks. "Will I get a chance to thank His Majesty personally?"  
Dwalin bowed his head deeply again before answering. "Thorin sends his regrets, these crowns, and myself in his place."  
Dejected and not even trying to hide it, Bilbo said, "Oh. That is unfortunate. I shall have to write him a letter once I find words for a gift such as these."  
"Well, at least we have you, Mister Dwalin," Kili said, risking a small smile. 

The corner of Dwalin's mouth crooked up into the closest approximation of a smile Kili had gotten from him since the whole Bilbo situation started.

Bilbo snapped back to himself. "Yes! And as soon as I go to market, we will have a very merry feast, indeed! I've got good rooms set aside at the Inn, too, so each of you will have your own comfortable beds while you are here."  
"Here!" Holman piped up. "Mister Bilbo! Do not go to market and leave your friends! They have traveled such a long way! Hamfast and me will do your buying at market for you!"  
"Oh, that would be delightful! Let me get you coin and write you a list," Bilbo said.  
"I'll need ingredients for pie," Kili added.  
Said Fili, "If he's showing off, so shall I! I'll make bread tonight."  
Ori touched Kili's arm. "You-you know how to make _pie_?"  
Kili smiled proudly. "Better than Bilbo himself, or so he says."  
"Now you've done it!" Dori said. "I hope you like to make them, lad. Ori is going to pie you right out of the Shire."

*****

Bilbo insisted Hamfast and Holman stay for dinner, resulting in a rather shocking education for them both on the loud and raucous nature of dwarves in general. Even Kili, Fili, and Bofur--normally poised in Holman's presence--were throwing food and drinking the messiest of toasts. The dwarves loved their food, their laughs, and their songs, though, and Holman decided they were not too terribly different from hobbits when it came right down to it. Hamfast adored them.

Bilbo passed around some Longbottom Leaf to pack into pipes after dinner and they all spilled out into Bilbo's yard for an evening smoke. The lamps down the road were being lit and Bilbo was proud of how pretty his home and neighborhood looked. 

"How about those crowns?" Kili said to Bilbo quietly.  
"I had no idea...they are beautiful. It was a generous gesture--and not only in value," Bilbo replied.  
"Do you wish he was here?"  
"I did not know I wanted him to be with them all until he wasn't. I can't blame him, though, and it will probably save us hard feelings down the road."  
Kili kissed Bilbo's cheek. "I was disappointed, too. The gift says quite a bit in his place, though. He sent Dwalin as well. That was a surprise."  
"And no Balin. Just as well that Thorin has someone who cares for him to stay behind with him," Bilbo noted.  
"Seems sort of weird, though," Kili said. "The handful of times Thorin has come up tonight, the rest of them look at each other weirdly as though they do not know what to say."  
Bilbo shrugged. "It is probably uncomfortable for them. Our situation is a little sticky, to say the least."  
"That makes sense."

*****

As the evening wound down, Bifur pulled Bofur aside, outside and to the far end of the garden. He looked around twice to make sure no one was listening.

 _"Thorin traveled with us from Erebor and is staying at the Inn."_  
"What?" Bofur asked with an incredulous chuckle, as though Bifur were putting him on.  
Bifur's expression was serious.  
 _"Thorin is_ here _, Bofur. In the Shire."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, dears!


	7. Private Showing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin checks in with Thorin. There's a whole lot of sex happening at Bag End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally intended to go into Thorin's side of things more, but Fili, Bofur, Kili, and Bilbo decided they'd rather fuck for a few thousand words. What was I going to do? Tell them _no_?
> 
> Not quite Durincest, but Fili and Kili are naked in the same room with their lovers. Proceed with caution of Durincest is one of your squicks.

Thorin sat at the inn impatiently awaiting Dwalin's knock on his door. From a distance, he had seen Bilbo and Kili discover his gift. He cherished the wonder on both of their faces, but something upset the three of them for a short time. Bilbo had been holding his crown, previously seemingly thrilled, but then very sad, indeed. The curiosity was killing him. When the dwarrows disappeared behind Bilbo's door, he thought perhaps Dwalin would come back out, but it wasn't so. Then again, what excuse could he have given that wouldn't seem odd? Once Thorin had been sure they were not coming out, he had gone to dinner.

The hobbits at the pub were not as stand-offish as Bilbo had spoken of in the past. One patron asked him if he was heading to Erebor from the Blue Mountains, so it seemed the letter Thorin had sent along with Bilbo went a long way in soothing local anxiety. He had to admit, he ate a glorious dinner. Hobbit pub food was probably the best pub food he remembered eating. Still, sitting there alone, surrounded by hobbits that were not his Bilbo while his family and friends were gathered around Bilbo's own merry table...well, he felt very lonely. 

Two raps sounded at the door and a voice said, "Dwalin."  
"Enter," Thorin said.

Dwalin joined Thorin in his room, looking satisfied and smelling of pleasant smoke. 

"How did it go?" Thorin asked. "Were you polite to Bilbo in his home?"  
"It went well. I was quite civil, I'll have you know. You were asked after."  
"And what was said? Did any of the others betray my secret?"  
"No, I made it clear I was there on your behalf. As requested, none of our group spoke of you that I heard. Your gifts delighted Bilbo and Kili both. I trust you saw?" Dwalin asked.  
"Yes, except..."  
"Except?"  
Thorin wasn't sure he wanted the answer, but he could not help himself. "I saw them receive the crowns, but something upset Bilbo considerably. Kili and Fili, too. I almost hate to ask, but what upset them all so?"  
Dwalin replied, "Bilbo wanted to know if you would be along and I told him no, that I was there in your place."  
"You mean they were all so bothered because I was not there?" Thorin asked, brightening.  
"Very much so. In fact, now that I think of it, I might need to be offended over Bilbo being so disappointed I was not you!" Dwalin chuckled, pleased to see Thorin's face losing its shadow.

A slow smile spread across Thorin's face as he steepled his fingers at his chin. 

"Thorin, please reconsider," Dwalin said. "I know it is hard for you, but you're here anyway. Why creep around on corners when you could have a place at the table? Bilbo and the lads made us a dinner tonight like you would not believe! Why suffer through this on your own when you could also have some comfort?"  
"Did Bilbo and Kili kiss? Did they coo? Did they embrace and nuzzle and look ridiculously in love?" Thorin asked, clearly making a point.  
Dwalin sighed heavily. "Yes, they did, but they might do those things when you are watching from your hiding spots, too."  
"Yes, but I won't have to hear it, I won't be close enough to see the softness in their eyes, and I won't have other eyes on me, waiting to see my reaction."  
"No sense in being lonely in a crowd, Thorin. You came for a reason, but now you cower. It is not kingly, nor is it good for your spirits. I implore you to spend some time with us and with the lads. Fili could use some of your sense. He's been learning _elvish_ for Durin's sake!"  
"I appreciate your concern, but it is better like this for now. I'll tell them later, or perhaps I'll find Fili after the wedding. Maybe I'll spend time with him before I go. Did they happen to mention my sister?"  
Dwalin's smile returned, nearly shy. "She will be here by the 22nd. She intends to travel back with our group to Erebor."  
Thorin smiled back, not only at the good news but for Dwalin's demeanor while sharing it. "Good. I will not miss a chance to see her, then. It is happy news that the princess will return to Erebor. I doubt she has any true memory of it that was not put there by someone else. I trust this is happy news to you, too."  
"Yes," Dwalin said, glancing away. He coughed and changed the subject. "I'm full of food, beer, and pipe weed. If you don't need anything else from me, I think I hear my bed calling."

Thorin sighed and thought longingly of pipe weed. He'd have to visit a vendor tomorrow and obtain some, since he would not be sharing Bilbo's. 

"Go on ahead. Thank you for doing that for me today, and for being on your better behavior."  
"Eh, I suppose they aren't so bad. I don't much care for how they did you, but they were kind and the food was good. I could handle biting my tongue another week or two, I think."  
Thorin grinned. Dwalin was so easy. "Good night."  
"G'night."

*****

The last of the guests were long gone and dinner had been cleaned up. Kili, Bilbo, Bofur, and Fili headed to bed, relaxed from Shire beer and the joy of being reunited with their friends.

*****

Bofur wanted to speak to Fili about Bifur's revelation but the blond's hands and lips chased away those thoughts for now. Fili had Bofur's prick on his tongue before Bofur could get his tunic off. Stripping from the waist up caught Fili's attention. Fili kissed up Bofur's chest until the was standing. He unraveled Bofur's pigtails.

"I want you like this, hair down except for our courting braid," Fili whispered.  
Bofur took Fili's braids down, too. 

Fili pulled Bofur back toward the bed, urging him on top.

He said, "I need to feel your body pressing me into the bed."  
Bofur nuzzled Fili's ear. "Do you want me inside tonight?"  
"I do. Spread me wide and fill me," Fili begged.  
Bofur groaned. "Mahal, Fee!"

A loud moan of Bilbo's drifted down the hall and through the door, left slightly ajar.

"He sounds good, doesn't he?" Fili said.  
Bofur hummed in agreement while he sucked Fili's nipple ring.  
Fili continued. "I'd love us to make him moan like that."  
Bofur moved up to nibble on Fili's neck. "How would we do that?" he ventured.  
"We'd lay him back on a bed and crawl all over him. You could taste his navel ring while I bit into his nipple to see if he would squeak. Maybe I would lick his stomach while you whispered dirty suggestions into his ear. You're better at those things than I am."  
Bofur kissed Fili obscenely.  
He said, "I don't know about that. You're doing a great job right now."  
"Not like you. Tell me, Bo. Tell me what we'd do," Fili said.  
"I'd kiss him breathless while you tasted his abdomen. You'd tug me down when you reached his prick and we'd both lick it at the same time. We'd spread his legs wide and each slip a finger inside him. We'd open him for Kee, each pulling and rubbing until he was whimpering and begging. You'd suck his prick into your mouth and lick the taste of his excitement into mine while you kissed me. Kee would lay down and pull Bilbo on top of him, facing up so we could still touch him while he was being claimed."

Bilbo moaned again down the hall. 

"Fuck Bo," Fili said, grinding his erection into Bofur's hip. "What else?"  
"Kee would make him moan, like he just did. We would touch his skin, kissing and licking while he got fucked. You'd tease him with your wicked tongue, sucking his prick just enough to make him crazy but not enough to finish."

Bofur was getting lost in the fantasy and more turned on by the moment. Fili felt good sliding against him and seemed to be just as turned on as he was by speaking his fantasy out loud.

"But the finish isn't for me, is it? Tell me," Fili begged, breathless.  
"Kee would be fucking him harder, riding along his hot spot. Bee would call out my name, begging for me to finish him, and I would wrap my lips around his prick and suck him off. At the end of it, I would feed it to him, licking it deeply into his mouth. When I was done, I would let you taste what was left on my tongue."  
"Fuck yes, Bo. Kee would hold him down for me and you could suck me over his face until I finished, too. I'd push you off at the last minute and I would come on his face," Fili panted.  
"Durin's bloody axe!" Bofur swore.  
"You'd lick my come off his face, wouldn't you?" Fili asked wickedly. "You both would, Bilbo would lick out after it and you would suck it off his tongue."  
"I need to fuck you _right now_ ," Bofur said, slicking his fingers.  
Fili mewled when Bofur pushed two fingers into him right away.  
Fili whispered urgently, "You'll push me down across him. You'll come inside me, fucking me over his stomach. Maybe you'll use his leg to brace yourself while you fuck me crazy."  
Bofur knew Fili was baiting him to take him sooner and it was working.  
"Now, Bo. Do it now," Fili begged. 

Bofur urged Fili's legs back, lifted his hips, and pushed inside. He was strung so tightly from their talk, he was already close. He licked his palm and took Fili in his hand, roughly pumping him while he rode him hard. Bofur could not help but finish first, moaning and panting. He slid out and lowered himself between Fili's legs. Taking Fili's cock in his mouth, he worked him until Fili came on his tongue. Bofur opened Fili's mouth with his finger and sealed his mouth over it, letting the semen roll over both of their tongues. 

"That's how I'd do it," Bofur said. "That's how I'd make him come."  
Fili hummed ecstatically. "That hobbit doesn't know what he's missing. Sort of sad, really," he said.  
"Sad?"  
"As hot as all that was and as willing as I am to play so wickedly, it is going to have to stay a fantasy."  
Bofur rolled on his side and propped his head up on his hand. "Kee too jealous?"  
"Funny enough, no. Kee said he doesn't mind but Bee does not want it," Fili said. "He doesn't want anyone touching Kee."  
"Well you wouldn't touch Kee, anyway. So Bilbo doesn't want _me_ touching him. That's a little...upsetting," Bofur said, frowning.  
"Don't take it that way! Kee would probably kill me if I told you this but, um, you know a lot of dwarrows think he's unattractive, right?"  
Bofur nodded. He had heard a few taunts hurled Kili's direction by the others on their road to Erebor. "Narrow-minded fools, maybe."  
"Be that as it may, Kee had never known a bed partner when he and Bee started. He says that Bee is rather possessive about that. It doesn't have anything to do with who is doing the touching, only that it is not him."  
"What does this have to do with us and Bee?"  
"Bee doesn't want to be a hypocrite, getting all this attention when he himself does not wish to share," Fili said.  
"I guess that makes sense to a point, but what does it matter if Kee doesn't care?"  
Fili shrugged. "I don't know, but apparently it does."

*****

Bilbo leaned his back against the bedpost. His arms stretched over his head with one hand clutching the post. Kili's hands were on his chest while he stroked Bilbo's cock with his lips and tongue. Kili alternated long strokes with taking him in shallowly, just below the head, sucking harder and flicking his tongue. Bilbo's head lolled back and forth along the curve of the post as he whined in pleasure.

*****

Legs entangled, Bofur and Fili shared open-mouthed kisses. Bilbo's had moans lessened, replaced by Kili's keening. Fili's fingers caressed Bofur's refreshed erection.

"Like how they sound?" Fili asked sensuously.  
"Mmm...how they sound, how you feel," Bofur drawled, licking out for another kiss.  
"Let's go see."  
"Would we be welcome?"  
"Kee said if their door is open, it is our invitation to look. I don't know if you've paid attention, but it hasn't been closed once since we've been home."  
"Fuck, that's sexy. I did not know that."  
"Kee told me when we were on the way back from Ered Luin."  
Bofur nipped at Fili's throat. "Do you know how many times they've made love since then? When were you going to tell me?"  
"When I wasn't busy making love to you myself."  
Bofur grinned. "Good answer, that. Should, um, should we re-bind our hair before we go?"  
"Do you _want_ to?" Fili asked.  
"No," Bofur said softly.  
Fili kissed him. "Neither do I."

*****

Bilbo had Kili laying along the width of the bed, the dwarf's legs around his waist while Bilbo stroked into him steadily. Bilbo was humming and moaning, joining Kili's pants and cries.

"You feel so good inside me. _Fuck_ ," Kili said.  
"I agree. It does feel so good inside you," Bilbo growled. 

"Looks good, too," Fili said quietly.

Bilbo and Kili turned to look, sly and sexy smiles spreading across their faces. Fili and Bofur were naked in their doorway, each sporting hard pricks. 

The first thing Bilbo noticed was their hair was loosed. He had never seen either of them like that before. Knowing how important hair was to dwarrows, it seemed particularly intimate that Bilbo was permitted to see them with their braids unraveled. Bilbo continued moving but slowed his speed. The rush of arousal from having a nude, excited audience with unbraided hair was going to end him in a quick if he did not ease up. 

Bofur spun Fili around to press against the door frame. He kneeled, spreading Fili's buttocks wide and lapped into him. Fili gasped.

"Can you taste yourself?" Fili asked huskily.  
Bofur hummed.  
"Is he licking himself out of you?" Kili asked.  
"Oh, yes," Fili exhaled. 

Bilbo needed to slow _way_ down. 

Bofur stood. "Oil?"  
"Nightstand," Bilbo replied. 

Bofur slicked himself, lifted Fili, braced him against the doorway, and pressed inside him.  
"Hold me tight," Bofur told him.

Fili wrapped his arms and legs around Bofur as his lover fucked him against the door frame. It felt raw, animal, and oh so good. Bofur was pegging his gland with every thrust and the pressure of Bofur pushing against his chest when they were upright like this was turning him on even more. He loved it when Bofur went at him as though he could not bear not to be inside him one moment longer. Unfortunately, the rail was digging into his back directly on a nerve.

"Bo, my back," Fili said.  
Bofur retreated and set Fili on the floor. 

Bilbo had been watching Bofur take Fili against the doorway with a blend of interest and envy. He was disappointed for them that it had to be interrupted.  
"Half the bed is free," Kili volunteered.  
Bilbo looked down at him. He adored his thoughtful (and perverted) Kili. Kissing him hungrily, Bilbo said, "Good thinking."  
"Purely selfish. I'll be able to see better and you are going to fuck me so well with such a close audience."

Fili scooted back along the width of the bed, only slightly away from Kili. His legs brushed against Bilbo's arm once Bofur had them hitched back. Fili found it quite erotic, brushing against a fucking Bilbo. He dropped his hand off Bofur's arm and smacked Kili's on accident. Kili's hand found his and gave him a quick squeeze before reaching up to caress Bilbo. It was a bizarre moment of connection in an even more bizarre situation: flat on his back next to his brother while they both had sex with their lovers. At one point, it might have seemed too weird to so much as say it out loud, but now it simply seemed like _them_. Besides, this way they didn't have to prod each other for details after. They already knew.

Bofur felt like he was flying on the eagles again. Fili was underneath him, whining and breathing heavily, squeezing around him so snugly that Bofur could feel his pulse. Beside him, a beautiful dwarf was getting fucked by the second most frequent subject of Bofur's fantasies. His leg was pressed against Bilbo's as they each braced against the bed and he could feel the pull of Bilbo's muscles on each stroke. He could smell their sex and the salt on their skin. He did not know how he went from lonely bachelor to living a sexual dream, but he found the whole situation intoxicating. 

"Fuck!" Bilbo cried. "Kili, you're going to make me come." _And Bo and Fee_ , Bilbo silently added before his orgasm surged through him. 

He held his palm up for Kili to lick, dropping his hand to the dwarf's cock. He pulled Kili's finish from him in a few short moments, still hard enough to match his strokes inside, too. Bilbo moved lower to lick Kili's seed from his stomach before rolling off to watch Bofur and Fili.

Bofur had watched Bilbo and Kili both come, taking particular interest in Bilbo's pink little tongue as it cleaned Kili's stomach erotically and efficiently. He felt his orgasm approaching, compounded by Bilbo and Kili (no longer distracted) watching them with their full attention. 

"Touch yourself, Fee. You first this time," Bofur murmured. 

Fili pumped himself, yelping when Bofur reached under him to grab his arse with both hands. Bofur stroked his sweetest spot when he held him like this. It was not long until Fili was howling and coming. 

"Fuck yes, so fucking hot," Bofur grunted, speeding up. "So close, so close."

Remembering the night by the campfire, Bilbo climbed over Kili on all fours and leaned toward Bofur. "Come for me," he whispered seductively.

Bofur came with a roar, biting back a name because it could have been Fili and Bilbo both at that point. Once he finished shuddering out the last of the pleasure-twinges, Bofur rolled off Fili. He watched Fili rub his seed into his skin.

"Bloody Void, Fee," Bofur exhaled. "You can't do things like that unless you want me to fuck you again."  
"Maybe I do," Fili flirted. 

When Bofur looked back at Bilbo and Kili, they were kissing passionately. Bofur laid his head on Fili's shoulder, sighed contentedly, and watched longingly. Bilbo was moving sinuously along Kili's body, rubbing his hardening cock against Kili's stomach. 

Kili rolled them onto their sides, using his new freedom to rise on his knees. He pushed Bilbo onto his stomach. He spread Bilbo's cleft open and licked him from stones to entrance. Bilbo squirmed and Kili did it again. His eyes flicked to Bofur and Fili, both very interested in what they were doing. Kili smirked and swirled around Bilbo's pucker, pressing against it with the flat of his tongue. He knew Bilbo loved to be split with his tongue and he wanted to tease him with these presses that denied him entry. He alternated long licks with presses until his jaw ached.

"Kee, please!" Bilbo begged. "For the love of the Valar, open me already!"

Kili pointed his tongue and dipped inside, pulling a lovely mewl from his lover's throat. He repeated the motion, invading him over and over. He glanced up. Fili was hard again and Bofur was getting there. They were both stroking their pricks. He was filled with a need to make Bilbo really shout. Kili wanted to turn him inside out, not only for Bilbo's pleasure but his own. He loved the idea of their audience getting off due to how he made Bilbo positively howl in delight. 

Kili backed off the bed and urged Bilbo to join him. Kili dipped his fingers in the oil bowl. 

"Why are we standing?" Bilbo asked Kili, who pressed against his back.  
"So they can see you better when I do this," Kili replied. 

Kili slipped a finger inside Bilbo. He moved inside him, twisting but not stroking. His movements were slow and deliberate, quickly turning Bilbo into jelly in his arms. Kili leaned, half-sitting on the bed in order for Bilbo to rest his weight on him. 

Bofur and Fili left the bed, no longer being able to see the way they wanted. Shameless, they stood stroking themselves in front of Bilbo as Kili manipulated him. 

Bofur was pumping his cock, back to erect again. Kili wasn't touching Bilbo's prick at all, concentrating all his effort on Bilbo's arse. Bilbo had started to sweat and it made him nearly glow in the candlelight. Bofur glanced at Fili. His bright blue eyes were trained on Bilbo breathlessly vocalizing and he was stroking himself. Eyes darting to Kili's, there was a silent agreement of sorts: they were lucky damn dwarrows and that was a fact. 

Bilbo reached out a hand toward Bofur. "Your hair..."  
Bofur moved within arm's reach, enough for Bilbo to touch it.  
"Oh Bo," Bilbo said, threading his fingers through it. "So handsome, so soft. You look, _oh fuck!_ "

Kili distracted him for a moment with the movement of his fingers. Bilbo reached out for Fili's hair, too. He threaded his hands in Fili's to the scalp and smiled.  
"Yours is so different from the others. You two, you are stunning like this," Bilbo said. "Thank you for showing me."

Fili could not help but grin at Bilbo's understanding of what it meant to see their hair loose, particularly in this context. He knew Bofur had to have just melted inside.

Kili understood it was a deliberate show of intimacy for braided dwarrows to come to them with their hair unbound. It stirred his heart and his dwarfish pride for Bilbo to recognize it, too. Bilbo's heartbeat thudding against his fingers stirred something else entirely. Kili decided it was time to make Bilbo scream. He hooked his two fingers and tapped, slowly at first but picking up speed. Bilbo's staccato sounds he was spitting with every breath changed into gasps for air and wails. Bilbo reached to touch himself but Kili snatched his arm away.

"No hands. Just like this," Kili said.  
"Kee, please!" Bilbo pleaded.

Bofur was not sure what was playing out in front of him, but Bilbo was desperate. He had flushed a mottled pink and his cock was straining and leaking. Bilbo was begging and pleading for Kili to let him touch himself, but Kili had both arms pinned behind Bilbo while he worked his fingers inside. 

Bilbo wiggled against the hold Kili had on him, Kili clutching both Bilbo's arms with one of his own. Bilbo squirmed lower to get some relief from the relentless tapping against his sweet spot, driving him to the very brink of madness with no blessed flood of release. Kili held him too firmly and his fingers inside were too surely hitting their mark. Bilbo felt the heaviness in the head of his cock and a pleasure inside so sharp it was nearly pain. His muscles were growing sore from tensing.

Fili watched Bilbo's cock drip wetness as Kili fingered him. It came out steady, eventually creating a small puddle on the floor below with a thin, glistening thread bouncing under it with each shudder through his body. Fili fought the urge to find out how it tasted while he stroked himself closer to his own orgasm.

Bilbo was babbling, sobbing, and begging when Kili felt him heat up inside. Kili knew he was almost there. He whispered obscene suggestions into Bilbo's ear until he exploded. Bilbo bowed back against Kili screaming. His cock twitched and spurted his release against his quivering stomach. Kili felt Bilbo's muscles finally give out and held him up.

Fili felt a surge of white hot lust when he watched Kili force Bilbo's orgasm without touching his prick. As the familiar pleasure swirled and tensed within Fili, Bilbo's semen glistening seemed to beckon him. Without a second thought or permission either one, Fili stepped forward, braced a hand on Kili's shoulder and finished on Bilbo's stomach. 

Bilbo was surprised when Fili came against him, but he adored how filthy it was. He caught the blond's eye and they shared a salacious look between them. The Durins certainly loved their sex, Yavanna bless them. Bilbo benefited greatly, even from the one to whom he was not bonded. He glanced at Bofur, who was still looking at Fili, agog. When Bofur's eyes shifted to Bilbo's, he caught Bilbo staring back. A tingle ran up Bilbo's spine.

Bofur was already reeling from watching Bilbo scream through his orgasm, his lovely cock flexing and spilling all on its own. Fili finishing on Bilbo made him crazed with lust, watching his blond god defile the other object of his desire so obscenely, so blatantly. He felt envy, _jealousy_. He wanted to be the one whose come dripped down Bilbo's front with the hobbit's own. His gaze met Bilbo's. 

Bilbo watched Bofur stroke himself and move closer. He licked his lips. Bofur was going to finish on him. The thought of it nearly made him moan, but it wasn't what he wanted most in that moment. Bilbo thought about what it would be like to be fucked by Kili as he sucked Bofur's cock, getting filled at front and back. He wanted his lips wrapped around that glorious cock as it finished, tasting it, feeling the way it pulsed inside him, swallowing every blessed drop. Bilbo glanced down at it, Bofur stroking and exposing the swollen head on every slide. He knew he could have it now with no repercussions. Well, almost no repercussions. He looked into Bofur's eyes again. There was certainly lust there, but it was not playful like Fili's. It was darker, somehow, coupled with something Bilbo didn't dare name. Fili looked at him with want. Bofur looked at him with _need_. 

Bofur felt the pleasure reaching its apex, halting all else in his body until it burst forth. Bofur could see in Bilbo's eyes that he knew Bofur planned to follow Fili--and that Bilbo was ready for it. There was something else behind Bilbo's gaze, too. Something inviting. He felt a thrilling prickle under his skin as he realized what he was seeing. Bilbo _wanted_ him. The thought was far too delicious and Bofur was too close. Bofur kept his eyes locked to Bilbo's while he came on his skin.

Bilbo nearly quivered in Kili's grasp when he felt the heat of Bofur's orgasm on his flesh. He had to close his eyes. It was too intimate to continue holding Bofur's gaze like this. His cock twitched in desire but feebly, having just been twice emptied in rapid succession. He heard Kili purr, "You've all made such a mess. It is only polite to clean it off."

Bilbo's eyes snapped open. 

"A tongue will work as well as a rag," Fili said.  
"Better, I think," Kili teased.

Bofur dropped to his knees and smoothed a hand up Bilbo's thigh. He and Fili would lick Bilbo clean, sharing come-filled kisses while touching Bilbo all over. He'd kiss Bilbo, too. Passionately and hungrily. 

Bofur gazed up at Bilbo, the raw need there only adding to Bilbo's trepidation. Bilbo thought the situation was becoming dangerous and getting entirely out of hand. The fact that Bilbo wanted Bofur's tongue on his body so badly was enough indication to him that it should not happen at all. 

"No," Bilbo croaked. 

Bofur let go of him instantly and Fili froze to his spot. 

"No what, my jewel?" Kili asked gently.  
Bilbo shook his head. "No touching. It's-it's too much."

Fili frowned, disappointed. He thought for a moment that he and Bofur would get to live out the fantasy they had earlier spun for one another. Simply thinking of licking the three of them off Bilbo's chest nearly gave him another erection. Kili had warned him, though--Bilbo had created limits. They had already strained against them by adding their seed to his, Fili supposed. He glanced at Bofur. His lover was trying to school his expression, but Fili knew him well enough to know that this bothered him terribly.

Bofur sat back on the floor for a moment, stomach feeling like it was in his knees. He tried not to let his disappointment show on his face, but he felt Bilbo's refusal like a punch. Did he misunderstand? Didn't Bilbo want him? Beyond that, he would again miss the opportunity to kiss those lips, to taste the tongue he wanted so badly to confirm was sweet. He felt like he might cry. 

Kili wiped Bilbo clean with a cloth. "Are you ready for sleeping?" he asked.  
"I think I might be," Bilbo answered.

With no clothes to gather, Fili and Bofur took the hint and moved to leave the room. The evening had ended abruptly, confusing them both.

"A moment?" Bilbo said.

Fili and Bofur turned to look and Bilbo held both his hands out, indicating they should each give him one of theirs, which they did. 

By way of apology, Bilbo said, "It gives me pleasure to see your pleasure, and to show you mine. Perhaps we may do it again?"  


Bilbo knew it was likely courting trouble, but he could not bear the disappointed looks on Fili and Bofur's faces. Besides, if they could stick to watching, there was still much fun to be had. Bilbo gave their hands a squeeze and released them. 

Fili winked. "Just leave the door cracked. If ours is open, you're also welcome in."  
Bofur gave a weak smile, still shaken, and led Fili out of the room. 

"Are you okay?" Kili asked once they returned to bed. "Was the play too much?"  
"Not the watching, or even the finishing, but licking might be going too far," Bilbo said.  
"I know it sounds crazy to you, but I really don't mind. I was already hard again watching them look at you like a roast chicken dinner, knowing that you're all mine. I'm getting a little hard now, just thinking about how all the dwarrows want you."  
Bilbo scoffed, "Not all."  
"So you say," Kili replied. "And maybe I would not feel this way about just anyone, but it is Bo and Fee. I don't care if they aren't stroking me, I'm still getting off by what they do to _you_."

Bilbo did not know how to put into words that it was not just the reciprocity that was the issue, here. He and Bofur were close, best friends, and their relationship had been working for them. Watching each other had scratched that itch of attraction he knew they both felt--even allowing them to get off--without causing problems. He feared what would happen were they to complicate it with anything further. He seemed to be the only one who remembered that although Bofur made Fili wait for him to join them at Beorn's, he once offered to leave Erebor with Bilbo without question.

"Is it because you don't share a bond with them?" Kili asked.  
Brought back to the moment, Bilbo said, "What?"  
"Does it have something to do with not being their bond-mate, or with them being bonded to each other?"  
Bilbo didn't think that was the issue, but he knew Kili would keep trying to figure it out until he got some sort of answer. "I don't know. Possibly, but maybe not. I'll let you know if I feel more comfortable with it, I promise. Honestly, Kee, I don't know why it matters so much to you."  
"I want you to have the things that pleasure you, to breathe life into your fantasies. I want it to be so good for you that you'll never regret the choice of me."  
"Kili!"  
"I know--look, I _know_ you are mine. I know to my soul you are mine and I am yours. I could never let someone else touch you if I did not know that. But you're a creature of pleasures. If you want to know how it feels to have six hands and three tongues on your body, I want to give that to you. All I've ever wanted was to please you." Kili dropped sensual kisses across Bilbo's neck and chest in between phrases. "To hear you sigh, to hear you moan, to make you _come_. I do not want you to ever feel like you gave up greater pleasures to be my lover."  
Bilbo arched into Kili's kisses, wrapping Kili's hair around his hands. "The greatest pleasure _is_ to be your lover."

Kili reached over and slicked his cock. He nudged Bilbo's thighs up, Bilbo already stretched from before. He pushed inside, making Bilbo gasp. He pressed his chest against Bilbo's, wrapping his arms under him. 

He whispered into his neck. "No, the greatest pleasure is to be _yours_."

*****

"I have to tell you something," Bofur said.  
"The look on your face is concerning."  
"Bifur took me aside before they left for the night. Thorin came with them. He's here, Fee."  
"He's--he's _here_? In the Shire?"  
"Yes."  
"That doesn't make any sense! Dwalin said he was here on Thorin's behalf. He brought his gift for him. Dammit, Thorin, what are you up to?" Fili said.  
"Maybe he got halfway here and decided it was a bad idea," Bofur suggested. "It would be highly inadvisable for him to try to return to Erebor alone at that point, you know."  
"Maybe, but then why not say something? He has to know I want to see him, that our mother would want to see him!"  
"I don't know. Maybe he knew you'd get agitated like this," Bofur said.  
"What do we do? Do we tell them? _Warn_ them?"  
"My first thought was that we had to tell them. Now that I've lived with it for a little bit, I'm not so sure. He's got his reasons, and he's already tending some pretty big hurts."  
Fili looked at Bofur curiously. "I never pictured you a Thorin apologist, Bo."  
Bofur shrugged. "I'm not, not really. He's done some incredibly kind things along with some incredibly awful ones. King he might be, but his insides are just like ours. He feels love, pleasure, and pain, too. I'm willing to go on faith for a day or two before we give up his secret."  
"The others are keeping his secret for him, too, so he can't be planning anything too terrible," Fili reasoned. "Okay, we'll keep it quiet for now." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, friends! I live for your comments <3


	8. Peach Trees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin observes from afar.

Early the next morning, Thorin watched Bag End. He did not dare announce his presence, but he wanted to see Bilbo, Fili, and Kili. He figured he could be a distant observer, living vicariously through the other dwarrows and catching precious glimpses of those he loved. It was going to be easier this way, he convinced himself. 

Not long after Thorin began observing, Bifur and Ori called on Bilbo and disappeared inside. He later saw two hobbits knock on the door, get Bilbo's approval about something, and roll up a wheelbarrow of full-topped yellow flowers to be planted. Fili, Kili, Bilbo, Bofur, Bifur, and Ori emerged later, Bifur and Ori saying goodbye as the four housemates headed...right in Thorin's direction! He ducked around the side of a building and behind a bush. When he peeked again, the quartet was gone. Creeping back toward the road, he saw their backs, Kili holding Bilbo's hand as they walked. They returned a short time later, this time without Thorin being in danger of being caught. They carried soft packages and Kili, Fili, and Bofur were dressed like an odd combination of hobbit and dwarf. Shirts and suspenders for the brothers, a waistcoat for Bofur, but very dwarvish trousers with their boots. He shook his head. What were they thinking? They disappeared back into Bag End.

Just past lunch, a young hobbit tugged on Thorin's cloak, which had grown warm in the September sun.

"Mister sir, what are you doing standing there?" she asked.  
Thorin leaned forward, hands on his knees, and said, "I'm Master Baggins's bodyguard. I'm keeping an eye on his place to make sure his visitors do not get into trouble."  
"Are you a dwarf, too?"  
"You are very smart, young lass."  
"So you are okay?" she asked innocently.

Thorin cocked his head. It was a simple child's question but it turned his middle inside out. No, he was _not_ okay.

"I'm fine," he said with a forced smile.

The little girl ran away toward whom he figured to be her mother. "Ma, he says he's fine! He's Mister Bilbo's bodyguard!"

Thorin glanced up to the narrowed eyes of the older hobbit. She went about her business, a firm hand on her child's back, and did not seem as though she was going to create a fuss about him. He decided he'd best cease observation from any of the roads or yards if he didn't want to get caught.

*****

Bilbo was finishing baking tea cakes while Fili and Bofur set up the dining room for Afternoon Tea. Kili had run off to the inn to gather anyone who wanted to join them.

Bilbo felt his face grow warm whenever Fili or Bofur caught his eyes. After all their shared experiences, naked or otherwise, Bilbo did not know how he could still be bashful with them. Of course, prior to last night he had never seen them specifically wank off to him--or _on_ him. A lazy tendril of desire curled upwards inside him as he recalled the memory. Fili was so forward and brazen with him! It was exciting to see that side of him, to see that familiar Durin heat flare up in his eyes. Then there was Bofur. So sweet and yet so, so dirty, Bilbo could wank to the memory of Bofur finishing on him for ages. Recalling Bofur's passionate gaze sent a tingle through him. He was so lost in thought, he had stopped moving and was absently clutching a dishrag to his chest. 

"Bee? Are you okay?' Bofur asked.  
Bilbo answered distantly, "Yes. I was just thinking about last night-" 

Solidly blushing this time, Bilbo wished he could stuff the words back in as soon as he said them. He hadn't meant to admit his thoughts out loud. How embarrassing!

"That _was_ rather worth thinking about, wasn't it?" Fili drawled. "What say you, Bo?"  
"If you want me to be hard for company, sure, let's talk about it now," Bofur wisecracked, trying to keep the tone light.  
Fili smiled, but it faded as he spoke. "There is one thing that stood out, though. Something that concerned me."  
"What was that?" Bilbo asked.  
"You've been keeping a naughty secret, Bee. Something important, possibly life-changing for Bo and me."

Bilbo tightened his forehead, pulling his earlobes back. _Merciful Eru, Fili has noticed it, too,_ Bilbo thought in a panic. 

Fili walked over to him, pushing his hair away from his ear. He leaned in so close Bilbo could feel Fili's body heat and his breath on his face.

"You never told us it was possible to come like that, not touching yourself," Fili said seductively. "How does Kili do that to you? Is it a hobbit thing, or can you do it to Kili, too?"  
Bilbo exhaled in relief. "Dwarrows can finish like that, too. It isn't something that _can_ happen every time, though."  
"Well?" Fili said, expectantly.  
"Well what?" Bilbo said, finally able to gather himself a bit.  
"Are you going to tell us?"  
Bilbo crossed his arms and fixed Fili with one of his looks, "And then all three of us can have erections in our trousers just in time for our guests? No thank you! I'm not explaining this to Dori, for Valar's sake!"  
"So you're hard now?" Bofur asked curiously. Bilbo realized rather suddenly Bofur was standing very close and sliding a hand along Bilbo's hip, creeping toward his crotch.  
Bilbo playfully slapped at his hand. He chided, "Get off that! I was hard already and it was your fault. You should know these are inappropriate things to discuss in the dining room in full daylight! Besides, Kili really should be here for it!"  
"We've discussed worse things in the full light of day, if you'll remember," Bofur teasingly reminded him, although he scooted away to give him some space.  
"Confusticate and confound these dwarves," Bilbo mock-grumbled. He wagged a finger at them. "Hobbits are very private creatures when it comes to personal business, you know."  
"Oh, _obviously_ ," Fili said.  
"Aye, you were private at the top of your lungs every night at Beorn's," Bofur joked.  
"Oh shut it, you two," Bilbo said. "I'm going to tell Kili how you both accosted me in our very dining room, begging for sex tips and asking after the state of my prick!"  
Fili hummed, unconcerned with Bilbo's fake threat. "I wager he'd be rather disappointed with us--disappointed he didn't come home to find you naked and already tied to the bed all pretty for him."

The thought of Fili and Bofur stripping him and presenting him for Kili in that manner gave Bilbo the most delightful goosebumps. He did his best to squash the thought. He was trying to get rid of an erection, not encourage it.

"This is so unfair," Bilbo lamented, setting out the rest of the cups. "This is two against one! I'm helpless to fight the two of you when you turn on your wicked charm together."  
"Bee," said Bofur. "You're about as helpless as a dragon."

*****

Bilbo and Kili made love in the bath until the water turned chilly. Bilbo hadn't wanted a closed door to their bedroom to add further insult to Fili and Bofur, but he needed some distance between the two of them to steel himself for the next encounter. Kili loved bath time sex, anyway, so it was not any manner of sacrifice.

Drying off, Bilbo recalled two separate incidents wherein he could have sworn he saw Thorin today. Each time, he took a second look but did not see anything where he thought he had been. He had debated multiple times throughout the evening whether to say anything to Kili or not. After claiming each other so lovingly tonight, Bilbo decided that keeping any secrets about Thorin might serve to damage this beautiful thing they had. It wasn't worth it. 

"I think...I think Thorin is here," Bilbo said. "I thought I saw him. The first time I thought it was a trick of the eye, but more than once is too much of a coincidence. I think he is here and the others are covering for him."  
"Truly?" Kili asked. "But why would he hide?"  
Bilbo shrugged his forehead and rolled his eyes. "Thorin logic, you know. Could be any reason."  
"What do we do about it? Do we confront the others? Dwalin? Certainly Dwalin knows!" Kili said.  
"We could, particularly if you are worried. I would hate to cause him undue embarrassment, though. He's already clearly dealing with some issues if he came all this way simply to ask Dwalin to tell us he hadn't come at all."  
"I hadn't thought of it like that. I don't think I'm _worried_ as far as it goes. If he were truly up to no good, Nori or Ori would have said something to me. Any of the lads, really, save for Dwalin."  
"We'll let him have his privacy for now, if he is truly here at all. It could be possible I am seeing things," Bilbo said.  
"Hopefully you are not hallucinating your former lover in the month of our wedding," Kili teased, taking Bilbo into his arms.  


*****

The next day, Bilbo was fussing about with the shrine he had renewed in his garden for Yavanna. It was set up where his mother had hers. He was currently adding a small, hammered metal plate with an indent for liquids Kili had created particularly for it. Bilbo was thankful Kili supported him in this endeavor. He giggled to himself, remembering "really fat birds" as he filled the indent with nuts and seeds.

Holman nervously approached Bilbo. "Excuse me, Mr. Bilbo, but there is a dwarf in a hood skulking about in the peach trees. I'm thinking he might be one of yours?"  
"Thank you, Holman. He's probably lost. I'll go round him up," Bilbo said.

*****

Bilbo crept into the peach grove, figuring Thorin for the wayward dwarf before he had arrived. He had not been wrong.

"Thorin Oakenshield, you should consider taking some hobbits back to Erebor to serve as spies because you clearly have no gift for espionage."

Thorin jumped, startled. Damn the stealth of hobbits! 

Undeniably caught, he answered, "Would you volunteer to come back as Nori's head spymaster?"  
Bilbo smiled broadly, happy to see Thorin again. "What are you doing, sneaking around in the peach trees? Come on, give us a proper hug."

Bilbo held out his arms and did not have to ask twice. Thorin hugged him close, breathing Bilbo in and trying valiantly not to tremble.

"I thought you had sent your regrets," Bilbo said into Thorin's shoulder. "We were so disappointed."  
Thorin held on, not knowing what to say.  
"When were you going to make your presence known to us?"  
Thorin couldn't lie. "I-I wasn't. I both want and do not want to be here. I thought perhaps it would be easier to handle if I was not officially a part of the events. I thought, maybe, I could watch you from afar, simply seeing what was going on without participating, and that might be enough."  
"And miss the chance on a visit with Fili? Kili? They do so miss you. And what of your sister? She is bound to arrive soon. Really, Thorin, just when I think you could not get any more silly ideas..."  
"I confess perhaps I did not think it through."  
"I should say not." Bilbo pushed away to look at him. "Please say at least you are not camping out in the woods or some such nonsense?"  
"No, I'm staying at the inn."  
"Good. Now quit this sneaking around and come back with me before my neighbors think you're out to steal their silver."  
Thorin was aghast. "Steal their silver? I could buy their homes a thousand times over!" he blustered.  
"Well, then, act like a king instead of a thief in the night! Even Nori is acting more respectable!" Bilbo teased.

Thorin stopped looking offended and flashed Bilbo a smile.

"You look wonderful, Bilbo. Being home has done you well."  
"Elrond took fantastic care of me and good pipe weed and Shire food has done the rest. Please, have dinner with us tonight." Bilbo looked Thorin over and clicked his tongue. "I daresay it is my turn to fuss about how you are too thin and have no color."

Thorin bristled at the mention of Elrond, still envious of both the elves and Kili at Bilbo's side in Rivendell instead of him. The invitation to dinner cut through his loneliness and cheered him enough not to mention it, though.

*****

Bilbo led Thorin into Bag End. Fili, Bofur, Kili, and Oin were at the table.

"Look who I have found!" Bilbo said.  
"Thorin!" Kili shouted, rushing forward to claim a hug.  
Fili and Bofur exchanged knowing looks.  
"I thought you had sent your regrets?" Fili said suspiciously, even though he was lining up for a hug of his own.  
"Yes, didn't you?" Oin added, confused by this turn of events. Thorin had asked them to keep him secret.  
Thorin glanced at Bilbo worriedly.  
"Things changed in our favor," Bilbo covered smoothly. "He'll be joining the other dwarrows at the inn."  
Thorin shot him a grateful smile.  
"Please, make yourself comfortable while we get things started. The others will be along in a bit," Bilbo said. 

Oin followed the other dwarves after Bilbo shooed them in to start dinner, leaving Bilbo by the door with Thorin.

Bilbo ran a hand through his hair and Thorin noticed the glint of metal. His eyes followed Bilbo's hand back down to his side, giving him his first look at the mithril ring. 

Bilbo noticed something caught Thorin's attention. He looked down to see what was amiss, turning a full circle to check behind him as well. "What?"

Thorin stepped forward and gently took Bilbo's hand. Lifting it between them, he ran a thumb across the ring. 

Bilbo felt almost embarrassed. "Betrothal ring," he explained.  
"Made in Rivendell?" Thorin asked. The design was unmistakably elvish.  
"Yes."  
 _The timing would not have been right for that,_ Thorin thought. "But you were betrothed before then, were you not?"  
"At Beorn's the first time, again in Rivendell after rings were made for us."  
"Kili wears one, too?" Thorin asked quietly.  
"Yes."

Thorin gently released Bilbo's hand. Bilbo cleared his throat uncomfortably before reiterating Thorin should make himself more comfortable while he waited for dinner. 

Bilbo scurried off and Thorin turned back toward the door, removing his cloak to hang. His eye caught a dwarf-sized but obviously elvish bow along with a complement of what appeared to be elvish arrows in a quiver. He scowled. Here he was, worried Fili and Kili would become too hobbit-ish when they were actually on their way to turning elf! 

Wandering around Bilbo's home was an interesting experience now that Thorin knew him better. All the little bits and bobs were part of a larger whole. There were other things, too, Thorin knew had not been there from before. A map of Rivendell hung near Bilbo's writing desk and a curiously framed poem about Bilbo, Fili, Kili, Bofur, and someone named Estel was on the opposite wall. Kili's sword hung over the fireplace with Bilbo's. Two cups were displayed on the mantle, engraved with the couple's names. Thorin rolled his eyes...Bilbo and Kili already had things such as this? Two fiddles and a whistle were in the sitting area. Thorin didn't suppose they were any more Bilbo's than Bofur's hat adorning a peg by the door. Thorin had imagined Bag End the picture of warmth and comfort, homey and welcoming. Being here, seeing traces of Kili and the others clearly settling in, Thorin felt like an outsider.

*****

Fili cut vegetables, lost in his thoughts. He was thankful Thorin materialized without Fili or Bofur having to give him up to Bilbo. Thorin seemed cordial enough, but Fili was mistrustful. He had told Fili at Beorn's that it would never truly be over for him and, uncle or not, Fili wasn't so easily lulled into thinking that had ceased to be the truth.

*****

Thorin was seated at the head of the table in deference to his title. He argued it was not necessary in Bilbo's own home, but Bilbo insisted. It reminded Thorin of the night he met the hobbit, which was both pleasant and painful at once.

"So," Thorin said, making every effort to bite back a nasty tone in favor of a neutral one. "Fili, Kili--tell me how you fared in Rivendell. Did Elrond treat you well as dwarrows?"  
Dwalin scoffed and Thorin quieted him with a look.  
Fili cleared his throat. "Lord Elrond treated us well. Better than well, truly. He fed us, let us go wherever we wished, and housed us in glorious rooms."  
"I made friends with the Captain of the Bow Guard and won contests! They made me my own custom bow and I learned arrowcraft," Kili said.  
"You already knew arrowcraft," Thorin said.  
"But not like these!" Kili gushed.  
Fili elbowed Kili.  
"Ow! What?" Kili groused.  
"Leave him be, Fili," Thorin intervened. "He can be excited about a new skill. It is not a bad thing for a prince to know the weaponry of other peoples, particularly if war is ever upon you again. Glorious rooms, you say?"  
"Yes, since he had notice of our arrival and there weren't fifteen of us sweating in his courtyard, he made nice accommodation for us," Fili replied.  
Kili chimed in. "It was unbelievable!"  
"Bee says it was because the two of us were royalty, but it could not be for that reason alone, considering their room far outpaced ours!" Fili said.  
"What was so great about your room?" Thorin asked Kili and Bilbo.  
Kili explained, "We had a full suite with a private balcony, sunken bathing right in the floor in front of the hearth, giant bed, its own sitting room...I'll bet no dwarf has ever lived so well in Rivendell!"  
"Our room was no slouch, mind," Bofur said.  
"No, our room was pretty fantastic, too," Fili agreed.  
"Why would the second heir have a better room than the Crown Prince?" Dwalin asked. "Seems to me that is rather disrespectful of your title."  
"Kee and Bee were betrothed. A prince and an intended, I think Elrond gave them the suite as a gift," Fili said.  
Bofur nodded, agreeing with his mouth full. "Particularly since they had their second betrothal on Midsummer's Eve."  
"You can think that if you like, but I think it was because of Bilbo," Kili said.  
"Bilbo? Why Bilbo?" Dori asked.  
Kili shrugged. "Elrond treated him like a visiting dignitary, particularly after all our stories were told. Elrond deferred to him every bit as much as he deferred to our titles."  
"That much 'tis true," Bofur agreed. "Bee would have been an honored guest even had he gone without royalty, I imagine. The elves were just as taken with him as the rest of us."  
Bilbo was embarrassed. "Oh, you three, going on like that. Don't make such a fuss. I'm just a hobbit."  
"I can promise you, you are not 'just' anything, Bilbo," Thorin said.

****

Kili had jumped up to fill mugs from the keg.  
"Who else? Bifur? Nori?"  
Empty beers were passed down for the filling and handed back full.  
"Kili!" Thorin said, holding his mug out.

Kili filled it and handed it back with a grin. Thorin took the mug and took the hand Kili used to give it to him immediately after. He examined the ring there. It was a match for Bilbo's, slightly larger. Thorin glanced up at Kili. Kili ducked his head slightly and gave Thorin a small, shy smile in return. Thorin pointlessly wished yet again for Kili to have this with anyone other than Bilbo. Thorin wanted so badly to be happy for him.

****

"Bilbo, may I speak with you privately for a moment?" Thorin asked after dinner.  
Bilbo agreed and the two of them went outside.

Fili leaned toward Kili. "Do you need me to keep an eye on this?"  
"No, not at all," Kili said confidently. 

Bofur glanced nervously toward the door.

*****

"Is something the matter, Thorin?" Bilbo asked.

Bilbo knew the question was loaded, but the beer was pleasantly in his blood and the night had gone fairly well. Some awkward moments were had here and there--he and Kili weren't about to pretend they weren't getting married, and neither were Bofur or Fili--but Thorin was less sulky than he was in Erebor. Bilbo was curious what Thorin needed off on their own. 

Thorin nearly laughed at Bilbo's question. _Where should I start?_ he thought. 

"I wanted to thank you for what you did in there, not telling them how you found me," Thorin said.  
Bilbo replied, "I would never purposely embarrass you."  
Thorin let out a small chuckle. "It is embarrassing enough that I thought it would work."  
"Surely that is not why you pulled me out here, though."  
"No." Thorin took a steady breath. "I wish to ask you what is going on between you and Bofur?"  
"Excuse me?"  
"You and Bofur. Lingering looks, blushing smiles, giggles, and he talks as though you put the moon in the sky. Long ago, I thought Bofur had a wish to court you, though I thought he had moved past it. Are you planning on doing to Kili and Fili what you have done to me?"  
"Thorin Oakenshield, how dare you ask me such a thing? Of course not! I'm going to marry Kili, and I'm pretty sure Bofur would rather like to do the same to Fili."  
"You were going to marry me, too, but it did not make a difference in the end," Thorin said quietly.  
Bilbo felt Thorin's words cut him down to his gut. "Oh, Thorin."  
"I'm not happy to see you marry Kili, but I'd be far angrier if you broke Kili's and Fili's hearts. I'm still their kin and their king, and they are my heirs," Thorin warned.  
"Don't threaten me, Thorin," Bilbo warned back. "Bofur and I are very close, closer now than we've ever been. All of us are, truly, and it is only to be expected with as much time as we've spent together."  
"I'm not threatening you," Thorin said, his tone softening. "I would not see Kili's heart broken unless it meant mine was to be mended."  
"What Kili and I have is different, and you and I were not well-matched besides. We've been over this before."  
"You've been using that phrase for months, now. You used it as an excuse to break my heart, this 'not well-matched' nonsense. I don't see it that way. I loved you, you loved me, I wanted to spend time with you, you wanted to spend time with me, and when we made love-"  
"Stop. That was not enough on which to base a lifetime. Do not forget, you were also possessive, angry, bossy-"  
"I was just learning to love!"  
Bilbo countered, "So was I!"  
"I daresay you had more of a predisposition for such things," Thorin said quietly.  
Bilbo sighed. "Only to a point, Thorin. Not enough to keep people from getting hurt. Not enough to keep _you_ from getting hurt."

Thorin did not mean for this to devolve into a debate about their love. He let it be for now.

"So...Bofur?" he asked.  
"Not anything with which you need concern yourself," Bilbo replied.  
Thorn hummed. "Good. It is taxing enough being jealous of Kili."  
Bilbo gave Thorin a small smile.  
"Should we rejoin the party?" he asked.  
Thorin nodded deeply in assent. 

_That's enough for one night,_ Thorin thought to himself. He still had some things to discuss with Bilbo before he lost him to Kili forever.

*****

Instruments came out and the group--now complete, without Dwalin rushing back to the inn to check on Thorin--made merry until late with songs and tales. More was shared about Bilbo and Kili's betrothal, the time they spent in Rivendell, and how it had been for them in the Shire so far. Fili and Kili skipped mention of Dis's lack of approval for Bilbo when speaking of their trip to Ered Luin. Bilbo and Kili tried to underplay their love story, but the other dwarrows were there for a wedding, after all! Between the questions asked (from Dori, Ori, and Bifur, who had emerged as the secret romantics in the group) and the information volunteered by a tipsy Fili and Bofur, Bilbo fretted Thorin learned more than his heart wanted to know. The king kept on a polite face, though Bilbo figured him to be pretending not to listen from time to time.

The keg ran dry before the dwarves got too sloppy drunk. After putting a sizable dent in the pipe weed, 'good nights' were said and the group headed back toward the inn. Thorin was the last to walk out. Bofur and Thorin clasped forearms, though a true embrace still felt too friendly. Fili and Kili both received large hugs and forehead touches.

"I am very glad to see you both again," Thorin said. He was careful not to point out the circumstances of the visit were not pleasant.  
"I've missed you," Fili said.  
"As have I," Kili agreed. "I know there are harder and more awkward times in front of us and I do not know how to navigate them any better than you do, but the fact that you cared enough to come in spite of what this is costing you...well, I'm touched to the point of being near tears."  
Thorin felt a bit like he might cry himself. Instead, he cracked a wry smile. "Are you really going to throw in your lot with a dwarf who can't hold his liquor without weeping like a babe?" he teased Bilbo.  
Bilbo embraced him and brushed a gentle kiss against his cheek. "Thank you for being here, Thorin. I'm glad you changed your mind."  
Only Thorin saw Bilbo's wink at their little secret.

*****

When the door shut behind Thorin, Fili confessed, "Bilbo, Kili...we knew he was here."  
"You did?" Bilbo asked.  
Fili explained, rushing his words in his worry that Bilbo and Kili would be cross. "Bifur told Bo. We did not know if Thorin was planning something or if he was simply staying out of sight because it was too much for him. We were going to tell you, but we wanted to give it a few days. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."  
Kili laughed.  
"Wait, how is that funny?" Fili asked.  
"I thought I had figured it out myself yesterday, though I was not completely sure. Kili and I decided not to say or do anything about it yet," Bilbo said.  
"How 'bout that?" Bofur chuckled.  
Fili sighed in relief. "So it all worked itself out, then. I'm glad."

Bofur smiled but his heart wasn't in it. Thorin was unpredictable when it came to Bilbo. The looks Bilbo received tonight from Thorin (and the glares Bofur received) were like Lake Town all over again.

*****

Thorin perched in his bed, head too full for sleeping. He had not intended discovery, but a good dinner and a happy night in Bag End were much nicer than the loneliness of the meals prior. It always ached to see Bilbo without being the one to fuss over him, but he was still a sight for weary eyes. Thorin's chiefest fear when Bilbo left Erebor last was that Thorin would never see him again. In part, it was that very fear that drove him several hundred leagues west--leaving his tenuous kingship in the hands of Balin and Dain--to watch Bilbo marry someone else. Even now, the wedding still a couple weeks away, Thorin was already thinking about how hard it was going to be to leave Bilbo again.

This engagement was going to be the death of him as it was. Not one but _two_ betrothals? A special elvish suite by Elrond's leave for the happy occasion? Betrothal rings? He learned after dinner that Kili had them commissioned in Rivendell specifically due to Bilbo's affection for elves. Durin knows what else Kili showered upon Bilbo. _How hard did Kili have to try to outpace me?_ Thorin thought bitterly. Bilbo would have had a ring from Thorin, too, if he would not have left. Once the mountain was reclaimed and not contested, Thorin would have showered him with jewels, clothes, servants, rooms, gardens--anything he wanted would have been his! Even after their betrothal was ended, Thorin gifted him an entire chest of special jewels. 

And Midsummer's Eve? Thorin had spent Midsummer's Eve torturing himself thinking about Bilbo and what might have been while Bilbo had a fancy set of rooms and a sunken tub in which to make love! _Mahal,_ making love. The last thing Thorin had been holding onto with all this heartache was his bond with Bilbo. It was seeming likelier by the moment that it was no longer just his. He clutched that last thread of hope, though, that perhaps wanting to do things differently this time meant that Bilbo was making Kili wait.

He tried not to dwell, as difficult as it was. There were good things, too. Fili looked well. They all did, really, even if the dwarrows were half dressed like hobbits. At least their clothes were not ragged and threadbare any longer. They looked healthier than they had last time, too. Kili had the glow and the sparkle of one who was truly happy. Thorin felt a pang of guilt for wanting something that would dampen that light because Kili was beautiful in love, as was Bilbo. Kili seemed to have grown up some, too. All four of them had. Each one of them seemed more confident, more educated, more assured. Fili spoke to him at dinner of the things he had been learning along the way and his interest in diplomacy. Although Thorin still carried no great love for elves, he had to concede the knowledge Fili gained in Rivendell may have been helpful with Thranduil all those years ago. Fili (hopefully) had many years to go before his head wore the heaviest crown, but Thorin already saw in him the makings of the greatest king in many a century.

Thorin got comfortable under his covers and thought again of his Bilbo. Bilbo's hair was longer than ever and looking delightfully dwarvish. At dinner, Bilbo mentioned cutting it to a respectable hobbit length now that he was home, promising Kili he'd preserve the braided section long. The thought horrified Thorin, but he knew hobbits did not feel the same about their hair as dwarves did. It grew much quicker, for one thing, but it also wasn't their culture. Thorin hoped for Kili's sake that Bilbo would think to save the cuttings. It would be a grave occasion, indeed, that would move a dwarf to cut their locks, but it was preserved if it had to happen. At least Bilbo was planning on keeping the courting braid in his hair. As hateful as it was to Thorin that Bilbo had it in the first place, the part of Thorin that loved Kili knew how devastating it would be if Bilbo cut it off, too. Thorin remembered how gutted he was when Smaug burned away Bilbo's teeny courting braid. Plaited sections of hair were held even more sacred than the length. 

Thorin relaxed a little more into the cozy bed. He wished he had something that smelled like Bilbo. Maybe he could tell Bilbo he wanted another pillow or a blanket at the inn and ask to borrow one of his. That way, he could go to sleep smelling Bilbo while thinking of his hair, his eyes, his voice, and his smile. Bilbo was very kind when he found him today--asking straight away for a hug, insisting on dinner, and not embarrassing him in front of Fili and Kili--but the thing that touched Thorin most was Bilbo's genuine smile when they gazed upon each other after months of separation. Moreover, simply being close to Bilbo again filled an emptiness to which Thorin had nearly become accustomed. 

How was he going to withstand this?

*****

"He's still madly in love with Bee, you know," Bofur said. He was comfortably wrapped up in Fili's arms in their bed, letting his mind drift.  
"He never stopped, Bo. You knew that."  
"It feels different now. The stakes are higher than they've ever been for Kee. _He_ is the intended this time. The stakes are higher for us, too," Bofur said.  
"Us? How do you figure?"  
"Kee and Bee have grown dearer to me than ever before, as Bee has to you. Gandalf said it himself: the four of us are special. What we've been doing lately has only pulled us closer. It means a lot to me, Fee. I have a gut feeling that if Thorin endangers what Kee has with Bee, it will have negative consequences for all of us. He needs to back off--Bee was ours first."  
"He was Thorin's first," Fili argued. He regretted it when Bofur tensed in his arms.  
"I understand what you mean, Bo," Fili said with a more soothing tone, "and I feel a new trepidation I've never felt before because of it, but he was Thorin's first, not ours. Luckily for us, it is not based on early claims but what Bee wants, and he wants Kee. He wants this life in the Shire. Bee has had his chance with Thorin, repeatedly, and he's walked away every time."  
"If you say so," Bofur said, unsure.  
Fili kissed his head. "I do say so. The only one I'm worried about here is Kee. I don't want some huge, avoidable misunderstanding simply because Thorin is within hugging distance from Bee again."  
"I'll feel much better once this wedding has happened, I can tell you that much," Bofur said. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, dears! I love your comments, especially the commentary and the quotes. You are all appreciated!!


	9. That's Why It Hurts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo has a nice morning with Kili, but Thorin has Kili's afternoon.

Bilbo woke before Kili and spent a few moments watching his beloved sleep. Kili had little to say about Thorin the night before, not so much as hinting to want to know about their private talk. Kili and Bilbo talked about Thorin in regards to dinner, of course, like they would anyone, but Kili only instigated one short conversation to discuss Bilbo and Thorin's former relationship.

_"Do you feel it still? The bond?"_  
_"A bit, sort of like an itch too far below my skin to alleviate. It is different than it was before, though."_  
_"Different how?"_  
_"I still have affection for him--a corner of my heart will love him always, I suppose--but the pull I'm feeling on the bond is stronger in body than heart and mind."_  
_"And me? How do I affect you?"_  
_"I'm constantly amazed how our bond invades all three. I do not want you to fret, dear heart. There's only one person in the whole of Middle Earth I wish to marry, and I'm about to make love to him."_  
_"Is he hiding under the bed?"_

Bilbo grinned at the memory. Kili was always making him laugh at strange times. Bilbo remembered positively _cackling_ before pushing Kili roughly onto his back and showing him exactly whom to whom Bilbo was referring.

Bilbo kissed Kili awake. He wanted to take some time and some fresh air with just the two of them. Fili and Bofur had been present for most of their Shire explorations so far. They had been welcome, but Bilbo developed a longing to take Kili out alone. After Thorin's appearance last night, Bilbo thought it would be particularly good for Kili for the two of them to have a morning to themselves.

The mornings had grown cooler than they had been in August, but Shire Septembers were still very pleasant. Kili and Bilbo did not have to bother to dress warmly to go walking. Holding hands, Bilbo showed Kili some of his favorite places off the road. He brought him along his favorite mushroom hunting paths, over a footbridge that spanned a narrow creek that grew deeper and larger downstream towards the peach grove, and they eventually wound up at the Party Tree. Kili had demanded to visit it the first day they had all gone exploring, but it was a different experience when it was simply the two of them. Along their way, Bilbo had picked pinkweed, asters, and dittany. They sat at the base of the enormous tree, pulling apart their courting braids and winding them back together with the wildflowers. Light kisses grew heated and Kili wound up in Bilbo's lap, pressing him against the tree in question.

"One night when the Shire is sound asleep, I want to return to this spot and make love," Kili murmured.  
"What is it with you and trees?" Bilbo teased. "Such propensities make you seem more elvish than dwarvish."

Kili's stomach growled loud, seemingly irritated that all his mouth's activity did not mean food was on the way. He rubbed his abdomen.

"And this makes me a hobbit," Kili joked.  
"We did skip breakfast. I didn't realize we'd be out so long."  
Kili stood and held out a hand for Bilbo. "We'll head back. I'll make you pancakes."  
"Handsome _and_ he makes pancakes! Someone should marry a fellow like you."  
"Someone really should," Kili chuckled.

 

*****

Bilbo sent Fili to see if Thorin wanted to join them for breakfast, believing Thorin would sooner skip the meal than impose. Fili returned with Thorin, Ori, and Bifur besides. The other dwarrows were having a lie-in or had already explored breakfast options elsewhere. Kili mixed more batter while Bilbo made eggs and sausage to accommodate their larger number.

Fili wanted to spend time with Thorin, both alone and with Kili--like the times before the expedition to Erebor and all the heartache that followed. Regardless, he also realized Kili and Thorin needed time with each other without Fili, Bilbo, or Bofur hanging about. Putting his brother's needs before his own, he suggested to Bofur that the two of them should take Bifur out and around. The giant smiles he received from Bofur and Bifur were incredibly satisfying.

Bilbo sensed Fili might have been up to something when he suggested Bofur and Bifur split off with him for the day. Fili's scheming to get Bilbo alone with Kili all those times hadn't been met with blind eyes, after all. Observing the glances Fili kept shooting Kili and Thorin, Bilbo recognized he was not the purpose this time around. He suggested a little hobbit research to Ori, resulting in an excited screech from the dwarf. When Bilbo mentioned the possibility of stopping at the cakers to try some samples, Ori was practically scratching at the door to leave.

"Everyone is running off and leaving me," Kili said, knowing full well that he was welcome to join either expedition if he wished. "Will you be leaving, too, Thorin? Or would you like to spend some of the day with me?"  
"If other things do not need your attention," Thorin replied.  
"Nothing that wouldn't warrant yours, too," Kili said happily.

 

*****

The other two groups had wandered off in opposite directions. Kili sat outside Bag End with Thorin, having a satisfying pre-Elevensies pipe.

"Wait, so we're going to eat _again_?" Thorin asked.  
Kili shrugged. "We do not have to, the two of us, but I'm generally trying to get Bilbo back into the habit of eating like a hobbit again. He had spoken of it before, but it wasn't until I was here a few days that I realized how much the poor thing was starving on the trip to Erebor."  
"I knew he had gotten thin, but you make it sound as though he was near death!" Thorin said, a bit defensive.  
"No, hobbits are extremely resilient. His body just...adapted after a while. Seeing the way they eat, it is a wonder Bilbo wasn't as round as he was tall, so he seems to acclimate to both too much as well as too little."  
"He said they ate six or seven meals a day, but I figured it to be little meals here and there."  
"I thought so, too, but I was wrong. For example, we've had a late breakfast but typically there are two, with sweets to follow a little after the second one. Then it is lunch, followed by another round of sweets and tea. Then there is the full evening meal. There's another small meal behind it, but we haven't gotten as far as adding it yet. We don't even do all the others on a given day--he's still mostly on elf and dwarf food schedule."  
Thorin was astonished. "No wonder everyone's faces are rounder and pinker! Mahal, all those days we subsisted on one or two pieces of cram twice a day! He must have been in agony!"  
"I'm sure he wasn't thrilled, but he adjusted. What else could he do?" Kili said.

Thorin's shoulders slumped and he looked so guilty, Kili couldn't stand it.

"It was not as though we were feasting while feeding him cram. We all weathered tough times together," Kili said soothingly.  
"But it was I who forced the siege. I forced the siege _knowing_ we only had stale cram to eat," Thorin said barely above a whisper. He glanced at Kili, a haunted look in his eyes. "I almost...I almost killed him for trading the stone to end the siege...to end his own suffering."  
Kili could sense where Thorin's thoughts were going and it was nowhere good. "There were easily a half dozen reasons Bilbo made that trade, all of them for the good of not only us but the future of Erebor. You can't keep dragging yourself over notched axe-blades for the same thing over and over. I do not want to imagine what you've been doing to yourself in Erebor all this time, but I'll wager self-torture and starvation are pretty high on the list judging by how loosely your clothes fit. I can already see health returning to your skin, simply having been here for a couple meals with the three of us making you clean your plate. Living in the past has not been good for you, Thorin. Join us in the present."

Thorin was going to reply, but they were interrupted by the hobbit from the gardens.

Holman approached Kili. "Mister Baggins? Someone brought a package for you and Mister Bilbo."  
"Thank you! And it is simply Kili, Holman, please," Kili said, accepting the gift.  
Holman nodded once. "Mister Kili."

Holman went back to his work as Kili looked at the box curiously. When he looked back up, Thorin was _staring_ at him.

"What?"  
"Mister Baggins?"  
Kili quirked the corner of his mouth bashfully. "Bilbo suggested living in the Shire would be easier for me if I had a hobbit name, so he's giving me his."  
" _Kili Baggins_?" Thorin said, incredulously.  
"Well, yes."

Thorin felt a bolt of jealousy go through him, followed by a wash of irritation that Kili, a prince of the line of Durin, was living with a _hobbit_ name. Would Bilbo have insisted upon such nonsense had he married Thorin? Thorin bristled at a future where he would have been known as _Thorin Baggins_. Bilbo asked too much.

 _I thought you'd do anything to have him back,_ a voice said in the back of his mind. Thorin ignored it.

Thorin argued, "You are a prince, for Mahal's sake!"  
"A prince without the proper name for living in the Shire. What was I supposed to be? Kili Erebor? Kili Durin? Kili Nolison? Kili _Thorinson_? Because you are certainly acting like my father right now."  
"I am _not_ acting like your father, I am your king!"  
"And I am still a prince, Thorin," Kili insisted, "but I am going to be Bilbo's husband and we are living in the Shire. It is common for a hobbit name to be shared with a spouse and since I did not have one to start with, I am taking Bilbo's. I'd probably take his anyway, to tell you the truth. It is a known hobbit name, and it is his. I rather like the idea of sharing that with him."

The sadness that Kili's argument gave Thorin quelled a fair amount of his annoyance. He and Kili had not discussed the marriage yet, not privately between themselves. If they were to talk, they may as well take it all the way.

"Thorin?" Kili ventured, noticing Thorin's attention had drifted.  
"Why don't you put that parcel in the house and come back to the inn with me? I have something to show you," Thorin said.

 

*****

Kili unwrapped the large bundle Thorin gave him. Inside was an elaborate ensemble: trousers, long tunic, undershirt, jacket, coat, belt, and several pieces he didn't recognize--a complete outfit, minus boots but including outerwear. The fabrics were rich velvets, silks, and brocades in blues, slates, and blacks. Kili suspected the numerous gold and silver details were actual gold and silver. Diamonds and sapphires dotted cuffs, collars, the belt, and more. Kili smoothed over the pieces with trembling hands, each one as gorgeous as the next. He had never seen such finery on a dwarf in all his days, not even Thorin when they revisited Erebor. He was not sure he even knew how to put it all on in the correct order. He looked up at Thorin in wonder.

Thorin cleared his throat. "Dwalin was supposed to give this to you as the date approached. The other package on the floor contains the boots. I thought perhaps you might enjoy being wed in royal dwarven raiment instead of hobbit clothes."

Kili stared at Thorin as though he had never seen another dwarf before. His throat flexed with tight swallows and his eyes threatened to fill.

Thorin did not know what to do with Kili's expression or his silence, so he rambled. "I also have clothes for Fili and Bofur, although they aren't as grand. I did not figure any of the clothes they took from Erebor were still fine enough for such an occasion, and of course they didn't think to pack for this eventuali-oooph!"

Kili had launched himself at Thorin, surprising him and startling his breath. Kili clung to Thorin so tightly it nearly pulled the older dwarf's hair.

"Oh, Thorin!" Kili's muffled voice came from somewhere next to Thorin's ear.

Thorin had been momentarily stunned by the sudden display but quickly recovered and wrapped his arms around Kili. They stayed like that for longer than either bothered to count, Kili weeping into Thorin's hair. Thorin's eyes mutinously shed tears of their own. Kili pulled back to speak.

"Thorin, what am I going to do with you? The crowns, the clothes...it all means so much to me, more than you will ever know. I want to do something for you, something to show you how much I love you, how sorry I am to have hurt you."

Thorin sighed. He reached up and tenderly rolled Kili's braid between his fingers, brushing over a couple of the wildflowers there. He recalled the Lake Town incident when Bilbo had no idea what this gesture meant. There was no doubt Bilbo knew now.

He said, "There's nothing you _can_ do, Kili. I'm doing these things for you as both your kin and your king, because it is what is right and because I do want your happiness. However, although I'm putting on the proper show of acceptance, this is proving to be very difficult."  
"I know it is. I'm stunned you are here. I'm stunned by these gifts, what they mean, and what they must have cost your heart to give them. I saw your stamp in the crown, Thorin. I know you forged them yourself."  
Thorin's mouth betrayed a tiny smile. "You would have loved the shock and the talk that came with the king spending his evenings in the forge. It was nearly a scandal."  
Kili smiled, too. "I _would_ have loved that. Maybe I got a little of my recklessness from you, after all."  
"I nearly did not come here," Thorin admitted. "On the road, I realized I had neither the stomach nor the courage for this. I changed my plan and decided to be here for the two of you but in secret. Dwalin would speak for me officially and I would hide and watch it all happen. I planned on writing you and telling you later that I did not miss it. Bilbo lied for me the other night, Kili. He found my hiding place and refused to let me alone, an impulse for which I'm now grateful. He did not tell you and Fili the truth to save me the shame."  
"But you're glad now, right? Glad to be with us?"  
Thorin stood to pace. "Thrilled and heartbroken. I'm so proud of you and your brother. You've grown so much in the time we've been apart, coming into your own. I love to see you and talk to you...but then Bilbo joins you at your side. He wears your ring and you all talk of the wedding that I still feel in my heart should have been mine."  
"Thorin-"  
"I still love him. I love him more than ever. I miss him down to my marrow. I see him smile and my insides _still_ turn to pudding. It was this feeling I was hoping to avoid, but there is no running from it. And I know--I truly do--that you two are going to be wed and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I don't know what I would do even were I to try, honestly. Everything I've attempted in the past to try to win his heart again has only resulted in strengthening his resolve that marriage to me was not his destiny. Some part of me has always believed, though. Believed, hoped, yearned that one day yet I would hold him bare and soft in my arms as he whispered to me words of love again. I always thought...well, never mind what I thought." Thorin sighed. "I don't even think I was in my right mind the last time we coupled, not that I would have known to savor it. I would give all the gold in Erebor for one last night with him, one I could actually remember."

Kili's eyes were filling anew and he bit his lip.

Noticing Kili's change in demeanor, Thorin said, "I suppose this is not an appropriate conversation to have about your intended. Had you spoken to me like this when Bilbo was _my_ intended, we likely would have come to blows. I apologize, Kili."  
Kili swallowed thickly and shook his head, wiping at his eyes. "No, you loved him. You _love_ him. I do not know if I would be able to sit here like this with you were our situations reversed. I have no words of comfort for you, Thorin. Either your heart breaks or mine does, and the choice is not either of ours to make."  
Thorin breathed deep and tried to collect his dignity. "Bilbo made his choice. He's made it many times, in fact, in spite of the kisses he's given me."  
"I've seen him give you some pretty toe-curling kisses," Kili agreed.  
"He feels the bond, as do I. His calls to me, as I imagine mine calls to him. His blood will always be stirred by me, but it is small consolation when I do not have his love."  
"He cares for you, Thorin. I promise you that he does."  
"Not enough, Kili. Not in the way I want."  
"I'm so sorry," Kili said, glancing at the floor. "I am sorry I kept after him once I found about you two. I did not set out to betray you. I just fell in love."  
Thorin tipped Kili's chin up. "It is not your fault. No matter the love between you, had he loved me enough, we would have triumphed in the end. You did not give me the dragon sickness which broke our betrothal. Even had he been all alone, it is likely Bilbo would have still used that time apart to decide the same things. He's not once spoken of the dissolution of our union as having anything to do with you. Every time we've discussed it, he has been very clear it was me--my faults, my behavior, sometimes even my own destiny--as the reason we should not be wed. I thought our love, our sex, our friendship could transcend these problems. I blamed you for a long while because it was much easier than looking in the mirror and knowing Bilbo did not believe I was the one for him."

Thorin brushed a soft kiss across Kili's lips, barely enough for Kili to tell had his eyes been closed.

"I apologize for the things I've said to you," Thorin said. "This is between Bilbo and me. I have been far too cruel."  
"There are some who might say you've not been cruel enough. However, the truth of the matter is this: I've been in love with Bilbo practically since the night we met. I used to dream of living here with him, even as we were on our way to reclaim Erebor, long before I knew you held tender feelings for him. None of this was ever about you, not from my end. I will hate until my last breath that we tangled in such a heart-rending rivalry. It had been my fear that my love for Bilbo had cost me yours."

Thorin shook his head. "Of course I still love you. That's why it hurts."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a short one, but hopefully not too short on feels.


	10. What We See

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Antsy dwarrows, a suspicious Thorin, a defensive Fili, and a near-miss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit short, but the next two updates already clock in at about 10,000 words between them, possibly more before I'm done.

Dwalin was already restless in the Shire. Thorin was preoccupied with Bilbo and the princes and, although the dinners at Bilbo's were admittedly pleasant, another several days of Shire life before the big party sounded a bit dull. He did not have Ori's or the other dwarrows' fascination with hobbits. After discussing the princes' recent trip to Ered Luin, Dwalin thought it might do him so good to take the trip there and back while they were so close, doing it ahead of the wedding instead of after. 

"You realize Dis may already be on her way here," Thorin said.  
Dwalin feigned innocence. "I do not go back to Ered Luin simply to see Dis, though if she should be departing closer to the 22nd, I would gladly accompany her. I think it would help to go back and speak of Erebor to any dwarrows--particularly merchants and craftspeople--who may be reluctant to make the trip based on a few letters and little more. Fili and Kili did not stay long enough or visit with many other than their mother, they said. Perhaps the caravan back would grow larger if they knew Dale would be rebuilding or were made aware of the region's desire for more dwarf-made goods for trade."  


Thorin wanted to tease Dwalin, but he could not deny he did have a good point. They could yet use more of every manner of skill and trade in Erebor. It would also be easier to justify making this trip if Thorin could return with more support of any type.

When Dwalin shared his plan, Nori was ready to pack and go that moment. Oin expressed a wish to go along as well, as long as it could be promised they would return in time for the wedding. Ori was firm about staying in the Shire. He had made good friends with a pair of hobbits who had just come of age (Chadham and Thodora) and was enjoying himself very much. Dori was torn whether to stay and keep an eye on Ori or to go and keep Nori out of trouble. Although his first instinct was to coddle the youngest, he had to admit Ori was safe and content in the Shire, with or without Dori's presence. Indeed, Dori rather feared Ori would not wish to return to Erebor when the time came. Bifur had an interest in Ered Luin, but was not willing to forgo the week that could be spent near Bofur, so he declined. 

While Thorin appreciated having the other dwarrows with him (particularly Dwalin), he was relieved he would have a few days in the Shire without them (particularly Dwalin). Had he his druthers, every one of his co-travelers would have taken the detour to Ered Luin. All those eyes on him--and Bilbo's attention split so many ways--made him antsy. 

Bilbo, Kili, Fili, and Bofur spent all day making food once Dwalin and Thorin agreed Dwalin should go, making meals both for the road as well as laying out yet another enormous feast for that evening. Shire honey was not quite as delicious as Beorn's, but Bilbo had learned Beorn's recipe for honey cake and made sure to send the group off with plenty. He also purchased them a barrel of pipe weed for the road and sneaked Dwalin his own private batches of cookies. Dwalin's resolve to dislike Bilbo for the rest of his life was proving difficult to keep firm when Bilbo was such a thoughtful and generous host.

*****

Fili kissed Bofur heatedly, working him open with his fingers. Bofur sucked in a breath and quivered.  
" _Fuck,_ you've got forever to stop that," Bofur panted.  
"Do you think I'll still be fucking you when I'm as grey as Balin?"  
"Thorin is older than Balin and he had no problem with Bilbo. _Really_ no problem, to hear Bilbo tell it," Bofur said.  
"If you want me to be hard enough to use this hole I'm stretching, you can't talk about Thorin like that."  
"We watch Kili and Bilbo. What is the difference?"  
"We watch two bodies having sex, one of whom happens to be Kili," Fili explained.  
"I think you're splitting hairs."  
Fili twisted his fingers inside Bofur. "And I think I must not be doing this right if you can still argue with me."  
Bofur moaned. "Oh, you're doing it right. Believe me."

Fili and Bofur stayed too distracted and wrapped up in each other to discuss anything but their own lovemaking until well after the shuddering and moaning had ceased.

Fili draped over Bofur, happy with heavy limbs, twisting little horns into his chest hair as they talked quietly.  
"Do you think Bilbo and Kili will allow us to share the bed we're making?" Fili asked Bofur.  
"Share it? Like the night we made love on their mattress beside them?"  
"Yes, or change their minds about what we're allowed to do." Fili ventured.  
"I'd be happy just to be allowed to stay and sleep when we were done. That is going to be the finest bed west of Rivendell!"  
"Hmm, I suppose it would be bad taste to test the mattress first?"  
"A stained mattress is a poor wedding gift," Bofur joked.  
"Details, details," Fili teased back.  
Bofur lazily threaded his fingers through Fili's hair. "I know you were simplifying earlier, about the bodies thing, but y'know it is not like that for me, right? With them, I mean. With, um, with...him. Don't you?"  
Fili kissed him. "Wouldn't be much of a bond-mate if I didn't."

*****

The morning after Dwalin's wagon heading off to Ered Luin, Thorin showed up for breakfast. At Bilbo and Kili's insistence, he stopped waiting for someone to fetch him to join them for the morning meal. This particular day, Bifur slept in as usual--Bofur rarely saw him before Second Breakfast. after all--and Ori was likely having breakfast somewhere with Thodora and Chadham. Bilbo suspected Ori was sweet on one of them, but he could not tell whom. Based on their conversations in Erebor and considering Ori's early crush on Fili, he would have thought it was Chadham, but Ori wore a goofy smile whenever Thodora was mentioned, so who could say for sure?

After a large breakfast and a pleasant pipe, Bilbo thought Kili and Fili might like some more time on their own with Thorin. Bilbo frequently seemed to be in the middle of things, considering he lived there. He did not want to be in the way of Kili mending things with Thorin, not any more than was necessary. Bilbo felt for Fili, too, who had not been a priority for Thorin in the face of all this relationship drama. He figured it was the first time in Fili's life to be second to Kili where Thorin was concerned and could not imagine it to be very pleasant.

"If it is not too rude of me to leave company, I have several errands to run," Bilbo said. "I'm sure you dwarves could use a break from hobbits for a minute--or several."  
"Oi, Bilbo, would you need another pair of hands?" Bofur asked, figuring to leave the brothers to enjoy some family time with Thorin. Thorin had been glaring at him more often, too, and Bofur would rather not have to spend the rest of the morning being the recipient of Thorin's calculating looks.  
"Hands and company on the walk would both be appreciated," Bilbo confirmed. 

He disappeared into the pantry and came out with a cloth covered plate. He uncovered it and revealed an arrangement of honey cakes dusted with powdered sugar.

"Just in case we're still gone by Elevensies." Noting the spark of interest in Thorin's eyes, Bilbo added, "Knowing you would envy the basket that went with Dwalin, I made you your own batch. If they so happen to all get eaten between now and our return, well...I can't imagine anyone having a problem with it, hmm?"  
"I'm going to leave here as round as Bombur!" Thorin exclaimed gleefully. "Thank you, Bilbo."  
"Are you ready, Bo?" Bilbo asked.  
Bofur joined him at the door.  
"You three enjoy yourselves and stay out of trouble, or at least have the trouble cleaned up by lunch," Bilbo added cheerfully.

The "Bo" irritated Thorin, as did Bofur's hand at the small of Bilbo's back as they disappeared over the hill. Holman borrowed Kili's attention shortly after Bilbo's departure, leaving Thorin a moment alone with Fili to express his displeasure. 

"Does it not bother you how familiar Bilbo and Bofur are? All this 'Bee' and 'Bo' nonsense?" Thorin asked him.  
"Considering I started all that 'Bee' and 'Bo' nonsense, not really."  
"What about the smiles? The long looks? The blushing?" Thorin pressed.  
Fili replied evenly, "It has always been that way with them, long before me...or you, for that matter."  
"Yes, and Bilbo was always 'best friends' with Kili, and you saw how that worked out for me," Thorin reminded him.  
"Thorin, let it go. I understand what happened between you and Bilbo was devastating, but anyone who loves takes that risk."  
"No, just anyone who loves a hobbit," Thorin said darkly. "And you _won't_ understand, Fili, not unless it happens to you. That is what was I trying to help you avoid. I suppose you won't have my problem, being in love with one of your own kind."

Fili did not reply, unable to think of a response that wouldn't simply escalate the argument or give Thorin too much information about their personal lives. Thorin did not need to know what happened in their bedroom or Kili's either one, nor did he need to be privy to the secrets of Bofur's heart.

Thorin muttered, "Why must hobbits be so complicated? Dwarrows don't do this 'in love with more than one person' business!"  
"How do you know?" Fili challenged.  
"Because I know! It just isn't done, Fili."  
"It must be done because we have penalties in place for when it happens, for when a dwarf woos away the lover of another. Wasn't that what the whole problem with Kili in court was about?"  
"But it isn't done often! It isn't done by _respectable_ dwarves!"  
"Are you saying Kili is not respectable? Or did you only mean to insinuate Bofur?"  
"Neither, but..."  
"And because there are rules and penalties, do you not think more people live quietly, perhaps suffer silently while their heart is torn in two?"  
Thorin looked at Fili suspiciously. "What are you trying to say? I swear to _all the Valar_ , Fili, if you say you are in love with Bilbo-"  
"-I'm not saying I'm in love with Bilbo, but hobbits do not have the only propensity in all of Middle Earth for loving more than one person in a lifetime."

Kili bounced in, wiping the garden off his boots and onto the mat. Fili looked annoyed and Thorin looked sour. 

"Hey!" Kili said, glancing between them. "What did I miss?" 

*****

"Are you going to tell me?" Bofur asked.  
"What?"  
"I've seen Thorin corner you at least twice. What's his plan this time?"  
Bilbo's cheek twitched. "No plan. He's trying to...well, I don't know what he's trying to do. Trying to do right by Kili, maybe? Attempting to show us he'd rather have this than nothing?"  
"Or re-live Lake Town," Bofur added.  
"No," Bilbo protested.  
Bofur glanced sideways at Bilbo. "Have you seen the looks I've been getting? That _you've_ been getting? He wants to fight me and fuck you, not necessarily in that order."  
Bilbo shuffled along, dragging his feet slightly.  
"Your lack of argument tells me you've seen it, too, so I'll ask you again--are you going to tell me?"  
Bilbo exhaled upward, blowing a hair away from his cheek. "We've actually not spoken of much that is private. He's asked after our rings..."  
Bofur stopped walking, grabbing Bilbo's hand to stay him as well.  
Bofur's tone was firm but beseeching. "Bee, what are you keeping from me?"  
Bilbo confessed, "He's asked me about _you_. He thinks there's something going on with us."  
"Does he, now?" Bofur asked softly.  
"He's always been jealous of you, you know. It lessened for a while, but as you've noticed, it seems to be as bad now as it ever was. Worse, maybe."  
Bofur stepped forward into Bilbo's space, just short of pressing against him. "Why do you think that is?"  
Bilbo glanced at the ground and shrugged shyly. "We're closer, both from the time we've spent together as well as our, uh, rather unique unlocked door arrangement. He's noticing us noticing each other, for lack of a better way to put it."  
Bofur tipped up Bilbo's chin delicately.  
"What do you think he sees?" he murmured.  
Bilbo gazed up into Bofur's eyes.  
 _He sees this_ , Bilbo thought.

"Bilbo!" Ori shouted happily, startling them both. "Just the hobbit we needed to see! Hello, Bofur!"  
Bilbo stepped back instinctively as Ori and his hobbit friends ran toward them.  
He coughed nervously. "What are the three of you up to?" he asked.  
"We need you to settle a dispute on the matter of mince pies!" Thodora said. 

Bofur watched with amusement from a few paces behind as Bilbo was dragged to the marketplace. He was not sure if he was disappointed or relieved. He convinced himself it was probably for the best. More delicate matters were best discussed in private along with their lovers, not on their own. Bofur himself had once noted it was hazardous for them to tease and play without Fili and Kili.

Bofur wasn't playing, though. Not anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I ended "Wait..." for the faint of heart? And promised angst? I wasn't kidding around. Starting next chapter, check the tags for trigger warnings and squicks. 
> 
> If you think something is going to "ruin this fic" for you, remember Chapter 100 of "Wait..." was ended there _specifically_ to be your non-complicated, no-more-angst, happiest of possible happy endings.


	11. Love, Thy Will Be Done: Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get out of hand at Bag End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Banner by sradanvers.tumblr.com
> 
> If you have significant triggers/squicks, please check the updated tags. 
> 
> This chapter had to be split in three because it was close to 30,000 words. This section is 10,000+ words.

Fili's concerns about Thorin being in town to hinder Kili and Bilbo's union had relaxed some. Thorin would not be so concerned about Bofur messing things up if that had been the case.

 _Or perhaps Thorin doesn't want Bofur impeding his pursuit of Bilbo,_ came a thought from the back of Fili's mind.

Fili shook it off. Listening to his paranoid thoughts caused the horrible misunderstanding with all the "King's Privilege" mess. Being aware was not the same as being an alarmist. Besides, Thorin was seeing how good Bilbo and Kili were for each other, together here in the Shire. He listened when they shared their stories and kept biting comments to himself. He had gifted them with crowns and even provided Kili full wedding regalia. These were not the acts of someone who was going to stop the wedding from happening.

At any rate, once the cloud of the unpleasant conversation about Bofur had been lifted, Fili, Kili, and Thorin had a lovely morning. Bilbo and Bofur returned at lunchtime, accompanied by Ori, Chadham, and Thodora. Bifur showed up around the same time and it was a good thing, too, because Bilbo and Ori had returned with an unusual number of pies from the market. There was an explanation from the younger hobbits with Ori interrupting cheerfully now and then, which left Fili with no more understanding than when they started. Fili, Bofur, and Bifur crept off after lunch, leaving the rest of them to sort it all out.

 

*****

Gandalf came in late, after their dwarven company had left for the night and most of the supper remnants had been cleaned up. Bilbo and Kili put together a late meal for their friend while Fili and Bofur played music in the parlour. Bilbo was so busy asking questions about Gandalf's whereabouts and answering questions about his current well-being that mentioning Thorin--or anyone from Erebor--fully slipped his mind.

Gandalf was road-weary and hadn't thought to ask much outside of making sure Bilbo was in a right and happy mind. Elrond's warning and Gandalf's own curiosity about the ring were the only things taking precedence above his wish for food and rest. He informed Bilbo he was riding to the Southfarthing in the morning and Buckland tomorrow afternoon, though he purposefully rode to Bilbo's first, wanting to assure the hobbit he had arrived well in advance of the wedding.

After Gandalf finished eating, Bilbo said, "With Bofur and Fili here, I still have one empty room with a bed. It is a bit larger than hobbit-sized. I daresay you could probably grab a fair few winks in it if you slept corner to corner."

Remembering the interrupted sleep at Beorn's and considering Bag End housed at least one couple who were nigh onto newlyweds, Gandalf was not confident he would be grabbing _any_ winks under this roof, even if the bed had been the size of Elrond's.

"No, no," Gandalf said. "I could not put you out. You've already fixed me a meal of my own and the inn is not far."  
"Nonsense! You almost fell asleep on your plate--twice!" Bilbo pointed out. "I'll go dress the bed right now."

Gandalf had stood up to kings, generals, and even other hobbits, but there was little for it when Bilbo was determined like this. He chuckled to himself remembering how firm Bilbo was about not going on the quest the night Gandalf brought Thorin's company to his house. It was only Bilbo's deep Tookish desire to see the world beyond his door that made him give chase the following morning, not Gandalf's powers of persuasion.

The house quieted when Gandalf went to bed, the dwarrows and Bilbo having seen how tired the wizard was. Doors were not closed flush, but no one intended to sneak out of their room for erotic games while Gandalf was resting down the corridor.

Nothing was stopping Bilbo from making love with Kili, though. He cherished their nights together far too much. Whatever was between Bilbo and Bofur seemed different than what was between Kili and Bilbo. He did not feel the need to choose, nor did he feel lost or sad in bed with Kili when Bofur was down the hall, not like he did when he was betrothed to Thorin.  Bofur or no, Bilbo had no second thoughts about Kili.  His excitement about being married to him grew with each day. Kili was what dwarves would call Bilbo's Chosen; Bilbo's attraction to Bofur did not loosen Kili's hold.

Silently, with only the sound of their breath and soft whispers, Bilbo gave Kili everything he had until they both collapsed against each other, gooey and sated.

 

*****

Thorin was in bed, wrapped in a blanket borrowed from Bag End. His thoughts were again on Bilbo. It had been interesting these past few days, observing Bilbo in the Shire. It was vastly different from the night they met, when Bilbo was a stuttering ball of confusion and rage with a home full of unexpected company. In day-to-day Shire life, Bilbo had a quiet, comfortable confidence Thorin had never noticed before. Perhaps it was being home at last, in his own element, or maybe it was the self-possession of someone who had faced danger, death, and heartbreak and lived to tell the tales between great forkfuls of buttered potatoes. The hobbit's strength and resilience had always intrigued Thorin, and he found himself drawn to Bilbo in a fresh way altogether. He knew another reason to be attracted to Bilbo was the last thing he needed.

 

*****

Kili was already snoozing and Bilbo was halfway to joining him, pondering the issue of Bofur. This thing between them had always been manageable in the context of their friendship, but it was getting harder to ignore how it had grown. How much longer could they contain it? Did they _need_ to contain it? Fili seemed game for expanding their play, and Kili certainly did not seem to mind. Indeed, Kili was suggesting most of the things Bilbo was trying to keep himself from doing. It was not affecting how Bilbo felt about Kili or Fili, either one. So what if they touched? What if they _kissed_? Bilbo wondered--how far was too far?

*****

Gandalf's stirring woke Bilbo early the next morning, well before Bilbo would have made breakfast. Gandalf declined Bilbo's offer to cook for him, but happily packed along some fruit and some seed cake to carry him over until his first meal of the day. Bilbo wandered sleepily back to bed.

He woke again to a knock on the door. Bifur was up surprisingly early and ready to fetch Bofur and Fili for the day. The three of them were quiet about what they had been doing with all this running off together, but Bilbo suspected (rightly) they were working on Bilbo and Kili's wedding gift.

Thorin arrived about halfway through breakfast and tucked away any bites that had gone unclaimed by the rest of them. Bilbo smiled. Thorin was already looking much healthier than when he arrived. Bilbo would be happy to stuff him with everything in the pantry if it kept the hollow from the king's cheeks and encouraged the sparkle in his eyes.

Kili and Bilbo worked on cleaning up from breakfast with Kili handling the dishes. Thorin helped by walking over the plates from the table. Bilbo watched Thorin move with growing concern.

"Thorin, why are you limping?" Bilbo asked.  
"It is nothing."  
"It is not _nothing,_. Nothing would mean you weren't favoring a leg!"  
"A foot, actually. Something in my boot has been poking me. Hobbits don't wear shoes so there isn't anyone to see about it," Thorin said.  
Bilbo put his hands on his hips. "Take off your boot."  
"That really isn't--"  
"NOW, Thorin," Bilbo commanded.  
Thorin sighed, resigned, and pulled off his boot. Bilbo took it and reached into it.  
"This is embarrassing, Bilbo," Thorin complained. "These are my traveling boots. They do not exactly smell nice."  
"Perhaps not, but we were all on the road together for weeks at a time with no baths. I'm no stranger to smelly dwarrows, just as you are no stranger to ripe hobbit. Besides," Bilbo dropped his voice to a volume just for Thorin. "If I've had my tongue in your bottom, I can handle putting my hand in your shoe."  
Thorin's eyes snapped to Bilbo's, but the hobbit was already concentrating on his boot.

Bilbo exclaimed, "Ooh! Oh my. Thorin, this is practically a _tack_. This is what has been troubling you?"  
"Yes."  
"For how many days?"  
"Since yesterday."  
Bilbo eyed him suspiciously. "Take off your socks, too."  
"I don't wish to," Thorin said obstinately.  
Bilbo fixed Thorin with a look that had the king grumbling but acquiescing.

Bilbo scooted back in his chair, indicating that Thorin give him his foot. Thorin rested his heel on the chair seat as Bilbo looked at the side of his foot.

"Raw, just like I thought. You know better than this," Bilbo admonished him. "Open foot injuries are just as dangerous in the Shire as they are on the road. We're going to have to get this washed and dressed with something to soothe it. That, and fix that boot. Kee?"  
Kili stopped fiddling with the dishes and looked up.  
"Would you mind taking Thorin's boots over to Wilibald's? He might have a little something he can line this with to take the edge off the sharpness inside, or know someone else who could. Thorin has no business wearing these again until it is fixed, and he's not in a position to walk over there himself. Or, should you prefer, I can run them over and you can tend to Thorin's foot."  
"No, I think you're better with that sort of thing than I am. I'll take the boots."  
"See if you can get him to do it while you wait. There are some smaller coins in a jar on the hutch."  
Kili shook his head. "I've got some. Do either of you need anything else? I'm going to be by the marketplace."  
"No. Thorin?"  
Thorin was looking between Kili and Bilbo as they bantered back and forth. "No," he answered.

Kili kissed Bilbo sweetly on the cheek in farewell and squeezed Thorin's shoulder on his way out. Thorin thought it all seemed so comfortable and domestic, as though they had lived like this for years. He watched Bilbo set up water to heat and cut herbs from the bundles drying from the ceiling.

"What are you doing?" Thorin asked.  
"Making something to keep that from infecting."

Bilbo disappeared down the hall for a few moments and came back with strips of cloth, a tin of salve, and a flannel. He poured the hot water into two bowls--one with herbs, one without--and a teapot.

"May as well enjoy some tea as long as I'm boiling water," Bilbo said.

Bilbo and Thorin chatted idly about Balin, Dain, and Erebor while they drank tea and the wash water cooled.

After a while, Bilbo scooted his chair close to Thorin and demanded his foot. He carefully dabbed the raw area with clean water. Thorin hissed when Bilbo disturbed the wound, so Bilbo stroked the top of his foot soothingly. Thorin relaxed into the gentle touch, (mostly) forgetting about the irritation of the cleansing. He looked at Bilbo as the hobbit tended his foot. Perhaps being Thorin Baggins would not have been such a bad thing, after all. Bilbo glanced up and caught Thorin's eye, granting him a hint of a smile. Thorin realized rather suddenly that his heart was thudding hard against his chest. He hoped Bilbo could not hear it.

Oblivious to his effect on Thorin, Bilbo said, "This might sting a bit at first but the herbs will soothe it soon after."  
"I've had worse, you know."  
"I remember," Bilbo said quietly, thinking specifically of Thorin's wounds after their first face-off with the pale orc.  
"Of course, you're much fairer than Oin," Thorin joked.  
"Hmm, I don't know. He has a mischievous twinkle in those eyes that is sort of attractive. I'll bet he _knows_ some things, too," he teased.  
"Shall I add him to the list of dwarrows you have fallen in love with?" Thorin mocked. "Let's see now, there's Oin, me, Kili, Bofur-- oh, excuse me, I mean _Bo_."  
"Don't start in with that again," Bilbo said wearily.  
"I'm simply wondering if I'm the only one here with eyes?" Thorin replied.  
"No, you are the only one here who cannot mind your damn business!" Bilbo barked. After a moment, he said, "I apologize, Thorin. It is just--why can't we simply enjoy ourselves when it is good? Things are strained enough without creating new conflicts out of thin air, particularly when we were having a lovely day so far."  
"You're right. I'm forgetting it is no longer my place. I care for you so much that I forget it frequently," Thorin said.  
"I know. We're getting better at this but believe me I understand how difficult it still is.  I'm not faring much better."

Bilbo rinsed the wound with the herbal wash he had steeped, carefully dried it, and popped open the salve.

"Let me know if this hurts," Bilbo said.

He carefully worked some salve into the raw area and the skin surrounding it. Thorin grunted a bit when Bilbo touched the worst part. Bilbo glanced up to see Thorin's eyes shut with his lips slightly parted, reminding Bilbo of something far less painful. He quickly looked back down at Thorin's foot, working in the rest of the salve along Thorin's arch. Thorin exhaled a pleasured sigh. Bilbo rubbed Thorin's ankle a little more for comfort, enjoying the feel of the skin and subconsciously hoping Thorin would sigh like that again. He absentmindedly stroked up Thorin's calf, too, stopping only when he realized neither of them had said a word in many moments. Thorin was staring at him.

"Uh, right. W-well," Bilbo cleared his throat, "let's get this wrapped up, then."

Bilbo wrapped the cloth carefully but quickly around the foot to serve as a bandage and fastened it off. He looked down at Thorin's boot socks on the floor, one slightly stained with blood.

He said, "You can't rightly put your old socks on a clean wound and fresh bandage. I don't have any myself, but I'll bet Kili does. Give me a moment to find some."

Bilbo muttered off down the hall, admonishing himself for touching Thorin. This was the sort of thing that happened from spending too many days near him with that blasted bond! His hands seemed to have developed a mind of their own, even though Bilbo had just chided Thorin to behave himself. _It was just the bond, it was just the bond, it was just the bond_ , Bilbo mentally chanted as a reminder. Did he dream of Thorin at night? _No....not always, anyway._ Did his heart flutter thinking of being his husband? _Um._ Did a single smile reduce his knees to jelly? Well, _kind of_ , but it was _just the bond_!

Bilbo was sifting through Kili's dresser drawers when he heard Thorin enter the room behind him. He kept digging, mind on his task, until he found a pair. He held them aloft.

"Found them!" he said triumphantly, turning to find Thorin standing incredibly close. Thorin reached up, took them from his hand, and set them behind Bilbo on the dresser. He cupped Bilbo's jaw and kissed him gently.  
"Thorin," Bilbo began, though he wasn't sure what was best to say next.  
"Your touch always sends my blood racing, even when it is not meant to be a lover's touch," Thorin said, sounding seductive.

He claimed Bilbo's lips again, this time more insistently. Bilbo melted into him instinctively, only thinking to stop when Thorin pulled away again to speak.

"It makes your blood race, too. I saw it in your eyes, I felt it in your touch, and I feel you tremble, even now."  
Bilbo closed his eyes. "I've run out of ways to say it, I've said it so much. _This_ was never our problem. Were I married five times over, I'd feel this pull."  
"Does it ache, Bilbo? Do you feel it in your chest, your stomach, and your groin? The emptiness within you where I used to live, suddenly filling with blood? Because I feel it. Being near you, hearing your voice, feeling your hands so gentle against my skin...the bond that had withered inside me is able to pulse again. Tell me, _do you feel it_?"  
"You know I do," Bilbo whispered.  
Thorin breathed Bilbo's name reverently and closed in for another kiss. He pressed his cheek to Bilbo's afterward.  
"I know that I cannot woo you away from Kili," Thorin said passionately. "You will be his, not mine. I realize it, now. I cannot compete with the love you have, so let me have this. Take me to bed and allow me to feel alive--truly alive--one more time. Let me feel something besides pain for a little while."  
"I can't, Thorin. I'm marrying Kili."  
"And you will still marry him. He will have you for the rest of your life while I hold this last, precious memory," Thorin murmured.  
"Thorin, it does not work that way," Bilbo said, removing himself from Thorin's arms.  
"What is the harm?" Thorin cajoled. "You have already been marked by me. It isn't as though you were creating a new bond with someone. Besides, it didn't bother you so much to kiss _him_ when you were my own betrothed. How is this any different?"  
"Because I would wish you were him," Bilbo confessed quietly.  
"You could have me inside you and still wish I were Kili?" Thorin said incredulously.  
"He knows my heart and my mind in ways that you didn't."  
"And your body?" Thorin asked searchingly.

Bilbo looked into Thorin's eyes but said nothing.

"Your body, Bilbo?" Thorin pressed. He already knew, or had suspected, but he needed to _hear_ that his imprint was no longer the only one Bilbo wore.  
Bilbo looked down. "Don't make me say things-"  
"-Things that hurt me. I've heard this before. Well, I've had it with your manners! I'm fucking hurt anyway, Bilbo! Can't you see that? Just answer the question!"

Thorin's tone was sharp and commanding. Bilbo had been on the receiving end of this tone too many times for his liking and now he was expected to endure it when Thorin was in _his_ home and crashing _his_ wedding? Bilbo's polite resolve snapped.

"What do you want me to say? Oh, but I already know, don't I? 'Thorin, no one can do this to me, no one fucks me like you do!' That was true once, and you were my first love, but it is Kili now and for the rest of my life. Kili is the one that does that to me and there is no one--not even you--like him. Even before we consummated our bond, he already had my heart and soul turned inside out. I _love_ him, Thorin. I love him as though I would die without him. I was born to marry him and if you even think of pulling another one of your stunts to stop me, Erebor will have a castrated King. Do I make myself fucking clear?"  
"Do you threaten me?"  
"Do you wish to find out if I'm sincere?"

Thorin looked at Bilbo. The hobbit was as vicious as Thorin had ever seen him and had rarely been more attractive to him. He felt such envy of Bilbo's passion and loyalty toward Kili.

"No, I believe you," Thorin said.  
Bilbo's stance relaxed somewhat but his heart still pounded from his outburst.

 

*****

Kili returned to Bag End, excited to show Thorin his boots. Apparently, Wilibald did an apprenticeship with a tailor who shared his shop with a cobbler in Bree. He knew how to fix the problem entirely and still added another layer of lining in the problem area to make it more comfortable while Thorin's foot healed.

Kili looked first where he had left them, only to find the kitchen empty. Bowls, cups, and a teapot were on the table and Thorin's socks were on the floor. Kili thought he heard voices down the hall.

_"...it in your chest, your stomach, and your groin? The emptiness within you where I used to live, suddenly filling with blood? Because I feel it. Being near you, hearing your voice, feeling your hands so gentle against my skin...the bond that had withered inside me is able to pulse again. Tell me, do you feel it?"_  
_"You know I do."_  
_"Bilbo."_

Thorin and Bilbo were in the master bedroom. What were they doing in _there_?  Kili told himself for the last time he was not doing this again, lurking behind doors, eavesdropping on Thorin and Bilbo to see what happens when he is not around. He was not jealous of Thorin any longer. Besides, he was a mature dwarf, now.

_"I know that I cannot woo you away from Kili. You will be his, not mine. I realize this, now."_

Well, maybe a _little_ longer.

_"I cannot compete with the love you have, so let me have this. Take me to bed, allow me to feel alive--truly alive--one more time. Let me feel something besides pain for a little while."_  
_"I can't, Thorin. I'm marrying Kili."_  
_"And you will still marry him. He will have you for the rest of your life while I hold this last, precious memory."_

Thorins words made Kili's heart ache. Kili couldn't find the ire to get riled up over Thorin trying to talk Bilbo into bed because this was it. This was Thorin _giving up_ , giving in, conceding defeat. It was almost more than he could bear.

_"Thorin, it does not work that way."_

And Bilbo! Standing his ground for him when Kili knew his body wanted to surrender. He could hear edge of arousal in Bilbo's voice, but he was not letting it control him.

_"What is the harm? You have already been marked by me. It isn't as though you were creating a new bond with someone. Besides, it didn't bother you so much to kiss him when you were my own betrothed. How is this any different?"_

Kili felt guilty for Lake Town and Erebor all over again. Kili kissed Bilbo, touched him, _swallowed_ him, all the while believing Bilbo would yet marry Thorin. He had to stop listening and let them know he was home before it got any worse.

_"Because I would wish you were him."  
"You could have me inside you and still wish I were Kili?" _

Okay, just a smidge more.

_"He knows my heart and my mind in ways that you didn't."_  
_"And your body? Your body, Bilbo?"_  
_"Don't make me say things-"_  
_"-Things that hurt me. I've heard this before. Well, I've had it with your manners! I'm fucking hurt anyway, Bilbo! Can't you see that? Just answer the question!"_

Kili was shocked for a moment that Thorin would dare speak to Bilbo like that in his own home. Finding his wits, he opened his mouth to speak when he heard Bilbo lay into Thorin.

_"What do you want me to say? Oh, but I already know, don't I? 'Thorin, no one can do this to me, no one fucks me like you do!' That was true once, and you were my first love, but it is Kili now and for the rest of my life. Kili is the one that does that to me and there is no one--not even you--like him. Even before we consummated our bond, he already had my heart and soul turned inside out. I love him, Thorin. I love him as though I would die without him. I was born to marry him and if you even think of pulling another one of your stunts to stop me, Erebor will have a castrated King. Do I make myself fucking clear?"_  
_"Do you threaten me?"_  
_"Do you wish to find out if I'm sincere?"_

Kili grinned, going hard and warm all at once. To hear him speak so plainly, so candidly, and to Thorin! Kili did not think it was possible to love Bilbo more.

_"No, I believe you."_

Kili's elation did not last. Thorin's tone broke his heart anew. Kili couldn't imagine having to endure Bilbo say something like that to him about someone else, even if he had pressed him for it. He pushed the door open, but Thorin and Bilbo carried on their conversation like he was not there. Neither of them faced the door, so Kili's presence went unnoticed.

"What is it about him, Bilbo? What does he do to you that I cannot?" Thorin asked.  
"What do you mean?"  
"How does he touch you that is different? What makes it so special?"  
"Are you serious? You want me to tell you about our sex?"  
Thorin thought for a moment and said, "Yes."  
"I don't know if that is wise," Bilbo said, knowing full well how discussing it aroused him.

"Go ahead and tell him," Kili said.

Bilbo's and Thorin's attention snapped to him in an instant.

Kili moved in behind Bilbo and pulled aside some hair to kiss his neck, eyes not leaving Thorin's. He murmured for both of them to hear, "Or maybe you'd like to show him."

Bilbo turned to look at Kili, shocked. Kili kissed him softly.

"If he is willing, of course," Kili said, already slipping Bilbo's braces from his shoulders.  
Bilbo turned back toward Thorin and licked his lips.  
"Have you taken leave of your sense, Kili?" Thorin asked.  
"I suppose that depends," Kili replied, untucking and smoothing his hands up Bilbo's shirt. "On whether or not you'd like to kiss him. _Really_ kiss him, without being told to stop."  
Thorin swallowed hard. "You know I would."  
"Kili..." Bilbo protested. Kili felt the hobbit tense under his hands but also heard his breathing turn ragged.  
"Consider it a wedding gift, my jewel, this little bit of wish fulfillment," Kili purred. "Should you want to, that is. Only if you want to."

Kili knew Bilbo's mind was trying to talk him out of it, though the hobbit's prick doubtlessly strained against his trousers. Kili figured this would be similar to what Bilbo wanted with Bofur and Fili, only without the worry of coming between a bonded pair. Bilbo had his own bond with Thorin, too, so he could push it further, take it all the way to the end. Bilbo could fuck and be fucked in ways of which he'd only dreamed. Kili was nearly drunk with the possibilities. Bilbo was still pressed against him, breathing harder, but he had not said anything. Thorin looked at Bilbo anxiously.

" _I_ want to," Kili whispered into Bilbo's ear.

That was enough to move Bilbo a step toward Thorin, who needed no further prodding. He wrapped his arms around Bilbo and slipped his tongue between his lips. Bilbo yielded but passionately, opening up for Thorin in a way the king hadn't felt in months. Thorin felt something brush his hands and peeked to see Kili standing behind Bilbo, sprinkling kisses along his neck. _Odd_ , Thorin thought.

Bilbo's hands found their way to the hem of Thorin's tunic and lifted. He had to halt the kiss to get it over Thorin's head. Thorin stood still for a moment, blinking, as though he did not believe Bilbo just took his shirt off. Bilbo was in the middle of stifling a giggle when Thorin seized him and invaded his mouth with much more force. He felt Thorin's hands against his chest, unbuttoning his shirt. He was wondering where Kili was when a second pair of hands unlaced his trousers.

Thorin bumped into Kili's hands when they dropped to Bilbo's trousers, so Thorin worked on his own. Kili slid Bilbo's shirt off his shoulders and Thorin kissed the newly exposed collarbone. His eyes trailed down to Bilbo's navel ring--oh, that _ring_ \--and he kissed down to it, lowering himself to his knees. He had expected Bilbo or Kili to stop him at any moment when the deeper kissing started, but there were no such protests yet. He pressed his lips to Bilbo's pierced flesh, pulling the ring into his mouth and toying with it. Bilbo's hands tightened in his hair and the hobbit sighed blissfully.

Kili had busied himself with getting naked once Bilbo was mostly there. He pressed against Bilbo's back and snaked his arms around Bilbo's chest. Bilbo rolled his head back and caught a kiss. Peeking over Bilbo's shoulder, Kili noticed Thorin on his knees in front, temporarily obsessed with Bilbo's ring. How was Bilbo still wearing his trousers? Kili tugged at them and they fell to the floor. Bilbo had been wearing no unders.

Thorin paused mid-kiss when his brain registered what happened. Bilbo was naked in front of him for the first time in months. Thorin had been taking what he could get before Kili or Bilbo came to their senses, but this? Thorin was so confused and aroused, his head was swimming. He looked up to see Bilbo and Kili peering back down at him. Kili was also apparently naked.

"What--what is this?" Thorin asked.  
Kili said, "You asked about us, didn't you?"  
"I did," Thorin replied cautiously.  
"And you asked Bilbo take you to bed?"  
Thorin had not realized Kili heard that. "Yes."  
"Then this is what you wanted," Kili said.  
"I don't understand," Thorin replied.

Bilbo was naked, aroused, Kili's erection at his back, Thorin on his knees in front of Bilbo's cock, and he was sure he'd pop if someone didn't do something other than talk.

"Touch me," he breathed.  
"Who?" Thorin asked.  
"Either of you. Both of you. Gods, Thorin, put your mouth around me if you're going to stay there!"  
Bilbo's request momentarily stayed Thorin's need to figure this out.  He licked Bilbo's prick and sucked him in.  
Bilbo groaned and whispered, "Yes."

Bilbo's taste brought back a hundred memories at once, filling Thorin's heart to bursting and his cock to leaking. He had spent so many nights awake in bed wishing for this again that even the dim awareness that Kili was watching him fellate his intended was not enough to put him off. He wanted to suck Bilbo to his finish--to see, hear, and taste him come--but Thorin did not want this over as soon as it started. He slowed his movements, switching to languorous slides of his tongue along Bilbo's length. A hand brushed his. Kili was behind Bilbo on his knees, holding onto Bilbo's thighs. Thorin imagined from Bilbo's vocalizations that Kili must be licking into him. Jealousy swelled within, though Thorin attempted to bury it.

Kili shifted his weight and stood.  
"How far do we go?" he whispered in Bilbo's ear.

Bilbo's head lolled back on Kili's shoulder again as Thorin teased him with his tongue. Bilbo knew he should argue--no part of this was a good idea--but his blood supply was not feeding his rational mind. He glanced down at Thorin, gorgeous and looking back at him with Bilbo's cock between his lips, and relished the way Kili felt against his back, naked and hard.

"As far as we can," Bilbo replied, surprising himself.  
"Do it, Bee," Kili whispered.  
Bilbo moaned at the pleasure that Kili's words sent through his core, knowing what Kili meant by them.

Bilbo pulled Thorin to standing and kissed him, walking him back toward the bed. He tugged Thorin's trousers off the rest of the way and urged him up on the bed.

Thorin looked back at Bilbo and Kili. It was strange for him, having someone bare in the room with him besides Bilbo and looking at him exposed in such a way. He focused his attention on Bilbo, trying not to look at Kili hard and naked. Bilbo crawled on top of Thorin, pressing his warm skin against him. Thorin held Bilbo close, trying to memorize the sensation. Bilbo kissed and nibbled at Thorin's neck.

"What do you think of all this?" Thorin whispered.  
"I think I need to be reminded what it feels like to be inside you," BIlbo murmured back.  
Unbidden, Thorin's eyes grew damp. "You intend to make love to me?"  
Bilbo kissed Thorin's ear. "Unless you do not want it."  
"In front of your lover?" Thorin asked.  
"With his leave."  
"Is he crazy?" Thorin asked.  
"Are you saying no?"  
Thorin held Bilbo more tightly. "I don't think I could say no if half of Mirkwood sat in the corner."  
Bilbo moaned breathlessly. "I've missed you like this."  
They kissed desperately, as lovers reunited.

Kili looked on as the two entwined in kisses, whispering things he could not hear. He had been a part of things as they undressed Bilbo and touched him, but when Bilbo moved to seduce Thorin, Kili felt left out. He wondered for a moment if this had been a mistake, watching the two of them reacquaint themselves with the other's bodies. Of course, at the moment he was doing nothing but standing there. A large part of his fantasy had been to show Thorin that he could love Bilbo better. That couldn't happen if Kili wasn't touching Bilbo at all, he supposed.

Bilbo peppered Thorin's torso with kisses on his way to his prick. Once there, Bilbo sucked at the head to wet it before taking in the majority of his length and pulling a satisfying moan from Thorin's throat. There was a sweet familiarity to the feel of Thorin on his tongue that gave Bilbo goosebumps. Those chills were followed by chills of a different manner when Kili parted Bilbo's cheeks and licked at his hole. Kili prodded into him with his tongue until Bilbo shifted up to kiss Thorin again. Kili draped over Bilbo's back just as Bilbo draped over Thorin's front, drawing his tongue along his spine.

Thorin felt Bilbo's weight and some of Kili's besides. Bilbo drew his mouth back from Thorin's and whispered, "When?"  
Thorin knew if they never started, it would never finish, but there was only so long he was going to be able to prolong this. His heart's wish to draw this out was also warring with his desire, growing more urgent with each moment that passed.  
"Now," Thorin said.

Kili scooted back when Bilbo tried to sit up, allowing him freedom of movement. Bilbo dipped into their oil bowl.

"You've got an open dish at your bedside for slick?" Thorin asked, jealous all over again.  
Bilbo nodded. "Kili made it. It can heat oil as well, but it gets too hot incredibly fast."

Thorin was pondering this information when he felt Bilbo touch him intimately. Bilbo was as careful and as tender as their first time, easing in slowly. They gazed at each other as Bilbo opened him bit by bit. Kili appeared behind Bilbo on his knees and soon Bilbo's moans matched Thorin's, the shared gaze interrupted by Bilbo's blissful closing of his eyes. Looking past Bilbo, Thorin's eyes met Kili's. Thorin did not know how to read the look, seeing a hint of defiance, a great deal of lust for Bilbo, and an uncharacteristic seriousness there.

Bilbo's arousal burned him. Thorin was naked in front of him, opening up for him, and the anticipation of being inside him again was making him quiver...or perhaps the quivering was caused by Kili inside him three fingers deep, preparing him to be taken--no doubt every bit as thoroughly as he planned on taking Thorin. Bilbo could no longer recall his earlier reticence. He simply _wanted_.

Bilbo lifted up on Thorin's hips and pushed back his legs, nudging his cock against his entrance. Thorin looked up at Bilbo pleadingly, terrified Bilbo might choose this moment to stop. Thorin felt the familiar stretch and sting of Bilbo rocking into him. _Mahal, could this really be happening?_ he wondered. Thorin nearly forgot to breathe as Bilbo worked himself in, eventually burying his length inside him. He was overwhelmed.

Bilbo leaned his forehead against Thorin's shoulder, trying to gather himself. He never thought he'd be here again, with Thorin wrapped hot and sweet around him. Bilbo could feel their bond thrum. He lifted his head to gaze at Thorin, his stunning Thorin, gazing back at him with watery blue eyes. Thorin smiled and tears rolled out of his eyes back toward the bed. Bilbo wiped at them.  
  
"Don't cry," he whispered, feeling emotion begin to wet his eyes as well.  
Thorin reached up to smooth Bilbo's hair. "Missed you so much."  
Bilbo rolled his hips, moving in and out. They held to each other, straining for kisses as they made love.

Kili had pulled his fingers from Bilbo when Bilbo aligned his body to press into Thorin. He sat back, allowing them some time to get into the act. It was a curious thing, watching another couple make love when Bilbo was a part of it. Still more curious was Thorin. In Kili's mind--in all his worries--he pictured Thorin an animal in bed, driving Bilbo mad. What he was watching was quite different. Kili had started this partly out of guilt, partly to show off, but mostly to give Bilbo a mind-blowing sexual experience that would help assuage the ache of Thorin's bond. It was dawning on him that Thorin's longtime hold on Bilbo wasn't due to his crazed physical prowess. It was _this_ , a passionate connection, one so close Bilbo had seemingly forgotten Kili was still in the room. Regardless of what Bilbo had said when Kili was outside the door, Kili had a bad feeling he had just pushed Bilbo back into the arms of the one person that could damage them.

Bilbo felt Kili's hands stroke his bottom and down his thighs. He'd been so wrapped up in Thorin, he had been ignoring Kili. Kili seemed to be remedying that situation, currently touching and kissing his back. Bilbo felt the bed shift and Kili's digits returned to his bottom, slick but merely grazing his pucker. The blunt head of Kili's cock replaced them and Bilbo had only a moment to think of what Kili was about to do before it was being done. In three strokes, Kili was inside him to the root. Thorin was still tight around Bilbo's cock. Bilbo held on to Thorin and gasped, vocalizing, as he drowned in sensation.

Thorin felt odd touches as Bilbo moved in him--a knee against his thigh here, a foot brushing his calf there--but he barely registered them. Bilbo abruptly stopped stroking him deep and clutched at him instead, clearly enraptured. Thorin glanced over Bilbo's shoulder. Kili was pressing into Bilbo. Thorin blinked in shock. He had not quite understood what Kili had meant when he said they were giving him what he wanted. It seemed Kili wasn't only going to allow Bilbo to make love to Thorin, Kili was going to make love to Bilbo, too-- _at the same time_. Thorin was jealous, curious, horrified, confused, and inexplicably turned on by the situation. He had a split moment to decide what to do about it. Bilbo was naked, kissing him, _inside him_ , and likely was going to mark him before it was all said and done. Strange as this was, Thorin was not about to stop Bilbo now.

Kili felt better the instant he saw his effect on Bilbo and heard those gorgeous noises escape his throat. He decided it was time to remind Bilbo--and Thorin--who slept with Bilbo every night. He wrapped his fingers around Bilbo's hips and started to undulate. He tried out a rhythm where he would slide into Bilbo when the hobbit pulled out of Thorin. It made Bilbo wail, but it was difficult to maintain. Kili shifted, bracing one hand against Thorin's thigh and the other pulling on Bilbo's hip, pushing Bilbo into Thorin with each thrust and pulling him back out when he wanted. Thorin groaned underneath Bilbo, setting something loose in Kili from that night spent on the Lover's Wine. He wanted to show them both how well he could fuck Bilbo. He was going to show Thorin so well, the dwarf would _feel_ it.

Kili pushed and pulled him out of Thorin, sending currents of pleasure through Bilbo from nearly every end. Bilbo had a need to feel Kili's mouth on his, having not kissed him since he laid Thorin down. He did his best to rear up, Kili clutching him at his chest to hold him while they craned their heads to kiss. Bilbo reached up with his ring hand to hold Kili's face steady, because the three of them were still stroking in varying rhythms. Thorin was doing things to Bilbo inside he had long forgotten, pulling feelings to the surface to breathe long-denied air, but Kili...well, Bilbo was the one who would suffocate without _him_. Though time may have dimmed Bilbo's memory of how amazing it felt to be with Thorin, Kili would have no better chance of being dulled than the sun itself.

Kili held Bilbo up, feeling him struggle to reach him. Bilbo stretched his head back to kiss him, opening his mouth at the first contact of their lips. Kili hummed a moan, kissing him back fiercely. It was everything Kili needed in that instant--reassuring, wanting, loving. Any trepidation he was feeling dissolved on the wet of Bilbo's tongue. He felt Bilbo's hand touch his face. He ran his fingers up Bilbo's arm and covered Bilbo's hand with his own, locking their fingers together. It was sweet and dirty, a moment of tenderness surrounded by the sounds and smell of sex. Kili felt Bilbo tell him wordlessly that Thorin underneath Bilbo did not change what was theirs. Kili felt a renewed sense of purpose. He was going to make this so good for Bilbo.

Bilbo had been holding to Thorin, groaning and keening like Thorin had rarely heard him. Thorin couldn't help the sounds coming from his own lips, either, but then again, he never could with Bilbo. A hand braced on his thigh and Thorin knew it was not Bilbo's. Bilbo's thrusts came harder and more rough, the hand digging into his leg more with each push. Bilbo's heat and weight left his chest, leaving Thorin wondering at the loss. Kili was holding Bilbo up, kissing him. The thrusts lessened in intensity as their kiss grew, though their bodies still rippled with the effort. For a moment, Thorin set aside his ego to let himself drink in the sight of them. Gods, they were gorgeous, both of them, apart as well as together-- _especially_ together. They were obviously so in love; mouths open and eyes closed in utter bliss. Truly, had Bilbo ever loved him like _that_? Kili caressed up Bilbo's arm, twining his fingers with Bilbo when their hands met. Their rings caught brightly in the daylight, side by side, pressed against Kili's cheek. Bilbo was still inside Thorin and it still felt glorious, but even through the glow of their awakening bond, he felt a cold sadness curl around his heart. Thorin was just a visitor in their world now; a temporary tourist getting what would likely be his only glance at such beauty. He chose to greedily accept whatever they would give and commit every shred of it to memory.

Bilbo fell forward on Thorin again, Kili gripping him and picking up his former rhythm. Bilbo struggled to place a kiss to Thorin's lips as Kili fucked them both, falling short and licking the expanse of Thorin's throat instead. He nipped in and felt the moan beneath his lips. Bilbo opened his mouth wider and sucked the blood to the surface. Thorin whispered his name just moments before Bilbo was pushed against him hard, feeling the heft of Kili's weight against his back. His hair was pulled, urging his head back, and teeth sunk into his neck.

Kili tossed his head back and closed his eyes. Bilbo felt amazing and was groaning out more noises than usual, no doubt due to the dual stimulation. Kili wondered what it must feel like for him. He loved giving Bilbo this, driving him crazy--even Thorin crying out in passion did not put him off. Turned him on, if he was honest with himself. The control over both their pleasure sent sparks through his abdomen. He opened his eyes to see Bilbo licking Thorin's throat, biting him...marking him? What in the bloody void was that hobbit doing? Kili would show him who was whose. He pushed forward, bared Bilbo's throat using his hair as leverage, and bit into his neck. Bilbo yelped and Kili soothed the bite with his tongue, perhaps not meaning to bite him quite so hard. He nipped in a little softer this time, eyes locked on Thorin's, pulling in Bilbo's skin and leaving a mark of his own. Regardless of how wicked their play, Kili wanted no doubt left in this bed: Bilbo was _his_ , and he belonged to Bilbo, too. Even after Kili released Bilbo's neck, he held Thorin in his view for a few moments longer.

Bilbo was licking him, nibbling, him, but Thorin could not help but cry out when Bilbo sucked a claim into his neck. A spike of desire shot through him--did it mean something? Anything at all? Were it merely to be a reminder the next day, Thorin did not think he could love it more. Bilbo slumped forward on him, doubly heavy with Kili pressing down as well. Bilbo's head snapped back and Kili bit into him savagely. Kili laved the hurt before sealing his mouth down on Bilbo's neck again, staring at Thorin as he did so. Kili's eyes were dark, sexy, and wild. Thorin could almost hear the growl of " _Mine_ " coming from Kili's mind. Possessive little thing, Kili was. Thorin's own rush of adrenaline at feeling challenged nearly made him laugh. It must run in the family. 

_The family_.

The thought cut through Thorin's sex haze. His nephew was fucking him with Bilbo's prick. Thorin had been admiring him, watching him fuck, even growing more aroused by him. Kili. His _Kili-colt_. A sickening wave rolled through him from his gut up through his throat. Wrong. This was wrong, wrong, wrong. Suddenly Bilbo was kissing him again, quelling the sick feeling and reminding him what brought him to this point. He could do this. Could he do this? Yes, he could. He just needed to...not watch for a moment.

"Bilbo," Thorin said.  
Bilbo moaned Thorin's name back.  
"No, Bilbo, I need to move," Thorin said.  
Bilbo tapped Kili's thigh and Kili backed away.  
"How do you need to move?" Bilbo asked.  
Thorin replied, "Take me from behind."

The flash of renewed lust in Bilbo's eyes made Thorin glad he had asked, regardless of the reason. Bilbo crawled off him, pausing to give some attention to Thorin's neglected cock. He licked the wetness from the tip and hummed in pleasure.

"Oh, Thorin...the way you _taste_."  
Bilbo mouthed over him again, taking him in deeper. "Didn't want to miss any," Bilbo flirted.

Bilbo scooted back, allowing Thorin to roll over. He kissed along Thorin's spine and smoothed his hands over his skin before adjusting Thorin at the knees to be a proper height for what transpired next. He pushed in and Thorin grunted, grabbing a pillow in which to bury his face. Kili adjusted behind Bilbo, finding where he needed to be to push inside Bilbo.

Thorin knew the moment Kili breached Bilbo, both from the rock against his body as well as Bilbo's pleasured moan. He did not know about the hobbit, but this positioning always ensured a steady, fantastic abuse of his sensitive spot. He looked down and knew he would be in danger of coming all over Bilbo's lovely bedspread. The thought made him smirk and his cock twitch. Bilbo started to roll into him and Thorin gathered the pillow under him. It smelled like Bilbo...and Kili. _What am I doing here?_ he thought. Bilbo dragged the head of his cock over Thorin's gland and Thorin stopped questioning it.

Kili stroked slow for several moments, giving enough time for the three of them to shift to where they were most comfortable and where would feel the best. After that, he allowed a little more speed in his movements. Bilbo and Thorin had their moment of lovemaking, Kili and Bilbo had their moment of mutual understanding, and Kili had asserted just who was in control of this encounter with Thorin. Once they got past that, as well as a bit of the initial awkwardness, Kili felt like they could get down to some real fun. He grabbed Thorin's hips, using him as leverage to work Bilbo's body.

Even in his aroused state, Thorin knew Bilbo's hands could not be on his shoulder, running down his back, and gripping his hips at the same time. Kili had hold of his hips and was fucking Bilbo into him even more determined than before. Thorin was still acutely aware it was _Kili_ gripping bruises into his hips, but it felt much too good to stop now. Bilbo's touch left his back.

"Thorin," Kili said, voice plush like velvet. "Push back on him and I'll push into him. I'll hold him still so all he can do is take it."  
Bilbo spoke, "All I can do is-- _oh!_ "

Bilbo's thought was cut off by Kili and Thorin massaging him inside and out. As Kili said, he was holding him as still as he could. Bilbo's head fell back as the two of them established a new rhythm. Thorin was cursing under his breath in Khuzdul. Bilbo had missed that.  He quirked a smile just ahead of the next mewl they pulled from him.

"Durin's beard, Thorin! Such filthy talk!" Kili teased.  
This time, Bilbo couldn't help but giggle. "I never understood the things you would say."  
"Allow me," Kili punctuated the last word with a particularly hard thrust. "Loosely translated, he says he would like to drown you in his semen. Can't really blame him. So would I."  
"Fuck yes," Bilbo exhaled. "I want it, all of it. In my hole, in my mouth, on my skin."  
Thorin growled and pushed back with more force, rocking Bilbo into Kili.  
"That's it, fuck him harder," Kili rasped.

Bilbo watched Thorin's body curve as he pleasured the both of them with his tightness. He could hear him groaning and panting, but Thorin had not made a move to touch himself. Kili was not allowing Bilbo to lean forward to do it for him, choosing instead to pound into him with a slight uptick to each stroke, catching the right spot on nearly every go. In an instant, it was all too much: the feeling, the sounds, the perversion of what they were doing...he was about to finish.

"Fuck! Kee! Stop, please!" Bilbo cried.  
Kili stopped for a moment, Bilbo's head dropping onto Thorin's back.  
Bilbo huffed a laugh. "I need a break or I'm going to come. This is-- _gods_! Everything that feels good about sex is happening to me all at once. I don't even know how I'm lasting this long as it is."  
"But I _want_ you to come," Kili said, kissing Bilbo's shoulder blade. "We both do," he whispered.  
"So do I. I just want it to last a little longer," Bilbo replied, rubbing his palm over the swell of Thorin's bottom.

Thorin rested his head on his hands, the pillow in between them, and listened to Bilbo and Kili talk. He wanted it to last a little longer, too. More than a little. He thought Bilbo was holding on admirably, as Thorin himself woud have been long gone by now even without a lover in both the front and the back. The sole thing that kept him from finishing already was being the one taken, and only then because he wouldn't touch himself. There was a moment before Bilbo called for a pause when Thorin thought he might come in spite of it.

Bilbo eased out of Thorin and leaned forward to slide himself off Kili. Thorin collapsed on his stomach with a soft "whoosh" against the bed, muscles aching. Bilbo turned to Kili, clasping his hands behind his neck and pulling him down for a proper kiss.

Bilbo put his lips to Kili's ear and whispered, "Still okay?"  
Kili's hand found its way into Bilbo's hair as he whispered back, "Yes. You?"  
Bilbo nodded and kissed Kili on the nose. He stretched out next to Thorin and ran his knuckles down his back from shoulder to tailbone.

"Are you still okay?" he asked.  
Thorin pushed himself up to rest on his elbows and fidgeted with his clasped hands. "May we define the word 'okay?'"  
"Are you not being pleasured?"  
Thorin chuckled and tilted his head to look at Bilbo. "It is not the way I envisioned it, but I'm not lacking in pleasure."  
_Gods, he's lovely_ , Bilbo thought.  
"Then what?" Bilbo said aloud.  
Thorin held Bilbo's gaze. "I'm okay _now_ , if you follow me. Quite a bit more than okay, if not a little out of my depth."

Bilbo closed his eyes and nodded. Thorin was already anticipating the end of their escapade.

"Would you like to resume?" Bilbo asked.  
Thorin replied, "Very much."  
Bilbo pressed his body to Thorin's and leaned in close to his ear. "Good, because I am planning to come inside you," he whispered.

A rumble rose from Thorin's throat and he rolled onto his back, grabbing Bilbo to go with him. He pulled Bilbo's lips to his and kissed him with a renewed fervor.  
"Take me," he said raggedly.

Bilbo was almost breathless from Thorin's assault on his mouth. He slicked himself a little more and slid back inside Thorin. He felt Kili's hands on him nearly immediately. Kili whispered his name when he pressed into him once more. Thorin and Kili both felt amazing around him, inside him, each making the most exquisite sounds and calling his name in ways that sent delicious shivers across his skin. If only they could live their lives in bed, no one would need be sad again!

Kili felt Bilbo move in concert with him. It was arousing to show Thorin just how Kili moved to make Bilbo cry out, but this was more _them_ than fighting Bilbo's rhythm to prove a point. He draped across Bilbo's back, placing little kisses from shoulder to shoulder as he circled into his lover. Kili glanced down, a full view of Thorin's face in easy view due to the way Bilbo curled in on each slide. Thorin was always one of the best looking dwarrows in Ered Luin. Kili had long admired his looks, wishing he could be as handsome. He never imagined he'd see Thorin's head on his pillow with such erotic joy painting his features. It was strangely lovely. Thorin 's eyes fluttered open.

Thorin opened his eyes and saw Kili looking back at him, an odd little smile ghosting around the corners of his mouth.  Over the course of this encounter, Thorin had grown more used to the bizarre arrangement, realizing that he far preferred working with it to fighting it, mentally or physically either one. It was fulfilling to bring Bilbo pleasure and be close to him. Kili, too, actually. Thorin felt Bilbo wrap his fingers around his cock, garnering his full attention once again.

"I'm getting close," Bilbo panted. "But you first."

Bilbo tried to stroke Thorin, move, and hold himself up all at the same time but he could not maintain the speed Thorin needed to get off. Thorin took over stroking himself, Bilbo propping himself up for better leverage and a better look. He loved seeing him like this, laid out before him, hard and gasping, chasing his pleasure with his cock in his hand. Bilbo was having trouble holding back, particularly with Kili moving within him.

Kili hooked his chin over Bilbo's shoulder, watching along with him. "He's beautiful, isn't he?" Kili murmured. Bilbo had barely agreed when Thorin came with a howl, spurting over his abdomen. Kili felt Bilbo's stroke change. Bilbo fucking back on him coupled with the sight of Thorin so debauched under them was tipping Kili over the edge. He felt the first whip of his orgasm uncoil as Bilbo surged forward with a scream. They came together, shuddering and throbbing.

Thorin's head was still spinning from his best orgasm in months when he felt Bilbo tense. Moments later, Bilbo and Kili were finishing together on top of him. Thorin felt the bond--already buzzing from the closeness of the lovemaking--roar through his veins like a flash-fire. Bilbo collapsed on him and Thorin held him tightly. He became dimly aware he was whispering Bilbo's name over and over, tears leaking again from his eyes. Bilbo lifted his head to look at Thorin.

Bilbo could scarcely breathe, yet he was gasping for air. He was light-headed and did not trust his tongue enough to speak. Thorin and Kili made him come hard, to be true, but he was overwhelmed by more than his climax. His feelings--his bonds--swirled within him. This had been so lewd and taboo. Bilbo found it incredibly erotic. He finally willed his muscles to work enough to raise his head and met Thorin's watery eyes. He brushed the back of his hand over Thorin's cheek and gave him a small, tender smile that he hoped was comforting. Thorin seized his hand and kissed his palm. He felt Kili's weight lift from him and land next to them on the bed. Bilbo moved off Thorin and found a cloth to clean themselves with, having gotten a fair amount of seed on his own stomach when he pressed against Thorin. He returned to bed between Thorin and Kili.

Thorin did not want to say anything. He was unsure how he was supposed to simply put on his clothes and go about the next several days as though he had not just been fucked by Bilbo (and Kili by proxy) in their soon-to-be marital bed. For all the times he had begged Bilbo to take him to bed, the numerous "please, one last time" speeches he had given, it had not once occurred to him how to handle the aftermath if Bilbo had agreed. It was a glaring oversight, he had to admit.

"I-I confess I don't know what to do now," Thorin said.  
"Well, anyone else need a nap?" Kili replied.

Thorin couldn't help but chuckle. A secret sexual dynamo Kili might be, but at the end of all things, he was still _Kili_.

Bilbo yawned. "Maybe a little one. Thorin?"  
"Really?" Thorin asked.  
Bilbo replied, "If you wish it."

He knew it was delaying the inevitable, but Thorin would hold onto these moments for as long as he could. Besides, he wouldn't mind a short rest. He had stayed awake late the night before, thinking of Bilbo. Little did he know he'd be in his bed the next day.

"I do wish it," Thorin whispered.  
"How is your foot?  Did we hurt it?" Bilbo asked.  
Thorin grinned.  "Would you believe I had forgotten it?"

Bilbo pulled on Kili's arm to get the dwarf to spoon against him and snuggled himself into the crook of Thorin's arm as he had done many times before. He could not deny he loved the way it felt to be between them.

Thorin felt Bilbo settle against him and worried he might weep again. For as much as he had hoped, he did not really think he would truly have Bilbo naked and warm against him like this again. He took a deep breath to stave off the threatening tears.

"Did you really think I was going to fuck you and kick you out?" Bilbo asked after a few moments.  
Thorin rolled his lips into his mouth a moment before answering. "I don't know what I thought."  
A drowsy voice came from behind Bilbo. "Oh Thorin, we would not do that to you. We love you."  
Thorin swallowed around the lump in his throat. "I love you, too," he whispered.  
Bilbo found his hand and squeezed it.

With the rush subsiding, Thorin lay next to Bilbo with the full realization sinking in that he had just gone to bed with Bilbo and _Kili_. His mind reeled as he tried to replay exactly how he went from Bilbo threatening him to Kili pushing into him with Bilbo's cock. However, he was deeply satisfied in a way he hadn't been since he had lost his clarity to the dragon sickness and Bilbo left his bed. Maybe somewhat horrified, too, because dwarrows don't share lovers, and most certainly not with their kin. He made his peace with it rather fast, all things considered. It had not taken him long to decide that if having Bilbo again meant having Kili there, perhaps it wouldn't be so bad.  He felt the pull of slumber remarkably soon.

Bilbo thought Thorin had fallen asleep with amazing speed. He wondered when Thorin last had an untroubled sleep, suspecting it had likely been the last time they visited Erebor. The thought made Bilbo sad. Kili's lips brushed his shoulder.

"You were amazing," Kili whispered.  
Bilbo could tell from his speech that Kili was tipping close to sleep himself.  
"Not as amazing as you," Bilbo whispered back. _"_ And only half as mad."  
Kili giggled softly against his back but Bilbo was not entirely teasing.

He had a sinking feeling they had just dumped a whole barrel of marbles onto a hardwood floor.


	12. Love, Thy Will Be Done:  Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The smut continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Banner by sradanvers.tumblr.com
> 
> Part 2 of this chapter got a bit out of hand and needed to be split again, so there will be a Part 3. Apparently, I had a lot more smut to fit in before I lit the fuse. 
> 
> I failed to mention last time, the chapter title comes from this--  
> http://youtu.be/c7HGWfUxtbg

Thorin had not been sure how long he had been sleeping, but he woke to whispers, jostling, and no Bilbo in his arms. He saw Bilbo, one hand over Kili's mouth and one hand buried between his legs. Kili squirmed on the bed and they were both hard. Bilbo shifted and Thorin closed his eyes before he could be seen, pretending to sleep.

"Should we wake him? See if he wants to play?" Kili whispered.  
"He was sleeping pretty deeply, Kee. He must have needed it. Honestly, we should be doing this in the other room so we don't disturb him."  
"But then he'd wake up alone and think we left him here."  
"I know, so shh for now."

There was gentle movement on the bed and a quiet, throaty noise from Kili. Thorin opened his eyes to see Bilbo pressed flat against Kili's chest and Kili's legs wrapped around the hobbit's sides. Face buried in Kili's neck, Bilbo moved sinuous and slow against him. Thorin watched for a moment in quiet fascination, in spite of the shallow pool of jealousy in the pit of his stomach. He'd never had this view of anyone making love before. He wondered if this was how he looked, too. He heard Bilbo fight moans with particularly sharp exhales, and Kili could not stop all his whimpers. Surprised at his own impulse, Thorin realized he didn't want them to stifle themselves. He thought back to the night outside their door in Erebor. How many times had he finished to that memory? He wanted them to know he was awake, for them to know they did not have to be quiet for him. He supposed he should be ashamed at how desperate he had become, but his pride was being overruled by his libido.

Thorin rolled over near them and caressed Bilbo's back. Bilbo hummed happily and Thorin did it again, this time trailing down to the cleft between his buttocks. Bilbo was wet there. _Already wet and stretched,_ Thorin thought. He chose not to think about it being partly Kili that slicked him. Bilbo arched his back on the out-stroke from Kili, raising his pert bottom in what seemed like an invitation before sliding back in.

Thorin gave it a squeeze. "This looks quite tempting."  
"Tempting to what?" Bilbo said.  
"To touch, to feel...to fuck," Thorin breathed.

Bilbo's glance flicked to Kili, who nodded nearly imperceptibly. Bilbo closed his eyes in bliss. It had been a very long time since Thorin had moved within him and he wanted to feel it again.  
" _Please_ ," he said.

Thorin smiled to himself. Reaching for some oil ( _actually pretty handy, that open dish_ ), he coated his prick, his hand somewhat trembling. How long had he waited to have this again? He adjusted himself behind Bilbo and pressed inward. Although, Bilbo felt gloriously tight around him, Thorin was able to get all the way in on the first push. His breath hitched and Bilbo keened. Mahal, Thorin had missed this as much as he had missed Bilbo inside him. He pumped into Bilbo slow, receiving rapturous sighs from Bilbo and Kili both.

Bilbo moaned and whispered both Kili and Thorin's names as Bilbo felt the pleasure from front to back for the second time that day. Kili held him and drank his kisses while Bilbo and Thorin moved together.

"Feels so good," Kili breathed. "Both of you."

  
Bilbo threw his head back, his longer hair on his shoulder blades enticing Thorin in a way for which his former hair had been too short. Thorin grunted and pulled back on it, picking up speed.

"Kiss me," Bilbo demanded.

Thorin leaned forward and Bilbo arched back, trying to meet their lips with Thorin still moving. Their lips finally locked and Bilbo sucked against Thorin's tongue. Thorin growled, pushing Bilbo back down hard and moving faster.

Kili felt Thorin's new confidence in Bilbo's forced strokes. This was more like the Thorin that Kili had expected. There was a fire in Thorin's eyes Kili had not yet seen...and he wanted it to burn _hotter_.

"Faster, Thorin. Fuck him faster," Kili begged breathlessly.  
Bilbo moaned, " _Gods_."  
"Durin's fucking beard," Thorin cried, moving faster as requested.  
"Harder," Kili commanded.

Bilbo wailed, pumping into Kili and getting pumped himself. He couldn't keep up with the pace Thorin set, being smaller than the dwarf. He was simply carried along as the three of them groaned and sighed.

"S-stop! Stop, slow down, something," Bilbo said.  
Thorin paused immediately.  
"Are you okay?" Thorin asked.  
Bilbo nodded, panting. "Too close. _Again_. Fucking like this is practically milking me. It is just so _much_ , so fast. It is embarrassing how fast this gets me there."  
"Here," Kili said, "Let me out from under you. Let's reduce the stimulation for a few moments. Or, maybe we'll just alter it a bit."

Bilbo sat up and Kili wiggled his way out. Thorin wasn't sure what to do, but Kili did not let him wonder for long.

"Hold him up for me while you take him," Kili said to Thorin. "Pull him against your chest."

Bilbo nearly moaned at the command. Not only did Bilbo love being fucked like that (the angle was delightfully brutal inside), but something in him responded very favorably to Kili giving Thorin orders on how best to take him. Bilbo loudly responded to Thorin carrying out the command, too. He found he could not help it.

Kili took a moment to observe Thorin fucking Bilbo. He hadn't been granted this particular sight before and he found it peculiarly thrilling. Bilbo was gorgeous being wrecked and Kili so loved for him to feel good. He much preferred to be a part of the pleasure, though. He crawled across the bed and sucked Bilbo's cock into his mouth.

Thorin felt Bilbo arch against him when Kili wrapped his lips around him. Thorin could not resist watching over Bilbo's shoulder as he stroked him in and out, choosing to time it with Kili's movements. He felt guilty for thinking how lovely Kili's mouth looked sucking a prick, but fuck all if it didn't. After several moments, Bilbo protested.

"Kee! Oh _fuck_ , Kee, I don't want to finish like this," Bilbo gasped.

Kili stopped and scooted up on his knees, pressing against Bilbo chest to chest. He kissed him deeply, mouths wide open. Thorin could see their tongues gliding over one another.

"How do you want to, then?" Kili purred.  
"Inside you...with Thorin inside me," Bilbo murmured.

Kili grunted, grabbed Bilbo's head, and kissed him hard. Bilbo leaned his head back when Kili released him, parting his lips for Thorin's kiss next. Thorin's tongue lead the way, licking into Bilbo's mouth.

 _How many months could we have been sharing his kisses?_ Thorin thought.

Kili flopped back down on the bed.  
"Which way? On my stomach?" he demonstrated with a mischievous grin over his shoulder, wiggling his arse in the air. "Or on my back?" He rolled over and spread his legs.

Thorin released Bilbo and backed out of him, giving him the freedom of movement again. Bilbo climbed along the length of Kili's body, up to his mouth.

"I want it like this," he whispered, parting Kili's lips with his own. "But that's not how I want _you_ to finish."  
"How do you want me to finish?" Kili asked, growing breathless again at the lusty tone in Bilbo's voice.  
Bilbo licked the rim of Kili's ear. "In me, after I finish in you and he finishes in me, too."  
Kili closed his eyes and hummed. "Both of us-"  
"-dripping out of me."  
"You're so filthy," Kili sighed happily before kissing Bilbo again.

Kili and Bilbo were close enough (in all ways) for their bond to be constantly in Bilbo's veins, though it was far more intense when Kili came inside him. His bond with Thorin had lethargically stirred from hibernation upon his arrival, growing slowly constant as their contact increased. By the time Thorin had pushed into him, it was warmly pulsing through him. Bilbo did not know what to expect when Thorin imprinted him again--blending in his blood, twining with Kili's--but he could scarcely wait.

Thorin had stayed up on his knees where Bilbo left him, taking care not to insinuate himself in their conversation. Bilbo took Thorin's hand and encouraged him closer. He pressed a kiss to his beard. "Surely you're not done yet," BIlbo teased.

It was a flirtatious comment, meant to playfully goad him into pushing Bilbo down and proving him wrong. Thorin knew that, but it touched a raw nerve. The understanding was starting to spread through him that no matter what they did today, he would never be done. He had wanted one last time, but then what? He would want a last time after that, too, and another after that. Although he pondered these greedy thoughts, he realized he was lucky there was still a "now," considering they had already _had_ Thorin's One Last Time.

Bilbo pressed closer to him and kissed his lips tenderly. He cradled Thorin's jaw. Softly, he said, "I see you thinking and I must insist you stop. There's more to be done, yet, before we are finished. Do not ruin right now by anticipating the end. I want you present enough to enjoy this."

Thorin looked into Bilbo's eyes, feeling so much love. After all this time, Bilbo had not lost his skill at reading Thorin's face when he was troubled.

Bilbo kissed him again. "Come on, show me some of what you've been dreaming about. No thinking of tomorrow. Let's focus on now."

Thorin blinked rapidly, having promised himself he'd not cry any more today. He could not deny Bilbo was right. Months he had thought about this reunion; worrying about the end of this tryst was going to ruin the time they had. He gently encouraged Bilbo to turn around and face Kili.

Bilbo's words for Thorin unexpectedly moved Kili. Was Bilbo going to be sorry to see this end? Would he want more than an afternoon? Kili always thought it would be either him _or_ Thorin. He'd never considered them both. But what of the life they'd planned in the Shire? And what of Fili and Bofur? Bilbo's skin pressed hotly against Kili while Bilbo nudged his cock to his hole and Kili ceased concentrating on anything other than the pleasure he was about to receive.

Bilbo felt Thorin against his back, pressing wet kisses down his spine. He canted Kili's hips and stroked inside him again. Thorin split Bilbo open shortly after and set their pace. Bilbo held on to Kili as Thorin held to him.

"It feels _so good_ ," Bilbo panted.

Kili had to agree it did. His bravado from the first round had almost fully faded, allowing Thorin his chance with Bilbo. Kili loved watching the ecstasy on Bilbo's face as he was bombarded with sensation. Feeling Bilbo being pushed into him was quite naughty as well. Kili managed to adjust his legs in order to get a foot flat on the bed for grinding and pushed back. He smirked with satisfaction at Bilbo's wail. Bilbo reciprocated with a well-placed thrust, sending a jolt through Kili's body.

" _There, right there,_ " Kili panted.  
"Oh fuck," Bilbo groaned.

Thorin moaned loudly. He could _feel_ it when either he or Kili did something that felt good to Bilbo. It was powerfully exciting.

"Faster," Kili begged.  
Thorin murmured Bilbo's name. Bilbo keened.  
"Yes! Keep going!" Kili cried.  
"Fuck, oh fuck, close," Bilbo nearly choked.  
Kili pleaded, "Keep going, Thorin. Make him come!"  
"You two are going to break me," Bilbo panted.  
"Come," Thorin whispered.  
Kili said, "Don't stop."  
"Come," Thorin said louder.  
"That's it," Kili encouraged.  
" _Come!_ " Thorin shouted.

Bilbo screamed, surging forward but trying to rock back for more. He was twitching, coming, coming, coming, Kili wickedly and purposefully flexing around him. He'd nearly figured out how to breathe again when a whole new rush filled him. Thorin fell against him, calling his name and crying out. Their bond flared in Bilbo's veins, mingling with Kili's, racing through him like lightning. Bilbo twitched and groaned anew. He lay still for a few moments. The last thing he wanted at this moment was for Thorin to leave his body, but poor Kili was still stirred up and squirming below them. He moved back and Thorin withdrew.

Kili pulled Bilbo forward even as the hobbit was retreating, encouraging him to straddle him. Bilbo bit his bottom lip as he lowered himself to ride Kili's cock. Kili and Thorin had worked together to give Bilbo what felt to be an incredible orgasm, turning Kili on so much he felt like he was about to explode. This would not take long.

Thorin watched Bilbo rise and fall on Kili, the dwarf rising up to meet his lover with each stroke. Bilbo held out a hand to Thorin, inviting him closer. The curve of the bed rolled Thorin's knees against Kili's hips and thighs whenever he would push up. Thorin tried to avoid the contact with Kili, but Bilbo grabbed him into a kiss and knocked him off balance. Thorin wound up steadying himself on one of Kili's thighs, kissing Bilbo and feeling the muscles create each thrust as Kili chased his pleasure.

"I'm fucking him in your seed," Kili panted.  
Thorin stopped kissing Bilbo for a moment. "What?"  
"I said, I'm. Fucking. Him. In. Your. Seed," Kili replied, punctuating each word with a stroke.  
"Fuck, that's hot," Bilbo moaned.  
Thorin couldn't deny that it was _blisteringly_ hot to his mind, Bilbo's new lover having to follow in Thorin's mess. What's more, it aroused Bilbo and Kili as well. He leaned his forehead on Bilbo's shoulder. These two were going to drive him up a wall--in all the best ways.

Kili gurgled and guttered a sudden cry. spurting inside Bilbo. Bilbo grabbed Thorin by the hair and thrust his tongue in his mouth, wanting both of them to be touching him somehow as the bonds spread afresh through his arms and legs. Kili's hand reached up and threaded through Bilbo's fingers.

For a brief moment, time stopped for the three lovers.

" _I love him._ "

" _I love him._ "

" _I love them._ "

*****

Thorin, Bilbo, and Kili all lay side-by-side on the bed, the angle of the light through the window suggesting the morning was waning into afternoon.

"I don't know about you, but I feel amazing," Bilbo said, stretching languorously.  
"I'm amazingly starving," Kili said.  
Bilbo nodded. "We've gone and skipped Elevensies entirely."  
"I'm not complaining," Thorin replied.  
"I'm not complaining about Elevensies, but I might have a cross word or two if we skip lunch," Kili said.  
Bilbo agreed, "I won't be able to go a third time without some food in my gullet, that is for sure."  
"A third time?" Thorin said sitting up, incredulous.  
Kili popped up on an arm. "Well, that is if you wouldn't rather stop?" he said with concern.

Thorin fell back on the bed. Three times in a single morning. He glanced over at Kili. Three times _before tea_ \--and they were so matter of fact about it, like it was not unusual at all! No wonder Bilbo was so mad for him. Other than special occasions, Thorin had considered it a rarity during their betrothal to have Bilbo three times in a single day.

"No, no! Lunch and sex are good," Thorin said.  
Bilbo burst into a giggle with Kili right behind. Thorin chuckled a bit along with them. Kili had always made Bilbo laugh so; Thorin was pleased Bilbo also found him to be amusing.

Bilbo rolled out of bed, tied his dressing gown around his naked body, and moved to open the door.  
"What are you doing?" Thorin asked.  
"Making a quick lunch."  
"Dressed like that? What if Fili and Bofur come home?"  
"They won't. They're off with Bifur making our wedding gift. I don't expect them until dinner, maybe just after tea."  
Thorin didn't trust it. "But you're practically naked!"  
"In my own house!" Bilbo countered.  
Kili got up and put on his dressing gown, too. "I'll help."  
"Oh, not you too," Thorin lamented.  
"No one _cares_ , Thorin. Besides, it is just Fee and Bo. They've seen more-"  
Bilbo stared at Kili, eyes growing wider in signal.  
"-mo-mo-much worse from all of us on the road, I'm sure," Kili covered.  
"And they won't be home for a while, _anyway_ ," Bilbo added, relieved Kili had not betrayed any confidences. It wasn't a horrible secret, but they did not need to explain their proclivities to Thorin right now. "Should I grab you Fee's dressing gown?"  
"No. Trousers for me, at the very least," Thorin said.

 

*****

Ultimately, Thorin, Bilbo, and Kili opted to raid the pantry and the cold cellar instead of cooking anything too in-depth. If they were to continue their exertions, bloated stomachs would be a terrible idea. They sat around the table munching and making attempts at conversation. Things were a little awkward. Wedding talk seemed in poor taste and Thorin had already told them a lot about Erebor. Thorin decided they may as well discuss common interests.

"Your rings in your navels, you both got them done in Erebor?" Thorin asked.  
Kili replied, "Yes, Oin pierced us both the same day."  
"Same day, matching jewelry. Symbolic?"  
Bilbo answered this time. "A pre-betrothal commitment of sorts. It was a private matter between the two of us."

Though Bilbo's tone said he did not wish to discuss it further, Kili gave him a sweet look. Those had been their first rings exchanged and Kili still felt his heart beat a tad more quickly when he caught sight of their jewelry.

"Fair enough. So, um, when did the two of you, uh, bond?" Thorin asked.  
Bilbo almost spit out his cold chicken. "Why do you ask that?"  
Thorin shrugged. "It is relevant. As a couple, you seem rather...practiced."  
"I think he's calling me a whore." Kili joked, grinning.  
Thorin rolled his eyes.  
"I think he's saying we're... _compatible_ ," Bilbo said diplomatically.  
Kili chuckled. "No, I'm definitely getting 'whore' from that."  
Thorin folded his hands. "And I think you're both avoiding the question."

Bilbo looked down and didn't say anything. Kili took a bite of a roll.

"When I asked you if you had bonded and you said no, was it untrue?" Thorin asked.  
Bilbo sighed in resignation. "No. It happened--happened at Beorn's, about a week after you left."  
"But you weren't truly betrothed in Erebor."  
Bilbo answered, "No."  
Thorin glanced between them. "I see. May I ask another question?"  
Bilbo nodded.  
"Do you frequently share your bed in this way?"  
"See? Whore," Kili giggled.  
Bilbo quieted him with a gentle look. Thorin was leading toward something, not joking with them.  
"No, we do not," Bilbo said.  
Pointedly, Thorin asked, "Has Bofur shared your bed?"  
Bilbo chose his words carefully. "Thorin, I wear two imprints and Kili carries mine alone. You are the only one besides Kili who has touched me like that."

Bilbo thought of Bofur and the things he had been denying him. He felt guilty for letting Thorin have what his beloved companion could not, but he was glad he did not have to confess (or lie about) such things to Thorin. He was also thankful that his answer seemed to be the end of that particular line of conversation.

With the meal completed, Kili excused himself to the water closet, unintentionally leaving Bilbo to contend with Thorin's inquisitiveness. Thorin did not pass the opportunity to speak candidly with Bilbo.

He said, "I'm trying not to make confessions of love or say things that will make you regret our lovemaking, but it has been all I could do today to not tell you I love you, particularly when our bodies are so close."  
Bilbo admitted, "I don't think I could do this if I did not love you, Thorin. I do, you know. I do love you. And this has been interesting, lovely, and incredibly stimulating, but it is also not changing anything."  
"How can it not change anything?" Thorin asked. "I'm not being argumentative, I truly seek to understand."  
"Because you and I are no longer an 'us.' Because you are a sensual, gorgeous, delightful bed mate but we're not good partners, not like Kili and I are."  
Thorin looked up and raised his eyebrows. "Well, you've certainly got me, there. The two of you are very much in tune. Going to bed with you has been an education in that respect. I did not expect you to change your decision in regards to him, not necessarily, but what we've done today...it hasn't done anything to your heart?"

Bilbo fought to school his expression. He did feel something, but he could not stand to give Thorin a hope until he could name it. He deflected Thorin's question.

"I can understand if this is troubling you, or if this respite has given you some clarity of mind. We can kiss and dress and be done with it, if you'd like."  
Thorin leveled a smoldering gaze at Bilbo. "And what if I wouldn't like that at all?"  
Bilbo stood and took off his robe, standing full naked in the kitchen. "Then I'll meet you on the bed after you've gotten rid of the trousers."

 

*****

"This is not taking as long as I had feared," Fili said, sanding a bedpost. "This will be ready before the 22nd without having to rush!"  
Bofur replied, "It helps having this space, I think."  
"I don't think I want to know what you had to say to get us this workshop," Fili teased.  
_"Well, you know Bofur,"_ Bifur added.  
Fili grinned and winked at Bofur. "That's what I'm afraid of. Shameless flirt."  
Bofur winked back. "Only with a treasured few, Fee."  
" _When will the mattress be ready?"_  
"In a couple days. It will be done before we are, especially if Bo insists on all the extra carving." Fili stuck his tongue out at Bofur.  
"I _told_ you," Bofur said, "I want it to be special for them. It will be more meaningful this way."  
"I'm just having you on. I think it is a lovely idea," Fili said.  
Bifur looked up from his embroidery and smiled at the pair. _"The pillowcases are nearly done. I've been working on them before bed. I think I might detail the edge of the sheet, too, unless you think it would be too much?"_  
Bofur replied, "For Bilbo? I think you could needlepoint a whole bedspread and it would not be too much for him. He does so love his doilies and all that, um...what's he call it, Fee?"  
"Crochet."  
"That's the stuff! No, I think it is going to thrill him," Bofur said.  
"Kee, too," Fili added "He's not as focused on keeping house as a hobbit, but he loves fine details and craftsmanship of all kinds. He'll be worth the aching knuckles, if you want to put in the effort."  
_"Of course! How many times does a lad get married, anyway?"_  
Fili glanced up at Bofur. Bofur did not see the tender look Fili gave him, having turned his eyes back to his carving.  
"If all goes well, just once," Fili said softly. 

Bifur smiled again and wished Bombur could have been here to see how Bofur was already thriving in the Shire. He and Bombur missed Bofur terribly, but his cousin had built a new little family that loved him just as much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not everyone followed me over from "Wait...," but those of you who are still reading (and commenting, especially), I want to thank you very deeply. I appreciate you so much!


	13. Love, Thy Will Be Done:  Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Love, thy will be mine  
> And make me strive for the glorious and divine  
> I could not be more satisfied  
> Even when there's no peace outside my window  
> There's peace inside  
> And that's why I no longer run
> 
> _Thy will, Love, be done_ "
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> http://youtu.be/c7HGWfUxtbg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Banner by sradanvers.tumblr.com
> 
>  
> 
> ...and boom goes the dynamite.

Thorin was already riding Bilbo when Kili found them again. Thorin tossed his head and his hair cascaded down his back, muscles rippling in his legs and arse as he rose and fell. Bilbo bucked up against him, eyes locked onto Thorin's. Kili could not help noticing Bilbo gazed at Thorin with affection, but it was not the same cherished look Bilbo saved for him. The other couple's looks for each other were of love but frayed and raw around the edges...maybe with a little more desperation in Thorin's eyes. He noted how much Bilbo and Thorin contrasted each other. Bilbo was small, at turns soft yet fierce under Thorin, who was solid, strong, and altogether _dwarven_. Kili's fingers twitched with an itch to touch both of them, to feel the smooth, sweet skin of his lover blend into hard, hairy flesh. He was aware it was an unusual urge to have. Fili would be appalled that Kili had even thought it.

Kili slinked along the bed on his hands and his knees, stopping next to Bilbo's face. He teased him, waving his prick near his mouth. Bilbo twisted at the waist and grabbed hold of Kili's length, taking it in. Kili bit his lip and looked down. Bilbo was delectable, sucking him down like a rare treat, not missing a stroke into Thorin as he went.

"That looks magnificent," Thorin said breathlessly.  
Kili hummed. "It is." Kili cut his eyes to the side and nodded toward Thorin. "So does that. What do you think, Bilbo? Shall we switch?"  
Bilbo pulled off Kili's cock to speak. "If you'll bend me over."  
Kili's eyes closed, his head dropped back, and he grinned toward the ceiling. This hobbit!  
"I think you will not have to ask more than once," Kili replied.

The trio traded places: Bilbo on all fours, Kili behind and inside him, and Thorin on his knees in front of Bilbo, feeding him his length.

Bilbo's moans and lunges forward while Kili pumped into him forced him to break for breath frequently, interrupting the pleasure he was trying to give Thorin with his mouth. Thorin did not mind, instead trying to figure out this power Kili had over Bilbo. It made sense to Thorin that Bilbo would make noises when being twice pleasured at the same time like none he had made in their own bed, but Bilbo made them with Kili alone. Even during their quieter session earlier when Thorin was assumed to be napping, Bilbo seemed lost to Kili. Thorin was still jealous at turns, but more curious now than anything. He cupped Bilbo's face and rubbed his thumb over Bilbo's lips encircling his cock. Bilbo released him to chase his thumb with his tongue. Thorin dropped to his hands and knees in front of Bilbo to kiss him, feeling Kili's rhythm in an insistent pressure of Bilbo's lips against his.

"How?" Thorin rasped, looking up at Kili.  
Kili replied, "How...what?"

The rest of Thorin's pride had faded. He was physically naked in front of them with little left to lose. He might as well strip down all the way.

"What is it you do to make him react like this? I've watched you but I don't understand. He cries out louder for you, begs for you more, responds more enthusiastically to your touches, and moans into your kisses like I've never-we've never...what do you _do_ to him? What do I not see?"

Kili had thought from the beginning of this rivalry that he could love Bilbo better than Thorin. He had been sure of it, going as far as to promise Bilbo such things long before they had removed their clothes for each other. Kili always expected he'd feel a smug satisfaction from Thorin realizing Kili was the superior partner for Bilbo, body and heart, but he felt no such thing. Kili knew Thorin had to have been a formidable lover to have Bilbo captivated for so long.  He had been allowed a glimpse of it today. Kili understood in spite of the timidity of today's beginnings, a Thorin secure in Bilbo's love--the Lake Town Thorin--must have been a powerhouse. Seeing Thorin in front of him, truly on his knees, conceding defeat and asking him _how_ made Kili inexplicably sad. Instead of wanting to show off to Thorin, Kili needed Thorin to know he had been a truly worthy adversary in the erotic battle for Bilbo's body. He did not have Bofur's nor Fili's gift for talk, though.

"I don't know what I do differently. I pay attention to the things he likes and I do them," Kili replied, slowing his beats into Bilbo.

Thorin sat up on his knees. It could not be that simple; that is what Thorin had always done...or so he thought.  
He took a deep breath and confessed to Kili, "One night in Erebor, I heard you. I had hoped you were merely exchanging favors, but I am doubtless now you were already bonded. Bilbo's sounds that night stayed with me a long time, perhaps even still. What did you do to him to make him respond like that?"  
Kili stopped altogether. "Which night?"  
_Which night_? Thorin thought. He ignored the implication of the question and swallowed hard. Bilbo saved him...sort of.  
Before they had left Erebor, Thorin made this confession to Bilbo, so Bilbo remembered the night in question. He said, "The night we were accidentally loud, Kee, when I went up to the Overlook."

A smile like the wickedest sin spread across Kili's face. He eased out of Bilbo and leveled a look at Thorin so salacious, Thorin could not help the shiver that went through him.

"There is something to be said for a smidge of recklessness and a willingness to try new things," he drawled. He shifted his lusty look to Bilbo. "How is your bum? Perhaps we could replay it for him?"

Bilbo pulled in a breath and exhaled through parted lips, biting into the bottom one. The practice of stretching with fingers while they were coupling was mightily intense. It was not something they did every day, but the pleasure and intimacy when they did was nigh onto transcendent. Although he knew Kili acutely wished to show off his prowess to Thorin, Bilbo was somewhat surprised Kili was willing to share this. However, Bilbo could already feel the phantom of its pleasure from his abdomen to his chest. He was not going to say no.

"I think I can manage that with a little more slick," Bilbo said.  
"You are a wonder," Kili said adoringly, claiming his mouth for several moments. Turning to Thorin, he said, "Slick yourself up."  
"Me?" Thorin asked.  
Bilbo looked at him questioningly. "Kee?"

Kili dropped a peck on Bilbo's nose and gave Thorin a saucy wink.

Thorin did as Kili asked and coated his erection with more oil. Kili added a little to Bilbo's arsehole as well, Thorin discreetly observing Kili's fingers disappearing. When did the two of them become so fun to watch?

Kili directed them to lay back to front, Thorin on his back under Bilbo, Bilbo lowered onto Thorin. Bilbo held onto Kili for leverage for a few strokes before he leaned back. He braced his hands and feet on the bed, Thorin slowly rolling in and out. Kili leaned forward and licked long, torturous stripes up Bilbo's cock without taking him inside. Kili waited until he could taste Bilbo's arousal drip, oiled his fingers, and rubbed around Bilbo's entrance. Bilbo's breath caught once, twice, a third time and Kili pushed one inside, pad side up in preparation to softly stroke against Bilbo's gland.

"Kili, you're touching my _prick_ ," Thorin said.  
"Hush. I'm touching _Bilbo_. Your prick just happens to be there, too."

Thorin ground the back of his head into the pillow. Bilbo had just gotten tighter, and Kili's finger was up against him whenever he moved. He could not deny it felt very, very nice. Kili inserted another finger and Bilbo collapsed back on Thorin, mewling. The closeness Thorin felt with Bilbo's weight on him this way gave him a sweet warmth inside. He wrapped his arms around his hobbit even as he arched against him.

Bilbo did not know whether to push into the pleasure or try to get away from the gorgeous torment of being touched this way. He arched and moaned, the delightful feelings amplified by Thorin's arms warm and secure around him.

"What in Durin's name are you _doing_ to him?" Thorin panted after a particularly violent shudder from Bilbo.  
"You are inside him, moving, and I have stretched him wider, better exposing his hot spot," Kili explained. "Whenever you stroke, you push me into it harder, and with my fingers inside him _just so_ , I'm not letting off the pressure."  
"And this is what you did...back then?"  
"Only using my own cock, but yes."

Thorin choked back a laugh. No wonder Bilbo was so enamored of Kili. Not only did Kili provide him his hobbit pleasures, he invented new ones! The addition of that second digit felt particularly good against Thorin's own prick as he moved. A flicker of shame temporarily colored his face, but it was overtaken by an entirely different manner of flush.

A germ of an idea had been growing in Kili's mind. The more Bilbo and Thorin panted, the more Kili wanted it. Kili slipped a third finger into Bilbo, making the hobbit sputter. Kili felt Bilbo seize his arm.

"So much! Let me...l-let me adjust," Bilbo stuttered.

Kili did as he was told and Thorin paused as well. Bilbo eventually rolled his hips and allowed movement again. Kili pulled against Bilbo's muscle more than he tried to pat against his most sensitive area. When he was satisfied, he removed his fingers, slicked his prick, and positioned himself between Bilbo's legs.

Bilbo felt the smooth, curved head of Kili's cock bump against his entrance. His head snapped up to see. "What are you--you can't be serious! _Kee_?"  
Kili leaned forward, his already dark brown eyes seemingly blackened with lust.  
He murmured, "Tell me you do not want it and I'll stop. Tell me you do not want to know how this feels and I swear I'll believe you."  
Bilbo never could bring himself to lie to Kili about anything important and he was not going to start now.  
"Do it," he whispered, repeating Kili's words that more or less began this experience, however many hours ago.

Thorin was not sure what was happening above him; Bilbo was blocking anything he could see from Kili's waist down. He felt a pressure that halted when Bilbo questioned it. He heard the exchange between the lovers and, although he was unsure of what they spoke, the _way_ they spoke of it was achingly sensual. He did not have to wonder long because the pressure returned. Bilbo was being impossibly stretched around himself and what could only be the head of Kili's cock. _Kili's_ cock. Kili's _cock_. He did not know whether to panic or-

"Thorin," Kili murmured. "Do not move just now, okay?"

Thorin thought it might have been the only time thus far this day that Kili sounded less than sure. This was to be an utterly new experience for all three of them, then. He cherished the notion as much as he was excited by it.

Kili moved slowly, rocking gently, pausing when Bilbo squeezed tensely. He took the hobbit's hand and kissed it, alternating whispered words of encouragement with sentiments of love and dirty suggestions.

Thorin listened to Kili speak over his own heartbeat and Bilbo's irregular breaths. Hearing Kili's voice, he again felt like an outsider looking in on this world of theirs. It occurred to him that although Kili had been complimentary thus far, he had not spoken sweet words of love to Bilbo while the three of them shared the bed, likely by careful design. That Kili would be so tender now helped Thorin realize how new and significant this must be to them.

Bilbo felt a burn as though he were again a virgin. How poetic that Thorin would be here for this second deflowering! With every motion, he felt Kili gain a little more depth.

Bilbo's head lolled back past Thorin's shoulder. Thorin turned his head and saw Bilbo's eyes were shut tightly. The hobbit made a strangled sound before taking a deep breath.

"Does it hurt?" Thorin asked, concerned.  
"Yes," Bilbo whispered.  
Thorin glanced up. "Kili, it is hurting him. Stop."  
"No, don't you dare," Bilbo said. "It will get better, and when it does, I want the two of you to fuck me--fuck me until I don't know my name, fuck me until I scream, fuck me until I _spill_. I want you to make the worst mess of me. Truly, fill me."

Thorin had almost forgotten how much he missed this: raunchy, wanton Bilbo in bed had been his favorite, and here he was asking for one of the filthiest things Thorin could imagine. Beyond his imagination, actually, for Thorin _hadn't_ considered it ever before. It came from Kili's brilliantly deviant mind. He was again reminded of how he was sexually bested by his nephew--not nearly as fumbling as he had once thought--but Thorin was too thrilled by the prospect of being a part of something so obscene to feel upset about being second to him right now.

Kili was in about as far as he could get with Thorin inside, too. He was not quite rooted, but it was close enough to make him quite happy he had already finished twice. The tightness, the lewdness, the forbidden nature of what he and Thorin were about to do to his--to their--lover would have brought him to his knees had he been less satisfied this day. Bilbo was flushed, panting, and all but gagging for it himself.

"Are you ready?" Kili murmured, leaning forward to kiss Bilbo's breastbone.  
Bilbo licked his lips. "Yes."

Kili stroked and Thorin was stunned at how good it felt for _him_. Bilbo was tight on one side, pulling Kili close on the other, and Kili's prick kneaded against him with each pass. Even without much movement, he could come like this. Though his body had no problem with it, his conscience told him such a thing was not okay.

"Kili, you're, ah, _rubbing_ against me," Thorin said.  
"Inside Bilbo," Kili added.  
Thorin argued, "-but against _me_."  
"Does it feel good?" Kili asked.  
"Yes."  
"Do you need to remove yourself and let me do this to Bilbo with my hands?"  
"...No."  
"Then hush and move," Kili said with finality.

Bilbo had not thought about it in this manner. Thorin and Kili would be rubbing together, like when Bilbo and Kili would press themselves together and wank as one. It unsettled him, but not enough to call an end to it. He couldn't stop now.

Kili and Thorin tried to work out a rhythm but Thorin was limited in movement by being more or less pinned by the two bodies. It also seemed to cause Bilbo discomfort when they both attempted a stroke, so Thorin's contribution to the movement was the circling of his hips.

"What does it feel like?" Kili murmured.  
"A bit like I'm a wishbone," Bilbo joked between breaths. "I feel _everything_. Every time you move, I-you...it is all exposed, I'm not spared any of the-- _oh!_ \--sensations to be had."  
"Does it still hurt?" Thorin asked.  
"The pulling apart it is intense. With only one of you moving, I feel more pleasure than pain. Kili's movement is in the just the right place to rub, though, so it is okay."  
Thorin kissed Bilbo's shoulder and turned close to his ear. "I love how you feel, so tight around me, so perfect in my arms...I love you. I'm so sorry but I can't bite it back any longer. I love you."  
Bilbo's arms crossed his chest, grasping onto Thorin's. He couldn't say it back, not with Kili right in front of him, _inside_ him, but by the Valar, he felt it.

"Thorin," he whispered reverently.

Kili rolled in and out of his lover, the one he was going to marry, rubbing their other lover's prick in the process, yet he felt like some manner of interloper on this private exchange. He saw the joy in Thorin's face--and the pain in Bilbo's. He knew the hobbit was holding back and he also knew why. Kili shifted to lay against Bilbo, able to look upon each of them.

"He loves you, too," Kili said, catching Thorin's gaze.

Thorin looked up in awe. With everything they had done today--all that had transpired, the words that were said--this was the moment Thorin felt the most bare. Strangely enough, none of them had stopped what they were doing. The pleasure had not ceased, it was merely added to by this new feeling. Kili was looking at him, wide-eyed and easily as vulnerable as he was, and letting him have this moment of knowing Bilbo loved him, too.

Bilbo's heart swelled when Kili made his confession on his behalf. Bilbo looked up lovingly at his sweet Kili, so selfless, so kind, so beautiful, so--

\--so staring at _Thorin_ like he was some natural wonder? Bilbo turned his head to see Thorin's gaze equally locked with Kili's. He tried to quell an ugly feeling that wrenched inside his gut.

"It's true, I do," Bilbo managed to say.

Bilbo's words seem to break the spell between the dwarrows. Thorin stretched to claim a kiss from Bilbo, pressing against his temple to push his tongue in deeper. Kili pitched forward to claim a kiss immediately after.

"I love you," Kili whispered against his lips before rearing back for easier movement.

Their moment of sweetness had passed, but the intensity was increasing. Thorin circled, pushing up against Kili on his upstroke, allowing the most punishing pressure against Bilbo's hot spot. Bilbo moaned, sighed, and babbled nonsense sounds as Kili and Thorin took him completely. They were not silent themselves, Kili groaning and murmuring Bilbo's name, Thorin contributing plenty cries of his own as well as whispering private endearments in Bilbo's ear. Kili's hands smoothed up Bilbo's thigh and continued onto the swell along the side of Thorin's buttocks, trailing up his torso, and finding a hand to momentarily pin to the bed. Before Thorin could speak (and before Bilbo noticed), Kili's hand continued to travel, caressing Bilbo's jaw, fingers eventually being captured by Bilbo's mouth when they got too close.

Kili's touch surprised Thorin. It seemed too tender a thing to be shared between romantic adversaries, never mind relatives, though Thorin's reservations about the latter were falling away rapidly. Kili and Bilbo were destroying him--destroying his propriety, his decency, his beliefs, and everything he thought he knew. Another hour in this bed and Thorin fancied he might beg for it.

The bad feeling in Bilbo faded, leaving him to the utter bliss of being so taken by his lovers--his bond-mates. Thorin was under him, his every sound rumbling through Bilbo's back in a way long-forgotten. His hands were everywhere, touching and feeling him as though he would vanish into thin air at any moment. Thorin could not move, but his lips where everywhere he could reach, when erotic sounds and sweet words were not escaping them. Kili was atop him, moving, pulling thrillful sounds from him with each serpentine motion. Any discomfort left at this point dissolved into the ecstasy of such intimacy. Bilbo wanted to ride this out as long as he could before giving into the inevitable conclusion. He felt a tingle race along his skin imagining what it would feel like for his lovers to climax inside him, moments apart, still split wide by them both.

Thorin licked and bit into Bilbo's neck, sending shivers through him. He latched onto him and sucked a mark, half expecting Kili to have something to say about it. He peeked up to see if he should be wary. Kili's eyes were closed in something akin to euphoria. He was breathtaking. Thorin mentally berated himself for every rude thing he said about Kili's appearance (in or outside his presence) while they warred over Bilbo's heart. Kili had deserved none of it.

Kili loved everything about Bilbo under him, slowly losing control, clamped close around him. He liked the feeling of Thorin helping make it tighter and the feeling of them sliding together along the sensitive underside of his prick could easily get Kili off. Thorin was doing everything he could to participate: rolling his hips, kissing, touching, but it was Kili bringing Bilbo the biggest pleasure. Perhaps that is what Kili thought he wanted when they started, but he understood now what he could do for Thorin to show him he was an admirable competitor. Kili had one trick left he once longed to show off to Thorin, but Thorin would be the one performing it.

"Thorin, let us trade. It is your turn to make him wail, I think," Kili said.

Neither Bilbo nor Thorin had an argument. They carefully switched places, taking care to add more slick to ease their way. Kili held Bilbo to him, nuzzling into his neck. He loved holding him like this, truthfully. He felt the stretch and slide of Thorin joining him. The pressure of gravity made Thorin's movements feel all the more fantastic. No wonder Thorin had been so vocal!

Thorin could cover Bilbo more than Kili from this position, being taller and longer in body. It was easy for him to invade his mouth with kisses while he stroked. The tightness and the heady rush of erotic control over those underneath him served to add to his physical delight. Thorin worked in steadily as Bilbo's moans grew more frantic.

Kili felt Bilbo shudder both above and around him. His cries served to prove Thorin was not failing at his duty. One of Bilbo's arms broke free and he moved to touch himself. Kili ran his hands down both Bilbo's arms, seized his hands, and held them with his against the bed.

"No. Not today," Kili said.  
" _Please!_ I already feel as though I'm being fucked in two! Let me! _"_  
"You are not to touch yourself and Thorin is not going to either," Kili whispered saucily.  
Thorin wondered what Kili was doing. It seemed cruel.  
"Fuck, _Kee!_ I'm already going crazy," Bilbo complained.  
"Then you're about halfway there," Kili said, winking up at Thorin.  
Thorin did not know Kili's game, but his expression compelled Thorin to play along. "Either he holds you down or I will. No touching."  
"Merciful Valar!" Bilbo wailed.

They were all vocalizing their pleasure, but none like Bilbo. The pressure of Thorin and Kili inside him was immense, with Thorin stroking his spot masterfully and relentlessly with every pass. Bilbo was aware he was sweating, panting so that his throat was dry, and occasionally reverberating off the walls. The familiar pleasure coiled and then held agonizingly steady, neither abating nor bursting.

"I can't--I-I _can't_ ," Bilbo gasped.  
"Oh, I think we've established that you _can_. You can and you will," Kili said, a tad breathless himself.  
"What's he going to do?" Thorin asked Kili.  
Kili grinned at Thorin wickedly. "You're going to fuck him until he comes from your cock alone."  
Thorin gaped, disbelieving. "No..."  
Kili had a gleam in his eye when he replied, "Yes."

Thorin felt a flex from his stones up through his stomach, as if he needed the help getting closer. _Bilbo had best get to it if he wants to beat me,_ Thorin thought. He renewed his effort, hoping he could last.

Bilbo shrieked a broken cry, pushed further to his limits of pleasure than he had ever remembered. It was unbearable, it was glorious, it was torture and rapture all at once. He pleaded to Kili and Thorin to touch him, to help him, to let him finish. He struggled but Kili held him fast. His eyes were tightly shut in an attempt to bear it but his mouth was an open grin, as though he could not decide whether to laugh or sob. His muscles had locked for so long they ached. He'd never wanted to come so badly, and Kili had had him on some pretty intense edges.

"Please, make me, let me come! _Touch me_! Thorin, Kili, please! I need-I can't bear anymore... _Fuck!_ Kili _!_ " Bilbo begged.

Kili felt the telltale heat of Bilbo's imminent orgasm. "Come on, Thorin. He's almost there. Can't you feel how he's almost there?"

Thorin felt as ruined as Bilbo looked, sweating, panting, moaning, and _needing_ to see this marvel of which Kili spoke. He felt Bilbo tighten just ahead of an ear-piercing, shredded scream that had to hurt Bilbo's throat. Bilbo arched up and his cock twitched, streaming streak after streak of semen across Bilbo's abdomen, some shooting as far as his chest. Thorin was stunned by the sight. It was as obscene as it was unbelievable. He wondered how Kili learned that Bilbo could do _that_?

Bilbo's orgasm ripped through him. All he could do was hold on--it felt so extraordinary it nearly hurt. The post-shocks kept shaking him well past normal, almost as long as the night they were under the influence of drugged elvish wine!

Bilbo's pleasure found, Thorin continued onward, forcing new moans from Bilbo and Kili both. Bilbo's eyes were closed and he was clinging to a post-orgasmic haze while Thorin's movements stirred up the last bits of pleasure to be had. Kili, though--Kili was rolling his hips like a maniac and whimpering. Mimicing Kili's earlier touch, Thorin stroked up Kili's side, grasped his hand, and held it next to his head. Kili gazed up at him with desperate eyes.

"You two feel so good. Bee, you're so tight. So, so tight," Kili breathed. "That's it. Keep going, keep moving. I feel your cock rubbing against me--so good."  
Thorin groaned, savoring the tension building inside him. Kili speaking to him was getting there faster.  
"Yes, yes," Kili gasped. "Fucking yes. Gods, keep moving like that! Thorin, you're going to make me come! _Thorin!_ "

Kili roared as the pleasure snapped, erupting inside Bilbo, his fingers entwined with Thorin's. One of the waves was so strong he moved all three of them off the bed. His body jerked against his will as the power of the orgasm waned.

Thorin felt it when Kili came, spilling warm and wet around his cock and making it more slick. He had just made his lovers come--both of them--and Kili had finished _on his cock_. Thorin hadn't even completed the thought before he was roaring and filling Bilbo himself.

Bilbo had barely come down from his own finish when he heard Kili begging for his own. _Begging whom?_ Bilbo wondered through the fog. His eyes snapped open when he heard Kili calling to Thorin. He looked over at them. They were staring each other down and holding hands, as though Bilbo were nothing more than a vessel! He felt the ugly, awful feeling inside again, this time all the way to the back of his throat. He was about to give into a visceral impulse to claw his way off the both of them and ask them what in the bloody void they were thinking when Kili came, followed by Thorin. The bonds shot through him, toes to fingertips, momentarily overwhelming his other functions. It was nearly another orgasm, but this one through his body in wider, broader waves. He grew dizzy, only somewhat aware when Kili and Thorin pulled away from him. His anger from a moment ago was lost in the distraction.

*****

Fili and Bofur came back from bed-building for a snack. They hadn't expected a full tea, but they figured they'd raid the pantry if Bilbo was out. As soon as they opened the door, faint sounds of sex drifted to their ears. Bofur raised a mischevious eyebrow and Fili grinned. Afternoon sex by full daylight was something they hadn't had the privilege to watch yet in Bag End. They headed straight for the master bedroom, Bofur's excitement growing. He was already planning how he would undress Fili and put on a little show of their own. With tender moments having transpired between himself and Bilbo these past couple days, perhaps the hobbit would finally relent and allow Bofur his kisses. Kisses and sweet touches--Bofur felt almost too indulgent hoping for such good fortune.

The closed door unpleasantly jarred Bofur out of his daydream.

"It is closed," he whispered.  
"How can it be closed? It hasn't been closed since we got here," Fili whispered back.

They heard Bilbo cry out followed by a deep baritone moan.

Bofur looked at Fili worriedly. "That was decidedly not Kili."  
The deep voice vocalized again.  
Fili ran a hand nervously over his hair.  
"No, that was Thorin," he confirmed bitterly.  
A third voice added in Bilbo's name and a few moans of its own.  
" _That_ was Kili," Fili said.

He slowly looked up at Bofur in shock as he realized what must be happening behind the door.

"Kili can't--Thorin's his--they wouldn't--but Bilbo--" Fili stammered angrily, trying hard to keep his thoughts together and his voice low. He pinched the bridge of his nose and managed to get a full sentence past his lips. "Tell me Thorin isn't _in bed_ with Kili and Bilbo. That can't be happening."

Bofur looked at Fili, stricken, the full implication of the matter crushing him under its weight. Fili watched the color drain from his face.

"No. No, no, no, no, no," Bofur muttered, sprinting down the hall and out the door. "No, no, no, no."  
Fili chased after him, hissing "Bo! What are you doing?"

Bofur ran outside, around the house, and up to Bilbo's bedroom window with no regard for the mums planted below it. He looked in and his heart fell to his feet. Thorin was on his back, holding Bilbo back to front, kissing his shoulder. Kili was at Bilbo's front, holding onto him as he stroked in and out. They were angled enough that Bofur could see all too clearly that Kili and Thorin were both inside Bilbo. Bofur closed his eyes tightly and pushed back from the window.

"Bo? What is it?" Fili asked.  
Bofur gestured toward the window as he stumbled toward the path. "See for yourself," he said, voice breaking.  
Fili took in the scene and backed away, confused. He joined Bofur where he stood.

"But-but Kili said there were to be no hands on Bilbo," Fili said, dazed.  
"Obviously not," Bofur said bitterly, wiping at his eyes.  
"And their...their cocks are touching. Thorin practically _raised_ Kili and their _bloody cocks are touching_!" Fili caught his voice rising and brought it down mid-sentence so half the neighborhood wouldn't hear.  
Bofur huffed a laugh that was anything but merry. "So clearly, _I'm_ the one Bilbo doesn't want anything to do with. Thorin and Kili can be _related_ and fuck him at the same time, but Valar forbid I dare kiss him!"  
Bofur was pacing and pulling on his own braids, hurt and upset.  
"That can't be true, it just can't," Fili insisted. "Bilbo adores you."

Hearing Bilbo _shrieking_ through the walls from where he had stood on the path, Bofur stalked back to risk another look through the window. Kili was now on his back, Bilbo's back to Kili's chest, Thorin pressed to Bilbo's chest as the two dwarrows pumped into Bilbo. Bilbo was begging and pleading to come, crying out both their names, and obviously loving every moment of what was happening in that bed. Bofur lost the feeling in his legs for a moment and staggered away. He felt a pressure in his chest and was having trouble getting a breath. He bent over, hands on his knees, until the tightness went away. It left behind a dull ache.

Fili watched Bofur's distress helplessly. He did not know what to do for him. Or himself, for that matter. He was not fighting tears as Bofur was, but his horror made his head pound. Kili had to be barking mad to let Thorin take Bilbo to bed! Take them _both_ to bed! Yet Fili and Bofur were neither one permitted to so much as touch Bilbo. Also for consideration were the familial ramifications of Thorin and Kili sharing a lover--to the point of mutual penetration! Fili was furious on Kili's behalf as well as actually at his brother, angry about the hurt this was causing Bofur, and simply jealous in his own right. In one afternoon, Thorin might have managed to shatter their perfect, odd little friendship as well as put Kili's wedding in jeopardy.

"I've gotta go, Fee," Bofur said suddenly, wiping more tears from his eyes.  
"Go where?"  
"Somewhere that isn't Bag End. I can't-I simply...can't. I'll meet you later at Bifur's. At the inn."  
Fili was confused anew. "Should I come with you?"  
BIlbo shook his head. "I would like to be alone, but only for a little while, okay?"  
Fili wrapped his arms around him. "I love you, Bo. I don't have anything to say about what is happening in there right now but I can't bear to see you cry."  
Bofur squeezed him back. "I love you so much, Fee. I swear I do. I've just-"  
"I know."

*****

Kili spread a panting Bilbo's legs after they withdrew from him. The hobbit was on his back, still streaked with his own finish.

Kili said, "Look how wide we stretched him, Thorin. _Mahal_ , and he's dripping with come."

Kili licked the dribble from Bilbo's entrance, moved up to lick along Bilbo's stomach, and kissed the mixture of semen into Bilbo's mouth. Thorin could only stare.

"Come on," Kili taunted. "Feed us to him. You know he's a slut for it."  
"You-you already licked it from him," Thorin said.  
"Push, Bilbo."  
Bilbo's hole fluttered and another dollop of semen oozed forth.  
"You want to make it memorable and dirty for him, don't you?" Kili said.

Thorin dipped between Bilbo's thighs, holding them back for better access. He hesitated for a moment before licking the seed from Bilbo, trailing his tongue through the mess on Bilbo's chest, and tonguing it all into Bilbo's mouth. He claimed a few kisses more than strictly necessary to complete the act, arousal trying valiantly to rise again from the pure _filth_ of it. Encouraged by Bilbo's whimpers, he returned to Bilbo's stomach and licked him clean before kissing him again. Thorin went down a third time and licked his hole.

"We may have created a monster, Bee," Kili joked.

Thorin moved up for Bilbo to taste his tongue. He reached down and a finger slipped effortlessly inside Bilbo. "I want to make you come again," Thorin whispered.  
"I-I am not sure I can," Bilbo said shakily. "I think I'm, uh, done."

Through nuances in Bilbo's expression and tone, Kili saw the invasive portion of their tryst was effectively over. His demeanor changed accordingly, going from sex fiend to caregiver in the blink of an eye.

"Playtime is over, it seems," said Kili, not unkindly.  
Thorin sighed and frowned. It pulled at Kili's heart.  
"Come, why don't you have a cuddle before we dress?" said Kili.

Kili stretched along Bilbo's side, Thorin on the other. Their knees brushed as they slung their legs over Bilbo's. Thorin marveled at how much his perspective had changed in a few short hours. Earlier, Kili's _bare knee_ would have been cause for alarm. After making him climax, a little knee brush didn't seem like anything to worry about.

Kili gently cradled Bilbo's jaw and murmured affectionate and tender sentiments into his ear until he grew drowsy and began to slur.  The day grew later and the sun more slanted as they stayed pressed together on the bed. Kili slipped in and out of a doze.

Bilbo did not find the comfort between Kili and Thorin he had felt before. The roiling in his stomach returned once his blood slowed from the surge of the bonds. Kili and Thorin sharing their seed with him was achingly erotic until the second time Thorin fed it to him. Thinking about it being Kili's come in Thorin's mouth put the image of the two of them in his mind again, Kili crying Thorin's name to make him finish. He almost recoiled when Thorin's finger slipped inside him again. The game stopped being fun when he was being left out, merely used for their orgasms for each other.

Bilbo sat up, worried he might vomit. "I'm not feeling very well," he said.  
"Do you need me to go?" Thorin asked, hoping he could stay to sleep through the night with them. It would be like that night in Erebor, only naked!  
"I do not wish to be rude, but I think perhaps? We could make you a bit of dinner before we send you on your way," Bilbo said, not feeling like making dinner but not wanting Thorin to feel uncared for after their day together.  
"If you feel ill, I do not want you up and making us dinner. We put you through a lot today, I should have thought sooner to check in on you," said Thorin.  
Kili knitted his brows and looked over Bilbo. His color was noticeably poor. "Bee, why did you not tell me?" Kili held the back of his hand to Bilbo's forehead to see if he was warm or clammy.  
"I'm telling you now," he said in exasperation. "Don't fuss, either of you."  
"Do you want to stay for a bath?" Kili asked Thorin.  
Bilbo shot him an immediate look that made Kili regret it.

Thorin didn't want to admit it to them, but he wanted to wear Bilbo on his skin for the rest of the night. Thorin was oblivious to Bilbo's look to Kili.

"No," he replied. "Although I'm loath to end this magnificent day, I think it is time for me to dress and go."

They dressed, Kili remembering to show Thorin the fixed boot that started the whole situation. Bilbo checked the wound and the bandage. It seemed no worse for their exertions today. Then again, Thorin was not on his feet for much of it. Bilbo's nausea had abated by the time Thorin was ready to go.

"I am at a loss for words," Thorin said. "Today was truly beyond my dreams. I already feel the ache of its loss, but I will never forget it."  
Thorin hugged Bilbo tightly. "And should you ever crave such exotic pleasures again, I would anxiously volunteer."

Bilbo felt the urge to cry as he had at each of their partings, even though he knew he would see Thorin again tomorrow. He thought he might want Thorin's touch again, but could not tell him. He had done enough to accidentally hurt Thorin to know when things he said might get taken too much to heart.

Bilbo reached up to caress Thorin's beard and fiddle with a braid. "Our time together was beautiful-- _you're_ beautiful--but I cannot promise you anything beyond what has already been given," he said.  
Thorin closed his eyes and gave a brief nod. He looked at Bilbo. "May I have another kiss?"  
Bilbo stood on tiptoe, lifting his chin. Thorin met his lips, holding him firm with one arm as the other snaked into Bilbo's hair. Thorin kissed him passionately, tasting the corners of his mouth. When they parted at last, Thorin whispered, "I love you."  
"I love you, too."

Thorin awkwardly shuffled in front of Kili. "I suddenly realize I have no idea what to say to you now that your clothes are on. This was, um, not exactly-"  
Kili cut him off. "Do you regret it?"  
"Pardon?" Thorin asked.  
"Do you regret it? My role in the things we did? Bilbo aside, do you wish you could undo it?" Kili asked softly.  
Thorin met Kili's searching eyes. "I do not."  
Kili smiled. "I do not either, so there is no need to be uncomfortable with me."  
Thorin embraced Kili. "Thank you," he whispered into his hair. "Thank you for allowing me to live a dream, even for a few hours. It meant everything to me."  
Thorin brushed the back of his knuckles along Kili's cheek. Tipping his chin up, he brushed a soft kiss across Kili's lips.  
"Feed up our hobbit and put him to bed," Thorin said, hoping for lightness in his voice.

He stepped back from the two of them, lunging in for one more hug from Bilbo before opening the door and heading off to the inn.

 

*****

"We truly did put you through a lot today," Kili remarked, gently washing Bilbo in the bath. "No wonder you did not feel so well at the end."

Red (thankfully not broken) scratch marks bloomed across Bilbo's flesh and he had bites and red marks sucked into his neck and shoulders. He had a couple new bruises, too, but thankfully they were small.

Bilbo tried to sass back that Kili looked just as bad, but he didn't, not really. A couple suck marks and a few scratches on his shoulder were about it--the same as any random night of the week with Bilbo at Bag End.

"How's your bum?"  
Bilbo quirked a tiny smile. "Not as bad as you'd think."  
"You've been pretty quiet since he left, maybe even before that. We should probably talk about today, hmm?" Kili asked.  
Bilbo had not sorted the blissful from the strange from the ugly in his mind yet. "Can we do it later? After food?"  
Kili laughed. "That's my darling hobbit. We haven't eaten enough today for all this activity. I'm willing to bet your green face owed in part to that!"

Once washed and dried, Kili insisted Bilbo sit while he fixed their food.  
"Fee and Bo still are not home!" Kili called from the pantry. "Should I make enough for all? We haven't seen Bifur or Ori tonight, either. Do you think it will just be the two of us?"  
"I do not know. I think we would have seen Ori or Bifur already," Bilbo called back.  
Reappearing in the kitchen, Kili asked, "Do you think they came home early?"  
Bilbo shook his head. "We would have heard them, I think."  
"Or they would have heard _us._ "  
"No, we were done well before they would have gotten home. At worst, they heard your snoring during the last cuddle."  
"I did not snore! I was barely asleep," Kili protested.  
Bilbo could not help but giggle at how cute Kili was when he was indignant.  
"C'mere, you," Kili said, urging Bilbo into his arms.

He clasped Bilbo's ring hand and brought Bilbo's knuckles to his mouth for small kisses, placing a last one on Bilbo's ring. Bilbo's heart fluttered at the gesture. He cupped his free hand at the back of Kili's neck and pulled their mouths together. Their stomachs reminded them they had been about to fix dinner, though they had been close to forgetting about it entirely.

 

*****

Fili waited a couple moments outside Bag End when Bofur left, thinking he would have a few cross words with Thorin, Kili, and Bilbo. He heard Bilbo through the walls again, this time with Thorin's voice, and decided he could talk later. He found Ori and his hobbit friends easily, but he was in no mood for their cheer. He excused himself and went for a walk, winding up over the bridge and down along the creek, past the deep and wide part to where it became more easy to wade. When the sun began to lower in sky showing the first few blooms of pink, Fili turned around to head back to parts better known. He wondered where Bofur had gone to work through his mind, sparing a moment to also wonder if Thorin was still at Bag End.

He had a hundred questions in light of that calamity, none of them good. He didn't even want to _think_ some of them, let alone say them out loud. He could not decide if he was more angry at Thorin, Kili, or Bilbo. Thorin was the one always pushing for Bilbo, but Kili somehow allowed their uncle to bed with them! Not just watching, like Fili and Bofur, or even merely touching Bilbo. The three of them were _together_. Bilbo was the one who decided Fili and Bofur were not to touch him, but he was in there being stuffed like a turkey. Oh, _Bofur_. Fili's heart broke for his cherished love. As jealous and hurt as Fili was, he knew Bofur had to feel the betrayal three times over.

It was dark when Fili reached Bifur's room. He found Bofur there, not particularly talkative, eyes still displaying the evidence of quite a crying jag, though a couple hours old by now. Bofur did not want to eat in public--Fili could not say as he blamed him--and had planned to skip dinner altogether. Fili knew Bofur had skipped lunch, eager to make progress on the headboard for Bilbo and Kili, and tea...well, tea was a _disaster_. Fili persuaded Bofur to let them bring him something from the pub. He invited Bifur along to find out what had transpired.

 _"He showed up about an hour ago looking much like he looks now, though his eyes were more swollen and his nose was running like a sieve,"_ said Bifur on their way.  
"I've never seen him like this," Fili said.  
_"Can't recall the last time I saw the lad cry. It is not his nature to be sad, you know."_  
Fili did know, which only compounded the ache in his chest. "Did he say anything?"  
Bifur shook his head. _"Not very much. He said that Kili hurt his feelings and Bilbo had broken half his heart away, but he did not say how. I had a mind to go demanding answers from them, but I think it would do more harm than good. Bofur is probably the kindest soul I know. I can't imagine anyone hurting his feelings._ "  
"For what it is worth, I do not think it was intentional. It does not lessen the damage, though."  
_"Do you know what has him so torn up?"_  
Fili hesitated. He was not sure how much Bofur had shared with Bifur, plus other people's bedroom activities were not Fili's business to tell.  
"I have an idea," Fili said. "But not enough to explain it any better than Bofur could, were he willing."

Fili coaxed Bofur into swallowing some dinner, though his own distress rendered his food as flavorless as sawdust. He figured Bofur must be feeling the same.

"Come on, Bo," Fili said after dinner had settled. "I think Bifur is sleepy and has had enough of our surly moping. Let's go home."  
"Home," Bofur scoffed, as though the word itself tasted bitter.

Bofur and Fili exchanged their hugs and thanked Bifur for being there for them. Bifur was still not quite sure what had transpired, though he had some strong suspicions of his own. One did not weep like that over a _friend_. He hoped Bofur and Fili could get it sorted soon. Bofur had been so happy this afternoon.

*****

Bofur and Fili walked in silence. Bofur stopped as they reached the hill.

"Fee, I can't go in there just yet," he said. "I don't know what to say, or if by rights I could say anything at all. All I know is I can't look at them right now."  
Fili reassured him. "We don't have to. The night is not so cold that we couldn't walk around for a while longer."

Walking around is what they did, eventually resting their legs against a tree in the peach grove.

"I did not know if you would want to speak in front of Bifur, but do you want to talk now?" Fili asked.  
Bofur shook his head. "What's to say? Thorin has spent the week giving me nasty looks in what is, temporarily at least, my own house, making me feel threatened for being where I was invited. We're told 'look but not touch' for weeks, wanting nothing but happiness and good things for Kili and Bilbo, and then we're shut out so Thorin--of all people--can _fuck_ him."

Bofur's voice wavered and Fili feared the tears would return in force. Bofur took a few deep breaths and lost a drop or two, but no sobs were forthcoming. Fili rubbed his back soothingly with one hand while resting his head on his shoulder.

"I know, love." Fili sighed. "I know."

 _The three of them better have one corker of an explanation for this,_ Fili thought.

 

*****

Bofur and Fili had not yet come home when Bilbo was ready to head to bed. Kili snuggled next to him under the blanket.  
"Did our time with Thorin today change your mind? About us, I mean?" Kili asked.  
"No!" Bilbo replied. "How could you think that?"  
"I didn't think it would, but I thought the question was better asked. You seemed a bit different afterwards," Kili said.

The thought of Thorin touching Kili--of making him _come_ \--sickened Bilbo. As much as Bilbo loved the banter between the three of them and Kili's directions, he hated the touches and the gazes between Kili and Thorin. He did not care for the feeling of being used that came over him when he was being left out of their private moment. The rest of it, though--Yavanna's Grace! The rest of it was spectacular. Now that he had a few hours to think about it, the parts with Kili and Thorin were not yet worth complaining about to Kili. He reminded himself it was merely the heat of the moment. They could not have given Bilbo that pleasure without touching each other, after all.

"It had its awkward moments, as to be expected, but I can't say I didn't enjoy myself," Bilbo said. "Feeling both of your bonds come alive in me was amazing--I had no idea it would feel so good. To be honest, though, I was shocked you had this idea at all."  
"I wanted you to be happy--you were so longing--and Thorin had been so sad. I started out thinking I would prove something to him about our love, but ended up learning something about the love between the two of you, instead."  
"I have love for him, and obviously I have lust for him, but do not forget I am making my life with _you_."  
"Would you want to do this again? Open our bed to him? Or to Bo and Fee? Maybe not for bonding, but for more than looks?"  
Bilbo's heart beat a little faster thinking about Bofur's mouth on him. "Would you? You would not be jealous?"  
"I would have thought myself to be far more jealous of Thorin than Fee and Bo, but it was not as bad as I supposed. If you were to invite him back again, I would look forward to shattering you with him."

Bilbo's own jealousy twitched within him. Kili should not be so _fine_ with this, nor so eager to have Thorin naked with them again. Still, Kili was another creature of pleasure like himself, and a terribly curious one at that. Bilbo was in no hurry for Thorin and Kili to take liberties with each other again, but the memory of getting twice fucked at the same time softened the harsher feelings. Perhaps he could say something to prevent it, should they try it again. As Kili had said before, he did not mind if the only hands on him were Bilbo's. What got him off were the extra hands on Bilbo himself.

"So?" Kili asked.  
"This might or might not have been Thorin's last stand, so to speak. We'll have to wait and see," Bilbo said, noncommitally.  
"And Fee and Bo?" Kili said.  
"I suppose it seems sort of silly to deny them, given what we've done with Thorin. I feel like there is more there that could go wrong, though. It gives me pause."  
"More to go wrong than you taking your former lover and my blood relation, three times, in the most intimate ways imaginable?"  
Bilbo chuckled. "No," he said, drawing out the vowel sound. "More at risk; more to lose. Thorin was already gone from our daily lives and we had made our peace with him being mostly in our past. Fili and Bofur are the people closest to us. The things we already do with them makes me want to get push it further still, but the losses would be devastating if we made a mistake. If _I_ made a mistake."  
"The decision is yours--truly, on all these things--but think on them. Think on poor Bo. If he stares at your lips any harder, he's going to go blind," Kili joked.

Bilbo laughed, but Bilbo _had_ been thinking about Bofur. Kili hinted at times he knew Bilbo's feelings for Bofur, but did he know Bilbo's feelings were returned? Would that change things for him? For Fili?

"You truly were a marvel today," Kili said. "I think I could wank for the rest of my life to the way you looked, felt, and sounded. Sometimes, I still cannot believe I am lucky enough to be your lover."  
"My husband," Bilbo said, fidgeting with Kili's hand that wore his ring.  
"Talk like that is going to get you fucked again," Kili warned playfully.  
"My bum is on bedrest, but I'll be happy to give a fucking to _you_ ," Bilbo said, sliding a suggestive hand down Kili's thigh.  
Kili purred in contentment. "Didn't you get enough today, already?" he teased.  
Bilbo climbed on top of Kili and kissed him. "Not of you. There will never be enough of you."

Bilbo didn't stop until he drove Kili to the peak of madness twice. He would be damned to the Void if Kili's last orgasm today was going to be Thorin's.

*****

Thorin curled up in his bed, alone but not unhappy. His imprint, his connection to Bilbo was no longer atrophied. He could scarcely believe that today had transpired. Thorin had loved Bilbo so much and pined for him for so long...this morning was a realization of so many fantasies, as well as a few he had not the imagination to conjure! He was kicking himself, having spent all these months jealous and brooding when he could have been helping Kili and Bilbo warm their bed. He'd never had deep, romantic feelings for Kili, but he had to admit that he was sexually enticing. Kili was inventive, provocative, wicked, gorgeous, and lewd. He made Bilbo bloom as Thorin had never seen him, and helped Thorin bloom a little, too. That mind! That mouth! Seeing him with Bilbo, seeing the things the two of them could do with Bilbo, thinking of the things they could possibly do to each other--the potential was obscene!

He had long clung to the hope he could someday woo Bilbo away from Kili, though it had grown thinner with time. Once he came to the Shire, he realized it was a fool's hope, but it wasn't until he saw them in bed that he understood how impossible a task it truly would have been. Love alone was hard to fight, love coupled with friendship even moreso, but he had not a goat's chance of besting a dragon to fight the sexual hold Kili had on Bilbo. More unfortunate, after today Thorin adored Bilbo more than before. His heart ached even as his soul rejoiced, all for the reunion with his bond-mate. If Thorin was to ever have Bilbo's love again, he'd have to make room for Kili...and find a way to convince Kili it would be in his best interest to share his love with Bilbo.

Incest was not unheard of amongst homosexual dwarf couples, though it was not quite common. It was more taboo amongst bonded couples, though Thorin reasoned much of that was due to the fact that bonds were heretofore only known for heterosexual couples--couples that could potentially have children. All that changed with Bilbo when he introduced penetration to male couples. Full couplings with homosexual pairs could not result in offspring. He was madly in love with Bilbo, he had admiration and respect for Kili, and today proved he could seek out unusual pleasures with them both. _This could work,_ Thorin thought, feeling the first spark of hope in weeks. The three of them could be the first union of its kind.

 _"All Bilbo needs in this world is the royal family and he will be happy,"_ Balin had said.

"Oh, Balin, you had no idea how right you were," Thorin murmured.

****

Fili and Bofur slept in their own bed at Bag End, having come in late to a quiet house. The smells of breakfast woke them.

"Want to go eat?" Fili asked cautiously.  
Bofur sighed. "May as well."

Bilbo greeted Bofur with a huge hug. Bofur accepted it woodenly. Bilbo did not seem detered. Instead, he flashed him a heart-melting smile.

"Bo! I missed you terribly at supper last night!"

Bofur smiled weakly but offered no explanation. Bilbo was still bustling around, finishing the cooking, and so did not notice Bofur's unusually flat mood. Indeed, neither Kili nor Bilbo noticed Fili's surly demeanor or Bofur's silence either one because Gandalf came knocking and quickly drew the focus of the four housemates.

Throughout breakfast, Bilbo caught up in the latest gossip from Buckland and the Southfarthing. For his part, Kili was trying to learn the names and relations so he could better _understand_ the gossip from Buckland and the Southfarthing. It seemed gossip was a key to hobbit socialization. Living with Fili, Kili had gotten the hang of such things but it was important in hobbit culture to get the names and the families right. After the meal, Gandalf went outside witih Bofur and Fili for a pipe. Bilbo and Kili lagged behind for a little clean up first.

*****

Thorin leaned over the gate to Bag End, uncharacteristically cheerful.

"Kili? Bilbo?" he asked of the three smoking near the bench.  
Fili's smile abruptly left his face. "Inside," he said.  
"Thank you!" Thorin said, letting himself in.

Bofur and Gandalf had lost their grins as well.

"Thorin? When did Thorin get here? Why did no one tell me?" Gandalf demanded.  
"He got here a few days ago, with a small contingent of our company from Erebor. Some of them have gone on to Ered Luin ahead of the wedding," Bofur explained.  
"No one thought this important information?" Gandalf asked, growing agitated.  
Fili shrugged in defense. "I suppose I assumed Bilbo mentioned it, somewhere in between talk about Brandybuck Halls and Bracegirdles."

Gandalf paced with his hand over his mouth, muttering and glancing at the door.

"Gandalf? What is it? What do you know about Thorin?" Bofur asked.  
Replied Gandalf, "Not about Thorin, but what his presence could mean."

Fili and Bofur glanced at each other. The wizard frequently spoke as though everyone could hear his inner thoughts when, in reality, they were clueless as to what was spinning through his mind.

"What is Bilbo's mood since Thorin came? Is he well? Is he happy?" Gandalf asked in rapid succession.  
Bofur blinked. "Yes, he seems quite happy. You saw him just a few moments ago, that's pretty much how it has been."  
The tension left Gandalf's shoulders. "Indeed," he said, puffing on his pipe.

Bofur did not like Gandalf being suddenly so agitated about Thorin's presence and Bilbo's well-being. He would not have liked it in any case, but he had not forgotten Gandalf was not simply some wizened old man.

Bofur's tone was strong but beseeching when he spoke again. "Gandalf, what is this all about? Why do you fear so for Bilbo?"

 

****

Thorin found Kili and Bilbo in the kitchen.

"Please, I would like to speak with you somewhere we will not be disturbed," Thorin said.  
"Sure, Thorin, what is this-"

Before Bilbo could finish the thought, Thorin had one of Bilbo's hands and was leading him to the master bedroom, using the other one to pull Kili along as well. Once there, he closed and latched the door. Thorin looked happy, _excited_ even, and Bilbo felt a twitch of arousal even as he feared for the state of his arse.

Thorin took two large steps forward, grabbed Kili's face, and kissed him full and open on the mouth. Kili stared back, eyes wide in shock. Thorin was not daunted and kissed him down onto the bed. He leaned back to look at Kili. Kili's expression was one of both surprise and inquisitiveness. His lips were parted, he was panting, and a flush crept across his cheeks.

Bilbo was stunned. He couldn't speak, couldn't move. This...this was not happening. He must have picked the wrong mushroom for his eggs, or he was having a nightmare, or anything that would explain this was not real.

"Thorin? What is this about?" Kili asked.  
"Us. _The three of us_. Together. Kissing. Touching. Fucking."

Thorin claimed Kili's mouth again, Kili kissing him back this time. Encouraged, Thorin unlaced Kili's trousers and reached in. Kili had already stiffened.

Thorin said, "Yesterday, the things we did! _Mahal,_ we could have been doing that all along. Bilbo taking me, you fucking him, both of us squeezing him dry in the middle."

Kili's breath hitched and he slowly wet his lips. Thorin grinned, licked his hand, and stroked Kili's cock as he talked.

"Or perhaps you'll fuck me while I fuck him. The three of us, we could complete the bond all around. We could be a trio, not a couple," Thorin promised, voice thick with lust.

Kili bucked into his grip and whimpered.

Thorin appealed to Kili's natural curiosity. "You saw Bilbo yesterday. You _heard_ him. I've never heard such ecstasy. Don't you want to feel what it is like?"  
"Yes," Kili whispered.  
"The three of us will have the filthiest sex," Thorin continued. "Can you imagine how the two of us could make him beg and cry?"

Kili threw back his head and bit his lip. Thorin was driving him out of his mind with his words and his stroke.

"I'll hold you against me while Bilbo and I fuck you. He'll rub against the part that makes you scream and we'll make you come until you are hoarse."

Kili moaned and pulled Thorin down by the neck to kiss him hungrily. He was about to finish in Thorin's hand.

Bilbo saw Kili tug Thorin into a scorching lover's kiss. It was as though something deep within him slipped from its proper place, sending his insides spinning. It snapped Bilbo out of the wordless shock in which he had been standing by. The spark of jealousy that had smoldered within Bilbo since their bed session the day before now engulfed Bilbo in a consuming flame. With strength that surprised all of them, he pulled Thorin off Kili and shoved him toward the door.

"Get out," Bilbo snarled.  
Thorin protested, "I don't-"  
"I said _get the fuck OUT_!" Bilbo screamed in fury, giving him another forceful push toward the door.

Thorin thought it best to comply. Bilbo was looking at the door as it shut behind Thorin when an exasperated voice behind him said, "Confound it, Bee! I was about to come."

Bilbo whirled around, aghast. Kili was sitting up on the bed: a flushed, breathless mess for what Bilbo thought were all the wrong reasons.

 

*****

Gandalf was trying to think of the best way to explain Elrond's vision to Fili and Bofur when a shriek reached the path from inside the house.

_"I said get the fuck OUT!"_

"Bless me, that was Bilbo!" Bofur cried.

Bofur's hand was on the doorknob when the door opened, nearly tumbling him inside. Thorin joined them on the path, breath heaving. He was flushed and his expression was pure bewilderment.

"Thorin?" Fili said.

Gandalf assumed his full height. "Thorin Oakenshield, what have you done? Speak!" he commanded.

 

*****

Kili was confused. They were all just in bed yesterday and it was fine. What Thorin was doing and saying was similar to the scandalous behavior they were up to the day before. Kili simply thought it was more of the same. The awful look on Bilbo's face let him know he'd clearly made a huge misstep, somehow. Kili tied up his trousers.

"Is that what you want, Kili? Your own bond with Thorin? Fucking him?"

Kili paused, unsure what Bilbo would want. Bilbo didn't _seem_ to want Thorin with Kili, but he liked the things they did yesterday, including Kili fucking Bilbo in Thorin's spend and rubbing with Thorin inside him. He was confused. He didn't want to make another mistake like whatever it was he just did. He and Bilbo talked last night about occasional playmates and Kili was up for it, but something long-term between the three of them was different and the additional bonding particularly so, especially considering it was Thorin. Kili did not wish to open up their relationship in the way Thorin was proposing, but he could not tell what Bilbo wanted. Thorin made an excellent case for pleasure, of course, but none of this supposed to be about Kili. It was about Bilbo. It had only ever been about Bilbo for Kili. Bilbo was the one talking about how good the bonds felt intertwined. If Bilbo wanted it, if this is what he needed, then Kili would give it to him.

"D-don't you?" Kili asked, hoping for clarification.  He did not want to tell Bilbo no if Bilbo's wish was yes.

Kili's long hesitation made Bilbo physically ill. The question that followed it made it worse. So Kili _did_ want this, and was surprised that Bilbo would not. Had Kili wanted Thorin all along?  Was Bilbo to simply be the conduit to take the sting out of such forbidden love?  Tears stung Bilbo's eyes and his blood boiled. He was heartbroken and rabid at the same time. He stormed out the door.

Bilbo moved through the house with swift determination. Kili was right on his heels, looking lost and horrified.

*****

Thorin started when Gandalf barked at him, but he was not going to be bullied by any wizard! He did not understand what had happened in Bilbo's room to explain it to anyone, anyway. Fili's face was full of worry and Thorin was moved by his nephew's concern. He was going to request to speak to Fili privately when Bilbo flung open the door, incensed, with tears spilling from eyes that looked like murder. He focused immediately on Thorin.

Kili caught up with Bilbo just outside the door, a breath before Bilbo let loose on Thorin. Kili grabbed his elbow and turned him around, gutted to see tears streaming down Bilbo's face. Bilbo did not let him speak.

"It serves me right after yesterday to lose you in this manner," cried Bilbo.  "I should have known better than to go against fate and Yavanna's blessing for our love. The pain is unmanageable and nothing could possibly soothe it, not any longer. Now that you've given yourself over to Thorin, I see little point in bothering to draw breath."

He turned on Thorin. Bilbo's eyes--shining with tears and raw with pain and love for Kili--narrowed now and reflected hurt and fury. He shoved the dwarf so hard that Thorin fell back on the path.

"You selfish fuck! You couldn't leave us alone, could you? You couldn't simply be happy with sometimes! All or nothing and nothing in between for the mighty king! I _told_ you I loved him! I've been telling you since we first left Erebor how much I adore him! I told you I would die without him! What gives you the right? How dare you? You have Erebor to run! You have Balin and Dwalin! You'd eventually even have Fili and Kili again, anyway, because hobbits don't live forever! Without Kili, all I have is my empty smial and a bunch of memories to rip out my heart!"

Bilbo looked at Gandalf. "How could you do this to me? Why did you not just leave me alone with my tea and my doilies? Why did you bring me on this journey to see the love and beauty I was missing in my life only for it to be snatched away? A drop of gravy on the tongue of one who did not know he was starving? Had you left me alone, I could have lived out my natural life if not happy, at least content enough! Not like this, wretched and broken! Damn you!"

Bilbo stumbled backward, sobbing.

"Damn you all! Damn you to the Void!"

Bilbo took off running. Everyone was crying, though Fili and Bofur weren't entirely sure why. Bilbo's weeping and the pure pain in his voice as he hurled his accusations were enough for them. Kili collapsed into Fili's embrace, sobbing. Thorin's cheeks were wet with tears as he stood up from where Bilbo pushed him. Gandalf was the only one not crying, though his expression was grave. He watched Bilbo run blindly. Bilbo fell down twice as he ran.

"Bofur, follow him," Gandalf commanded. "If I were guessing, I'd say he's making for the treeline to the east along the creek. If you run, you should be able to keep him in your line of sight."  
Fili nodded when Bofur glanced back at him. Bofur ran in Bilbo's direction, but hobbits were quick and he had gotten quite a head start.

Thorin was shocked, embarrassed, and filled with guilt. He did not know what happened after he left the room, but none of this was what he intended. He extended a hand to pat Kili on the back, closing it into a frustrated fist when he thought better of it, then decided to give him an awkward pat anyway.

"I-I didn't mean...I'm sorry, Kili," Thorin said.  
"Go inside, Thorin," Fili said sternly. The sobbing wreck that was his brother shook his arms. Fili was going to find out what happened if he had to torture it out of Thorin.  


"I should go back to the inn," Thorin said.  
" _Inside,_ Thorin, and wait for me," Fili gritted through his teeth. "If you do not, I swear to The Maker I will slice off your braids."

Thorin knew better than to get between Fili and his brother, whom this was obviously about. Dwarrows did _not_ jest about cutting hair. Thorin bowed his head in Fili's direction and went back inside.

Fili glanced up. "Gandalf, why did you have Bofur follow Bilbo?"  
"Elrond had a vision that Bilbo took his own life. I did not believe it would be his fate, but I feel better with Bofur following him."

Kili's head shot up the moment Gandalf said "Elrond had a vision." Kili knew well the potential in Elrond's second sight.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Kili cried. He shot a panicked look at Fili and ran as hard as he could run after Bofur and Bilbo.  
"Was it today? Was Thorin involved? What did Elrond say?" Fili demanded, resisting the urge to shake the wizard.  
Gandalf shook his head. "Elrond said Bilbo would be alone and that Thorin would be involved, but little more. He could not see Bilbo clearly past September, though."  
Fili began to panic as well. "He had a huge head start on Bofur, Gandalf. Maybe _this_ is the moment he is alone! I've got to follow them!"

Gandalf looked back over the field, Bilbo long gone from his sight but Kili still well in view. Bofur was in view of Kili, he was sure, and Bilbo likely still in view of Bofur. However, Fili had a point.

"I shall go with you," Gandalf agreed solemnly.

*****

As Bilbo ran, he thought he could hear a voice far behind him shout. Bilbo reached for his pocket and the invisibility of his ring. He had been so upset, he left his waistcoat and his magic ring both in their bedroom. No, no their bedroom, not anymore. _His_ bedroom. His tears came afresh and he ran for the creek.

*****

Gandalf walked fast, fast enough for Fili to jog to keep pace with him. Bofur had disappeared behind the trees and Kili had nearly caught up. A shattered scream split the morning.

" _GANDALF! SOMEONE!_ "

The devastation in the voice brought new tears to Fili's eyes. "That's Bo!"

Fili and Gandalf broke into their fastest run. The sound of Kili and Bofur shouting and weeping helped them find them beyond the treeline. Gandalf felt as though he had been punched hard in the stomach. There, at the bank of the widest, deepest part of the creek, Bofur and Kili were on their knees. They were soaking wet and Bilbo was motionless on the ground between them. Bofur was frantically trying to pump water out of Bilbo's breathing passages. Kili was sobbing and desperately screaming Bilbo's name, as though it would wake him.  Bofur saw Gandalf and Fili approach.

"Gandalf! I can't revive him!"  
Gandalf dropped to his knees and compressed Bilbo's chest.  
"How long had he been under?" Gandalf asked urgently.  
"Long enough to only be a ripple on the water. Had I been even Kili's distance behind, I might not have found him at all. The creek here is deep."

Gandalf swore. He continued attempting to pump water from Bilbo's chest, whispering words the others did not recognize. Bilbo choked up a mouthful of water and gasped.

Kili leaned over him, inadvertantly dripping in the hobbit's face. "Bilbo?"  
Gandalf pushed Kili out of the way in annoyance.  
"Bilbo?" Gandalf called.

Bilbo coughed violently and his eyes fluttered open. He managed to breathe normally once the coughing subsided...until his gaze landed on Kili. He was immediately hysterical. Gandalf put the whole of his palm against Bilbo's eyes and face, murmuring in ancient speech. Bilbo calmed instantly, not coming to wakefulness again. Gandalf leaned forward with his ear to Bilbo's chest and listened.

"What is it? What did you do?" Kili asked wildly.  
"I've used what healing abilities are available to me and put him out so they may work. He has a strong heartbeat, still, and he did not spit up much water. It seems Bofur may have gotten to him just in time."  
Kili was still weeping. "When will we know?"  
"We'll know better as he wakes, but I believe the immediate tragedy has been avoided," Gandalf said gravely. "What drove him to this...well, that is a problem he will still have after the spell wears off."

Gandalf gently scooped Bilbo up, cradling Bilbo's head against his chest. Bilbo was limp in Gandalf's arms. It was nearly more than Fili. Bofur, or Kili could bear to look upon.

With Gandalf bearing Bilbo, the four of them trudged silently back to Bag End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 13,000+ words. Do you even remember the thing you wanted to comment on at this point :D ? I hope so! 
> 
> <3


	14. I Have Come To Doubt (All I Have Known Was True)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Bilbo saw fit to make an attempt on his own life," Gandalf said, gravely. "Bofur found him in the creek where Bilbo was underwater and nearly drowned. Between us, Bilbo was revived. He was quite overwrought, so I have spoken healing spells over him and put him to sleep so they may take effect."  
> "What? No!" Thorin cried. "Not Bilbo, not my Bilbo!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who read the comments, I decided the upcoming scenes I teased did not need to be all in this chapter. It made for a faster update, which I know some of you will be pleased to find.

The solemn walkers were only noticed by a handful of hobbits on their way back to Bag End. Gandalf, knowing how word could get around, deflected them well, saying there had been an accident but Bilbo would be fine after a couple days' rest...with _no interruptions_. Gandalf was a bit of a mystery to all but a handful of Shire families and, within Hobbiton, the Bagginses only. Therefore, he was confident that Bilbo would not be harassed. In fact, if they played it right, Bilbo could wind up with a pantry full of "get well soon" pastries, cakes, and savories. Gandalf figured that would make the little hobbit happy...at least in one respect.

*****

Thorin sat at the dining room table, wondering what was taking Fili so long to come in and say whatever it was he wanted to say. Thorin did not dare leave, though. King or not, Fili had been serious. It was not only Fili's threat but Thorin's respect for him that kept him glued to his chair. Fili was the oldest, the heir, and had rarely spoken so roughly to Thorin. Fili clearly placed blame on him for whatever sent Bilbo into a rage and Kili into a weeping mess. Thorin needed to let Fili have his say and at least defend his own end of it. 

His thoughts moved to Bilbo. Oh, _Bilbo_. Yesterday, Thorin held the world in his arms. How did he manage to fuck things up so thoroughly? After all they had done, after the glint in Bilbo's eye when Thorin closed and latched the door today, he thought sure Bilbo would agree to Thorin's proposal of a new arrangement. After all, Bilbo loved Thorin and Kili, plus he already had bonds with both of them. Believing if Bilbo knew life with Kili _and_ Thorin was a viable option, it never occurred to Thorin that Bilbo would still choose to make his life with Kili alone. 

How would he have guessed Bilbo would react so terribly to Thorin kissing Kili when just yesterday they were taking Bilbo at the same time? Thorin had seen Bilbo at what he would have considered to be the hobbit's worst, but he had never seen anything set Bilbo off like that. He was rabid, insulting, and _strong_. Bilbo had pulled his full weight off Kili as though Thorin weighed no more than a pillow! And the things he said! Yesterday, Bilbo's words and tone were so sweet, so tender. Today was a nightmare in comparison. Bilbo loosed such vitriol towards both Thorin and Gandalf that he could barely believe it happened. The memory of Bilbo's anguish rang between Thorin's ears even still. 

" _You'd eventually even have Fili and Kili again, anyway, because hobbits don't live forever!_ "

He was not wrong, Thorin supposed, but creatures with shorter lifespans did not realize that some fifty-odd years did not pass in an instant, not even for dwarves. It would still be fifty years of loneliness, heartache, and pining before the lads would return to Erebor. Thorin himself would likely be inching toward his last quality years by the time they returned--and they would return without Bilbo. He would live those fifty years without the hobbit, fifty years of knowing Bilbo was filling someone else's days with joy and nights with passion unrivaled. Worse, it would be fifty years of knowing when he saw Kili and Fili at the gate again, it would mean his precious hobbit was gone from this world. Didn't Bilbo understand?

A shuffle and quiet commotion at the door stirred Thorin from his spot. Gandalf was carrying a limp Bilbo, the other dwarrows softly weeping and looking as grim as death.

"What has happened?" Thorin asked in horror. 

Fili started. In the commotion, he had forgotten he asked Thorin to wait for him. Kili barely noticed Thorin was there. Bofur could only glare. 

"There has been an...incident," Gandalf said, carrying Bilbo to his room. 

The dwarrows followed, Thorin sidling past them to catch up to Gandalf. 

"What manner of incident? Is he injured? Gandalf, I pray you speak. _Please_!" 

Thorin's anguish and his pleading momentarily softened Gandalf's resolve. The wizard glanced at Kili, the only one among them who could truly speak for Bilbo. He would not tell Thorin anything Kili was unwilling to share. Kili rolled his lips inward, brow furrowing, and a sob threatening to break free. He nodded his assent, for he did not trust his voice to say the necessary words out loud. Not yet. 

"Bilbo saw fit to make an attempt on his own life," Gandalf said, gravely. "Bofur found him in the creek where Bilbo was underwater and nearly drowned. Between us, Bilbo was revived. He was quite overwrought, so I have spoken healing spells over him and put him to sleep so they may take effect."  
"What? No!" Thorin cried. "Not Bilbo, not my Bilbo!" 

Thorin rushed over to look upon Bilbo with his own eyes, vision already blurring.

"Oi, Kili helped, too," Bofur said, voice also wet with tears. "I pulled Bilbo from the water but Kili waded in and helped me get him to the bank."

Bofur could not explain why it was suddenly so important to him that Gandalf and Thorin knew that, but he felt better once it was said. 

Gandalf sat Bilbo gently on the quilt and Thorin was by his side in a flash, holding a clammy hand and stroking Bilbo's wet hair. Thorin kissed Bilbo's knuckles and whispered quietly in Khuzdul. Kili was at his other side, doing nearly the same. Fili itched to join them, but did not feel like it was his place. Bofur thought bitterly that the two people to drive Bilbo to this end should not be (again) on the bed with him, attempting to assuage their guilt.

"Kili, Bilbo needs to be out of these chilled, damp clothes--particularly before they seep through the quilt. We'll give you space," Gandalf urged Thorin up and away from Bilbo's side with unexpected gentleness as he spoke, "and you can dress him properly for bed. He needs to be changed and made warm. Truly, all three of you should get out of your wet clothes, but Bilbo first."

Thorin reluctantly let go of Bilbo's hand, placing it gently on the hobbit's stomach and rising with Gandalf's soft touch, unwilling to pull his eyes away until the last possible moment. This was his fault, somehow. But how? What did he do that was so terrible? Couldn't Bilbo have just told him "no?" Mahal, what between earth and sky _happened_ when he left Kili and Bilbo alone? 

Gandalf left Kili to care for Bilbo and ushered the other dwarrows through the door. Kili leaned out into the hall as they followed Gandalf toward the dining room. 

"Bofur? Will you help me with Bilbo, please? He's too much weight unconscious and I cannot do this myself without hurting him."

Bofur looked to Fili, receiving a kiss on the cheek and a nod to go ahead. 

*****

Bofur helped Kili remove Bilbo's wet clothes, noting the love bites and faded scratches from yesterday's activities with envy. He held Bilbo while Kili turned down the bed and dug through the dresser looking for a nightshirt. It was likely that Bilbo had not worn one a single night since Kili joined him in Bag End. Although Bofur cradled a fully unclad Bilbo in his arms, there was nothing erotic about it. This was far from what he envisioned his first touches of Bilbo's bare skin to be. He pressed a kiss to Bilbo's wet head and slightly swayed with him, as one would with a babe.

Concern for Bilbo was plainly etched on Bofur's face as Kili saw the kiss from the corner of his eye. He imagined the affectionate gesture was more for Bofur to soothe himself than the unconscious hobbit. Kili finally found a nightshirt and motioned for Bofur to place Bilbo on the bed, holding his arms up so they could get the shirt on him.

"Kili?"  
"Hmm?' Kili replied, focusing on his task. His own culpability for what happened made it incredibly difficult to look directly at Bofur at the moment.  
"Why me? Why did you call on me to help and not your brother?"  
Kili paused his movements for a breath before continuing.  
"Because you love him like I do," he said.

Clothed dry and comfortably, Kili eased Bilbo back onto the pillow and Bofur pulled the blankets over him. Bofur forgot sometimes that Bilbo was shorter and slighter than the average dwarf. His personality was so large that he often seemed bigger than Gandalf. Unconscious, quiet, and vulnerable, it startled Bofur how small Bilbo seemed.

"I'm going to get dry now and you should, too." said Kili. "I appreciate the help."

Bofur wanted to sit with Bilbo until he woke, but he could tell when he was being dismissed (however kindly). He tenderly smoothed a drying curl away from Bilbo's face and caressed his cheek. Bofur walked toward the door without another look at Kili. With the initial terror now fading, his anger was growing.

"Thank you for his life," Kili said, breath hitching.

Bofur stopped for a moment, but did not look back. He left the couple alone in their room.

*****

Bofur joined the others in the dining room.

"How is he?" Thorin asked. 

Bofur squinted one eye in annoyed confusion. Did Thorin think there was going to be a huge change in Bilbo's condition in the ten minutes he was gone? A sharp retort was on the tip of his tongue but Bofur reminded himself Thorin was Fili's uncle and clearly upset by all this. He silently counted to five to reduce the acid from his voice before he spoke. 

"Sleeping, as before, but now warm and dry as requested. He had a few bruises, but seems to have taken little bodily harm. I believe Kili means to sit with him a while in private."

Thorin wondered how many of those bruises were from yesterday. 

_Wait._

"You saw him unclothed?" Thorin asked.  
Bofur was tempted to tell Thorin how unclothed he had seen Bilbo before, but decided now was not the time. Instead, he said, "He had to be undressed to be redressed, you realize."  
Fili sensed an argument was nigh. He sought to diffuse it. "Of course he realizes it, Bo. He's simply not thinking clearly. None of us are, I'm sure."  
"Quite," Gandalf said, shifting his gaze from dwarrow to dwarrow. 

He mentally kicked himself for not asking more questions when he came to town. The magic in their charmed quartet seemed faded. Something was obviously amiss with more than just Bilbo.

*****

Kili changed into his dry, hobbit-made clothes and pulled the chair close to the bed. He stroked Bilbo's arm and hand tenderly but the hobbit did not stir. This would be the second time he sat watching Bilbo sleep after a row serious enough to end them. He hoped this one would have a similarly happy resolution when Bilbo woke to find him sitting there.

*****

Ori, Chadham, and Thodora came calling around lunch, not having heard the gossip spreading through the neighborhood. It had been quietly decided to keep the true nature of Bilbo's near-drowning a secret amongst themselves. Therefore, they told Ori and his friends the same thing they had told the hobbits. Ori and his friends decided they wanted to wait with the dwarrows and Gandalf for Bilbo to wake.

Bofur gently tugged Gandalf's sleeve to get his attention.  
He whispered, "As our battle brother, Ori is very welcome, but I don't know if Bilbo would rightly wish for Ori's two hobbit shadows to be witness to any of what is done or said here today."  
Gandalf nodded. "I agree."

Gandalf stood and put a gentle hand between Ori's shoulder blades. "Ori, I expect it will be some time before Bilbo wakes. The wait might be too long and solemn for the sweet and merry company you keep. No one will think you love Bilbo any less if the three of you make a more pleasant day of it."  
Ori beckoned Gandalf to crouch low. For Gandalf's ears only, he said, "Are you trying to send me away? Because I wish to be here for my friends."  
Gandalf could not help but smile, for Ori was no fool. "Bilbo would not want the other hobbits alarmed or distressed. Dwarves are hardier folk, but I think it is for the best for your friends to leave this dour house and find a happier afternoon. It would be rude to ask them to leave without you, and they would not choose to leave your side otherwise, am I correct?"  
"No, they wouldn't," Ori agreed. "I see your point. As long as you are not trying to be rid of me as well?"  
"None of us--least of all Bilbo--would dream of it, Ori."  
"In that case, perhaps I will come back and fetch you for dinner and you can tell me how it goes?"  
"I think that would be quite nice, indeed," Gandalf said. 

*****

Knocking soon enough after Ori left to have only just missed him on the path was Bifur. 

_"I've been waiting at the workshop,_ " said Bifur, " _but now I see your faces, I know something is gravely amiss and I shall refrain from the scolding I had planned_."

Bofur took Bifur into the parlor to give him as much of an explanation as he could bear, choking back tears as they threatened. He trusted Bifur to keep what limited details Bofur shared to himself. 

_"Is Bilbo's woe related to your own episode yesterday?_ "  
"In part, I believe," Bofur admitted. "I was not able to have my own conversations with Bilbo or Kili either one before this, um, incident."  
 _"Do you love him?_ "  
Bofur did not ask whom. Looking at his cousin with watery eyes, he whispered, "Yes."  
Bifur nodded, sucking in a cheek. _"I shall sit and worry with you, if I'm welcome, until you need me no longer._ "  
"Of course you're welcome," Bofur said, embracing Bifur. 

Around the dining room table, now, sat Gandalf, Thorin, Fili, Bofur, and Bifur. Fili shot angry looks at Thorin, but the king rarely looked up to see them. The tragedy, narrowly avoided, had stilled many tongues. Thorin had no wish to share any details or make confessions while Gandalf, Bofur, or Bifur were present. Fili spared Bifur and Gandalf the spectacle of raving at his Uncle and spared Kili and Bilbo the embarrassment of sharing the privacy of their bedroom with anyone who had not been welcomed into it. Time passed slowly and Kili remained with Bilbo.

*****

Bilbo made a soft sound, prompting Kili to sit forward in his chair. Bilbo's head lolled in his direction and his eyes blinked open.

"Kili?"  
Bilbo's voice in that moment was one of the sweetest sounds Kili had ever heard. He smiled in relief. "Bilbo, my jewel." 

Kili's smile faded as he realized Bilbo was neither returning it nor leaping into his arms as he had before. 

"You-you fell into the creek," Kili said awkwardly, attempting to get Bilbo to talk.  
Bilbo sat up. "I think you and I know that isn't true. How did I wind up here, though?"  
"Bofur found you. Between Gandalf and Bofur, you were revived. Do you remember that?"  
"No."  
"You were, uh, distressed when you came to, so Gandalf did some magic and set you back to resting. He carried you back here and put you to bed." Kili gazed at Bilbo tenderly. "I've been waiting for you to wake."  
His loving look was not returned.  
"Which now I am, so you can let me be," Bilbo said coldly.  
"Bee, please, you didn't allow me to explain before," Kili said.  
"Which part?" Bilbo asked acidly. "The part where you put your tongue in Thorin's mouth or the part where you complained I interrupted the orgasm he was about to give you?"  
"You misunderstood!"  
Bilbo scoffed. "Oh, did I, now? Please, do not treat me like a simpleton. I suppose you were so overwhelmed with love for me you couldn't help yourself from nearly coming in Thorin's hand?"  
"Stop it, Bilbo," Kili warned.  
Bilbo snapped, "No, I think you should stop it. All this time, wanting other people in our bed, inviting other people to touch me...it was only a matter of time before you would want them to touch you, too. Want _him_ to touch you. You knew he was going to bring up taking me to bed sooner or later and you planned to already have me used to the idea. Whatever hero worship you carried for Thorin from childhood, your reaction when you found out you were his favorite--it was more than just familial love. All this opening up our intimacies for others, it was simply practice for Thorin, wasn't it? All this talk about wanting to be better than Thorin, when in reality you simply wanted to be good _for_ Thorin. I was going to be your husband, Kili. I wasn't supposed to be your whore."  
Incredulous tears were welling up in Kili's eyes. "My whore? Bilbo, no! Mahal, none of that is-"  
"-You need to go. Leave here, as soon as possible."  
"Please, no!" Kili sobbed. "Don't send me away."  
Bilbo worked off his ring and handed it to Kili. "Go back to Erebor with your _king_. You wanted him so badly, and obviously he wanted you. Go plan your royal, incestuous wedding, because ours is off."  
"No! Gods, no, please. This has gone all wrong!"  
"I suppose you should have thought of that when you made your decision, then."  
"But I didn't-"  
"Shall I call for Gandalf and have you removed?" Bilbo threatened.  
"Please," Kili croaked. "For all that is beautiful in this world, please just listen."  
Bilbo folded his arms, raised his eyebrows, and nodded toward the door.

Kili knew he was not reaching Bilbo right now and did not want to risk Gandalf's involvement, lest Gandalf banish him from Bag End or something equally horrible. He needed time and a way to get Bilbo to simply _listen_ to him. With reluctance, he chose to do as Bilbo asked. Before crossing to the door, he took the bag he used to wear around his neck off its hook by the dresser. It hung there in a place of honor as a testament to their love and devotion through the most trying of times. He never thought he'd be wearing it again. He tucked Bilbo's ring inside and clutched it tightly as he went to the door.

"Kili," Bilbo quietly called after him.  
Kili turned around hopefully.  
"You may take your ring off, now."

*****

Kili walked out into the dining room, tears streaming down his face but otherwise stunned. Another time, he might have been embarrassed to have all these people see him cry so much in one day, but he could not bring himself to care about anything but Bilbo.

"Kee?" Fili said worriedly.

Kili sat slowly and turned his eyes to Thorin. "Bilbo has cancelled our wedding so that I may accompany you to Erebor as your partner."

FIli, Bifur, and Bofur gasped. Gandalf just palmed his forehead.

"You and Bilbo are not getting married so that I may be with _you_?" Thorin said in horror. "That was not how this was supposed to go! There is no point in taking you back if Bilbo doesn't go, too!"  
"You weren't supposed to take either of us back!" Kili argued. "I was going to marry him!"  
"So was I!" Thorin countered.

Thorin and Kili stood and argued, each talking over the other. Fili chimed in, at first as peacemaker but soon arguing himself.

A fist banging the table quieted them all.

"ENOUGH!" Bofur shouted. " _Shut your cakeholes, the lot of you_! Do you understand what nearly happened here today? Bilbo--our kind, brave, generous hobbit--nearly died. We narrowly avoided sitting around this very table making plans for his burial and it is Kili and Thorin's fault!"  
"Bo--" Fili started with the intent of defending Kili, but Bofur ignored him.

Bifur sat quietly, observing a rare fire rage behind Bofur's eyes. This was going to be rough.

"What were you thinking, Kili? What did you say to make him think you would give him up for Thorin?" Bofur asked.  
Bofur whirled around and walked right up to Thorin. "How many times in how many ways do you have to be told that Bilbo is in love with Kili? If you loved Bilbo--truly cared for him--you would want him to be with the person who makes him happiest! Instead, you've been plotting, scheming, and wheedling since the battle to undermine his wishes. And when working against Bilbo didn't work, you turned your influence on Kili. I didn't have to be raised in your family to know that Kili practically idolized you his whole life. I wonder when you got the idea that if you could coax Kili into your bed that Bilbo would follow? You don't deserve to be their bond-mate! Where is the mutual love and trust? All I see is lust and greed. There's no actual consideration for their feelings, plans, hopes, and dreams--just a need to fuck and claim ownership. It is all about what _Thorin_ wants. Why? Because you had a tragedy when you were young? Because you had a hard life? Because you are royalty? Tell me, what entitles you to ruin lives simply on the whims of your prick?"

Fili was stunned rigid. He had never seen Bofur so livid.

"I do not answer to you," Thorin gritted through his teeth. "And you would do well to remember yourself. I am still King of Erebor and you are courting my heir."  
"King," Bofur spat. "Not an honorable, worthy king. No, Thorin, you are the worst kind--a selfish, craven monarch who only thinks of himself. Well, you may be King in the mountain but here you are simply a jackass. If you think you would use my relationship with Fili as a means to control me, then you shall be bitterly surprised. That may have worked with Kili, but it will not work with Fee. Fee has integrity and thinks with more than simply his cock."  
"Now wait a minute," Kili protested.  
"If you try to deny that, Kili, then you are not only a damn fool, but you are a liar to boot," Bofur said.  
"Bo, he is obviously heartbroken by all of this," Fili lectured, putting comforting hands on his brother's shoulders.  
"It's true," Kili whispered.  
Fili said, "What?"  
Voice still quiet, Kili said, "I got carried away. I allowed myself to be compromised, just as Bo said. I only wanted Bilbo to be happy."  
More tears rolled down his face.  
"Durin's beard, Kili, how was letting Thorin into your relationship supposed to make Bilbo happy?" Bofur asked, incredulously.  
"I-I don't know. It made sense at the time," Kili blubbered.

"This is doing nothing to help the situation. Bilbo is awake?" Gandalf asked Kili, who was now turned in his chair and sobbing into Fili's stomach.  
Kili nodded.  
"While Bofur is protecting Bilbo's interests out here, I am going to go in and check on him. Perhaps I will give him some help sleeping through the night. I suggest the rest of you find some place else to spend the evening. Fili, take your brother to get some food and something to calm his nerves."

The dwarrows watched Gandalf disappear down the hall.


	15. When I'm Alone At Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gandalf knew there would be no rational discussions for Bilbo tonight, so he simply held Bilbo while he cried. He figured Bilbo would run out of steam, but instead the hobbit sobbed so hard that he gave himself the hiccups and still showed no signs of slowing.
> 
> "Would you like me to do something to calm you for the night? Something to let you sleep through some of this grief?"  
> "Please," Bilbo said.  
> 

  
Bilbo had regretted his words a soon as he saw Kili reach for his bag, but his bitterness moved his tongue to speak harshly. Why did he tell him to take off his ring? Perhaps in part to see if Kili would? Sending Kili away was the last thing Bilbo wanted, but he could not endure the couple of Kili and Thorin being in the Shire one moment longer. If they _were_ a couple. Kili seemed determined to convince Bilbo otherwise, but Bilbo watched Kili pull Thorin's face down and slip his tongue in his mouth. He heard Kili complain he did not get to finish. How could he have misunderstood that?

Bilbo acted as though he didn't want Kili's love, though he still wanted it desperately. He told Kili to do the opposite of what he wanted him to do. It was pure, childish petulance, Bilbo realized. He lashed out at Kili instead of speaking to him, seeking to wound him and hitting his mark quite effectively. Now that it was over, Bilbo felt as though he took the far larger blow. What was he gaining, sending Kili away? He berated himself for his foolishness and his pride upon waking. The hurts were too fresh when he woke and saw Kili there. Now that he'd had a few moments to himself to work out his mind, he could not believe he had been so cruel. Kili's face crumpling into tears was haunting him more than the kiss Kili gave Thorin. If only he had woken up alone! 

He shifted to sit up in bed and everything seemed to hurt. Once his adrenaline rush had subsided, his body ached. His chest hurt when he took deep breaths and somehow he had managed to wrench his back. As he sat, thought, and wept, though, none of his body pained him as much as his heart. He and Kili had such a beautiful relationship and they both wrecked it in the span of a day. He wanted to tell Kili he didn't mean what he said, that he was speaking out of hurt, and plead for his forgiveness. Maybe it would not be too late to beg him not to go to Thorin. Begging him to not go to Thorin would be an imitation of the king, though. Bilbo had not enjoyed Thorin's raw, emotional pleas of the past, especially when he knew the answer was no. He wouldn't do that to Kili. He did not want to be remembered that way. 

Bilbo heard raised voices but could not make out what they said. The loudest sounded like Bofur. A new wave of sorrow washed over him, shaking his body. He cried for what Kili did with Thorin and the horrible things he said to Kili. He cried for the loss of Fili and his dear Bofur, who would doubtless accompany Kili when he left. He cried for the old life he did not wish to revisit and the future he would no longer have. He knew Thorin had been grasping at straws, trying to find some way to be a part of things, so he cried for Thorin's sadness--and wept some angry tears at Thorin's audacity. Why did Kili have to encourage Thorin? To want him? To even _consider_ creating a full bond with him? Those last thoughts made Bilbo bawl the hardest. Kili and Thorin bonding with each other was a tormenting nightmare he had not known he had until that morning. He couldn't help but feel betrayed.

Worst of the whole lot, no matter how angry he tried to be with Kili and Thorin, Bilbo was the most upset with himself. 

*****

Bilbo was weeping softly, sitting up with his knees pulled to his chest when Gandalf entered the room. The hobbit looked up.

"I heard shouting," Bilbo sniffled.  
Gandalf nodded. "There's been a...disagreement. Best not to trouble yourself over it at the moment. How do you feel?"  
Bilbo's bottom lip quivered. "I've made a mess of everything. I've done things I shouldn't, I've said terrible things I don't mean, I've ruined my life, and I nearly succeeded in taking it."  
Gandalf sat next to him on the bed. "Things have gotten complicated, but after all the circumstances and foes you've fought to survive, for you to have even considered giving up on your life was unthinkable. If one is alive today, then one has the chance for things to get better tomorrow."  
"It just hurt so bad, Gandalf. I needed it to stop. I couldn't go on like that," Bilbo said.  
"Your mother and father would be shocked that you grew up to be so selfish."  
Bilbo was aghast. "Selfish?"  
"You said that I caused all this trouble, pulling you out of your door. I will not deny that I am complicit to a point, but I would like to tell you what else leaving your home got you: Friends and family, a new family that cares for you very much. I've seen Bofur and Fili look less frightened during warg attacks than they did when we thought you might not wake. And what of Ori? Oin? Bifur? Bombur? What of your cousin, Isumbras? Your other relations? Your friends? You are far from alone, Bilbo. It would be selfish for you to leave everyone behind in such a ghastly manner. Thorin and Kili would have never forgiven themselves! I don't think I've ever seen a dwarf cry as much as Kili has--and that is with you still alive! It would have torn Fili and Kili apart, too, for Fili would have blamed him and Thorin for it. So many people would have been devastated if you were successful. Not the least of whom is me."  
Bilbo sniffed. "You?"  
"My dear fellow, I care for you deeply. This world is better with you in it for so many of us. Might I have your word that you will not be that foolish again?"  
"I will not try to end my life again, although I already am starting to feel dead inside. What am I going to do without Kili? I've said terrible things and sent him away!" 

Bilbo began to weep again. Gandalf put a comforting arm around him.

"Perhaps it is not all yet lost."  
"The wedding is off. I don't know how much more lost it could be," Bilbo sobbed.

Gandalf knew there would be no rational discussions for Bilbo tonight, so he simply held Bilbo while he cried. He figured Bilbo would run out of steam, but instead the hobbit sobbed so hard that he gave himself the hiccups and still showed no signs of slowing.

"Would you like me to do something to calm you for the night? Something to let you sleep through some of this grief?"  
"Please," Bilbo said.  
Gandalf stood and encouraged Bilbo to lay back. As he tucked him in, he said, "This will calm your mind so that you can sleep deeply. Your dreams will seem alarmingly real and you may feel a bit odd at times throughout the night, but you should feel better in the morning."  
Bilbo bit his lip and nodded.  
Gandalf dropped a rare kiss to Bilbo's forehead. "I am very glad you are still with us, Bilbo."

The wizard touched Bilbo's head with his fingertips and whispered some words Bilbo did not recognize. Bilbo's eyes fluttered shut. Gandalf whispered a few more phrases, blew out the candle, and left Bilbo to his rest.

*****

Gandalf emerged from Bilbo's room. Thorin alone sat at the table.

"I've sedated Bilbo for the night," Gandalf said. "Where are the others?"  
"They've gone to the Green Dragon for food and some spirits to console Kili."  
"I daresay that is not a bad idea. What about you?"  
"I am going to stay in case Bilbo wakes up."  
"He won't," Gandalf said firmly.  
"I do not think I will be welcome for dinner and wine at the tavern," Thorin countered.  
"Then you should find somewhere else to be," Gandalf said with finality. "You are not to stay here and cause further trouble."  
Thorin glared but knew better than to press Gandalf on this matter, not with Bilbo at its center.  
He stood and nodded ceremoniously. "Very well."

Gandalf walked with him to the door and watched Thorin go out into the night. He kept an eye on him until he was out of sight and remained sentinel at Bilbo's door until Ori fetched him for dinner.

*****

Thorin was not pleased that he was escorted out of Bilbo's house, nor that Gandalf stood watch to make sure he stayed gone. He had as much right to Bilbo as the wizard did. More, in fact. He might be delayed but he would not be deterred.

He brooded and sulked as he walked. Of all the times he had tried to intercede in Bilbo's relationship, to usurp Kili, the one time he did not want to split them apart was the time he succeeded. He couldn't even be happy about it, because it had gone horribly wrong. It was not his intent to take home Kili as the incestuous Prince Consort with no Bilbo. 

He was also extremely worried. Bilbo almost killed himself and Thorin did not know why. Gandalf saw fit to put magic him into unconsciousness twice--not a particularly promising sign that Bilbo's demeanor was calm. Thorin knew he was part of it--Bilbo had gotten the wrong enough idea from what Thorin said to Kili to think Thorin wanted the prince for himself--but he didn't know what was said between the two. Did Kili _tell_ Bilbo he had a secret yearning for Thorin? 

Hungry but not in the mood for people, Thorin planned to purchase a meal and take it to his room at the inn.

*****

Fili, Bofur, Kili, and Bifur were ensconced in a corner of the Green Dragon. Bifur found them a table and the friends crowded close to Kili so not too much would be noticed of his mood. Fili thought it was a good thing, too, because Kili had not yet gone five minutes without weeping since they left Bag End. If he and Bilbo managed to fix this mess, they couldn't have the hobbits gossiping about the night Kili Baggins blubbered through his dinner. He hoped desperately for Kili's sake that he could still _be_ Kili Baggins at some point.

Kili was interested in his beer but not so much the food. Fili had just cajoled him into eating a few bites of a meat pie when he caught sight of Thorin waiting at the bar. He watched him for a few minutes to see if they would be noticed, but Thorin was keeping his head down and trying to be as inconspicuous as a dwarf could be in a hobbit pub. Lucky for all of them this night, the last week had mostly desensitized the patrons of the Green Dragon to the presence of dwarrows. Thorin was handed what Fili presumed was his dinner and he left. Fili leaned into Bofur.

He whispered, "I've just seen Thorin and I am going to have a talk with him. Please take care of our brother while I'm gone. See if you can get him to have a little more pie, but don't let him drink much more."  
"I'll take good care of him," Bofur said.  
Fili smiled gratefully. "I know you will"  
A little louder, he said, "Kee, I'll be back. Bo and Bifur are going to stay with you though, okay?"  
Kili nodded.

Bofur managed to talk Kili into a little more pie and a bun, being mindful of his own mood and tone. He was still angry with Kili, but Fili cherished Kili above all else and he trusted Bofur enough to watch over him in his absence. He would not let Fili down by letting his current feelings get in the way. Kili, if he had not simply mistaken Bofur's duty for kindness, was at least grateful for the reprieve in Bofur's ire.

*****

Fili caught up with Thorin in the hallway to his room. Thorin looked surprised to see him but he did not try to avoid him. He held his door open for Fili with resignation and closed it behind them both.

Thorin sighed and set down his meal. "I doubt there is much left to say that your suitor did not say to me already."  
Fili crossed his arms. "In that case, why don't you say things to me instead. Start from yesterday when you were moaning in BIlbo's room."  
Horror spread across Thorin's face.  
"I heard you. All _three_ of you," Fili said. He left out the part where he saw.  
Thorin's reply was sharp. "Fili, my bedroom pursuits are not your business."  
"But they are Kili's? I do not think so. Were you invited?" Fili asked tightly, still feeling the sting of jealousy.  
"Yes and no."  
"Meaning?"  
"Meaning I'm not going into this with you."  
Fili tried another line of questioning. "What happened this morning?"  
"I...made a proposal that Bilbo found unreasonable."  
"Simply unreasonable? He tried to kill himself."  
Thorin replied, "I do not know how it got that far. Whatever set that off happened after he threw me out."  
"What made him throw you out?"

Thorin did not answer.

"Would I be better off asking Kili?" Fili asked. 

Thorin realized he needed to tell at least his part, lest things get more out of hand--were such things possible.

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I thought after yesterday, maybe I had been looking at things the wrong way. Maybe instead of fighting Kili as an adversary, we could be allies. I proposed the idea to Kili that the three of us could be bonded and be together."

Fili's jaw tightened. It horrified him to think Thorin would have bonded with his own nephew just to get to Bilbo.

He said, "So Bofur was right, then. You were trying to coax Kili into bed for the love of Bilbo. Bilbo is fairly level-headed, or at the very least, used to your odd ideas by now. What made him shout? Throw you out?"

Thorin was going to have to confess and he hated it. It sounded so shameful in light of what had transpired. 

"When the three of us were alone, I kissed Kili. I-I _touched_ him, if you follow me. I explained to him the benefits of our sharing Bilbo and all the pleasure we might find." Thorin looked up to see a look of shock on Fili's face. He quickly defended his actions, "Kili did not stop me. He pulled me into kisses of his own and pushed into my touch. I did not force him."  
"You kissed him? _Caressed_ him?" It was all much clearer now, and Fili felt an inexplicable, burning fury at the thought of Thorin's hands on Kili. "No one is to touch Kili but Bilbo! Touching Kili is completely against the rules, Thorin!" he shouted. 

Fili was so offended Thorin violated the rules after being granted the privilege of their bed, he forgot that Thorin did not know there _were_ rules in Kili and Bilbo's bedroom for additional lovers. 

"'Against the rules?' I had not realized...tell me, Fili, how do _you_ know about these _rules_?"

Fili's guilty look combined with Bofur's rage slotted together in Thorin's mind. 

"Well, well...no wonder Bofur was angrier than Smaug. Bilbo's bed is frequently visited, it seems. Were you upset you were not invited?"

Thorin's taunt hit a little too close to home for Fili.  
"Neither Bilbo nor Kili have touched either of us sexually," he said through gritted teeth. "And this is not about us. It is about you, apparently seducing and requesting to fuck your own nephew and heir because you cannot accept Bilbo's loss. You know what bonding means, what it does! You would do that with Kili just to keep Bilbo? Did it not occur to you Bilbo might not _want_ you penetrating his lover? Have you no scruples at all? Is this whom Erebor has for her leader?"  
"Do not lecture me about scruples when it seems your own morality is somewhat hazy," Thorin snapped. "Your words are carefully chosen to deny having Bilbo and Kili as your lovers, but somehow you know more about their bedroom dictates than I do. Perhaps your problem with my proposed incest has to do with your guilty conscience? Know I would not take Kili as a lover solely for Bilbo's sake, although I have a desire that was unknown to me before yesterday and an affection for him longstanding. It would not be something I would choose to do without Bilbo, but it would be far from unpleasant. As far as keeping Bilbo, I've learned there is very little I would not do for the chance to merely share his bed on occasion."  
"Do you even hear yourself talking right now? It is like I do not know you at all! I don't think you've shaken the dragon sickness. You've simply substituted Bilbo as your obsession. He's not a thing subject to your whims! He's a person, with thoughts and needs and desires!"  
"And he desires _me_!" Thorin countered. "He always desires me, Fili. Is it a coincidence that every time I've seen him during the dissolution of our union that he winds up in my arms, sharing my kisses? Is it a coincidence that all it took was the assent of his lover for me to be welcomed back into his body? Bilbo _wants_ me. Even Kili has stopped fighting it. What is your problem?"  
Replied Fili, "Kili has stopped fighting it because he is blind and stupid in love with Bilbo. He wants to give him everything he's ever imagined--every moment, every experience, every fantasy. Bilbo wants you with his body, with the bond. It will never go away. But what of his heart? Of his mind?"  
"Are you suggesting I do not love him?"  
"I think in thought, you absolutely do, but in practice, no."  
"What?" Thorin interjected.  
"No, Thorin, you don't. Let's ponder for a moment what would happen if Bilbo gave you his heart again. Would you care for it? Nourish it? Let him be where his comfort is high and he flourishes? Or were you planning to haul him back across Middle Earth to Erebor even though he dislikes travel and is uncomfortable in the mountain, far from his home?"

Thorin attempted to stammer an answer but Fili continued speaking. 

"Once you have Bilbo's heart and body, could you love his mind? His interest in elves, for example. Would you approve of his continuing education in Sindarin? His wish to revisit Rivendell? Would you accompany him and dangle your feet in the pools next to the waterfalls? Take breakfast with Lord Elrond? Sing their songs? The sour look on your face says no, but Kili did. Kili left Erebor and traveled a great distance with him because he knew Bilbo wanted to be in the Shire again. He stayed several days in Rivendell, eating, singing, and dancing with the elves. He moved into Bag End and has thrown himself into learning about hobbit culture so he reflects well on Bilbo amongst Bilbo's neighbors and kin. He even let Bilbo's insane, desperate ex-lover into bed with them because he did not want Bilbo to pine. Look at what Kili's done for Bilbo--for his heart, for his mind, and for his body--and tell me you'd be the better choice of mate. Look me in the eyes and tell me you believe it with anything other than your blind, selfish passion."

"I know that," Thorin said quietly. "I had made my peace with that, that Bilbo and I would never be a pair again. I was hoping we could be three because I could not compete with the love they had between them."  
"And instead, you ruined it."  
Thorin protested, "It was not only me! I will admit to my part in the fiasco but I don't know what made him decide to run out in a rage, I swear I don't. I've put together bits and pieces since then, and the closest I can figure is that Kili must have told Bilbo he wanted to be with me."  
"Instead of Bilbo?" Fili scoffed. "Use your mind!"  
"What else am I to think?"  
Fili paced. "Something must have happened for Bilbo to have decided it himself, somehow. I can't get much out of Kee that makes sense right now, but he keeps saying there was a misunderstanding and he did not know what went wrong."  
"I did not mean for this to happen," Thorin said.  
Fili glared at him from under his eyebrows.  
"Well, not this time. For once. Honestly!" Thorin replied defensively. "I thought after yesterday, I had a chance at maybe not losing Bilbo forever without making him choose. If it were Bofur, tell me you wouldn't try for another chance?"  
Fili was not taking the bait. Instead he brought the subject back to the beginning. "What about yesterday? How did you wind up in their bed in the first place?"  
Thorin leveled his gaze at Fili. "For that, I think you _would_ be better off asking Kili. I will say no more."

Fili held Thorin's eyes for a moment, deciding he had all the answers Thorin would share tonight. 

"I should get back to him," Fili said.  
"How long do you suppose you will be furious with me this time?" Thorin asked seriously.  
Fili answered honestly, "I don't know. I suppose I'll find out when I get the rest of this story."  
"For what it is worth, I'm sorry. Please...watch over your brother?" Thorin requested.  
The softness and concern in Thorin's voice nearly made Fili forgive him. "That is what I do," he replied. 

When Fili moved to leave, Thorin called after him. 

"You are wrong, by the way," Thorin said quietly. "I would grant Bilbo his beloved Shire. I would acquiesce to the elves. I would either give him the mountain or give up my crown."  
"Then why did you not do that back when you had the chance?" Fili asked.  
"I was foolish once, but I know too much to be that foolish again," Thorin replied. "He already owns my heart, soul, and body, anyway. The rest would merely be small concessions by comparison." 

*****

After dinner, Fili, Kili, and Bofur returned to Bag End. Fili and Bofur lit a fire in the parlour while Kili tiptoed down the hall to check on Bilbo. Gazing at his hobbit sleeping as he had so many nights before, Kili was overcome with his grief again. He could scarcely believe he might never be welcome in that bed again. He gripped his bag with one hand and covered his mouth with the other so his crying would not wake Bilbo. He left Bilbo's room but left the door wide and open in case Bilbo stirred and needed something before the household went to sleep.

*****

Fili explained his plan for Kili to sleep in their bed to Bofur.

"Kee shouldn't sleep alone tonight and Gandalf and Bilbo have both warned him off his own bed while Bilbo is," at Fili's hesitation, Kili started weeping anew, " _unwell_."

Bofur thought it was terribly unfair that Kili would be the one cradled to sleep tonight while Bilbo was by himself. He thought for a moment he might sleep in Bilbo's room.

"I'll sleep in another room then," Bofur said, moving toward the door. "Bilbo probably should not be alone, either."

"No, Bo, please. Please don't go," Kili pleaded tearfully.  
"He is in a magic-induced sleep, Bo," Fili said. "He won't know he is alone. Kee will."

Bofur hesitated. He was furious with Kili but he still cared for him. Kili was obviously hurting from all of this as well. Fili looked at him with pleading eyes. Bofur sighed. He did not have enough strength left after his day to argue against them both. He climbed into bed on the non-Kili side of Fili and Fili held his brother. Bofur stroked Fili's hair as the blond whispered soothing words in Kili's ear. One of his last thoughts before exhaustion shut his body down was that Bilbo did not have anyone to stroke _his_ hair tonight and how sad that was.

*****

Bofur stirred from sleep. He heard Fili's deep breaths and Kili's light snore. Their candle had been long since snuffed and he could not see anything in the windowless dark, but Fili only seemed to be leaning against him, not holding him. No doubt he fell asleep cradling his brother. Bofur slowly extracted himself from the bed, pausing at the door to listen if the other dwarves had been disturbed. Fili's breathing changed as he shifted to accommodate for the lack of Bofur at his back, but deepened again nearly immediately.

Bofur crept into Bilbo's room, thankful for the window and the moon to light his way. Bofur sat on the bed next to Bilbo, not fearing too much to disturb him while he slept under Gandalf's aid. He took Bilbo's hand and stroked it with the gentlest of touches. He needed to feel the warmth of Bilbo's blood and a living pulse not far from his fingertips. The past two days had been hard on Bofur with today only being somewhat worse than the day before.

Bofur had been gutted when he realized all of Bilbo and Kili's talk about Bilbo not wanting anyone to touch Kili--to touch _him_ \--were lies meant to keep Bofur and Fili at bay. The images of Thorin and Kili taking Bilbo so fiercely and the memory of Bilbo's indescribable wails (in between pleading for more) were still horribly burned in Bofur's mind. He had tried to erase it--going as far as replacing the players with Bofur under Bilbo, Kili above him, and Fili doing any number of the things he had described to Bofur-- but it didn't work. Bofur's hurt feelings and sheer fear of losing Bilbo from this world were developing more into the anger he was feeling toward Kili.

"It should have been us, Bee," Bofur murmured. "It should have been _me_. If you and Kili were so keen to share your bond...how could you choose _him_?"  
Bilbo moved his head. "Bo?"  
Bofur sucked in a breath, believing he had woken Bilbo.  
"Bo," Bilbo sighed again, this time as a confirmation and a sweet smile on his face.  
"How do you feel?" Bofur whispered.

Bilbo didn't answer him. Bofur realized Bilbo was talking in his spell-sleep, his unconscious mind likely recognizing Bofur's voice and triggering a response. He tried to fight the warm feeling he got from the hobbit being this happy he was there, but angry or not, this was _Bilbo_. There was only so much irritation Bofur could hold onto while he sat alone with Bilbo in the peaceful dark.

"I'm here," Bofur whispered.

The hand in his tightened and Bilbo hummed contentedly.

Bofur released Bilbo's hand and stretched out next to him on top of the blanket, pressing along the side of Bilbo's body. He breathed Bilbo in deep at the neck and exhaled slowly. Bofur placed the palm of his hand over Bilbo's chest, feeling the rhythm of its rise and fall. Tears pricked his eyes. With the events of yesterday, something that had never begun felt as though it was ending--a beautiful, fond dream dissolving away.

Bilbo, still sleeping, put his hand over Bofur's.  
"Bo...kiss me."  
Bofur's heart thumped at the request even as a tear slipped out of Bofur's eye and rolled toward the pillow. "I-I can't," he whispered brokenly. "You're not awake to even know what you are asking...and, and you chose _him_ , Bilbo."

Two more drops overflowed and it dawned on Bofur how close he was to fully weeping. He sat up.

"Bo? Don't leave, please?"

It was so coincidental, Bofur had to really look at Bilbo to make sure he truly was sleeping. He stroked Bilbo's forehead and hair.

"I'm sorry, but I have to," Bofur managed to say.

He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Bilbo's cheek, a droplet falling from his eye and splashing on the hobbit's face. Bofur tenderly wiped it away with a knuckle.

Bilbo mumbled something unintelligible except for Bofur's name.

It took every drop of will Bofur had within, but he left Bilbo alone in his room once more. He ducked into the space he shared with Fili, sliding down the wall to sit on the floor. He cried hard until a soothing arm draped around him.

"Shhh, my brave hero," Fili whispered. "Come back to bed."  
Bofur shook his head.  
Fili whispered again, "I'm sorry. Today was horrifying for you, too, and here I've been giving Kee all my attention. Come, it is your turn to be held and comforted."  
"Bilbo..." Bofur started.  
"Shhh, I know. Into bed with you before you wake Kee and he gets your cuddles," Fili teased lovingly.

Without disturbing Kili, Fili and Bofur returned to bed. Fili held Bofur tenderly until his tears dried and they both dropped back to sleep.

*****

Thorin sneaked back into Bag End in the middle of the night. It wasn't difficult, as most hobbits did not lock their doors with frequency. In any case, he knew no one would have thought to latch the door to Bag End tonight, not with so many larger things on their minds.

Bilbo was not alone in his room, it seemed. From what Thorin could see from the hall, a dwarf sat at his bedside. He could not hear what was being said, but he recognized the murmurs eventually as belonging to Bofur. Thorin bitterly wondered if Fili knew where his lover was. Thorin sneaked to just out of sight at the end of the corridor, nearly giving himself up for caught when he peeked back and saw Bofur leaving Bilbo's room. Bofur did not dart down the hall in Thorin's direction, though, and he seemed too preoccupied to notice Thorin's lurking. Thorin crept toward Bilbo's room, eyes sweeping to the side to see if Bofur lingered within view. He had not, so Thorin walked into Bilbo's room, closed the door, and quietly latched it.

"Bo? Don't leave me here alone. Come back and kiss me," Bilbo pleaded.

Remembering Fili's suspicious non-confession, Thorin scowled. 

"Durin's mercy, how many lovers do you _have_?" he asked, exasperated.

Bilbo offered no reply. Thorin leaned over and studied him. Bilbo's brow was furrowed in confusion but he seemed sound asleep. Thorin put a hand on his stomach and gently shook him. "Bilbo?"

Bilbo did not open his eyes.

*****

Bilbo was having trouble differentiating between dream and reality. It had been daytime and he was standing bare-arsed in his garden calling frantically for Yavanna...as though he hadn't made enough of a spectacle of himself for his neighbors that day! The sun felt prickly hot on his skin and his throat scratched from calling out so many times. He also felt hollow, a dull throb reverberating inside his abdomen. He opened his mouth to call out again and, somehow, he was in his clothes room rather suddenly, not quite remembering how he got there. Looking down, he was dressed for the Lake Town farewell party. Those clothes were long gone, though. So...dream, then. He ran through Bag End looking for Kili, but the dwarf was nowhere to be found. Bilbo's home bore no trace of Kili's presence: no sword, no bow, no elvish cups, not even his boots. He thought he was going to begin weeping anew, but he heard Bofur speak. _Comfort,_ that is what he needed. He followed the low thrum of Bofur's voice to the bedroom.

"Bo?"

When Bilbo reached him, Bofur leaned against the foot of the bed. He was clad in his hobbit clothes with his hair loosed. Bilbo thought he looked rather fetching.

Bilbo smiled. "Bo," he sighed sweetly.

Bofur whispered to him. Bilbo couldn't quite make out what he said. Something like "I'm here," maybe?

They were holding hands inexplicably, though Bilbo did not remember crossing the room, but Bilbo set it aside as another peculiarity of the dream. Bofur pulled Bilbo closer, close enough for Bilbo to sense his body heat. Bilbo could smell him as though it were real. Bofur splayed his palm between them across Bilbo's chest. Bilbo was surprised he could actually feel its warmth. Gandalf _did_ say these dreams would be vivid.

Bofur felt good against Bilbo, the kind of good from which Bilbo had been trying too long to run. Well, as long as he was dreaming...

Bilbo reached up to hold Bofur's hand against him. "Bo...kiss me."  
Bofur stepped sideways, moving away from him. His lips were moving but Bilbo didn't hear him.  
Bilbo moved toward him. "Bo? Don't leave, please?"

Bofur stroked Bilbo's forehead and hair. Achingly tender, he kissed Bilbo on the cheek.

"...I have to," was all Bilbo could make out.  
"This is a dream, Bo. It may be the only chance I'll ever have to kiss you."

Bo smiled sadly and backed away. Bilbo watched him go helplessly. Even his dreams seemed determined to break his heart tonight. Bilbo sank to his knees and sobbed.

"Bo? Don't leave me here alone. Come back and kiss me," Bilbo pleaded to the empty air.

He could still feel the dull, hollow ache in his stomach when the daylight of his bedroom turned into the candlelight of a late night.

Bilbo thought he had awakened and had been gazing at the candle burning when the flame turned into a small, fiery dragon. It flew in circles over the bed, buzzing and fizzing, before exploding in a starburst about four hands above his chest. It was just like one of Gandalf's whizpoppers! Once the shimmer before his eyes subsided, he realized it was dark and he was not alone in his bed. Blinking, he looked up into Thorin's eyes.

"Bilbo, oh Bilbo I'm so sorry, sorry for everything. I had no idea it was going to go like this," Thorin said.

Bilbo pulled him down by the neck into a kiss. So far, Yavanna would not see him, Bofur walked away from him, and Kili hadn't even bothered to show up. Bilbo was going to find some solace in his sleep tonight, and--by the Valar!--if it had to be Thorin, so be it.

Thorin fought Bilbo's grip for a moment, but surrendered quite pleasingly shortly thereafter. The kiss felt so real, Bilbo nearly felt guilty.

*****

Thorin was lost in Bilbo's kiss. He had wanted to ask Bilbo what happened, how he felt, and why Gandalf felt the need to aid his rest, but all his questions were dissolving on Bilbo's skilled and wicked tongue. Thorin had expected a much more hateful reaction from him, to be honest. Instead, Bilbo was kissing him with a passionate longing Thorin had not felt since Lake Town. With that realization, Thorin forced himself to stop. Something wasn't right.

"We shouldn't," Thorin said.  
Bilbo replied, "Make me forget, Thorin. Take this pain away."

Thorin closed his eyes in resignation. So that was it--he was to be a distraction for Bilbo, a balm to soothe the hurt Kili left behind. That wasn't what Thorin wanted. A hand tunneled under his waistband, searching for his cock. _Then again..._

Thorin felt Bilbo's other hand tug him into another kiss while the one down his trousers found its prize. Thorin thought this might be his last best chance at...what, exactly? Love? Sex? Devotion? Redemption? Truly, he didn't rightly know. What he _did_ know was that Bilbo was stroking him to near-madness and sucking his tongue as though it were coated in honey. And did he not once promise Bilbo to be his whenever he chose to claim him, however temporary?

Thorin threw himself into the kiss with a renewed fervor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I appreciate you all so much :D Thank you!
> 
> Title came from Great White--  
> http://youtu.be/lGPNQsLSBNQ
> 
> I was having a deep 80's hair band moment tonight.


	16. The Only Truth I Know Is You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin reached out to brush Kili's fringe from his face and bent to press a feather-light kiss to Kili's forehead. 
> 
> "I'm sorry I'm so fucked up," he whispered.
> 
> Kili's eyes fluttered open. He squinted sleepily.  
> "Thor'n?" he slurred.  
> "Shhh, you're dreaming," Thorin said.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two things to note--
> 
> 1) Billbo is awake. Thorin sees he is awake. Bilbo does not realize this, and I've added a dubcon tag to reflect it, but Thorin has no clue Bilbo thinks he is sleeping. 
> 
> 2) I would like to remind some of you again that Chapter 100 of "Wait..." is the happy, fluffy ending without the extended angst, threesomes, and questionable life decisions on behalf of these dwarrows and their hobbit. I've posted several warnings so the events of "Chains" would not ruin the main story for anyone. It is more warning than most tv shows give you, so you have no one to blame but yourselves :D 
> 
> To my angst & smut hounds--you're as fucked up as I am and I love you for it <3

Kili woke in the unexpected dark of Fili's room. He had grown accustomed to the window in the room he had shared with Bilbo and it took him a moment to remember how he came to be in a different bed. He felt Fili at his back and could tell his companions were rather deeply asleep. Bofur was wheezing softly, as though he had fallen asleep after a hard cry. Kili winced at the thought, realizing it was likely. He crept out of bed and down the hall. Bilbo's door was closed. Pausing only for a moment, Kili did not try to open it. Bilbo had been adamant about not wanting Kili near, after all. His hand wrapped around his bag and he held it as he walked through the house and out the door. The stone path beneath Kili's bare feet held some of the chill from the autumn night.

Kili padded into the grass and around the back of Bag End, pausing at Bilbo's shrine to Yavanna. He knelt and lightly ran his fingers across it. Removing Bilbo's ring from his bag, he held it in the hand on which he wore his own. He had refused to take it off, regardless of Bilbo's request. He took a breath, closed his eyes, and whispered prayers to anyone whom he could remember in the moment. He murmured one especially to Mahal in Khuzdul. He stayed there, beseeching all who might hear his call in the cool, quiet of night until the chill seeped into his bones. Lovingly tucking away Bilbo's ring, Kili rose to go back in the house. He glanced down at the empty plate. Bilbo had not brought anything out for a couple days and anything that had been there had been carried off by the local wildlife already.

Kili spied a trowel left behind in one of Hamfast's buckets against the house. Again lowering himself to the ground, he moved Bilbo's shrine and dug a hole under it. He shook his bag over his hand until a small nugget of leftover mithril tumbled out. He held it for a moment before kissing it and dropping it into the hole.

Before filling the hole back in, he murmured, "Immense prayers call for meaningful offerings."

Once finished, Kili moved the shrine back, stood, and shook off the dirt. Quietly returning to the house, Kili turned Bilbo's armchair toward the last fading embers of the evening's fire. He curled up in the chair with Bilbo's favorite throw blanket. Comforted by its scent and the warming of his body, Kili soon fell fast asleep.

 

*****

Thorin rucked up Bilbo's nightshirt, noting rather happily he was fully bare underneath.

"Yes," Bilbo sighed beneath him. "I've always loved your hands on me."

Thorin's fingers obliged as if they had will of their own. Bilbo's hands were busy as well, attempting to divest Thorin of his clothes. Thorin paused to pull off his tunic and Bilbo's nightshirt. Bilbo already had Thorin's trousers down past his arse. Thorin struggled to understand how Bilbo could go from shoving Thorin to the ground and nearly dying for the love of Kili to holding their cocks together, but their passion swept them along more quickly than Thorin could think.

Bilbo was making noises of frustration trying to get Thorin's trousers down past the length of his reach. Shouldn't trousers just disappear in sex dreams? He felt Thorin's tongue trace the shell of his ear.

"What do you want, _burglar_?" Thorin murmured.

Bilbo felt a delicious shiver race down his spine. It was rare that Thorin reverted to the nickname in bed, but it drove Bilbo wild when he did.

"Your mouth on me in the dirtiest places," Bilbo replied, shameless.

Thorin rolled them so he was on his back. Bilbo was finally able to remove the offending trousers. With a lascivious wink, he inverted himself on Thorin. Clutching and spreading Bilbo, Thorin laved Bilbo's pucker until the hobbit squeaked.

Thorin cautioned, "Shhh, you'll wake the house."  
"Best muzzle myself, then," Bilbo retorted, leaning forward to take Thorin's cock in his mouth.

They engaged in an obscene battle as Thorin pulled Bilbo back to his mouth and Bilbo struggled forward to wrap his lips around Thorin's erection. Bilbo slowed his efforts when Thorin licked him open enough to slip two fingers inside him. Bilbo exhaled a stuttering breath with Thorin's name at the end. Lips and hands were not enough to ease Bilbo's hollow ache, though. He righted himself on Thorin and clasped one of his hands.

"Do you love me?" Bilbo asked.  
"You know I do."  
"Do you want me?"  
"Practically from the moment I saw you," Thorin said.  
Bilbo giggled. "Liar. You could barely stand the sight of me."  
"It is true, I was irritated with Gandalf for poking his nose in my business. Moreover, I knew you were trouble straight away and I was furious how much I had already wanted to keep you safe from the harm that was going to be inevitable. I wasn't exactly nice about it, I know, but I swear in spite of all that, I wanted you. Long before I could bring myself to address you by your name, I was spilling in my hand with the thought of you." Thorin flipped Bilbo on his back. "And I haven't stopped since," he said low but flirtatiously.

Bilbo could scarcely believe how _real_ this seemed. He felt Thorin's muscles and his heat, smelled his skin, and felt the pleasure of all the things Thorin was doing to him. He hazily thought this must really be happening. But how? How did Thorin get in when the house was full--and why would he? He had Kili, and they were...no, he couldn't think about it, not now. He willed down his tears and gave himself to this moment, real or imagined.

"Please," Bilbo whispered.  
Thorin's breath hitched. "Please what, my love?" he asked in anticipation.  
"You know what," Bilbo insisted.  
Trembling slightly, Thorin said, "Tell me, I beg of you."  
"I want to feel you--all of you. Take me, Thorin. Show me you want me, make me feel how you love me."

Thorin claimed Bilbo's mouth, kissing him deeply. Bilbo had nearly died, ended a relationship, and had more or less told Thorin he hated him less than a day ago and now he was beneath him, pleading for the closest of connections. It did not add up to anything that made sense, but Thorin had been starved for Bilbo for so many long, terrible months. He had not the will to turn down such requests. Bilbo's body had been through a shock, but Thorin trusted Bilbo would not ask for anything beyond his limits. Merely remembering how Bilbo was almost lost to him was enough to carry him through slicking himself and pushing in to his hilt. Feeling Bilbo alive and wrapped around him brought tears to his eyes.

"Must you always cry when you make love with me?" Bilbo teased.

Thorin pressed his lips together in a tight smile meant to keep himself from weeping outright.

Bilbo had rarely had a sex dream this real. In fact, only two came to mind and one was fueled by Lover's Wine. He could feel Thorin split him wide with each thrust, making him moan.

Thorin cupped a hand over Bilbo's mouth. "Quiet, love. I don't wish to explain how this came to be considering I barely understand it myself."  
"I'll be quiet, just don't stop fucking me," Bilbo whispered.  
Thorin fought a moan of his own. "You're wicked."

Thorin tipped Bilbo's legs back further, bracing himself with his knees and grabbing Bilbo's bottom for a more steady stroke. Bilbo bit into Thorin's arm to fight the sounds trying to escape.

"You could always get so deep inside me," he whispered brokenly. "So deep, Thorin."  
"I'm not going to last long with you talking like that,' Thorin warned. "Fuck, I love the way you feel."  
Thorin freed a hand to pump Bilbo's cock, but Bilbo held his wrist and shook his head.  
"I want-" Bilbo faltered as one of Thorin's strokes sent sparks through his body.  
Thorin murmured, "You want? Tell me."  
"In your mouth. Finish me with your mouth," Bilbo managed to say.

Thorin pulled all the way back and lowered himself between Bilbo's legs, He slipped two digits inside Bilbo and sucked his cock in as far as it would go. Bilbo clapped his hands over his mouth. He had meant he wanted Thorin to get off first, but this was rapturous. Thorin worked him over with skill and precision, knowing exactly what he needed to do to get Bilbo there quickly. Bilbo felt a moment of panic during the building pressure that was relentlessly leading toward his orgasm. This was too raw to be imagined. The panic dissipated when the tension broke and Bilbo's orgasm flooded over Thorin's tongue. For several moments, he felt nothing but warm, hypnotic bliss and Thorin's cock impaling him again.

Thorin licked his last swallow of Bilbo's seed into the hobbit's mouth when he slipped back inside him again. It did not take long for the delightful, aching need for completion to return. Thorin's heart did not want this to end, but his body was following a different agenda. He tipped over the edge, holding Bilbo as close as possible while he came inside him.

Bilbo closed his eyes as he felt the bond surge. Thorin was clutching him tightly, both filling and surrounding him. As wonderful as it felt, it was the wrong bond tingling in his fingers and his toes. Had Kili been there, had it not been _over_ , perhaps it would not have struck him as sad. Instead of enjoying what he could feel, it was a glaring reminder of what he no longer had. Bilbo started to cry.

Thorin was still riding the rush of bliss when Bilbo's body jerked beneath him. After a couple more spasms, Thorin released him enough to gaze upon his face. Bilbo was weeping.

Cradling Bilbo's head, Thorin asked, "What is wrong?"  
" _This_ is wrong," Bilbo sobbed. "You're not him. As much as I love you, you're just not him. I've lost him, Thorin. What am I going to do? I've lost him!"

Bilbo buried his face in Thorin's chest and released a muffled (but no less anguished) wail.

Thorin did not know what to do. He was still inside his naked lover while Bilbo cried for the loss of another. "Awkward" did not adequately describe the situation. "Heartbreaking" was closer, Thorin thought. He blamed himself. Bilbo said he would wish Thorin were Kili, but Thorin hadn't believed it. He could have done without the weeping proof in his arms.

Thorin whispered soothing words in Bilbo's ear as the hobbit clung to him and cried. Bilbo blubbered apologies.

"Shhh, shhh, please don't cry. I love you, please don't cry," Thorin said.  
"Gone, gone, he's gone," Bilbo said, choking on his tears.

Thorin shifted, slipping out of Bilbo now that he was soft. He rolled off Bilbo to allow him to breathe easier.

"Don't leave! Don't you leave, too. Don't leave with him Thorin, don't take him from me," Bilbo begged.  
Thorin kissed Bilbo's temple and spoke quietly. "I don't want to take your Kili away. I never wanted to take him away. I wanted to take _you_ away. If I couldn't have you alone, I was going to run off with you both. Anything just to have some small part of you. It was always you, Bilbo."  
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Bilbo apologized, still weeping.  
Thorin cuddled up next to Bilbo and combed his fingers through the hobbit's hair.  
"No, I'm sorry," he conceded, tears spilling down his own face.

Thorin stayed close to Bilbo until the hobbit cried himself to exhaustion. When he was sure Bilbo was sleeping, Thorin carefully extracted himself from the bed and dressed. Barely understanding what had transpired between them, Thorin's mind reeled. He had been experiencing such ecstasy and then his heart was unexpectedly crushed. He had to leave immediately. He glanced back at a sleeping Bilbo, unable to bring himself to kiss him goodbye.

 

*****

A sound similar to a throat clearing startled Thorin as he crept through the house on his way out. He was sure he had been caught. Standing very still, he listened with hunter's ears. The only sound was the quiet rhythm of breathing. He crept forward and was surprised to see Kili balled up in an armchair. He seemed to be sleeping peacefully, a temporary escape from the heartache of his day. Thorin felt guilty for being the cause of so much pain and sorrow, although he admitted to himself the guilt was not enough to want to take back the smell of Bilbo's sex still emanating from his skin. Indeed, the guilt was not even enough to keep Thorin out of their bed if Kili and Bilbo were able to offer it again. The past couple days had forced Thorin to be more honest with himself than he had been in months; he had become only too aware of the near-erasure of his morality where Bilbo was concerned.

Thorin reached out to brush Kili's fringe from his face and bent to press a feather-light kiss to Kili's forehead.

"I'm sorry I'm so fucked up," he whispered.

Kili's eyes fluttered open. He squinted sleepily.  
"Thor'n?" he slurred.  
"Shhh, you're dreaming," Thorin said.  
"Dreamin'?" Kili replied, closing his eyes and pulling the blanket up closer to his chin.  
"Just dreaming, my Kili-colt," Thorin said.

He dropped another kiss to the top of Kili's head and the younger dwarf smiled as he snuggled back into himself. Thorin didn't linger, lest Kili wake up more thoroughly. Quickly, he stole out of the house and quietly closed the door behind him. He leaned against it, pausing a moment to put his head in his hands.

"So fucked up," he repeated to himself.

 

*****

_It was night and Bilbo was in his garden. He was clothed once again, recognizing the outfit as the one he hastily threw together the morning he woke in Bag End alone with nothing but a signed contract and a company of dwarrows yet to join.  Bilbo was about to sit on the ground when a soft voice spoke._

_Yavanna said. "I did warn you that your mate's generous spirit was going to cause trouble."_  
_"Everything is ruined," Bilbo said, running to throw his arms around her legs like a child looking for comfort._  
_"Complicated, perhaps, but not ruined. Your heart knows what it wants."_  
_"It has known since Lake Town," Bilbo said sadly._  
_"Not all lovers are as generous as your mate, and not everyone's fate may lie in the Shire. Understand that sometimes someone has to be sad, my child. Someone may have to be hurt, someone may have to feel a cold bed. There will be longing and pain and that is the way of it. Trying to avoid it only compounds it in the end, particularly for yourself. Will you truly risk what you could have to simply prolong the inevitable?"_  
_"The decision is no longer mine! I've given it away!" Bilbo wailed._  
_"For them, it has always been yours," Yavanna said firmly, but not unkindly._

_Yavanna lowered herself to bended knee to regard Bilbo at eye level. "You have misplaced something incredibly dear to you. Indeed, dear to more than just yourselves. You and your mate share treasures beyond the count of value: Elven-forged rings made of the scarcest dwarven metal, for it is indeed mithril from deep within Erebor. These precious rarities were exchanged to join the hearts of a hobbit and a dwarf. In one way of looking, it is a union between the free peoples of Middle Earth, tying the storied past to the hopeful present."_

_She slipped the ring he no longer possessed back on his finger and covered his hands with her own. "You must learn to take better care of the things that are most cherished by you."_

_It was clear to Bilbo she was not only speaking of the rings. A fat tear rolled down his face and was gently brushed aside by a delicate finger._

_"Your mind may be confused, Bilbo, but your heart knows what needs to be done. You might find it is not too late, after all."_

_She leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips. Bilbo closed his eyes and received it._

 

*****

Heartbroken, mind racing, and unable to sleep, Thorin stole across Hobbiton and crept once again into Bag End. Kili still slept in the armchair. Bilbo was also much as Thorin had left him. Thorin carefully placed a letter on the nightstand. He stood and watched Bilbo sleep for several moments more before dropping a whisper of a kiss to his cheek and sneaking back out into the night.

 

*****

Fili and Bofur woke a little ahead of dawn without Kili in bed with them. Fili hoped Kili had left them to go to Bilbo.

Fili shifted up on his elbow. "How do you feel?" he asked.  
"How d'you mean?"  
Fili kissed his cheek. "However you can answer, I suppose."  
"As far as the body goes, my head is aching from blubbering like a babe last night. Otherwise, I'm feeling sort of numb."  
"Many of the things that have been making us happy seemed to have taken great damage," Fili agreed, sounding sad.  
Bofur sat up and threaded his fingers into the hair at Fili's nape. "But not all of them. I'm upset and hurt and confused by everything happening outside that door but what brings me the most joy is right here, Fee. You're my Chosen and no matter what happens, I love you."  
Fili leaned forward, pressing his lips to Bofur's. "I love you."

Bofur pulled him into another kiss, this one more passionate. Fili's kisses traveled down Bofur's jaw to his neck. He felt the rumble beneath his lips as the other dwarf moaned. Fili pushed Bofur on his back and moved down to unlace the trousers he had worn to bed.

"Yes," Bofur whispered. "I feel like we've not touched each other in a week."

Fili pulled Bofur's trousers down to his thighs and flicked little licks along the skin on Bofur's growing length. Bofur tried to move his legs for more leverage, but Fili had them trapped in his clothes. Fili flattened his tongue and swiped over him in broader swaths. Bofur's breathing grew heavy and he whispered quiet pleas for more, but Fili ignored him. He teasingly wrapped his lips around Bofur's tip and sucked it shallowly in and out before returning to the long, agonizing licks. He repeated the cycle a few times until Bofur was quivering and his begging was blatant. When Fili tasted the tang of Bofur's arousal, he finally took Bofur all the way in his mouth. Legs still bound from his trousers, Bofur still managed to arch up in pleasure. With only a few deep strokes of his length, Bofur spilled down Fili's throat.

Fili barely had time to wipe at the saliva on his chin before Bofur had him close and tight in his arms.

"How are you possible, you fantastic thing?" Bofur breathed.

He nipped at Fili's lips, separating them with his tongue to taste himself in his lover's mouth. Bofur rolled Fili onto his back.

"In what way would you like yours?" he asked.  
"That was just for you," Fili replied. "You've been so upset...I wanted to give you something pleasant to start this day."  
Bofur kissed along Fili's collarbone. "You've been upset, too. Maybe you deserve something pleasant to start your day as well."  
"Not as much as you did."  
Bofur worked at freeing Fili's prick from its fabric prison. "What if I was to say my day could not truly start pleasantly without your come on my tongue?"  
Fili's head fell back against the pillow. "Who would I be to argue?" he sighed.

Not intending to tease as Fili had, Bofur wasted no time engulfing him fully. Fili groaned in bliss.

"Gods, how I love you," Fili proclaimed breathlessly.

 

*****

  
_Kili did not remember waking or walking either one, but he stood in an area entirely unfamiliar to him. He was in clear, open air, with a high wall of glimmering stone to his back. It seemed altogether un-Shirelike. Small glimmers of pink and orange were invading the deep blue of the earliest morning sky to the east. The tallest dwarf he had ever seen sat on a fallen boulder, not far from him. At least, he believed him to be a dwarf. He was easily the size of Beorn or better, broad of frame, with a long torso and short legs. He had a mighty mane of hair and dwarvish ears, but his face reminded Kili more of his and Thorin's than, say, Dori's or Balin's. Kili had a innate suspicion of whom he might be._

_"You have fear and sorrows, Little Brother," the fellow said in a deep, grand voice that matched his stature._

_Upon hearing the voice, all Kili's doubts of his companion's identity faded._

_"The Maker!" he said, incredulous._

_The Vala grinned. "You called me, did you not? Come, unburden your weary heart."_

_He knelt to be more accessible to Kili's height and held out his arms. Kili was in them in an instant, marveling and weeping at the same time._

_Mahal's voice turned gentle as he held the tiny dwarf in his mighty embrace. "Tell me, what has moved you to desperate prayers in the moonlight?"_

_Kili carefully explained the source of his heartache, making every attempt to avoid being vulgar in the presence of the dwarrows' most beloved creator.  Mahal listened thoughtfully.  
_

_"Isn't it quite something, loving someone who is not entirely the same as yourself?" he said. "Your mate is favored by my own. He carries her blessings, as well as her capacity for love and a quiet, simmering temper which boils hot when times call for it. It is that passion that draws us, but you've learned it can burn unkindly as well."_  
_Kili sniffled and nodded._  
_"The offering you made me is as rare as this love you've found with Yavanna's child...I'm sure it was not given lightly. What would you ask of me?"_  
_Kili still wept. "Fix it, please! Blessed Maker, make it all go away!"_  
_"How shall I make it go away? Would you like me to eliminate the pain?"_  
_"Yes!"_  
_"In which way would you best prefer? I can make it so you do not love him, making the things he does no concern of yours. Or perhaps I can make it so you do not know him at all, erasing both the love and the memory so it would never ache again."_  
_"No!" Kili shouted. Mahal raised an eyebrow and Kili turned sheepish over his outburst. "That is to say, I would not want that. I would rather feel the love and have my memories, however painful, than face the loss of them."_  
_"Well, perhaps I could do something to eliminate the offending series of incidents from your memories. You could move forward with your plans as though it never happened."_  
_Kili exhaled in a huff. "Not to appear ungrateful, but that would not do, either. Although they were hard won and bought with pain, Bilbo and I are going to need the lessons this taught us if we are ever to find a way to move forward. As much as I hate it, I also need to remember how badly Bilbo can wound me...and he needs to know it, too."_

_Mahal smiled affectionately at Kili. Kili looked into his eyes as understanding seeped in._

_"I guess you're saying there's nothing you can do?" Kili asked, resigned. "There are no prayers, wishes, or magic that can fix this without consequence, are there?"_  
_Mahal shook his head. "There are things I could do, but they all come at a price you are admirably not willing to pay. You are not choosing the easy ways, which only proves your love all the more. What I think you hoped when you spoke your prayers tonight is beyond my boundaries, for I cannot change his mind. If I could, though, would you truly wish it?"_  
_Kili wiped his eyes. "No, I suppose I wouldn't. I've always told Fee I wanted Bilbo to be with me for no other reason than because he loves me. If you changed his mind, it would not be real."_  
_"Perhaps it is not all as lost as you imagine," Mahal soothed. "He may be as empty, aimless, and yearning as yourself."_  
_"He is the one who told me to go!" Kili protested, fresh tears rising in his eyes._  
_"Maybe he is confused himself. Think about all your trials and joys and search your heart. Do you truly believe he wishes for you to go?"_  
_Kili canted his head in frustration, brow furrowed and eyes toward the ground._  
_"I think it is time for you to sleep now, dear one, and return to normal dreams. Maybe when you wake, your path will be clearer to you."_

_Mahal embraced Kili, the smaller dwarf hugging him back fiercely. Parting, his great thumb smoothed tears from Kili's cheek._

_"Ask yourself what you truly want now that such heartache has come to pass. Once you have the answer, Little Brother, you will know what to do."_

_Kilil's eyes fluttered closed as Mahal pressed his lips to his forehead._

They did not open again until he was done with dreams for the night.

 

*****

Physically satisfied and emotionally fortified, Fili and Bofur emerged from their room. Fili had been too focused on Bofur to worry much about Kili when they first woke, but his concern grew.

Bilbo's door was cracked. Bofur pushed on it slightly, only enough to observe that Bilbo was sleeping and not lifeless in his bed. He leaned back out.

Bofur whispered to Fili, "He's sleeping. Alone."

Fili frowned. Where had Kili gotten off to? Fili did not think Kili would be the type to do anything drastic, but he was not going to relax until he found him.

A quick look through the house located Kili in Bilbo's favorite chair in the parlour. Fili exhaled in relief and opted not to disturb his rest.

"Shall we take our breakfast with Bifur?" he asked Bofur quietly.  
Bofur nodded. "I think I would prefer that. I'm glad Bilbo and Kili are safe, but I do not know what to say to either of them at the moment."

 

*****

When Bilbo opened his eyes again, it was daylight in his room. He looked down at his hand, but no ring was there. He heaved a sad sigh, chiding himself for getting so hopeful over a dream. It was so vivid, though, as had been his Thorin dream. He smiled and stretched. Gods, his Thorin dream! He could swear he still felt him inside. Rolling over to face his nightstand, he saw a letter tied with a curious sort of rope. Plucking it and sitting up, he noticed the rope was not rope at all. It was one of Thorin's braids. Judging from the bead swinging still at its end, it was one of his longest that he wore by his face. He sucked in a breath and barely breathed it out as he read the letter.

 

****

_My Dearest Love,_

_I do not think I would have enough voice or breath left in my body to give you and Kili the apologies you are due even if I should live another 300 years._

_I do not know what I had hoped, or what I thought when I came to you tonight. I sought answers, but I was honored to find you in my arms. I thought perhaps if we had a moment by ourselves to get lost in what it felt like to be us again, maybe? It seems so foolish, now. When you held me and cried for Kili, I knew I had to stop lying to myself. I've been thinking since the battle that because you still carried love for me, that we could be together again. Lately, I thought perhaps you would not be mine alone, but I would not have to lose you completely. You told me once that love wasn't always enough. I never wanted to believe it and so I've been languishing in the drawn-out agony of losing you for months._

_It is time for me to stop denying that we will never be. Writing that sentence was difficult, so difficult I'm trying not to drip and tear-smudge the ink. I shall mourn this loss beyond the end of my days. I meant what I told you. If Bilbo Baggins will not be my consort anywhere other than in my heart, I shall be wedded to Erebor. Make no mistake, though. I am yours. Always yours._

_I think I was willfully blind to what you and Kili had until yesterday in your bed. The two of you were beautiful together. The things the three of us did were beyond any reckoning of mine. Having a chance to touch you again after so long, I was hungry for more. I suppose I thought perhaps if I could be a part of what the two of you had instead of fighting against it, it would solve our problems. Instead, it created more._

_I will not return to Erebor with your Kili, nor would he go anywhere you were not. You misunderstood my intention when I suggested we bond together. I would do anything to be with you, including finding room in my heart for the one you love most. As much as I want you for mine, you will not be happy without Kili, nor he without you. There is no reason for all three of us to be heartbroken._

_I shall endeavor to leave you to live your life of peace together. I do not know what strength I possess to hold to this claim, though I shall do my best. I leave you a mourning braid as a token of my intent to grieve your loss and trouble you no more. I hope it shall keep me honest and its absence reminds of what is right, since I seem to be terrible at remembering such things in or near your presence._

_It would be unwise for me to attempt the trip to Erebor alone, particularly when I would shortly have the safety of our group. I prefer to wait until they leave, but I will make every attempt not to trouble you again. If my proximity is unwelcome or untrusted, I could meet them in Bree. All you need is to tell Bifur such is your wish and I will abide._

_I'm so sorry, Bilbo, for every stupid thing I've ever done in the name of my love._

_Nevertheless, I love you still._

_Thorin_

PS _Before I walk out of your life again, it is important that you know these two things:_

_-My regrets are innumerable, but I would not take back a single instance of your flesh beneath my hands or your lips against mine--not tonight, not yesterday, not in Lake Town, not ever._

_-Had you died, they would have buried us both._

 

****

The letter fit together the weirder aspects of his "dream," cementing Bilbo's suspicions from last night that it had actually been happening. He did not need to touch his backside to know it was still slick with Thorin's seed. He covered his face with his hand. How many more ways was he going to ruin his own life? Could he have picked a worse way to sabotage his own happiness?

"Of course it wasn't a dream, you idiot!" he chastised himself.

Thinking back, he imagined the candle dragon signaled the end of the sleeping spell. It would be just Gandalf's style to have such a detail. Bilbo admonished himself. He believed he was sleeping because he chose to believe it. Making love with Thorin last night may have been pleasant, but it had not helped his emotional wounds. He remembered how he cried in Thorin's arms and cringed for how much it must have pained the king. Bilbo rolled over and flopped on his stomach, grabbing his pillow for comfort. Would he ever cease hurting the people he loved?

Yavanna said it might not be too late for him. Bilbo wasn't sure how or where to start, but he needed to try to set things right as soon as possible. Yavanna's words gave Bilbo some hope, though he did not expect Kili would forgive him easily. Given the night he just spent with Thorin, he'd have every right not to forgive him at all. A part of him thought sure when Gandalf put him out that Kili would be spending last night with Thorin himself. In spite of Thorin's words to the contrary, the thought of Kili and Thorin living together as lovers upset Bilbo again. He needed a bath to soothe his sore body and wash away his most recent sin. He put on his discarded nightshirt, gathered up clothes to wear once he was finished, and headed for the bath.

 

*****

Gandalf encountered Fili and Bofur on his way to Bag End. He asked after the troubled couple.

"They are both sleeping quietly, if separately," Fili replied.  
"Are you sure it is merely sleep?"  
Bofur answered, "Yes. I would not leave Bilbo's door until I knew for sure."  
Gandalf nodded. "Good. Thank you, Bofur. I desire to ask after Bilbo's state of mind and Kili's as well, but they need their rest. I had a mind to assist Bilbo for another several hours sleep once he had a meal and a good dose of water. His body needs fuel and quiet time to recuperate after the terrors of yesterday."  
"You could go wake him," Fili said. "I'll return with you and make him some food if it is important."  
"No, natural rest is good for him as well. I'll look in on him when the morning grows later and see how he feels then."  
"Bilbo isn't in any danger, though, is he? The risk is over?" Bofur asked nervously.  
Gandalf put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I believe he will be fine. Resting and not over-exerting himself were the most important, which is why I aided his sleep last night. His hobbit sensibilities will take over when he wakes and he'll seek out food on his own."  
"And seek out Kili, hopefully," Fili said.  
Bofur asked, "Would that be bad for him? To get upset again?"  
"It is not desirable, no, but it seems inevitable...especially if the two of them cannot come to an understanding," Gandalf replied.  
Said Fili, "I hope it was a good idea, leaving them alone in Bag End together. I thought perhaps after a night's sleep and no one else to distract them, maybe they could straighten some of this mess out."  
"Or make things worse, somehow," Bofur remarked.

Fili frowned and made a mental note to check on Kili before lunch.

 

*****

Kili woke in Bilbo's chair, cramped. Straightening his legs, he stretched out without standing. He relaxed into the chair and exhaled slowly. Kili had thought those evenings on the way back from Ered Luin would be the last nights he would spend apart from Bilbo for a long time. He crossed his arms and pouted to himself. How did this all go so wrong? No, that was yesterday's question. While he still wanted an answer for it, what he was going to do now seemed to be the more pressing concern. He looked around at Bag End--at _home_. Kili had been so happy to be here with Bilbo, feeling truly comfortable and as though he belonged somewhere at long last.

He pondered his...dream? Vision? Visit? Whatever it was, Mahal told him to figure out what he wanted. All Kili had wanted since the night he met Bilbo was everything they had up until a couple days ago. What did he want now? Things escalated so quickly and Bilbo had been so, so cruel. The mere memory of Bilbo's coldness was still shocking enough to leave Kili momentarily breathless whenever he recalled it.

\--And yet

He and Bilbo had _plans_. How many nights did they press against one another and whisper about their lovely future here in the Shire? They had each other, beautiful memories to make, and a beautiful, safe place in which to make them. The want--the need--of that future with Bilbo did not fade with the pain. If anything, the pain and the longing seemed to feed each other. To have it drift beyond his grasp made him realize how much he had desired it.

Bilbo might be trying to send him away but Kili decided he would not go until he could explain his side of things...and tell Bilbo exactly how much he had hurt him.

Kili wasn't going down without a fight.

 

*****

 

Bilbo tiptoed back from his bath. To his shock, Kili was sitting in the chair upon Bilbo's return to the bedroom. Bilbo froze.

Kili stood, took the bundled nightshirt from Bilbo's hands, and set it aside.

"I need you to listen to me," Kili said, taking Bilbo's hands and gesturing for him to sit. "Don't speak. Just listen."

Bilbo took the chair obediently. Kili sat on the edge of the bed.

"I think it is time I am allowed to explain myself. Do not start arguing until I'm done, okay?"  
Bilbo nodded.  
"I don't know what happened. I'm so confused. I thought since we had taken Thorin rather thoroughly to bed, what he did yesterday morning was simply a continuation of it. He was talking about all the crazy things we could do and I thought you would want it."

Bilbo opened his mouth already to protest, but Kili shushed him.

"Let me finish. I did not mind playing, or letting him play with you, but it is not my wish to marry him. I did not long for it when I was young and I do not want it now. It was raw arousal and the desire to make you happy by allowing you to have both of your bondeds that led me to considering it at all. I hadn't realized I was violating our guidelines when I kissed him or when I let him stroke me. I was wrong for that. Maybe I was wrong for letting him in at all, but I so badly want to give you all the things you desire in this world--even Thorin. When I asked you if you wanted it, it was because I was loath to say I didn't want to go as far as Thorin asked if it was your desire. You were so horrified and I was terribly confused by everything--Thorin touching me, his offer, you being upset. Looking back, it should have been obvious to me. Clearly if you were trembling and asking me if his idea was my wish after yelling at him and throwing him out, you did not want to be the trio he proposed. I feel incredibly stupid for not seeing that, and for asking the wrong things after."

Bilbo's eyes were welling over in tears and he nearly had to bite down on his tongue, but he kept quiet as he had agreed.

"But you did not listen to me," Kili continued. "We did not have a conversation. You did not ask me to clarify my admittedly cryptic question. You decided you knew the answer and you ran off. Thankfully you did not dress me down the way you did Thorin and Gandalf, but you also did not give me the respect of allowing me...well, anything, really. You nearly died. You were ready to die and did not even bother to ask any further questions. I will thank the Valar every day for Gandalf sending Bofur after you and for Bofur's speed and quick thinking. You owe your life to them, truly. The life you once promised to me, you were going to extinguish entirely based on a misunderstanding. You were going to take yourself out of my reach, and it was terrifying."

Bilbo's tears were flowing freely and silently. He looked down in embarrassment, because Kili was right.

Kili said, "After you lived and my terror subsided, I still tried to make sense of it. You were hurt. I know what it is like to make a terrible decision based on jealousy and pain, if you'll remember. Yours was a rash decision that could have resulted in terrible tragedy, but I was ready to forget it. I made dozens of silent promises while I sat waiting for you to wake--oh, if only you would wake and look upon me with love in your eyes! I swore I would forgive, I would seek to understand so it did not happen again, and I would love you twice as hard for having nearly lost you in both body and soul."

Bilbo was weeping quietly but hard. Kili handed him a handkerchief and he pressed it to his nose and mouth tightly. It killed Kili to see Bilbo like this, but he could not stop now.

"Then you woke, Bilbo. You woke and carved out my heart, carved it from your very own chest and handed it back to me as though it were nothing." The tears Kili had been trying to suppress could no longer be contained. They fell freely down his cheeks as he talked. "You sent me away while I pleaded for a moment. I begged simply to explain. You were cold, so cold to me. I thought perhaps you drowned the part that loved me. I've cried many, many tears for you since the day we met, Bilbo Baggins, and their number put together could not rival how I wept for you after that. You wouldn't even _listen_. I felt as though I was not even a person to you anymore."

Kili had to stop speaking for a moment to sob, as he was overcome.

Kili's words and tears together were breaking Bilbo's already battered heart. He longed to comfort the both of them. "May I hold you?" Bilbo asked.

With his face in his hands, Kili nodded. Bilbo moved to put his arms around Kili and was snatched up tightly. They cried together for several moments.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Bilbo murmured into Kili's shoulder. "I was stupid and wrong. I mistreated you so awfully I can't even beg your forgiveness. It is far too much to ask."  
"You were stupid," Kili agreed. "I was so helpless, Bilbo. It was the worst feeling."  
"I know because it is the way I'm feeling now, but I deserve it. You didn't. You didn't deserve it at all."  
"I-I had a vision last night, I think."  
"Tell me," Bilbo requested, still clinging onto Kili and afraid now to let go.  
"I saw Mahal--The Maker. He made me...offers."  
"What sort of offers?"  
"To fix this so we would remember none of it, or so that I would not remember you. He offered to remove my pain, to go as far as to remove my love so I wouldn't care. I told him no."  
"Why did you do that?"  
"You're a part of me. The pain, the hurt, the sadness--as much as I hate them, the alternative was no Bilbo. If he simply erased this incident, we would be doomed to repeat it. I don't want to just 'make it go away.' I can't live a life where we hurt each other like this and magically do not remember we can destroy each other so."

Bilbo's heart sank. The hope he had gotten from Yavanna began to dissolve. His heart sank further when Kili broke their embrace to look into Bilbo's red, puffy eyes.

"Do you still have love for me?" Kili asked solemnly.  
"I never stopped. I love you most dearly."  
"What you did, what you said, the things you wouldn't let me say--it wounded me. More than that, it mutilated me."  
Bilbo nodded and looked down, new drops escaping his eyes.  
"You told me to go back to Erebor," Kili accused.  
"To be with Thorin. I thought you wanted him and I was too angry to fight, like a child pretending he didn't love his favorite toy."  
"Is that what I was? Your toy?" Kili asked softly.  
"Not remotely. You were my everything."  
"Were?" Kili asked uncertainly.  
Bilbo corrected himself firmly. "Are."  
Kili exhaled slowly. He said, "I'm sorry for my part in this, I truly am."

 _This sounds like goodbye_ , Bilbo thought.

Aloud, Bilbo said, "I'm more regretful than I can tell you."  
"I never stopped loving you, either," Kili admitted. "I'll always love you."

Bilbo was sickeningly reminded of all the times he had parted ways with Thorin.

"I love you, too. I'll love you forever," Bilbo promised, close to another full crying jag.  
"It seems wrong for two people who love each other like we do not to be together, don't you think?" Kili asked.  
Bilbo blinked the blurriness out of his eyes. "What? I-um, yes?"

Kili smiled for Bilbo then, and Bilbo felt a warmth within as though Kili were the sun itself.

"And, you know, as long as two people are together and a wedding has more or less been planned, possibly those two people should still get married."

Kili fished his bag out of his shirt and pulled out Bilbo's mithril ring.

"If you'll still have me," Kili said tenderly.

Bilbo stopped fighting his tears but the emotion had completely changed.

"If I'll have you?" he spluttered. "If you'll have me is more the question! Kili, how? How can you possibly forgive me?"  
"It will be a while before I'm over the hurt, and no mistake, but the thing I realized even as my heart shattered was how much I wanted this life with you. If this hadn't been everything I ever desired, it would not have destroyed me so. I'm hurting, but I haven't stopped wanting. I'm far from ready to let go."  
Kili took Bilbo's hand. "Do you want it, too?"  
Bilbo gazed at Kili. "More than ever."

When Kili slipped the ring on Bilbo's finger, Bilbo saw Kili still wore his.

"You didn't take it off," Bilbo said softly, running a finger over it.  
Said Kili, "I'm in no big hurry to live without you, either, just so you know."

Bilbo wrapped his arms around Kili and embraced him tightly. Kili rocked him gently, whispering "I love you" in his ear. Bilbo turned his head on Kili's shoulder so he could breathe and saw his letter from Thorin on the nightstand. He felt ill. Bilbo had been so surprised by Kili appearing in his room and the things he said, he had nearly forgotten his transgression. He realized he was about to lose Kili for the second time in two days, but how could he keep this from him?

"I had a vision last night, too," Bilbo confessed.  
"Yavanna?"  
"Yes. I had many strange dreams last night. Gandalf warned me the sedation would give me very vivid dreams. I was in the garden looking for Yavanna in full sun and could feel it on my skin. I called to her and felt the weary scratch in my throat after several tries. I thought sure it was real, but then I was rather suddenly in Bag End wearing Lake Town clothes. I saw Bofur and actually felt his hand in mine. I witnessed my candle flame turn into a dragon and fizzle out, feeling the buzz on my eardrum and smelling the smoke. Thorin came to my bed, and I made love with him. I felt it all, Kili. Afterward, I saw Yavanna much like I saw her at Beorn's. She put the ring back on my finger. Of course, you know I woke without it. But I also woke to this."

Bilbo handed him Thorin's letter.

"I don't understand," Kili said.  
"The Thorin part was not the dream I imagined it was."  
"Should I read this?"  
"You may if you like, but my point is I'm certain Thorin was in my room last night...and I had sex with him."  
"The letter says that?"  
"No, but the letter mentions me crying for you in his arms, and that was in the dream. That, and I woke up with some more, um, obvious clues," Bilbo said awkwardly.  
Kili's voice took on a more deliberate tone. "So you had sex last night. With him. Alone."  
"Apparently. I thought I was dreaming magically, but that is no excuse," Bilbo said miserably.  
"Bloody Void, Bilbo! It is one thing for me to have been there, but for us to be on such vicious outs and for you to let him, let him-"  
"-I know. And it might be too much, much too much for us to get through intact. I can't expect you to forgive this along with everything else, but I could not lie to you."  
Kili rubbed the back of his neck. "I-I need to be alone right now."  
BIlbo nodded, eyes filling again. "I understand."

Kili left Bilbo alone in his room.

 

*****

Fili approached his brother, who sat on a bench outside Bag End.  
"Hey, how are you today? I didn't talk to you this morning," Fili said.  
Kili shrugged halfheartedly. "I'm not rightly sure how I am at the moment."  
"Kee, he'll come around. He has to. He loves you too much and sooner or later he is going to have to figure out that you and Thorin running off together without him would be about the last thing either of you would do."

Kili kept his morning to himself, anticipating questions he could not yet answer.

"Where's Bo?" asked Kili.  
"With Bifur."  
"Did the two of you eat in Bag End this morning?"  
Fili shook his head and repeated, "With Bifur."  
Kili hummed in understanding. "Bo. He's, um, he's pretty cross, isn't he?"  
"Yes, and he's not alone. What in the name of Durin happened?"  
Kili ran a hand through his hair. "Gods, Fee, which _part_?"  
"Maybe you could start with," Fili lowered his voice, "what Thorin was doing in bed with you and Bilbo?"  
Kili looked over in shock. "Who told you that?"  
"No one told me that. We came home and heard the three of you."  
Kili looked around to see if anyone was nearby.  
"We can go in the house if you think it is better," Fili said.  
"No, Bilbo is in the house. Here is better."

Kili took a deep breath and confessed to Fili how he overheard Thorin's attempt at seduction, how Bilbo spoke so passionately about Kili, and how he wanted to give that experience to both of them. He explained how he had wanted to show Thorin how good Kili and Bilbo were together, but how it turned into something equal parts tender and wild for all three of them.

"Bilbo would let _Thorin_ make love to him when he would not let me or Bofur kiss him?" Fili asked, incredulous. "How does that work?"  
"Bilbo had a bond with Thorin already...and Thorin does not have a bond-mate that Bilbo is trying to protect."  
"Yes, Thorin had done all this with him before and _if you'll remember_ it worked out terribly for you all in the end. Bilbo and Thorin were apart, you were miserable for weeks upon weeks, and Thorin came up with who knows how many plans to try and win Bilbo away from you. Yet somehow, Thorin gets welcomed in and we get locked out, though Bo and I would never try to come between you."  
"I think Bilbo could play with you and enjoy it for what it was, but I believe he is afraid of Bo."  
"Afraid?' Fili scoffed. "Bo would sooner hurt himself than Bilbo. He's much safer in Bo's arms than Thorin's."  
"If Bilbo kissed you, touched you, or you touched him, would it mean anything besides fun and pleasure? Would it change how you looked at him over breakfast? Where your thoughts drifted as you settled down for sleep at night?"  
"Minus a few blushes or an occasional fantasy, probably not. Not any more than our play has changed things, anyway, which has been only for the better in my eyes."  
Kili said, "Now tell me it wouldn't mean anything more for Bo, either."

Fili opened his mouth to reply and paused. He licked his lips in thought and his eyes flicked back to Kili's.

"I think you know I cannot," Fili replied.  
Kili nodded slowly. "I think Bilbo believes if he starts, he will not be able to stop, so he feels safer never starting at all. He won't let you play without Bofur because that is unkind and unfair in a different way. Therefore, you've only been able to watch thus far. I can tell you, after our day with Thorin, we talked about you and Bo. He agreed it was a bit silly to keep you two from touching when Thorin received more than you would ask, but he still feared it."

"Do you fear it, Kee? The two of them?"  
"Would you think me crazy if I said no?"  
With a slight shake of his head, Fili huffed a little laugh. "I think we're both a bit mad."

They sat in contemplative silence. Fili considered Kili's explanation about why they chose Thorin to share their bed. He still felt the residual pang of jealousy over being left out when Thorin was welcomed, but it made sense in what Fili had come to learn as Bilbo's way of thinking. He moved on to the next issue pressing in his mind.

"Thorin told me what he did that upset Bilbo," Fili said.  
Kili replied emotionless, "Did he?"  
"Bilbo told you to leave and go to Erebor to be with Thorin. Why did he think you wanted that?"  
"Thorin said a lot of things yesterday morning about what it would be like if all three of us were bonded. Until he shared our bed, I never put much thought into Bilbo being able to be with both of us, openly, without having to hide. Bilbo seemed to enjoy the morning so much--we had discussed doing it again--and I thought he might want a more regular arrangement, especially the way Thorin was putting things. When Bilbo kicked Thorin out, I asked him if he wanted the things Thorin was proposing. Thinking about it now, I was foolish to have bothered asking at all. He might have wanted to continue playing, but he wouldn't have wanted Thorin and me bonded. He didn't want Thorin touching me any more than he wanted Bo doing it."  
"Did you? Do you want him, Kee?" asked Fili, making an enormous effort to keep his tone neutral.  
Kili looked up at the sky and exhaled. "The things we did--I'm not ashamed to say it felt good. There's a reason Bilbo had trouble getting over him and I think you and I both know it wasn't Thorin's jovial personality. He's attractive and he's... _skilled_. I was curious, sure. If Bilbo wanted the deeper arrangement, I would have tried it, but left on my own, I had no desire to marry Thorin or carry his imprint."

The thought of Thorin with Kili made Fili's chest burn, but he did his best to ignore it. 

He asked, "Bilbo thought you did, though?"  
Kili toed at a rock with his boot. "There was a misunderstanding and Bilbo ran with it. I could not get him to listen to me before he took off."  
"So what now?"  
Kili shook his head. "I'm not sure. So much has happened in such a short amount of time, you know? I feel responsible for starting it, but I'm also shocked at how Thorin and Bilbo both reacted. The last thing I ever thought would happen would be for Thorin to ask me to be his bonded, too. Or for Bilbo to want to kill himself for the loss of me...or to send me away after he lived to tell the tale. I don't know what is next for any of us."

Kili chose not to tell Fili he and Bilbo had reconciled, only to be faced with another challenge immediately after. It was best to remain vague while he pondered their future together.

"What do you _want_ next? If you could work your will?" Fili asked, slipping an arm around Kili's shoulders.  
Kili considered the rather familiar-sounding question. "Moving forward, you mean? Not being able to undo the past?"  
"Yes, if you could have your way starting from this moment forward."

Kili thought about it intently. A small smile played around his mouth when he finally answered.

"I want to marry my hobbit. I want to marry him and live here and have dirty, filthy sex until our bones creak."  
Fili almost giggled. "If you could manage such a thing, would you be smarter about the dirty, filthy sex, at least?"  
Kili grinned impishly. "Probably not," he said honestly.  
"Kee!" Fili admonished.  
Kili shrugged.  
"It would not do our relationship any favors to try and stuff our desires in a box and hide them under the bed. We like what we like, though I think we have learned some things about permissions and boundaries." Kili glanced at Fili from the side of his eye and smirked. "That means no touching my prick, Fee. I know you're really disappointed about that but you'll have to get over it."  
Fili shoved his brother, chuckling. "Piss off! I don't want to touch your prick! Just Bo's. And Bilbo's. Maybe."

The two of them shoved and laughed for a moment as though they hadn't a care. When the giggling subsided, Fili asked, "So, what is your grand plan to marry your hobbit when the two of you are currently sleeping in separate bedrooms?"

 _"I suppose I'll have to find a way to forgive him,_ " Kili thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from this bit of gorgeousness by Simon & Garfunkel--  
> http://youtu.be/9DOWpks0F4k


	17. When Lost, Will You Find Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin wore a disbelieving grin that was more malicious than mirthful.  
> "Pray, tell me how my beloved kin and my bonded need protection from me?" he sneered.  
> Bofur raised his eyebrows. "Are we doing this?" he asked through gritted teeth.  
> Thorin met his challenge. "I do believe we are."

Bilbo ventured out of his room to make some food and found he was alone in the house. He had dreaded speaking with Fili and Bofur, knowing he would be embarrassed at his behavior and outbursts the day before. Still, the quiet empty of his house was disconcerting and it, along with fretting about Kili, cost him his appetite. He sat at his table for a short while before going outside to try to soothe himself with a smoke. 

Kili sat alone on the bench, fidgeting with Thorin's letter. He had finally read it, once Fili left him alone. Parts of it were confusing and troubling. Other passages helped give Kili clarity about the situation with Bilbo. He turned his head at the noise Bilbo made by using the door.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll leave you," Bilbo said.  
Kili said, "Wait."  
Bilbo stood still and gazed at Kili, waiting for him to speak.  
"May we go inside and not share this with the neighbors?" Kili asked. 

Kili had not lived there long, but he was catching on to the way things worked in Hobbiton. Quietly chatting with Fili was one thing, but he and Bilbo did not need to be crying for everyone to see if their emotions got the best of them. 

Bilbo thought they would speak in the foyer but Kili led him back to the privacy of the bedroom once again. They sat on the bed, facing each other. Bilbo waited for Kili to talk first.

Kili's talk with Fili and Thorin's letter had left him with no lingering doubts. He took a moment to figure out the best way to start this conversation.

"You cried for me?" asked Kili finally.  
"Afterward. I cried because you weren't there, that you weren't him, that I had lost you. The last thing I remember is weeping for the loss of you. After that, I was in the garden with Yavanna."  
"I see."

There was silence for several more moments as Kili looked into Bilbo's eyes. His expression betrayed none of his thoughts, though, and Bilbo could not stand it any longer.

"So, is this it for us, then?" he said, attempting to control his voice.  
"No, it is not 'it for us.' I'm not thrilled about the idea of you privately coupling with him while I was alone and pining, but the other day, I was on this very bed telling him how to give it to you best. I can hardly go leaving you over what you might have thought to be a magic dream when I lustily watched you do the same thing with my waking eyes not two days ago."  
Bilbo's eyebrows shot up. "Truly?"

Kili held out his arms, not waiting long for them to be filled with Bilbo. Kili cradled Bilbo's jaw and kissed him sweetly. Bilbo pushed into their kiss more insistently and Kili nearly giggled with the relief he felt. The wet of Bilbo's tongue slicked against Kili's own and he thought to himself how they could get through nearly anything if it meant he would always have this. As the kiss faded, Kili held Bilbo in his lap. 

"You realize your logic works out rather heavily in my favor," Bilbo said skeptically.  
"Which is why you should not dispute it," Kili replied, kissing Bilbo's cheek. "Though I do ask, should such a thing arise as a possibility again, we discuss it first?"  
Bilbo nestled his head into Kili's chest. "I've learned a fairly large lesson about sharing our bed, Kili. I do not think such a thing will be in our future."  
Kili frowned. "Because I broke the rules?"  
"Because my rules were hypocritical to begin with. I knew it, I even told you so, but I felt more passionately about it than before after hearing you moan for Thorin. If you do not get to participate, then I should not either. We should have kept it that way and none of this would have happened."  
"And have pent-up desires and unfulfilled wishes to tear us apart instead? Let us not be hasty, Mister Baggins," Kili teased.  
Bilbo looked up. "Kee, your libido is going to get us into more messes..."  
"My libido and your charm," Kili grinned. "It is not my fault all the dwarrows want their hands on you, or that you like their hands on you, or that I like watching their-"  
"-Yes, I get it, and although I regret a great many things I said to you, I meant it when I said I'm not your whore."  
"Oh, my jewel. I know you aren't." Kili sighed heavily. "This is going to affect a lot of things from here onward, isn't it?"  
"I expect so."  
"Will you promise me we will talk about them, then? Bad feelings, jealousy, worries--can we discuss things before we're doing things like spending the night apart and calling off the wedding?"  
Bilbo looked sheepish. "I can't say enough how wrong I was. I will do better to speak instead of making rash decisions."  
"Could we also be open to talking about possible good things? Is this going to ruin what happens with Fee and Bo?"  
Bilbo held to Kili more tightly. "I couldn't bear to lose them, Kee."  
"They've been terribly affected by all this. You should have seen Bo light into Thorin...and me."  
"Gods, what did he say?"  
"Nothing we did not need to hear. He cares for you so much. He would be much more respectful of our relationship and your boundaries than Thorin was. He and Fili both."  
"I can't help but think I might have been unfair to Thorin when it came to touching you," said Bilbo. "Not that I liked it, understand, but it all went so fast with him, I never told him what my boundaries were. I screamed and screamed at him and he did not understand why. He had no way of knowing. Maybe I should apologize to him, too."  
"Now you _are_ being hasty," Kili said, not teasing as before. "I think making love with him last night was more than enough apology."  
"Point taken."  
"What of Fee and Bo?"  
"It is a bit too soon for me. This whole situation was traumatizing, to say the least. We've only just made up as it is," Bilbo said.  
"Then we will let it go for a while. I think perhaps, like me, the events of the last day might have given them an epiphany or two of their own. It may come up again sooner than you might anticipate."  
Bilbo sat back, scooting off Kili's lap. "For now, my stomach is empty, my head aches from crying, I'm a touch dizzy, and my tongue is about all talked out. I'm ready to get some food and marry you before anything else terrible happens--and not necessarily in that order!"  
Kili laughed and helped Bilbo off the bed. "I think the meal has to come before the wedding."  
Bilbo kissed him tenderly. "Thank you for giving me a second chance. Or third. It may even be my tenth by now."  
Kili tapped his finger on Bilbo's nose. "You've still got about ninety to go, then, though you're very welcome to leave them unused." 

*****

__  
Gandalf knocked as Kili and Bilbo pawed through the pantry, deciding on their lunch. Kili answered the door.

"Good afternoon, Kili. How are you doing today? Have you checked in on how Bilbo is feeling?" Gandalf asked cautiously.  
Kili couldn't stop the smile that bloomed across his face. "I think we're both doing much better today."  
"Kee? Who was at the door?" Bilbo called, leaning into the doorway. "Gandalf!"

Gandalf looked between Kili and Bilbo curiously. 

"You two have resolved some things?" he asked, eyebrow raised.  
Kili looked back at Bilbo, smile softening tenderly. "Enough to decide we're better together than apart....and enough to continue with the wedding."  
"Did you?" Gandalf grinned. "Did you, indeed? Good."  
Bilbo waved Gandalf forward. "Come in, we were just figuring out some food."

Gandalf watched with concern as Bilbo walked somewhat crookedly into the kitchen. Kili disappeared into the pantry again. 

"How are you feeling after yesterday's, ah, incident?" Gandalf asked.  
Bilbo rolled his lips into his mouth and turned to look up at the wizard.  
"I suppose I cannot pretend all that trouble and mess did not happen, can I?"  
Gandalf shook his head, but his gaze was sympathetic.  
Bilbo sighed. "You did not mention yesterday evening that I owed you my life."  
"Bofur pulled you from the water and was working hard to bring you back around. I merely hastened the process," Gandalf said. 

Bilbo looked down, pulling the corners of his mouth back in thought. He glanced back up at Gandalf, contrite. 

"I owe you apologies. I was not the hobbit I pride myself in being yesterday. My outburst was befitting neither Took nor Baggins. I hope you do not think too far less of me for the spectacle I created."  
Gandalf put his hand on Bilbo's shoulder. "Love makes people do foolish things, my dear fellow. My only concern is that you are well."  
Bilbo put his hand over Gandalf's and gave it a pat. "Just a bit woozy from the emptiness of my stomach, which brings us around to lunch!"  
Bilbo moved toward the pantry, pausing to turn to face Gandalf for a moment.  
"Thank you, Gandalf."

Gandalf nodded deeply and Bilbo quirked a sweet, bashful smile before heading back to his preparations. He had only taken a couple steps when he stumbled and fell to his knees. 

"Bilbo?" Gandalf shouted, rushing to him.  
Kili appeared in the doorway, also rushing over to him in panic. "What happened?"  
Bilbo was hunched over. "I'm fine," he said weakly. "I'm just a bit light-headed."  
Kili helped him to stand, only for Bilbo's legs to give way again. 

"Kili, get him some fruit or juice or something to eat as fast as you can. Water, too. A fair amount of it," Gandalf demanded. 

He helped Bilbo into a chair as Kili came back with an apple, water, and some bread. Bilbo was holding his head up with his arm, as though it took great effort. Kili very quickly quartered the fruit while Gandalf interrogated Bilbo.

"When did you eat last?"  
"Yesterday morning," Bilbo replied.  
"You did not eat yet today?" Gandalf asked, aghast.  
Bilbo shook his head and took the apple slice Kili handed him. "I was preoccupied and food sounded like the last thing I wanted."  
"Bilbo, it was crucial that you had a full night's rest and a full breakfast to expedite your healing. Being up and about without eating might have hindered your progress." Gandalf looked up at Kili from under his eyebrows suspiciously. "Have you two been... _exerting_ yourselves?"

Kili's eyes flicked over to Bilbo. He knew Bilbo's rest had been disturbed, to say the very least, but not by him. 

"No," Kili said hesitantly.  
Gandalf exhaled in relief. "Good."

Kili frowned. It was not good to lie (even merely by omission) to one's healer. It was clearly important to Gandalf that Bilbo had not been having sex for whatever reason. He looked pleadingly at Bilbo, but Kili would not give up his secret without leave.

Bilbo took a large drink of water and nervously cleared his throat. "I haven't...with _Kili_ ," he said meaningfully.  
Gandalf glanced between a guilty-looking Bilbo and a nearly-pouting Kili with eyes growing wide. "Merciful heavens. What have you been doing?"

*****

Fili and Bofur were at the Green Dragon with Bifur, Ori, Chadham, and Thodora. Bofur idly wondered if Ori had spent a waking moment without them in days. Ori had wanted to visit Bilbo for lunch, but Fili talked him out of it. The more time Kili had to speak to Bilbo alone, the better the chances they might actually get around to it.

Thorin spotted them at their table. He had not gone in search of them, but he was not too surprised to find them looking for food at lunch time. His eyes landed on Bofur and he felt both jealousy and irritation. He had not forgotten Bofur's late visit to Bilbo's room. The ache of letting Bilbo go so that he and Kili may be happy turned to tar within him when he thought of Bofur becoming a danger to Kili, Bilbo, and Fili's happiness with his obvious crush on the hobbit. He would be damned before he would walk away simply to let Bofur disrupt things instead. 

He approached the table and requested a word with Bofur. Bifur and Fili were concerned but Bofur went without a fuss. Thorin and Bofur walked to where they would not be interrupted or overheard. 

Without preamble, Thorin said bluntly, "I've repeatedly asked Bilbo what is going on between the two of you and he has evaded the question every time."  
"Perhaps that means something, such as he doesn't think it is your right to pry," Bofur countered.  
"Or perhaps it means you're concealing something."  
"Not thinking every glance requires written royal approval doesn't mean we're hiding things from your nosy arse."  
"You are being coy, but it is in your best interests to be forthcoming with me."  
Bofur canted his head. Firmly, he said, "No, I do not believe it is."  
"I think it would be unfortunate if I had to tell Fili you were in Bilbo's room last night," Thorin warned.  
"I'm not terribly worried about a threat that puts you inside Bag End after you were supposed to have been gone for the night. How do you suppose you would explain that?"  
"I had concerns and questions. I couldn't sleep not knowing, not seeing him, not hearing his breath or his voice."  
"So you decided to spy on us. I can at least take comfort, then, that you know you interrupted nothing illicit. I merely wanted what you wanted--to reassure myself the danger had passed."  
Thorin laughed without merriment. "I know no such thing! I did not hear what transpired, but I saw you sneak out. What I _did_ hear was him begging you to come back and kiss him. Do you care to explain that to me, Bofur? Do you care to explain that to my nephew whom you are courting?"

Bofur's irritation with Thorin gave way to something incredulous and sweet for a moment. "He said that?" 

Thorin made sure the good feeling didn't last. "Rather frantically, I might add. Just what were you doing in there before you left him? Do Fili and I want to know?"  
"I owe you no explanations, and Fee knows what he needs to know right now."  
" _Fee_ knows what you want him to know, you mean. As you so eloquently pointed out, I may not be king in the Shire, but know I can do other things to protect my loved ones. Stay away from Bilbo. Concentrate on your own lover and leave Kili's alone."  
Bofur scoffed. "Me? You want _me_ to stay away from Bilbo? You're a fine one to talk! Truly, Thorin, you've never been less likable to me than you are in this moment. Your meddling in their relationship is the reason Bilbo almost died!" 

"At least I had some right to him, unlike you!" Thorin argued. "We had been engaged! I loved him! I'm in love with him still!"  
"Well, I'm in love with him too!" Bofur thundered.

Bofur's words hung in the air between them for several moments as they stared each other down, the stunned expression on Bofur's face making it obvious to Thorin he had not intended to confess such a thing. Thorin remembered Fili's odd defense of Bofur the other day when he had pressed him about Bofur and Bilbo, not to mention Fili's intimate knowledge of Bilbo's "rules." Realization spread through Thorin's mind like a rolling fog: _Fili knows._

"What is your stake in this, Bofur?" Thorin asked icily. "What do you get out of it? Bilbo's kisses? His body?"  
Bofur shook his head sadly at the thought, but his tone was angry when he spoke. "I've no idea how his lips taste, not that it's your business. Quite frankly, I've had it with your suspicious questions, your threatening glares, and the rest of your orc-shit. I've been putting up with you giving me stink-eye when it came to Bilbo since our first visit to Rivendell. It stops now. The four of us have been together on a remarkably long road, trading turns taking care of each other for many months. Looking after Bilbo, Kili, and Fili has become as natural to me as breathing. If you think for the tiniest of moments that the three of them need to be protected from me, then clearly you know next to nothing. I do think they could use some protection from you, however."

Thorin wore a disbelieving grin that was more malicious than mirthful.

"Pray, tell me how my beloved kin and my bonded need protection from me?" he sneered.  
Bofur raised his eyebrows. "Are we doing this?" he asked through gritted teeth.  
Thorin met his challenge. "I do believe we are."

Months of Bofur holding his tongue for incident after incident flooded through his mind. He planted his feet, set his jaw, and held Thorin's stare defiantly.

He spat, "Fine. Let's start small. You've got Fili bearing the burden of future kingship and trying to have some sliver of life for himself before he takes on the responsibilities it will entail, yet he's constantly fretting over his uncle who has lost his mind, whether it be over gold or love. In addition, Fili is Kili's protector and it seems to him like you're the biggest threat to Kili's happiness. So, Fili has to choose between his uncle or his brother and it kills him to be pulled apart in such a manner. He spends his time playing mediator and worrying so much about the two of you, he can barely enjoy these years he's tried to take for himself. Oh, and Kili! The poor bastard! He's lived his whole life wanting the slightest shred of your approval, never believing himself to be good enough. He spent so long being second best, he had no idea anyone would ever think he was special but his brother. When he finally found someone to love and to love him back, it turned out he was second best a-bloody-gain. By some miracle, he got his love anyway and had to deal with a constant barrage of trouble, heartache, and schemes because you couldn't let it go. By the way, did you know he did not do any of the asking? He never thought he was good enough to ask. I wonder who gave him that idea? Bilbo was the one who asked to court, who initiated their deeper relationship, and who finally did the proposing-- _proper_ proposing, as it happens. Now, Kili is finally here where he has wanted to be for months upon months, planning a wedding, and you have to barrel in and throw it all into chaos because you couldn't leave well enough alone."

Bofur did not know how to read the changing looks on Thorin's face as he hurled his accusations, but it did not slow him down. He moved on to his next subject.

"Then we've got Bilbo. When he wasn't enduring your put downs and your snide remarks on the road, he was pulling us out of mess after mess...and apparently falling in love with both you and Kili. _For some reason_ , Kili didn't think he had leave to express his feelings to Bilbo, leaving Bilbo open to be romanced by the noble, handsome king who had finally realized his value. I'll hand it to you, Thorin--that was the one thing you got right. Only partially right, though, because Bilbo had no idea how he had suddenly become engaged, not knowing our traditions. He attempted to embrace it, although his heart was pulled in two directions. He stayed with you, though your concern for him as anything other than your bed toy seemed to fade the moment he became as such. Do not forget, I saw all too clearly the way you treated him in Lake Town, well before the excuse of the dragon sickness was available to you. It grew worse in Erebor, but he wouldn't leave. Your love for gold grew and your regard for him dimmed. We all begged him to go, myself included, but he would not leave your side. He didn't go until you nearly killed him. After the battle, you came back to yourself and whoops--how 'bout that? It was all a mistake! Unfortunately for you, hobbits have long memories. So Bilbo moved forward and found happiness, but that happiness wasn't with _you_ so you wanted to fuck it all up, never mind what his will was."

Bofur crossed his arms as he voiced his final point. "Tell me, Thorin, in what version of reality do you live where the three of them do _NOT_ need protection from you?"

Thorin had been proud and ready for a fight, be it verbal or otherwise. He thought there was no moral high ground Bofur could take, particularly when he had pined for Bilbo himself. As Bofur listed out Thorin's sins for him, the king's bravado diminished. He pulled in breath several times to argue, only to realize he had no retort. He hated to admit it, but Bofur was right. He wrote Bilbo a letter not twelve hours before making some of those very points. By the time Bofur had finished, all the fight had gone out of Thorin. 

"Everything you said is true, and more besides about which you've likely not heard," Thorin said solemnly. "For my part, I have walked away. I've given up, if knowing such things makes you happy. I don't want any of them hurt more than I've hurt them, which is why I initiated this talk." 

Thorin walking out of the picture and away from their quartet certainly made Bofur happy in one way, but Thorin went from defiant to defeated so quickly, Bofur didn't have the heart to find joy in it. He knew, too, Fili did not wish for Thorin's complete absence, and he honestly had no idea where Bilbo or Kili's hearts were in this situation any longer. Perhaps Bilbo and Kili wanted Thorin, though the memory of what they had been up to with Thorin in their bed affected Bofur terribly. By his own standards, if Thorin was what they wanted, who was he to say otherwise? Was Bofur actually any better than the king? 

"I-I don't have a response for that," Bofur admitted.  
"Perhaps it would be better if this conversation were over." Thorin looked at Bofur meaningfully. "I'm finding it hard to remember why I thought it was necessary to start."

Bofur knew it was as close to an apology as he was going to get. He inclined his head toward Thorin and took his leave without another word.

*****

Yavanna joined Mahal in his glittered cove. 

"He denied your intervention?" she said.  
Mahal nodded proudly. "He's so young in many ways, but in others he is wise beyond his years. Yours?"  
"Repentant, but in need of comfort and soothing. He did not attempt to make bargains, though he clearly thought all was lost."  
"Mine left us a mithril tribute, but in the end, he accepted nothing in return--not even when I offered it."  
Yavanna smiled sweetly. "Perhaps there is something yet we may do."

*****

After Bofur shared the story of his altercation with Fili (and calmed down from it), they headed back to Bag End to look in on Bilbo and Kili. They found Kili cooking in the kitchen. He told them Gandalf had ordered Bilbo off his feet for rest and a proper meal cooked for him. He explained to them Gandalf's reasoning and Bilbo's neglect, leaving out the private details.

Seeing Fili and Bofur enter his room, Bilbo brightened. "Oh, thank goodness! Will you tell this daft old wizard I do not need to be confined to my bed?"  
"We will do no such thing!" Fili argued. "If he thinks you need to rest up and eat more, that is what you shall do."  
Bilbo pouted, putting Fili in mind of Kili. Fili tried not to grin.  
"You were my last hope. Kili has hopelessly taken Gandalf's side," Bilbo said.  
"You would do well to remember 'Gandalf's side' is 'Bilbo's side,' too," Gandalf chided him. "I want you to be able to stand up at your own wedding."  
Fili's eyebrows raised. "Wedding? You and Kili have worked this out between you?"  
"Enough to not want to be apart," Kili said, entering the room with a tray of food for Bilbo.  
"So everything--all this horror, all the fighting--it was all for nothing, then?" Bofur asked brusquely.  
"I'm sorry, truly. I owe all of you so many apologies. Things grew out of hand and I reacted badly. Overreacted, to be honest," Bilbo said. His glance flicked between the dwarrows. "I never set out to hurt anyone, particularly the ones I love most."  
"If you and Kili have found a way to put this matter behind you and move forward, so can I," Fili assured him.

Bofur neither responded to Bilbo's apology nor agreed with Fili. 

"Speaking of moving forward, have the two of you seen Thorin yet this day?" Bilbo asked. "We have been worried about him."  
Bofur answered blandly, "Aye, we have."  
"How did he seem?"  
"Ornery, entitled...Thorin as usual."

Bilbo and Kili were visibly relieved.

"What is this, Kee?" Fili wanted to know.  
Kili folded his hands and took a deep breath. "Thorin left Bilbo a token and a letter in the night. I read it after we spoke earlier, Fee. Do any of you know what a mourning braid is? I must confess ignorance in this area of lore, or perhaps I slept through one lesson too many."

Gandalf's brow furrowed as he thought through dwarvish stories, myths, and legends. As his mind at last closed around a faint memory, Bofur spoke.

He explained, "It was an ancient practice for a dwarf to cut a braid in mourning of their dearest dead. It was rare, even in those days, and usually reserved for a child or a Chosen. I've not heard of it being done in recent generations--only sang of in old, nearly-forgotten songs. Even in those, I've never heard of such a thing being done for the living."

"That is far more than I knew," Fili said. "I must have slept through the same lessons Kee did."  
"You know I love the old love songs and histories," Bofur replied. "I'll bet Ori knows more than I do."

Bilbo's breath caught in his throat, making a small noise, and he covered his mouth. Kili was equally shocked, but he recovered enough to look to Gandalf for further information.

"Gandalf?" he asked.  
"I know about as much as Bofur has told you. I doubt either of you slept through that lesson, for it was likely never taught. It was seldom practiced saved for times of the most acute grief."  
Fili seized Kili's arm. "Why are you asking this? What was the token Thorin left for Bilbo?"

Bilbo reached over to the nightstand and produced Thorin's braid. Fili's mouth slacked open. Bofur simply stared, disbelieving.

"But-but we just _saw_ him! I didn't see it missing!" Fili cried.  
Bofur added, "I did not notice its absence either."  
"When he would tuck them behind his ears, they blended in with the thickness of his hair. Likely you didn't imagine it would have been cut," Bilbo said.  
"Not in thousands of years," Fili whispered, eyes starting to fill.  
"So this is his way of saying we're dead to him?" Kili asked, voice wavering.  
Bofur shook his head. "It is the furthest thing from malicious you could imagine. One might say it is the highest honor a dwarf can give their dead. That he is giving it to either of you while you are living...I do not know what to make of that."

Bofur silently thought about Thorin saying he had given up. _He honestly meant it,_ Bofur thought. 

"D-do you think he is in danger? Of self-harm?" Bilbo asked hesitantly.  
"You could check with Ori to see if he knows more, as Bofur suggested. What else did the letter say?" Gandalf asked.

Kili and Bilbo exchanged a look. 

Kili answered, "That he was leaving us to our life together. He said the braid would keep him honest in leaving us to ourselves. He mentioned wanting to caravan to Erebor with the rest of the dwarrows, though."  
"That does not sound like he is in any immediate danger from himself. Still, perhaps we should not leave anything to chance this time," Gandalf said.  
"I do not feel much more like eating, now," Bilbo said sadly.  
"That is how you got in a mess this morning, ignoring your hobbit sense. You must eat at least a little more and have a rest," Gandalf insisted.  
Kili turned to Bofur and Fili. "There's more to go 'round, if you are hungry. Bee, I'll come back to get your tray and crawl into bed with you so you do not have to nap lonely."  
"No funny business, you two," Gandalf lectured. "Bilbo needs _actual_ rest. No straining, physical activity until tomorrow at the earliest."

Each having their own reasons for wanting to leave Bilbo on his own, Fili and Bofur went along with pretense of getting lunch despite having recently eaten. The dwarrows and Gandalf shuffled away, allowing Bilbo to eat in peace.  
"Bo?" Bilbo called after him.

Bofur stayed behind at Bilbo's request. He looked at the hobbit, annoyed with how much it pleased him that Bilbo was awake and aware, albeit a bit peaked. 

"That was quite something, knowing so much about the meaning of the braid," Bilbo said, smiling shyly.  
Despite the flutter Bilbo's smile gave him, Bofur simply shrugged. "Just comes from knowing the old songs."  
"Well, it was impressive all the same."

Bilbo noticed Bofur did not grin or blush at the praise. In fact, Bofur had no smiles or the usual sweet bounce in his voice for Bilbo or Kili either one. He seemed so... _flat_. That, coupled with the hard look that seemed to cut right through him, flustered Bilbo unexpectedly.

"Look, Bo, I know yesterday--when I, um, in the creek--you were-"  
"-If you don't need anything else, I'm going to get something to eat myself," Bofur interrupted, gesturing to Bilbo's lunch to make his point.  
"Yes, yes, of course. I did not meant to keep you from your own meal."

Bofur pressed his lips together tightly and gave Bilbo a curt nod in farewell. 

Bilbo had been so stunned by Bofur cutting him off, it did not occur to him to insist upon making the heartfelt apologies he was attempting. The ache developing in his chest upon learning what Thorin's braid meant had grown much deeper. His darling Kili had forgiven him along with Gandalf and Fili. Even Thorin had forgiven him, made love to him, and gifted him with one of his precious plaits. How had he managed to damage things so badly with Bofur, who had always been his champion? Bilbo took another bite of food despite the growing unease in his stomach. It was as flavorless as sawdust in his mouth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continued and effusive "thank yous!"


	18. Getting Nowhere Fast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bofur continues to be irritated, Bilbo and Kili continue to be confused, Thorin continues to be broken, Fili continues to be awesome, and Gandalf continues to be 500% done.

Gandalf and Bofur sat pensive at the table while Fili and Kili talked about Thorin. 

"Should I go see him?" Kili asked. "He said he wanted to leave us be, but Bo and Gandalf made it sound like more than that. I don't know what we should do."  
Fili shook his head. "I think if you speak to him, it should be you and Bilbo together, but I do not know if confronting him is the best course of action."  
"I just don't understand, Fee," Kili said morosely.  
Fili squeezed his brother's shoulder. "I know. Neither do I. I swear, the only place most of Thorin's actions make sense is in his own mind."

Gandalf nearly barked a laugh at the truth in Fili's statement. He wanted to press in on his own temples until the bones gave way for as frustrated as he was with Thorin. A happy occasion was turned into a mess and into a bigger mess besides. If a suicide attempt and a cancelled wedding hadn't been enough, Thorin sneaking in for midnight sex with then dramatically mourning a living lover were adding to the complications! Gandalf had not been walking the roads of Middle Earth for all these lifetimes of men simply to get woven up in the romantic foibles of a group of dwarrows and a hobbit, yet here he was sitting in the middle of it all. He sighed to himself. 

Bofur stewed. Fili was accepting it all so casually. All it took was for Kili to be fine and Fili somehow was, too. Knowing how Fili was with his brother, Bofur could understand his behavior a little more than Kili's. Aside from worrying about Thorin, Kili was happily flitting about the kitchen as though Bilbo hadn't almost died, as though Thorin hadn't fucked Kili's betrothed hoarse, as though the past couple days had not happened at all! Kili's only concern seemed to be for Thorin, for the very person who had nearly destroyed everything. How could Kili seem so unaffected when Bofur's world had been upended by it all and Bilbo wasn't even his Chosen?

"Bo, do you want a plate or a bowl?" Kili asked.  
"Nothing to eat for me. I'm waiting for Fili," Bofur replied, emotionless.  
Kili gestured toward Fili with a plate, implying he same question. "Fee?"  
Fili glanced toward Bofur, who was obviously done being there for the time being.  
"Neither. We ate at the Dragon before we came in. I thought I'd be ready for food again but I'm not yet quite hobbit enough, it seems," Fili said.  
Kili shrugged. "Suit yourselves."

The unspoken communication between Fili and Bofur was not lost on Kili. His own tension with Fili had dissipated after their afternoon talk and Fili seemed genuinely happy Kili and Bilbo were back together. Bofur had not come around, though, and Kili could tell Bofur would be much happier anywhere that Kili wasn't. As Kili suspected, it was not long before Fili made their apologies and left the house again. 

"I'm going to leave the two of you to get some rest as well," Gandalf said. "Make sure he rests this time."

*****

"You're brooding," Fili said to Bofur as they walked.  
Bofur muttered, "Not brooding."  
"He said broodily," Fili teased.  
"Fine, so I'm brooding! In less than a day, Bilbo goes from bawling and flinging himself in a creek to napping with his betrothed again as though nothing happened."  
"You don't know what their day might have been like."  
"You seem awful calm about this after what Kili and Thorin put him through! Put us all through! Have you so quickly forgotten your horror and your tears as Gandalf carried him back to the house? Because I haven't."  
"You do not think Kili wasn't horrified? Terrified?"  
"He and Thorin were why Bilbo was there in the first place."  
"Not by choice! And I do believe Bilbo was one of the voices moaning in ecstasy through the door before it all went to shit. He is not blameless."  
"I know," Bofur mumbled.  
"I know you know," Fili sighed. "Don't think I haven't noticed you avoiding him, too. This isn't like you, Bo."

Bofur shrugged, but said no more. Fili did not press him, either. He figured Bofur's encounter with Thorin had been enough of an argument for the day. Fili knew Bofur was practical and his affection for Bilbo and Kili ran deep. He was confident Bofur would come around once he had a couple hours to get past the surprise of the reconciliation. Fili reasoned that since he helped Kili work toward his conclusion on the matter, he was not as shocked. Rather, he was more relieved than anything that Bilbo relented so quickly. 

*****

As promised, Kili went back to the bedroom after lunch and stretched out next to Bilbo for a nap.  
Bilbo hummed contentedly. "I thought I had ruined all my chances of being with you like this again."  
Kili nuzzled against him. "Hardly. I was just as worried, myself. Maybe more."

Kili drew invisible shapes against Bilbo's breastbone while they relaxed together. Bilbo spoke again after several moments.

"I've done something awful to Bofur, I think," he said.  
"You and me both."  
"Do you know what it is you've done?"  
"He was cross with me from the moment we returned with you unconscious. There was a brief reprieve when we went to dinner that night, but it didn't last. My thought is he is angry with the role I played in upsetting you so thoroughly."  
"If it is true he was worried on my behalf, why is he irritated and distant with me? I tried to speak to him when you left to bring them dinner and he was short with me. I wanted to apologize but he said he wanted to go eat."  
"He didn't eat, though," Kili said. "Fili spoke, he listened, and they left to go see Bifur."  
"That does not make me feel much better," Bilbo said glumly. "I'm incredibly lucky you love me enough to forgive me. I've nearly destroyed everything else, it seems."  
Kili brought Bilbo's hand to his mouth and kissed it. "Bo loves you....perhaps even as much as you love him."

Bilbo quickly glanced down at Kili. The dwarf smiled up at him guilelessly. Bilbo returned the smile with a soft one of his own and ducked in for a kiss.

"But there is no one I love as much as I love you, Kee." 

*****

"I need to speak with Thorin and I believe I had best do it alone," Fili said to Bofur. "Will you and Bifur be working on the bed today?"  
"I've not the mood for it," Bofur said.  
"We're going to fall behind schedule," Fili warned.  
"Fee..."  
"Please, Bo? You don't have to do any of the details today if you don't have the heart for it. You could just sand down those new pieces. I'll meet you in the workshop when I'm done with Thorin."  
Bofur sighed heavily with resignation. "It's no favor to me that you realize I can't resist you. I'll meet you there."  
Fili grinned and kissed Bofur. "How about this? If you're still upset, we'll stay out until after dinner. I imagine they will go to bed pretty early tonight on Gandalf's advice. He might even give Bilbo something to aid his sleep again."  
Bofur forced a smile for Fili. "Deal."  
Fili kissed him again and left in the direction of the inn.

Thinking of Bilbo's last magical sleep squeezed Bofur's heart. He could still hear Bilbo asking for a kiss as though he were there. Feeling melancholy, he dragged himself to the workshop.

*****

There was a soft knock on Thorin's door.

"Who calls?" Thorin asked.  
"It is me," Fili replied. 

Thorin tilted his head back and sighed. He was far too fragile to fight another war today, but he would not deny Fili entry. 

"Come in."

Fili was surprised by Thorin's appearance. He sat hunched in over in a chair, defeated. It looked as though he hadn't slept and he had obviously been crying. Thorin's hair fell forward alongside his face, so Fili could not yet tell where the braid had been cut. His first instinct was to embrace him, but he did not move. 

"Have you come to lecture me, too? You just missed Gandalf coming through here and speaking to me as though I were a child," Thorin scoffed.

Fili felt a lump form in his throat. Despite the arguments they had and the hard truths Fili himself had hurled at him, it pained a part of Fili that such a brave warrior-king should be brought low by so many. Although Thorin created many of his problems, Fili's familial pride felt as though Thorin deserved better. 

Said Fili, "I've come because my king is grieving."  
Thorin stared at Fili, stunned. "Your king?"

Thorin's raw expression was stronger than Fili's control. Fili knelt in front of Thorin and took one of his hands in both of his. 

He nodded, feeling tears on the brink. "No matter how angry I get, you will always be my king."

Thorin leaned forward until their foreheads touched. His clasped the back of Fili's head with his free hand. Fili fought his tears as Thorin's flowed. He moved to smooth the locks out of Thorin's face and felt the prickle of hair sheared short against Thorin's left temple. Fili leaned back to look at it further, thumbing in shock over the space where one of Thorin's long-treasured braids had hung for likely a century or more. 

Now Fili did cry.

"What have you done?" Fili whispered.  
Thorin's fingers gently encircled Fili's trembling wrist. "What I needed to do."  
"But what does it mean?"  
"It means I love Bilbo more than I can express. I love them both, but I cannot be near them. It is impossible for me to maintain any sort of contact with them at all, so I must mourn them. I mourn them as my most treasured dead, even as they still live. It is with all the love in my heart and the death of my deepest hopes that I leave them to be together."  
"They are confused as to what you meant when you left them that plait. They mean to come and ask you."  
"No! You musn't let them! I have not the strength, Fili. If they do not understand, make them understand," Thorin said desperately.  
"They will be utterly heartbroken. You would not give them the chance to say goodbye?"  
"It took everything in me to make that decision. This is what is best for them. I cannot see them again," Thorin said sadly.

Fili knew Thorin was in pain and he did not want to add to it. He had to control the urge to shout sense into him, because Fili thought Thorin was putting himself through this needlessly. 

Careful with his tone, Fili said, " _You_ made that decision, though. They did not. Did you ask them what they wanted? I know Bilbo was rather furious with you but I do not think this is an outcome he would welcome. Would you not allow them an opinion in what they think is best for themselves?"  
"They may think whatever they want, but they do not know the full truth," Thorin explained, weeping outright. "I've examined myself more ruthlessly in the past week than I have in the past year. My delusions have fallen away one by one, some of them taking my very flesh with them. I know I no longer can pretend I could accept anything from Bilbo if it did not include his love, and his love is nothing for which I can ask. Kili is the one for him. I've seen it with my eyes and I've felt it within Bilbo's...well, I've felt it. I have lost. It is over."

Fili rose to awkwardly embrace Thorin in his chair. Thorin moved forward to the edge to cling to him tightly, starved for both comfort and touch. 

"Bilbo loves you so much. They both do. It would devastate them to hear you speak this way. Would you, could you reconsider?"  
"I can't," Thorin whispered. 

Fili cried with Thorin on behalf of his brothers, holding onto the king until his knees went numb. 

*****

Bilbo and Kili roused from their rest well before dinner. It was a good thing, too, because knocks on the door began soon after they woke. One by one, the hobbits Gandalf had kept at bay for the past day came calling with savories, sweets, and well-wishes. Ori, Chadham, and Thodora arrived, too, and Bilbo received a hug from Ori that lifted his furry feet right off the ground.

"I was beginning to think you did not want me around, the way they were putting me off!" Ori said.  
"I'm sorry and I'm wonderfully glad you are here now, my friend. If it makes you feel better, I've only seen the dwarrows that live here, Thorin, and Gandalf since yesterday morning."  
"I suppose I can forgive you, seeing as you are one of my favorite hobbits," Ori said with a grin. His eyes caught the treats piling up as a result of the well-wishers. "Although forgiveness is more easily granted if you share a slice or two of that cake, there."  
Bilbo laughed loudly. "You may have the whole thing!"

Kili would not let Bilbo help with dinner, citing Gandalf's insistence that he continue resting as reason enough. Since they were staying for the meal, Thodora and Chadham helped Kili while Bilbo and Ori talked at the dining table. 

Bifur stopped by for a look-in. Bilbo noted Bofur was conspicuously absent, though he did not ask after him. They asked Bifur to stay for dinner and he agreed, buoying Bilbo's hopes that perhaps Bofur and Fili would be joining them. Gandalf arrived just before the table was set and they added him a place. Fili and Bofur did not show for either dinner or dessert.

Gandalf ushered the guests out at a reasonable hour, citing Bilbo's need for peace after the "accident." He reminded Bilbo and Kili once more that their bed activities should include nothing more rigorous than sleep.

Kili washed up and joined Bilbo in bed, stripping down like always. Bilbo cuddled into him with a throaty moan. Cuddles quickly became heated kisses. Bilbo's roaming fingers wrapped around Kili's prick. 

"We can't," Kili broke away, breathless. "You heard what Gandalf said! Stressing your body is not good for you. We'll make love tomorrow night and not a moment earlier."  
"I know, but I need to be close to you. At this time last night, I did not think I'd ever hold you again." Bilbo sprinkled suggestive kisses across Kili's jaw and down his neck. "Please, don't make me stop."

"Okay," Kili relented. "We can be close--but with the bedding between us."

Kili pulled at the blanket until there was enough to tuck between them. Bilbo's skin was far too tempting. 

He said, "Nothing vigorous. I will not risk another episode like you had this morning."

Bilbo responded with an enthusiastic kiss, rubbing Kili through the fabric. They played like that for a while, rubbing and grinding until they were both panting. Kili finally had to call it off with the last of his will for Bilbo's own good. After a few minutes of wheedling and subsequent grumbling, Bilbo settled down in his arms. 

*****

True to his word, Fili did not lead Bofur home until the others were in bed. He had not expected Bofur's sulk to continue this long, but he had stopped making attempts to change his mind for the time being.

Bofur undressed for bed ahead of Fili. He watched as his lover shed his clothes and revealed his skin, admiring the downy, golden hair that dusted it in several places. Fili's piercings reflected the candle flame, catching Bofur's eye. 

"You're staring at me," Fili said.  
"Aye, and who would blame me?" Bofur drawled.  
"I thought you were upset."  
"My prick still works. Bet my arsehole does, too."  
Fili giggled and climbed on the bed. "You're sure about that, are you?"  
Bofur pulled Fili on top of him. "Could use vigorous testing."

*****

The sounds of passion echoing down the hall woke Kili and Bilbo.

"At least they are getting along with each other," Bilbo noted. 

He squirmed. Bofur's moans and Fili's shouts were hardening his prick again. Kili stilled his hips with a firm hand. 

The sex noises had subsided and Bilbo was starting to doze again when Kili spoke.

"I should probably tell you Fee and Bo know we shared our bed with Thorin."  
"I figured as much would come out after all the things that transpired."  
"It is not common knowledge. As far as I'm aware, only Fili and Bofur know, along with whomever Thorin tells. All anyone else knows is you had an accident."  
"I do not think Thorin will tell anyone," Bilbo said.  
"True. Thorin is barely talking to _us_."  
Bilbo yawned. "We need to get to the bottom of that, find out what he meant by leaving that braid."  
"I'll talk to Fili and ask him if he saw Thorin tonight. We'll get this straightened out before the wedding," Kili said.  
Bilbo hummed sleepily. 

*****

"Harder, Fee. Fuck me as hard you can," Bofur gritted through his teeth.

Fili had yet to see Bofur this raw and wild. Bofur all but demanded to be penetrated and, on his hands and knees, he was pushing back on Fili harder than Fili could give it to him. Fili didn't bother to caution him about pain. Bofur knew what he asked. Fili slid out and moved him up toward the headboard.

"Hold on," Fili hissed. 

Bofur braced his hands along the top of the wood. Fili pushed back in and closed his fingers over Bofur's. Using the headboard as leverage for the both of them, Fili pounded into Bofur relentlessly. Bofur gurgled and keened as Fili nearly tore him apart. He had been riding along a crest of pleasure and pain when his orgasm unexpectedly slammed into him with a howl. Unable to move his hands, he spurted against the headboard. He watched it drip down and stored the memory for a later wank. 

Fili was shocked Bofur finished, but it was welcome. Fili had been fighting against his own orgasm for several moments, the intense friction from the brutal pace being difficult to fight. Still gripping Bofur's fingers, Fili pitched forward and bit into Bofur's shoulder while he came. 

"That was new," Fili panted after a while. He pulled away and chuckled when he saw the evidence of Bofur's pleasure on the headboard.  
Bofur grinned. "Who are you tellin'?"  
Fili handed him a rag to clean up. "What was it like?"  
"There wasn't a lot of build up, not like what we saw in Bilbo's room. It was intense from the moment you had me up against the wood, but I didn't know I was going to come until I was coming. It was different than usual. It almost hurt a little, and it seemed to come from somewhere else."  
"Somewhere else? Like your foot?" Fili joked.  
"Listen, smart-arse," Bofur said, pinning Fili to the bed, "I'm simply going to have to show you sometime since I cannot explain it well enough for His Highness."  
"Ooh, I like that," Fili crooned. "I should have made you call me that while I was fucking you."  
Bofur licked his lips. "I confess, it sort of turns me on that the prince and future king of Erebor's semen is dripping down my leg. I daresay it wouldn't take much convincing for me to call you that in bed."  
Fili pulled Bofur's mouth to his own.  
"Look who's full of surprises tonight," he said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort of weird when 3300+ words feels "short." 
> 
> Thank you for all your continued support, my loves <3


	19. To Love And To Keep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine's smut and fluff with the requisite plotty angst. I'm thinking you might like this one.

Bilbo promised himself he would try to speak to Bofur at breakfast and find out what was bothering him, but he was denied the chance. Fili was waiting for them alone at the table when they got up for the day.

"Is Bo here?" Bilbo asked.  
Fili gave Bilbo a sympathetic look. "He went on ahead."  
Bilbo sat with a disappointed thud. "He's avoiding me, isn't he?"  
"I cannot speak for him," Fili said.  
"But it's obvious that's what he is doing. I don't understand, I mean, I--we've just had a couple of the worst days of our lives. Kili and I are getting married but we still have to work through the damage I caused. The, uh, other things I've done are not easily mended, either. There's something going on with Thorin that I can't wrap my mind around and, well, Kili and I _need_ our family, Fee--adopted as well as blood. I can't handle Bofur ignoring me, not right now. Tell me, what did I do? How can I fix it?" Bilbo begged, nearing tears.  
Fili reached across the table and squeezed Bilbo's hand. "Bo will discuss it when he is ready but likely not much before. For such an affable fellow, he's got a stubborn streak a league wide. Don't dwell overmuch yet."  
"So you aren't going to tell me?" Bilbo asked.  
Fili replied, "It is not my place, Bee."  
"Why have you stayed behind, then, if not to talk to us about Bo?" Kili asked.

Fili squeezed Bilbo's hand again, clasped his hands in front of him on the table, and took a deep breath.

"Because I need to tell you about Thorin," Fili said gravely. "I visited him yesterday and I can at least lend you some understanding about that. In fact, he has asked me to relay a plea."

Fili told them of his visit with Thorin and left nothing out, from the way Thorin sat in his chair to the tone of his voice.

"Where does he come up with these ideas?" Bilbo chuckled. "I was nearly frightened for a moment by his letter, but this new plan of his is simply too outrageous to work."  
Fili was aghast at how lightly Bilbo was taking this news. "He is serious," he said firmly.  
"He's always serious," Bilbo protested. "Always serious and look how it has turned out every time! I'll be surprised if he doesn't show up tonight for dinner!"  
Fili insisted, "You weren't there. You do not _know_. This is real, Bilbo. You've got one of his bloody damn braids on your bedside table and you think he's coming for dinner? He is mourning you both as though you died, do you understand? He means never to see you again."  
"So we _are_ dead to him, then," Kili confirmed shakily.  
Fili bit his lip and nodded. "But Bo wasn't wrong. This isn't disowning or done out of anger. It is the most selfless thing he can think to do and it is because he loves the two of you so much."

Reality was sinking in and Bilbo felt icy panic crystallize down his spine.

"But it isn't selfless, not at all," Bilbo said, voice rising the more upset he grew. "It isn't selfless to declare us dead and move on without bothering to speak with us!"  
Kili added, "Or allowing us to say anything in parting."  
"I'm sorry," Fili said miserably.  
Bilbo crossed his arms. "Well, I'm not accepting this. He loves us too much to be around us? Then I love him too much to let him get away with it. I'm marching over there right this moment-"  
"Bilbo, you cannot!" Fili exclaimed. "You must not! He begged me with tears in his eyes! I don't agree with this course of action and I hope he will see the senselessness of it before they caravan back to Erebor, but please, for him, for me...leave him be."  
Kili gathered Bilbo into his arms and attempted not to cry. "How is it possible that I will never see him again, Fee?"  
Fili walked around to their side of the table and put an arm around both of them. "Maybe we'll be able to figure out something," he murmured in an attempt to comfort.

The short patch of hair on Thorin's head haunted Fili, though. Something of great magnitude drove him to that. The only person who would be able to convince him to change his vow would be Bilbo, and Thorin was adamant about Bilbo not calling on him.

 

*****

Fili left to catch up with Bofur, leaving Bilbo and Kili stunned in his wake. The terrible news had the benefit of shocking Bilbo out of his worries about Bofur for the moment.

"What are we going to do?" Bilbo asked.  
"I don't know. What _can_ we do?"  
"Not much if I'm not to speak to him ever again. Do you think Fili is right? Do you think he'll realize what a terrible idea this is?"  
Kili kissed the top of Bilbo's head. "I hope so."

Bilbo made himself eat, though it was difficult with his stomach in knots. After breakfast, he and Kili had to resume wedding preparations. They had taken a couple days off and who knew what rumors had spread amongst their vendors in wake of what the locals only knew as "the accident?" They nearly had their cakes cancelled when Kili merely went to visit his mother! He told Kili as much and insisted they visit as many of them as they could today.

"No, you don't," Kili said. "If Gandalf thought you were too fragile for sex last night, you are too fragile to go traipsing all over Hobbiton and Bywater. Write letters to any vendors you simply must contact today and I'll enlist Ori and his hobbits to help deliver them."

Bilbo looked up, eyes wide as though Kili had plucked an apple from thin air. A grin spread across his face.

"You are a genius! Oh, I'm marrying the smartest dwarf West of Erebor!" he shouted excitedly.  
Kili grinned back, puzzled. "What? What did I say?"  
"A letter! I can't visit Thorin, so I'm going to write him a letter and straighten all this nonsense out!" Bilbo replied.  
"You think he'd bother reading it if he's so done with us?"  
"Oh, a letter is the sort of thing that is right up his road! He might set it aside at first, but his curiosity would get to him sooner or later...plus you know how fond he is of letters."  
Kili exhaled in relief. "That takes a bit of the weight off my heart, but maybe wait until tonight or perhaps the morning? If he is as ruined as Fili said he was, perhaps a little more time?"  
"We do not have much of it to spare, but I'll try to be prudent," Bilbo promised.

 

*****

Fili and Bofur spent a large portion of their day in the workshop. Bofur was uncharacteristically quiet, though it was not Fili who irritated him. The idea of giving Bilbo and Kili a bed had lost its shine in the wake of the incident with Thorin and its aftermath. He and Fili had devised ways to best optimize it for the couple's more carnal activities. Before, Fili and Bofur had giggled like children with glee and anticipation as they plotted and crafted, but now the fun had gone out of it.

"Bee asked about you today," Fili said.

Bofur grunted in response.

"Thinks you're angry with him."

Bofur grunted again.

"He's very troubled by it. I could only distract him by talking about Thorin."  
"Of course. Thorin," Bofur said under his breath. He knew Fili heard him.  
"It _is_ a pretty big deal, Thorin vowing never to speak to them again. Could you imagine?"  
"I might be fairly happy never having to speak to Thorin again," Bofur muttered.  
Fili chucked a small scrap of wood toward Bofur's feet. "I mean someone else! Someone for whom you cared like Kee and Bee care for Thorin. What if Kee never spoke to you again? Or Bifur? Or _Bee_?"

Bofur stopped sanding and looked up. Fili knew he had stricken a nerve. He met Bofur's gaze and walked over to him, gently placing his hands on Bofur's shoulders.

"You don't have to like Thorin to understand how much he means to the people you love."  
Bofur set down his sanding. "I do understand, no matter how mad it drives me. In fact, I would say it is because I understand that it drives me mad."  
Fili kissed his cheek. "I know."  
Bofur pulled Fili's forehead against his. "Please, Fee, can we...can we be done with the bed for today? I simply don't have it in me to spend the rest of the afternoon thinking about Bilbo, Kili, and Thorin. I would much rather do something else."  
"Such as what?"  
"Such as anything," Bofur replied, pained.  
Fili closed his eyes. "Okay, my dearest. If that is what you need, that is what we'll do."

 

*****

Bilbo and Kili were nuzzling in Bilbo's armchair in the parlour when Fili and Bofur came home that evening, having missed dinner yet again. Bofur barely stopped to look at them, continuing down the hall to bathe. Fili paused for a moment.

"How do you feel this evening?" he asked Bilbo.  
"More or less myself, albeit a little heartsick," he looked toward the hall where Bofur stalked off.  
Fili followed Bilbo's gaze. "With all we spoke of this morning, I have no doubt of that, but physically? Are you out of the woods, so to speak?"  
Bilbo nodded. "Yes."  
"Good," Fili replied.  
"What of you? Did you two have dinner?" Kili asked.  
"Yes, we ate at the Dragon tonight."  
"Home for breakfast in the morning?" Bilbo asked hopefully.  
Fili gave Bilbo a little smile. "I believe so."  
"I'm glad," Bilbo said, a touch of relief in his voice.  
"Well, I suppose I should get to washing up," Fili said. He moved toward the hall.  
"Sleep well, Fee," Kili called after him.  
After Fili disappeared, Kili said, "I hope we can mend this issue with Bo, soon. I find myself rather missing my brother."  
"Me, too. I'm missing both of them. This is the sort of thing I was trying to avoid by not taking Bo to bed."  
"You're having to deal with it, anyway. It is a shame you didn't at least have the fun first," Kili remarked.  
Bilbo hummed in amusement. "Isn't it though?"

Bilbo fiddled with Kili's fingers twined in his and stared into the fire.

"Come back to me," Kili said. "We had a lovely dinner and I've been enjoying this cuddle while the food settled. Don't go retreating into your head where I can't follow."  
Bilbo shook his head and furrowed his brow. "I don't know how I've managed to ruin so many things in such little time. I hurt you so terribly the Valar interceded, I've damaged Thorin badly enough that it is easier for him to pretend I'm dead, and one of the happiest, kindest dwarrows I know will barely look me in the eyes. At least with you and Thorin, I realize the horrible things I did and can try to make amends, but Bo? I have no idea what to do about him."  
Kili kissed Bilbo's hand. "Ask him."  
"I've tried!" Bilbo countered. "He runs from me before I can get a word in edgewise."  
"Well, then, corner him and lay a soul-kiss on him. That ought to stun him still long enough to talk to you," Kili offered.  
"Or get me slapped!"  
"Worth a shot," Kili joked.  
Bilbo turned around and straddled Kili's lap. "Would it work on you?"  
"It will take more than your kisses to stun me silent. I'm a little jaded, you know."  
"I don't like you silent, anyway. I like it better when I can hear you," Bilbo flirted.  
Kili pulled Bilbo closer and whispered in his ear, "Make me scream, then."

*****  
Kili devoured Bilbo, pulling their clothes off in haste.

"I've hated waiting, particularly since I thought at one point I might not ever have this again," Kili said in between kisses.  
"Me as well. I've been about to split apart with want for you."  
"By my count, you are at least one orgasm ahead of me, maybe more if Thorin paid attention to his lessons," Kili murmured.  
"He-"  
"-I don't want to know," Kili said darkly. "We'll simply say as punishment for your indiscretions, I get to finish twice before you."

Bilbo dropped his head back in giddy anticipation. Kili dove for his throat and sucked into it roughly.

"T-that only seems fair," Bilbo managed to say.  
"I am still angry with you, you know. I might not be kind," Kili warned.  
"I am so thankful for your naked skin against mine once again, I won't care."  
"I'm going to imprint and mark you thoroughly. I want no question in your mind as to which dwarf will be marrying. Other hands may explore your body but it is my name branded on your soul."  
Bilbo moaned. "I'm utterly yours, Kee."  
"You will be when we're done."

 

*****

Bofur and Fili took care of each other with their mouths in the bath, lifting Bofur's dour mood quite effectively. Sitting on their bed, Fili smoothed through Bofur's damp hair, the dwarf nearly purring beneath his hands.

"Shall I plait it for you tonight?" Fili asked.  
"Think I'd like to wait until morning so it can dry fully. You?"  
"I'll do the same. I like my hair loose when yours is, too."  
Bofur turned around and wound a golden tendril around his finger. "Your hair down like this reminds me of the night you confessed your love for me. Always makes my heart soft and my cock hard."  
Fili laughed. "A romantic to the last, yes?"  
Bofur pushed him back onto the bed. "'Til the end, I believe the deal was."

They kissed hungrily.

 

*****

Kili had Bilbo on his knees, face in the pillow, hands pinned behind his back. Bilbo was covered in love bites and groaning periodically into the pillow while Kili fucked him. Kili pulled all the way out and pushed back in a half dozen times before Bilbo voiced protest.

"That's too much stretch," Bilbo whined.  
"Too much stretch, with merely one cock inside you?" Kili teased dangerously.  
Bilbo drew up as much sass as he could manage in his present compromised position. "You know that was different than taking the head over and over!"  
"Is it truly uncomfortable?" Kili asked in a different, tender tone.  
"Yes," Bilbo replied.  
Kili slipped inside Bilbo again, pumping him more deeply. His bravado returned. "I suppose I might have to find something else to excite me."  
Bilbo groaned in pleasure.  
"Better?"  
Bilbo panted, "Oh yes."

Kili held Bilbo's wrists with one hand and used his thumb to push down on the base of his cock. Bilbo wailed.

"Is that the spot, my jewel?"  
Bilbo whimpered in the affirmative.  
"The one that will make you come without additional aid?"

Bilbo whimpered again and Kili kept pace until Bilbo's breaths came quickly. He stopped abruptly.

"Well, I can't have that, can I? The deal was I get two and I've not had so much as one yet," Kili said mockingly.  
Bilbo groaned in frustration. "Get on with it, then!"  
"I don't think you're in the position to be bossy right now, Bee. I _am_ anxious to come, though, so you're in luck."

Kili moved again, shifting his thrust to one he knew brought Bilbo pleasure but could not bring him release. Kili could not see Bilbo's face but the hobbit was grinning like a fool. He thought he had ruined this forever. What Kili was doing was driving him mad, but it was a far cry from the punishment of separation. As a matter of fact, Bilbo did not consider this punishment at all.

Kili moaned with every breath, sounds increasing in speed and matching his stroke until he surged forward in rapture. He pumped his hips in deep thrusts a few more times, lifting Bilbo's knees fully off the bed at one point. Collapsing onto Bilbo's back, he kissed over a love mark and caught his breath. He toppled off Bilbo and onto the bed.

"That's one," he said.

 

*****

Bofur specifically asked Fili to claim him again that night. Fili remembered Kili mentioning that he and Bilbo often bickered over who got to be taken and Fili had quickly learned why. For it being the part of which Fili had been most frightened, having Bofur inside his body rapidly turned into a favorite activity. He frequently teased and baited Bofur so that he was the one being penetrated. He suspected Bofur knew exactly what FIli was doing and why, but Bofur never disappointed. With all they had been through lately, Fili did not begrudge Bofur his recent requests. He understood Bofur needed the closeness and the comfort of their bond--particularly after feeling the sting of Bilbo's rejection. Fili supposed it would have hurt no matter what, but to be rejected for _Thorin_...well, even Fili felt that sting and he did not have the magnitude of feelings for Bilbo that Bofur had.

Fili nudged Bofur onto his side and held his leg up, nestling in behind to slide inside him.

"Rough again?" Fili whispered.  
Bofur shook his head.

Fili held him as close as he could and pulled the hair off Bofur's nape so he could kiss it. Bofur lowered his leg and the two of them rolled together, softly sighing with bliss.

 

*****

Kili pushed Bilbo onto his back. Bilbo was achingly hard, the head of his cock darkening from the denial of release. Kili flicked his tongue at the tip to taste the arousal pooling there. He kissed, bit, and sucked along the length of Bilbo's torso, only occasionally brushing Bilbo's erection with the skin of his stomach or the wayward side of a knee. Bilbo's frustrated mewls, arches, and twitches had Kili ready again quickly.

Kili oiled himself and made himself comfortable on the bed.  
"This round, I think you should have to do the work. I also want your hands where I can see them."  
"I can finish when you do this time. You said," Bilbo reminded him.  
Kili smirked. "Don't I need to be marked again, too?"

Bilbo lowered himself onto Kili's cock, the following groan being one of both pleasure and frustration.

"But you aren't so much as stretched yet!" Bilbo whined.  
"I suppose if you didn't _want_ to reclaim me after all this unpleasantness..." Kili sighed, pretending to be dramatic.  
Bilbo fell forward, supporting himself against Kili's chest. "You do not fight fair."  
"Complain about it after you finish in my arse," Kili countered.

Bilbo's rhythm seemed to increase in pace each time he stroked. He moved faster and faster with Kili clutching onto his thighs and groaning in delight.

"Slow down, I can't hold on," Kili panted.  
"Hmm, not my problem," Bilbo replied airily, pinching Kili's nipple laced with the ring. "Our deal wasn't that this had to be lengthy."  
Kili let out a laugh that turned into an extended moan. "Now who is not fighting fair?"  
Bilbo fucked him harder. "I learn quickly."

Kili's retort died on his tongue with only nonsense sounds rising from his throat as he came. Bilbo tipped his head back, his longer hair tickling his back pleasantly. He closed his eyes and rode out Kili's spasms, immensely grateful for the bond flowing through him. Though he was aroused to nearly bursting, he would gladly take nights of such denial if it meant Kili would still fill him.

 

*****

Bofur lost track of how long he and Fili rocked against each other with Fili's heart pounding against his back and their hands threaded tightly together. Fili did not rush him and he was not in any hurry for this tenderness to end. They did not do their usual dirty chattering; they barely spoke at all. They simply shared shuddering breaths and pleasured sounds. Fili peppered kisses along Bofur's neck and back, occasionally claiming his mouth when Bofur craned his head back, needing that deeper connection. He could feel echoes of the bond he shared with Fili from head to toe, diffusing slowly through his body and easing his emotional hurts one by one. Last night, he needed to be _shattered_ , broken in body to go with how he felt inside. Tonight, Fili was putting him back together beautifully.

"I love you," Bofur whispered.

 

*****

Bilbo worked Kili open with what he considered to be near-heroic patience, considering how insistently his cock was throbbing between his legs. He was surprised he hadn't simply finished with the brush of a thigh, he was wound so tightly.

"I hope you aren't expecting this to be one for the ages," Bilbo said. "I'm about to come simply slicking myself."  
"Like the Lover's Wine," Kili quipped.  
"I don't think I'll stay as hard afterward," Bilbo joked back.  
He tucked a pillow under Kili's hips.  
"Face to face, eh?" noted Kili.  
Bilbo smiled. "It seemed a bit fitting for the requested reclaiming."  
The joy remained in Kili's eyes but the smile left his face in favor of a more serious expression.  
"I'm utterly yours," he said, echoing Bilbo's earlier words.

 

*****

With Bofur pressing back against him more steadily, Fili twisted himself in small increments until the arm that had been under Bofur was his own again. As he adjusted his body, so did Bofur, and soon his lover had Fili draped across his back, fucking him into the bed without missing a stroke. Their whimpers grew into urgent moans, languorous strokes giving way to more purposeful thrusting.

"Bo, are you ready to-"  
"Gods, yes, fuck me," Bofur growled.

Bofur lifted Fili with his hips to get a hand underneath himself. Fili loved how strong Bofur was. Fili held on closely as he moved faster. He kept his chest to Bofur's back, unwilling to sacrifice the closeness for a faster orgasm. Soon, Bofur was shouting into the pillow and fluttering around Fili's cock. Fili was not far behind, pulsing and trembling. He relaxed onto Bofur's back, giving no indication he was about to move any time soon. Bofur did not protest. Instead, he sighed blissfully and tugged the pillow further down to settle in.

 

*****

"I'm going to come," Kili warned, stroking his cock frantically.  
"Me too," Bilbo said breathlessly.

Bilbo toppled first, amazed he managed longer than a couple thrusts with Kili hot and filthy beneath him. His orgasm was so gratifying, it cramped his toes for several seconds. Kili gave way to his own pleasure with a whine, clutching at Bilbo's biceps.

"What a wonder you are," Bilbo managed to say. "I can't believe you almost beat me to it two times in."  
"I told you dwarrows my age have a lot of, um, _energy_. And semen," wisecracked Kili.  
Bilbo guffawed.  
"Is it strange how much I love to feel you laugh when you're inside me?" Kili asked.  
"No stranger than it is for me to love it when you say things like that."

Bilbo wiggled out of Kili and flopped back hard on the bed. Kili pressed against him immediately, an arm pulled close across Bilbo's chest.

"I want you to know...you're worth it," Kili said after a few quiet moments. "Everything that has happened, every tear I've shed, all the things for which you chide yourself, _all of it_ \--going practically back to the night we met. It was all worth it to be here with you, and it will never stop being worth it for me."  
Bilbo was deeply touched by Kili's words. "What brought that on?"  
"You, me, being apart. I never wanted it and I never will. Additionally, I don't know what is going to happen with Thorin or Bofur but I know you are going to beat yourself up over whatever comes to pass and think terrible things about yourself and I just...I needed you to know that, okay?"

Bilbo swallowed around the lump that had formed in his throat and exhaled raggedly.

"I'm never letting you get away again," Bilbo promised. "I'm amazingly lucky you refused to go far. I love you."  
"Marry me, then," Kili said, pulling Bilbo tighter.  
"Marry me back."  
Kili giggled and Bilbo thought it to be as pleasant as music.  
"It only seems fair," he replied.

 

*****

Bilbo came to breakfast late the next morning. He was thrilled to see Fili and Bofur were still home. Not only that, but they had risen ahead and were cooking.  
Fili asked, "Where's Kee?"  
"Sleeping in a bit," BIlbo said.  
"Made enough for you two for when you got around to getting up," Fili offered.  
"Thank you."

Bofur pointedly did not make conversation or so much as look up at Bilbo while he ate. He excused himself from the table shortly thereafter. Morosely, Bilbo watched him leave. Fili shoved his last couple bits of sausage in his mouth and stood.

"Leave it when Kili's done and I'll wash up in a bit," Fili said.

 

*****

Fili intercepted Bofur in their room.

"Exactly how long do you plan on punishing Bilbo and Kili?"  
"What do you mean?" Bofur asked innocently.

Fili fixed him with a look.

Bofur shrugged. "I don't know."  
"You know they have punished themselves enough for all of us. You don't have to do it, too."  
"You weren't there when I fished Bilbo out of the water! I was lucky I found him at all."

Bofur's haunted expression was too much for Fili. He reached out and took Bofur's hands.

"I know you love him and that is okay. I realize you are also still jealous of what happened with Thorin. If we are going to be honest with each other, I will admit that I was madly jealous of Thorin, too. I realize almost losing Bilbo was particularly terrifying for you and you should know I'm thankful and proud that you pulled him from the water. Bilbo _knows_ he made mistakes, jumped to conclusions, and hurt the people he loves. So much about the past couple days has been painful for us, but Bilbo losing his dearest friends when he needs our support hurts him, too. I've always known you loved him, Bo. Now would be a good time for him to know as well."  
"How do you mean?"  
"Let him know how it felt to almost lose him. Say the things you would have regretted not saying. Tell him how you feel, Bo--tell him he is so very loved. He needs that now more than ever."  
"I care for both of them deeply but I can't get past how I feel right now. I can't get past what happened with Thorin. I don't want to be angry but I can't seem to help it."  
Fili kissed him gently. "Just consider it. This wedding is going to be pretty awkward if you're angry at the grooms."  
Bofur huffed a halfhearted laugh. "So kiss and make up for the wedding?"  
"You are welcome to actual kisses if it serves as incentive to restoring the harmony between the four of us," Fili said.  
"I don't think Kili would appreciate you using Bilbo as bribery," Bofur said.  
"I don't think either of them would mind in the slightest. I do, however, think they would mind if this foul mood of yours persisted."

Bofur held Fili close but promised nothing. Fili's speech had moved him, but Bofur couldn't ignore his feelings any more easily than he could admit them to Bilbo.

"The four of us need each other," Fili said tenderly. "Looking back, it seems as though we always have...even when we did not realize it."

*****

Kili kissed Bilbo when he woke.

"You taste like sausage," Kili accused.  
"Fili made breakfast. There's some left for you, still."  
"Was Bo home, then? Did you get to talk to him?"  
"No," Bilbo said glumly. "He excused himself as soon as he was done eating."  
Kili shook his head in disappointment. "I can handle him being a bit salty with me for a while, but seeing you two on the outs is disconcerting. It is simply...wrong."  
Bilbo frowned and nodded.

 

*****

Kili chomped down on a piece of toast and held it in his mouth while he struggled on a boot. Fili cleaned up breakfast like he promised, Bofur having left before Bilbo had re-emerged from the bedroom with Kili.

Fili set the rag on the counter. Kili had finished off the last bite of his breakfast and put on his other boot.  
"Ready?" Fili said to Kili.  
"Ready for what?" Bilbo said.  
"Kee is borrowing me a bit for today," Fili explained.  
Bilbo looked between them. "Is that so? For what?"  
"For a secret," Kili said, grinning.  
"What sort of secret?" Bilbo pressed.  
Kili kissed Bilbo's cheek. "The sort of secret that is not for a certain hobbit to know about until the 22nd."  
Bilbo grinned. "Oh, I see! Far be it from me to get in the way of such things, then."  
"We'll be back for tea," Fili promised.  
Kili asked, "You'll be fine today, right?"  
"Oh, sure. Always something to do when one is planning a big party, you know," Bilbo said.

Kili kissed him goodbye for the morning. On their way out the door, Fili turned back to Bilbo.

"Bee? You may or may not happen to find Bofur sulking on the swell of the hill on the west side of the Mill where the big sycamore is. Not that I'm saying that is where he is, you understand."  
Bilbo nodded knowingly. "Not in the least."

*****

Kili and Fili walked toward the blacksmith's.

"A week's worth of breakfast dishes says he gets Bo to talk to him," Kili wagered.  
"A week's worth of breakfast and dinner dishes says he gets Bo to _kiss_ him," Fili replied  
Kili wrinkled his nose in distaste. "I'm not taking that bet. I hate doing dinner dishes."

*****

"May I sit?" Bilbo asked.  
Bofur shrugged, not looking up. "I don't own the earth," he said moodily.

Bilbo dropped to the ground across from him. Bofur was being petulant but Bilbo figured acknowledging his existence was an improvement. He soldiered on, hoping he could manage to bridge some of the gap between them if he could simply get some things off his chest.

Bilbo said, "I tried to thank you the other day for what you did but I took too long to say it and you were eager for your lunch. I've been told by Gandalf and Kili that I would not be here now if it weren't for you. I honestly do not know how to thank you enough."

Bofur absentmindedly picked some grass and pulled it apart, not making eye contact with Bilbo.

“You know you’ve always meant a great deal to me,” Bofur said in a tone less harsh. “I was not going to let you pass out of this world before your time if I could help it.”  
“Is that why you’ve been cross with me? Because you are upset I tried?”  
“I was sad that you tried, not angry," Bofur said, still focused on the grass he was tearing into pieces. "Well, okay, I was angry, but not about that only.”  
Bilbo asked, “Then what? I’ve felt this distance from you that we’ve not had since we were strangers. It pains me, Bo. Tell me what I did to upset you.”

Bofur's glanced at Bilbo, took a deep breath, and spoke. “I have always felt like you and I had some sort of connection, you know? When nothing beyond friendship came of it in the early days, I figured your eye had been somewhere else. I was right, because Thorin happened. Then Kili happened. I fell in love with Fili. Through it all, though, we still had our deep friendship, our battle bonds, and I loved that we could still flirt and have our fun. When you insinuated at Beorn’s that you might feel an attraction to me, too, it surprised me. You and Kili were clearly meant to be and I was not willing to give up Fili to pursue an impossible second relationship, but it helped me to know that there was something sweet and loving between us. It carried me through that difficult time with Fili. Later, when you and Kili got bold enough to tantalize, Fili and I both discovered new desires. Perhaps other dwarrows might have found them abnormal but with the two of you, they merely seemed natural. Things grew and changed between us, and suddenly impossible things did not seem so impossible after all. I thought I wasn't in it alone, but then Thorin came back and made it more impossible than ever.”

Bilbo tried to follow, but he got lost somewhere around the "discovering desires" part. 

“Bo, I don’t know what you are saying.”  
Bofur sighed wearily. “I was shocked to find out you and Kili had shared your bed, but I was more deeply hurt that it was not with us...me in particular. That you chose _him_ over the two of us.”  
“But Fili is Kili’s brother!” Bilbo argued.  
“And Thorin is his uncle. Besides, Fili could have spent his effort on you, specifically, if it bothered them.”  
Shocked, Bilbo asked, "You would let your lover touch me?”  
Bofur's eyes locked with Bilbo's. “Mahal, Bee. You and Kee are the only ones I would want him to touch.”  
“Oh, Bo,” Bilbo said, finally understanding.

There was silence between them for several moments. Bilbo found himself at a rare loss for words. He glanced over at Bofur sitting with his knees raised and spread, hands clasped between them. The dwarf looked off into the distance, likely as lost in thought as Bilbo was. Bilbo had not understood the extent to which Bofur would be affected by Thorin going to bed with them. Thinking back on it with new insight, it made sense. Bofur had shown Bilbo nothing but respect and love and was only allowed to watch. Bofur saw what Thorin had been like from the beginning of the journey up through the dragon sickness, yet Thorin was allowed what Bofur was denied. If their positions were reversed, Bilbo would be pretty furious, too.

Bofur spoke again, softly and almost shy. “I have always wanted to kiss you, did you know that? More than the watching, more than the sex, more than anything we've flirted with, I have simply wanted your lips on mine. I nearly kissed you goodbye the night you almost left us in the Misty Mountains. Had we not fallen through the floor, I think I might have chased after you...or followed you outright back to the Shire.”

Bilbo's heart thudded in his chest. He did not know Bofur's crush had gone back so far, or ran so deep at that time. It seemed to make the insult of allowing Thorin into their bed instead of Bofur and Fili somehow more egregious.

“This thing that happened, I don't quite even remember how it began," Bilbo attempted to explain. "I know this sounds like something people just say, but it truly seemed to happen so fast. I remember thinking I already had a bond with Thorin. Having sex with him wasn't imprinting on someone new and it wasn't endangering someone else's relationship. Kili was encouraging it and Yavanna knows Thorin had been asking for it since the battle. I can't say it was all their doing, however. I was not a passive participant. I loved Thorin, I bear his mark, and I will admit to you I wanted it, too."

Bofur thought a confession of love for Thorin was a piss-poor apology. He scowled, but Bilbo was not deterred.

"I realize you may not want to hear that, but bear me out. I thought taking Thorin to bed did not pose much of a risk, for all those reasons, but it still nearly tore Kili and me apart. It almost destroyed me, too. Kili thought he was doing something good for us, encouraging Thorin to join our play, but instead it turned out to be a disaster. Thorin and myself--and he and Kili, too--have lost everything we managed to salvage from our time together. That was bad enough, but imagine now it had been you and it had all gone horribly wrong like that. How could I bear the loss of you?”

Bofur scrubbed a hand over his face. “Perhaps in hindsight you saw the prudence, but you did not know that at the outset. It hurt so badly to know after everything we've been through and done, the leagues we have traveled and all the private conversations we have had, that you would choose to take someone else to your bed--prior bond or not. It pained me that our closeness meant so little to you that I was not even considered.”  
Bilbo seized Bofur's forearm. “Is that what you think? That I do not have enough of a feeling for you to think of such things?”  
“I once thought you did. Before."

BIlbo closed his eyes and shook his head, biting back a chuckle because he didn't need Bofur misunderstanding anything else. _Gods, he has no idea, does he?_ Bilbo thought to himself. He shifted to sitting on his knees closer to Bofur so he could more easily look him in the face. 

Bilbo asked, “Remember when we agreed to leave any flirtation excluding Fili and Kili unexplored? Did you forget it was because I, too, deemed it too dangerous to delve into?”  
“No, I suppose not,” Bofur replied slowly, working the impossible out in his mind.  
Bilbo grew impatient for Bofur to reach the appropriate conclusion. “I love you, you great idiot! I'm crazy about you, to tell the truth, but I need you in my life too badly to risk you on momentary pleasure. That is why we did not advance our play with you, not because I didn't feel enough but because I felt it _too much_. Thorin is deeply and truly loved but he is not part of my daily life as you are. Losing him is proving to be rather horrific but were I to lose _you_...gods, Bo, it would be like losing Kee! And there's Fee besides, whom I love in a different way altogether. To lose you both...I cannot bear to even think on it.”

Bofur did not believe what he was hearing. It was as though one of his daydreams had simply materialized in front of him. It wasn't that Bilbo did not want his touch or his kiss, but that Bilbo wanted them too much. Bilbo loved him. Bilbo _needed_ him. The despair within him drained and was replaced with an elation that made him feel nearly drunk. He rose up on his knees in front of Bilbo and took the hobbit's hands.

“Bless me, I love you, too! You belong with Kee and I would not want to be without Fee, but somehow it hasn't prevented me from being in love with you. I swear to you my heart stopped when I found you in the water. Had you died, a part of me would have died with you.”  
Bilbo seized Bofur and hugged him tight. "I've been beside myself that you weren't speaking to me. I'm sorry, Bo. I'm so sorry for not understanding and for not explaining my feelings to you."  
"I"m sorry, too. I wasn't there for you and you were so upset and now Thorin's cut off his braid and, Mahal, I'm simply so sorry," Bofur babbled.  
"You were there when it mattered most," Bilbo reassured him, rocking back to gaze at him. "You were there to save the life I was recklessly throwing away over nothing more than a stupid misunderstanding."  
"I'd do it a hundred times if I had to."  
Bilbo nodded decisively. “So, there we finally have it out in the open. I love you and you love me and there will be no more sulking about because I didn’t ruin all our lives with cock-based decisions, okay?”  
Bofur sputtered a laugh. “Okay.”  
“One more thing, though.”

Bilbo slid a hand alongside Bofur’s jaw, cradling it gently. He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to Bofur’s lips. He pulled back slightly and looked into Bofur’s eyes. He moved forward and touched their mouths once more, firmly this time. Feeling Bofur respond against him, he opened his mouth to signal that this was not a friendly peck. This was to be a lover’s kiss.

Bofur parted his lips and welcomed the warmth of Bilbo’s tongue. He swept his own across it, tasting and feeling it. They licked into each other’s mouths, teasing lips with nibbles and suction as they embraced. Bofur's hands roamed over Bilbo's back, pulling him even closer. The kiss deepened, mouths opening wider and tongues prodding further. A whimper escaped Bofur and Bilbo answered it with a groan rumbling up from somewhere within. Well over a year’s worth of longing was getting its moment between them and they did it as much justice as they could with their clothes on. Bilbo's hands had moved to Bofur's hair while one of Bofur's paws cupped Bilbo's bottom. Still on their knees, they pressed and rubbed against each other while they kissed, kissed, and kissed.

It ended similarly to the way it began--with soft, sweet presses of lips now dampened with their saliva and swollen from the activity.

"Bilbo," Bofur whispered as their mouths separated at last.  
Bilbo leaned back. “I suppose you might imagine that was solely for your benefit but I confess, I’ve always wanted to kiss you, too. Fili is a lucky, lucky dwarf.”  
“And Kili and Thorin are right bastards.”  
Bilbo giggled. “Thank you.”  
Bofur said sincerely, “No, thank you.”  
“So, can I count another misunderstanding as cleared up? Are we best friends again?” Bilbo asked.  
Still holding him close, Bofur kissed Bilbo's forehead.  
“I’ll always be your best friend, Bee. Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine's Day, friends <3
> 
> I'm anticipating some fun comments on this one :D


	20. Attempted Negotiations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The couples try to regain their footing. Bilbo tries to get through to Thorin.

  
Bofur found Fili and Kili at the blacksmith's, borrowing the forge. With a single glance, Fili could tell Bilbo and Bofur had straightened things out. He could kiss that hobbit for restoring the bounce in Bofur's steps. He hoped Bofur already had.

Bofur nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "Kee, Bilbo explained some things to me today and I think I may have been unnecessarily cross with you both."  
Kili smiled widely. "Does this mean you are done being angry with me? With us?"  
"I believe so. I was under the assumption that...well, never mind what, but I was wrong about some things."  
Kili grasped Bofur's shoulders. "I'm sorry for my part in anything that upset you and Fee."

Fili shifted next to them and hugged them both at once. Maybe now, things could go back to normal--or better.

*****

Thorin realized he had not thought his plan of avoiding Bilbo and Kili through very well when he ran out of things to do with his days. With Dwalin and the others out of town, Bifur spending time with Bofur, and Ori wanting to spend all his time with either Chadham, Thodora, or Bilbo, he was unexpectedly solitary and left without much to do. After making the decision to cut ties with Bilbo, he found himself thinking too many painful thoughts holed up in his room alone. He went out occasionally to clear his head, but he had to be careful not to run into Bilbo on wedding errands. He hoped Fili would call on him more frequently, but his nephew was caught up in helping with the wedding and had a relationship of his own.

Thorin came in from getting some food to find a letter had been slipped under his door. He recognized Bilbo's writing straight away. Setting the letter on the nightstand, he vowed not to read it. _The dead do not write letters,_ he thought darkly. He sat, drumming his fingers on the armrest and tapping his foot nervously, eyes darting repeatedly back to the offending missive. 

He muttered to himself, "I should throw it in the fire."

To keep his mind occupied, Thorin hummed a song. When that didn't work, he decided to go back out again.

Thorin did not make it to the door of the inn. 

Storming back into his room, Thorin snatched up the letter and stood over his hearth. He had not stoked up the fire since before he left for his meal, but the coals there would easily ignite the letter he was holding. With a trembling hand ( _when did that start_ ), he held it just above the heat. In the end, Thorin was unable to bring himself to destroy Bilbo's sentiments, whatever they may be. 

Thorin unfolded the letter and read it.

*****

_Dear Thorin,_

_Fili told me of your plan. Although it is not my wish to alienate you further, I must ask you what in Eru's name you are thinking with such a thing? It is madness!_

_How do we go from making love to never speaking again? I know I was harsh with you the morning you proposed your idea to Kili. We never talked about what happened, in spite of our later intimacy, but I would like to. You have to be willing to speak to me first, though._

_Please call on me. If you are too embarrassed by my prior outburst to do so by daylight, reply and I will come to the inn. I can meet you in the peach grove where I found you that first day if you'd like. All that matters is that I get a chance to speak with you again. I need to explain some things and apologize to you._

_Please, Thorin._

_Love,_

_Bilbo  
_

*****

A second letter was tucked into the first.

_Thorin,_

_These past few days have certainly been strange ones for us. Bilbo has shared your best wishes for our future, but Fili's news darkens our happiness. I do not want to live the rest of my life not seeing you again and neither does Bilbo. Just when I thought we might have found a way to bridge the pain, there was a huge misunderstanding. It was bitter and possibly embarrassing but it is no reason to leave me for dead._

_I've loved you my whole life. Perhaps you do not wish to watch me marry, but it pains me to think our last words might be the harsh ones spoken in Bilbo's dining room._

_I had a dream that night about you. I do not remember much, but for a moment, I felt like your Kili-colt again. I suppose it is difficult to go back to such sweetness when you have finished me off in bed, but I am willing to try. I hope you are, too._

_Much love,_

_Kili_

"I'm sorry," Thorin whispered. "I simply cannot."

*****

"Did you know what was going to happen today with Bofur?" Bilbo asked Kili.

"I figured when Fee and I decided to go off together that Bo would either come with us and I could get some answers or he would opt out to avoid me and you could hunt him down. The latter wound up being what happened."  
"Kee! So you _did_ set it up!"  
"I didn't spend all that time around Fee without picking up some of his tricks. Besides, I have a little something I actually am working on for you and Fili's help was appreciated. It wasn't a _lie_."

"I kissed him," Bilbo said.  
Kili grinned. "Good. And?"  
"I think...perhaps I'd like to do it again."  
"Does this mean you're considering taking them to our bed?"  
"I don't know, Kee. You know what happened with Thorin."

Kili nuzzled Bilbo's ear and released Bilbo's cock from his trousers. He pumped it as he whispered to Bilbo. 

"But Fee would love to see what you looked like with Bo's cock in your mouth."  
Bilbo closed his eyes and moaned.  
"I'll bet he would like to know what Bo's come tastes like on your tongue."  
"Kee," Bilbo panted.  
" _I_ would like to know, too," Kili whispered.

Kili lowered himself, ceasing his stroke to wrap his lips around Bilbo instead. Bilbo stuttered and came in Kili's mouth, shockingly quick.

Kili smirked. "Seems like that sounded pretty good to you as well."  
"You talking filth to me sounded good," Bilbo said.  
Wrapping his arms around his lover, Kili asked, "So? Bo?"  
"Kee, I'm yours. I'm marrying _you_. I've never wanted anyone as much as I still want you, even after all the times we've surrendered to one another. I do not need to add partners to our bed to be happy. You are my happiness."  
"Perhaps you do not _need_ anyone else, but there is no reason to deny Bo or Fee if you want them. I've got what I want from you--namely, the rest of your life."  
"Sweet Yavanna! Could we at least get married first before we start adding pillows to our marital bed?" Bilbo asked.  
"Of course. We don't have to allow anyone in at all if you don't wish it. Bo and Fee don't even have to watch anymore if it makes you uncomfortable. I merely worry you might begin suppressing your desires in light of what has happened, and that will not serve us well."  
"What of _your_ desires?"  
Kili kissed Bilbo's temple. "Honestly?"  
"Of course."  
"I want everything with you," Kili said. "I want us to be so filthy with each other we make animals blush. I want to see you destroyed by passion, gasping for air and dripping. I want to drive you to the very brink of what your body can do. If it helps to have Fee and Bo touching you, so be it. If it helps to have _Thorin_ fucking you in half along with me, that works, too. If it makes you feel hot and dirty to wank Fili off while Bo takes him, let's do that. Your pleasure, Bee. That's what I want, along with whatever that entails."  
"But what of your pleasure?"  
"That _is_ my pleasure. I'm about to come simply thinking about what I could do with you--especially with help. It has always been you for me. You getting there has always been nearly as good as getting there myself."

Bilbo had just finished but he felt himself stirring again at Kili's frankness. Kili had promised him from the very beginning that he would exhaust Bilbo with rapture and he had more than made good on his word. 

Bilbo fiddled with Kili's courting braid. "If we decide we want to let anyone touch--and right now it is only an _if_ \--it might only be fair if you...participated."  
Kili shrugged. "I don't know if I want to suck anyone's cock that isn't yours, if you want to know the truth."  
"But if Bo touched you, or if you wanted a kiss, maybe?" Bilbo suggested.  
"Maybe," Kili conceded.  
"For right now, though, can it be just us?"

Kili parted Bilbo's lips with his own, kissing him intimately. 

"All I need is you, Bee. Anything else is merely extra." 

*****

"Did you get a worthy explanation then?" Fili asked Bofur.  
"Aye," Bofur replied. 

He explained Bilbo's reasoning to Fili.

"Kee said something like that, but he did not spell it out as clearly. I admit it soothes my bruised feelings to know we were not rejected in the manner we thought. I can't imagine how much better it makes you feel."  
"I feel leagues better, but not from that only. There's more."  
"Oh?"  
"Bilbo is in love with me," Bofur said, somewhat shyly.  
"Did he finally tell you?"  
"What do you mean, 'finally?'" Bofur asked, suspicious. "Did you know?"  
"I thought I did, but then this whole mess happened with Thorin and I thought I might have been wrong all along. Seeing him so forlorn this morning and talking to Kili made me realize that regardless of what happened with Thorin, I had been right in the first place."  
"And when were you going to tell _me_?"  
"It wasn't for me to tell."  
Bofur eyed Fili for a moment before continuing. "I did what you suggested and told him how I felt. He, uh, he kissed me. What do you think of that?"  
Fili waggled his eyebrows. "I think that I hope this means we are going to get to play in that new bed."  
"Be serious!"  
"I am," Fili said. "You two have loved each other for ages, only now you both know you do. I do not find it worrisome. Rather, I'm hoping that the two of us can explore these new possibilities. You and I could do all the dirty things to Bilbo we have talked about, or perhaps Bilbo and I could seek out ways to make you sigh and shudder together," Fili said.  
"So you truly don't think I'm some sort of dwarvish aberration because I'm in love with two people?"  
"I think it is more common than we are led to believe. We would not have social laws regarding such things if it didn't happen. Besides, Bilbo is not trying to woo you away from me, not like Thorin was trying to woo him. Bilbo doesn't want us apart any more than he wishes to leave Kili. He's capable of having more than one lover."  
"Hopefully three," Bofur said with a wink.  
"Or four."  
"Four?" Bofur said, making a face. "Who would be the fourth?"  
"Thorin."  
"Oh no!" Bofur exclaimed. "No way! Not in my bed."  
"Not at the same time, but you should have seen him when I told him Thorin would not see him again. There is love there, regardless of whatever mess there has been lately."  
"He wouldn't take Thorin back to bed after all of this. Certainly not with Kili, not after what Thorin pulled."  
Fili shrugged. "We didn't think he was going to take Thorin to bed last time, either. Who knows what gets into that hobbit's head?"

*****

Gandalf, Ori, Ori's hobbits, and Bifur came to dinner that night. Bilbo, Kili, Fili, and Bofur made a huge meal together as they had frequently done before the incident and all the arguments that followed it.

Bofur knew it all wouldn't be instantly perfect between them, but preparing dinner with Bilbo, Kili, and his darling Fili--their quartet back together again--made his heart swell. He smiled sweetly at Bilbo whenever their eyes met, often receiving an affectionate grin in return. It felt amazing to know at last Bilbo felt the same, more amazing than he had imagined. Although his prick was interested in the potential of the revelation (as well as Fili's enthusiastic interest), Bofur mused that things could remain simply as they were now and he would be content for the rest of his life. 

Bilbo felt an enormous sense of relief that he had not completely destroyed the lovely life he had built with these dwarrows. Kili, as always, shined like the sun as they worked. Bilbo would never tire of those eyes and that grin. Bofur's looks in Bilbo's direction were reassuringly loving. Fili's glances were...nearly lascivious, oddly enough. He wondered what Bofur (or Kili) had said to him to put the heat back in his gaze again. It had been absent since before his fight with Thorin and Kili. Oh, _Thorin_. Thinking of the king made him sad. He had not heard word from him and it had been hours since he slipped the note under Thorin's door. Surely he would have found it by now! 

Bilbo hoped Thorin would show up during the meal, but hope faded along with the fire for the night. A cold dread crept up within him. Perhaps this time, Thorin might not be swayed. So many times, Bilbo feared their partings might be the last. Although Kili was always worth such an ending, it hurt Bilbo deep down to think about Thorin's permanent absence from their lives. He and Kili had been lucky so far that such had not been their fate. Had their luck finally run out?

They said goodnight to all their guests but Gandalf, who was taking a last pipe with them outside Bag End. 

"Something has changed with the four of you again. I take it you have worked out any ill feelings between you?" Gandalf said.  
"Yes. I'll admit it was my fault," Bilbo replied.  
Kili chimed in, "And mine."  
"And mine," Bofur added.  
"Don't look at me. I thought they were all foolish," Fili joked. "I might be the only sane one here."

Gandalf smiled while the others laughed and Kili shoved his brother. He sensed something new between the four friends and lovers, somewhat more than what was between them before. They nearly illuminated the dark around them.

*****

"There is a favor I would like to ask of you," Kili said to Bilbo when they were again alone. "I did not want to ask it while you and Bofur were not getting along, but now you've settled things I think it is safe."  
"What is that?"  
"I know you were planning on cutting your hair before the wedding but if you are agreeable, I would like to ask you to wait to cut your hair until after."  
"I don't mind waiting, but would you let me know why?"  
"It is a tradition for dwarrows to have their closest kin or battle brothers weave a special plait into their hair on the day they wed," explained Kili. "Fee will do one for me, regardless. Since the wedding is very hobbity--which I love, please don't misunderstand--I was thinking that perhaps you could keep your long hair to participate in one of our traditions."  
"That would be lovely. Yes, I'm quite I'm happy to do that. Indeed, anything you want to do to make this more dwarven, I do not mind. It is not all about me, but rather about _us_. It just so happens that we are in the Shire and so are the majority of my resources, but the whole thing could be dwarven and I would be thrilled simply to be marrying you."  
Kili hugged his betrothed. "I know, my jewel, and I love you for it. This is but a small detail but I believe it would be meaningful."  
"May I ask why you didn't want to ask while Bofur and I were having troubles?"  
"Would you have wanted anyone else to do it?"  
Bilbo smiled. "No."

*****

At Bilbo's behest, Bifur slipped a note under Thorin's door on his way to his room for the night.

_Dear Thorin,_

_I have not seen or received word from you. Is it because I called your plan mad? I apologize. The idea I may not see you again is upsetting to me, but I did not mean to say anything that would offend you._

_Repeating my offer, I hope you will agree to see me. You may write me instead, if it is your wish. Please allow me a chance to mend this, or at least reach some manner of truce. I've done the same for you, you know._

_Love,_

_Bilbo  
_

*****

One ahead of breakfast the following morning and one before what would be Elevensies (were he a hobbit) Thorin received two more notes under his door.

_  
Thorin,_

_You can't simply decide you'll never see me again._

_Bilbo  
_

*****

_Thorin,_

_Fili said this is all because you love me so much. Well, I love you, too, so what am I supposed to do?_

_Bilbo_

*****

Thorin did the same as he had with the notes that came before: set them aside and wept.

*****

"Gandalf, please. Can you talk sense to him?" Bilbo begged.  
"Bilbo, you know better than anyone the frustrating stubbornness of dwarves," the wizard said patiently. "That being said, there may be yet something I can do."

*****

Gandalf brought Thorin a touch of lunch to get him to let him in.

"Thorin, the wedding is approaching quickly. If you will not attend, will you at least speak to them?"  
"Gandalf, I'm mourning them. It would defeat the purpose to speak to them."  
Gandalf held his temper in check, but only barely. "Why do you need to mourn them when they yet live? When they love you? It is dampening what should be a happy time for them. Unless, of course, that was your intent all along."  
"Bite your tongue, wizard. I would not ruin this wedding for them."  
Gandalf stood. "Well, you are about to."

He handed Thorin another letter.

"I won't be reading this," Thorin said.  
Gandalf raised an eyebrow. "Indeed," he replied.  
Thorin bristled at Gandalf's suspicious tone.  
"The dead do not write letters," Thorin said with what he hoped was regal authority. 

Unfortunately, it did not sound any more convincing than it did when Thorin said the same to himself.

Gandalf made his exit in an exasperated flourish. Thorin was glad to see the back of him. The situation was difficult enough without the wizard's calculating stare. He sighed. At least the lunch he brought him was good. Delicious, actually.

Thorin chewed his food, eyeballing another letter with Bilbo's familiar handwriting on the front.


	21. Interlude:  A Troubled King

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some insight into Thorin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I nearly posted this with last night's chapter, but it needed a bit more revision and I thought it might stand better as a chapter of its own.

Once his meal was finished, Thorin continued to stare at the letter as though it might attack.

"This is ridiculous," he grumbled, snatching it up to read.

 

*****

_Dear Thorin,_

_I do not know what to do or what to say to move you to stop this long enough to simply let me explain. I finally have but a taste of the helplessness you must have been feeling these long months and I am sure I do not have to tell you how bitter it is._

_I find it terribly unfair that you have decided to be done with us without at least granting us our final goodbyes. No matter what had transpired in our past, even after the battle, I have never denied you the right to speak your heart to me at our partings. I'm begging you to give me that courtesy if you are going to insist on imagining me dead._

_I do not wish to say farewell in a letter, nor do I wish to explain myself to you in such a clumsy way. I wanted you to be able to see my face when I tried to make sense of my foolishness for you. I do not know if you are reading these at all, but if you are, here is at least some of what I have needed to say to you--_

_I misunderstood Kili's reaction to your touches. I thought he had chosen you over me, that the two of you would go off together and leave me alone again in my smial. For a moment, I thought I would rather die than face that life again. Lucky for me, Gandalf and Bofur had other ideas and they rescued me from myself. I made a mess of everything that day. Honestly, there was no one I avoided hurting with my overreaction. I never told you how possessive I was of Kili and you had no way of knowing on your own, particularly after our bed session. I see now you were trying to make something new work for the three of us. The proposal of the new bond was far too much for me, but my response to it was overblown as well._

_You came to me that night, probably seeking answers. I was still under Gandalf's sedation, though you would not have known it. I thought I was still asleep. Do not let that upset you too much because I've had time to think about it and I've come to a conclusion. In my dreams, when I thought I was able to do what I felt without repercussion, my first reaction to seeing you was to make love with you. I know what I said to you that morning was terrible and I was unnecessarily violent with you, but what does it say about my feelings when I wake to you and immediately want you as close as possible?_

_I apologize for crying for Kili afterward. It was cruel but I did not do it to harm you. I suppose I had no business doing anything other than sleeping that night if I were in such a fragile emotional state. I keep going back to that and thinking I drove you to your current course of action with my blubbering. It makes me feel ill. I couldn't stand it if your final memory of me was something so horrible for you._

_I can't stand for you to have a final memory of me at all. How can we bear it? Any of us?_

_I have more to say but I wish to say it in person. Please allow me to do so._

_We love you, Thorin. Far too much to end it like this. I love you._

_Please,_

_Bilbo_

 

_*****  
_

This letter affected Thorin more than any of Bilbo's prior attempts at restoring communication between them. He wept so hard, his lunch nearly came back up. Why did it have to be this painful? He had gone decades without shedding a tear yet his relationship with Bilbo had managed to turn him into a squalling infant. Dwarrows simply did not weep like this!

Bilbo's words of affection and love were never easy for Thorin to take once their betrothal ended, but these hit him particularly hard. He could not let it sway his resolve, though a part of him wanted to run to Bag End as fast as his legs would go and sweep Bilbo into his arms.

As tears dried and lunch settled, a great drowsiness overtook Thorin. He had not been sleeping well and this last cry had taken a lot out of him. Perhaps an afternoon nap was what he needed.

 

****

_Thorin stood on the wall at the gate of Erebor observing a past version of himself watch Bard, Thranduil, and Gandalf approach the gate with the Arkenstone. He looked around at the nearly broken members of his company, each one skinny, shivering, and weary. He barely recognized the dwarf that stood scant paces away as himself. Thin, dirty, and pale, the besieged king looked hollow and haunted. Bilbo, Kili, and Fili also looked alarmingly sickly, the hobbit being the worst of the three. Thorin had not realized at the time how rundown and hungry his betrothed had been. Guilt clenched inside him._

_As Bard came forward and had a conversation with his other self, Thorin watched Bilbo. He was clearly nervous and glanced around to Fili, Kili, and Bofur. Had he been seeking reassurance from his new family, even back then?_

_The terrible moment came all too soon: Bilbo confessed to taking the Arkenstone. Thorin watched himself explode in fury._

_"You! You! My own! My betrothed! You miserable hobbit! Heartless betrayer! By the beard of Durin! I wish I had Gandalf here! Curse him for his choice of you! I was a fool to ever be bewitched by you! I wish I had never met you! And you are about to wish you never met me! Today you will meet your end for daring to cross me."_

_How Bilbo ever again managed to look into Thorin's eyes after seeing murder in them was beyond him, yet Bilbo had done so and more. How many hugs, kisses, conversations, and confessions of love did they have after this horrible moment? What of the sex? Not only with Bilbo but with Kili's leave! Kili, who watched his king and uncle nearly kill the person they loved most? What a capacity of forgiveness Bilbo and Kili had!_

_At the thought of Kili, his eyes flicked over. Kili and Fili had weapons drawn. Looking in the other direction, he saw Bofur did, too. What if Gandalf had not thwarted Thorin's intent? They were ready to fight for Bilbo--to fight_ him _for Bilbo! The Thorin in the siege would have been furious to know his own kin (and a toymaker) had drawn arms against him, but looking upon it now with the knowledge of what came after, Thorin could not blame them. What else could they have done? What would he have done had the positions been reversed?_

_After the most horrible of threats, Bilbo was still standing up to the damaged king, defending himself, and trying to make some sense of it so Thorin would understand his actions were for the protection of the people that Bilbo loved. Thorin marveled at how Bilbo could be starving, heartsick, and weary, and yet still be so articulate and brave._

_"There will be no life for us together and you are fortunate you continue to have one at all. Leave my sight, halfling. Our betrothal has ended and I renounce our bond in all the ways we had one. May we never meet again!"_

_Thorin's own callous words made him wince. There it was, his worst regret laid out before him. Thorin had ignored Bilbo's final defense, instead making the biggest mistake of his life. He could not stop himself from shouting out._

_"You fool!" he yelled at himself. "You sick, gold-obsessed fool! Do you have any idea what you have done? It will never be the same after this! There is no going back when you change your mind, and believe me you will change it! You will regret this moment to your core every day for the rest of your life and for what? Gold? The Arkenstone? What you have given up is worth more than a hundred mountains filled with gold, worth more than a thousand stones! Curse your idiocy!"_

_Much to Thorin's surprise, the Thorin in his memory turned to him. "You dare criticize me? Judge me? At the very least, this is the first time I've made this error. What of you? You have more or less just told him the same thing!"_  
 _"I have not! I've been asking him to remake our bond, to come back to me! I've spent months trying to undo the catastrophic thing you've done! To try and salvage some part of what we had before, of who I was when I was with him!"_  
 _His past echo scoffed at him. "Yet you've sliced your braid and are acting as though he is dead. You will not return his letters. You will not speak to him. How is my 'may we never meet again' any more foolish than yours? I daresay yours is far more cruel."_

_Thorin rubbed the heels of his hands in his eyes. "No, no, no, that is not true."_

_When he looked up again, Thorin had gone back to the scene as though he had not been interrupted. He watched Bilbo have his final, heartbreaking say and listened to himself scream after Fili and Kili when they left him._

_"So I have lost a consort, both my heirs, and a fourteenth of my wealth this day. Well, I shall only miss three of them. If Kili cares so little for himself that he wants a traitorous hobbit then he can have him."_

_"Oh, he'll have him, alright. He bloody marries him!" Thorin yelled at himself. "Do you not care? Do you not realize? They are going to go back to the Shire! Fili goes with them and leaves you in Erebor all alone! They visit elves and live in Bag End together! It is Kili's sword and not yours that hangs over Bilbo's mantle! Kili marks him! He_ fucks _him!"_  
 _The past echo of himself glanced over his shoulder dispassionately. "Why should we care what the dead do?"_  
 _"THEY AREN'T DEAD!" Thorin screamed._

He sat bolt upright in bed. He was breathing hard and his heart was pounding. He looked around and recognized the homey look of his room in the Bywater Inn. His face crumpled in both relief and agony. 

"They aren't dead," he whispered to no one.

*****

  
Once collected, Thorin went out in angry search of Gandalf. He hoped he would not have to go to Bag End to collect the wizard, though he was determined to confront him. He found him surrounded by fauntlings just outside the market.

"Gandalf, a word?" Thorin said tightly.

Gandalf excused himself from the children. He walked Thorin enough of a distance away that the little ones would not pick up any foul language if the look on Thorin's face was any indicator of his mood.

Without preamble, Thorin hissed, "What was in that bloody food you fed me?"  
"Um, a bit of salted beef, I think. They may have cut it with pork to fill it out..."

Thorin clenched his fists at his side. Now was not the time for any of Gandalf's clever nonsense.

He spat, "Do not toy with me. You know very well it had been drugged or magically tampered with!"  
"Thorin Oakenshield, do not accuse me of such deception! " Gandalf thundered. "I would not have drugged you! The food was a peace offering to get you to answer your door and nothing more."

Thorin described his dream to Gandalf.

"From where would such a dream have originated, then?" Thorin accused him. "There is no other explanation."  
"Another explanation there must be because I swear to you on my staff and all that is good and just in Middle Earth, I did not tamper with your meal."

Thorin stared into Gandalf's eye and could not see the lie.

"Truly?"  
"Truly."

Thorin turned to leave but Gandalf stopped him. "I honestly do not know what would have given you such a realistic and troubling vision, but it might do you well to examine its meaning. There are other forces at work in this world that don't need an old wizard's magic."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The incident Thorin is replaying is in Chapter 37 of "Wait, You Are Supposed To Put It Where?"


	22. Dís-sension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin makes a difficult decision and walks right into his sister's arrival at Bag End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my Dís--
> 
> http://kotorigaro.tumblr.com/post/52349189966/ive-been-trying-for-months-to-redraw-dis-ever
> 
> I've been in mad love with that since the first time I saw it. She's like a dwarven supermodel.

While the idea of the wizard drugging him was not pleasing, Thorin was more disconcerted to hear Gandalf had no involvement with his bizarre dream. 

He sat, dwelling upon it until his head ached. Was what he was doing truly cruel? Was it any more cruel than trying to maintain some semblance of friendship with Bilbo and Kili, unable to find any satisfaction in it? More cruel than possibly jeopardizing what they had between them yet again or possibly putting Bilbo in another situation where he wished to do away with himself? He had been furious with his past/dream self for sending Bilbo away and for saying he did not care what Bilbo and Kili did, but he himself was proposing something more drastic with his mourning.

Bilbo's letter also repeatedly came back to his mind. Bilbo was right--he always gave Thorin a chance to speak his heart at every parting. Was Thorin being unfair by not allowing Bilbo the same? Bilbo's words were as candid as anything he had written him since those early days when he waxed poetic about missing the taste of Thorin's skin--Bilbo had admitted his first impulse upon seeing Thorin was to make love to him. That confession alone nearly had Thorin running to Bag End, yet the plan was supposed to be to never see Bilbo again. The fact he was reading these letters at all, responding to them so emotionally...were it anyone else, he would advise them it was a sign they were not ready to let go.

What was he supposed to do instead, then? Continue with the charade of the past year? Move forward doing Mahal knows what? He had been willing to bond with his own nephew--to mark and to be marked--simply for a chance to be near Bilbo. Thorin was not proud to learn his morality was increasingly transparent when it came to the hobbit. Indeed, his desperation nearly drove Bilbo to suicide. True, Bilbo forgave enough to allow himself to be imprinted one last time, but he had wished Thorin was Kili and it had been devastating.

Thorin didn't know what to do any longer. His insides were a jumble. It had only been a couple days, but they had been long, sad ones. Could he truly sign up for a lifetime of this? He threaded his fingers through the hair at his scalp and tightened them. This was not only about him, though. This was for Bilbo's own good, and Kili's as well. He told himself the message of the dream was simply that he needed to give Bilbo and Kili the courtesy of final words, to not be as cold and unfeeling as the past echo of himself.

Though he did not trust his weakness, Thorin decided to give Bilbo his requested chance to say what he needed to say. Perhaps, then, it would be easier to say goodbye.

As he walked to Bag End, his steps were haunted by his scream off the stones at the gate: _"They aren't dead!"_

 

*****

Not long after Gandalf left to see Thorin and the lunch dishes were finished, there was a great commotion outside Bag End. Holman tapped at the door and leaned in. "Mister Bilbo, your dwarves have arrived with more dwarves!"

Fili glanced at Bilbo. "Mother has arrived!"

They rushed out to the path to meet Dís. She was there with Dwalin, the other Ereborian dwarrows, and a small contingent of Blue Mountain dwarrows unfamiliar to Bilbo. Nori offered to show them to the inn for unpacking and where to board the ponies. Not seeing Thorin with the others at Bag End, Dwalin instructed Nori to also call on the king and let him know the princess had arrived. He knew Dís would be eager to see her brother.

"Mam," Kili beamed, leading Bilbo to her by the hand. "This is Bilbo Baggins, the one who will soon be my husband."

Bilbo tried not to stare, but it was rather difficult. Roughly Kili's height, Dís had the familiar bearing of the line of Durin. Although he personally found Kili to be deliciously masculine, Bilbo understood better now the teasing Kili endured--his short beard nearly matched his mother's. Her features resembled a softer, feminine version of Thorin and she had the same glorious blue eyes. She was crowned with hair the texture of Kili's, but it was long like her brother's and it framed her face in twists and ribbons. Bilbo thought she was beautiful. He bowed deeply.

When he stood straight again, Dís looked him up and down. "Really? Him?"

Fili was embarrassed by her rudeness, but Kili would not be deterred.

"Yes, this is my jewel," Kili said proudly.  
"I'm pleased to meet you at last, Princess," Bilbo said graciously. "Kili and Fili speak of you with such affection and respect."  
"Interesting to meet you as well, Master Baggins. It will be quite something to find out how someone like yourself managed to captivate my Kili."

Fili wished the ground would swallow him. Even Dwalin looked uncomfortable.

Years of living with the backhanded compliments of the cattier hobbit families prepared Bilbo well for an encounter such as this, though. The subtle insults simply rolled off him. 

Bilbo replied, "And I shall be eager to tell you. I'm sure you're starving from the road. Would you like to join us for tea?"  
"Yes, I believe we would," she said curtly, annoyed to not have gotten any reaction.

Bilbo offered her his arm, but she looped her hand through Dwalin's instead. Kili took Bilbo's offered arm and into the house they went.

 

*****

The wagons and ponies were gone from the front of Bag End when Thorin arrived. Kili answered the knock at the door and stood speechless as he stared at Thorin blinking back at him. Thorin heard voices from within.

"Is that Nori and the others, Kee?" Bilbo asked, poking his head around the corner. Shocked, he dropped his plate. By some stroke of luck, it did not shatter.  
Fili asked after him. "Bee? Are you okay?"  
"It's-it's Thorin," Bilbo barely choked out.  
"Thorin! Where is my brother? I'm going to hug him and then ring his neck!" Dís exclaimed, sweeping past Bilbo. 

She threw her arms around Thorin and hugged him tightly. Thorin returned her embrace but looked up at Fili, horrified, as Dís chattered away in his ear about how they were lucky to get to Erebor in one piece.

Fili gently tugged at her arm after a few moments. "Mam, you're going to suffocate him like that. Thorin, I'm so happy to see you. There's that thing I needed to discuss with you about the thing and we'd best do it right away." 

Fili nudged Thorin toward the hall, somewhat insistently.

"He just got here!" Dís protested.  
"You've waited months, just give me a few more minutes," Fili said over his shoulder. 

Thorin gratefully allowed Fili to push him toward a spare room while Kili and Bilbo, rattled but recovering, went back to the parlour with Dís.

 

*****

Fili closed the door and Thorin could see his smooth handling of the previous situation was merely an act.

"Mam arrived ahead of tea time. Oh it has been awful, Thorin! She despises Bilbo, in no small part due to her love for you, and she is getting more rude with each hour. This afternoon has been an exercise in endurance. She had just made a snide comment about Bilbo's wooden courting bead when you showed up to break the tension." Having forgotten himself for a moment, Fili looked up in renewed shock. "Wait, what _are_ you doing here?"  
"Bilbo has been writing me letters and I had this dream, you see, and...well, no matter the why of it. I came to give Bilbo and Kili their chance to say goodbye."  
Fili paced. "Today? Now? There couldn't be a worse time. What will Mam say to all that? She's nearly about to kidnap Kili back to Erebor as it is!"  
"I didn't know she was here, or I wouldn't have come," Thorin said. "I've made some terrible decisions but this would not have been one of them."  
"I know it is so much to ask, but if you've ever had a good feeling for Kili, Bilbo, or myself, could you please just go in there and kiss the rest of your hellos to Mam without getting deep into the rest of it? Can Bilbo's goodbyes be said to you later?"  
"Fili, it took everything in me to grant Bilbo's request to do this at all," Thorin replied.  
"I know, I know," Fili said, pinching the bridge of his nose. "It was wrong of me to ask you."

Thorin had rarely seen Fili so jangled. Usually, he was the unflappable one.

Thorin said, "No, I will do this thing you ask."  
Fili embraced Thorin. "As quick as you can should be sufficient enough, because I know it must be incredibly difficult for you to linger. Whatever else you need, we'll do. I can send Bilbo and Kili back to the inn later if you wish...or I could always snap Bilbo's fingers so he can stop writing you letters that no doubt break your heart."  
Thorin huffed a laugh at Fili's jest. "The latter won't be necessary, but I've greatly underestimated my strength. Just seeing Bilbo and Kili again..."  
Fili asked gently, "What would you have them do? After you make your excuses, I mean?"  
Thorin thought on it. "I'll let you know what I decided when you walk me out."

 

*****

"Sorry about that," Fili said. He winked at his mother and whispered, "Wedding stuff."  
"Don't you think it a little cruel to involve Thorin in these matters?" Dís said, disapprovingly.  
"Allow us to worry about such things," Thorin said, going along with Fili's charade.

Hoping to distract her, Thorin crossed to his sister and took both her hands. She stood and he embraced her again. Something amiss caught her eye as they parted.

"Thorin! Mahal's mercy! Your hair!" Dís cried, reaching up to touch where his plait once grew. "What happened?"

Fili, Bilbo, and Kili all held their breath until Thorin spoke again.

Thorin gently clasped her wrist and lowered her hand from his temple. "Something deliberate and private, nothing over which to concern yourself."  
She shot Bilbo a dirty look past Thorin's shoulder. "It has to do with this hobbit, doesn't it?"  
"I said it was a private matter and that is all you need know," Thorin said sternly.

Dís nodded in understanding with no further argument. For a moment, Bilbo could clearly see the older brother/younger sister dynamic between them.

Thorin managed to wrangle his frayed nerves enough to change the subject and make some necessary small talk.  
"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes!" he said to her. "You look remarkably well for having been on the road. How was your trip?"

It took a great effort for Bilbo to bring Thorin some tea and a snack without rattling his cup off the saucer. Kili clasped his hand and they both squeezed the other for comfort. Bilbo did not know why Thorin had come, but Thorin's sad expression at the door and his avoidance of any eye contact gave Bilbo the distinct impression he was not here to tell Bilbo and Kili he had changed his mind about his mourning. The king's shock at the door (and his arrival without Nori), further led Bilbo to think Thorin had no idea his sister was here. There was only one conclusion he could draw: Thorin was granting Bilbo's request to allow him parting words and had accidentally stumbled into Dís's arrival. Bilbo was grateful and heartbroken all at once.

Thorin chatted with Dís about Ered Luin and her journey, keeping his eyes on her and her alone. He could not bear at the moment to look at Bilbo or Kili either one.

"Well, I should get back to the inn," Thorin said, rising.  
"Nonsense!" Dís said. "For what? For whom? The lads and Bilbo are going to make an early welcome dinner for the lot of us tonight. I told them, once I'm up and going, I'm going. If I head back to the inn for either bath or bed, I'll be too useless to return this evening. No, we're not going back to our lodging until it is time to rest for the night. Nori and the others will return soon and Bofur has gone to fetch up some other dwarrows in town from Erebor. It isn't as though you can do much to rule the mountain from here, so unless you've got a new hobbit lover tucked away somewhere, you've nowhere to be tonight but with your family."

This put Thorin in a bad situation. To get out of it, he would either have to explain in part what he was doing in regards to Bilbo and Kili, starting who knows what between Dís and Bilbo, or he could stay for dinner and pretend he was not crumbling into dust inside. Fili looked at him pleadingly, Kili's gaze was hopeful, and Bilbo barely glanced at him at all. The looks he received from Bilbo thus far had been sad and accepting, as though Bilbo knew exactly what Thorin was there to do. That Bilbo was not shooting him pleading glances to save his own skin with Dís was enough to make up Thorin's mind for him.

"If you wish it, I shall stay," he told his sister.

"Good! Come, sit with me and tell me all about Erebor while we wait for dinner. My, this hobbit certainly has _quaint_ furniture, doesn't he?"

 

*****

"Bilbo, I'm so sorry," Kili said when they were in the pantry. "You are handling her beautifully, but I had no idea she would be so...so..."  
"-Acerbic," Fili added as joined them.  
"I can't blame her overmuch," Bilbo said. "I mean, you know what our story sounds like. She sees me as the person who broke Thorin's heart and who now has his evil hobbit clutches in her beautiful son. It will be fine. All I have to do is smile and nod until the wedding, then she'll head back to Erebor and have several months to get used to the idea of me before she has to see me again."  
"If we make it to the wedding," Fili muttered.  
Said Bilbo, "Your mother isn't any worse than some of my relations after a drink or two. Thorin is a far greater problem today. He's obviously in great pain, though he's hiding his discomfort from your mother rather well. I'm shocked and elated he answered my letter, but I do not know what to do about this timing. He agreed to stay for dinner, I'm guessing because she gave him no other option without him having to cause a scene. I do not want to think about what I will have to endure when he does eventually explain to her where his plait went or why. What do you think, Fili? Should I take him aside and allow him to speak in private?"  
Fili squeezed Bilbo's shoulder. "Then you may have a scene of a different sort. You've guessed rightly he came because of your letter, but not because he has changed his mind. Thorin has come to allow the two of you to say goodbye. I imagine there might be a fair amount of weeping involved when you do so--that is not a 'taking him aside' manner of situation."  
"He came to say goodbye and now he is stuck with us until after dinner," Kili said sadly, shaking his head. "I'm glad for this chance, but it has to be quietly ruining him."  
"So we have Thorin preparing for your figurative death while my mother is likely wishing for your literal demise. What do we do?" Fili asked.

Bilbo dabbed at the tears forming in his eyes. He exhaled in a huff, stood straighter, and squared his shoulders.

"At the end of all things, I'm simply a hobbit with hobbit ways. We are going to make them the best damn dinner, that's what we will do." Bilbo grabbed Kili's hand and held it tightly. "That is all we _can_ do."

 

*****

Bilbo's dining room was crammed with dwarves, chairs, an extra table, and all the food the four of them could manage to make on short notice. Bofur had wisely thought to stop by The Green Dragon on his way back with Bifur and Ori, dropping a few coins to have two kegs brought over by wheelbarrow. Bilbo nearly kissed him again for the foresight.

Thorin did his best, speaking barely enough to Bilbo and Kili to avoid further suspicious friction between Bilbo and Dís. He gave Fili and Dís the majority of his attention when it was given at all, keeping his eyes on his plate the rest of the time. It was easier that way.

Dinner was well underway and Dís had yet to say anything sincerely kind to Bilbo since her arrival.

"Your home is... _cozy_ ," Dís said, her hesitation and tone expressing clearly to Bilbo that "cozy" was not a compliment in her eyes the way it was to most hobbits.  
"Thank you," Bilbo said, not allowing his irritation to show.  
She said, "Of course, compared to Erebor-"  
"-Yes!" Fili interrupted nervously. "His father built Bag End for his mother."

Fili re-told his favorite hobbit tale of how Bungo Baggins had gifted Bag End to Belladonna Took. Thorin was rather surprised that Fili was so knowledgeable about this bit of Bilbo's family history. Fili seemed to genuinely love the story, too. Thorin would have never guessed.

"I don't think I knew that about your parents, Bilbo. Your mother must have been an amazing lady," Thorin said softly.

Bilbo looked up in astonishment, not only that Thorin was willingly speaking to him, but also at his reverential tone. Had he truly never shared that story with Thorin before?

Dís did not sound as respectful as Thorin did. "Yes, she sounds like a rather _unorthodox_ sort."  
Bilbo inwardly bristled but he covered it well. "She was all I wished I could be and I adored her. You know, it has been noted that Kili reminds people of my mother."

Kili gazed at Bilbo lovingly, knowing such was high praise in Bilbo's eyes.

"My strong, dwarf son reminds people of a simple hobbit matron?" Dís sniffed, clearly offended.

Bilbo dropped his fork to his plate. It did not clatter but the sound was deliberate. He set his jaw.

"May I have a moment to speak to you, Princess Dís?" Bilbo said calmly.

Dís noted the stern look on Bilbo's face, as though he thought he were a threat. Who did this hobbit think he was?

"Certainly," she replied confidently.

Her eyes flicked around the table. Fili, Kili, Bofur...even Thorin looked worried, like children whose friend was in trouble. The fact that they did not look worried for _Bilbo_ just annoyed her more. Bilbo led her down the hall.

*****

  
"Mahal, only one of them is coming out alive," Fili said, putting his heads in his hands.  
Nori slapped some coins on the table. "I'm putting money on the hobbit."  
"'Ere, mine is on the lady," Dwalin said, adding some to the pile.  
Fili peeked through his hands as the dwarrows ponied up wagers. The guests from Ered Luin put their money on the Princess. He turned in astonishment as Bo put down coins and said, "Oi, Bilbo for me."  
"Bo!" Fili exclaimed.  
"What? We've got to back up our own, haven't we? Well, I suppose Dís is your own, too. You could always put up a couple coins to cancel my wager."  
Kili slapped down money. "Bilbo over here, too."  
"Oh, not you as well!" Fili wailed.

*****

Bilbo led Dís back to the cold weather smoking room. It had not seen much use yet this season, but he was secretly relieved he had cleaned it recently. He did not need one more thing for which to be judged harshly. Closing the door and lighting a candle, he turned to Dís.

"My mother was the person I loved more than anyone in this world until I fell in love with Kili. I understand you are not happy with his choice of me, but you will not speak ill of my beloved dead in this house," Bilbo said.  
"I spoke ill of no one."  
"It was implied that I did Kili dishonor by saying he reminded people of her. I've been letting your barbs and your insults go because you brought Fili and Kili into this world and because Thorin adores you. It is enough for me that the people I love also love you and care for your feelings, but I am getting married in a handful of days and it is going to be a bloody happy occasion, do you understand me? So go on, let it all out. Tell me everything you detest so about me and get it out in the open, because I will not have you making my guests uncomfortable."

Dís was taken aback. People simply did not speak to her this way. If this was the way the hobbit wanted it, she would make him regret it. She rallied herself and let loose her first volley.

"You are right. I do not approve of Kili's choice. My brother fell in love with you and you made him promises-promises which you broke. You have no idea how terrible that was in its own right. Thorin had never been in love in his life, choosing instead to sacrifice himself for the good of others. He finally decided to let himself have one shred of happiness that wasn't solely for his family or his people and you broke his heart. It is impossible for me to express how much he must have loved you to ask you to be his consort and you threw it in his face."  
Bilbo rolled his lips in and nodded. "Noted."  
"Ah! You do not deny it!" Dís exclaimed.  
"I do not view it quite as harshly, for the situation pained me terribly as well, but I acquiesce to your feelings about it. I cannot blame you for seeing it that way."

Dís sucked in on her cheeks. She had been expecting more of a fight, or at least for it to feel like more of a victory when Bilbo assented to her point.

"You took up with Thorin's beloved nephew afterwards. Had you been actively trying to hurt him as much as possible, you could not have made a better choice."  
"Fair enough," Bilbo said.  
"That is all you have to say for yourself?"  
"I could try explaining to you that I did not seek out Kili, but I know it would not change your mind. He happened to me, like a beautiful, glorious force of nature. I did not have to will him to love me. He loved me well before Thorin and I so much as tried to be friends, because that took a while. Your brother was no more keen on me when he first met me than you are now."  
Dís scoffed, "So I suppose you think you will have me bewitched by the end as well."  
Bilbo shook his head. "I'm still shocked about Thorin, to tell you the truth. So, what else do you have to say to me?"  
Dís was losing her momentum. "I don't like that you strung Kili along while still planning to marry my brother, nor do I approve that you gave Thorin false hope once you and Kili began courting."  
"I'm not proud of it, either," Bilbo admitted. "I would do it differently had I the chance again."

Dís wished Bilbo would _argue_. He barely rebutted any of her points, disconcertingly agreeing with her on most of them. She shifted her tactic, hoping to get more of a rise from him.

Looking Bilbo over, she said, "I have a difficult time reconciling the tales of your great deeds with the small, soft hobbit standing in front of me right now. The only thing that makes me think the lads had not been fibbing is that Dwalin, Oin, and the others also corroborate their stories."  
"Princess, I _lived_ those stories and even I still have difficulty believing I was capable of any of it," Bilbo said. "I'm a more formidable foe to honey cakes and a nice roast than I am to orcs and dragons!"

Dís couldn't help but crack a smile, wishing she had thought of the insult first.

"Is there more?" Bilbo asked.  
"That's it? You're simply going to stand here and let me berate you, point by point?"  
"If it helps you. I do not need to prove myself to you to marry Kili. There was a time I hoped you and I would get along, for I miss my mother dearly. Although that seems fairly unlikely, I would never begrudge Kili a relationship with his own--regardless of how the two of us get along."  
"You talk as though you are concerned about Kili's ties to his family, but you did not seem to extend this courtesy to his uncle. You've permanently damaged that relationship, which was one of the closest Kili had."  
Bilbo sighed and leveled his gaze at Dís. "This is my home and Kili has chosen this life with me. Fili, the heir of Erebor, has also chosen to spend time in the Shire with us. I was once Thorin's intended and would have answered to no one in Erebor save for him. Your respect isn't due but it might do you well to remember there were times I could have demanded it, were I such a person."  
"Is that a threat?" Dís sneered, nearly grinning. She liked this more--she preferred a battle.  
Bilbo canted his head and replied calmly. "No, it is a reminder. Were I as unscrupulous as you wished me to be, I would take more advantage of these facts. Instead, all I ask is some peace and possibly a smile or two between now and the wedding. I don't ask it for myself, but for Kili, Fili, and our friends."

Dís hated to admit it, but she respected Bilbo's direct approach and his willingness to stand there and unflinchingly take her verbal blows in the name of love for her family. She was beginning to see--only slightly, mind--a little of the character that the dwarrows had been attempting to describe for her.

"You will find you cannot win me over as easily as the males of my line, but I think we can agree that we both care for their feelings. I will make a better attempt at civil behavior while I am here and try to keep my negative comments to a minimum."  
"I appreciate that, I truly do. Shall we return to our meal?" Bilbo said.

Dís nodded and Bilbo blew out the candle.

On the way out of the room, Dís said, "But this doesn't mean I like you."  
"Of course not," Bilbo agreed affably.

*****

Bilbo and Dís returned to the table, without a scratch and with no clear, immediate victor in the eyes of those who had placed bets.

"Everything alright?" Nori asked, expectantly  
"Of course it is alright," Dís replied.  
Bilbo added, "Yes, why wouldn't it be?" as he squeezed Kili's thigh under the table.

The dwarrows looked around at each other and, confused and disappointed, took their bets back.

"What was all this about?" Bilbo whispered to Kili, indicating the money now disappearing from the tablecloth.  
"I'll tell you later," Kili replied, reclaiming his coins.


	23. Still

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened after dinner

Thankfully, dinner had been early and full stomachs had increased the travelers' weariness. The night was an early one for company. 

Dwalin had been concerned about Thorin since the moment he saw him, doubly so when Dís noticed the missing braid. Thorin's lack of explanation was also curious. Eager to find out what in the name of Mahal happened while he had been gone, Dwalin waited for Thorin to make his exit. 

"Dwalin, will you see my sister safely to the inn and make sure her room is satisfactory?" Thorin asked. 

Though disappointed his curiosity would remain unanswered for the time being, Dwalin still bowed deeply as Dís said her good nights. She thanked Bilbo for his hospitality without the slightest edge in her voice before hugging her sons and Thorin and exiting.

When Thorin did not bolt for the door, Fili figured he was waiting in order to speak to Bilbo and Kili tonight. Indeed, Thorin lingered, waiting impatiently for the last of the guests to depart. Bifur, Ori, Thodora, and Chadham were the last to leave, not having traveled many miles that day as the rest of the visiting dwarrows had.

Bofur took it upon himself to usher the remaining dwarrows out of Bag End, realizing their presence was not required for whatever Thorin was about to do. Bofur and Thorin had exchanged many angry words, but Bofur knew well the anguish Thorin must be in. What courage it must have taken for him to knock on the door that afternoon, only to walk into the dragon's den. 

The evening had been a surprising one for Thorin. Although somewhat lost in his own mind, he could not retreat entirely while maintaining his charade for Dís. It forced him to pay attention. Without his usual preoccupation with Bilbo and Kili's relationship, Bofur, and the like, he felt strangely liberated. He actually _listened_ to the things Bilbo and Kili had to say without analyzing each thought so much that he missed the next. Fili told the story about Bilbo's mother and father and Thorin was genuinely touched. He was proud of the way Bilbo handled Dís and appreciative that Bilbo did not take the opening to do it at the expense of her dignity. Thorin had come to grant Bilbo's request, but he found himself admiring Bilbo (and Kili) in a way he had not considered before. It did not make things any easier.

Once the three of them were alone, Kili said, "I can leave if you'd like."  
Thorin replied, "It will not be necessary. I think the time for secret conversations is well and truly over. The two of you are nearly married. Whatever I have to say to the one, the other can hear."

Bilbo spoke nervously. "I'm relieved you did not run out the door at the first opportunity. I can't believe you came here to do something so difficult and wound up having to endure an evening of pain, but I wanted a chance to say..."

Bilbo looked at Thorin. He was as handsome as he ever was, though his troubles were etched in his expression and his color was pale. He was missing a treasured braid, now one of BIlbo's most prized possessions. Thorin's eyes were focused but sad and his shoulders were rounded in something Bilbo could only call defeat. Bilbo stopped himself from prattling on, from spilling his heart and pleading his case. Thorin had put himself through this for a reason, and Bilbo wasn't going to allow himself to talk over him this time. 

Bilbo said, "You know what? No. Although I have things I wish to tell you if this is to be the last of it, you've had to endure my speeches since the battle. It is your turn to speak. If you please, tell me--tell us--what was in your heart to say when you arrived."  
"How typical of us that I've come to let you talk and you wish to listen, instead," Thorin said.  
Bilbo smiled wryly. "I do not think we are always at cross-purposes. Let us begin here, then, although I believe I already know. Why did you visit?"  
Thorin fought the urge to reach for Bilbo's hand. "I believe you already know, too. You seem to know so often what I'm feeling before I say it. I-I've read your letters. I was trying to do this as cleanly as possible, but you were right when you said I should give you the opportunity you always gave me. I came over today so the two of you could say what you wished to say."

Bilbo rolled his lips inward, nodded slightly, and looked down. He had guessed correctly, but it did not make it easier. Kili sucked in a breath next to him and Bilbo knew the dwarf was trying valiantly not to cry. 

No one said anything for several moments. Thorin seemed to be waiting, Bilbo was not speaking, and Kili did not feel it was his right to go first.

Thorin huffed a pained laugh and attempted to ease the uncomfortable silence. "I was lead to believe by your letter that you had things to talk about. Was that not true?"  
Bilbo replied, "It was. I mean, it _is_."  
"I'm listening," Thorin said. 

Bilbo looked into Thorin's eyes. He said, "I was told you were horrified when you thought I truly harmed myself. Gandalf said you rushed to my side, held my hand until you were led away, and sat vigil in the dining room until he ran you out of the house. You even returned to me that night. I'm not trying to be combative when I ask you this, I swear it, but if my actual loss would have been such a heartache for you, if my living through my foolishness brought you so much relief, how can you so willingly assume me dead, now? Truly, tell me because I will need your secret to cope with the loss of you."

Thorin explained, "I was terrified you had ceased to be and I did not lie in my letter: If you had succeeded, at this very moment, Fili would be returning to Erebor a king. The difference is I know you live."  
"I don't understand how you can do that," Bilbo said.  
"With great difficulty, as none of this is willingly done. It is simply what seems necessary."  
"Necessary for what? Whom?" Bilbo argued.

There it was, the urge to seize Bilbo's hands again. Thorin resisted. 

He said, "For you two, for what is best for you: to live the life you want without the specter of your former lover. For me, to keep myself honest. For Fili, so he does not have to live his life torn between his brother and his uncle."

Bilbo ran a frustrated hand through his hair. 

Thorin's gaze turned to Kili, who had been standing silently aside. "What of you, _kharubith_? What would you say to me, if this be the last?" 

Kili covered his mouth with his hand in an attempt to keep himself in some form of control. When he was sure he could speak without a sob escaping, he said, "I'm sorry for the pain and the misunderstanding that arose from the other morning, but I want you to know I'm not sorry for what preceded it. I don't think I realized before our morning together why it had been so difficult for Bilbo to let you go. I had my suspicions, but nothing could have compared with watching it unfold between you. I appreciate being allowed the chance to see the beauty of what you share and the opportunity to participate, if only for a little while."

Thorin was momentarily struck speechless. He could have said the same thing, word for word.

"Me?" he asked, incredulous. "Us? But he isn't mine. You have him!"  
"Not in the way you do," Kili said.

Thorin looked back and forth between Kili and Bilbo. Kili was resolute and Bilbo wasn't proffering an argument for Kili's statement. Thorin did not know what to make of it. 

After a long moment of silence, Bilbo spoke. "If you could honestly say, 'This is for me, so that I might be able to move forward and find joy,' I swear I'd believe you. That is not what you are saying, though. You are telling me this is for our own good and I'm telling you that never speaking to you again is not good for us. So tell me, without worrying about our needs, what is good for you? What do _you_ want, Thorin? "  
"I want what I cannot have," Thorin replied.

Kili was sharply reminded of a time when he had said nearly the same thing to Fili regarding Bilbo. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

"Well," Kili said, recalling Fili's reply, "can we discuss what you might have instead?"

*****

Gandalf arrived late for regular dinner, missing Dís and the other dwarrows completely. He was intercepted by Fili and Bofur outside Bag End. They explained poor Thorin's grueling afternoon/evening and advised he not go in for a visit while Thorin, Kili, and Bilbo were deep in discussion. They offered to accompany him to the Green Dragon so he would not have to eat alone, but he would not hear of it.

Gandalf said, "if it goes ill--and I'm not sure at this juncture if it can go any way but--they'll need you. Thorin will need you, Fili, and Kili and Bilbo will probably need the both of you. No, best you keep close. Should you need me, I will be at the Green Dragon and the inn shortly after that." 

*****

"There is nothing I can have, not now," Thorin said. "I've tried being around you as friends and battle brothers only, Bilbo. I did not think I could bear it once before--back in Erebor, remember? I sent you away and regretted the decision immediately, but it seems as though my first instinct might have been the correct one. It hurts so much to be away from you, but it is torture being around you. Now that we've made love again, knowing how perfect you two are with each other, it only makes it worse. I've come to terms with myself and I know that 'one last kiss' and 'one last time' will never be enough. I'll always want at least one more. I tried to be the bigger person but I'm...simply not. I'll always want you, therefore I will always be a threat to what you have. Only to a point, though, because we've also learned that even when I win, I lose. Even if I could entice you to bed, you would be desperate for me to be Kili."  
"Only that once, because I thought he was lost to me," Bilbo said.  
Thorin's eyes widened and flicked toward Kili.  
"Yes, he knows," Bilbo said.  
Thorin licked his lips before shaking his head. "All the more reason, then."

"Thorin." Bilbo reached out for Thorin's hands, stopping himself just short, reminding himself his touch might be troubling. "If I thought you were happy with this decision, I would not fight it. Believe it or not, I have enough self-awareness to realize sometimes that not everything can end in my happiness. If this healed your heart or soothed your spirit, I would do my best to accept it. I might cry about it every night until the day I die, but I would accept it as penance for all the hurts I have served you. The problem is, I don't think you do want this. It is the least of the evils you can imagine, but Fili told me you wept for it. I see in your eyes that you are haunted by this decision. Tell me truly, if you never saw us again when you left Bag End tonight, would it make your burden lighter?"  
"Truthfully, no."  
Bilbo said, "Do not make decisions for my own good without consulting me first--or at least avoid decisions that do not gladden your heart. Don't simply tell me what is good for me. Ask me what I want, instead."  
"I know what you want. You want Kili."  
"I do want Kili, but neither one of us is ready to watch you leave with no intention of returning."  
"That only puts us back to where we were before I came to The Shire, then," Thorin said. 

Bilbo thought of the times they had renewed their bond and spoken words of love since Thorin had visited Bag End.  
"Not completely," Bilbo said quietly.

Thorin's expression softened and Bilbo thought he almost saw a hint of a smile. 

"Think on it, Thorin," Bilbo said. "I can't bear for this to be the end. I-I was gutted when you weren't with Dwalin and the rest when they arrived, but I was elated when I found you in the grove. I have felt many, many things for you, but I've never felt indifference, and indifference is what it would take for me to bear losing you like this. I have asked you to endure heart-wrenching things, I know, but I have never asked you to watch me leave for good. There has always been a promise of a letter or a visit, there have always been kisses goodbye...oh, Thorin."

Bilbo's tears escaped his eyes as he spoke and he was sobbing by the end. He ceased resisting the urge to touch Thorin and threw his arms around him. Thorin glanced helplessly up at Kili, resolve weakening. 

Kili shrugged and said, "I stopped trying to fight his love for you weeks ago."

*****

"What do you suppose they are discussing in there?" Bofur asked.  
"Do you really have to ask?" Fili replied.  
Bofur scratched his head nervously. "Aye, I suppose not, but how long does it take to say farewell?"  
"But it isn't simply farewell, is it? It is likely more along the lines of 'farewell forever,' and I imagine neither Bilbo nor Kili are accepting it gracefully."  
"No, I can't imagine they are."  
Fili studied Bofur's face. "You're looking forward to it," he accused. "Thorin's absence."  
"Not as much as you would think. Any goodwill between us has been blown to the Void with this visit, 'tis true, but you, Bilbo, and Kili adore him. His leaving under his stated terms will be doubly difficult for Bilbo and Kili, so I cannot derive much enjoyment from it, even if it means the return of my own peace."  
"I hope they will sway him, or his love for Bilbo will rally--anything to alter the current course of his plan," Fili confessed. "He'll still have to return to Erebor, but it is my hope the terms are not so final."  
"Ach, bite your tongue, Fee. The last thing any of us needs is for his love for Bilbo to rally, as you say."  
"The last thing you need, you mean," Fili said pointedly.  
"And you. And Kili."  
"If they have some chance of mending this pain, or sending Thorin back to Erebor in anything other than a cloud of sorrow, I would welcome it."  
Bofur made a displeased face.  
Fili asked, "What if they did? What would you do? Would it send you back into another strop? What would Bilbo have to do to coax you out of this one?"  
"Hmmm, might be worth a strop just to find out the answer to that," Bofur said, winking.  
Fili knocked his shoulder into Bofur's. "You're terrible. I love you."  
Bofur said, "To be serious, though...if the three of them walked out of there holding hands, there would be nothing for it. I would not love it, but it is not my decision to make, now is it?"  
"I don't think there is much danger of that outcome," Fili said.

*****

Gandalf picked thoughtfully through his meat pie. Two days was more than he expected Thorin to last without a dramatic gesture of some sort, but his quiet acceptance of the events of the afternoon after walking into the arrival of the others seemed out of Thorin's ordinary. He hoped the worst of the drama was behind them, but he was wise enough to know it was likely far from over. Everything unfolded as it should, as it always did, for good or for ill, but Gandalf had not an inkling of how Bilbo's presence was going to alter the most private lives of these dwarrows when he first encouraged them to descend upon Bag End one fine April evening.

Though Gandalf's nature was unique enough to avoid being a prisoner of his libido, he was not above enjoying a bit of lewd humor or developing a twinkle in his eye now and then. Despite this, he was certain he never in his life needed to know so much about the sexual proclivities of hobbits--particularly one Bilbo Baggins. He'd heard him take his pleasure and he knew of (at least) two dwarf lovers...neither of whom seemed to be able to avoid his bed, even in the midst of a betrothal. Throwing in a couple more lusty dwarrows, Gandalf was up to his ears in sex. He sighed heavily. It beat goblins, he supposed, but it was easily twice as frustrating. "They may as well all climb into a big pile, have at it, and sort it out from there," he grumbled to himself. He was not fully convinced Bilbo, Kili, Fili, and Bofur hadn't already.

*****

Thorin clutched onto Bilbo while still trying to convince himself to leave him behind.

He confessed, "Seeing you again, thinking on all that has happened, sitting through this meal with you...my solution suddenly seems worse than the problem. But if not this, what shall I do instead? I'm still in love with you and you're still marrying Kili. I think of the two of you in bed, but instead of hating it jealously, I feel envy and wish I were there with you. Kili is still my treasured nephew, but I've helped him bring you to your knees with rapture. I've even tasted his kiss. I'm so confused. It took strength I did not know I had to make this decision and you are fighting it. Durin's beard, _I'm_ even fighting it."  
"How do you mean?" Bilbo asked.  
"I had a dream."  
Bilbo pushed back and looked at Thorin with interest. "What manner of dream?"  
"I was back at the gate at the moment of my worst judgement. It was when Bard came with the stone. I saw you all there--skinny, disheveled, and cold. I watched myself send you away again and I couldn't bear it. I screamed at the past and the past argued back. He-- _I_ \--said what I was doing now was just as bad, perhaps even worse. When I woke, I tried to make sense of it. I thought perhaps I was meant to come here and allow you to speak your mind. I think might have been something I simply told myself, though."  
"This dream...you didn't happen to see Yavanna in it, did you?" Bilbo asked.  
"Or The Maker?" Kili added.  
Thorin looked at them quizzically. "No, why do you ask?"  
"No reason," Bilbo replied.

Bilbo could almost feel Thorin's conflict as the king had spoken his heart. Bilbo had no idea what the future would hold, but he knew it would be a terrible mistake if this was to be the last of all things between them. 

"I beg you to take more time to think on things, Thorin. Please, don't let us be dead yet," Bilbo pleaded.

Bilbo held to Thorin tightly again. Thorin closed his eyes and let himself melt around him. He buried his nose in Bilbo's hair and inhaled his scent as Bilbo pressed warmly against him. In his mind, Thorin was in Lake Town, wearing nothing but his unders as he cradled a feverish Bilbo through a difficult sleep. His thoughts moved forward to the first time he came shuddering inside Bilbo, utterly reworking his future for better or for worse. Next, he straddled Bilbo as the hobbit perversely gave him direction on how best to pleasure himself for Bilbo's enjoyment. He was on the boat to the mountain, almost feeling the cool air as he whispered filthy suggestions in Bilbo's ear, wanking him off to a quiet finish inside his bedroll. He recalled fastening a gold chain around Bilbo's waist and consummating their love inside their mountain for the first time. His heart sank while he remembered the kiss goodbye in Thranduil's camp, the kiss goodbye at Erebor, the _second_ kiss goodbye at Erebor--so many bittersweet kisses to accompany painful partings. But then--a glorious, unbelievable last chance! Bilbo coming around him, Kili coming _against_ him, all in a bed just down the hall, a memory as vivid as it was fresh. He opened his eyes and glanced over at Kili. The dwarf returned his gaze with a shaky, unsure smile. Thorin exhaled as he squeezed Bilbo tighter. He wasn't ready to let go, not like he thought he had been, and certainly not with Bilbo and Kili like this.

However, knowing what he couldn't do did not put Thorin any closer to understanding what he should do instead. Thorin waved Kili over to share their embrace, which the younger dwarf joined with emotion. 

Thorin said at last, "Today has been trying and there is too much to consider. My heart cannot take any final decisions tonight."  
Bilbo nodded. "We do not ask for your decision tonight. I--we--are grateful for the extra time. May I...could I be allowed to speak to you in the interim?"

The very real possibility of never seeing Thorin again with no warning had jarred Bilbo these past couple days. The reality of what it would be like for everything between them--as lovers or friends--to come to an abrupt end gave Bilbo a new perspective. Were Thorin to choose the worst, Bilbo wanted to savor any final moments, words, or looks between them. He was struck by the realization that this was likely how Thorin felt almost every time he spent time with Bilbo.

Thorin knew somewhere deep within him that the more he saw Bilbo, the more muddied his direction would be. Nevertheless, he answered, "You may."

Thorin left them behind in the parlour, declining a walk to the door. Bilbo turned to look at Kili, suddenly self-conscious of all these emotionally wrought confessions, tears, and embraces.

"Kee, have I overstepped what is appropriate as your intended?" Bilbo asked seriously.  
Kili furrowed his brow. "How do you mean?"  
"I have upset you in the past, weeping or feeling too deeply Thorin's absence or impending absence. You didn't speak to me for days when he left us at Beorn's."  
The corners of Kili's mouth rose sheepishly. He cradled Bilbo's face and said, "That was before...well, many things. I'm no longer as insecure in your love as I was then, and I know more about how you and Thorin must feel now. None of those times threatened to be as permanent as Thorin's most recent plan, either. Even the occasions when I was only too eager to put Thorin at our backs, it was never because I had no desire to see him again. I only wanted us to have space for this thing between us to grow without interference. I always thought we'd remain in contact."  
"What I feel for him does not change or displace what I feel for you," Bilbo said.  
Kili kissed his forehead. "I know, my jewel. I see things differently than I did at Beorn's, or even later at Erebor, and I believe our afternoon in bed gave us all a different point of view than we had before. We've got a wedding before us, my mother to handle, and the fear of Thorin's state of mind. Do not add me to your list of worries, too. Realize I have love for him as well, though it is not the same as yours...and do not let yourself be shamed by the love you still feel. He is your bonded, as I am."

Bilbo gazed at Kili, amazed at how much he'd grown up since Lake Town. Certainly more than Bilbo had, the hobbit was embarrassed to note. 

"I love you," Bilbo whispered, closing the space between them for a kiss. 

Bofur ducked his head in moments later, not knowing Bilbo and Kili would be locked in such a passionate embrace. Normally, he'd be thrilled to watch but this particular evening, he worried it might be too intrusive on the end of whatever heartache they may have just suffered. 

"Sorry! I'll leave you," he said. 

"No, stay a moment. Where's Fee?" asked Kili.  
Bofur replied, "He walked with Thorin a little ways toward the inn. Likely to get the story, if I know Fee. Are you two alright?"  
Bilbo turned to face him, replying, "I'm not quite sure."  
"Was that...was it the end?"  
"Again, I'm not sure. I suppose if it shakes out that this is what Thorin truly wants for himself, there is nothing for it. At the very least, we've let him know what he proposes would not bring us any happiness."  
"I believe he simply needs time to think," Kili said.  
"There is no time, though, not a lot," Bilbo fretted. "We'll be wed in days and then the caravan heads back! I can't let him leave like this, I just can't."

Bofur slipped a comforting hand over Bilbo's shoulder and squeezed. Bilbo responded with a hug. Stroking his hair, Bofur spoke soothingly. 

"He never could resist you, you know. If you've told him this would be terrible for you, I can't imagine him deciding to go through with it."  
Kili embraced Bilbo from behind. "It is clear Thorin is conflicted. I think you were right when you pointed out he does not want this for himself. Hopefully, we've been able to convey how little we want it as well."

Bilbo clutched Kili's hand at his chest and laid his head on Bofur's shoulder. "Then why couldn't he just say so? Why is this decision so difficult for him to make if no one wants it?" 

Bofur heard the waver in Bilbo's voice and hoped it wouldn't be followed by tears. " _Dammit, Thorin_ ," he thought. Bilbo was pressed against him, sweetly but sad, and the hand not holding Kili's was grasping Bofur's arm. Bofur closed his eyes and wished for a more selfish temperament. 

"Perhaps merely telling him is not enough. It might be that you need to, uh, show him," Bofur said.  
"Show him?" Kili asked.  
Bofur nodded. "Show him you do not wish for his absence. Show him what he might miss if he insists on this foolishness."  
"And how do we do that?" Bilbo asked.  
"I can't presume to say," Bofur said. "That is between the three of you." 

*****

"So that's where you left it?" Fili asked, walking alongside Thorin.  
Replied Thorin, "Yes."  
"I'm not taking sides, but who is this truly for if it is not for you and if it is not what they want?"  
Thorin stopped walking. "You don't understand, Fili."  
"I _know_ I don't understand but I want to."  
Thorin turned to look at Fili, the dark of the evening shading his gaze. "You were right when you said I was still sick, that Bilbo had merely replaced the gold that affected me."  
"Thorin, I'm sorry I said that."  
"Don't be sorry for speaking truth. I _am_ affected. I'm not behaving honorably. I'm-I'm depraved."  
Fili scoffed, "You're being ridiculous."  
Thorin gripped Fili's biceps and spoke quietly but fiercely. "I have licked Kili's own spend from Bilbo's hole and gone back for more, simply because it made Bilbo shiver. You cannot tell me I am not depraved. I'm so sick with love, so desperate to feel our bond that I no longer recognize right from wrong!"

Fili was stunned by the erotic confession, but now was not the time for analysis with Thorin wild-eyed in front of him. 

Fili soothed, "You do recognize it, otherwise it would not upset you so. When the dragon sickness took you, you had no awareness of it at all until it had passed. And who said it was wrong? I do not judge you, Thorin. Remember, I know now what it is like to love."

Thorin loosed his grip, shook his head, and resumed walking. Fili kept pace with him. 

"These feelings aren't going to go away by simply deciding Kili and Bilbo are gone forever," Fili persisted. "You could cut your full head of hair down to the scalp but it won't empty your heart. Or theirs," Fili said. 

*****

Fili returned to Bag End, finding his trio embracing in the parlour. Coupled with Thorin's obscene confession, the view temporarily faded his concern for Thorin, Fili, and Bilbo, replacing it with the yawn and stretch of desire. He grinned wolfishly.

"No fair! Tonight of all nights and you've started without me?" Fili teased, crossing to put a hand on both Bilbo's and Bofur's hips. 

Bilbo said, "This isn't what it looks like, I assure you."  
Fili leaned in and pressed his lips to the side of Bilbo's neck. "Hmm, and why not?"  
"Fee! This evening has been rather solemn, you know. Until now. Stop that!" Bilbo giggled as Fili's lips and hands traveled.

Fili stopped at Bilbo's request and grinned at the three of them. Although the swelling in his trousers proved he had been enjoying his first few suggestive touches, Bilbo's giggle pleased him most. Thorin had shared the gist of their conversation with him and Fili was grateful Bilbo wasn't crying. He exhaled and brought his thoughts back to the more severe matters at hand, ignoring his erection for the time being.

"It _has_ been rather solemn, and no mistake. Thorin told me this visit accomplished very little in moving you further ahead, though you have succeeded in giving him pause in his original plan."  
"Did he? Did he tell you he wasn't going to go through with it?" Kili asked.  
Fili canted his head. "Not specifically, but he is much less sure than he was when he arrived. You've given him some things to think about. When it is all said and done, though, the two of you must realize that Thorin has to think about his self-preservation. You and Kili are getting married. You live together. You have sex. You may speak freely of your feelings and your love. Let us ponder what happens if Thorin decides this plan of his is unsustainable. He still goes back to Erebor, lover-less. He is still alone. He cannot speak freely of his feelings to Bilbo. He does not share your bed. He retains contact with you, perhaps to see you once in a while for a hug and possibly a kiss hello, but that is all. Is it better than assuming you dead? I think yes, for all three of you it is better, but you must remember in all your happiness that if this comes to pass, Thorin still has more pain than joy."  
"Wow, Fee. You can kill a mood just as soon as you ignite one," Bofur complained.  
"We will remember, Fee," Kili promised. "Honestly, I hardly ever forget these days."  
Bilbo turned to face Kili upon hearing the sad tone in his voice.  
"Dear heart," Bilbo murmured comfortingly as he hugged his betrothed.

Fili yawned. "Well, if we aren't going to find a unique way between the four of us to take our minds off more heart-wrenching things, I'm going to steal Bofur for a soak, a suck, and a sleep. Today has taken its toll on my nerves."  
"You're giving him a dirty mouth, Bo," Bilbo accused.  
Kili squeezed Bilbo. "He had a bit of one to start."  
"Lads, that is an offer I cannot possibly delay for a moment longer. Will you be joining us?" Bofur said. 

Bilbo turned, smiling kindly but shaking his head. Bofur nodded deeply in return, kissing Bilbo and Kili each on the cheek as a goodnight. Fili did the same before taking Bofur's hand and leading him toward the bath. 

"Do you wish to go to bed, too?" Kili asked.  
"I think I'd like to sit by the fire with you a bit, if you do not mind."

Kili sat in the armchair, Bilbo settling his back to Kili's chest. 

"Did you want to join them?" Kili asked. "I mean, I know we're not, but did you _want_ to?"  
Bilbo sighed. "Somewhat. Being between you and Bo was lovely, though it wasn't necessarily an erotic moment. Fee's mouth on my neck was unexpectedly pleasant, made even more so by you and Bo holding me. I'm not made of stone, you know. I still respond to warmth and touch."  
"I didn't say you were, or that you wouldn't," Kili said.  
"I know. I don't know why I'm defensive. I suppose I feel guilty somehow for enjoying it."  
Kili pulled Bilbo closer and kissed his hair. "I don't want you to feel guilt for the things that make you feel good." 

They sat as the fire mellowed. After a long silence, Bilbo felt the rumble of Kili's voice at his back, though the words were spoken softly like velvet in his ears.

"If Bo were your destiny instead of me, Fee and I would not have happened to the two of you," Kili said. "Gandalf has said the four of us had a blessing around us. Maybe it is possible that you were meant for both of us, and Fili and I would always be near each other."

"Kee..."  
"Understand, I'm not pushing you. I'm just trying out to figure what you want, and attempting to make sure you do not try to deny yourself those things for my own good. You know how frustrating it is when Thorin does it to you."

Bilbo knew Kili and Fili did not understand his reticence to get too deeply in a physical relationship with the other couple. Bofur was the only one of the trio who seemed to understand his reasoning, though he still hoped for a better outcome as Kili and Fili did.

"I've had too much on my heart today, Kee. Tonight, I only have room for you."  
Kili nudged Bilbo forward to stand, scooting off the chair himself. He held out a hand. "I'm yours."

Bilbo slipped his hand in Kili's and led him to their room. 

*****

Thorin walked the rest of the short distance to the inn on his own. He was confused, sad, and aroused. He knew the latter was inappropriate for a situation like this, but after holding Bilbo and letting his memories overtake him, his cock had other ideas. Confessing something so lurid to Fili caused his blood to race as well. Opening the door to his room, he did not know if he wanted to throw himself on his bed for a heavy cry or pull his trousers down for a solid wank. He did not have time to ponder either one, because he was not alone.

Dís sat waiting for him.

"What are you doing?" Thorin asked.  
"Waiting for you. It certainly took you long enough to make your way back. I nearly fell asleep!"  
"But why are you waiting?"  
"Did you think I would not notice something amiss this evening? There is no one I've met between sky and earth who can sulk like my brother, even when he is trying valiantly to hide it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kharubith = young horse, colt  
> Translation courtesy of http://www.scribd.com/doc/98387422/Khuzdul-Dictionary-E-K-v01-JUN12


	24. Interlude: Awkward Explanations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A _very_ short interlude between Thorin and his sister.

_"What are you doing?" Thorin asked._  
 _"Waiting for you. It certainly took you long enough to make your way back. I nearly fell asleep!"_  
 _"But why are you waiting?"_  
 _"Did you think I would not notice something amiss this evening? There is no one I've met between sky and earth who can sulk like my brother, even when he is trying valiantly to hide it."_

Thorin ran a hand over his face. "Look, I'm just...subdued. I think I'm allowed to be a little melancholy given the present circumstances."  
"What _are_ the present circumstances?" Dís pressed.  
"I would have thought between my letters, your sons, and Dwalin, you'd have more of the story than I do."

Dís shrugged and wore an expression feigning innocence.

Thorin smirked. "Now who is transparent? Come on, out with it. What did Dwalin tell you?"  
"Only that you've left our hard-won Erebor in the care of Balin and Dain scant months after her tenuous reclaiming to chase a hobbit halfway across Middle Earth for a reason none of us can comprehend."  
"Have you so easily forgotten love?" Thorin asked quietly.  
Stricken for the briefest of moments, Dís replied, "No."  
"Then I do not know what else you need to understand."  
She made a noise of frustration. "I do not see what is so all-fired special about this simple creature! Honestly, Thorin, you didn't even cut your hair for our Frerin!"  
Thorin shot her a hard look. "I've mourned Frerin for decades and you know it."  
"-Which is why this mystery is so puzzling! This Bilbo has pledged his heart to another, under rather dubious circumstances I might point out. Not only that, he left you for your own kin. I understand a sad heart, I do, but I do not understand this refusal to leave him be in the face of Bilbo's lack of honor or decency. He's not even royal! Or a dwarf!"  
"Has no one thought to tell you of his deeds on our expedition? Were you told how unkind to him I was for the first section of our journey? I was, you know. I was surly, mocking, and sometimes outright hateful. Regardless of my poor attitude, he did his best for us. He fell behind in a terrible situation and I thought sure if he survived, he would have trekked back to Rivendell as fast as his furry feet would take him. Instead, he found a way to catch up. Though he longed for his own home, he fought his way back to stay with us to win ours."  
"I'm sure getting a share of the greatest treasure Middle Earth had ever known had nothing to do with it," Dís replied icily.  
"Perhaps one could think that, were it not for what happened next. I made a rather embarrassing miscalculation in my blind rage and familial pride: On foot, I singularly charged orcs who were riding on warg-back. I was knocked to the ground, wounded, and only somewhat conscious when I heard the pale orc--the very one who killed our grandfather--call for my beheading. Blearily, I watched the executioner raise his arms, my own weapon woefully out of reach. I stand here before you now only because Bilbo attacked him. It was Bilbo who led the charge of our kin in my defense. Gold alone would not have given him such blind and selfless courage. After that, his dedication, his wit, and his bravery stood between us and tragedy time after time. We owe Erebor to him, for we would not have lived to claim it without him. He even faced the great worm on our behalf, all alone."  
"But he merely drove it out to half destroy another town before it was vanquished by someone else!"  
"You say 'merely' as though it were nothing to twice sneak into a dragon's den and bandy words with the beast!"  
Dís exhaled sharply. "That still doesn't explain this hold he has on you."  
"Did your beloved not have the same hold on you?"  
"That was different. We were married."  
"I planned to marry Bilbo. How is that different?"  
"Well, we had more than a battle bond. Our relationship was consummated."  
Thorin swallowed hard. "So was mine."  
"Oh, Thorin! Be serious!" Dís cackled.  
Thorin winced. "I am. We are each of us imprinted."  
Her smile faded. "But...you...how is that even possible?"  
"It would seem hobbits have interesting ways for male pairs to couple, um, meaningfully. They can both mark and be marked, with everything that bond entails."  
Dís covered her mouth. "So you are together but apart? It must be agony! How? How can he marry Kili while being your bonded mate?"  
Thorin shrugged. "Hobbits are different. He feels the pull, he feels the love, but he has it for Kili, too. Stronger, as it goes."  
"Does--Does Kili know his intended wears your mark?"

Thorin knew his sister would be horrified to learn just how much Kili knew, not to mention how he knew it.

Clearing his throat nervously, he said, "He does."  
"Just when I think I'm starting to unravel this mess, I find another knot. What am I going to do with all of you?"  
"With all my love and respect, I shall tell you: You will stay out of it. You will not offer us any helpful advice unless we beg for it. You will not harass Bilbo. We are having enough trouble navigating all this ourselves without you getting in the middle of it."  
"But-"  
"-I know you worry for Kili, but he is grown." Thorin paused, taking in his own words. He chuckled. "They are both grown, now, as difficult as it is for me to believe. We're all responsible for our choices and what comes of them."  
"Still-"  
Thorin held up his hand and spoke firmly. "No lad wants his mother involved in the matters of his bedroom. That goes double for sisters. We love you, but this will be the end of it. Agreed?"

Dís opened her mouth for a third argument, but did not voice it. If the situation was switched, she certainly would not want Thorin or Kili inspecting her bed. She breathed a heavy sigh.

"I shall agree, but I cannot help but worry," she replied.  
Thorin kissed her forehead. "Try not to. Hobbit food is delicious and the Shire is lovely country. Let your worry go so you may enjoy yourself here as much as you can. We have a long, cold trip back and when we reach Erebor, I'm putting you straight to work."

Dís giggled and hugged her brother.

"Now, off to bed with you," said Thorin. "You can barely hold yourself up."  
"I am rather exhausted," she agreed. "To give you fair warning, Dwalin will likely expect a similar report in the morning if not sooner. He worried all the way back to the inn."  
"Thank you for alerting me."

With another hug goodnight, Thorin sent his sister off to her room. Disrobing, he eased himself into his bed. He was exhausted as well, but sleep was not coming quickly. For months, he couldn't let Bilbo go. Now, when he finally tried to set him free, Bilbo held on to Thorin with one hand while grasping Kili with the other. Minus a few hurt feelings and one amazingly filthy morning, they were all seemingly back to Thorin's arrival in Hobbiton again. He was out of ideas and plans, good or otherwise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a lot more story and giant chunks of it are written. It has been slower going, lately, but it is far from abandoned. This was originally the intro scene for the next chapter, but no point in making you wait for the rest of the chapter when it was already complete. Thank you for your patience and for sticking around :D


	25. At Turns Both Tender And Tawdry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Quit it," Kili mumbled into his pillow.  
> "Quit what?"  
> Kili lazily pushed at his leg with a foot. "Thinking. I can almost hear you."  
> Bilbo scoffed, "No, you _cannot_."  
>  "You get all squirmy when you're awake and lost in your thoughts. Budge over or something. You've woken me each time I've almost fallen off."  
> In the darkened room, Bilbo grinned fondly at his sleepy, crabby dwarf.

*****

Bilbo could not quiet his brain with all that was racing through it. Thoughts of Thorin, the wedding, Bofur, Fili, Dís, and Kili refused to let him sleep. 

Since he and Bofur had cleared up their misunderstanding, Bilbo noticed Bofur and Fili had grown more tactile with him. A hand on the back here, a soft squeeze there, and both Bofur and Fili had taken to kissing him on the cheek when they were leaving for the day. Fili had always behaved similarly with his brother. Bilbo knew Fili counted him close like kin, too, but then there were the regular flirtatious comments and tonight's kisses on the neck. Was Fili merely humoring Bofur? Regardless of the love Bilbo felt for Bofur, the very last thing he wanted was to cause friction between the other couple. 

While he was thinking of it, what _of_ Bofur? Bilbo recalled how he felt when he was betrothed to Thorin and in love with Kili. No matter how hard he tried to fight it, he was rendered nearly helpless by that love. With Bofur, it was different. He felt attraction and desire, but he had control. He carried a sweet longing for Bofur, but it wasn't painful--he could merely be around him and be content. Possessive though Bilbo was, he also did not feel even a scrap of jealousy when it came to Bofur and Fili. Neither did Bilbo yearn like he had for Kili, where being around him made him physically ache because the dwarf was not his. The differences were telling. Bofur certainly stirred his blood, but Kili was the reason his heart beat at all. 

And Thorin! Bilbo undeniably still had love for him. What he thought had died away to a physical pull had merely lain dormant in the extended absence. Now his dwarves' positions were reversed, Bilbo found he did not pine for Thorin as he once had for Kili. His love for Thorin was different than what he felt for Bofur or Kili either one. Thorin helped the flame within Bilbo burn hotter as Bofur did, but it only worked with Kili to ignite it. Kili was the one Bilbo treasured above all others. 

His mind kept trailing back to where he seemed to start and end his thoughts every day--with his Kili. Curiously, Kili was not demanding Bilbo live without any of his loves. Bilbo was not sure he could be so selfless in Kili's position. Kili wanted to be his husband, to be loved by him, to sleep in his bed every night, to wear his name, and to share his home. As long as these things were true, Kili seemed not to mind that Bilbo gave Bofur passionate kisses or shared a loving fuck with Thorin--at least, not as long as he was in the room. Bilbo did not understand the impulse, but he recognized it as a great gift. Kili would even let his own brother play dirty with Bilbo, though Kili knew well that was more sex than love on either of their parts. Bilbo had been (mostly) resistant to these allowances, not always accepting the offers when Kili made them...and sometimes hurting the others he loved in the process. If Kili was giving it willingly--and if others were willing to accept the terms of such arrangements--why was Bilbo fighting it? Was he not in love with Bofur? With Thorin? Wouldn't he love to climb into bed with Kili, Fili, and Bofur, feeling three tongues traversing his skin? Or into bed with Kili and Thorin again, being utterly consumed by the bonds in his veins?

"Quit it," Kili mumbled into his pillow.  
"Quit what?"  
Kili lazily pushed at his leg with a foot. "Thinking. I can almost hear you."  
Bilbo scoffed, "No, you _cannot_."  
"You get all squirmy when you're awake and lost in your thoughts. Budge over or something. You've woken me each time I've almost fallen off."  
In the darkened room, Bilbo grinned fondly at his sleepy, crabby dwarf.  
Dropping a kiss to his temple, Bilbo said, "Tell you what. I'll get up for a little bit and do my squirming in another part of the house, okay?"

As Bilbo left the bed, Kili grumbled something unintelligible and pulled the blankets close around him. He settled in again while Bilbo wrapped up in his dressing gown.  
"Love you," Bilbo heard Kili mumble on his way out the door.

*****

Bilbo headed for the kitchen, figuring a sip of something and a snack might do him well.

"Can't sleep either?" he heard someone ask.  
Startled, he whirled around. He could just about make Bofur out in what little light came into the window.  
"Good heavens, you scared me!"  
"Apologies. So, can't sleep?" Bofur reiterated.  
Lighting a candle, Bilbo explained, "No, and I was making Kee pretty grouchy in the process. You?"  
"Couldn't either, though Fee is pretty ignorant of the fact. He's sleeping like a stone."  
Bilbo shook his head fondly and leaned against the counter. "Those two. I can't decide if they are keeping me young or hastening my old age."  
"Aye, but we wouldn't have them any other way, would we?" Bofur observed, resting against the counter himself.  
"True. So what was keeping you awake?"  
"Possibly something that could use your insight, or at least your ear," Bofur said, suddenly fidgety. "Since you're up anyway, mind talking through something of considerable importance to me?"  
Bilbo replied, "Of course not, Bo. What is it?"

"Fee and I have spoken about marriage but I know he fears getting dragged back to Erebor and not being able to leave again," Bofur said.  
Bilbo nodded knowingly.  
"We've got our bond and it should be enough for me, it really should, but more and more, I'm thinking I'd rather be his intended than his suitor. I know it probably shouldn't matter, but it does. Do you think...well, what do you think?"  
Bilbo took Bofur's hand. "If it matters to you, then it matters. I had thought that way for a while, that a betrothal did not need to happen for Kili and me to be happy. I did it to show him I was serious, but I was pleasantly surprised at how it made me feel. I've loved being engaged and I know he has, too."  
"Did it change things?"  
"In the best ways, Bo. I don't think we would have gotten undressed in front of you and Fili if we hadn't been engaged."  
"So if Fee and I agree to marry each other and you and Kee are already married, what do we get to do then?" Bofur winked.  
"Bo! Talking about marrying your Fili and flirting with me in the next breath," Bilbo chided playfully.  
"I am in love with you both, you know." Bofur shifted close enough rest his cheek to Bilbo's, his deep voice vibrating in the hobbit's ear as he continued flirting. "Besides, Fee would be interested, too. I think we both would like to lick the salt from your skin."  
Bilbo shivered involuntarily. "And I am curious whether that wicked tongue of yours can do more than talk lewdly, but Kee and I are attempting to exercise some caution. We've only just moved beyond that giant mess we made...and you and I have only recently discovered how we feel."  
Bofur leaned back. "Fair enough, Bee."

The kind look in Bofur's eyes coupled with the audible disappointment in his voice moved Bilbo. He pressed his body against Bofur's and whispered into his neck.

"But you deserve to know I think about it," Bilbo said. "I think about undressing you and feeling your bare warmth beneath my hands."  
Bofur's breath stuttered. "-Y'do?"  
"Mm-hmm," Bilbo replied, allowing a hand to stroke Bofur's hip. Like his own, it was only covered by the fabric of a dressing gown.  
Bofur closed his eyes. "What else d'you think about?" he drawled.  
"You at my front, Kee at my back, Fee wherever he pleases."  
Bofur risked putting his arms around Bilbo. "What would I be doing at your front, Bee?"  
"Do I have to think of everything?" Bilbo teased. "I was led to believe that you had quite an imagination for such things."  
Bofur chuckled and his lips brushed Bilbo's ear as he replied. "Give a fellow something to think about."  
"You would be kissing me, like that gorgeous kiss the other day, only this time we wouldn't be fettered by our clothes. You could keep kissing me _all the way down_."  
Bofur hummed. "Is that so?"  
"Or I could kiss you...all the way down."

Bofur had to grin. He knew Bilbo had one of the filthiest bedroom mouths in the house--which was saying quite a lot--but here in his arms, he was being coy. Just like his Fili, Bilbo had perfected the art of being brazen and shy at the same time. It was a combination Bofur found inexplicably yet maddeningly attractive.

"And what's to stop us?" Bofur asked, mouthing kisses across Bilbo's cheek.

Bilbo's hand ceased stroking and he took a step back. Bofur inwardly scolded himself for pushing too hard.

"Kee is a bit...different, I would suppose one would say. For a dwarf, I mean. He's got an outlook on this sort of thing that I'm still trying to wrap my reasoning around. I'm not nearly as generous with him as he is with me, which is odd because I'm the one in love with three dwarrows. We've discussed this more than you probably realize. However, Fee is not his brother. You and Kee have told me he is open to this sort of play but we've never seriously discussed it between us. Fee has flirted, sure, but I don't want this to be a situation where it is you and I with a dash of Kee on the side and Fee left out. Or, worse, Fee going through the motions to seduce me because he knows you want it but with no real want of his own."  
"So your hesitation is Fee?"  
"Not only, assuredly, but he is an important part of things, don't you think?"  
"One of the most important," Bofur agreed.  
"Important enough to consider marriage," Bilbo said, "Which brings us back around to the subject were were discussing before you distracted us so deliciously."  
"You started it with that talk of undressing!" Bofur defended himself. He took a deep breath to calm his blood before re-addressing the matter at hand. "So you think there is a definite advantage to moving towards a betrothal even with a physical bond?"  
"I truly do. Also--from experience--I will say if you two are considering opening your bed, having a more solid commitment may help to assuage any dwarven jealousies that may arise."  
"Bloody beard! You make it sound as though we're setting up sex in the middle of a trade route! We would not consider it with anyone but the two of you, and only that because we trust and care for you."  
"I apologize, I did not mean to insinuate otherwise." Bilbo's stomach picked that moment to complain. "Here, as long as we are discussing serious matters, we may as well do it in fine hobbit tradition. Fancy a snack?"

Bofur snuffled a quiet giggle, following Bilbo and the candle into the pantry. They decided on a quiet, labor-free snack of cheese and grapes, which they ate standing in the pantry like fauntlings snatching sweets before dinner. 

In between bites, Bilbo continued, "As far as your question, speaking for Kee and myself, we found a betrothal quite enriching. It came as a surprise to me because my betrothal to Thorin did not feel any different from the bond. Looking back, I think it might have been that way because Thorin assumed it was all the same and one was not treated as separate or any more special than the other."  
"Or perhaps what's between you and Kee was different to you altogether from what you had with Thorin." Bofur shrugged. "Fee worries about what an engagement means for him politically, particularly in regards to being away from the mountain for a few years like he has dreamed. I do not want to pressure him or cause him more harm than happiness."  
Bilbo replied thoughtfully, "If this is something you want, you must know it is highly likely Fee feels the same. Now you are safely several leagues from the mountain, he understands a betrothal does not mean you have to notify Erebor immediately. No, nor even a secret marriage, should you choose it. The two of you could have plenty of time to spend here and enjoy your autonomy before you need to make it a matter of state."  
Bofur exhaled in relief. "You're right. Thank you, Bee. I knew discussing things with you would help set my head right. Always does, you know."  
"I'm pleased I could help. Have you thought about how you might bring the subject up with him?"  
Bofur smiled conspiratorially. "That was the other thing I wished to discuss with you."

*****

The next morning, Bilbo was up uncommonly early for as little as he slept the night before. He worked in the kitchen, humming while he waited for the baking to finish. The household planned to have a late breakfast before scattering for the day. Fili and Kili were going to bring some seed cake to Dís as an offering on Bilbo's behalf. Bilbo planned to deliver a bit to Thorin, too, figuring the king would not be showing up for breakfast this day. 

With their usual impeccable timing as far as food was concerned, Fili and Kili showed up at the very moment breakfast was set out. They had been off doing who knew what that morning and came back with Gandalf, Bofur, and Bifur in tow. Once their meal was nearly obliterated, The cousins and the brothers headed for the inn. Gandalf had not spoken to Bilbo alone in a few days and requested they have a private, pleasant sit to catch up.

His tone was kind as he spoke. "You've had quite a flurry of activity, particularly given as it comes after a trying couple of days. How are you?"  
"As good as can be expected, I suppose," Bilbo answered.  
"Fili tells me you do not get along with their mother."  
"For my part, I like her just fine. It is true she does not have many good feelings towards me. I cannot say I blame her. Not only am I not a dwarf, but I have caused a rift between her closest and dearest family. I don't think I would like me much were I her, either. Still, we've managed to come to an understanding to get us through the wedding."  
Gandalf nodded. "Ah, the wedding--how are things coming along there?"  
"Oh, I think fairly well. I have never planned something of this scale before, so I am sure things will not go exactly the way we've set them, but no matter. As long as Kili and I are wed and fed by the end of the day, I shall consider it a resounding success."  
"Have you spoken more to Thorin?"  
Bilbo sighed. "It seems we might have worked things out enough to keep him from mourning us as dead? I'm not entirely sure, but that is my hope. Even so, I will have to admit we've made no progress on him leaving the Shire any less broken than he arrived."  
"Was that ever a promise you made him?" Gandalf asked gently.  
"No, and I'm not sure how I could keep it even if I had. I loved Kili the first time we left Erebor, but what is between us has grown beyond words. The time when I could choose Thorin over Kili has long since passed. To mend his heart, I'd have to break my own and I'm not willing to do it. I want no part of a future without Kili in it. In light of this, I do not know how I could ease Thorin's pain, but I cannot help but wish it for him."  
"Some things are simply not in your hands, Bilbo," Gandalf said. Subtly moving on, he asked, "What of your ring?"  
Bilbo stroked his betrothal ring before holding up his hand to show it to Gandalf.  
"No, your _other_ ring."  
"Oh. Huh," Bilbo said, furrowing his brow bemusedly. "I had been carrying it on my person since I found it, but it has been in my drawer for a few days. The last time I remember carrying it was while Kili, Bofur, and myself were at odds. As a matter of fact, I don't think I've thought of it since we put it all to rights. Isn't that odd, now?"  
"Yes," Gandalf replied slowly. "Odd, indeed. Well, best keep it stashed away for the time being, anyway."  
"True!" Bilbo emphatically agreed. "The last thing I need is some hobbit blindly running around the Shire with a ring that can render them invisible."  
"Quite. We wouldn't want anyone to get hold of it who would not take care of it as responsibly as you have."

Gandalf shot Bilbo a look that made him feel exposed. Bilbo guiltily recalled his first truly sexual encounter with Kili in Erebor and how it was aided by the ring in question. He coughed and cleared his throat.

"Yes. Right," he said nervously.

*****

Blessedly, somehow Bilbo avoided running into Kili, Fili, and Dís when he went to seek Thorin. The visit was not a secret from Kili, of course, but Bilbo hoped to avoid the judgement of Dís if he could.

Answering his door, Thorin was shocked to see Bilbo standing there.

"I-I had plans with Dwalin," Thorin stammered. "I though you were--well, this is a surprise. I had not expected you to call."  
Bilbo suddenly felt overwhelmingly self-conscious. "You said I could, you know, and I did not know if you'd be eating breakfast and I got up early to make seed cake for everyone and, um, here," Bilbo rambled, holding forth his basket of treats at the end.  
Thorin's eyes darted from the basket back to Bilbo. Smiling shyly, he reached out to accept it. "This was thoughtful, Bilbo. Please, come in for a moment."  
"I can go. I don't wish to keep you from your plans. My visit was unannounced..." Bilbo trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck.  
"I would be rude if I could not spare a moment or two for the bearer of cake."  
Closing the door behind Bilbo, Thorin encouraged him to sit.  
"How did you sleep?" Thorin asked.  
"Not well, I'm afraid. At least, not well until my body shut down on me whether I wanted to sleep or not."  
Thorin smiled knowingly. "That is more or less how I managed to sleep last night myself. Did you--did I keep you awake?"  
"I'd like to tell you no, but it would be a fib," Bilbo replied earnestly.  
Thorin slowly licked his lips, measuring his next words. "Bilbo, I do not have an answer for you, for this, for us."  
"I did not come seeking answers," Bilbo said softly. "I am here to enjoy a few moments in your company while you are still near enough for such things."  
Perplexed, Thorin asked, "Is that true?"  
The corner of Bilbo's mouth quirked up in a nervous smile. "Yes, and also to show you I care. I care that you have breakfast, I care that you have lovely things for said breakfast, I care that you aren't spending your days holed up in this inn when there are people outside its walls who love you, I just...care. I always have, even if I've not known what to do about it at times."

Thorin was appalled at the telltale tightening of this throat that meant tears were nigh. He took a deep breath to will them into submission.

"Those words mean a great deal to me. I care, too," he said.  
This time, Bilbo gave Thorin a full grin. "I know you do. The clothes you sneaked us from Erebor and the extra packs of food on our ponies alone were proof of that. Don't think for a moment that a hobbit would have missed such loving gestures."  
"I counted on you not to miss them," Thorin admitted. "I had always planned on spoiling you. Long before I realized we could be lovers, I was still planning your rewards for the amazing things you did to help further us on our way. After our more passionate confessions, well, I swore you would never want for anything."  
Bilbo looked at the ground and blushed. "Oh, Thorin..."  
Thorin reached over and tipped Bilbo's chin up. "I was worried for you for a while, you realize. Living a whole winter without meat, running around practically threadbare--I didn't know which one of you made me more furious! Kili, who was not seeing to it that you were fed and properly clothed, or you, for being so bloody _content_ with it when I had a mountain full of resources to shower upon you. You assured me it would be fine when you reached the Shire. You said the four of you would do just fine and you were right. It does me such good to see your cheeks fuller and to see you prance and preen in your lovely shirts and waistcoats."  
Bilbo argued but his tone was full of mirth. "I do _not_ prance!"  
Thorin laughed. "Fine, then, but I shall not recant 'preen.'"  
"I wish you would laugh more often, Thorin. It suits you incredibly well."

The smile stayed on Thorin's face as the laugh faded and they gazed into each other's eyes. A sharp rap on the door shook them from their reverie

"Dwalin!" said the voice behind the door.  
"Head down and I'll meet you at the Dragon," Thorin called.  
A muffled grunt was the answer. 

"Well," Bilbo said, standing and flapping his arms nervously against his sides, "I won't keep you any longer. This was...nice. You know you are always welcome, don't you? For breakfast, lunch, and all the rest?"  
"It was nice, indeed. Quite a lovely surprise. I appreciate the open invitation, Bilbo. I honestly do."  
Gazing at each other another couple moments, Bilbo said, "Right, then. I, ah, I'm off. Enjoy your day!"

Bilbo paused at the door with the knob in his hand. He turned, walked over to Thorin, pushed up on his toes, and tenderly kissed his cheek. 

"Make sure you don't forget to call for a meal," Bilbo murmured.

Thorin stared at the door as Bilbo closed it behind him, raising a hand to touch the spot Bilbo kissed. 

****

After breakfast and a visit with Dís and some of the other dwarrows, Fili begged off with errands. Dwalin and Thorin had not joined them, choosing instead to head off on their own. The air was pleasantly cool with full sun and few clouds, prompting Kili to offer his mother a walking tour of Bywater and Hobbiton.

As the rest of the company split off into various directions, Bofur excused himself as well.

"Must you go?" Dís asked, disappointed.  
"I'm afraid so, but we'll all surely manage another meal together before the day is out, right? Besides, I know Kee has been missing his Mam and would like some pleasant time with you."  
Bofur bowed deeply and took his leave. 

After he left, Dís told Kili, "Oh, I like Fili's Bo."  
"I rather like him, too."

Kili offered his arm to his mother as they walked. "I suppose you probably wish to tell me all the reasons you _don't_ like Bilbo after meeting him in person yesterday?"  
"No."  
"Nothing? There's nothing you want to say?" Kili clarified.  
"No."  
Kili stopped walking and peered into his mother's face. "Okay, now I'm concerned. What have you done with my Mam?"  
"Stop that!" Dís teased, tugging on Kili to resume their stroll. "After discussing things with Bilbo and Thorin, I've come to some conclusions."  
"Those conclusions are?"  
"One, this wedding will happen with or without my blessing. Speaking my concerns and being unkind might make me feel better, but it will not aid in creating a happy memory for you or your friends. Even should I bear out to be right in the end, spoiling your wedding day will not fix it now. Two, with this tangled mess you've all woven, having an uninvolved party try to separate it out for you will likely create more harm than help. Although I desperately wish to help restore goodwill between you and Thorin, or try to break the hold Bilbo has on the both of you, my good intentions would likely only have poor results."  
"I know you mean well. If you did not love me, you wouldn't care whom I married or what I did. In turn, simply because I'm following my heart does not mean I do not adore you and appreciate that you're my Mam."  
Dís squeezed Kili's hand.  
"Any more conclusions?" Kili asked.  
Dís nodded. "Lastly, no lad wants his mother nosing around the matters of his bedroom."  
Kili chortled. "That's the truest of them all! Did you get that one from Bilbo or Thorin?"  
"Thorin."  
"Well, he is king for a reason," Kili replied, still chuckling.  
Sighing, Dís said, "But a king still needs his princes. Now that you've come into your own, the two of you could guide him as much as he guides you...particularly Fili, as he is the immediate heir. I suppose there is no persuading your brother to come back with us, is there?"  
"You could try, though it would only likely strengthen his resolve to stay. You know it is not only me what keeps him here. He has ideas in his head of what kind of life he wants before he is locked in the mountain."  
"Locked in the mountain? You lads can be so dramatic."  
Kili rolled his eyes. "Figuratively, Mam. Once he truly takes on the duties of his title and his station, his life will not be his own any longer. He wants to live, love, and learn out in the world before he settles down to serve Erebor. I daresay it has already worked in Erebor's favor, too, as he is named Elf Friend in Rivendell and carries Lord Elrond's dagger. Whether you like elves or not, there is no denying Lord Elrond is a powerful ally to have. Who knows who else he may charm to have a care for the mountain before his return?"  
"I knew you spent good time in Rivendell, but I had not realized it was so politically productive!" Dís sighed, "It is difficult for me to remember that the two of you are not 20, 40, or even 60 any longer. You've gone and grown up on me, somehow. I suppose it is time for me to realize the two of you are capable of mature and wise decision-making. Fili is already taking steps toward leading a nation, even if some of those steps are being made half a world away."  
"We know what we are doing, Mam. I promise."

*****

Bilbo was counting the mathoms he had amassed in one of his rooms for giving away at the party. Being both his wedding as well as his birthday called for something a little extra. Since the road, Bofur had been making quick and simple toys in his free time for the attending children. Bilbo also had a bag of pennies and small coins he planned on distributing, converted from gold and silver between all the merchants in town. He feared coming up short even still, so Gandalf had performed a large favor and changed out some more for him in Bree. He planned on giving an actual gold piece to each of the closer households in the family. Bilbo commissioned a few particularly special gifts for the visiting dwarrows and most of those were sitting here finished as well. He only needed to see to less than a handful of other mathoms to be ready in time. A soft knock broke Bilbo's concentration. He turned to see Fili.

"I thought you had gone with the others," Bilbo said.  
"I told them I had errands to run. I wished to speak with you."  
"Is everything okay?"  
"Bo told me about your talk last night."  
Not wanting to inadvertently spoil a surprise if he misunderstood, Bilbo asked, "Which part?"  
Fili moved closer. "The part where you discussed taking each other's clothes off."  
"Did I overstep? Fee, I-"  
Fili brought a single finger to Bilbo's lips to shush him. "He said you had mentioned how the two of us had not discussed this properly yet and you were right. In light of this, I think I should make some things clear to you."

Bilbo stopped trying to explain himself, somewhat mesmerized by the intimacy of Fili's method of quieting him. Fili dropped his hand but held Bilbo's gaze.

"Please understand I do not wish to be offensive," Fili began, "but although I admired your courage, I did not see what held Kili in such thrall when he first confided in me his feelings. Compared to a dwarf, you were so slight and hairless...what was it about you, I wondered? Discovering you with Thorin brought a new level of intrigue beyond that. To have the king of Erebor so compelled that he would yield on all fours to let you possess him? I've bubbled with quiet curiosity since then, and the things I've discovered and witnessed have only served to increase it."

Fili knelt in front of Bilbo and looked up.

"The affection I have for you is not Thorin's, Kee's, or even Bo's, but the lust I have surely must be, for here I am--the last hold-out of the line of Durin--and I'm subjugated before you, wondering how you might stretch and moan beneath my lips." Fili paused to mouth over Bilbo's cock through his trousers. "I follow my king and my brother, which is of itself bizarre, perverted, and obscene. How does it feel, Bilbo, to have an entire kingdom's royal house bowing before your prick?"  
Fili's lips moved over the fabric again. Bilbo dropped his head back and groaned. "Fee, I...oh sweet Yavanna! B-but what about? Isn't it-"

Bilbo was trying to get a more meaningful thought past his lips but found himself quite unable to sort the jumble his mind was in.

Fili stood and gently held Bilbo into the wall at his shoulders. "I apologize if I took too many liberties by touching you, but I wanted to let you know in the clearest, most unmistakable terms that when Bo tells you this interests me, too, he does not lie. I'm only part of the conversation, though. Tell me, do you share a similar curiosity to mine?"

Bilbo swallowed hard and looked into Fili's eyes. It was remarkable how similarly the look of desire reflected in Thorin's, Kili's, and Fili's gazes.

"I think you feel my 'similar curiosity' struggling against my trousers," Bilbo answered. "I would not deny my blood flows hot with the thought of what it would feel like to have you, Bo, and Kee touching me and returning those pleasures myself."  
Fili pressed his body full against Bilbo and murmured into Bilbo's ear. "Bo and I talk about it, you know. In bed."  
"Oh?" Bilbo could feel where Fili's legs were on either side of his thigh...and where Fili's erection pushed against him as the dwarf spoke.  
"Oh, yes," Fili purred, voice dropping low. He reached down to cup over Bilbo's cock and rubbed over the cloth that covered it. "We imagine out loud for each other what it would be like to lick and kiss your body while Kee fucks you. We whisper until we are wild with such talk."

Bilbo was unable to suppress a whine. Fili moved his hand steadily, matching his own rhythm against Bilbo's thigh.

"We want to run our tongues over your cock at the same time, stroking along it, kissing each other when we reach the tip. While Kee has you nearing your limit, one of us will move up to kiss your neck," Fili paused to lick the aforementioned part, "or kiss your mouth. The other would be sucking you in to the hilt. As Kee filled you, you'd be filling us with cock and tongue."

Bilbo was panting, now. "Gods, Fee! If you dare describe our orgasms, I might come for real."

Fili was feeling close himself, grinding against Bilbo's thigh. For a moment, he considered it--coming against Bilbo, bringing the hobbit off with his voice and a bit of friction from the heel of his hand--but he summoned his strength and eased off. The reason for this seduction had been to show Bilbo how Bofur and Kili were not the only ones okay with this situation and he had made his point unmistakably clear.

"As much as I would love to see, hear, and feel that, Bo would never forgive me if I made you come before he did," Fili said. "I think you understand me, now, and it does not seem that a lack of desire for me is adding to your hesitancy."

Fili smoothed over Bilbo's shirt where he had disheveled him and kissed his forehead. "Bo and I realize you have more to consider in this matter than simply us. I am not attempting to pressure you; I only wanted to make it clear to you we have discussed this between ourselves and it is something that intrigues us both. Were this to continue, it would not be for Bo's benefit alone. Please believe, I would be far from suffering."  
"You dwarrows certainly have a thorough way of proving your points!"  
Fili laughed. "It is more fun that way, don't you think? Well, I'm going to leave you to your inventory. I actually did have errands other than you."  
"Thank you for the, um, clarity in your _position_ , as it were," Bilbo replied, winking.  
"My pleasure." Fili paused at the door, remembering something his mother said and chuckling thoughtfully. "You know, something about you bewitches the line of Durin, Bee. It seems I have not escaped it."

Alone once again, Bilbo slid down the wall, landing with a thud. " _Those dwarrows!_ " Bilbo thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your comments, recs, art, and more! I love you all to pieces.


	26. Closer And Closer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recent events are discussed and another wedding guest arrives in the Shire.

Dinner that evening was mostly at The Green Dragon for the visitors as well as Bilbo and his dwarrows. With their number growing, hosting a nightly feast was not impossible, but difficult to maintain for any unbroken period of days. Bilbo also thought both Dís and Thorin (for their own reasons) might feel more comfortable for a night on neutral ground. Bilbo did not see much of Thorin that evening, though the moments they had were warm if a bit awkward. He expected to be more shy in Fili's presence as well, but the dwarf went about the evening much as he always had. Perhaps his hand lingered a little longer at Bilbo's shoulder or his glance carried more spirit, but it was pleasant.

Bilbo noticed Nori and Dori spending more time with Ori, Thodora, and Chadham. He still had yet to figure out which one Ori was sweet on as it seemed to change by the hour. He was glad Ori's brothers weren't teasing him or shaming him for his new friends. He knew Ori had longed to visit the Shire and assert his independence. Although his brothers were here with him, they were letting him be himself with a minimal amount of fuss. Not going to Ered Luin with his older brothers was also probably good for Ori, while the fact Ori had been safe in the Shire with Bilbo seemed enough to have quelled Dori's protective anxiousness. 

*****

Home, naked, and rolling in their bed, Bilbo told Kili about Fili's afternoon seduction. 

Pinning Kili beneath him, Bilbo joked, "So it seems I'm the object of desire for you, your brother, and your uncle. What sort of family am I marrying into?"  
Kili slicked himself and grinded up against Bilbo's bare bum. "Obviously, the sort of family that has a thing for sexual hobbits."  
Bilbo wiggled against him, enjoying the slip of Kili against him without breaching him. He teased in reply, "Uh-oh, Balin and Dwalin are related to you, too, aren't they?"  
"Distantly, but yes," Kili said, increasing his rhythm. He barked a laugh. "Are you worried they might be next?"  
"Gods, could you even imagine?"  
"Who knows, maybe Dwalin has already thought of you choking on his giant, pierced cock."  
"Pierced? Giant?" Bilbo asked, somewhat horrified.  
"Oh yes, it is pierced. I've never seen it hard to know how giant it truly is, but I have to imagine from what I have seen that it is pretty impressive. Likely it is a good thing he mostly fancies dwarrowdams, because I could not imagine anyone taking that thing inside their arse." Noting the far off look on Bilbo's face, Kili said, "Are you thinking of sucking him off right now?"  
"No, I'm trying to fathom how much it would hurt to have a needle...oh, we have to talk about something else or I won't stay hard."  
"Pity, it was quite something picturing what Dwalin would do to you," Kili said, still rolling his hips against Bilbo. "Mahal, you feel so good rubbing against me."  
"You would let your cousins have a go at me, too? Why not simply tie me to a bed and supervise while the entire Elite Guard comes on me?"

Kili's hands gripped Bilbo's thighs tightly and he made a choked sound. His eyes flew open wide. Bilbo felt warm wetness against his backside.

"Kee, did that make you--did that make you _come_?"  
Pinned at the hip by Bilbo, Kili rolled half over into the pillow, covering his face with an arm. "I'm sorry," came the muffled reply.  
Bilbo leaned forward and moved Kili's arm away from his face. "Hey, what's this?"  
"This is so embarrassing," Kili said, eyes squeezed shut.  
"Kee," BIlbo said gently. "Do not be embarrassed. You know I love it when you're aroused. I was just surprised. You-you really like it, then? When other people-"  
"-I've told you before, I don't know how many times," Kili said miserably.  
"I know, but I thought you were, I don't know, conceding, or allowing it for the sake of my pleasure. I did not realize truly that it... _got you there_. So it would bring you off, then?"  
"Yes. To a point. Some things are better just being a fantasy--I don't think I would actually want the Royal Guard in our bedroom."  
"Or Dwalin."  
"Actually, it would be quite something to see Dwalin try to handle you."  
"Kee! I am not about to let Dwalin ram his cock inside my mouth."  
Kili moaned and rolled against Bilbo again, prick attempting to rally. "Keep talking," he said raggedly.  
"What am I going to do with you?" Bilbo exhaled.  
"Anything. Everything. Just don't stop touching me," Kili begged.

*****

Fili had Bofur stripped to nothing nearly the moment they walked in their bedroom.

"Oi, what's all this then?" Bofur asked. "Not that I'm complaining, mind."  
Between kisses, Fili rasped, "I've spent the entire afternoon aroused. I'm about to burst."  
Bofur tugged the last of Fili's clothes off. "Really? And what has you so wound up?  
Fili pushed Bofur back onto the bed, covering him with his own body immediately after.  
Kissing him passionately, Fili breathed, "I spoke to Bilbo today."  
Fili dipped back down for another kiss but Bofur stilled his head, cradling it in both his hands. "Spoke to him how?"  
"I clarified my thoughts for him, told him the things you wanted to do were my desire as well."  
Bofur made a desperate noise and pulled Fili's lips to his hungrily.  
Pulling away for breath, Bofur panted, "What did he say?"  
"I did not press him for a decision, but he confessed he might want it--us touching him, him stroking us."  
Bofur groaned lewdly. Fili whispered against his lips, "I told him we talk about it when we're naked, just like now. I told him how we get off. I-I touched him, Bo."  
Bofur's eyes flew open as he rolled Fili onto his back. "Touched him? How?" he asked urgently.  
"Through his clothes, I rubbed his cock while I told him about the dirty ways we talk about him. I stopped before he finished, though. I said you wouldn't forgive me if I got him there first."  
"Damn right I wouldn't!" Bofur asserted. "Gods, Fee...I don't know how he was able to resist you but I'm glad he did. I don't know what would have made me crazier--you getting him first or him topping you off without me able to see your face."  
"I don't know how he has resisted _you_ ," Fili replied. "The other night when you two were only clad in dressing gowns--had that been me with you begging for it, I would have had you against the kitchen counter."  
"Were it us, we would have had each other, I think. Why don't you relax and let me demonstrate how I would have taken care of you?"

Bofur pressed wet kisses down Fili's chest and stomach, pausing to nibble at his piercings, until he reached his cock. Taking his lover in, Bofur worked him over with maddening precision until Fili was coming on his tongue, stunned at the proficiency. Fili was still blinking and gasping when Bofur moved up to his ear. 

"Roll over," he growled.  
"Yes," Fili sighed, complying eagerly. 

****

Cuddling in post-orgasmic bliss, Bilbo hummed a small giggle.

"What?" Kili wanted to know.  
"I'm marrying you in mere days, we're still dealing with the issue of Thorin, your brother and his lover are scheming to get into our bed, and you are as calm as can be. It is funny, that."  
"Why is it funny?"  
"Because we spent weeks arguing over Thorin. The first time you left me was over Thorin merely kissing me. Now, you've allowed me to make love with him. In fact, you're getting off on the idea of other people taking me to bed. Could you imagine what you would have said back then if I told you that you were encouraging Fili's and Bofur's seduction practically on the eve of our marriage?"  
"I would have hated it back then," Kili admitted. "Things are different now. Back then, things with us were so uncertain. You weren't even ready to court me. I felt as though any moment I could lose you. The uncertainty drove me mad and made me jealous. After all the things we've been through and the things we've done, I'm much more sure about our future. It gives me the confidence to explore our desires."  
"And Thorin?"  
"I do not feel any longer like you will choose between us. You've chosen me, over and over, to the point that you were willing to die for it. It is up to you now whether you choose just me, or choose both of us, but I know I'm in no danger of being cast aside. It is an assurance you've had nearly the entire time I've been with you, so perhaps you do not realize how exhilarating and liberating it feels."

Bilbo pulled Kili tighter and turned his words over in his mind.

*****

Hamfast was the first to let Bilbo know about the commotion in town.

"Mister Bilbo! A giant has arrived! He has arrived and is looking for you, Mister Bilbo!"  
"A giant?" Bilbo replied. "Did he give his name?"  
Hamfast was already pulling on his hand. "He didn't say, no. Oh, you must come at once! It is causing an awful stir and I would hate to see what he'd do if he were angry!" 

Chuckling, Bilbo let Hamfast pull him along. Much as he suspected, he soon saw Beorn towering over a teeming group of murmuring hobbits. It seemed he was speaking with Isumbras. Bilbo was relieved he had thought to warn Isumbras ahead of time about how some of his wedding guests would be a bit exotic to the likes of hobbits. He had no doubt the calm presence of Isumbras was why Beorn was neither being attacked nor sending the townsfolk fleeing. 

Beorn saw Bilbo nearly immediately as the hobbit approached. "Bunny!" he shouted.  
Bilbo ran toward him and was quickly lifted from the earth. "Beorn! So good to see you!"  
"You as well," Beorn said. He shifted Bilbo toward his hip but did not lower him to the ground. 

They looked out over the crowd, which had gone still and stunned in the wake of the warm greeting.

"Excuse me, everyone," Bilbo said. "But this is my friend Beorn from the East. He is the one from the stories who fought alongside us in the great battle and who sheltered Fili, Kili, Bofur, and myself for the winter. It is his nature to be large, but he is kind if you be kind to him. If you are not kind to him, believe _my_ wrath will be more severe than his!"

A rumble of murmurs spread through the crowd. Beorn glanced around. It was his nature to be suspicious of outsiders, given all that had befallen those of his kind. Still, Bilbo's tales of his folk made them seem gentle enough, and he knew the dwarrows who had lived and loved under his roof would sooner fall than see him come to harm. It also did not escape his understanding that _he_ was the outsider here and not the other way around, as it usually was in his corner of his woods. The leader of this particular group of hobbits knew him immediately, which proved Bilbo had spoken about him ahead of time to minimize any potential incidents. Gazing out at these worried but kindly, curious faces--particularly as they softened during Bilbo's speech--Beorn made a decision.

"So many little bunnies! Are they all as merry as you?" Beorn asked.  
"Some even merrier," Bilbo replied.  
Beorn let out a great, hearty laugh that shook Bilbo's bones. "Well, then, well met, new friends!"

Several of the hobbits began first to smile, then to holler out "hellos" and echo back "well mets." Bilbo was almost shocked these were his fellow citizens, long known to be distrustful of anyone who wasn't a hobbit--and even of some who were! First, they had taken to Fili, Kili, and Bofur with unimagined ease and curiosity. Lately, they had gotten to where they barely batted an eye at the Ereborian dwarrows. Although Beorn's size created some manner of alarm and the forming of crowds, it was far from the problem Bilbo would have thought it to be. Perhaps he had not given his people enough credit over the years.

Bilbo said, "If you should put me down, I will lead you to our home so the dwarrows may reunite with you as well. Bag End is a bit small for you to find comfort for sleeping, but I have planned ahead especially for such accommodation."  
Beorn lowered Bilbo to his feet. "I look forward to seeing our lads again!"  
"Friends," Bilbo addressed the crowd, though not all of them deserved the title, "thank you for warmly welcoming Beorn. You will see more of him before the wedding, but now he is tired and hungry from his long, long road. Perhaps, if we are patient, he will tell us tales at a later time when his stomach is full. I happen to know he is particularly encouraged by sweets. If you are planning any food bribes, please know he does not eat meat. Thank you! We shall see you all soon!"  
They left together with Hamfast right alongside, as wide-eyed and curious as he had ever been. 

*****

Kili was at Bag End when Beorn arrived with the hobbits. Meeting them outside, his welcome was just as warm and rib-crushing as Bilbo's.

Setting Kili down, Beorn took off and began to dig through his enormous pack. "Here! I've brought you a gift for your union. Unfortunately, it cannot wait for the occasion."  
Beorn gave Bilbo and Kili a sack. Bilbo opened it. "Acorns?"  
"From your tree. First possible harvest this year, I culled them as I was leaving. I heard this fool romantic dwarf of yours mention he wanted to plant an acorn from your tree here in the Shire. As lovely as that notion is, he doesn't know much about planting. That acorn he's carrying around won't grow a tree; it is too dried out. You need fresh ones. I'll teach you how to winter them later tonight."  
Kili looked at Beorn in astonished awe. "That is--I don't even know what to say."  
Bilbo was also touched. He said, "'Thank you' would be a definite way to start. How fitting and thoughtful!"

It was no minute effort getting Beorn through the door of Bag End and into the dining area, an issue Bilbo hadn't taken into account the same way he did Beorn's bed and bath. Bilbo did not have a single chair to hold him, so he had to sit on the floor.

"Oh, this is terribly embarrassing! And you had been such a good host to us!" Bilbo fretted.  
"You are getting worried over nothing," Beorn assured him. "Good friends, good food, and good intentions are more important than a good chair."  
"I was sure I had enough space for all our celebrants, but now I'm beginning to wonder if I shouldn't find some other place altogether for us to have our dinners between now and then," Bilbo said.  
Kee kissed Bilbo's cheek. "We'll get it figured out, Bee. This place is huge and we can move some things around temporarily. Besides, once Beorn gets a full stomach of hobbit cooking, he won't care where we've got him stuffed."  
"Quite right! Tell that brother of yours he is not getting out of making me his glorious bread," Beorn laughed.  
"I have a feeling you couldn't stop him if you tried," Bilbo replied.  
"Speaking of Fee, where did he run off to?" Kili asked.  
Bilbo squinted an eye. "Hmmm, I'm not sure. He's been disappearing with Bo quite a bit, likely working on the wedding gift we're supposed to pretend we don't know about."  
"Bo has done some disappearing himself. When Fee found you the other day, Bo took off without Fee or Bifur either one. I wonder what else they've been up to?"  
Bilbo suppressed a smile. "Difficult to say."


	27. Smials and Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What were Fee and Bo up to while Beorn was shaking up the Shire?

Having spent the morning in the wood shop to put the final touches on the wedding gift, Fili and Bofur were unaware of the commotion Beorn's arrival had whipped up.

"Done! With a couple days yet to spare," Fili said, satisfied.  
Bofur grinned, surveying their work with his hands on his hips. "Okay, we made it so now someone _else_ can move it."  
"It will be a group effort, no doubt about it," Fili noted, pensively stroking his beard, "but I don't expect we're getting out of it that easily."  
"I was afraid you were going to go making sense like that." Bofur held his hand out. "Fancy a bit of a stroll before we go in search of food?"

The pair wandered happily in the bright, autumn sunshine. They passed the mill, walking in the eventual direction of Bag End. Bofur insistently tugged Fili toward a familiar, vacant smial in the hill. 

"Here, let's investigate," Bofur urged.  
"Bo! This isn't our property!"  
Bofur turned the doorknob. "It is not as though folks live here. Besides, the door is open."  
"Most of Hobbiton and Bywater can be found unlocked on a nightly basis, but we don't invite ourselves in," Fili argued, nevertheless stepping into the foyer.

The smial was large and mostly excavated, a fair amount of the flooring and woodworking already in place. Some of the necessities of life had even been installed in the kitchen and the bath.

"I was thinking of having another couple rooms dug out so it would be about as large as Bilbo's," Bofur said casually.  
"Pardon?"  
Bofur gently grasped Fili's hand. "I know you've a particular fondness for the story of how Bilbo's father had Bag End built for his missus to get her to marry him. I thought, perhaps, maybe I might have the same luck?" he asked, a hopeful expression on his face.  
Fili's eyes grew huge. "Bo?"  
"I've bought the floor you're standing on in the hopes you would agree to marry me. Will you, Fee? We can stay betrothed as long as you need to avoid going back to Erebor and-"  
"Shut up, Bo," Fili said with a wide grin, pulling him close to claim his mouth. Fili kissed him until they were both nearly breathless.  
"My answer is yes," Fili said.  
Bofur clutched him close.  
After a few moments, Fili asked, "Um, when did you purchase this space?"  
"Yesterday. The seller--Lenward, his name was--said someone was about to buy the place, so I had to move fast."  
Fili stepped back in surprise. "Lenward, that old scamp! I was the one about to buy it! We had been going back and forth over whether he was going to have the rooms excavated or whether I had to find someone to do it!"  
"Scamp indeed! He was the one to give me the idea to excavate more space! Of course, _he's_ taking care of that part. I made sure of that."  
"I can't believe it! You truly can talk just about anyone into anything. We should have sent you down to Smaug--we might have gained ourselves a beast to ride!"  
"I don't know about that," Bofur laughed. He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Fee, why were you going to buy this place?"  
Fili smiled shyly. "To end our courtship and most hopefully begin our betrothal."  
"I'll be dipped and fried! Don't that just beat all?" Bofur said. "Ol' Lenward knew, too, because he knows we're both living with Bilbo."  
"He might be an opportunist, but he is at least an opportunist that can keep a secret."  
"I will," Bofur said firmly, as though he were suddenly part of a different conversation.  
Fili furrowed his forehead. "Will what?"  
"I'll marry you," Bofur said. "On one condition."  
Fili barked a laugh. "You just asked me to marry you but you will only accept my proposal on a condition? Very well. What are your terms?"  
"I should like us to wear rings as Bilbo and Kili do."  
Fili laughed again, more heartily. He kissed Bofur soundly. "You, my love, will have as vulgar a ring as you can stand. I shall forge it myself."

****

Once Beorn was provided with a worthy lunch, Bilbo had word sent to the inn to let the dwarrows there know Beorn had arrived--and to alert them there would be a feast tonight at Bag End. Holman, Hamfast, and a few extra pairs of hands had also gone out with coin and the wagon to borrow tables and chairs. After showing Beorn to his nightly accommodation to clean up and have a nap, Bilbo, Kili, Ori, Thodora, and Chadham visited the market, buying all manner of supplies and already-cooked lovelies to delight the guests. Fili and Bofur were home when this group arrived with their prizes. No time was wasted informing Bofur and Fili of their special visitor. Fili set to preparing loaves of bread right away, jockeying for counter space with Kili who was trying to make as many pies as possible. Thodora offered him use of her mother's oven so Bilbo's would be free for both bread and beast. Beorn had given them leave to serve meat; he merely declined to eat it himself.

After a while, Fili's bread was rising and Ori, Chadham, and Thodora had left with Kili's pies to be baked elsewhere. Kili's glance flicked between Fili and Bofur, who had been making eyes at each other and giggling from the moment he arrived home from market.

"The two of you certainly seem chipper today," Kili noted.  
"Of course! Beorn is in the Shire, the sun is out, and we're going to be as fat as ticks tonight! What more could we want?" Bofur replied.  
Kili crossed his arms and nodded slowly. "And?"  
"And what?" Fili said innocently.  
"And you _know_ what," Kili countered. "The last time you looked like this, the two of you had bonded for the first time. Out with it."  
Bofur gazed lovingly at Fili. "It's up to you."  
Taking a large breath, Fili said, "We were going to wait to tell you because we did not want to take away from a time that is by all rights about the two of you, but..."

Fili trailed off and looked to Bofur, not quite sure how to make the announcement.

"But," Bofur continued on Fili's behalf, "It appears Kili is no longer the only brother with an official betrothal."  
"What?" Kili exclaimed. "Mahal, that is bloody fantastic!"  
Bilbo grinned wide. "You did it, then?"  
Whirling to face Bilbo, Kili asked, "You knew about this?"  
"Yes, he helped me find someone who would sell me a smial," Fili replied.  
Bofur was astonished. "Wait, he helped _you_ find someone? Bilbo helped you find Lenward? He introduced _me_ to him, too!"  
"You knew about both of us? The whole time? Knew we were planning the exact same thing?" Fili asked.  
"Yes," Bilbo said, still grinning.  
"But-how? What if-" Bofur stammered.  
Bilbo shrugged. "I figured since you both had the same delightful intentions, it would work itself out in the end...and it did!"  
"You knew they were planning, uh, whatever it was they were planning, and you didn't tell me?" Kili looked at Bofur and Fili. "Seriously, he did not breathe so much as a whisper about this to me. About either of you."  
All eyes were suddenly on Bilbo. He laughed and said, "I'll have you know I can keep a secret amazingly well, particularly when it is important."  
Bofur shook his head. "Kee, you'd best not take your eyes off this one. He is more sly than I ever knew."  
"Since you're so good at secrets, we'd like you to keep another one," Fili said. "I am tremendously proud of my Bo, but we cannot breathe a word of this to anyone until after the company departs for Erebor. We have agreed on a long engagement and potentially two weddings: perhaps one here, in secret, and the eventual full-blown affair in Erebor. I fear once royally wed and inside the mountain, leaving again may not be an option for us. We would like to put that off as long as possible."  
"Yes, if Dís, Thorin, or--The Maker forbid--Balin find out we have taken this next step, it will quickly grow out of our hands," Bofur added.  
"Not a word, Fee," Kili promised. "So, tell me about this clandestine plan that my beloved helped you orchestrate without my knowledge. I'm dying to know!"  
Fili grasped Bofur's hand, beaming. "Well, you know how much I love the tale about Bilbo's father building Bag End for his mother..."

*****

Hamfast ran to Bag End as fast as his feet could move him for the second time in less than a day. So excited was he, the hobbit didn't even knock upon arrival and simply let himself in.

"...and then we sucked each other off, right there on the dirt floor," Bofur was saying when Hamfast stumbled, breathless, into the dining room.

"Hamfast! My lad, what ever is the matter now?" Bilbo asked, concerned.  
With eyes wider than the last time he fetched Bilbo (were such a thing possible), Hamfast replied, "Begging your pardon, Mister Bilbo, but-" 

He paused for a gulp of air to give the next words their proper reverence. 

" _Elves_ , Mister Bilbo. There are _elves_ in the Shire!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short but hopefully sweet. Surprise!


	28. Bilbo's Full House Pt. 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's coming to dinner?
> 
> Just about everyone.

Once again, Bilbo allowed Hamfast to breathlessly lead him, this time followed by Bofur, Kili, and Fili. As suspected, causing the stir were their friends from Rivendell: Nîfon, Nerithel, and Nerithel's partner, Daerbes. They rode horses, one pulling a small cart. Like Beorn, the elves had caused quite a ruckus amongst the hobbits, though there was far less initial fear and much more awe for this trio. The elves dismounted and hugged their missed friends in greeting. Once again, Bilbo found himself addressing a group of amazed hobbits.

"As you can plainly see, more of our wedding guests have arrived," Bilbo said, feeling rather proud. "These are our dear friends from Rivendell, Nîfon, Nerithel, and Daerbes."

The hobbits whispered amongst themselves, an astonished "Rivendell!' leaving more than one pair of lips. 

"Bilbo and Kili," Nerithel began. "Our Lord Elrond sends his deepest regrets he could not be missed from Imladris long enough to be here with you for such an occasion. He sends us on his behalf, and we also bear small tokens from other friends who could not be here."

At the mention of Lord Elrond's name, murmurs began again. When Bilbo and the dwarrows first arrived, many of their pub tales were regarded as exaggerated, if not purely fancy by some of the skeptics amongst the Shirefolk. As more dwarrows had arrived and the name of Erebor shook off the dust of legend, less of the stories seemed padded. In the course of one day and four visitors, even the staunchest of doubters stood in awe. No one knew quite _how_ Bilbo managed it, but it seemed the odd little son of a Took truly had done all things he had claimed--and knew the folks he claimed to know. The crude whispers of "Mad Baggins" that had been shared through the Shire in the wake of Bilbo's bizarre disappearance were all but gone. Oh, many still thought he was quite mad, but the title would now be uttered with pride and wonder. 

"We also bear wine at Lord Elrond's request. He said it was for the post-wedding party, as he figured some of the supply he sent home with you may have dwindled in your travels," Nîfon said, grinning.  
"Believe it or not, we managed to keep a fairly tight hold on it, though I am glad you bring more. A group of dwarrows arrived from Ered Luin to accompany the Princess Dís, Between them, the dwarrows from Erebor, and my fellow hobbits, I'm rather certain we shall drink through both supplies!" Bilbo replied.  
"Princess Dís? How lovely it shall be to meet your mother," Nerithel said to Fili and Kili.  
Kili shifted nervously. "I hope she finds it as lovely to meet you."  
"What he means to say is-" FIli looked around, suddenly realizing over two dozen hobbits were listening raptly to their every syllable. Perhaps this wasn't a matter for the community. He raised his eyebrows at Bilbo. 

Bilbo cleared his throat. "My dear hobbits, many of you will see more of our elf friends in the days to come, but now we must lead them toward food and closer company. You would not wish to seem rude, gawping at them like portraits on display, would you?"

As no hobbit wanted to be accused of poor manners, Bilbo's words did the trick. The crowd dispersed with bows and apologies, leaving the elves, the dwarves, and Bilbo free to walk. 

"As I was saying," Fili continued, "Our mother is having a little, ah, _difficulty_ adjusting to some of Kili's and my diversions from dwarven tradition."  
Kili added, "Such as marrying hobbits."  
"I fear more than a little that our family's poor history with the elves of the Greenwood may lead her to speak sharp words to you and I beg your forgiveness in advance," Fili said.  
"Perhaps you worry needlessly," Daerbes offered. "She is a princess and may be more gifted in matters of diplomacy than you realize."  
Bilbo chimed in, "I'm afraid Fili might be right. She has made no secret of her disdain with Kili's choice of mate and, although she and I may have come to an agreement for the love of him, it was not without its share of rough words."  
"We don't want you to hate us if our kin be rude," Kili said.  
"Worry not. We have experienced less with grace. Although you are proud dwarrows, you and Fili have proven many times that you are also a bit more...progressive than many of your people we have encountered. We expect a bit of a chilly reception from the others," Nîfon assured him. 

Hamfast listened to all of this with a great deal of interest. In addition to being amazed the elves were talking to Bilbo like they were old friends, he was fascinated that so much had been going on behind closed doors. He vowed to lock it all away in his mind, lest he tempt the wrath of Bilbo's friends--all who seemed beyond the bounds of what he had heretofore known as the natural world.

*****

With new arrivals, there was a greater whirl of activity to make both space and food. Bofur helped Hamfast and Holman drop off the wine and get the horses to the stables while Bilbo showed the elves to their boarding accommodations.

Pulling a special bottle from her pack, Daerbes presented it to Bilbo. "We thought perhaps you and your love might not have been able to save your special bottle for your wedding night, so the three of us wanted to gift you with another specifically for the occasion."  
Grinning, Bilbo accepted the gift happily. "Are you suggesting hobbits and dwarrows have no willpower?" he teased.  
"We simply figured the practicality of hobbits would win out long before the 22nd of September arrived. Why put off pleasures for tomorrow when they could be had today?" Nîfon teased back.  
Bilbo bowed in gratitude, flushing pink past his collar. "At the risk of being indelicate, I can tell you this is much appreciated and will be put to gracious use."  
Nerithel chuckled and patted Bilbo's shoulder. "Were we strangers to such matters, Daerbes would not bottle such delights to be consumed."

*****

Bilbo could not linger, as the dinner party was happening sooner than later, and the group from Rivendell followed him back to Bag End. They were terribly complimentary toward the smial's beauty and the craftsmanship contained therein. Bilbo thought they were merely being polite, but his pride swelled all the same. Although he insisted Nîfon, Daerbes, and Nerithel relax as guests, they insisted on helping him prepare for the coming evening. Bilbo was still fussing and fretting over details when Beorn reappeared. He introduced Beorn to his friends from Rivendell.

Nerithel bowed deeply before she spoke. "It is our great pleasure to meet you, Beorn, for we have heard many, many lovely stories about you and your kindness. Bilbo, Kili, Fili, and Bofur hold you in the highest regard."  
"You are most kind, my lady," Beorn replied, bowing in kind. 

While the guests were getting to know one another, Bofur returned with the hobbits. 

"Mister Bilbo? Will you be needing anything else?" Holman asked.  
Bilbo mentally went through his list. "No, you've been a tremendous help today. Although I hoped our guests would make it to the Shire, I had not anticipated two such groups arriving in one day, nor had I realized my home was not quite equipped for the merry dinners I had been imagining all this time. Have I given you enough coin for how much I've run you?"  
"Likely double! We'll leave you to it, then," Holman replied.  
"Please, stay for dinner," Kili insisted, sliding behind Bilbo to steal a quick kiss on the cheek. "That is, if it is acceptable to your missus and Hamfast's mother?"  
"Yes, you must!" Bilbo agreed. "I've arranged chairs, tables, and food for a veritable army."  
Hamfast blinked rapidly in disbelief. "Stay? Stay and have dinner with _elves_? Elves and a giant?" he asked, awestruck.  
Bilbo said, "Would that not please you?"  
Suddenly a ball of energy, Hamfast said, "No! I mean yes! Of course it would please me. I-I, wait, hold on, I'll be right back!"  
Hamfast ran down the road, calling back over his shoulder. "I've just got to tell my mam!"  
Beorn laughed. "I think you just made that lad's day!"  
Holman shook his head, also chuckling. "More like his year. He's always had his head half in the clouds with stories of fancy, but a good head I assure you it is, Mister Beorn. When it is time for tasks, he pays attention to what's what."

As Hamfast disappeared over the hill, a fresh commotion came up it. Ori and a procession of Thodora, Chadham, Nori, Dori, Bifur, and Oin came up the road, each carrying either Kili's pies or something to contribute to the feast. Dwalin, Dís, and Thorin were not far behind. Once the foodstuffs were set aside, a new round of introductions were in order. The Ereborian dwarrows greeted Beorn warmly once again, most having last seen him just after the battle. Ori was very proud to introduce Thodora and Chadham to Beorn, and Bilbo wasn't sure which side of the party Ori was proudest to present to the other. 

Thorin nodded ceremoniously in greeting to the skin-changer. "Well met again," he said.  
Beorn leaned down to speak more personally. "Greetings, Thorin, King Under The Mountain. I must say, you were one of the last fellows I thought I'd see here for this."  
"I do not think you could be more surprised than I was to find myself on the road leading here," Thorin responded. "I behaved less than honorably when last we were together. I would like you to know I have attempted to make amends."  
Beorn shook his head. "If Bilbo and Kili welcome you, which they clearly do, that is good enough for me. I shall not judge you unless they come to tears or harm."  
Thorin nodded deeply once more.

Fili and Kili brought Dís over to meet Beorn for the first time. "Beorn, this is our mother, Dís."  
Beorn knelt before her and took her hand. "Ah, the mother and princess! This is quite the honor."  
Dís politely dipped in curtsey. "I owe you much for sheltering and feeding my sons for the hard winter this year. They say they owe you their very lives."  
Beorn smiled. "They were a joy, I assure you. I am truly happy to see them again, and to meet you as well."

The remainder of the dwarrows from Ered Luin arrived as Bilbo was trying to figure the best way to introduce the elves to the rest of the group from Erebor. 

Bilbo announced, "Friends from the mountains, both Erebor and Ered Luin, I would like you to meet Nerithel, Daerbes, and Nîfon. They are our dear friends from our recent trip to Rivendell."  
Turning to speak to the elves, he indicated the dwarves. "These are our battle-kin from our long journey. I'm certain you remember their names from our stories, and now you can see to whom those names belong. This is Dwalin, Oin, Bifur, Ori, Nori, Dori-"

Bilbo led the elves in front of the line of dwarves that had formed, each nodding in greeting as their names were called. Bilbo paused in front of Thorin, introducing him with reverence, pride, and great affection. 

"And this is Thorin, King and Champion of Erebor."

All three elves moved to genuflect for the king, to his surprise.

"Your Highness," Nîfon said. "We are pleased to meet you at long last."

The rest of the dwarrows held a collective breath to see how Thorin would receive the trio. His behavior would cue their own, as their code dictated, but there was also a fair amount of personal curiosity. Thorin hadn't been particularly kind in Rivendell.

Thorin was moved by the unexpectedly humble greeting of the elves, but doubly so by Bilbo's loving introduction. He bowed shallowly.

"The pleasure is mine. I thank you and your kin for so kindly looking after my own. Fili and Kili told me they flourished in Rivendell, in spite of my earlier behavior." Gesturing to the side, he continued, "This is their mother and my sister, Princess Dís of Erebor."

The elves bobbed in respect.

"Although my family has received grievous insult and loss in the past due to the actions--inactions, truly--of elves, my sons cannot say enough kind words about you," Dís said. "I will endeavor to set grudge aside in light of their endorsement. I hear Fili and your Lord Elrond have formed a bit of an alliance of their own. It is not my desire to upset such a thing."  
Nerithel replied, "I cannot speak for the past nor for the actions of the elves of what was formerly the Greenwood, Princess Dís, but Fili, Kili, and Bofur have given us a deeper appreciation--not only of the struggles of your kin but of the strength and wisdom of your people."

It was then that Gandalf arrived, clearly thrilled both to see the elves and to be reunited with Beorn. 

With the most fraught introduction having gone smoothly, Kili and Fili allowed themselves to relax. Fili could see the words and deference of the elves had a positive affect on Thorin, in particular. With the potential for disaster seemingly averted, the different groups began to cautiously blend and chat idly amongst themselves as they waited for dinner. 

*****

Bilbo worked hard loading the table, seating the guests, and generally hosting the largest gathering Bag End had ever seen within its walls. Thirteen dwarrows and a wizard were nothing compared to this! Gandalf, Daerbes, and Kili all three had to beg him to sit to merely get Bilbo to eat a bite of his own dinner.

"We finished your wedding gift," Fili said to Bilbo and Kili. "I'm sure by now you've figured out we've been disappearing frequently to create you the bed I promised you all those weeks ago on the road."  
Bilbo grinned, "I hoped you were, though I had no idea how you managed to make all the arrangements without my assistance."  
"We have our ways," Bofur said.  
Fili winked. "'Our ways' being Bo's charm, of course."  
Bilbo nodded in mock seriousness. "Ah, yes--a very difficult thing for hobbits to resist."  
"We could save it until the wedding is over and this flurry of activity has calmed, but we thought it would be fitting to have it moved in before the two of you marry," Fili said.  
"That would certainly be worth the trouble of moving a couple rooms around," Bilbo replied. "I think we could manage it tomorrow morning, don't you?"  
"Well, that's a bit of the problem," Bofur explained. "We will not finish assembly until we fit it through the necessary doors, but we'll need some help getting it there. I think you'll need some help, too, if you don't want to spend the entire day preceding your wedding wearing out your muscles on rearranging your rooms."  
Bilbo shrugged. "I expect it should be no problem. We'll retrieve the wagon for transport from wherever you've got it tucked. I'll bet Holman and Hamfast wouldn't mind diverting from the garden for a day for some extra coins. Perhaps Ori, Thodora, and Chadham would be willing to help me out on this end, getting the other bed ready to move rooms? If need be, I'm sure I could hire some more hobbits."  
"Nonsense!" Beorn interjected. "You've got your home stuffed to the gills with some of the strongest in the land! I can only volunteer myself, of course, but I am willing to bet many folks who love you enough to travel halfway across the land and dine in your home also love you enough to help move some furniture. You know I like to say that many hands make light work! There should be no need to ask any others."

Not to be shown up by Beorn, several of the other dwarves volunteered on the spot.

Kili beamed. "That settles it, then! Tomorrow morning it shall be."

*****

Dís watched Bilbo discreetly throughout the meal. Regardless of her reservations, she had to admit he had managed to earn the respect and love of an immense variety of people. Beorn, the elves, and the dwarrows weren't solely there for her Kili, after all. It also did not escape her notice that Bilbo was running himself ragged to make sure everyone had an enjoyable meal. After the discussion about taking the day before the wedding--one that should be restful before such a long, busy event--to clean house and move furniture, Dís started making quiet plans of her own. Bilbo (and Kili) could not possibly host another such dinner tomorrow, though she knew enough about the hobbit now to realize he might try. Bilbo and Kili were getting married in a couple days, whether she liked it or not, and it would simply not do for Kili and his new husband to be falling asleep in the middle of their vows. 

*****

Thorin coaxed Bilbo outside in between dinner and the serving of dessert. Bilbo's attention and energy had been so divided this evening, he had scarcely recalled the tension between them until he looked into Thorin's eyes.

"I've thought about our...predicament," Thorin began.  
"Now?" Incredulous, Bilbo glanced toward the house. "My home is filled to bursting with a summit of dwarrows and elves and you wish to discuss this _now_?"  
Thorin shuffled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "I-I...nevermind."

Thorin moved to go back toward the house. After so much worry and uncertainty, it dawned on Bilbo that he should be thankful Thorin wanted to talk at all. He reached out to grab Thorin's arm. 

"Wait! I apologize. I just didn't think--go on, please. I truly would like to hear what you have to say," Bilbo said.  
Thorin turned to face him, huffing out a mighty breath. "I feel as though I'm continually telling you I was wrong about this thing or that. I've tried to win you back, I've tried to let you go, I've even tried to leave you for dead. None of these have worked, not for you and not for me. I truly thought this last great idea of mine was the solution. I believed it so much I removed a braid for it. Perhaps if you had allowed it to be, I could have done it, but I'm not strong enough. I'm not strong enough to hold to it when you and Kili are begging for it not to be so. If I'm being honest, I doubt I could have sustained it for long besides."  
Bilbo swallowed hard, staring into Thorin's face for clues. "What are you saying?"  
Thorin scrubbed a hand over his face. "I don't know. I don't know what I'm saying anymore, don't know what I'm doing. My bed is empty but my heart is full and aching. I see you tonight, though, shining like a beacon, surrounded by all manner of people who love you, and I can't--I can't do what I had been planning. How can I mourn you when you are so full of life, when you and Kili are so much a part of _my_ life?"  
Bilbo's lip quivered. "Please say I can hold you for a moment?"

Thorin embraced Bilbo tightly in lieu of a reply. Bilbo tried not to cry, not wanting to explain puffy, weepy eyes to a houseful of guests.

"What do we do now?" Bilbo asked, muffled in Thorin's hair.  
"I do not know. I still love you, and you're still marrying Kili."  
"I love you, too. I don't know how to keep from hurting you, not without hurting myself."  
Thorin exhaled roughly. "That is not a worry for tonight. I would not have taken you aside at all, but I thought perhaps telling you my decision would have given you one less thing about which to fret. Perhaps I was in error-"  
"No, no! Gods, _Thorin_! You could have woken me in the middle of the night for that news! I was out of my mind with grief thinking you were going to mourn Kili and me as dead! The timing is somewhat regrettable, but I would not have wanted to wait another moment to find out. I just...I do not know where to go from here."  
Thorin kissed Bilbo's hair. "Neither do I."

Bilbo listened to laughter from the house echo out into the night as Thorin held him quietly for another moment or two.

"Well," he said, hoping to lighten the mood. "How about some of Kili's pie, for starters? Or maybe some of Willow Fernwood's cake I bought at the market today? I've heard it is delicious enough to make a blind hobbit see color!"  
Thorin managed a laugh. "How could I turn that down?" 

*****

Clearing the table with Fili, Bofur watched Thorin whisper in Bilbo's ear and lead him away from the party. He scowled to himself as they stacked the plates.

"You keep making that face and it will stick that way," Fili teased him quietly, tugging him down the hall for a more private discussion. "What is vexing you?"  
"I'm not jealous of you and I'm not jealous of Kee, but I'm bloody fucking jealous of Thorin," Bofur replied, still scowling. "Does that even make sense?"  
"Perfect sense. Thorin was Bilbo's lover and you resent him for it. You remind me a bit of Kee in that respect. He was crazy with jealousy for that very reason until he took Bilbo to bed himself. Moreover, with you being how you are, I think a greater share of your irritation comes from Thorin's lack of appreciation for Bilbo when they were together. It was bad enough back then, but now you believe Thorin deserves him less than ever."  
"Suppose that does ring true. Damn, Fee, when did you get to know me so well?"  
Fili kissed Bilbo comfortingly. "Perhaps, if Bilbo rethinks our more intimate arrangements, Thorin will not enrage you so, as in a sense you will be sharing Bilbo."

Bofur grunted and shrugged, but could not foresee any arrangement in which he would share Bilbo with the dwarf.

"If it makes you feel better, Thorin is likely jealous of you, too," Fili said. "More than likely; he's practically told me so."  
Bofur scoffed. "Me? Why me?"  
"Think about it. In less than two weeks, Thorin goes back to the mountain. Who stays here with Bilbo? Who is one of his very best friends? Who eats most of his meals with him? You may envy Thorin's past but believe me, Thorin envies your future."  
"You sure have a way of putting things," Bofur said.  
Fili shrugged. "Just the true things."

Fili's words floated through Bofur's mind when Thorin and Bilbo returned for dessert. Although he did not appreciate any lingering looks between Bilbo and Thorin, it occurred to him Thorin probably did not love the tender glances Bilbo gave Bofur, either. 

*****

"Everything okay?" Kili whispered into Bilbo's ear when the hobbit returned.  
Bilbo nodded. "Good news, I'll tell you later."

With several compliments (many from full mouths), not a crust of Kili's pies survived the night. Hamfast and Bifur mock-warred with forks over the last piece. Bifur allowed the young hobbit to be triumphant, but Hamfast graciously split it and gave Bifur half, anyway. 

Sitting back, Kili glanced around at the amazing assemblage of people, all there just for them. He let the warmth of it wash over him. After a lifetime of feeling like nothing special, he felt quite extraordinary indeed.


	29. Bilbo's Full House Pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-dinner festivities.

Chadham, Thodora, and Hamfast took it upon themselves to handle the massive amount of dishes so that Bilbo would be free to enjoy his company. Talking amongst themselves, each of them could scarcely believe the unprecedented gathering in Bag End that evening. Ori's hobbits were a little more accustomed to the close company of dwarves, but they were thankful to be present just the same. Hamfast was nearly beside himself with excitement, too, and half-sure he might yet be dreaming. They hurried as much as they could, hoping not to miss out of any post-dinner merriment that could break out any moment after pipes were smoked.

While the hobbits washed, the dwarves, Bilbo, Gandalf, and Holman helped themselves to the tub of Longbottom Leaf Holman had picked up earlier that day at Bilbo's request. While the rest smoked, Beorn talked Kili through how to properly winter his acorns so they would be viable sprouts when the weather warmed next year. The large man did not fit very comfortably down the hall the to cold cellar, or he would have been happy to do it himself. The elves declined offers of pipes, though it gladdened Fili's heart that Nori and Bifur made a point of offering before he and Bofur had the chance. It was a good sign.

Fili subtly turned his attention to Thorin. Regardless of what was hanging in the air between Thorin, Bilbo, and Kili as far as the mourning business went, Thorin could not have avoided this feast without offense to their out of town guests. Fili was thankful that Bilbo and Kili had gotten Thorin to consider his stance, at least long enough to get through such a gathering. Looking closer, there was something different about Thorin this evening. An air of melancholy was still about him, as to be expected, and the king was fairly silent, but his grin was not as difficult to rouse as it had been in recent days. Bilbo also did not look sad when he looked at Thorin, instead smiling kindly and sweetly. Fili wondered about their private conversation--and what Bofur would be making of this shift in moods.

Unsurprisingly, Beorn was the first to call for a song. Fili and Kili fetched their fiddles while Bofur readied his whistle. They started with the drinking song Bilbo had been taught back in Lake Town so that the dwarves would sing along. Beorn and Gandalf knew it too, of course, and by the end, even the elves were singing the chorus. To return the favor, Bilbo and Bofur began a song learned in Rivendell, quickly joined by Nerithel, Daerbes, and Nîfon. The dwarves--even Dís--sat listening, captivated by the beauty. Bifur, Dori, and Oin joined the melody on the second chorus by humming long notes, not being familiar with the language. It brought tears to Hamfast's eyes, though he could not explain why.

"Sing your song, Bilbo!" Oin requested next.  
"Yes! You must!" Dori agreed.  
Bilbo furrowed his eyebrows in puzzlement. "My song? Which song is my song?"  
"The song you sang in Lake Town, the bewitching one," Dwalin answered.

Bilbo regarded Dwalin, slightly stunned, and he was not alone. It was no secret Dwalin only spoke to Bilbo when necessary, still carrying the grudge on Thorin's behalf.

Glancing at Bofur, Bilbo said, "Would you assist me?"

Singing with Bilbo always gave Bofur a softly swirling warmth in his middles, but this song in particular had the loveliest effect. Had he no voice at all, Bofur still would not be able to say no. He nodded.

Bilbo kissed Kili, leaning in to whisper, "For you and a lovely rainy day."

With only Bofur's humming as an accompaniment, Bilbo began--

_Upon the hearth the fire is red,_  
_Beneath the roof there is a bed;_  
_But not yet weary are our feet,_  
_Still around the corner we may meet_  
_A sudden tree or standing stone_  
_That none have seen but we alone._  
_Tree and flower and leaf and grass,_  
_Let them pass. Let them pass._  
_Hill and water under sky,_  
_Pass them by. Pass them by._

_Still around the corner there may wait_  
_A new road or a secret gate,_  
_And though we pass them by today,_  
_Tomorrow we may come this way_  
_And take the hidden paths that run,_  
_Towards the Moon or to the Sun._  
_Apple, thorn and nut and sloe_  
_Let them go. Let them go._  
_Sand and stone and pool and dell,_  
_Fare you well. Fare you well._

_Home is behind, the world ahead,_  
_And there are many paths to tread_  
_Through shadows to the edge of night,_  
_Until the stars are all alight._  
_Then world behind and home ahead,_  
_We'll wander back to home and bed._  
_Mist and twilight, cloud and shade,_  
_Away shall fade. Away shall fade._  
_Fire and lamp, and meat and bread,_  
_And to bed. And then to bed._

The song seemed quite different now for Bilbo. He was no longer facing the uncertainties that would follow Lake Town; the dragon was gone and even Beorn's and Rivendell were far off to the east. He was once again inside the walls of his own beloved home.

Bilbo sang his heart out for dwarf, hobbit, skin-changer, and elf alike. He sang for Fili and Bofur together, who now represented home, for Bofur alone, joining his voice with Bilbo as intimately as a kiss, and for the love of a king who was currently watching him with damp, glittering eyes. Above all the rest, and very most of all, he sang for his Kili.

As the last note faded, the smial was silent for several moments. Gandalf, despite having heard Bilbo sing dozens of times at Beorn's, stared on in wonder. Dís had found Dwalin's hand and was gripping it as she used her other hand to wipe tears from her eyes. Thorin took careful breaths, looking up at the ceiling and hoping no one noticed the less than regal drops threatening to fall. Many of the other dwarves were quite affected, including most of Dís's escort from Ered Luin, for whom the concepts of journey and home were quite front in their minds. The elves did not weep, but they were moved nonetheless. Daerbes reached out to clasp hands with Bilbo and Bofur.

Bilbo turned to his partner in song and embraced him tightly.  
With his lips to Bilbo's cheek, Bofur murmured, "You're a bloody marvel, do you know that?"  
"It would not be what it is without your voice to complement mine."

Fili demanded an immediate kiss from Bofur when Bilbo released him. Bilbo turned to look at Kili, who was a darling, tearful mess. Cradling his face, Bilbo pressed his lips to Kili's--sweetly at first, but more intently as Kili opened for him. Bilbo only remembered himself when Nori let out a raucous whoop, followed by Beorn and some of the other dwarrows clapping and shouting out.

Beorn called quickly for another song and Bofur started up a merry little pub tune on his whistle. Bilbo peeked at Thorin, realizing a little too late that his romantic spectacle likely did not settle well with the king. Thorin allowed Bilbo a weak smile in return. Bilbo saw Dwalin clap Thorin on the shoulder and murmur something in his ear. Thorin nodded and they stood, Dwalin snatching a bit more pipeweed as they headed outside.

 

****

Lighting his pipe, Dwalin said, "He should know better than to kiss Kili so in front of you."  
"It is not as though I don't realize, right? They are getting married inside two days."

Thorin did not voice how he had seen them far more intimate...nor that he had enjoyed it.

"I apologize for my part," Dwalin said guiltily. "I encouraged him to sing the damned song."  
"The song was fine. The kiss was even fine. It...simply being here is confusing, you understand. I love seeing them, spending time with them, dancing and singing--all of it. There are the reminders, though. Out of nowhere, I'll feel the sting of the loss or the burning of longing."  
Dwalin shrugged. "Perhaps Balin was right when he said you should not come."  
Thorin shook his head. "No. I can't explain it in a way that would make any sense to you, but no matter how much it hurts, I wouldn't have traded this."  
Scoffed Dwalin, "Not two days ago, you were so distraught you were going to mourn them as fallen."  
"I was wrong for that, but setting it aside, let us say I persisted with that. I _still_ wouldn't have traded what lead to that moment, and although it pains me, I am grateful to Bilbo and Kili both for refusing to let me stay that course."  
"Let's see if you're still singing that tune when they are singing their vows," Dwalin countered.

Thorin puffed his pipe, but argued no more. He had been living moment to moment with Bilbo, which seemed to be the only way he could handle this situation. He did not pretend to know how he was going to deal with the moment where Bilbo formally gave himself to another.

 

****

By the time Thorin and Dwalin rejoined the group, tables and chairs had been stacked in order to create more room. Nori, Bifur, Oin, Bilbo, Dori, and Ori were teaching dwarf dances to Chadham, Hamfast, Holman, Thodora, Daerbes, Nerithel, and Nîfon. Thorin never thought in all his life he would have seen the day when an elf would dance so happily with a dwarf.

"Wait, wait! We're uneven. Holman still needs a partner!" Bilbo said over the music Fili, Kili, and Bofur were playing.  
"Here! I'll help!" a voice said.

Fili and Kili almost stopped fiddling altogether when they realized the voice was their mother's. Dís acquiescing--no, _volunteering_ \--to teach a hobbit how to dance for this wedding? In front of elves and dwarves alike? Fili's eyes found Thorin's and they shared a moment of astonishment.

For the next song, it was time to learn a hobbit dance. More dwarrows joined in, giving Gandalf a chance to dance with Daerbes while Hamfast and Bilbo had the pleasure of teaching Nerithel and her brother. The night went on like this, song after song, with partners and musicians changing out to give Kili, Fili, and Bofur the opportunity to sing and dance as well as play. Beorn could not dance inside Bag End, but he clapped, sang, wiggled, and pounded out beats to keep time--both on the floor as well as an emptied keg. Thorin danced with his sister, Nerithel, and, finally, Bilbo.

Bilbo felt the warmth of Thorin's hand against the damp small of his back where his shirt had began to stick. "I'm afraid I'm rather sweaty," he apologized.  
"No matter," Thorin said. Feeling the buzz from his beer, he leaned into Bilbo's ear to purr mischievously, "I've covered you with worse."  
"Thorin!" Bilbo hissed with a giggle.  
Laughing, Thorin spun Bilbo in a circle for the first steps of the dance.

 

****

Roughly an hour after the last keg ran dry, the party wound down and the guests slowly departed. Having made plans for reconvening in the morning to help with the bed, dwarves and hobbits walked out into the night (some unsteadily), hugging their goodbyes with each other and the elves besides.

Nîfon, Daerbes, and Nerithel embraced their hosts and Gandalf, bowed to the king, princess, Beorn, and Dwalin, and took their leave.

Dwalin gave Bilbo and Kili a rare smile as he departed. "Should you re-think a relocation to Erebor, I daresay the four of you--" he indicated Bilbo, Bofur, Kili, and Fili "--should be named Head Ambassadors and Joint Chiefs of Diplomatic Relations. What I saw here tonight was nothing short of miraculous."

Dís kissed her sons and Bofur on the cheek. For the first time, she allowed Bilbo to take her hand without a scowl, but he was not surprised she made no move to be as affectionate with him as with Bofur.

She said, "If all political gatherings involved a bit of dwarf dance and hobbit song, I daresay Middle Earth would be a more joyous place."  
Bilbo bowed. "Thank you, Princess."  
"I agree," Beorn added, making his way outside with a bit of effort. "This was quite a party, Bunny, regardless of the ancient hurts that may have preceded it. There's simply something about the four of you."  
Bofur beamed proudly. "There truly is."  
Gandalf smiled from his position at the mail box, watching Bofur, Fili, Bilbo, and Kili nearly radiate light into the night. "Quite," he murmured around his pipe.

Thorin joined them on the path, kissing his sister on the forehead and sending her on ahead.

Turning to Bilbo, he said, "The meal was fine and the company was delightful, surprisingly in some cases. There must be magic in you, Bilbo Baggins. You captivate everyone you meet."  
Bilbo laughed. "Hardly! Were than only true, our travels to Erebor would have been merrier and we would have arrived fatter than autumn hogs!"  
"Well, say what you like, but perhaps I will go on believing you are magical nevertheless," Thorin replied.  
The two of them held each other's gaze quietly for a few moments.  
Bilbo asked, "Are you coming around tomorrow morning with the others?"  
The corner of Thorin's mouth quirked up. He looked at Fili, Kili, and Bofur before settling his eyes back to Bilbo.  
"We'll see."  
Fili claimed an embrace from Thorin, though Bofur and Thorin only nodded at one another in parting. When he came to Bilbo, Thorin hugged him close.  
"I'm so happy you decided," Bilbo whispered for Thorin alone. The dwarf squeezed him tighter and tenderly pressed a kiss to Bilbo's cheek before they parted.  
"Kili, walk with me a bit?" Thorin requested.

 

*****

"The two of you were quite something tonight," Thorin said. "Indeed, Fili and Bofur as well. I'm amazed how well you dwarrows fare in the Shire. I must admit you thrive."  
Kili walked alongside him. "It was quite a night, to be sure. I will admit to being a bit proud, myself. You were polite to our friends from Rivendell. I know that likely would not have been your first choice."  
"In addition to them being quite polite themselves, they were good to all of you when you were in their land. Such a thing alone would have been worthy of my courtesy. I-I've come to realize although they are both elves, Elrond is not Thranduil. Perhaps I should have behaved differently the first time around."  
"You did a fine job tonight, at any rate. I appreciate you being there at all, all things considered."  
"Kili, I spoke to Bilbo tonight, as I'm sure you noticed. I wanted you to walk with me to tell you, too. I was wrong to try to shut you out so severely. I thought it would be to your benefit to leave you and Bilbo to yourselves to find your happiness, even if it was not completely to my own. I've been questioning the wisdom of it since my discussion with you both. After tonight, I see that no one would benefit from such a drastic course of action."  
Kili stopped to hug Thorin. "I'm so relieved! Bilbo told me you had good news and it was! It truly was!"  
"I cannot tell you this means I'm no longer struggling, though. I had pain as well as joy tonight, and there's a part of me that is a fair bit galled I'm going home to an empty bed when you've got a flushed and tipsy hobbit waiting for you in yours."  
"Thorin-"  
"-I know you would spare me the pain if you could. I know my being alone was only an unfortunate circumstance of you finding your love and not your intent. I know I brought any and all of this on myself by being the one who let him go, by mistreating his love, and by insisting upon traveling leagues knowing full well why you have called all your kin and friends together. I know you are sorry, and I likely know just about anything you might think to say right now. Knowing doesn't help. Well, maybe a little, but not enough to take away the ache of losing him to you."

Kili walked next to Thorin in silence for several paces.

"You're wrong about losing him," Kili finally said. "True, he lives with me and he's not going to Erebor with you, but you've not lost him in the way you keep saying. He carries you with him as you carry him. Nothing I will ever do or say will erase you from his heart--and believe me, there was a time when I tried desperately to do so."  
"He's marrying you, though. It doesn't matter if he's bonded to me, if he loves Bofur, or any other thing he might get it in his head to do. He is going to swear in front of dozens of witnesses that you are his Chosen."  
"I treasure it like nothing else, and it is that promise that helps me say this to you: He is not like us, Thorin. He can love and love and love. It doesn't have to be you or me. It took me a long time to understand that."  
"It was that revelation that spurred me to propose a three-way partnership between us. That turned out to be disastrous reasoning," Thorin said glumly.  
"It doesn't mean he isn't mad about you."  
"Forgive me, but it is easy to be magnanimous when you are the one he wants."

Kili did not see the point in pressing the issue with Thorin in this mood. They had walked a little further when Thorin turned to face Kili.

"Why don't you head back now?" He kissed Kili on the cheek. "Go have your fun and don't fret about the words of a bitter, old dwarf."  
"Thorin, you're neither bitter nor old," Kili protested. Biting his lip, he looked down at the ground before flicking his glance hopefully back to Thorin. "We'll see you tomorrow?"  
Thorin smiled. "Go on, now."

 

*****

"So, uh, what did Thorin want? Earlier?" Bofur tried to ask casually.  
Fili inwardly smirked.  
Bilbo answered, "We've not necessarily resolved anything, but Thorin has thankfully decided imagining us deceased is not a workable solution to the pain he is feeling."  
Exhaling in relief, Fili said, "That makes me feel much better. I was not looking forward to being the liaison between you for the rest of your life."  
Bofur elbowed Fili hard.  
"Ow! What?"  
Bofur stared at Bilbo, widening his eyes with purpose. Fili realized what he had said.  
Fili stuttered and spoke quickly, trying to correct his mistake. "Our lives, I mean. Of course, ours...oh blast."  
Bilbo smiled kindly and shook his head. "It is okay, Fee. I know you did not mean anything by it. It is an unfortunate reality, but we've got a few decades before we worry about it, right?"

Bilbo's good-natured chuckle made Fili and Bofur visibly relax, though Bilbo still felt the twinge. He did not blame Fili, though. Truthfully, the subject was never too distant from his thoughts.

 

****

Kili returned looking pensive.

"Did Thorin talk to you?" Bilbo asked.  
"Yes."  
Smiling, Bilbo said, "Good news, isn't it?"  
"It is," Kili said, distracted.  
Bilbo studied Kili's face. "Is everything alright?"  
Kili pulled Bilbo into his arms. "Yes, I'm just feeling...I don't even know. Guilty? Or maybe just a bit sad for him."  
"Did he try to change your mind?" Bofur asked suspiciously.  
Kili was emphatic. "Oh no, nothing like that!"  
"Well good," Bilbo teased. "because we've got delicious wedding cakes to eat. Not only that, I also have a special bottle of wine to pour down your gullet afterwards so we can ruin one another."  
"I don't think Kee would ever be sad enough to pass that up," Fili jested.  
"Speaking of wine, though..." Bilbo looked questioningly at Kili, who nodded in return.

Bilbo disappeared down the hall and returned with a bottle.

He said, "It so happens that our kind friends from Rivendell brought us another wedding gift, having assumed we used the last one in pleasured haste. We hadn't, though-"  
"-Showing monumental restraint, I must add," Kili interjected.  
"-Therefore, this one is a spare, if you will. Kee and I have agreed, since you are celebrating a betrothal of your own, that we will give this bottle to you."  
Fili took the bottle as Bilbo held it out. "This...this is quite _lovely_ ," he breathed.  
"Do we save it?" Bofur asked Bilbo.  
The hobbit shrugged. "If you wish. It is yours to use as you please."  
"I can't believe you would so willingly give it up! We were going to approach Daerbes about purchasing a bottle for the first night in our home when it is ready," Fili said.  
Said Kili, "We were lucky enough to have gone through a bottle once before, and we have another round waiting for the wedding night. We agreed immediately that the two of you _have_ to experience this bottle for yourselves."  
"It seems fitting, truly, considering some of our best sex can be traced back to you," Fili joked.  
Added Bofur, "In lesson at the very least!"  
Voice gliding into silk, Fili said, "Hmm, any _lessons_ to impart tonight?"

The look in Fili's eyes sent a tingle up Bilbo's spine. Bilbo had the desire but he was still hesitant. He was afraid to change the dynamic between the four of them before the wedding, no matter how small they insisted the risk might be. Also, he promised himself he would attempt to better sort out this situation with Thorin before he considered complicating his life (or his bed) any further.

Although he wanted to say yes, Bilbo quipped instead with a wink, "Yes, get a full night's sleep and a decent breakfast each day."  
"Aw, we can take a hint, can't we, Fee?" Bofur laughed.  
Fili smiled. "We do have to get up in the morning and move that bed."

Fili leaned in and brushed the lightest, feathery kiss across Bilbo's lips. He whispered so faintly, Bilbo felt it more than he heard it:  
"Offer stands."

 

*****

Bilbo stirred awake with the urge to use the water closet.

"Confounded beer," he complained. He had been comfortable, after all.

When he returned to bed, Kili was awake. The dwarf rolled over and said, "Let's take a walk."  
"What?"  
"A fall, midnight stroll."  
"Midnight? It is more like 2 in the morning!"  
"Whatever. Come on, it will be fun."  
Bilbo considered protesting, but Kili was already up and pulling on trousers.

They walked through the quiet streets and pathways, the only sounds in Hobbiton being those provided by nature or their own feet. A light fog hung a few feet from the ground, slightly illuminated by the glow of the moon. Kili seemed to be leading them somewhere. Unsurprisingly, Bilbo soon saw the tents that had been erected in anticipation of their wedding. Kili led him through the paths in between, all the way up to the tree itself.

Kili pushed Bilbo to the ground next to the trunk and kissed him passionately. "I want you Bilbo. I want you to have me under the Party Tree."  
"Kee! Are you crazy?"  
"Everyone is asleep and anyone who isn't deserves an eyeful of what we're about to give them. Please. I want it so when we're standing here in a couple of days, you've got fresh memories of fucking me on this very spot. I want to see you blush and know you're remembering how you filled me. Gods, I might come right now just talking about it."  
"I'd rather you come while I fuck you."  
Kili moaned, pulling a small flask from a pocket. He pressed it into BIlbo's hands.

Peeking around to see if they could see anyone, Bilbo slipped out of his trousers while Kili did the same. Kissing BIlbo again, Kili tried helping him off with his shirt.  
"No," Bilbo protested. "It is chilly enough with no bottoms."

BIlbo rolled them so he could sit up on his knees and urged Kili over. He popped open the flask, which (as he suspected) contained enough slick to facilitate Kili's fantasy. He eased digits into his lover as Kili panted and shivered on all fours. Although it was only slightly chill for a September night, the dampness in the air made it seem chillier. Bilbo remembered a time they played outside under a different tree. It was much colder then, but he could clearly recall the beautiful, stunned look on Kili's face the afternoon they exchanged beads--and the orgasms that followed. The precious and lewd memories stoked Bilbo's desire and his touch grew rougher.

Kili grunted. "Like that," he said.

When he had all but emptied the flask, Bilbo tugged up his shirt and slicked himself with the remainder. Kili crawled forward slightly when Bilbo positioned behind him, rearing up and bracing his arms against the tree trunk. Bilbo slipped an arm around Kili's shoulder, cupping his neck and urging him back. Pushing into him, Bilbo hissed, "Be careful for what you wish, dear heart."

Kili did not have time to question the statement as Bilbo began to move. The first few thrusts were deep and thorough, Kili keenly feeling Bilbo's length and width splitting him open. It was always deliciously filthy to feel Bilbo move so deliberately. His speed increased, as did the intensity. Soon, Kili was scrabbling against the bark while Bilbo pounded him, using his grip at Kili's neck for leverage. Kili made attempts to choke back moans and shouts, but the harder Bilbo rode, the more difficult it became. Bilbo leaned against his back, hand moving from his neck to yoking his hair. He pulled it back for better access to Kili's ear.

"How about this?" Bilbo breathed dangerously. "Is this how you want to remember me as we stand scant feet away on our wedding day? Fucking you so hard you may still be feeling it?"  
"Yes," Kili replied, voice wrecked.  
"You're getting what you want, so I should get what I want. Do you remember what I want?"

Kili was having trouble remembering what color the sky was supposed to be with Bilbo slamming into him and talking so lewdly. "You want me to c-come?"  
Bilbo smiled against Kili's skin. "Touch yourself," he commanded.

Kili pumped himself, failing to keep Bilbo's quick rhythm. Bilbo tightened the grip on his hip and his hair.  
"Gods, I need you to get there. You're driving me mad," Bilbo rasped.  
Kili's breathing turned into rapidly increasing whimpers as he neared his finish.  
Goading him, Bilbo whispered, "Do you think you could splash the tree from there? Decorate it with your seed especially for our wedding?"  
"You're so--you're so-"

Kili's orgasm ripped through him before he could finish his sassy retort. Beyond the pound of his blood in his ears, he could hear Bilbo murmuring the word "yes" with every thrust. Squeezing his hip, Bilbo pushed into him with a throaty grunt, shaking and pulsing through his release.

Bilbo stroked into Kili a few more times after he finished, relishing the sensation a little longer before giving the poor dwarf's knees and back a rest. He retreated and flopped back on the damp grass. Kili joined him quickly, likely as much for warmth as for the post-sex cuddle he seemed to love so much.

 

****

Nori liked creeping around the Shire after the streets and pubs bedded down for the night. He was a nocturnal creature by nature, if no longer by profession. He was too rich to bother skulking or stealing--not to mention there would be no sport in it amongst such trusting people even if he weren't--but he still enjoyed his wee hour sojourns. The tents had gone up on the wedding grounds just this afternoon and he had been nosing around in them, curious as to what tent was to be used for what purpose.

Nori froze when he heard voices, as it was highly unusual for anyone to be out and about at this hour besides himself. Carefully, he peeked through the tent flap. Bilbo and Kili were stripping off their trousers.

 _"Interesting,"_ he smirked to himself.

His lascivious gaze turned to one of shock and surprise the instant Bilbo buried his cock in Kili's arse. He had heard all about it, of course, having once flipped through the juicier parts of Ori's and Bilbo's book, but _seeing_ it was something else altogether. Being the nighttime prowler sort, he had peeped a fair share of sexual encounters, but he had never seen a coupling of this nature. He cupped over the swelling bulge in his trousers.

As the encounter continued, Nori found himself stifling exclamations of disbelief. He knew Bilbo carried a dormant ferocity below his fussy demeanor--they had been in battle together, after all--but the hobbit was fucking Kili in a frenzy. Nori recalled a conversation he had with Dwalin about Bilbo giving as good as he gets. Dwalin surely had not been joking! He had tried at the time (and failed) to envision Bilbo violating Thorin so ruthlessly. Currently, Kili was of course adoring every moment of it. _"What must that feel like?"_ Nori wondered.

Nori unlaced himself and pulled his cock out, stroking it to the music of the lovers' muffled moans and the slapping of their flesh. As Bilbo and Kili escalated toward their finish, so did Nori. He finished a few strokes after Bilbo fell back onto the grass.

"Shit," he hissed quietly, realizing he spilled on the ground in one of Bilbo's wedding tents. It wasn't particularly civilized to finish all over the floor of what might very well be the gift or cake shelter. Then again, it wasn't very civilized to steal perverted peeks of the Prince of Erebor getting thoroughly rogered by his hobbit lover, either. Sighing, Nori kicked some dirt over it.

_"That'll have to do,"_ he thought to himself. 

While Bilbo and Kili murmured and cuddled, Nori laced himself back up and carefully stole away into the night.

 

****

"This was a great idea, Kee," Bilbo sighed blissfully. "You're so smart...think I'll marry you."  
Kili laughed. "And you're so perverted! Taking me still half-clothed, demanding that I defile the Party Tree...perhaps I shall marry _you_."  
"Then I shall be marrying the most hobbitish, elvish dwarf in all of the seven dwarven kingdoms."

Kili had hated being called "elvish" all his life, as it had never been used as a compliment...until BIlbo said it. Somehow, the hobbit always uttered the term with warmth and reverence, even when it was a tease.

"Why do you say that?" he asked.  
"You've got a love of nature and things that grow like no dwarf I've ever met, and I can honestly say now I've met a fair few."  
Kili shrugged. "It is true, I do."  
"Particularly trees," Bilbo added.  
"To be fair, I love the Party Tree because it is important to you and your community. That makes it meaningful to me all on its own. I love the tree of Beorn's and all the things that remind me of it because of you, too. In fact, one could very rightly say that perhaps you've done this to me."  
Bilbo kissed Kili's hair. "Believe me, there's nothing about it I do not love, but you must admit it is not a common trait in your people."  
"I suppose."

As though he had forgotten it until just this moment, Kili said excitedly, "I cannot believe Beorn brought a full sack of fresh acorns! I hope they all make it through the winter! Can you imagine, Bee? We'll have a whole oak grove to walk through, hand in hand, as it inches upward with every year--all borne of the tree from under which I decided I would try to win your love. By our 25th anniversary, we'll be able to picnic in their shade!"  
"And by our 50th, I'll not have the strength to walk with you any longer," Bilbo said, melancholy, giving voice to to his renewed worry.  
Kili was not having it. "In which case I will carry you."  
"Kee-"  
"We're not going through this again. Don't waste our todays fretting about the pain of tomorrow. Let us have what we can, while we can."  
"Will you say that still in the latest autumn of my years, when nary an acorn is still upon the branch?"  
"I will say it always."

Kili and Bilbo held to each other tightly, both silently wishing this one thing could have somehow been different for them. Bilbo pictured Kili one day in the future, perhaps wandering their imagined oak grove one last time before riding to Erebor a widower. He shuddered in tearless grief. Kili mistook it for the cold seeping in.

"Let's go climb back into our warm bed, my jewel," Kili gently urged.

Dressing quickly, the couple sneaked back to Bag End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Bilbo sang was the same one from Chapter 22 of "Wait...." 
> 
> I decided it was fitting to include the full text again. Here are my song notes from last time:
> 
> "Bilbo's Shire song was one of Tolkien's own compositions, 'Upon the Hearth the Fire is Red.' It appeared in the bookverse for FOTR and parts of it made it to the movieverse in ROTK when Pippin sang some of it for Denethor."
> 
> Also--oops, I angsted at the end of my smut :/
> 
> Thank you all for your love and comments! We're far closer to the end than the beginning, now, and your continued support has kept me going this whole time <3 Love you!


	30. But Not Too Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It is bed-moving day, one day until the wedding.

The bell on the door rang mid-breakfast and Bilbo found Ori, Chadham, Thodora, Dori, and Bifur standing on the doorstep, ready for the day's work. Ori, Dori, and the hobbits had already eaten at Thodora's, but Bifur happily scooped up the food Bilbo offered.

" _Beorn said he will be waiting with the wagon at our workspace_ ," Bifur said in between bites.  
Fili replied, "Good! Bifur, I think you and Bo will come with me, and perhaps Kili as well. Between us and Beorn, we should have no problems with transport."  
"Kee? But wouldn't that ruin the surprise?" Bilbo asked.  
Shaking his head, Fili said, "He'll only see it in pieces, and the details not at all."  
Bofur chimed in, "Bee, you've got a lot of work to get things ready here. Would Ori, Dori. Thodora, and Chadham be enough hands for what you have to do?"  
Bilbo considered it. "I believe so. The two biggest chores will be making space for the current bed in the other spare bedroom and getting this one dismantled. I'm sure we can manage it well enough. If it turns out we are not done when you arrive back, we'll borrow you for the rest."  
"Where are the others?" Kili asked.

Bilbo was curious, too. Not that he expected the king himself to show up, ready for labor, but he remembered a table full of dwarves pledging their help last night and there were a few names absent for their plans.

Dori fidgeted nervously. "It is my understanding some of the others have been given another charge. We thought between those of us who are here plus Beorn himself, we would be adequate assistance. Did we assume incorrectly?"  
"Oh no," Kili answered. "This will work well. I was merely wondering."

*****

With the plan in place and everyone fed, Kili kissed Bilbo goodbye and the groups set to their tasks. Bilbo had no sooner finished removing and folding his bedding than the bell rang again.

"Who could that be?" Bilbo wondered as he padded down the hall. Given the events of the past few days, he mused a better question might be, "Who couldn't that be?" Chuckling to himself, he answered the door.

"Good morning," Thorin said. "Might it be that you could use another pair of hands?"

*****

Thorin had pondered not volunteering at all, but in the end he could not help himself. Although it seemed wildly inappropriate to help Bilbo prepare his bedroom for his marriage, he also could not imagine being elsewhere while other members of the company helped Bilbo instead.

Bilbo's old bed had to be disassembled to move it into one of the spare rooms, so it had been stripped and flipped over. Ori, Dori, and the other hobbits were clearing the way for it at its new destination down the hall, leaving Bilbo with Thorin, gently prying apart pegs. Bilbo fretted over the dust and fuzz clinging to the underside of the bed--"so embarrassing, truly"--and chattered to himself, realizing rather suddenly Thorin had paused in both movement and sound.

"Thorin?"  
The dwarf sighed. "It's nothing."  
"'It's nothing' should be your middle name, as much as you say it," Bilbo countered. "Please, let us...let us talk through whatever it is that is making you sigh and look like that. We're--we're friends, right?"  
Thorin wet his lips nervously as he put his thoughts together. "That's it, just as you said. I'm in your bedroom, the bedroom you share with your intended, the bedroom where we've made love ourselves, and I'm your _friend_. We're preparing this space for a marriage bed and I'm not going to be the Mr. Baggins that sleeps in it. I'm simply your friend who is helping you, and no matter how much I tell myself I understand this is the way it has to be, each time the realization dawns anew, it feels like a blow."  
"Oh, Thorin," Bilbo said softly. "You're more than my friend. I don't know if there is a word for what we are, and although it may not be 'husband,' I still adore you so."  
Thorin granted Bilbo a small smile, though it was framed with sadness.  
Bilbo said, "Besides, you were meant for much grander things than merely to be Mr. Baggins. You are a king of Erebor, a leader of a nation of dwarrows--more than one, truly, to hear it from anyone other than you. You knew it long ago. The blood of your forebears in your veins drove you forth from Lake Town, unable to be calmed until you reclaimed your kingdom in the name of the line of Durin. You've secured a legacy for yourself, your people, and your kin. There is no love, no life, that is worth trading for that--especially not mine."  
Thorin shook his head, "You're wr-"  
"-Stop," Bilbo said sternly. Then, much more gently, "Just...stop, okay? Perhaps we should take a break or something. In retrospect, this might have been too much to ask of you."

*****

Dori was the first in the line returning to the master bedroom. He paused to listen when he heard concern in Bilbo's voice, holding his arm out to stop the others. When Thorin spoke to Bilbo about making love, he moved to cover Ori's ears. Annoyed, Ori slapped his hands away. The four of them stood with their hearts breaking for the king as the conversation went on. Ori was the one of the four who knew the most about the situation with Bilbo, Thorin, and Kili, but hearing the two of them speak so still affected him.

When Bilbo suggested they take a break, Dori took it upon himself to attempt to soothe the situation. Tapping on the outside door frame as though he had just arrived, he said, "The other room is ready. How would you like me to make some nice chamomile? Perhaps get up off the floor and give the younger ones the job you are on now?"

Bilbo looked up at him gratefully. "That sounds like a lovely idea! That is, if the three of you don't mind?"

Thodora and Chadham were somewhat dazed by the exchange they just heard, for as much as Ori adored their company, he had not betrayed the intricacies of Bilbo's romantic entanglements to them. 

"No, that's fine," Chadham said.  
Ori pretended to grumble, if only to draw away tension. "The younger ones, he says! I'm older than Bilbo by a score!"  
"Maybe you would like your hobbit friends to assume you too infirm to unbind a simple bed frame?" Dori teased.  
Ori rolled his eyes and traded places with Thorin.

****

Time and tea having dissolved the tension of the moment, the group at Bag End was able to complete the task given them. Bilbo was sweeping the bedroom when Fili and the rest arrived with the new bed. Much to Bilbo's surprise, shortly thereafter he was banished from his own house.

"Go on, off you go," Bofur said. "You may return later, when it has been built."  
"I cannot stay?" Bilbo asked.  
"Where's the fun in that?" Fili teased.  
Kili stood, arms crossed, laughing at the indignant look on Bilbo's face.  
Fili knocked his hip into his brother's. "Fool, I don't know why you're looking so smug. You're going, too."  
"What? Me?" Kili protested.  
Fili pushed at their shoulders. "Get on, there is work to be done."  
"I'll go with them, if my help is not needed," Thorin volunteered.  
Fili nodded in assent, having been surprised to find Thorin there at all. 

****

As Bilbo, Kili, and Thorin walked through town, Bilbo made an observation. Although hobbits were not as vain as Men or Elves, they enjoyed their clothes. Not for working, of course, but for guest dinners, parties, and the like, they enjoyed putting on garments in good fabrics and fine cuts. A curious thing had been happening in the Shire since Bilbo had arrived with his dwarves, increasing with the arrival of the group from Erebor: Dwarf-style garments and details were growing in popularity. Indeed, Bilbo had heard poor Wilibald could not keep up with the orders--it seemed as though everyone wanted something with a dwarvish touch, particularly for the wedding day. The change was not merely sartorial, either. Braids were no mystery to hobbits, but ladies had taken to wearing them more frequently and in a more dwarven fashion. Some of the hobbit fellows were considering letting their hair grow like Bilbo's, too. Bilbo laughed to himself. He was worried the dwarves wouldn't be accepted! He had no idea that suddenly all things dwarvish would become a trend.

*****

"I think I should make sure Mam has found her way to elevensies," Kili chirped. "Are you two coming along?"  
"Before the craziness sets in that will doubtless last through tomorrow, I have something for Bilbo back at the inn," Thorin replied.  
"Truly?" Bilbo asked. Glancing at Kili, he said, "Would that be okay?"  
Kili smiled at Bilbo. "Of course. I'll see you...hmm...either at the Dragon or back at Bag End? Say, in about two hours?"  
"Yes, that should be fine."  
Kili swooped Bilbo up in a hug, murmuring next to his ear. "Remember to be good, but you don't have to be _too_ good."  
Bilbo was about to bluster a protest when Kili silenced him with a quick kiss. 

Watching Kili go, Thorin shook his head. "I don't know about him, sometimes. Were I him, I don't think I could skip off, no questions asked, while someone walked you somewhere private."  
"He is unique in so many ways. He knows this is difficult for you, for me...for all of us really. Kee has an enormous heart, and you own a fair chunk of it. He wasn't about to argue with you, nor did he seem to feel the need to be our chaperone."  
Thorin shrugged. "You are right. I suppose there is no reason for us to feel guilty." 

Bilbo did have feelings of guilt, but no part of them were in relation to Kili. Kili had told him a dozen times (in as many ways) they could open their bed at Bilbo's command, and Bilbo had discovered quite _unmistakably_ that it would not be for his pleasure alone. No, this guilt had to do with the dwarf walking alongside him. Bilbo was once engaged to him, set to pledge his life to Thorin and Thorin alone. Bilbo now had fallen in love with two more, bonded with one of them, had kissed Bofur with barely restrained passion, and nearly let Fili palm him to ruin against a wall. If he chose it, it seemed as though he could have three bed mates living under the roof of Bag End. Bilbo had three and his former intended had none at all.

*****

Thorin laid a leather wrapped bundle on his bed.

"I thought perhaps I would give you your gift now before you are inundated tomorrow," he explained.  
Bilbo insisted, "You've already given me a gift--that lovely crown."  
"Ah, yes, but that was the wedding gift. This is a birthday gift."

Thorin handed Bilbo a large book, beautifully bound in what appeared to be red leather. Bilbo brushed his fingers over the cover before opening it. Finding it the pages blank, he looked up at Thorin questioningly. 

Thorin smiled shyly. "You mentioned at one point you wanted to write down the story of our journey."  
"I cannot believe you remembered that," said Bilbo in awe.  
"I told you I listened to you," Thorin mumbled.  
Thumbing through the pages, Bilbo said, "This is lovely. Truly, just perfect."  
"Last year, when we arrived in Lake Town, I did not realize it had been your birthday. It has bothered me for a clear year that I did not give you anything."  
"How can you say such a thing? You gave me the honor of sharing your room, you held me through the night when I was sick, and you hand fed me when I was weak. When the illness passed, you said beautiful things to me, kissed me, loved me. Thorin, you gave me everything...you gave me _yourself_."  
"That seems to me to have been more of a curse than a gift," Thorin said sadly.  
"Have I made you feel that way? If I have, I owe you a world of apologies because it just isn't so. Do you remember that evening? Nothing about it could be called anything less than beautiful."  
"I do remember it. The first time we kissed-"  
"-I could scarcely believe you were there. I could have mistaken it for a lovely fever-dream."  
Thorin closed his eyes, immersing himself in the recollection. "The way you touched me, the way I _let_ you touch me...it exceeded my wildest imaginings."  
"Mine as well," Bilbo said. "Do you think on it often?"  
"You surely know I do."  
"What do you remember the most?" Bilbo asked softly, placing the book on the bed.  
"I don't think I've forgotten a thing. I often recall how incredibly tender and obscene you were the first time you breached me, and how enticing you were when you demanded the same, deciding you could no longer stand not knowing how it felt. I tease those memories out quite often. More than that, though, I remember the moment you marked me for the first time. Something inside me at that instant roared to life, bearing your name. It has not been silenced since."

Thorin's voice grew rougher and colored with desire as he spoke, stirring Bilbo's blood. Bilbo moved close to Thorin, resting his hands on his shoulders. 

Bilbo tilted his head back. "Kiss me."  
Thorin gripped him by the biceps. "How can you make such a request when Kili has so freely allowed you to be here with me?"  
"Kili wouldn't mind."  
"Perhaps he wouldn't mind the kiss, but you must realize it wouldn't stop there. Do you truly think he wouldn't mind if I unclothed you, piece by piece, caressing your skin as I revealed it? Would he not mind if I tasted you completely? If I felt you, touched you inside your most intimate place?" Thorin leaned in to whisper in Bilbo's ear. "Do you think he would not mind if I fucked you without his knowledge, privately in my bed, pulling my name from your lips in sheer pleasure?"  
"Thorin," Bilbo rasped.  
"It would not be just kissing, not here, not alone like this. It would be more filthy than innocent--neither of us have the willpower for it to be otherwise. Even now, I feel you quaking with your lust."  
"It is more than lust. I love you," Bilbo proclaimed.  
"And I love you down to my marrow, but I cannot send you back to Kili so dismantled...and I _would_ take you apart, Bilbo, piece by piece. We would only need a kiss to start us spiraling out of control."  
Bilbo's head fell forward, resting on Thorin's chest. "Gods, yes..." he murmured.  
"Mahal, what cruel creatures hobbits are! Do not tempt me so," Thorin begged.  
"But I want...no, I need, I _need_ everything you've described."

Thorin, still clutching Bilbo at the biceps, pushed him back, forcing him to look him in the eyes. 

"Then let me stand in his place. If you are willing and able to let me possess you so thoroughly, so carnally, so privately on the eve of your wedding, by rights you should be marrying me instead," Thorin said.  
"I can't," Bilbo whispered.  
Thorin released him gently and took three steps backwards. "Then you have no business asking me for this. It is not fair to you, to me, or to Kili."

Bilbo closed his eyes, face growing hot with the sting of rejection and the shame of the truth in Thorin's words. The lure of the king's touch had always made him weak.

"I-I'm sorry," Bilbo said weakly.  
Thorin studied Bilbo, the hobbit nearly folding in on himself with whatever he was feeling, and felt an overwhelming need to reassure him. "I want you--by the Valar, I do--but this is not like the day in your bedroom, or even the night that followed. I simply cannot make love to you so intimately and send you off to your lover for a marriage, him unawares."  
"I understand," Bilbo said, coming back to himself after the shock of Thorin's refusal. "Your effect on me so often makes me lose my sense. I-I suppose I should be grateful for your self-control."  
"It is barely contained, I assure you, and I am sure tonight I will hate myself for letting this opportunity go. I advise you to take advantage of my conscience and find the others before I think better of it. I'll wager the unveiling of Fili's gift should be nigh."

Bilbo was eager to leave in the wake of his embarrassment, though he was satisfied Thorin seemed to require his absence in order to regain his own kingly composure. He sighed, picked up his book, and clutched it to his chest as though it were Thorin himself. 

"Will you be joining us for the next meal?" Bilbo asked.  
"You'll see me at dinner, I am sure," Thorin replied.  
"Thank you, Thorin," Bilbo gestured down awkwardly. "F-for this, for this book. It means more to me than you will ever know."  
"I'm pleased you like it."  
"I adore it," Bilbo asserted. 

*****

Thorin leaned his back against the door when Bilbo left, exhaling deeply and looking up at the ceiling. "That was either desperately noble or amazingly stupid," he said aloud.

His blood still on fire, Thorin dropped his trousers to the floor and stroked himself, leaning against the door, imagining every last detail of what would have happened had he granted Bilbo his kiss. 


	31. A Day Of Surprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thodora passed them on the road and Bilbo called out to her.  
> "Oh, good!" she replied. "Exactly whom I was hoping to find! Fili wants you to know you can return now."  
> "Really? Return to my own home? How generous!" Bilbo joked.

Bilbo checked the Green Dragon for Kili. Instead, he found Nori chatting up the barkeep. He was quickly ushered out by the dwarf. 

"You can't be here right now, you know," Nori said with uncharacteristic urgency. "You're supposed to be doing other things! You can come back in fifteen minutes if you are so inclined, but you better not be lingering around outside between now and then!"

Bilbo found it bizarre but thought perhaps it had something to do with the wedding. He giggled, imagining Nori not wanting Bilbo around while he found himself a date. Not quite sure where to go to pass the time next, Bilbo decided even if he could not yet go home, he could at least wander in that direction. To his surprise, Bilbo found Kili sitting in some shade on the road to Bag End. Watching him for a moment before he let his presence be known, Bilbo grinned as Kili repeatedly blew at a hair that had fallen from the large, woven plait Bilbo had given him that morning.

Greeting him at last, Bilbo said, "I thought I was early! What are you doing here?"  
"Oin ran me off when I went to get Mam for food, saying she was occupied. I bought a couple pieces of seed cake at the market and went to Bag End, but Dori shooed me away. I've been whiling away time here." He indicated Bilbo's book. "Is that your present from Thorin?"  
"Yes, he says it is for my birthday."  
Kili nodded in approval. "Looks rather fine. What is it about?"  
"Our journey, or at least it will be someday. It is purposefully blank so I may write my stories in it," Bilbo replied, handing him the book.  
"Thorin can be quite thoughtful, can't he?"  
"Yes," Bilbo said absently.

Kili flipped through the pages of Bilbo's new treasure while Bilbo fidgeted in guilt.

"Uh, Kee, something happened in Thorin's room. That is to say, it didn't _happen_ happen but something happened before it un-happened and I--"  
"You're babbling," Kili said gently, taking Bilbo's hand. "Tell me what didn't happen, as it were."

Bilbo told him about being in Thorin's room: the gift, discussing their first time, Bilbo's request, Thorin's denial, and the rest. 

Kili calmly took this new information in. "I see. Does your moment with Thorin change anything for us?"  
"No."  
"Do you still want to marry me tomorrow?"  
"Yes," Bilbo breathed. "Oh, yes."  
Kili nodded, running his tongue over this teeth. "Then we are going to be okay."  
"You aren't angry?"  
"Should I be?" Kili asked.  
"I wanted him," Bilbo said warily.  
"Of course you want him. I carry your mark as you carry his; I know how it feels. I encouraged you to give in a little before I left you, remember? I would have been significantly more upset had you shed your clothes and gone through to the end, but even then, not enough to give you up. We've been rather, ah, adventurous when it comes to the boundaries in our relationship. When we play with another together, it feels exciting and we both get pleasure. I could go as far with someone I implicitly trusted--say, like Bo and Fee--to you playing with them in private with my knowledge. But that is the key-- _with my knowledge_. I suppose I should point out if you play with someone else in secret, it is no longer _our_ thing. I feel excluded."  
"I hadn't thought of it that way. I'm sorry, Kee. I wasn't thinking straight. Thank goodness Thorin was."  
"I'm grateful. I would have been irritated if he fucked you today when we've agreed not to have sex with each other until tomorrow night."  
"Gods, I hadn't thought of that, either. I wasn't thinking at all," Bilbo said glumly.  
Kili pulled Bilbo into his lap for a hug, holding and rocking him for several moments.  
"Bee? What made you tell me?" Kili asked.  
"We promised we'd talk about these things: feelings, jealousies, desires, and such. We swore we would not keep any secrets that would tear us apart again."  
Kili hugged him harder. "Thank you for talking to me about it. If we can always do this, no matter how difficult, it will only make us better in the end."

*****

Thodora passed them on the road and Bilbo called out to her.  
"Oh, good!" she replied. "Exactly whom I was hoping to find! Fili wants you to know you can return now."  
"Really? Return to my own home? How generous!" Bilbo joked.

All of the morning's helpers were anxiously waiting for Bilbo and Kili. If everyone's happy and excited expressions were anything to go by, Bilbo thought the gift must be lovely indeed. Fili and Bofur struck Bilbo as both proud and nervous. It was quite endearing. 

"We hope you like it," Bofur said affectionately, swinging the door open for the big reveal.

The first thing that struck Bilbo was the size. The bed was, as Bilbo had requested all those weeks ago, enormous. Bofur had told Bilbo that morning to move his dresser into his clothing room. Bilbo had dutifully complied, but thought it was overkill. Turns out, Bofur had not exaggerated. Although it was not the size of their bed at Beorn's, Bilbo was quite sure there was nothing bigger in the Shire. 

The next thing that caught Bilbo's eye was the woodwork. It had four posters, each tapering with intricate carving at the top. The headboard and the footboard both had a reinforced bar brace above them, also carved and tapered in at regular intervals, creating a lovely wave effect. These details were breathtaking, to be true, but the most amazing thing was the headboard itself. Across the span of it, sitting above the pillows so as not to be hidden, was the same pattern Bofur had painstakingly carved into Kili's once-secret bead.

The bedding was also special, with needlepoint flowers on the pillowcases to match the headboard and a dancing row of acorns along the turn-down of the sheet. Bilbo took a step back, nearly swooning at the hours of work and love that went into this gift.

"I said 'bed,' but this? This is a work of art!" Bilbo said, voice beginning to waver.  
Kili spoke. "Fee, this is...I can't...I'm speechless."  
"First time in your life," Fili teased, clapping him on the back.  
Bilbo smoothed his hands over the bedpost and the bedding, pausing to touch the design-work at the head of the bed. "I can scarcely believe it! The flower, the needlepoint-"  
"Bifur did the pillowcases and the sheets himself," Bofur said proudly.  
"Oh, Bifur! You have a talent for such things! I'm not sure I've ever seen such lovely detail. Come, you must give me a hug, all of you!" Bilbo exclaimed.

Bilbo and Kili took turns hugging Bofur, Fili, Bifur, and the rest of the help that made moving the bed a possibility that day. Kili murmured special thanks as he hugged Fili, Bofur, and Bifur, moved to the brink of tears with each successive embrace. Bilbo did not bother hiding his own soggy joy, openly dabbing at his eyes with a handkerchief and making jokes about the sentimental nature of hobbits.

After the hugs wound down, Bilbo asked the group, "Have Fee and Bo remembered to feed you?" His own stomach reminded him it hadn't been properly fed in a while.  
Fili rubbed the back of his neck. "Nothing substantial, I'm afraid."

Bilbo sent Kili to the pantry and went himself to the root cellar. Between them, they laid out a table of fruit, vegetables, bread, and cold meats for their friends, which was devoured in short order. Once Bilbo and Kili had filled their stomachs, Fili and Bofur gently nudged them toward the master bedroom for a private talk.

*****

Conspiratorially, Fili said, "We did not wish to tell you in front of everyone, but Bo and I designed your bed a little extra special."  
"Clearly!" Kili said.  
"No, he means besides the obvious," Bofur said. "It is a sex bed."  
"Aren't they all?" Bilbo winked.  
"Will you two hush up and allow me to brag for a moment?" Fili snapped playfully.

Pulling up the corner of the mattress, he invited Kili and Bilbo to look down at the inside corner of the bedpost. "There's a little metal loop screwed into the wood there. You have one on all four corners...in case you get the urge to tie each other down."  
"T-tie each other down?" Bilbo queried, swallowing hard. He recalled Fili teasing him with something to that effect some other time before.  
"If you wish it. And these bars," Fili pointed to the horizontal supports, "they are at a convenient gripping height so if you are on your knees, you have something to cling to. The tapered indents across the bars are to make them easier on your hands. The headboard one is taller for reaching above your head; the footboard one is lower for when your arms ache."  
"You've really put some thought into this," Kili said, impressed.  
Bofur quipped, "Y'know we had a ball with the research."  
"I can imagine," Bilbo said. "My prick is already awake and pondering the possibilities."  
Fili chuckled. "I won't lie, much of my share of the work was conducted with a stiff one down my trousers."

Bilbo subconsciously wet his lips as he considered this--a movement noticed by all three dwarrows. 

Kili wrapped his arms around Bilbo's waist from behind. "Are we sure we aren't going to be sleeping together until tomorrow night?" he teased, disrupting Bilbo's mental imagery.  
Bofur quirked an eyebrow. "What's this, then?"  
"We agreed to abstain from sex today and we will be sleeping separately tonight," Bilbo explained.  
"Why would you do that?" Bo asked.  
Kili gave Bilbo an affectionate squeeze. "We've had Daerbes's wine before, if you'll remember. We wanted to be well-rested before we tried it this time."  
Bilbo nodded in agreement. "Knowing what to expect, we thought being at...um, full potency might enhance the experience. Spending the night in the same bed is far too much temptation."  
"On another note, there is something poetic about waiting to sleep in this magnificent creation of yours until we are well and truly wed," Kili added.  
Fili stroked his beard thoughtfully. "I hadn't thought of either of those things. In such case, I suppose I shall not renounce you as mad after all."  
"I might _go_ mad now that you've put such thoughts of manic sex and stiff cocks in my mind," Bilbo mock-complained. 

Fili was tempted to remind Bilbo he merely had to say the word, but he refrained. There was no longer the slightest question between them where Bofur and Fili stood on the issue of sharing their bed. He didn't want to pressure Bilbo, particularly on the eve of the wedding. 

****

After Bag End emptied of its company, Bilbo fretted anew.

"I've been so caught up in moving the bed, I've completely forgotten I have a veritable army to feed!" he moaned. "I do not have nearly enough in the pantry to pull off another feast like last night's! Merciful Eru! What will your mother think of me, letting elf, dwarf, and hobbit alike all starve?"  
"Mam is far from starving," Kili comforted Bilbo. "Hobbits have the best marketplace for food I've seen in all my travels, and there's the Green Dragon, besides. I'm sure no one is going to bed hungry tonight."  
"It simply isn't fitting. Relying on the Dragon for a few guests is one thing, but now that we have such varied company..." Bilbo trailed off fretfully.  
Fili shook his head. "Bee, no one expects you to pull out a monumental feast every night, particularly when you're getting married tomorrow."  
Bofur chimed in, "And from what I've seen, the party you've planned for tomorrow night would forgive all even if you had been guilty of a slight."

In the end, Bilbo had been talked out of a repeat of yesterday's flurry of baking and running to the market in favor of Fili and Bofur going out on his behalf to suss out a dinner plan on his behalf. 

"Come on, why don't you take a bath and a nap? They would both go a long way in soothing your nerves," Kili suggested.  
"I think you're right. Will you be joining me?"  
"I would love to, but I don't think I could resist you all wet and soapy. You know what that does to me."  
Bilbo made a face. "I don't think I'd want a bath and a nap without you."  
Kili took Bilbo's ring hand and kissed it. "How about this, then? Take your bath and we'll discuss a bit of sleep afterwards."  


****

The insistent ringing of the bell woke Bilbo from a lovely dream about Beorn's garden. In the spirit of saving their new bed, Kili was cuddled next to him in Fee's room instead of their own. The dwarf stirred and stretched.

"Who would need us so badly that doesn't have leave to just walk in?" Kili groused. 

Bilbo was grateful they slept clothed, so all he had to do was stomp down the hall and answer the caller. Yanking the door open aggressively and ready to fuss, Bilbo froze in the face of his soon-to-be mother-in-law. 

Bilbo stammered in surprise. "Princess! I apologize, w-we were sleeping you see, and-"  
"-Sleeping!" Dís repeated back. Kili shuffled into her line of sight. "Did the two of you plan to sleep through our supper, Kili?"  
"Supper..." Bilbo murmured. Still fuzzy from sleep, he tried frantically to recall what they had planned to do about food. "Oh! Fee...Bo, they were-"  
"Fee and Bo, as you say, are waiting for _you_ ," Dís sniffed.  
Bilbo furrowed his brow and bit his lip. "Oh dear, I'm not even properly dressed."  
"Hurry on with it, then. I'll wait for you to get ready." She fixed Kili with a look. " _Both_ of you."

Changing quickly into better dinner clothes, Bilbo was as confused as though he were already drunk. He had not planned dinner, yet Dís was here demanding it, but it wasn't here, but Fili and Bofur had gone ahead to figure it out--damn, why did he agree to a nap in the first place?

****

Bilbo and Kili were surprised to see a small, Shire-wagon waiting further down the path with Holman in the driver's seat. Dís motioned for them to get in, Holman helping her up to the seat next to him. He urged the pony forward, and Bilbo noted they were not heading toward the Green Dragon.

"Do you know what is going on?" Bilbo asked Kili. The dwarf shook his head. 

Holman rolled them into Michel Delving--a journey not terribly taxing on foot, but more difficult on an empty stomach than a full one. He stopped in front of the large building the Thain used as a meeting hall.

Once they departed, Dís spoke. "I do hope I did not go counter to some obscure hobbit custom by taking care of tonight's meal."  
"Tonight's meal? Wait, here?" Bilbo asked.

Dís opened the door and led them in. Tables were stretched end on end, following the shape of three sides of the room with more than enough seating for their guests. There were even comfortable chairs for their guests of size and the hall itself was big enough that neither the elves nor Beorn would have to scrunch to stand. Milling about were dwarrows from both Erebor and Ered Luin, the elves from Rivendell, Beorn, and several hobbits, including Isumbras, Holman and his wife, Hamfast, Thodora, Chadham, and a few others besides. Food was spread out as far as the eye could see, and Bilbo noticed Beorn moving three large barrels of beer into place. 

Bilbo turned toward Dís. "This-this was your idea?"  
Dís nodded. "I could tell last night was taxing for you, though you hid it well. It would not do for you to wear yourselves out the night before your wedding caring for your guests, particularly as you've spent weeks planning tomorrow's celebration as it was."  
Kili breathed out an incredulous laugh, pulling Dís firmly into an embrace. "I can't get over it! This is so unexpected and wonderful!"

Bilbo looked back over the room and marveled. This was the manner of thing his own mother would have done for them had she lived to see him marry. 

Eyes brimming with tears, he said, "Princess Dís, I would very much like to hug you if I may."  
She nodded her assent and Bilbo wrapped his arms around her tightly. "Thank you," he whispered. "Oh, thank you."  
Dís patted him awkwardly on the back. "You're welcome. Were you in Erebor, the feast would be much more grand, of course. You're...you're princes, after all."

Bilbo squeezed her tighter, but no longer trusted his voice. Even if she never had another kind thing to say to him, he would always remember this.

Looking up, he saw Thorin. His breath caught in his chest, although he knew he shouldn't be surprised. Thorin caught his eye and nodded deeply, granting him a small, private smile. 

****

"Did you know about this?" Bilbo asked Fili.  
"Not until this afternoon. We went to see about dinner and were roped into assisting. It seems the help of ours that went absent this morning had been helping Mam set all this up."

Bilbo recalled Nori running him out of the Green Dragon. Bilbo walked over to congratulate Nori on a secret well-kept.

****

"I can't believe you managed to put this together in half a day!" Kili said to Dís.  
"It helps tremendously that Isumbras is impressed by our titles. He did much of the work for me," Dís remarked.  
"Still!" Fili chimed in. "Even with his help for where to buy and whom to hire, there is still the matter of getting the space, the tables, _all this food_. How did you manage the coin? It isn't as though you've gotten your share of Ereborian gold yet and I know you did not ask us."  
"Yes, how did you handle the cost?" Kili asked.  
Dís meaningfully glanced across the room toward Thorin.  
"No," Fili said, disbelieving.  
"Did he know what it was for when you borrowed it?" Kili said, also surprised.  
"Yes, of course."

The boys were stunned, looking at each other and back toward Thorin.

"Now, now, don't pester him about it. He'd likely deny it anyway." Dís ran the back of her hand lovingly down Kili's cheek. "You know he truly does wish you happiness. It is a misfortune that it had to be with Bilbo."  
"Mam," Kili warned.  
"I"m not saying anything about Bilbo, specifically. Only...Thorin loves you very much. It is simply sad he loves the hobbit, too." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the feast is about 1/2 written up. I'll do what I can to get it posted in less than a week this time :D
> 
> I always love all your comments--thank you so much :D


	32. The Joy And Pain Of Understanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting down to the heart of matters, as it were.

With the secret feast no longer secret from Kili and Bilbo, the group tucked merrily into their food. As the initial meal wound down, attendees popped out of their chairs getting seconds, refilling mugs, and crossing the room to chat. The dwarves, hobbits, elves, and Beorn mixed more easily than the day before, having grown more accustomed to one another. Those who joined forces to help Dís with the surprise for Bilbo and Kili had built some camaraderie in working toward this common goal together--and had a great time doing it. Likewise, Dori was getting along quite well with Thodora and Chadham while Beorn shared much more comfort with Dori, Ori, and his hobbit companions after their morning at Bag End.

****

Bofur said privately to Fili, "Your Mam is something else! I can't believe she has managed to pull this together! Or, honestly, that she would want to, given how she feels about tomorrow."  
"Regardless of how she may feel about Bilbo--and I think she might be starting to soften somewhat--Kee is still her son. Besides, Thorin paid for it," Fili revealed.  
"You what? _Thorin_ paid for this?"  
"Can you believe it?"  
"Well, bless me," Bofur said, impressed. 

*****

Thorin desperately wanted to speak with Bilbo and Kili but after this afternoon, he did not know what to say. Bilbo's impending wedding was the only thing that had kept Thorin's lust at bay, and that only just barely. Had Kili consented to Bilbo's distraction (or had he been there), it might have been mightily awkward indeed for Dwalin and Dís to come knocking at his door when it was time to leave out. He had no doubt Bilbo (or Bilbo and Kili both) would still have been naked in his bed those two hours later. He exhaled heavily, casting a yearning glance toward the couple. He told himself they were too busy with their guests to spare him conversation anyway, shushing the little voice that noted Bilbo and Kili currently sat alone and would likely love a few kind words from him. Instead, Thorin busied himself observing the others. The current amusing subjects of his attentions were the brothers 'Ri, who always wound up gravitating near each other whether they knew it or not.

*****

Oin and Dori insinuated themselves next to Daerbes, picking her brain about tinctures, teas, and various fermenting processes. Any prior prejudices they had about elves were momentarily suspended while they took in as much as they could from her amazing scope of knowledge about the medicinal and recreational uses of various plants and the fruit they bore. Nerithel sat alongside her partner, sharing some histories with Ori, who was rather acutely regretting not bringing any writing materials. Nori hovered around his brothers, weaving in and out of their conversations while trying to catch the eye of Nîfon. With annoyance, Nori noted Nîfon was currently the subject of the Thain's wife's obviously amorous intentions and turned his attention elsewhere. 

*****

Bilbo went back to the sweets table for another round of strawberries and sponge cake. He chewed his dessert thoughtfully in a room surrounded by his lovers, both past as well as potential. Between his afternoon with Thorin, the bed Fili and Bofur made, the open invitation with them, and his handsome, erotic Kili at his side, ready in a heartbeat to make his wildest fantasies come true, Bilbo's mind, emotions, and libido were tangled up together in a lump he considered most inappropriate for a hobbit about to wed. He had been putting off addressing everyone else (or attempting to) until he and Kili could marry and move forward together as a couple. Bilbo figured entertaining the requests of Fili, Bofur, and Thorin would have to wait until he and Kili had their long-awaited moment, but the three dwarrows were having trouble being patient...or, at least, in Bilbo's mind they were.

Speaking quietly to Kili, Bilbo said, "You know if we were to move beyond just watching, things would change, right?"  
Kili was wondering if they had been having a conversation of which he wasn't aware. "Hmmpf?" he said, mouth full.  
Bilbo nodded toward Fili and Bofur, who were having a strength competition with Nori and Hamfast. "Fee and Bo."  
"Oh! Well, yeah, things would change, now wouldn't they?" Kili replied simply.  
"But I mean before, you know, it was just looking, all rather innocent for how filthy it was. If it became more sexual, more _tangible_...I-I _feel_ things, Kee, and I know Bo does, too."  
Kili shrugged. "You felt things for Thorin when we were together. You were his bond-mate. You still are, if we are going to be particular about facts."  
Although they were already talking quietly so as not to be overheard, Kili whispered even lower, "Yet I helped him fill you, helped him _fuck_ you."  
Bilbo sucked in a breath and licked his lips.  
"Mmm, you like that," Kili noted mischievously.  
"It went terribly wrong at the end, but the memory of that morning never fails to quicken my pulse. The two of you together...oh my, we need to talk about something else!" Bilbo said, fanning himself.  
"My point is, if I'm no longer afraid of your feelings for Thorin, I'm less likely to fear what you feel for Bo. Thorin was the biggest threat to what we have and you're still marrying me tomorrow. We could take him to bed right now, if you were so inclined, and I know to my bones it would not change that."  
Bilbo put a hand over Kili's mouth, giggling. "You really must stop with these lewd suggestions!"  
Kili gently grasped Bilbo's wrist, pulling the hand away and kissing the back of it. "Where's the fun in that?"  
Bilbo's head fell against Kili's shoulder. "As if I weren't having enough trouble calming my prick today, you're discussing both my bondeds bedding me the night before my wedding."  
"Thorin might be amenable, but then you would be too ruined for our planned wedding night. I doubt we'd leave a drop in you," Kili purred.  
"You are a wicked, wicked creature and my britches are suddenly too tight."  
Kili sniffed nonchalantly, "Must be the third helping of cake."  
"It is _not_ the cake and you very well know it," Bilbo growled.  
"Perhaps I want you so stirred up and gagging for it by tomorrow night that you will be like the Void unleashed."  
Bilbo sighed in blissful frustration. "Blessed Valar, I'm marrying a demon!" 

*****

Thorin lost interest in the 'Ri brothers around the time Nori lost interest in the elf. He strolled a little closer to Dís, who seemed to be the sole subject of the Thain's focus. He glanced around to see where Dwalin was, grateful to discover Beorn had him involved in a drinking contest with Holman and two of the dwarrows from Ered Luin. Thorin did not need Dwalin taking a swing at Isumbras for attempted romance.

*****

Isumbras attached himself to Dís after dinner. He flattered and flirted, and at one point took her hand to kiss.

"Isn't that your wife over there, speaking to that elf?" Dís asked bluntly.  
Isumbras glanced over to indeed see his wife smiling up beguilingly at Nîfon.  
He grinned wolfishly, wondering if they'd manage both an elf and a dwarf princess in their bed tonight. "I do believe it is."  
"If you have a Chosen, why flirt and coo at me?"  
"We do like to have our fun, the missus and myself," Isumbras replied flirtatiously. Noting the sour look developing on Dís's face, he asked, "Did I offend you?"  
"Casual dalliances amongst the committed are looked upon unkindly by my people. It is not our nature to love many; just one. Without being overly crude, I will only say it is mandated by our biology once a union is consummated. If we are parted by death, perhaps--after many years--we might find it in ourselves to love again, but many dwarrows will mourn a lover until their own end."  
"My apologies, Princess!" Isumbras looked sheepish. "You are just...well, so intelligent and lovely. I could not help but be attracted."  
"And what of your lady?"  
Isumbras shrugged. "She's busy being rather entranced by one of Bilbo's elves."  
"So the two of you...?"  
Isumbras coughed awkwardly. "We are creatures of pleasure and comfort, Princess."  
"So hobbits can be married and simply--" Dís waved her hand in circles, hoping Isumbras would not make her say anything vulgar out loud.  
"Well, I suppose it is different for some folks than others. I'm a Took, and we're known for wilder blood. Although we still yearn for deep love and connection, we are not necessarily pre-dispositioned to a single love over a lifetime."

Dís looked off to the side at Bilbo and knitted her brow in thought.

Isumbras followed her gaze. "Oh! Oh no, oh my! Of course, you are worried about your lad! Bilbo may have Took blood, but he's also a Baggins--long known for being one of the most steadfast families in all the Shire. As a matter of fact, his father, Bungo, married my own cousin Belladonna. Took or not, she loved him like mad and I've never seen a couple so excited for a babe as they were for Bilbo."

Isumbras paused and hummed a fond laugh, eyes unfocused in past remembrance.

He continued, "Yes, they were all frightfully happy until Bungo sadly passed on. Our Bella was never the same after that, though she kept up a good front for her Bilbo. She told me she had promised Bungo just before he died that she'd love Bilbo enough for the both of them. She did, too. She adored him more than anyone under the sun, save perhaps Bungo himself."  
Isumbras sighed heavily, shaking off his memories to get to his point. "A Baggins settled her down and she held true to him until the end. That same Baggins blood is in Bilbo. I'm sure he got all his Took-ing out when he traipsed halfway across Middle Earth and back. Rest assured, if he has merely one drop of his parents' devotion, that lad will love whomever he loves 'til the end of his days."

Changing the subject, Isumbras still chattered away beside her, but Dís barely heard anything he said. She was far too deep in thought. She had known Bilbo's parents were not alive, of course, but there was something about Isumbras telling the story that touched her in a way it hadn't before. She understood what it was like to lose a mate and still have to find the strength to properly raise a little one, just like Belladonna. Bilbo and Kili shared the experience of losing a treasured parent. In fact, Bilbo knew that pain twice over. Dís had been dismissing him as too unlike a dwarf to ever be a proper mate for any of her kin, but hadn't he endured personal, crushing losses just as she, her lads, and Thorin had? She remembered his ferocity when she had made a snotty comment about his mother and couldn't help but cringe in renewed embarrassment. She could feel her face growing warm with shame. 

*****

Standing near enough to Dís and Isumbras to hear the whole exchange, Thorin listened to the Thain's flirtation and subsequent explanation with a great deal of personal interest. He finished his beer and went out for a smoke to sort his thoughts.

*****

Bilbo watched Thorin leave the hall, pipe in hand.  
"Kee," he whispered. "I'm going to go apologize to Thorin for my earlier behavior."  
Kili kissed his cheek. "I'm sure apologies are unnecessary, but I'll bet Thorin will be happy to have a private moment with you nonetheless."

*****

Thorin exhaled a stream of smoke into the autumn night as Bilbo opened the door.  
Attempting to be casual, Thorin remarked, "You're certainly having your share of grand feasts this week." He gestured with his pipe toward the building.  
"We all are, really. Being together like this reminds me a bit of Lake Town."

Bilbo wished he could take it back the minute it left his mouth.

Thorin smiled weakly. "Doesn't it, though?"  
"Oh, Thorin...by the Valar, I can't seem to get anything right with you today, can I? I came out here to apologize and I've gone and put the fur in it, haven't I?"  
"Apologize? For?"  
"For what I did in your room, or rather what I begged you to do. I wasn't trying to be hurtful to you or Kili either one. I just--" Bilbo made a noise of frustration. "I don't even know how to explain how I'm feeling anymore."  
"You do not need to apologize to me for that. I've spent every third moment since you left regretting I didn't let it happen. I want you as I always have." Thorin set his pipe aside. "You were barely down the hall before I had a hand in my trousers. Gods, my very blood calls out to you, but I have to remember you are not mine."

He threaded a hand through the hair at Bilbo's nape and spoke quietly. "It took me a long while to understand you, to understand Kili, to wrap my thoughts around how you could take more than one lover, and to realize how he could possibly find it permissible. This manner of thinking was altogether unknown to me. I'll wager it was likely unknown to Kili, but he is younger and more progressive...and, Mahal, how he loves you. I'm learning that my own love for you pries open doors I did not know existed. How you make us feel--Kili, me, maybe even Bofur--it is not commonly dwarvish, this sharing of love that seems to come so naturally to you. I've figured out since I've been here that it isn't something you do deliberately, with thought; it is just the way you are made. For my part, I believe I was made to be yours, and although I would rather have some of you than none of you, it was far too sharp of an ache to endure such intimacy the day before I forever lost my chance to be your wedded."  
Bilbo took a ragged breath, blinking rapidly and letting Thorin's words sink in.  
"Will I ever stop causing you pain?" he asked.  
"Will you marry me?" Thorin countered, leaning in close.  
"I'm marrying Kee," Bilbo whispered.  
Thorin moved in, lips nearly touching Bilbo's. "Then you have your answer to that question," he whispered back.

Bilbo closed his eyes, feeling a warm tear roll down his cheek. In the same instant, he felt Thorin's lips press to his. His hands clutched at Thorin's hair and he pulled the dwarf to him more urgently, opening his mouth and hoping Thorin would not step away. Accepting the invitation, a hot tongue slicked its way into Bilbo's mouth as Thorin pushed him against the meeting hall. Thorin pressed the length of his body against him, subtly rocking, hands still locked in Bilbo's hair. Bilbo did not know how much time had passed, but when Thorin eased off him, it seemed all too soon. 

Thorin gazed at Bilbo. The hobbit was flushed, his eyes were glassy, and his breathing was erratic. Loving he could still reduce Bilbo to this state with a mere kiss, Thorin longed to pick him up and carry him off. 

"This is less of a good idea than kissing in my room, you realize," Thorin said, breathing a little unsteady himself. "I'm very nearly about to have you up against this wall and who knows who might walk out that door at any moment?"  
"I'm nearly ready to be had up against this wall, but you are right. Gods, could you picture explaining this one to a drunk Dwalin?"  
"Or to my sister?" Thorin added.  
Bilbo giggled at the thought. Thorin joined him, infected by his amusement.  
"Mahal! Their faces! Could you imagine?" Thorin sputtered.  
"Dori!" Bilbo choked, laughing until he was bent over clutching his stomach.  
Thorin was holding onto Bilbo's shoulder to stay upright. "I think he'd pass out!"  
Bilbo exhaled, "I think Dís would strike me, I really would!"  
"Or me!" 

The pair looked at each other, former tears of desperation mingling with tears of mirth. Thorin swallowed hard and took several deep breaths. Bilbo could sense the king was steadying himself to put some distance between them again. Although he knew it was an act of self-preservation, Bilbo was sorry for these moments to end.

"I think we should go back to the party before we get ourselves into trouble," Thorin suggested.  
Bilbo nodded mutely.  
Thorin snatched his pipe, shook it out, and moved to open the door. "Will you be joining me?"  
Bilbo tried to jest. "I think I need a few moments to collect myself or the whole room will know I've been snogging you."  
Thorin leaned against the door and reached out a hand, brushing a couple fingers along Bilbo's chin. "You know I did not want to stop, that I wouldn't have stopped had things been but a little different? Had I my way, I'd never stop. You--you know that, do you not?"  
"I know," Bilbo murmured. "A part of me never wants you to stop."  
Thorin searched Bilbo's face but only found honesty. It was nearly too much to bear.  
"I'll always love you, Bilbo. Remember."

Thorin disappeared back into the hall, leaving Bilbo outside to sort himself out. 

*****

Bilbo had all but readied himself to head back into the party when he heard a horse approach. Peering down the path, he saw Gandalf. He was quietly relieved Gandalf had not arrived a quarter hour earlier--how would he have explained it? His relief melted into shame. With all the goings on and unexpected happenings of the day, he had completely forgotten about his friend!

"Well, isn't this the height of manners? Leaving your officiant out of the grand feast?" Gandalf said teasingly.  
"But...I...but she...w-we didn't know! It was a surprise!" Bilbo stuttered.  
Gandalf laughed. "Do not worry, my dear fellow! Oin told me of your surprise dinner this morning before I rode out to the Southfarthing. I was working on some amazements of a different sort."  
"Oh!" Bilbo exclaimed, relieved.  
Gandalf smirked as a queer look stole across Bilbo's face. "You want to know about it, don't you?"  
Bilbo smiled shyly. "Well, yes."  
"Half of it is not mine to tell, but I will say part of today's exertions were to acquire and enchant fireworks worthy of both your birthday as well as your wedding."  
"Whizpoppers!" Bilbo breathed, throwing his arms around the wizard's waist. "Oh, I had hoped! Truly I had! I did not dare ask you, though, given as you are already so busy and you had generously agreed to marry us."  
"It shall be my pleasure. Right now, a bite of dinner would be a bigger pleasure still," Gandalf said.

*****

Gandalf's arrival gladdened all, increasing the merry mood in the hall. Fili, Bofur, and Kili had all left their instruments at home, but songs easily started up with voices alone. Fili and Bofur had a private discussion with Gandalf before adding theirs to the rising chorus.

*****

Holman held his own admirably in the drinking contest, but later that evening Hamfast still had to help him out to the wagon. The younger, sober hobbit came back in to offer a ride back to Hobbiton and Bywater for anyone ready to go. Thorin accepted his offer.

"Really? Already?" Bilbo asked, disappointed.  
Thorin replied, "It was an early start for me today."  
Bilbo yawned while Thorin was speaking.  
"Seems though it was an early one for you, too. Perhaps you should consider taking the next ride out, yourself," Thorin noted gently. "After all, tomorrow will be long and festive."  
"He is right, Bee. We should get going soon," Kili agreed. "Maybe we can share his wagon back?"  
"Begging your pardon, Mister Kili, but you'll never get your goodbyes in before Master Holman has the worst of it, I don't think," Hamfast said.  
Thorin nodded. "I think the lad may be right."

Bilbo hugged Thorin close. Thorin buried his face in Bilbo's hair and breathed him in. When they relaxed their embrace, Bilbo pushed himself on his tiptoes and placed a generous kiss on the king's mouth. "Thank you for today, your help, my book...everything, really. I love you."

Thorin's glance darted to Kili when Bilbo told him he loved him, but Kili looked as unaffected as if Bilbo had simply told him "goodnight." Well, Kili would, Thorin supposed. He was the one marrying Bilbo. 

"You're very welcome, and I love you, too." Thorin said. "Kili, will you walk me out?"

Feeling the familiar sadness that always seemed to bear Thorin's name, Bilbo watched them go. 

*****

With Hamfast still inside looking for passengers and Holman already asleep in the wagon, Thorin and Kili were free to say their goodnights privately.

"Kili, I don't think I can handle tomorrow," Thorin confessed. "I thought I could, and perhaps I might change my mind in the morning, but as it stands, I don't think I can sit and watch your lovely ceremony with the proper happiness the two of you deserve. I'm sure it would not cheer the occasion to have the former groom weeping in the crowd."  
Kili replied, "I understand. I sincerely do."  
Thorin folded his lips in toward his teeth and nodded. "I know you do, in a way no one else does...not even Bilbo himself. I-I couldn't tell him tonight, Kili. You know how he is; he would have ruined his evening fussing over me until I agreed otherwise. You'll find a way to tell him for me, won't you?"  
"I will," Kili promised.

Kili regarded Thorin and wondered if the dwarf knew how much his presence would be felt, regardless. Since he had been in the Shire, Thorin had helped with errands, gifted them their beautiful crowns, attended party after party, and outright paid for tonight's feast. Truly, Thorin's love was all over this wedding...all the way down to the very outfit Kili would wear.

Kili spoke quietly. "Thank you for what you did earlier, or perhaps I should say for what you didn't do."  
Thorin looked askance at Kili.  
"Bilbo told me what happened at the inn," Kili clarified.  
Scrubbing a hand over his face, Thorin said, "He told you _that_?"  
"We agreed after he almost...well, you know, after the incident at the creek...we decided we needed to discuss matters before they grew too big for us to deal with. His feelings for you are not secret to me, but even so, I am appreciative that you did not let him get carried away by them today. It had to be quite a test of your will."

Thorin shook his head subconsciously, still almost stunned Bilbo would make such a confession. He tried to reverse the situation in his mind if his betrothal to Bilbo had not been broken and found he would not have had Kili's view of things. 

"You two are lovely together," Thorin admitted. "Although I wish my role as Bilbo's lover had not ended, I cannot deny you will be a wonderful husband for him."  


Thorin cradled Kili's face in his hands and kissed his forehead. Kili's gazed back at him with his soulful brown eyes and Thorin was flooded with memories: some sweet, some painful, and some wholly inappropriate. The combination of these thoughts moved Thorin to gently pull Kili's face forward for a tender, lingering kiss on his lips.

Hamfast joined them at the wagon just as Thorin released Kili. As Kili blinked, a drop escaped each eye.

Brushing the tears away, Thorin said, "Have a magnificent day marrying your hobbit tomorrow, Kili-colt. Don't waste the day you've longed for with any sad thoughts concerning me. Go, now. Make each other happy."

Thorin climbed up next to Hamfast. Kili found his voice.

"But you're not leaving yet, right? We _will_ see you, even if it is not tomorrow...right?" he asked.  
Thorin granted him a kind smile. "Of course you will. I can't seem to stay away, even when I try."

Kili held his hand up in parting, the joy and the pain of Thorin's blessing rippling through his core.


	33. Interlude:  Sleeping Arrangements

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Obviously, Kee will sleep with me and Bilbo will sleep in his old bed with Bofur, leaving the new bed fresh for the wedding night and ensuring Kee's virtue stays intact," Fili teased.  
> Bofur quipped, "Kee's virtue isn't so much as a wisp any longer."  
> 

Back home after the party, Kili and Bilbo were working out sleeping arrangements for the night.

"Obviously, Kee will sleep with me and Bilbo will sleep in his old bed with Bofur, leaving the new bed fresh for the wedding night and ensuring Kee's virtue stays intact," Fili teased.  
Bofur quipped, "Kee's virtue isn't so much as a wisp any longer."  
"Hey! What about _my_ virtue?" Bilbo argued.  
Fili shot him a look. "What virtue?"  
Bilbo stuck his tongue out.  
Fili rolled his eyes. "You are becoming more like Kee every day."  
"Thank you," Kili said, tugging Bilbo closer to his side.  
"So, we're settled then?" Bofur asked.  
"Yes, but..." Bilbo trailed off nervously, eyeing Bofur.  
Bofur bowed with a flourish. "I promise, Master Baggins, I shall be nothing but the very picture of honor. You may sleep soundly with no fear of molestation," he intoned formally.  
Bilbo replied quickly, "No, no, of course not! I didn't mean to imply."

" _It isn't_ you _I'm worried about_ ," he added to himself. 

*****

Bilbo brushed through Kili's hair, sitting on their old bed. 

"So, Fee is going to give you some manner of proper dwarven braids tomorrow?"  
"As is tradition. Bofur will be plaiting you some as well. It is all part of their roles, as is The Blessing before the ceremony."  
"Hobbits usually have witnesses, but this whole kiss-and-well-wishing thing seems almost odd for how jealously dwarrows typically guard their lovers," Bilbo said.  
"The person paired with you is always someone incredibly close to you--someone with a family bond, a battle bond, or something of that sort that would make a gentle tender of affection not so out of place." 

Bilbo felt a twinge of something he could not describe. Had Kili's feelings for him gone unspoken and the wedding to Thorin played out as originally planned, Kili would have doubtlessly been the one Bilbo had chosen for his pairing. As far back as Rivendell, there had been no one closer to Bilbo than Kili. Gods, how had he been so unable to see?

Kili continued, "It is also done in the presence of the intended, which I'm sure helps soothe jealousies. I would have to say in our particular situation the kisses will likely be a bit more...um, more."  
Bilbo chuckled. "I think it is a lovely tradition. I daresay with all the trends springing from dwarven matters, hobbits might enjoy this one especially. No one will really see it, though."  
Kili agreed. "No. Although I do love to show you off, The Blessing is a private exchange and it is sacred to us. I would not wish to change it."  
"You can always grab my arse in front of everyone when we're dancing to make up for it," Bilbo joked. 

Bilbo handed Kili the brush and they traded places.

"What shall I brush when you cut off all this hair?" Kili asked.  
"You can go back to tending my feet. Don't think I've not noticed the time you used to lavish on my legs and feet has diminished with each bit the hair on my head lengthens."  
Kili gently tugged Bilbo's courting braid. "You know that is not true! Well, not completely, anyway."

After a couple more moments in silence, Bilbo noted, "It is going to be difficult to be without you tonight, dear heart."  
"We've been apart for worse reasons. It will make me that much more happy in the morning to see you, though, I can tell you for certain."  
"Fee and Bo have not slept apart since Bo joined us. It will be tough for them, too."  
"I'm sure it will soothe Bo to have his best friend with him," Kili reassured him.  
"Kee, I promise--no fooling around! I'm going to bed clothed and clothed I'm going to stay," Bilbo vowed.  
"I've told you many times, Bilbo: you are your own hobbit. You know how I feel about it and what my boundaries are, but the ring around your finger is not a chain. Even if you had made love with Thorin today, it would have been your decision to make. It is my hope my feelings will always factor into the decisions you make as yours factor into mine. Making you or Bofur sleep in an armchair is only a temporary solution if I cannot trust you to keep true to us and the things we've discussed."  
Bilbo turned around and took the brush from Kili's hands. He smoothed a palm down Kili's cheek. "You are a wonder, Kee. I will be incredibly privileged to be your husband."

Kili opened his mouth to respond, but instead found it full of Bilbo's kiss. He enveloped Bilbo in his arms and told him everything he wanted to say without words. 

*****

Bofur dug through his clothes to find something suitable to wear to bed.

"I s'pose we should have had Wilibald make us nightshirts, yeah?" Bofur said, glancing back at Fili.  
Fili shrugged. "I had not anticipated the need for one, either."  
Bofur shook out a looser tunic and a pair of more comfortable trousers. "This will have to do, unless Bee can root something out of his clothes room."  
Fili smoothed his hands over Bofur's back. "Nothing a hobbit would have would fit over these strong shoulders," he purred.  
"Gods, Fee! Do we have time?"  
"I'm sure we have as much time as we want. I will say a part of me wants to send you to bed tonight freshly fucked since I won't be sleeping alongside you."  
Bofur spun around and grabbed Fili up in his arms, kissing him passionately. "This will be our first real night apart since our courtship began," he whispered.  
"I know."  
"Does it bother you that I will be resting with Bee?"  
Fili shook his head. "I will miss you, to be sure, but Bee and Kee have their reasons for sleeping apart and will doubtless return the favor when it is time for us to wed."  
"No, I mean...that I will be sleeping in the same bed with Bee. Close to him. Without you or Kee," Bofur said.  
"I trust you and I trust Bee. Although I see you as a delightful temptation, I know Bee wouldn't ruin his wedding night with Kee. I also figure you know that while I consider a private kiss or two to be one thing, I very much wish to be a part of it if Bee allows us to cross the invisible line he has drawn."  
Bofur insisted, "I haven't kissed him since that day on the hill when we were fighting."  
"More's the shame for you, then, because I would not have minded a few stolen kisses between the two of you. At any rate, you'll get your chance at another one tomorrow."  
Bofur grinned. "As will you."  
"I must admit I'm anticipating it a little. It is well past time for me to find out what all the fuss is with this hobbit." Fili lowered himself to his knees. "In the meantime, I'm going to give you something to dream about."

*****

Thorin was in his bed, unable to silence his mind enough to sleep. Bilbo was marrying Kili in less than a day. Despite months of efforts, he had been unable to stop it, he couldn't change it...he couldn't even join it. For the thousandth time, Thorin wished he could go back to the day he terribly (and almost tragically) upset Bilbo by kissing Kili. He had been close--so close--to having a part of Bilbo he could hold onto. Thorin felt it the morning they repeatedly made love in Bag End: Bilbo still wanted him, still _loved_ him. There was nothing empty about what passed between the two of them that day. Bilbo's reaction to Thorin's decision to mourn them was further proof, to say nothing of what had transpired today in his room. 

Thorin squeezed his eyes shut in regret. He should have simply told them of his proposal instead of using arousal to convince Kili it was in his best interest. He may have still been denied, but perhaps it would have opened a discussion of what they could have and do instead. Bilbo would not share Kili, but Kili might have still been willing to share Bilbo, which was Thorin's point in putting forth the arrangement at all. Although it had been contrary to everything he had previously believed, he knew without a doubt he could have handled Kili being Bilbo's husband if Thorin could have been the hobbit's lover.

He stared at the ceiling, thinking of things that might have been.

*****

In Fee's bed, Kili instinctively cuddled into his brother. Fili smiled in the dark and wrapped an arm around him.

“We’ve not done this since the siege, bedding down with the two of us like this,” Fili noted.  
“Remember when I was young, how even when I got my own room I’d sneak into yours every night?”  
“When you were young? You were doing that up until the week we left for Erebor,” Fili teased.  
Kili rocked Fili’s body in protest. “Shut up!” he said playfully.  
Fili laughed. “You've always wanted to be where I was, ever since you were big enough to walk. This time, though, it was me who followed you. You’ve really grown up, Kee.”  
“I’m so grateful you came with us to the Shire. I was worried perhaps you wouldn’t, being in line for the throne.”  
“We’re no good apart, you know," Fili reminded Kili. "I belong by your side. Right now, it is in the Shire. Some day, you’ll return the favor and stand by my side in Erebor…or wherever Bo and I happen to land.”

*****

Bilbo and Bofur lay side by side, on their backs, at least a pace of room between them.

“Bee, I’m not made of sharp points. You can relax a little,” Bofur joked.  
“Me? What about you? You’re practically falling off the other side of the bed.”  
Bofur confessed, “I’m trying not to touch you.”  
“Well, I’m trying not to touch you!” Bilbo countered.  
They laughed at their shared reticence.  
“I’ll tell you my reason if you tell me yours,” Bofur offered jovially.  
Bilbo exhaled. “I’ve been wound so tightly today, I swear my prick is about to explode. Kee and I have agreed no self-pleasure to make tomorrow night better, so of course today _would_ be the day that you gift me with a sex bed, Thorin and I decide to reminisce about Lake Town, Kili spends half of dessert talking filthy to me…and now I’m sleeping in a bed with you for the first time, ever. All my instincts tell me I should roll over and kiss you until we burst, but I can’t.”  
“Well, that’s a pickle and no doubt about it," agreed Bofur. "My reasoning is perhaps not as urgent as yours, but isn’t too far off. You’ve told me your reasons for wanting to keep things between you and Kee and although I can’t help my flirting, I’ve made huge efforts not to push. I’m worried if I touch you, I’ll want to hold you. If I hold you, I’m going to want to kiss you. If I kiss you, I’ll start to babbling about the things I want to do to you and sooner or later, you’re going to shove me onto the floor because I’m disrespecting your wishes…and you’d be right to. It is much easier if I just stay over here.”  
Bilbo giggled. “Aren’t we a pair?”  
“Right? Fee and Kee are probably snoozing like babes right now.”  
“Perhaps you should have shared with Kee and let me have Fee,’ Bilbo said.  
“Like sending a moth to tame a dragon!” Bo said. “Fee is worse than I am, if you can believe it.”  
“Well, we’ll just have to make the best of it. It…it is rather pleasant, sharing a bed with you. For actual sleeping, I mean.”  
“I like it, too,” Bofur said. 

Slowly, hesitantly, a hand found Bilbo’s in the dark. 

“This okay, Bee?”  
Bilbo sighed and relaxed into his pillow. “Yes, that is quite lovely.”

*****

"Thorin isn't going to be there tomorrow," Kili said.  
"How do you know?"  
"He told me."  
Fili frowned. "Do you believe him?"  
Explained Kili, "He said we deserved better than him being sad in the midst of all our friends and family. I suppose that means he might still be there somewhere, but not so anyone could see him publicly."  
"I'm a little surprised he isn't going to try to tough it out, after all the progress the three of you have made," Fili remarked. "I think you might be right, though. He'll be around. What did Bee say to that?"  
"Thorin hasn't told him. He thought Bee might keep on him until he relented, likely spoiling tonight for himself in the meantime. He asked me to find a way to tell him. I'll tell him tomorrow, when he can't march over to the inn trying to change Thorin's mind."  
"That is probably a good idea. I know you might not want to hear it, Kee, but that was rather thoughtful of Thorin, not wanting to ruin Bee's night with sad news. Since the day the two of you took him to bed, he's been, well...different. Who knew that was all it would take?"  
Kili bristled. "You say 'all' like it didn't come at a cost. I--we--almost lost Bee. A lot of tears and anguish were involved...not to mention, it cost you and Bo your invitation into bed with us."  
"It--wait, what?" Fili asked, surprised.  
"I told you before, right after we took Thorin to bed, Bee was talking about you and Bo. He reasoned if we had granted that access to Thorin, there was no point in holding back with the two of you. The next day happened, along with its aftermath, and Bee's comfort with sharing our bed was frightened right out of him."  
"I remember you telling me. I suppose I simply hadn't realized how sharply it had changed our fortunes."  
"So much changed so quickly. I shudder to think how tomorrow might not have happened, for any number of reasons," Kili said.  
Fili squeezed Kili tightly. "It _is_ happening, Kee."  
Kili hummed happily. "It is, isn't it?"  


*****

Bilbo woke in the dark to warmth next to him. Bofur had rolled against him, still snoring softly. Bilbo grinned in the dark and snuggled in affectionately. He yawned and fell back to sleep.


	34. The Wedding:  Preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili and Bofur help Kili and BIlbo get ready for their big day. Thorin is conflicted.

Bofur woke the next morning to the smell of cooking wafting down the hall, well-rested and cradling a body that did not feel like Fili's. Eyes fluttering open, he couldn't see much other than the sandy-colored head resting against his chest. He felt his heart beat a little faster once his brain added together his senses enough to realize a hobbit was rather firmly cuddled into him. Bofur allowed himself to bask in it for a moment before he moved to wake Bilbo.

 

 

*****

Fili had risen ahead of the household and made them breakfast. The smell of delicious food drew the others from their bedrooms, still stretching and yawning due to the early hour. While they ate, a bath schedule was agreed upon and rooms were chosen for preparations for each of the grooms. Fili would help Kili get ready in Fili's room, Bofur would assist Bilbo in the master bedroom, and they would meet outside Bag End to wind flowers in their hair before heading over to the Party Tree (and the virtual tent village Bilbo had ordered erected for the events of the day). Bilbo was grateful for the delayed onset of fall, otherwise there would be no more of the late summer wildflowers to be plaited. With breakfast finished and plans made, Bilbo and Kili kissed each other goodbye for the morning.

 

*****

Ori stopped by Bag End with Chadham, Thodora, and a pony with a cart to pick up Bilbo's mathoms for the mathom tent. Bilbo handed them bags of coins, too, and a list besides.

"All children get a penny from the penny bag and the toy with their name on it," Bilbo instructed Ori. "If I've missed any--and hopefully I haven't--there are some extra toys with no names on them. There is a list of the adult guests. Some are marked 'mathom.' Those get a coin from the silver bag and a mathom. The ones marked 'coin' get a silver coin and no mathom. Dwarrows from Erebor get mathoms only, because your mathoms are grander and because I know not a one of you likely has use for more coinage. Tied to the bag of silver coins is another bag filled with _gold_ coins. Should any of Dís's escort from Ered Luin join her today, give them a gold coin in place of a mathom. I know the Ered Luin dwarrows have a long road and likely no stake in the treasure when they arrive. If Dís should visit for hers before Kili and I have a chance to speak with her, send her to me. Kili is carrying a bag of gems and coins for her specifically."

Ori nodded and glanced at the list, trying to memorize Bilbo's complicated instructions. Bilbo had uttered the word 'mathom' so many times, it no longer sounded like a real word to Ori.

"Okay, Bilbo! We've got it," Thodora said.  
Ori turned to glance at her in awe. "You do?"  
"Yes, it makes perfect sense to me. Chadham?"  
Chadham nodded enthusiastically.  
"Well, alright then. Seems we've got it," Ori said, a bit unsure of himself.  
"Good! Now, if you should give me a moment..." Bilbo said, begging pardon and darting down the hall.

He returned with three gifts: A gold pen, nibbed in silver and inlaid with rubies for Ori, a delicate, golden hair comb for Thodora, and a real silver belt buckle for Chadham.

"Bilbo! These are much too fine to be mathoms!" Thodora protested.  
"You're going to cause quite a stir in the neighborhood!" Chadham added. "I thought you were mad to be giving away the coins as it was!"  
Thodora elbowed him hard.  
"Ow! Well, I did," Chadham protested.  
Bilbo smiled kindly. "First of all, not everyone's mathom gifts are as fine as yours, but as you two are special to Ori, you are special to me. As far as the coins go, I've more gold yet sitting in that mountain that anyone who has not seen it can imagine. Considering today is the long-awaited occasion of my wedding as well as my birthday, I don't imagine it will seem too bizarre that I should feel generous, and what if it is? Never let it be said that Bilbo Baggins and his dwarrows returned from Erebor misers."  
"You know folks will talk about you for weeks, maybe even years!" Chadham said, still fondly running his fingers over the gleaming buckle.  
"They would have talked, regardless. Had I not been so open to share, the talk would have been bitter but there would have been talk nonetheless. If I had returned alone and still a bachelor, I think the rumor mill would still have turned in my name! With no one to corroborate my stories, who knows what folks might have said?" Bilbo chuckled. "Worry not about me, my lad. Although I hope my gifts are received as more than mere boasts, as long as I have my dwarrows, people can talk until their voices are nothing more than a whisper and it will not make any difference to me. "

 

 

*****

Thorin slept as late as he could, then rolled over to sleep a little longer. The less of this day he was conscious, the better. He flopped on his stomach in an attempt to avoid the sunlight creeping in through his window.

"Hateful day," he muttered. "Worst day of my life."

Of course, he knew he was being overly dramatic. It wasn't true, not by a long road. The worst day of his life was in actuality a three-way tie: the day his mother passed, the day the dragon came, and the Battle of Azanulbizar. The deaths of his loved ones were far, far worse than what he was about to endure and deep down he knew it, but losing someone who yet drew breath came with its own pain. He chuckled bitterly at his foolishness. He had been ready to leave Bilbo for dead not a week ago, yet today he was bemoaning his plight. Bilbo _lived_ , which was a kinder fate than his mother, grandfather, brother, and possibly his father were granted. He forced himself to stop feeling sorry for himself for a few minutes, long enough to get out of bed.

*****

Bilbo emerged from his bath to find Kili hovering outside the door. The dwarf's hair was un-plaited and he was not yet in his wedding garb.

"Come on," Kili said, snatching Bilbo's hand. He led them to their bedroom.  
"Kee! We agreed-"  
"I'm not bringing you in here for sex, although it sounds beyond fantastic right now. I wanted a moment alone with you before Fili whisks me off for preparations and the day becomes a community affair."

Kili dug into his pockets and pulled out a small pouch.

"Another bag?" Bilbo asked.  
Kili took Bilbo's hand and laid the bag in his palm. "Yes, but this one is not for me."  
Bilbo looked up at Kili with a furrowed brow and a curious smile.  
"Don't stand there all day," Kili chided affectionately. "Look inside."

Bilbo carefully shook the contents of the bag out into his palm. Shank-style, gold buttons shone in the daylight, each carefully detailed on the face with a raised acorn. Bilbo picked one up in the other hand, marveling at how seamless and perfect it was.

"I made them myself," Kili said. "I still had a bit of help for the tiniest detail on the acorn caps, but not as much as I would have had to have before we visited Rivendell. Do you like them? They are made with actual gold--they aren't brass or anything."  
Bilbo threw his arms around Kili. "I love them! What a talent you have! Only..."  
Kili relaxed his hold around Bilbo. "Only?" he repeated, heart sinking a tad.  
"I did not get you an additional gift," despaired Bilbo.  
Kili gently pushed Bilbo back to gaze into his eyes. "Well, now, it is not _my_ birthday, is it?"  
"But we were going to give ourselves-"  
"-to each other, yes I know, but as a dwarf, I wanted to give you something else, wrought by my own hands. Wedding gift, birthday gift, however you wish to speak of them, I wanted to give you something special for today. Before you go sputtering and worrying, remember you are throwing us this amazing wedding under the Party Tree--bigger and better than the one of which I used to dream--and you've come into this union with a lovely home you've consented to share with me. You've run yourself nearly mad making sure our guests had comfortable places to sleep and enough food to eat. You've flattered and been terribly gracious to my Mam, despite her being discourteous to you under your own roof. Atop all that, I get to marry you at long last. I think if you had given me any additional gifts, I should be embarrassed by the vulgarity of your generosity."  
Bilbo smiled adoringly at Kili. "These are simply beautiful. I'm going to sew them on my wedding waistcoat right away."  
"I didn't mean you had to wear them today, just that I wanted you to have them."  
"And what better day to begin wearing them? If the wedding were in five minutes, it would simply have to wait for me to sew these because I'm not getting married without them."  
Kili's grin was wide and proud. "I love you."

There was a tap on the door.

"Is Kee in there with you?" Bofur asked, peeking in. His eyes landed on the dwarf. "Hey! Fee is looking for you."  
Kili kissed Bilbo soundly. "I'll see you later, yes?"  
"You can be certain," Bilbo flirted.  
As Kili darted down the hall to look for his brother, Bilbo called after him, "I love you, too!"

 

 

*****

In his search for a needle and thread, Bilbo opened the drawer that had his magic ring, the band he considered his "other ring" now that he wore Kili's. Other than Gandalf's questioning, Bilbo hadn't thought much about the ring since the horrible fighting. Thinking back, he realized hardly bothered to carry it much at all since he returned home with Kili, Fili, and Bofur. It seemed peculiar how little he thought of it, considering all the months he counted it as nearly an extension of himself, frantic if he could not feel its presence in his pocket at all times. He stared a little longer, wondering if perhaps he should carry it as a token of good luck for his wedding.

"Bee!" Bofur entered the room, interrupting Bilbo's thoughts. "I found a needle and thread. They were in the side table in the sitting room, as you had guessed they might be."

With Bofur's voice and wedding thoughts pushing the ring to the back of his mind once again, Bilbo closed the drawer and faced Bofur with a grin. "Good! Just let me get these buttons sewn on and I'll be ready to get dressed and braided."

 

 

*****

Dwalin and Dís came to gather Thorin to go over to the Party Tree and tent-grounds. Bilbo and Kili had encouraged the guests to arrive early for a touch of lunch, to pick up their mathoms, and otherwise socialize until it was time for the ceremony. Dís was immensely curious at how hobbit weddings were conducted. The offer of food both before and after was a tradition unknown to her, but she had learned food was central to most hobbit affairs, whether they be big or small. She had nearly convinced herself that maybe Bilbo truly was a victim of his heart's wild nature and perhaps he wasn't all bad...then she saw Thorin's face when he opened the door. With alarm, she took in the circles under his bloodshot eyes, the odd pallor to his skin, and that fuzzy patch at his temple where one of his glorious braids used to hang. Bilbo irritated her all over again.

Thorin had been dreading telling Dís he would not be attending the ceremony with them, but she put up blessedly little argument.

Regarding Thorin with sisterly concern, Dís merely said, "Are you sure you will be well here all on your own? It does not feel right leaving you."  
"Go for the both of us. I've already given Kili my love; you will not have an awkward explanation to make." Thorin kissed her cheek. "Go on, now."  
Dwalin clasped Thorin's forearm. "Would you like us to bring you a plate of something to eat later?"  
"The whole of the Shire is not shutting down for Bilbo's wedding. The Green Dragon might be a bit emptier, but it won't be closed," Thorin assured him.

Thorin shut the door after them, resting his forehead against it.

 

 

*****

Buttons sewn (and looking very smart, if Bilbo could say so himself), Bilbo and Bofur perused the extra jewelry Fili packed Bilbo from Erebor. If ever he were to be ostentatious, Bilbo figured, today would be the day. Although Kili might not be the most _dwarven_ of dwarrows, he knew extra adornment would be appropriate for his status as a prince's husband, particularly amongst their dwarven guests...and Dís.

"No. No. No," Bilbo said with each piece he passed over, his impatience growing.  
Bofur peeked into another chest. "Oi, what about this one, here? Some of these pieces seem much more your taste, if you ask me."  
"That's--that's Thorin's, the one he sent with me."  
"Oh," Bofur replied quietly.

Bilbo looked into it. Thorin had picked some elaborate pieces, to be true, but many more of them seemed to be carefully selected with Bilbo's sensibilities in mind. Thorin had obviously planned for Bilbo to wear them...and appeared to know him better than he realized.

"This seems...like it would go," said Bilbo, lifting out an elegant brooch. "Do you think it would be inadvisable to wear any of these things?"  
"Do I think it would upset Kee, do you mean? Or that it would break Thorin's heart?"

Bilbo flushed with embarrassment, knowing he should not be so vain as to be considering Thorin's jewels at all.

"Uh, both, I suppose," Bilbo replied.  
"Well," Bofur said, stroking his beard. "You'll already be wearing a crown Thorin made for you with his own two hands, you and Kee both. I think any exception Kee might have would have started with those. As for Thorin, at the risk of being a little harsh--and realize I'm not trying to make you feel bad--I would say this entire day is a heartache for him. Wearing a few of his jewels could not make him feel much worse."  
Bilbo sighed heavily. "I-I should very much like to wear something appropriate to be marrying a prince."  
Bofur smiled and laid a comforting hand on Bilbo's shoulder. "Then let us look through this box and see what else we find."

 

 

*****

"Mahal, Kee! How many pieces _are_ there to this outfit?" Fili said, helping Kili into his second layer.  
Kili shrugged. "I don't know. I figured you'd be more knowledgable about all this pomp and ceremony."  
"You say that as though you weren't there for the majority of our schooling. It is not as though I took a wardrobing class when you weren't looking. I haven't even seen some of these bits before, not on anyone! What is this, a sash?"  
Kili studied it. "Wait, Thorin showed me how to do that. I think it goes--no, hold on. It goes on the next set."  
"If Thorin wishes you to dress in the raiment of kings, then a king needs to be here to make sure you get it right," Fili grumbled.  
Kili smiled wistfully. "I would have liked that, but that would have been far too much for him. I'm still fairly shocked he had this made at all."  
"Oh!" Fili said, suddenly distressed.  
Kili twisted this way and that, looking around. "What? What happened?"  
"I just realized--if you have to dress like this for your wedding in the Shire, what am I going to be expected to wear for my Ereborian wedding?"

 

*****

Bilbo was dressed and bejeweled. In addition to his ring and the crown he would be wearing, Bilbo wore a thick, sturdy, gold necklace and the brooch he selected. None of the dwarven rings would fit him without an adjustment, and they had a similar problem with the bracelets. Still, turning to look at himself, Bilbo was pleased. Wilibald had made him new brocaded trousers and a matching waistcoat, the closest approximation to Kili's blue as they could get. Bilbo's jacket was a lovely deep green velvet that set off the blue nicely. His shirt was crisp and white, the necklace laid under the collar while an ascot the shade of his jacket was tucked within. He felt appropriately regal.

Asked Bilbo, "What do you think? Do I look fit to wed?"  
Bofur sat on the edge of the bed, squinting.  
"Aye, you look incredibly handsome," he said hesitantly, "but you're wanting to take this up a notch, yes? For Kili's title and for folks like Dwalin and Dís?"  
Bilbo frowned and looked down. "Yes, why?"  
"There's something missing still." Noting Bilbo's fallen expression, Bofur quickly corrected himself. "No, no, you look fantastic. Just let me..."

Bofur trailed off as he carefully went through Thorin's treasure chest. He picked up a wide cuff of gold, detailed with sapphires and diamonds. It seemed fairly large on the inside, as though it were made for a dwarf to wear further up the forearm from the wrist. He fiddled with it experimentally, mumbling to himself. He called Bilbo over and set to fastening it around one of the hobbit's ankles.

"It fits!" Bofur exclaimed, sitting back on the floor to get a good look. "Step back a bit. Aye, I believe that has done it."

Bilbo glanced in the mirror. The combination of things seemed a bit much for him, personally, though he rather liked the look of an adorned ankle. He might not have thought of it himself.

"You don't think it is over-doing things, do you?" Bilbo asked.  
"No, this is perfect. It is the right blend of dwarf against hobbit. I think Dís will be pleased with the effort, to say nothing of your intended."

Bilbo smiled in spite of his own hesitancy. There was no one better to ask about dwarven nature than a dwarf, after all.

"Thank you for your help with this, Bo. I'm sure I would have been quite lost."  
"Always my pleasure. Now, if you'll kindly remove your ascot and your coat, I believe it is time for the braiding."

 

 

*****

Thorin stomped back into his room for the fourth time in ten minutes. He grabbed a pillow and screamed his frustration into it before dropping it and leaving again.

The fifth time he returned to his room, he had gotten nearly to the bottom of the stairs before he changed his mind. He paced in irritation.

"No, I'm not going," he mumbled to himself. "Why put myself through it? It is happening and that is that. Doesn't mean I need to see it."

Thorin sat firmly on the bed, arms crossed decisively. He jutted his chin forward at an invisible foe.  
"Hmmmph," he said, defiantly.

After a moment, he drummed his fingers against his forearm. A couple more moments later, his leg was jiggling nervously.

"Oh, _balls_!" he shouted, storming out the door.

 

 

*****

Finished being dressed, braided, adorned--everything short of crowned and flowered--Kili stood in front of his brother.

"Well?" he asked expectantly.

Fili took in Kili from head to toe, recognizing his brother's sweet face but otherwise unsure of who this stately dwarf was standing before him. His heart caught in his throat as Prince Kili of Erebor blinked earnestly back at him, waiting for his approval.

Fili exhaled. "Honestly, I've never seen even Thorin dressed so fine. He's certainly gone to lengths to make you look every bit of your title. Durin's beard, Kee, you truly look magnificent."

Fili grinned but Kili didn't smile back.

"But, do I...do I look... _handsome_?" Kili asked softly.

Unbidden tears pricked Fili's eyes. After all was said and done, with as much as Bilbo loved his brother and as beautiful as he was, it killed Fili to know Kili was still haunted by his old insecurities.

"Oh, Kee," Fili said, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "You look so very, very handsome. Durin himself didn't look as gorgeous on his wedding day."

Kili beamed and hugged his brother.

 

 

*****

Bofur wound two plaits on either side of Bilbo's face, pulling them back to join into a more elaborate braid behind his head. The remainder of his hair and his original courting braid hung loose. He finished it off with Kili's clasp and sat behind Bilbo, spreading his legs on either side of the hobbit's to get closer. He wrapped his arms around Bilbo in a tender embrace and sighed contentedly.

Bilbo reached up to touch Bofur's hands, knowing how lovingly his hair was just braided by them.

"Bo?"  
"Hmm?"  
"Does it-does it bother you that I'm getting married today?"  
Bofur gently kissed Bilbo's neck just below his jaw. "No, oddly enough. There's something about you and Kee. The two of you together seems right--you should have wed long ago. Although, had the joint experiment with Thorin not ended so horribly, I think I could have shared a bond with you. I still wish it sometimes."

Bofur's confession would be shockingly personal at any time, but it seemed doubly so to Bilbo on his very wedding day. Possibly, were it anyone other than his kind and thoughtful Bofur, Bilbo would be galled at the cheek. Instead, he tucked it away warmly in Bofur's section of his heart, recognizing it for the gift it was.

Bofur asked, "'Bout you? With Fee and I, I mean."  
"No. I feel like you two were fated for one another." Bilbo scooted forward and turned to face Bofur on his knees. "But it has not stopped me from loving you, Bo."  
Bilbo stroked down Bofur's face, smoothing down his beard. "I love you dearly."

Bofur reached up for Bilbo's neck, pulling him down first for one chaste kiss, then another.

"Let's go get you married," Bofur said.

He climbed off the bed and held out a hand for Bilbo. Fingers wound together, they went in search of Kili and Fili.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the reblogs, recs, encouragement, messages, art, graphics, and everything else. I appreciate you all so much and your comments are the air I breathe, I swear.


	35. The Wedding:  The Blessing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo participates in a rather enjoyable dwarven wedding custom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be paraphrasing, altering, or outright borrowing Tolkien's passages from Bilbo's 111th birthday party in "The Fellowship Of The Ring" for this and likely the next couple of chapters. It is my thought that, were Bilbo rich beyond measure and marrying royalty, his wedding would be of similar magnitude if not greater.

Dís, Dwalin, and the other dwarrows met up with a teeming contingent of hobbits in the large field, south of Bilbo's front door. She noticed a special entrance was cut into the bank leading to the road, with wide steps and a white gate built special. " _When did they arrange that?_ " she wondered, having been through the tent locations with Kili when they were nothing more than ropes and poles. She gazed up at wonder at an especially large pavilion, so big that the tree that grew in the field was right inside it. She peeked inside, noting the tree standing proudly near one end, at the head of the chief table. Lanterns were hung on all its branches. Backing out, she turned her attention to a marvel: an enormous open-air kitchen was erected in the north corner of the field. A cadre of cooks, from every inn and eating-house for miles around, had arrived to feed the guests. Dís was astonished. Kili told her he, Bilbo, and Fili planned out a few details, but mentioned Bilbo had put nearly all the plans in motion alone while Kili was in Ered Luin explaining himself. Even as a princess, Dís had seen few celebrations like this in her lifetime, and this one was all for her son and his Chosen.

*****

Dori and Beorn greeted guests at the white gate on Bilbo's behalf. Just inside, Gandalf chatted amiably with the elves and Isumbras. Ori, Chadham, and Thodora were quite busy at the mathom tent, handing out presents, toys, and coins to the letter of Bilbo's instructions.

When every guest had been welcomed inside the gate, they found music, games, and food and drink to pass the time until the wedding itself. There were to be three official meals: lunch, tea, and dinner. Lunch would happen before the wedding, tea would happen immediately after, and dinner a little later after that. 

Adults and children alike were particularly excited to hear confirmation of the rumor that the grooms were to be gifted fireworks from Gandalf. This was special because they were not only brought by the wizard, but designed, made by, and to be let off by him as well. In addition, there was also a generous distribution of squibs, crackers, backarappers, sparklers, torches, dwarf-candles, elf- fountains, goblin-barkers and thunder-claps. Wedding aside, this would be a party the likes of which the Shire had never seen. 

*****

Kili stood in front of Bag End with Fili, shuffling nervously.

"Stop fidgeting," Fili said. "He's going to love it, you know. He's going to think you look amazing."

Kili smiled with his brother's reassurance, grateful for the dozenth time Fili was with him. As part of the wedding preparations, each dwarf had a Pair. The Pair spent the wedding day with the dwarf, helping him or her groom and dress. The Pair also bestowed The Blessing on the couple, giving a good wish to each of them and sealing it with a kiss. For Kili, it could have been no one other than Fili. He wondered who Bilbo's Pair would have been had he married Thorin as he originally planned? Would it still have been Bofur? Or would it have been him? Kili tried to imagine The Blessing had he been Bilbo's Pair and couldn't help but laugh at the horror that would have ensued. They would have gotten thrown out of Bilbo's own wedding...or worse. Even had Kili never stolen that first kiss in Lake Town, there could have been no hiding what was between them once their lips met.

"What is so funny, fool?" Fili teased.  
Kili shook his head. "Nothing."

*****

Bofur poked his head out the door to see Kili and Fili standing on Bilbo's path. He opened the door wider.

"Kili, I present to you your future husband," Bofur said, bowing dramatically for effect. 

With Bofur standing away, Bilbo stepped out onto the path. Bilbo and Kili both gasped to see the other. They spoke at the same time. 

"You look--"  
"Yavanna's grace, Kee--"

Kili pulled Bilbo into his arms and murmured in his ear. "Truly, you look exquisite. Tell me why haven't we been stripping you naked and dressing you back up in nothing but jewels every night?"  
Bilbo smirked. "I didn't know you had such an interest."  
Kili licked his lips. "Neither did I. Guess I've not turned hobbit or elf, after all."  
"Guess not. Good thing, too, because you look breathtakingly handsome as a dwarf."  
Beaming, Kili stood back and twirled. "You think so? All this isn't too much?"  
"I was referring to when you had on naught but your skin," Bilbo flirted.  
Kili hugged him hard again.  
"Though I must admit you look quite fetching in this particular outfit," Bilbo continued. "I've never seen anything quite so amazing. I'd be feeling terribly envious my own outfit wasn't dotted with sapphires if it weren't for my fine, gold buttons."

Bilbo opened his coat for Kili to see he had kept his word and worn them. Kili flashed him a bright smile.

"Bee, you look great! I have to agree, the jewels are most becoming," Fili said.  
"The anklet was my idea," Bofur boasted.  
Fili nodded. "A good one, too. Well, shall we get to the braiding?"

Bilbo and Kili re-plaited each other's courting braids, weaving in fall wildflowers. They stole tender glances at each other while they worked.

"I've dreamed of this day since the first time you tucked a flower in my hair," Kili admitted softly.  
The memory filled Bilbo with warmth. "We do not have to wait any longer, dear heart."

Fili lifted the wooden case from the bench where it had been sitting, opening it to present them with the crowns Thorin had gifted them. Taking out Bilbo's, Kili carefully wound a couple stems through openings in the design, mindful not to interfere with its own beauty. He handed the crown to Bofur, who in turn crowned a kneeling Bilbo. Bilbo stood and lifted his head, smiling. 

"Cor," Bofur breathed in amazement. He had never seen Bilbo look so lovely. 

Bilbo took Kili's crown, adding flowers as Kili had. Presenting it to Fili, Bilbo watched with pride as Kili was crowned by his brother. 

Astonished for the second time in as many moments, Bofur said, "Bless me, if it isn't Prince Kili of Erebor!"

Fili and Bofur exchanged approving looks, though Bilbo and Kili had trouble turning their gazes to anything but one another. 

Fili cleared his throat and said, "Well, it is nearly time, but before we head to the Party Tree, we have a bit of a gift for you, Bilbo. For your birthday."  
"That bed! The bed is gift enough for a decade of birthdays," Bilbo protested.  
Bofur held up a hand. "We knew you'd say so, but nonetheless, it is done."  
"What is done?" Bilbo asked.  
"Gandalf visited the Southfarthing yesterday. We sent along some coin with him and he has acquired several barrels of Old Toby for you to use however you see fit," Fili said.  
Bofur added, "Because wizards--and Guardians--do not do errands simply on the whims of dwarrows and hobbits, I feel compelled to note the acquisition was his gift as much as the purchasing was ours."  
"Several--several barrels?" Bilbo said. "I cannot believe you managed it! I could never get them to part with more than two at a time!"  
"Who knows with Gandalf?" Fili mused. "They will be in the mathom tent for you, presumably with Ori watching over them at present."  
Bilbo embraced them both. "Thank you! How thoughtful!"  
"It was a little self-serving too, make no mistake," noted Bofur. "I'm sure we'll get to share in them, plus we got hugs for our trouble besides!"  
"We should walk toward the tents, now. It isn't long until we are due to start," Fili urged. 

Clasping Bilbo's hand, Kili followed Fili and Bofur to his wedding.

*****

Thorin approached the field, realizing his idea of simply blending in with the arriving hobbit guests was going to be a tough one. There was a special gate for wedding guests and there would be no getting past Dori or Beorn without being noticed. He should have known Bilbo would have greeters. He split off from the loose trail of hobbits he had been following, darting down along the side of the field. There was fencing for many, many paces, but he reached a section in disrepair far down enough to not arouse suspicion if someone was to, say, climb over it. Thorin did just that, crouching and glancing back at the tent-grounds to re-assess his situation. He had unintentionally gone too far and needed to double back.

Finally reaching the row of service tents, Thorin let himself soak in the scale of the spectacle. Bilbo had tented in the enormous tree and the grounds surrounding it--no doubt, to save the party in case of rain--and had created a small village of vendors. He wished Balin had been here to see it, for the dwarf would have most assuredly been fascinated by the scale and planning of it all. Thorin mused that the entire economy of the Shire was likely sustained for a year or longer based off this one event. If the first breath was wonder, the second was a wistful sigh. Had things been different, this could have been for them. He looked around at flags flapping in the breeze, peaks on tent after tent, and the rising mammoth of the wedding pavilion itself--all physical testaments to Bilbo's love for Kili. Thorin shook his head. He never had a chance. 

A bell rang out and Gandalf's voice carried throughout the field: "Please be seated at the Party Tree. Lunch is over and a wedding shall soon begin!" 

Thorin barely missed being spotted by ducking into one tent as Ori exited another. Thorin figured he would wait a few minutes before sneaking around the pavilion along the tree line and searching for a spot to watch the proceedings undetected. He hated skulking about, but he hated missing this more, and hated being the object of pity most of all. Glancing around to see if he was alone in his tent, he saw stacks and stacks of dishes, some still wet and shiny. There were multiple barrels of water, one with fresh soap bubbles. Thorin couldn't help but chuckle. The dish tent. He couldn't get much less kingly than these surroundings, which was fitting because this sneaking around wasn't exactly befitting a king of dwarves, either.

Thorin heard a very familiar voice stop just outside the flap and froze, listening. 

*****

The Blessing typically took place in an atrium or a private location within the mountain where the dwarf would wed. Outdoor weddings weren't as common, and one such as Bilbo had thrown was less common still. Fili had considered doing it at Bag End, but Kili expressed a wish to do it as tradition dictated, immediately preceding the wedding itself. With Gandalf gathering everyone and quieting them down, the smaller service tents had been emptied and Fili walked them through, looking for one that seemed appropriate.

"Here, how about this one?" Fili said. "The cake tent?"  
"No, the cakers may yet be in and out of it," Kili said.  
"What about this one? The dish tent?" Bofur said.

*****

Inside the tent, Thorin panicked. He looked around, hoping to hide under a table, but the tables did not have covers. 

*****

"It doesn't seem like much of a good start to be blessed where the plates will be washed and dried," Kili groused.  
Fili made a noise of frustration. "Fine. You pick, then."  
"Might I make a suggestion?" Bilbo asked.

He urged them around the back side of the dish tent. It was at the end of its row and not in direct sight of the guests in the pavilion. Although behind it still provided the back of the tent as a view, facing away one could only see green and lovely rolling hills dotted with smials. 

Kili grinned. "I can live with this. Fee?"  
"I believe this will work," Fili said, nodding. "We shall do this here, then walk directly up the path on the other side to begin."

*****

" _Do what here_?" Thorin wondered, tiptoeing around little puddles to the other side of the tent, searching for a separation to peep through. Thorin managed to find a small place for spying and nearly staggered immediately backward again. Bilbo looked magnificent. Not only was he wearing the crown, but he also had on an assortment of jewelry Thorin selected for him especially prior to Bilbo's departure West. He found himself unexpectedly touched, so much so that his view through the narrow opening blurred momentarily. Blinking away wetness, his eye searched for Kili. Bofur blocked his view of him for the moment, annoyingly enough. Thorin was itching to see what Kili looked like appropriately dressed and braided according to his station for once.

*****

"Bo?" Fili said, gesturing toward Bilbo and Kili.  
"You are the Crown Prince as well as the older brother. You first," Bo insisted.

Fili stood in front of Bilbo, placing his hands on the hobbit's shoulders. "It has been a long road for you and Kili. It scarcely seems possible we are here for your wedding, though I am beyond gladdened by it. From the moment he confessed his feelings to me, I've hoped the two of you would find your way to this day. You've been the cause of many tears in my family, but you have a love for us all that is difficult to deny. You've been carrying Kili's heart for longer than you know. Be mindful not to bruise it, and it shall beat for you forever more. Take care of my brother, and I shall be honored to call you brother in turn."

Fili's blessing given, it was time for the traditional sealing kiss. Fili had never kissed Bilbo on the mouth before, not truly. Bilbo was not sure what to expect. With a confidence that neither Kili, Thorin, nor Bofur had the first time, Fili cupped Bilbo's face and claimed his kiss. He moved his mouth against Bilbo's, darting a tongue between Bilbo's lips. Bilbo's slipped forward to meet it, pulling a quiet moan from the back of Fili's throat.

Fili yearned to deepen the contact, to explore what it was about Bilbo that made the dwarrows closest to him half-mad with lust, but it was not his day for such explorations. He had already gotten a fair enough idea, enough to feel the tightness in his trousers. Tongue retreating, Fili closed the kiss with soft movements. 

*****

Once Fili started to speak, Thorin understood he was observing The Blessing. Propriety dictated Thorin should stop watching immediately and find somewhere else to hide, but his feet would not move.

Thorin watched Fili kiss Bilbo. Though The Blessing was supposed to be more substantial than a peck, the kiss between them seemed rather intimate for this particular occasion. He wondered how many times Fili had kissed Bilbo before. 

Fili moved to Kili, still standing in Thorin's line of sight. With Fili's new angle, Thorin could not see either of their faces.

*****

Fili cradled Kili's face and pressed their foreheads together. "Kee, your day has finally arrived. I suppose I can tell you now there were times I did not think this would happen for you. You knew, though. Even when you thought you lost your faith, something deep inside you held on to the hope that someday we'd be standing here, about to send you off to marry your hobbit. Be happy, baby brother. Make a life, build a home, and grow your love deeper than the roots of the mountain itself. As always, I will be close by your side."

A tear spilled from Kili's eye, gently swept away by Fili's thumb. He leaned in to seal his blessing, hesitating a moment before their lips touched. Kili kissed him back tenderly, sighing softly through his nose. Slightly, Fili pushed into their kiss. Kili responded with a light brush of the tip of his tongue across the seam of Fili's lips. With a sigh of his own, Fili mirrored Kili's movement, capping the moment with a final gentle press against Kili's lips. 

Once the pair parted, Bofur said, "Oi, you two ought to do that more often."

Bilbo nodded. He expected a little jealousy while his Kili was kissed twice over by dwarrows who were not him, but it did not bother him as when it had been Thorin seducing Kili in their own bedroom. In fact, he could use to see a little of Fili and Kili again. He wondered how Bofur would kiss Kili in the following moments. 

Bofur stood in front of Kili, grinning. Voice warm with affection, Bofur said, "Look at you, you beautiful thing! You've made it, laddie. You're finally going to get that wish. I've been rooting for you for a long time, you know. As Bilbo's Pair, it is my role to tell you to endeavor to bring him nothing but happiness, but I must say I wish it for you both. May the two of you have the purest joys and the deepest pleasures, all the years of your lives."

Kili shyly dipped his head in acknowledgement. Regardless of Bofur's own long-standing feelings for Bilbo, he had been one of Kili's earliest allies in his quest for Bilbo's heart. Tipping his head up to receive the sealing kiss, Kili felt the unfamiliar touch of lips that were not his lover's. Bofur's kiss carried the eager press of curiosity, but he was not as bold as Fili had been. It was pleasant, soft, and sweet...more chaste than Kili's own brother's was.

Bilbo looked on, smiling at Bofur's words. Despite his early fears, Bilbo's jealousy remained dormant. In fact, he was almost disappointed Bofur did not take this opportunity to kiss Kili more intently. It only seemed fair in light of what Bilbo anticipated for his own turn.

*****

Thorin still did not have a good look at Kili, though he could hear each dwarf's blessings clearly. He didn't know how to feel hearing everyone had been rooting for Kili--and, subsequently, against him--all along, though he realized it would be rude for them to say anything otherwise scant moments away from the wedding. As Bofur moved close to Bilbo, they shifted on their feet in such a way that Thorin could see both their faces...all too clearly.

*****

Bofur spoke gently, "Think I talked too much this morning, because I'm suddenly out of things to say. Oh, Bee. It has been my great honor to be on this journey with you...not simply the journey to the mountain, but the journey in which you found your heart and your happiness. I have seen you in love before but I've never seen anyone who makes you nearly light up the whole of the night the way Kili does. Enjoy today, for it was a long time in the making. Keep each other happy, because you each deserve it. Remember always how this day was meant to be--smiled upon by the Valar themselves as well as those who serve them--and remember I love you both."

Heart pounding, Bofur moved in for his kiss. He had been anticipating this for days, imagining in all manner of ways how it might go. Though Bofur knew Bilbo carried strong feelings for him, there had been the whole moratorium on overt tenders of affection. Despite many delightful fantasies, Bofur anticipated the possibility of Bilbo denying this opportunity to have an expressive clinch. Happily, he did not feel the slightest hesitation from Bilbo, discovering quite pleasantly that the hobbit was quick to relax in his arms, opening his mouth as to be explored by a lover. Though it was Bilbo's wedding day, Bofur did not shy away from kissing him just so. 

*****

Thorin nearly gave away his secret when Bilbo bloomed beneath Bofur's touch--with Kili and Fili standing _right there_! Bitter envy bubbled inside him as the kiss went on for far longer (and deeper) than was decent. He watched the two part at last, gutted further by the starry-eyed look they exchanged.

*****

Gazing into Bilbo's eyes as they separated only made Bofur's heart thud harder within his chest. Bilbo looked back at him adoringly, arousal evident in the darkening of his eyes and the flush of his cheeks. Having momentarily forgotten they were not alone (and the wedding...and his own name), Bofur's glance flicked to Fili. Any worry Bofur had of going too far seemed unfounded--Fili was watching the pair with curious eyes and a smirk.

"Speaking of things that should be done more often," Fili teased. "Seems Bo has him all warmed up for you, Kee."  
Kili fixed his eyes on Bilbo and purred, "I do love a warm hobbit, don't you know."

****

Thorin grumbled inwardly at how unconcerned Kili and Fili were about the kiss they just witnessed, especially since _he_ was horrified. His mind had wandered into the murk of figuring out why that was when Kili took Bilbo's hand and moved into view. He gasped audibly but no one seemed to have heard him. Kili looked amazing, beautiful, dignified... _royal_. Kili, braided and dressed in his princely finery, surpassed every one of his expectations, flooding Thorin with pride. He took a deep breath, blinking away the wetness momentarily clouding his vision again. A peek at Bilbo showed the hobbit was considerably entranced himself.

****

Kili swept Bilbo into his arms.  
"I've been waiting for this all night and most of the day," he said. "My intended, I share my blessings with you."  
Bilbo replied reverently, "I share my blessings with you as well."

As tradition dictated, Bilbo and Kili kissed, symbolically mixing the blessings each had gotten from their Pair. The tender press of their lips together became more heated, escalating until both of them momentarily forgot ceremony and simply gave way to the flood of their desire. The two consumed each other passionately, all lips, teeth, and tongues. 

****

Thorin watched Bilbo and Kili share the traditional kiss to mingle their blessings. They did not pause, though, and the kiss fast grew obscene. The last time Thorin had seen them like this, they were all naked together in Bilbo's bed. The memory made the scene before him more enticing than heartbreaking. He considered again how deeply his time in the Shire with them had affected his morality. Whereas Thorin nine months ago would have wanted to push them apart, Thorin peeping through the tent wanted to join them. The ache he had in his chest since he woke was still there, but it was joined by the swelling of his prick in his trousers.

****

Bilbo and Kili were both panting for air when they broke their kiss.

"Save a little for later, yeah?" Bofur joked.  
"We have to make sure the blessings stick," Kili explained impishly. "Maker forbid if we weren't thorough!"  
Fili chuckled. "Well, it is a good thing my clothing drapes, because all this kissing has made me hard."  
"Aye, me as well," Bofur agreed.  
"Thank the Valar for long tunics and jackets," Bilbo declared with a flirtatious grin. Sighing happily, he looked into Kili's eyes. "Are you ready?"  
Kissing Bilbo's forehead gently, Kili replied, "I've been ready for ages." 

****

Bilbo beamed when he saw Gandalf waiting for them, smiling widely himself. The pavilion's tent sides were still rolled high with no sign of rain, giving Bilbo a good look at the guests as they waited in their seats just ahead. He stood up on his toes, head weaving as he took in the sight. Very nearly two hundred of his friends, relations, and neighbors were sitting inside the great expanse, talking amongst themselves. Bilbo knew it would be this way, of course--he had planned it, after all--but to see them all there was quite a different matter. He noticed Kili looking over the heads, similarly searching.

"Do you see your Mam?" Bilbo asked.  
"Not yet, I--oh!" Kili exclaimed, pointing. "There she is, up there with Dwalin, Bifur, Nori, and the others."  
"And...Thorin?" Bilbo asked anxiously. 

Kili turned to look at Bilbo, slowly shaking his head. The comforting, sad smile Kili wore spoke volumes. 

"H-he's not coming, is he?" Bilbo asked, disappointed.  
Kili seized his hands. "He wanted to tell you himself, but he knew you'd spend your energy trying to talk him out of it."  
Chuckling weakly, Bilbo said, "He was right, of course."

At the back of his eyes, Bilbo felt the telltale warmth that typically preceded tears. Although he could not blame Thorin for not wanting to watch him marry someone else, the depth of his disappointment came close to overwhelming him. As bizarre as the thought would sound were he to speak it aloud, it seemed somehow wrong to do this without him. He looked around at Fili, Bofur, Kili, and Gandalf, all of whom were glancing back at him with varying degrees of kindness, pity, and understanding. 

Bilbo sighed, "I suppose I would do the same in his place, but I cannot help but miss him."  
Fili squeezed Bilbo's shoulder. "Us, too."  
"He just couldn't figure out how to be here without making our happy day sad, Bee," Kili soothed.  
Shaking away the tears before they fell, Bilbo exhaled sharply. "Well, there's nothing for it. The day must go on, regardless. I'm getting married, in case you didn't know."  
Gandalf grinned. "Indeed. Shall we begin?"

Bilbo and Kili nodded and, with Fili and Bofur, followed Gandalf into the pavilion. 

****

The Blessing concluded, Thorin heard the soft rumple of footsteps on grass fade as the quartet walked away. He peeked out the flap of the dish tent to ascertain if it was safe to emerge. Not seeing anyone, he crept down the walkway toward the great gathering, ducking partially into another tent when Bilbo and Kili came into view. He witnessed Gandalf meeting them at the entry as the group prepared to walk in together to start the ceremony.

Scrubbing a hand over his face, Thorin leaned against a tent pole and sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your patience! You are all delightful and I love you. Comments give me life :D


	36. The Wedding:  All Of Me Loves All Of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The ceremony.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready? Let's go!

Bilbo, Kili, Fili, Bofur, and Gandalf walked the pathway around the guests sitting at their tables, leading to the base of the Party Tree. Up towards the tree and off to the guests' right, a lavishly decorated table sat where the wedding party would eat their dinner and raise their toasts later that evening. For the time being, the five of them climbed a short set of stairs to a temporary platform erected in front of the tree trunk, festooned in the manner of the lead table. Gandalf faced the crowd in the middle of the platform, a small podium to his back and an unlit candle to his side. Fili and Bofur paused off to the left. Kili and Bilbo stopped in the center, in front of Gandalf, and turned to their guests to bow in greeting. A few of the guests responded with light applause. Wordlessly, Gandalf quieted the room in preparation to begin. Kili and Bilbo faced each other, allowing Gandalf to address them from one side and the crowd to see them from the other.

With gentle authority, Gandalf spoke. 

"A year ago April, I disturbed a hobbit's afternoon pipe and got a door in my face for my efforts. Later that evening, I interrupted his dinner with a company of dwarves and a dangerous offer of adventure and intrigue. I knew very well our quest would change Bilbo Baggins's life if he could summon the courage to step beyond his door. However, I never anticipated we would be here now, readying to marry him to one of the very dwarrows who caused him fits and helped to empty his pantry."

Members of the crowd chuckled while others whispered about the indignities of being disturbed at both pipe and meal.

"Some of you will be glad to know Bilbo and Kili have requested we keep this brief. I daresay such a request illustrates how well each of them know their people," Gandalf smirked. "Nevertheless, I would like to remind you all, regardless of the grand party they have arranged for you to enjoy, this is their day. Some of you were on their travels with them and know the dangers and trials they suffered in order to be standing here. Many of you have only heard the tales, and perhaps a few of you do not believe they are even true. I wish to set the rumors to rest, once and for all: Bilbo and Kili fought their way from Bree to the Misty Mountains to Erebor, side by side, overcoming many personal obstacles besides in order to reach this day. Make no mistake, both blood and tears were shed for this union to take place."

A rumble of murmurs went through the assemblage, some of astonishment, some of agreement. A smattering of hobbits clapped and a couple dwarrows whooped in spirited solidarity.

Bilbo smiled at Kili while listening to Gandalf's praise. Kili returned his smile adoringly and Bilbo was struck, as always, by his comeliness. 

_"But I would, you know. Marry you."_

The memory gave Bilbo a lovely flutter. 

Gandalf continued with his speech. "Bilbo and Kili are delighted that each and every one of you came to share in their joy. We thank you for your care, for your support-"  
"-And our gifts!" one of Bilbo's rowdier relations shouted from the back, causing a ripple of laughter to spread throughout the pavilion.  
"Yes, yes, doubtless the gifts, too," Gandalf acknowledged uncomfortably, wishing Bilbo had waited to serve beer until at least dinner. "However, through mortality, distance, or circumstance, there are those who could not be physically here as you are to share their happiness."  
Gandalf turned to the podium to get a match to light the candle.  
Reverently, he said, "Kili wishes to honor his father, Nöli, a noble dwarf parted too soon from his family through battle but carried in their hearts all the days of their lives." 

Fili felt his throat tighten at the mention of their father. He hadn't realized Kili had asked for this acknowledgement, though it seemed an obvious inclusion once he had given it some thought. His gaze sought his mother. She clutched Dwalin's hand and dabbed at her eyes. It was too much for Fili to see her dissolve so, and he had to wipe a tear of his own. Bofur squeezed his shoulder comfortingly.

"Likewise, Bilbo wishes to honor his beloved parents, Belladonna and Bungo, who regrettably did not live to see their pride and joy marry in person. As a personal aside, I know Bella would have loved to have been here, to see this lovely day you've planned, and to meet your Kili. Truly, she would have been crazy about him, just as she always adored you. She worried you would live a solitary life after she and Bungo were gone, though she never wished that fate for you. With this marriage, her fears are dismissed at last."

Gandalf's voice wavered a little as he spoke and Bilbo had tears on his face to match Kili's. Quite so, most of the guests were affected by the short memorial. 

*****

Thorin leaned against the tree behind which he hid, in the copse that grew behind the Party Tree itself. Because the weather was fair, the tent sides remained rolled and bound, providing him a line of sight to the proceedings--one that would have been less limited had he not been hiding. He was careful to keep his presence to himself, though realistically he knew no one was looking at him with the wedding going on. Despite this, he heard everything clearly.

The mention of Nöli touched Thorin unexpectedly. He strained but could not see Dís past the platform, though he already knew she must be weeping. Indeed, he was on the verge himself. The mention of Bilbo's parents only served to push him closer to the edge, particularly when he could see Bilbo struggling not to sob outright as Gandalf fondly spoke of his mother.

*****

"There are also those who yet draw breath who could not be here due to circumstance," added Gandalf. "Bilbo and Kili would like to take a moment to honor their dear friends, Elrond and Estel of Rivendell, as well as their battle brothers still in Erebor: Bombur, Balin, and Gloín. We light-"  
"And Thorin," Bilbo interrupted, voice raspy with emotion.  
Gandalf leaned in, brow furrowed as he had been speaking and was not sure he heard rightly. "Pardon?"  
Kili squeezed Bilbo's hand. "Thorin," he confirmed for the wizard.  
Gandalf nodded solemnly, understanding. "And Thorin, King of Erebor, quite dear to Kili and Bilbo. For friends and family, both named and unnamed, we light this candle as a symbol not only of their presence, but also of the couple's eternal respect and love. Were they here, the occasion would be brighter indeed."

*****

Still sensitive from the mention of her husband, Dís reeled at Bilbo calling out Thorin's name. Didn't Bilbo understand Thorin would be here if only he could? If Thorin did not love him so much? Didn't he understand Thorin had planned to be the one marrying him, not Kili? Oh, but Kili! If Thorin had his way, her son's heart would be in tatters. Thorin may have been closed off for decades, only ever letting in the hobbit, but Kili had always been tender and vulnerable. Had Kili not triumphed, this rejection would have surely killed his spirit.

Dís intended to hold onto her anger at the hobbit, but a brief glance at his face made it truly plain Bilbo loved Thorin, too. He missed him in some way, deeply enough to publicly call out Thorin's omission and insist he be acknowledged amongst the names of their absent loved ones. Kili reiterated this, showing he found no pain in Bilbo's devotion. She did not know if she was horrified at Bilbo's audacity or touched by the tenderness. Although she wished in part Thorin had been there to see this moment, she also hoped feverishly no one would would breathe a word of it. It would either thrill him or ruin him...perhaps both at the same time.

*****

Hands against the tree trunk, Thorin rested his face on them as he cried.

*****

"Bilbo has some things he would like to say to Kili, witnessed by all present, before they make their formal commitment," Gandalf said.  
Bilbo glanced sideways at the crowd and cleared this throat nervously. "Yes. Yes, well...ah," he stammered.

Looking up into Kili's eyes, Bilbo's anxiety faded. He stepped closer, smoothing his hands up Kili's arms and cradling his shoulders. Kili sighed blissfully and rested his hands on Bilbo's waist, bringing him further comfort. A couple breaths later, it was as though Kili was the only other person in the world. 

"What do I say to you, today of all days, that I have not told you already?" asked Bilbo. "I could talk about what we went through to be here, but you were there, living it by my side. I suppose that is the thing: the single reason I could tolerate it at all was because you _were_ by my side. Sleeping in the rain, trying to save me from trolls, running from orcs, dancing in Lake Town, offering to take my place to face a dragon, following when I was banished, running back into battle again, baking at Beorn's, walking the paths of Rivendell, traveling back to my home--to _our_ home--in the Shire, giggling, crying, yelling, loving...all along the way, you were there, making the laughter louder and the hardships that much more bearable. I do not think I could have done it without the devotion of your friendship and, later, your amazing love, nor would I have wanted to. I know I have frustrated you to no end--I'm sure that will continue, by the way--and I understand I've made some monumental missteps, but through it all, you've managed to remain by me. If you could see your way to staying with me, I cannot promise perfection. Yavanna knows, I'll still do and say foolish things. However, if you would stay by my side, my sweet, sweet Kili, I promise to love you until my very end."

Bilbo's voice shook and he subconsciously drew Kili closer as his emotion peaked. When he finished, he drew a wet breath through his nose and huffed it out through his mouth, punctuating his thoughts. Kili cracked a crooked smile, the rise of his cheek pushing a tear from his eye. He rolled in his lips and hummed a little giggle of joy. 

*****

Many of the hobbits, particularly Lobelia, were surprised to hear Bilbo speak so emotionally. Rather, quite a few of his relations came to regard what sort of odd spectacle it would be to see Bilbo Baggins (of all people) get married. They simply could not picture him capable of the more tender feelings a hobbit might experience. Several of them were touched to hear Bilbo's words to Kili...and more than a couple were shamed by their preconceptions. 

*****

Thorin's crying slowed as he listened raptly to Bilbo's promise to Kili. Hadn't he, too, been there for many of the events Bilbo was recounting? Kili went in to save Bilbo from the trolls, true, but it was Thorin who kept him from being ripped to pieces. The mention of Lake Town especially pained him, because Lake Town was _his_. It was Thorin who made love to Bilbo in Lake Town and was betrothed to him there, yet Bilbo gave his memory of the place to Kili. As Bilbo went on, Thorin remembered with shame the debacle of (not) planning Bilbo's interactions with the dragon and those earliest vestiges of gold sickness. When Bilbo brought up his banishment, Thorin nearly stumbled to kneeling in the dirt. Kili _had_ been by Bilbo's side, even as Thorin himself had failed him. He listened to the rest, filled with regret and wishing uselessly Bilbo had been speaking such a precious promise to him. Over the course of Bilbo's speech, Thorin's weeping halted altogether, but only because he felt like the very air had been stolen from his lungs.

*****

"Likewise, Kili has some things he would like to say to Bilbo, witnessed by all present, before they make their formal commitment," Gandalf repeated for Kili's turn.

Kili stepped closer to Bilbo, closer still than Bilbo had been to him. Twining their hands together, he brought them to rest between them at the height of his chest. Kili closed his eyes and a memory flashed behind them.

 _"But I truly want to know. What do you think...really?"  
"I think you are...beautiful."_

Gazing at Bilbo, Kili said, "You know the story of how I fell in love with the Shire at first sight, and the hobbit who inhabited Bag End shortly thereafter. You know I spent half the journey quietly pining for you, trying to identify the seizing in my chest every time you would look my way. You know when I decided I was going to try to court you, although those plans did not quite turn out the way I had imagined. All my fantasies crystallized the first time you kissed me and I knew then, more certain that I had ever been about anything in my memory, that I wanted to stand like this and pledge my heart, mind, and body to you for the rest of my life. We could have done this in Lake Town, in Erebor, on a battlefield, or in Rivendell soaking wet in the middle of the waterfall for all it mattered, but I had always hoped it could be here in the Shire. Fulfilling a dear wish, as seems to be your habit, you made it happen better than my best imagining. Meeting you changed my life in ways I've still not been able to express to you. For the first time, someone other than Mam or Fee saw me--truly _saw_ me--as special, as worthy, as beautiful. Were that not miracle enough, it happened to be the most remarkable someone I've known. I have had the good fortune to call you friend, the thrill of calling you lover, and now, somehow, some way, I will be granted the unfathomable honor of calling you husband."

Kili paused to kiss each set of BIlbo's knuckles. With eyes brimming afresh with tears, he continued in carefully practiced Sindarin. 

" _You were my dream, and once I hoped never to wake from the bliss of you. Now that you have come true for my waking eyes, I promise to spend the rest of my life attempting to deserve this blessing._ "

The promise in Sindarin moved Bilbo as much as it surprised him. Eyes spilling, he found himself losing the battle against his emotions once and for all. He knew Kili put great effort into learning how to speak the lovely sentiment for him in a language he knew Bilbo greatly admired. It was a beautiful gesture and Bilbo knew he would be begging for an encore on many nights to follow. 

*****

Dís nearly swooned when Kili spoke his promise, but not for the reason some of the hobbit lasses and lads were swooning and sighing, not because Kili was a stunning dwarf with a mellifluous language rolling from his tongue. Her view of it was not nearly so dreamy. It was unheard of, her own royal, dwarven son speaking _elvish_ at such a widely attended event! She leaned on Dwalin for support, allowing him to fan her while she recovered from the shock. 

*****

Thorin refrained from kicking the tree, but only because it would alert the others to his presence. He knew damn well Kili's words in Sindarin would turn Bilbo to a quivering puddle of goo, even had he merely been ordering breakfast. For them to be the words of love he suspected, well...he supposed Bilbo was lost already. It wasn't as though he could lose Bilbo any _more_ , though with every moment that passed, it seemed to be happening anyway.

Thorin briefly turned his attention to Bofur, who was standing calmly with an arm resting around Fili's shoulders. Bofur turned his head to steal a glance at Fili, a pleased smile on his face. How could Bofur stand by so serenely when he loved Bilbo as dearly as Thorin knew he did? Thorin was perplexed. 

*****

"In light of your promises, I will ask each of you for your formal commitment," Gandalf said. "Prince Kili of Erebor, Bilbo Baggins is here this day to ask you to share his life as his friend, lover, confidante, and mate. Do you accept his promise and consent to this commitment?"  
Still clutching Bilbo's hands, Kili looked deeply into his eyes. "I accept and consent."  
Gandalf turned his head to address Bilbo, though the hobbit's gaze was for Kili alone. "Bilbo Baggins, Prince Kili of Erebor is here this day to ask you to share his life as his friend, lover, confidante, and mate. Do you accept his promise and consent to this commitment?"  
A flash of Thorin came to Bilbo's mind. Although Bilbo could almost see him standing in full kingly raiment in Kili's place, Bilbo still answered, "I accept and consent."

Said Gandalf, "Before I present you to your guests, there is one more matter to address. Thain Isumbras Took has approved the petition for Prince Kili to also be known as Kili Baggins, citizen of the Shire. Paperwork to that effect has been filed in Michel Delving bearing this date."

*****

A stir rolled through the crowd. It had been expected by a great number of the hobbits, as Kili had been using the name informally already, but being official in this manner made Kili's new friends and neighbors more comfortable. Hobbits liked things to be laid out properly. Still, it was a surprise to some of the others and they exploded in whispers and questions for the persons sitting next to them. Dís knew, of course, and though it didn't thrill her, Kili's reasoning had appealed to her logical side. She glanced up at her son, grinning as though he might burst, and smiled herself.

*****

Holding out his hands to quiet the guests, Gandalf said, "There is more."

He reached behind to the podium and retrieved a document. 

"The Shire is lovely, but its policies and documents are largely its own and do not translate to regions beyond its borders. Your marriage, though not common, shall be fully recognized by _all_ peoples and regions of Middle Earth. To further this, I have an official decree stating Bilbo Baggins will heretofore also be known as Prince Bilbo of Erebor. He shall receive citizenship of Erebor and be required the honor of all dwarf kingdoms as Kili enjoys due to his title. Bilbo has also been declared a full heir to Erebor and stands fourth in line to the throne, as dictated by current bloodline."

*****

Out in the audience, Dís fainted dead away.

*****

"What?" Bilbo interrupted Gandalf. "Surely...no, this can't--how is that even possible?"

Gandalf held up the document he had taken from the podium. "King Thorin of Erebor approved it this morning. This decree was witnessed by Crown Prince Fili of Erebor, and signed and stamped by both of them. Copies will be carried to Ered Luin, Rivendell, the land formerly known as the Greenwood, and the new Dale. The original goes back to Erebor, and one copy shall remain in Michel Delving, should anyone local wish to attempt to dispute such a claim."

Bilbo whirled around to face Fili. "You knew? You knew about this?"  
"So that is where you went this morning," Kili said to Fili.  
Fili smiled and subtly shrugged. Bofur beamed proudly.

Bilbo snatched the decree from Gandalf's hands, lips moving as he read the words for himself. He looked up, stunned.

****

Thorin had been looking forward to the announcement of Bilbo's Ereborian citizenship as well as his new status as formal heir. He had planned it with Fili a few days prior, calling Fili to his room that morning to finalize and turn it over to Gandalf on his behalf, safely away from prying eyes that would ruin the surprise. It was a gift to Bilbo and Kili both for Bilbo to be fully recognized and sanctioned by the nation of Erebor. The part where Bilbo was named heir was Thorin's own way of comforting himself, of using his position as king to secure a solid future for the hobbit should the worst ever happen, and to guarantee Bilbo as much respect as was in Thorin's position to command. He knew Dís would have something to say about it, likewise Balin, but he did not care. It was as near as he was ever going to get to Bilbo being named Prince Consort, and he clung to it like a lifeline.

****

Assessing the situation, Gandalf acted quickly, lest Bilbo have a personal crisis in front of half the Shire.

Placing a firm hand on Bilbo's shoulder, he said, "You accepted Kili's promise, did you not? Accepted and consented to share his life?"  
"Well, yes, of course-" Bilbo agreed.  
"This is part of it. You knew he was a prince. Do you take your promise back?"  
"No! Gods-I- _no_!" Bilbo blustered.  
"Then these are the things that come along with pledging to mingle your life with his," Gandalf said matter-of-factly. Much quieter, he said, "You must pull yourself together, Bilbo Baggins."  
Nodding quickly, Bilbo turned to Kili. The dwarf looked sheepish.  
"Bilbo, I'm sorry," Kili said, embarrassed, as though he thought Bilbo was ashamed of being given such a grand gift. That, more than anything, jolted Bilbo into calm.  
"Oh, dear heart, do not apologize. It is a magnificent honor. I simply was not prepared for such a thing and I'm not quite so sure I deserve it."  
Kili's shoulders relaxed and he smiled. "You do deserve it. I was not part of the planning, but it seems only fitting for you to be named so and I want it for you. For a moment, I thought perhaps you didn't want it for yourself."  
"I do! I shall be so proud to wear your title, I swear it," Bilbo insisted.  
Trouble averted, Gandalf said, "I think now would be as good a time as any to seal your vows with your first kiss as marrieds. By your leave." He dipped in a shallow bow. 

Grinning and cupping Bilbo at his nape, Kili said, "Well, this is it."  
Bilbo curled an arm around Kili's waist, grinning as well. "I suppose so." 

Kili pulled Bilbo's lips to his, kissing him sweetly. Bilbo moved his mouth against Kili's, softly and intently. Parting after a few moments, they stared into each other's eyes. Kili bore an expression of joy and astonishment, as though he could not believe this could possibly be happening. Surging suddenly forward again, Kili lifted Bilbo vertically full off the ground, spinning him around, and allowing Bilbo to slide down his body just enough to capture his lips again. This kiss was deeper and far more passionate. A rousing cheer came up from the crowd, many of the guests standing to applaud the couple. Several mothers covered their fauntling's eyes as the kiss went on, all the while sighing for it themselves. Much later, Bilbo would admit it was not a particularly proper kiss for a family occasion, but he never apologized for it. 

Returning Bilbo at last to the ground, Kili leaned back to gaze upon his new husband, delirious with hormones and happiness. He could swear he felt their bond thrumming joyfully...or perhaps it was just his blood feverishly pulsing because he was married to Bilbo at last. He silently thanked every entity to whom he had ever prayed to assist in making this wish come true. 

Gandalf beamed at the couple, thinking of at least two dwarrows who now owed him payment on a bet. 

One after the other, he kissed Kili and Bilbo on the tops of their heads. "Go forth, my dear friends, and enjoy this night as we all celebrate your union and your love. I wish you health and happiness for all the days to come."

Addressing the crowd, he formally intoned, "I present to you, Kili and Bilbo Baggins of the Shire, as well as Prince Kili and Prince Bilbo of Erebor."

An ovation rolled through the pavilion again as Bilbo, Kili, Fili, Bofur, and Gandalf descended the platform. Fili and Bofur got their first hugs from the married couple before the dwarrows, Beorn, and the elves swooped in for theirs. One of the bands played while the rest of the hobbits milled around, waiting either to speak to the couple or for food service to start up again. 

****

Thorin, driven to his knees, leaned against the tree bark and wept. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've agonized over this chapter. I truly hope it was worth the 135 chapter wait. Next up: the party!
> 
> (you pervs will have to wait a couple chapters for the wedding night :P )


	37. The Wedding:  Before Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snippets of what happens between the ceremony and dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm borrowing some chunks of Tolkien's text, particularly when Bilbo is making note of his relations and again when Gandalf gets out the fireworks.

Bilbo and Kili were immediately surrounded by family and friends at the base of the platform, all of whom crushed in first ahead of the hobbits to claim their hugs and share happy thoughts. Fili and Bofur demanded the first hugs, releasing Kili and Bilbo to Dís next. She wore a tight smile and was a bit paler than usual, though she hugged Kili close all the same.

"I swear, Mam, I'm so ecstatic right now," Kili gushed in her ear.  
Dís patted him on the back, "I'm happy that you're happy."

After Kili, she turned to Bilbo. The kind thoughts she had managed to cobble together for Bilbo leading up to and during the wedding were sharply suspended by Thorin's surprise proclamation. Perhaps her brother was half-mad with either love or grief, but _she_ still had _her_ wits. The last thing any of them needed was Bilbo with some misguided sense of entitlement and power, particularly when it came to Erebor. A suspicious corner of her mind wondered if he hadn't somehow planned something like this all along.

Sensing something amiss, Bilbo did not advance with a hug, but rather held out his hands in a gesture of affection that would still allow Dís to keep her distance. For show, she took his hands loosely, though she let them go nearly as fast.

"It doesn't mean anything, you know," Dís said to Bilbo. "This being in line for the throne business."

Fili opened his mouth to protest, not only because this was inappropriate for Kili's wedding day, but also because he knew it _did_ mean something. It was real, unprecedented, amazing, and it especially meant something to Thorin. However, Bilbo smoothly handled it before Fili could speak his mind.

"Do not think I have delusions of greatness in light of that pronouncement," Bilbo assured her gently. "I understand it was a mere gesture of good will, Princess, and more than I deserve, all things considered. Such things will never come to pass, anyway, because I'm afraid my dwarven family will far outlive me." His eyes lost focus, thinking suddenly of sad things.  
"Oh, Mother! Now you've done it," Kili fretted. "He is already quite sensitive about his life span as it is."  
Kili did not add aloud how it tore him in tiny pieces to think about it, himself.  
"Mam, you promised to be kind today!" Fili admonished.

Dís looked around at the ring of Bilbo's friends from his travels who surrounded them, waiting their turn. The ones who overheard glared at her disapprovingly. Unbelievably, Bilbo rescued her.

"Calm down, you two. I'm perfectly fine and, although today would not be my favorite day to discuss my mortality, Dís was likely more shocked than I was to find out Thorin had decided to announce such a thing so publicly and without any warning. As sister to its king, she has every right to have a care for Erebor. It was not the sort of thing that should be sprung upon the Princess Under The Mountain like it was. I realize more than anyone that it was a rare and lovely gift on Thorin's part, but ultimately it was a gesture only."

The tense moment passed and Kili and Bilbo continued being inundated by friends requiring their embraces. Although she received a couple more cold looks, no one dared confront Dís for potentially spoiling Bilbo and Kili's day. Dozens of hobbits fell in line behind the dwarrows, Beorn, and the elves, all wanting to give congratulations. Once the wave of well-wishers subsided (with some hundred-odd hugs given and received), it was well time for tea. Bilbo's stomach fussed, because they did not have the wonderful lunch their guests were provided.

"Are you hungry?" Bilbo asked his companions. Kili, Bofur, and Fili all responded enthusiastically in the affirmative.

Bilbo waved Chadham over and whispered in his ear. The young hobbit ran off toward the temporary kitchen.

"Let's have a drink and a seat and see what comes for tea," Bilbo said.

Fili, Bofur, Kili, and Bilbo made themselves comfortable at the lead table. While the other guests went through the line for their tea-time dainties, four of the cooks arrived with trays for each member of the wedding party.

"Oh! What's this?" Kili asked.  
"This was what everyone had for lunch. We're just having ours a bit late, is all," Bilbo explained.  
Kili salivated at the spread before him, which included steaming slices of roast chicken and his favorite gravied-and-buttered potatoes. He smirked. "Had I known I was missing this, perhaps I would have started the wedding later!"  
Bilbo poked his tongue out at Kili.  
"Now, do not spoil your dinner, because it will be one of our best," one of the cooks cautioned.  
"No worry there!" Bofur assured her. "I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say everyone at this table has quite a capacity for fine Shire food!"

Halfway through his plate, Bilbo's heart grew a little lighter and some of his anxiousness faded away. He had been troubled by Thorin's absence from the moment he found out, but perhaps an empty stomach and a light head had attributed to his inability to let it go.

 

*****

Bofur and Fili talked quietly between themselves.

"What do think of all this, Fee? Would you want something like this for our Shire wedding?" Bo asked.  
Fili grinned. "Maybe, if Bee plans it for me. I knew he had been busy but I had no idea it was going to be so _grand_."  
"Aye, I'm not sure I've seen an equal to this. He has a tent over this enormous tree, for Mahal's sake! Arrangements such as these had to take a veritable army of hobbits."  
"And no small amount of gold," Fili added.  
Bofur shrugged. "It is not as though we don't have enough to go 'round."  
"I love this party, and I think Kee probably needed this gigantic, physical display of Bee's affection as much as Bee needed to do it for him, but honestly, I think I would be happiest marrying you in Bee's garden. We'll have to endure a giant affair when we choose to announce it to Erebor, anyhow. For here, I think it would be nicer to be just you, me, Kee, Bee, and maybe a couple others. We'll have ourselves a lovely meal afterwards."  
"Don't forget the wine for our wedding night," Bofur added lasciviously.  
Fili wound one of Bofur's pigtails around his hand playfully. "Do you honestly think we'll still have it by then?" he flirted.  
"Have I mentioned lately how crazy for you I am?" purred Bofur.  
Using Bofur's hair, Fili tugged him into a kiss.

 

*****

Bilbo snatched a cake off a passing tea tray. He munched it while watching the fauntlings run around in the adjacent field trying to one-up each other with noisemakers, enjoying their new toys, and playing games. Nori was involved in a spirited game of tag with several of the children, although from Bilbo's vantage point, it seemed Nori only pretended to run, then was somehow mysteriously unable to catch any of them to tag them back. The child he eventually did touch, he did not bother tagging, opting instead to lift him off the ground and deposit him on his shoulders for a carry. Soon, tag was forgotten and Nori was scampering about with one child after another hitching a ride on his shoulders or back. Ori arrived to rescue him, only to be similarly beset. The two dwarrows were laughing and did not seem in any way distraught by this turn of events. The children themselves were delighted, and not a single parent looked at the group with a sour face that Bilbo could see from his spot. Bilbo's heart swelled as he watched them frolic.

 

*****

With a full stomach and some time to wander about and chat, Bilbo looped an arm through Kili's as the couple made rounds, thanking their guests for attending. Not having been able to assess things prior to the ceremony, Bilbo could now take note of who made the effort to appear. There were many Bagginses and Boffins, and also many Tooks and Brandybucks; there were various Grubbs (relations of Bilbo Baggins' grandmother), and various Chubbs (connections of his Took grandfather); and a selection of Burr-owses, Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Brockhouses, Goodbodies, Hornblowers and Proudfoots. Some of these were only very distantly connected with Bilbo, and some of them had hardly ever been in Hobbiton before, as they lived in remote corners of the Shire. Lobelia and Otho were present, Lobelia wearing her grand necklace and looking very proud of herself indeed. Bilbo had half a mind to introduce her especially to Princess Dís just for the sport of it. 

Watching how easily Kili had even the newest acquaintances captivated made Bilbo beam with pride. He glanced over toward the tree, noticing the wedding platform had been dismantled. The flash of a lewd memory gave Bilbo a smile of a different sort. After a few moments with Rorimac Took and a hearty encouragement from him to call some night soon for a fine, family meal, Bilbo pulled Kili aside.

Bilbo nudged Kili down to speak quietly in his ear. "Do you see, just over there, behind where the platform was?"  
Kili looked that direction. "Yes."  
"That's where I had you mewling while I finished inside your arse," Bilbo whispered.  
Kili closed his eyes and moaned. "Gods, _Bee_!"  
Chuckling, Bilbo said, "Yes, it did sound a little like that."  
Kili grabbed and kissed him hungrily.

Oin walked by with the beers he had gotten for himself and Dori. "Starting the wedding night a little early, aren't you lads?" he joked. "We've not so much as had dinner, yet!"

Kili and Bilbo burst into giggles.

 

*****

Tear-weary, Thorin sat against the tree for a long while and eventually dozed off. The smell of food prodded him awake and his stomach growled in reminder of its neglect. He peered around, wondering if he could sneak past anyone to grab a roll or something else to quiet it, though it didn't look possible. He reminded himself he had been in battle and under siege, and a few hours of missing food was not going to be the end of him.

His eyes sought out the tops of Bilbo's and Kili's heads, walking together through the crowd. With so many folk milling about (and the couple no longer on a platform), Thorin climbed onto a low-hanging branch to improve his view. Kili and Bilbo were too far out for him to see in sharp detail, but they seemed merry. They frequently stopped and talked to their guests and Thorin idly wondered who some of the hobbits were. Were they Bilbo's relations? Which ones? He imagined how it might go if it were him on Bilbo's arm instead of Kili.

_"Oh, and Thorin, this is my cousin from the story about the jam. Growing into quite a lass, isn't she?"_  
 _"This is my cousin from Buckland. You remember the tales about Brandybuck Hall, don't you?"_  
 _"My dear family, this is my Thorin, my husband. Thank you, I agree, he is quite handsome."_

Thorin wondered if he yet had enough of this heartache. Maybe it was wiser to leave now, head back to the Green Dragon for some food, and find some other way to occupy his time. Perhaps, but he did not go. Instead, his eyes swept the crowd. He easily found Dís and Ori together, Fili chatting with Isumbras, and Bofur with a hobbit Thorin did not know. Thorin could not be sure, but it seemed for a moment as though Bofur was looking in his direction. Hastily, he dropped to the ground to hide himself once again.

 

*****

"With all respect, Princess," Dís heard someone say. Turning around, she saw Ori fidgeting next to her.

"With all respect," he tried again, "It was rude what you said to Bilbo about Thorin naming him heir."  
Dís raised an eyebrow. "Was it, indeed?"  
"I can see where you'd be angry with Bilbo for some of what has...uh, transpired between him, Thorin, and Kili. If someone was to upset my brothers, I would not like that person very much myself, but there are things you do not know. I realize you would seek to protect the legacy of Erebor from outsiders, particularly given how your own sons and brother bled for it, but Bilbo bled for it, too. He bled for it and it wasn't even his cause. You were safely in Ered Luin while Bilbo jumped in front of orcs, faced off with a dragon, and ran into battle for your very people. I grant you, perhaps the romantic web was a bit tangled, but Thorin has forgiven him and Kili has married him. How much longer will you insist on alienating your family for a grudge they do not even hold?"  
"Alienating them? I'm only wishing to protect them!" she protested.  
Ori stopped fidgeting as he grew braver. "They love Bilbo: Kili enough to tie his life to his and Thorin enough to grant him security and honor through all the lands Bilbo has ventured. I may be young, but I understand love and family. If my brothers insisted on being rude to or refusing to accept someone I loved, it would not undo my love. Rather, it would offend and embarrass me that they would be so judgmental. What you are doing is an insult to Thorin and Kili, really. Not accepting Bilbo means you are rejecting their choices--choices, again with respect, that weren't yours to make in the first place."  
Ori's words made sense, though Dís's pride made her loath to admit it.  
"What gives you the right to talk to me this way?" she demanded instead.  
Ori shrugged. "Possibly nothing, other than concern for the people I love. Your sons and Bilbo are my friends and battle brethren. Moreover, I'm a scribe and chronicler of events--it is my habit to observe things. I had hoped possibly to share my observations with you before you did damage that could not be undone. I realize you do not have to listen to a thing I say, but I shall sleep better tonight all the same for having tried."  
Ori turned to rejoin the party but paused for a look back. "I may not be a prince, but just like Bilbo, Thorin, Fili, and Kili, I fought for the mountain where you shall swan through the halls, wear your title, and hold your office. I hope you recall that before you question any of The Fourteen's rights to speak our minds in the future."

Ori nodded curtly in parting, leaving Dís behind in her quiet embarrassment.

 

*****

Bofur was keeping company with an older hobbit whose name he couldn't quite remember. She was sharing sweet and funny tales about a very young Bilbo. Grinning wide while she spoke, he glanced around for Fili or Kili to join the fun (and possibly get her name again for him without her being the wiser). As he searched, his grin faded. Just above the hobbits' heads, toward the Party Tree, he thought he saw a figure up on a branch in the small copse of trees that stood just behind. He blinked hard and looked closer, but saw nothing on the second look.

"Something wrong, dear?" Bofur's companion asked.  
Smile returning, he replied, "No, no, of course not. Pray, continue."

 

*****

The music continued and more barrels of beer were wheeled in for casual pre-dinner drinking. Bilbo and Kili had rather wisely agreed to save the cases of wine sent by Elrond for after dinner. It was much more potent than hobbits and dwarrows were used to.

Continuing to mingle, Kili noticed Bilbo periodically and quickly scanning the crowd. Bilbo's gaze never lingered, leaving Kili to assume Bilbo was not finding that which he sought. Finally, Kili asked, "Whom are you trying to find?"  
Bilbo lowered his voice. "I know it sounds mad, but I cannot shake the feeling Thorin may yet show up--if he is not already hiding somewhere. Perhaps the ceremony would have been too much for him, but I hope he would have realized by now we would rather be with him than without him. Surely he would not let this entire evening pass without..." he trailed off.  
"I know, my jewel, but he seemed rather certain when we spoke," Kili replied soothingly.  
"It simply seems wrong, you know? He should be here, enjoying himself, eating at the table with us, sharing dances, and meeting our kin. I can't bear to think of him at the inn all alone while everyone is having a party."  
Kili pulled Bilbo into a firm embrace. "I agree. I miss him and wish he was here, too."  
Bilbo's voice was muffled from being pressed into Kili's shoulder. "Maybe he is here in secret, even now. If not, surely he will come."  
Kili only hugged him tighter.

 

*****

A handful of hobbits danced to the band while they waited for the next round of food or entertainment, whichever one came first. Several more groused they could not possibly dance without a proper dinner to fuel their feet. Bifur heard someone say as much and chuckled to himself. Looking around, his glance landed on Isumbras, whose eyes were already on him. Bifur held his mug aloft in acknowledgement and was given a wink in return.

*****

Several of Bilbo's fauntling cousins managed to pull him away from Kili's side for story time, though he considered it far from a chore. Bilbo enjoyed telling tales anyway, but the possibility he might be making the world a larger place for a new generation of young ones gave him a great deal of satisfaction.

Kili watched him go affectionately, stealing many peeks as Bilbo animatedly told the children tales of their journey. It reminded Kili of Lake Town, flower crowns, and that first, sweet touch of Bilbo's lips upon his cheek. It was before their first proper kiss--the one that sealed Kili's fate so completely--but Kili treasured it almost as much.

"So, uh, we're are not staying in Bag End tonight," Fili said hesitantly.  
Tearing his glance from Bilbo, Kili replied, "Huh?"  
" _You_ will, I mean, of course, but Bo and I will leave you to it and sleep at the inn."  
Kili frowned. "You know that is not necessary."  
"Tonight is a special night for you."  
"I agree, but it is not our first night. It isn't even our first night with the wine."  
"But it is sacred, Kee," Fili argued. "You do not need the two of us creeping around while you consummate your union once and for all, and I have no doubt your affects on us would be doubly enticing when you are influenced by the wine. You do not need the distraction and we should avoid the temptation."  
"We would not have asked that of you."  
Fili squeezed Kili's shoulder. "We know, and that makes us want to do this for you all the more."  
"Well, someone else will have to tell Bee, because I can't take another sad look on his face tonight. It broke my heart explaining to him about Thorin."  
"I think Bo plans to have a similar conversation with him," Fili assured him. He sighed, "Oh, our Thorin. Prior to this morning, I would have feared he might have interrupted your ceremony."  
"What changed this morning?" Kili asked.  
"I'm not sure I can explain it, but when he was signing off on Bee's new title, he had an unusual air about him. Melancholy and resigned, but sort of proud, too. Something about it settled me inside."  
Kili looked around. "Bee thinks Thorin might yet be here, somewhere, and I might agree with him."  
Fili glanced around, too. "I do not think you are wrong, but who knows where he has stashed himself?"

 

*****

It was just ahead of dark and not quite dinner when Gandalf brought out the fireworks. He began with rockets like a flight of scintillating birds singing with sweet voices. He set off green trees with trunks of dark smoke: their leaves opened like a whole spring unfolding in a moment, and their shining branches dropped glowing flowers down upon the astonished hobbits, dwarrows, elves, and Beorn, disappearing with a sweet scent just before they touched their upturned faces. There were fountains of butterflies that flew glittering into the trees; there were pillars of colored fires that rose and turned into eagles, or sailing ships, or a phalanx of flying swans; there was a red thunderstorm and a shower of yellow rain; there was a forest of silver spears that sprang suddenly into the air with a yell like an embattled army, and came down again into the water with a hiss like a hundred hot snakes. Unbeknownst to the guests, Gandalf had shared with Bilbo an idea to have made a great dragon to swoop down upon them all, though he told him he eventually decided better of it. The memory of Smaug was still too new, particularly for the dwarrows.

"Though I do not second-guess your decision, it seems a pity because it sounds quite, quite grand," Bilbo said. "However, I do not need to provide Dís any more reasons to dislike me, and I doubt she would have thought the dragon in good taste, all things considered."  
Gandalf nodded solemnly.  
"Perhaps you may yet create that for some other day, far from now, when the edges of that story have lost their sting," Bilbo added.

 

*****

Thorin watched the fireworks with wonder, as he had never seen their like. A few of them landed in the trees and Thorin momentarily questioned the safety of his secrecy before calmer thoughts prevailed. He figured Gandalf's enchantments likely also extracted the danger from such delights--the wizard would not dare send something so near to the beloved Party Tree that might ignite it or the lands around it.

The display was breathtaking, to be sure. Thorin watched raptly, stealing a glance of Bilbo's face now and then, glowing most lovely in the light created by wonder after wonder. A flight of butterflies flew into the trees where Thorin hid, fading out one by one. A lone wisp of a butterfly endured past all its brothers, alighted gently on Thorin's hand, and slowly folded and unfolded its wings. Thorin cocked his head, gazing upon it in pure fascination. It dissolved gently, leaving Thorin to stare, enthralled, into the air where it disappeared.

 

*****

After the fireworks finished, the band played a fanfare. Bilbo shouted above the crowd, "That is the signal for dinner! Dinner, everyone!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, everyone! I love your observations--such great discussion happens in the comments!


	38. The Wedding:  After Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the band played on...until there was cake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still lifting and/or paraphrasing some party text from FOTR for this one.

Dinner was as delicious as it was varied, all according to Bilbo's plan. He had carefully thought it out to please hobbit, elf, dwarf, and skin-changer alike. He could tell the hobbits in particular were impressed and he was delighted. He was always a bit proud where food was concerned, anyway, but he knew--given its storied preamble--today was going to be a day of close assessment from his friends and neighbors. In the same line of thinking, Bilbo reasoned fine wedding fare would also reflect well on Kili as the other groom.

 

*****

The smells of the evening meal were a special sort of torture for Thorin, who had not eaten at all that day. His idea of this not being different than being in battle had evaporated once he made the distinction that, in battle, he was not tortured with the divine scent of hobbit delicacies wafting through the air. His hunger and his sadness weighed on him enough to consider now might be the time to return to the inn, however temporarily. He had been more careful about his spying after he was nearly spotted by Bofur, but he risked a solid look around. Taking in his situation, it dawned on Thorin that he would have a difficult time leaving from his hiding place until well after dark, and then likely only after the dancing started. Or, possibly better, he could wait until Bilbo and Kili left and depart with the hobbit guests that would inevitably follow. He did not fear discovery by any of his own in that case. He knew none of the dwarrows would leave a party early as long as the spirits were still flowing.

 

*****

After dinner, Bilbo wished to stand and give a speech. The hobbits knew it was inevitable, and although they might normally dread such, they were feeling especially tolerant in light of the dinner Bilbo had just fed them all. They were sipping at their favorite drinks, nibbling at their favorite dainties, and did not mind if Bilbo wanted to ramble on for a minute or three. Besides, shortly after the speech came the cake--three kinds, if the rumors held true. They were prepared to listen to anything, and to cheer at every full stop.

Bilbo pulled Kili with him and they made their way to the stage where the bands had been playing since lunch. The light of the lanterns fell on their beaming faces. With his jacket unbuttoned, Bilbo's golden buttons shone on his embroidered waistcoat. Indeed, his jewels and adornments were only rivaled by Kili's own diamonds, sapphires, and precious threads, twinkling like stars fallen to earth.

"My dear people," Bilbo began.

"Hear, hear, hear!" came the reply from the crowd.

Bilbo held out a palm to quiet them.

"My dear Bagginses and Boffins," he began again, "and my dear Tooks and Brandybucks, and Grubbs, and Chubbs, and Burrowses, and Hornblowers, and Bolgers, Bracegirdles, Goodbodies, Brockhouses, Sackville-Bagginses, and Proudfoots, we are most delighted you are here to share our happy occasion. Some of you only had to walk the length of a dozen smials, while others have traveled from the other side of Middle Earth. Whichever you are, thank you, thank you so much for coming to our wedding."

Shouts of "Hooray!" and "Congratulations!" rang out from the crowd, many of the guests hammering joyously on the tables while doing so.

"Today is an auspicious day, for it is my wedding, my birthday, and the one-year anniversary of my arrival by barrel at Esgaroth on the Long Lake. At the time, I had quite a terrible cold and had forgotten it was my birthday altogether. It took me a couple days to recover and I didn't remember until, until..."

Bilbo paused a moment, thinking back on those earliest nights in Lake Town. He hadn't thought about it in such terms, but he had gotten married nearly one year to the day he and Thorin had been betrothed. The realization hit him hard in the gut--so much so, he feared for the dinner he had just eaten. He did not know how he did not think of it before! As if it weren't already painful enough for Thorin, Bilbo had to go and pick a day in late September to marry another lover.

Bilbo started to lose the crowd when he went off on his tangent about Esgaroth, and now that he had gotten lost in his thoughts, his audience was confused and silent, save for a few uncomfortable coughs.

Kili nudged Bilbo, silently prodding him to continue. Bilbo said, "Oh, um, Kili, why don't you speak to our guests for a moment?"

Kili looked out at the crowd, eyes wide. He hadn't expected to address them so soon. "Well, um, I've only been here a handful of weeks, which is too short a time to live among such excellent and admirable hobbits--"

The crowd was back in force, whooping and cheering. A few happy cries of "Kili Baggins!" and "Prince Kili!" were heard.

"You've all been quite kind to me, Fili, and Bofur, especially with helping us settle in. I'm also humbled and so very grateful to see our family and friends from far away here tonight. This would not be the same without you, and we adore you all. We hope each one of you are enjoying yourselves as much as we are."

As the crowd shouted affirmations and stamped, Kili deferred to Bilbo again, because he was not quite sure what else to say.

Bilbo managed to get his crisis of conscience under control enough to finish his speech. "Although we've made quite an effort so far, we've not gotten around to sharing our gratitude with you individually. We will do what we can but just in case, I want to tell you we are immensely fond of you all. We will be serving cake in a short while. In the meantime, dance, drink, and be merry!"

Applause, hearty roars of delight, and hoots went up at a near-deafening volume.

As Kili and Bilbo descended the stage, Kili whispered, "What was that about? What happened to you up there?"

 

*****

Thorin perked up at the sound of Bilbo's voice, though he could not step out far enough to see him without being seen himself. Listening to Bilbo address his guests put him in mind of a happier time, when Thorin had been announcing their engagement to a dining room full of rowdy dwarrows in Lake Town. The realization it had been nearly a year ago to this very day was not a fresh one for Thorin; it had crossed his mind several times. Back then, he had no idea he would have to endure such a bitter anniversary of what had been one of the happiest days of his life. He closed his eyes for a moment and remembered their bath together, the kiss after the speech, dinner, Bilbo dancing at the pub, and their kiss-filled return to the house to make love--gods, and how they had made love that night!

Bilbo mentioned his arrival in Lake Town, then faltered. Sounding a touch shaken, Bilbo bade Kili to take over. Thorin's pulse quickened. Was Bilbo thinking of the same thing he was? He strained to get a better glimpse, but could only see Bilbo from the knees down. Bilbo eventually spoke again, ending the speech. Whatever had gotten into him seemed to have mostly passed, though Bilbo's voice was not as strong at the finish as it had been when he started.

Thorin fiercely wanted to give himself the luxury of hope, clinging onto these shreds of moments, but he reminded himself he could not dwell on such things. Today was supposed to be about the loss of hope, to hear with his own ears and see with his own eyes Bilbo promising himself to another. If he was honest with himself, though, a part of him came to the wedding waiting for Bilbo to have a change of heart. One last, tiny glimmer of hope seemed to remain even now, after the couple's promises had been spoken and sealed. Thorin hated it even as he clung to it, knowing he would be sleeping alone in the end.

 

*****

Sitting with Dwalin, Dís finished her dinner with Ori's admonishment fresh in her mind.

"Tell me of this The Fourteen nonsense," she implored.  
Dwalin bristled and his voice carried an authority he usually did not use in Dís's company. "It is not nonsense. It is a tremendous honor in Erebor--only royal titles hold as much regard. Everyone who made the journey holds a position in Council, and though not all of them sit in with regularity, their presence and suggestion would command as much respect as a prince's. Their word holds nearly as much weight as the king's, for no one of us alone claimed the mountain back for our people. Although I hold my own grudge against Bilbo for the pain he caused Thorin, I shall always respect him as one of The Fourteen, with or without his new title. Indeed, he did more than most when it came to acts of bare courage. I'd, ah, ask you not to tell anyone I said that last part, though."  
Dís listened, surprised. "I've heard the term quite a bit since the lads returned, and more still since we've met up again, but I thought it was a title you used between yourselves. Obviously, you are all heroes of Erebor, but I did not realize...I just supposed with...I don't know what I thought, actually."  
As Dís trailed off in distress, Dwalin took her hand. "No one faults you for any gaps in your understanding. I was there in the flesh and I can scarcely believe myself how things came to be. We were all of us profoundly changed, not only by the events that won us back the mountain, but also what came after. There are ballads about me--me, of all souls! I never would have dreamed it. The Men of the newly re-burgeoning Dale respect us as no Men have before. Dain himself is commissioning statues of all fourteen of us to line the hall to the library. Just you wait. You are Princess of Erebor, after all. You will be hailed and exalted in ways you've perhaps never imagined."

 

 

*****

The children had moved on from Nori, Ori, and Bilbo and were currently climbing a sitting Beorn as though he were a tree.

Smirking, Bofur asked, "Do you need help?"  
"No, no, I'm quite fine, thank you!" Beorn chortled.

*****

 

Fili, Bofur, Bifur, and Dori were given the rather careful task of distributing the wine Elrond had sent for the wedding. Although the elves brought more when they arrived, it was not enough to satisfy over two hundred guests with a healthy thirst for spirits. In the interest of avoiding incident, Bilbo had bottles delivered to specific tables of guests. The dwarrows, Beorn, the elves, and the lead table all received bottles, of course, as well as certain hobbit houses. The Greenhands, Gamgees, and Tooks were all included in the honors. The other guests were delivered more regional wines and never realized the deception. However, Bilbo failed to report the special bottles of wine were also more potent to a hobbit or dwarf's constitution, resulting in a percentage of guests getting drunker more quickly than they may have intended.

 

*****

"Master Ori?" Dís said, brushing his arm.  
Ori had been laughing at something Thodora said when he turned. Seeing Dís faded the smile from his face. Still, he bowed shallowly. "At your service."  
"May I have a moment?" she asked.

Thodora and Chadham excused themselves before Ori had a chance to answer.

"I'm proud, you know," Dís said, "but I'm not so proud that I cannot admit when I'm wrong. You came to me with your insight and it was hard for me to hear. This whole situation is difficult to bear because I dislike relinquishing control. That is no excuse, though. I was haughty and it was wrong of me to show disrespect for your station as one of The Fourteen."  
Ori apologized, too. "I should not have thrown that at you in the way I did. I wanted you to listen to me because I love the same people you love, not because of politics."  
"Having had time to mull over your words, I understand better. I will be taking your advice into consideration and hope you accept my apology."  
"Perhaps you will accept mine, too, and we can get into some of this lovely elvish wine Fili is bringing 'round?"  
"That sounds rather good," Dís replied with a smile.

 

*****

Bilbo had recently finished discussing his alarming epiphany with Kili when Bofur and Fili approached their table.

Said Fili, "We're going to take a moment to run back to Bag End and get our instruments. Bo has a desire to join the band, and I figure the fiddle will come in handy for one of us, or perhaps Dwalin, before the end."  
"What a lovely idea," Bilbo replied.  
Kili agreed, "If it wasn't a party before, it will be one now!"  
Fili and Bofur turned to go.  
"We won't be but a moment," Bofur promised over his shoulder.  
"Wait!" Bilbo shouted.  
Fili stepped back to the table. "What?"  
"Would you mind missing just a little more of the party to run to check on Thorin? Please?" Bilbo asked.  
Fili glanced at Kili. "Kee?"  
Kili nodded. "It is not a bad idea, you know. We're all worried about him."  
"Then I will check on him."  
Fili turned to go again.  
"Fee?" Bilbo called after him.  
Fili's shoulders slumped and he exhaled exasperatedly before turning around again. "Yes?"  
Bilbo looked sheepish, but pressed on. "Perhaps, maybe, you could stop by the field kitchen and bring him something to eat?" he asked in a thin voice.  
Resigned, Fili replied, "Of course I will. Anything else?"  
Bilbo breathed out in relief. "No, that is already quite a bit. Thank you, Fee. He has weighed heavy on my mind today."  
Fili's expression softened. "Our pleasure, Bee, but we are going now so we don't miss too much."  
"Yes, yes of course. We'll wait to do the cake until you return."

After the dwarves left again, Kili slung an arm around Bilbo. "That was a good idea you had, you know, having someone look in on him. Kind of you to think of food, too."  
"I'm sorry I'm fussing over Thorin on our wedding day," Bilbo apologized.  
Kili kissed Bilbo's hair. "I'm fretting over him nearly as much as you are. Besides, you're here with me and it is not as though you are wringing your hands wishing I was him instead, right?"  
"Of course not!"  
"We've been through too much together, the three of us, for him not to permeate our thoughts today...even more so in light of such an anniversary. Had you not sent Fili on that errand, I might have gone to check on him myself, although..."  
"Although what?" Bilbo asked.  
Kili's eyes flicked over the crowd. "Although I'm beginning to believe Fili might find his knock on Thorin's door goes unanswered."

 

*****

Fili had already planned a stop by the field kitchen prior to Bilbo's request, because getting their instruments was merely a ruse to explain their temporary absence. In addition to a plate for Thorin, Fili and Bofur returned to Bag End with enough food for Kili and Bilbo to have tomorrow's breakfast, second breakfast, elevensies, and a little snack for later on tonight if they needed to keep up their energy. Fili and Bofur also opened a couple windows to freshen the air, arranged several new candles in holders around the master bedroom, filled the oil dish, and laid two bundles of wildflowers on the pillows. Bofur fetched the special, engraved goblets from over the fireplace, cleaned them, and set them on the bedside table, ready for wine.

Fili finished up in the kitchen while Bofur waited by the door, watching him. Thorin had brought all three of the Shire-dwelling dwarrows the finest outfits Bofur had ever seen, though Kili's was (rightfully) by far the most elaborate. Fili was always achingly gorgeous to Bofur's eye, and with him all dressed up today it had been particularly difficult to keep his hands to himself. Having a few minutes alone, Bofur decided he did not need to remain fully restrained.

Fili joined him, drying his hands. "All finished! Ready to...why are you looking at me like that?"

Growling in response, Bofur shoved Fili against the door with a fierce kiss. Fili surrendered to it immediately. Bofur lifted and fumbled with the princely layers of formal wear, leaving Fili's mouth only to drop to his knees. Pushing, tugging, and untying, Bofur finally freed Fili's cock. There was a soft "thunk" as Fili's head hit the door behind him. Fili's needy grunts turned to sharp gasps when Bofur took him all the way in his mouth, swirling his tongue and sucking the very special way Bofur did when Fili's orgasm was foremost on his mind. Fili could never hold off for long when Bofur was so single-minded, though at times like this he never particularly wanted to. Bofur moaned through Fili's hot, wet finish in his mouth.

Leaving Fili satisfied and gasping, Bofur pulled his own prick from its trappings. Still on his knees, he looked up at Fili while he stroked, his eyes burning with passion.

Between gulps of breath, Bofur said, "Do you have any idea what you are in for tonight? I'm going to use you--" he paused to lick his palm, voicing a pleasured groan when he continued his efforts. "Use you hard and put you to bed with a pink, swollen hole. How do you feel about _that_ , Your Highness?"  
Fili made a strangled noise and knelt. He pushed Bofur to the floor, knocked his hand away, and wrapped his lips around his cock.  
Bofur keened, repeatedly bucking up into Fili's mouth. He rasped, "Take it, finish me off while I fuck your face. Beautiful--y-you're so beauti-"

Bofur's orgasm shook him, halting him from completing his sentence.

Swallowing the last of it, Fili moved up to kiss Bofur. "I will be bitterly, bitterly disappointed if you do not follow through on those promises later."  
Still panting, Bofur laughed. "Well, I wasn't merely talking dirty to myself, y'know...although it definitely got me there faster. Your mouth was a welcome addition."  
Fili stood and helped Bofur up. "We didn't have time to clean come off Bilbo's floor," he joked.

The two of them fastened themselves back up, brushing the floor dust off their knees. Fili had Bofur turn around to pat the dust off his back, smacking his arse for good measure.

On the way out the door, Bofur made sure to grab a fiddle and the whistle.

 

*****

Thorin carefully adjusted in his spot to continue his surveillance of the party. His eye came back time and again to Bilbo with the other dwarves, Bilbo and the elves, and Bilbo and Beorn. The hobbit seemed so happy to be around them and so very loved in return. Would he have had such close and varied friendships with Thorin as a husband? Would Thorin have even _let_ him get that close to anyone back then? Though it was unlikely he truly could have stopped Bilbo from doing the things he wanted, at the least of it Bilbo would not have spent his winter at Beorn's, nor part of the summer in Rivendell. He huffed a quiet, joyless laugh. In the early days of their rivalry, he did not imagine how Kili could best him as a mate in any respect. Now that he knew better, he could not stop counting the ways in which he was inadequate compared to Bilbo's new husband.

 

*****

"Bo, why don't you take our instruments back to the party while I check on Thorin?" Fili suggested.  
"Why?"  
"If he is there, I can't imagine he will be in very good shape and in that case, I think it would be better for me to be alone."  
"'If he is there,' you say, so you also think he is at the wedding somewhere?" Bofur said.  
"You too?"  
"Aye, or at least I think someone is. I've caught a glance or two of something, but I can never get a good look. I can't imagine what else it would be besides Thorin."  
"Well, then, this might be a very quick errand," Fili said.  
Bofur kissed him. "Hurry back to the party. I want to dance with you."

 

*****

Nori glared at Isumbras, who had attached himself to Nîfon again after dinner. For the past couple days, anytime Nîfon was approachable without the company of the other elves, Beorn, or Gandalf, it seemed either the Thain or his wife were right there, simpering and flirting. Nori wondered if the elf was as irritated by their attentions as he was.

 

*****

Fili pressed his ear to Thorin's door to listen but heard nothing. He tapped on the wood.  
"Thorin? Thorin, it is Fili."  
He waited a few moments before tapping again.  
"Thorin? Are you okay in there? I've brought food."

Ear to the door again, Fili heard no signs of life. For a brief, terrible moment, he considered at least two far more horrifying scenarios than Thorin sneaking around Kili's wedding. He tried the door; to his surprise, it was unlocked.

"Please be at the wedding, please be at the wedding," Fili whispered.

Swinging the door open, he found the bed unmade, Thorin's belongings still in the room, and the king nowhere to be found. Setting the plate on the small table, Fili left. He nearly skipped to catch up to Bofur. Although Thorin's absence from the inn meant there was a good chance he was at the wedding refusing to make his presence known, Fili was too relieved to be angry.

" _Thorin, you rascal_ ," he thought. " _What are you up to_?"

Fili caught up to Bofur and they rejoined the party seamlessly, with neither Kili nor Bilbo the wiser about the surprises awaiting them at home.

"Fee! How was Thorin? Is he--is he?" Bilbo stammered.  
"He wasn't there," Fili replied.  
At the same time, Bilbo and Kili said, "He wasn't?"  
"No. He wasn't there and he wasn't in the Dragon. His stuff is still in his room, so he didn't run off anywhere indefinitely, but he's out and about tonight."  
Brightening, Bilbo turned to Kili and said, "He's here."  
"Now, Bee," Bofur said gently, "he could have been going stir crazy in his room all alone and just needed air. He might be simply out for a walk."  
"He's _here_ ," Bilbo asserted.  
Bofur held his hands up. "Merely pointing out other possibilities."  
Kili was on tiptoe, scanning the crowd. "Where would he be? If he is here, I wish he would come out of hiding. We're about to get into the cake."

Bofur furtively glanced out into the woods again, though it was too dark now to see.

 

*****

Isumbras, more than a little sloppy on elvish wine, decided it was a good time for one of his long-winded speeches. He made his way to the stage and quieted the band so he could speak.

Seeing his chance, Nori jumped up on a chair next to Nîfon. "So, are all elves as handsome as you or is this merely my lucky evening?"  
"I suppose that depends on what you mean by 'lucky,'" Nifon replied.  
Nori winked. "It means whatever you'd like it to mean."  
Nîfon hummed a laugh. "Are all dwarves as forward as you, Master Nori, or is this merely _my_ lucky evening?"  
"Oh, you know my name, then! That is a promising start," Nori said with a grin.  
"It is not as though we haven't been at meals and the like together."  
Nori's grin faltered a bit. "I suppose so."  
"Though, I _have_ noticed you," Nîfon added carefully.

Isumbras slurred in the background, _"...in providing us with such deca-ah..deck deck...decadent delights, mmmm, on which to dine."_

"Believe me, I have noticed you, too. I had a mind to speak with you at the party last night, but," Nori stuck a thumb in the direction of Isumbras, "between the Thain and his wife, I was having trouble getting the opportunity. When he got up to speak tonight, I couldn't resist taking my turn."

 _"...the son of my cousin, my cousin, cuz, cuz...that doesn't really sound like a word, does it? Funny. Cousin, cousin, cousin..."_ Isumbras rambled.

Nîfon laughed. "I appreciate it. He can be a bit, um, _verbose_."  
"I thought maybe you were sweet on him, or perhaps on her."  
"No. Neither of them are the one who has captured my interest as of late." Nîfon fixed Nori with a meaningful look.  
Nori's grin returned with full force. "Anyone I know?" he drawled.

 

*****

Three tables were set up in front of the stage, side by side, putting a temporary stop to the dancing. Stacks of plates were brought out, followed by baskets of forks and knives. The guests paused what they were doing to watch the process with interest. With mostly everyone understanding why a new table was being set, many curious eyes were cast in the direction of the cake tent. True to the rumor, _three_ great cakes were carried out by a total of twelve hobbits. One by one, these were set on the prepared tables. Bilbo, Kili, Gandalf, Fili, and Bofur gathered in front of the largest cake.

Gandalf cleared his throat and spoke. "As several of you have been anticipating rather eagerly, it is time for the cutting of the cake."

Cheers and whistles met him in reply.

"In dwarven tradition, Bilbo and Kili will cut the first slice as one, symbolizing their first task as a couple and further strengthening their partnership. For hobbits, serving out the cake is a sign of warmth and hospitality, traits important to every happy household in the Shire. With consideration to the hobbit side of this marriage, they will serve out the subsequent slices and take their pieces last as proper hosts."

There was a slight grumble from the dwarven tables. In whispers, it was generally agreed this day was for the couple and they should go first in all things.

Gandalf said, "Since there are many of you, please wait for me to release your table for your turn at the queue."

Now it was the hobbits' turn to grumble. No one wanted to wait for cake, particularly if they were to go close to last. The fear there would be no cake left was nearly palpable.

Fili handed a delicately forged cake knife and server to Kili, a gift from Balin. Kili stood with Bilbo, deliberating where best to cut first. With Kili's hand on the knife and Bilbo's over it, they cut out the first piece together. Plating it as a unit was not as advisable, so Kili eased it out onto the dish alone. Handing it to Bilbo, the hobbit dipped in reverence to Gandalf and gave him the first piece.

Gandalf took the slice gratefully with an incline of his head. He had not expected to be served before anyone else. He knew hobbits well enough to know Bilbo had bestowed quite the honor by allowing him the first piece of cake at such an auspicious occasion. He nearly glowed with the warmth he felt, not minding having to carry his plate with him as he released each table.

While Gandalf sent the guests up, Fili and Bofur helped Bilbo and Kili serve the cakes. One was a typical Shire confection: a great, sugared vanilla cake with buttercream frosting. The second cake was layered chocolate, a specific request from the dwarrows. The third was a unique invention, created specifically for this occasion. It was a combination of dense vanilla-floured cake mixed with pecans and a peculiar bit of something Bilbo had written special letters to import. It was called coconut, and none of the cakers had seen it before.

The fretting hobbits needn't have worried; Bilbo would not have let them run out of cake. There was still plenty left, both on the table as well as in the tent. Bilbo had wisely anticipated many returns for seconds while his guests were "filling in the cracks," as hobbits liked to say. When the first round of serving was complete, Bilbo, Kili, Bofur, and Fili each took a plate with a sampling of all three cakes back to their table.

Bilbo delicately fed Kili his first bite. It was chocolate, and upon tasting it, Kili closed his eyes and made a noise like sin.

"You can't do that if you wish to save your passion for later," Bilbo murmured. "I already want you so terribly I've spent most of today fighting the urge to drag you into a tent and ruin all of our lofty plans."  
"Me?" Kili protested in a fierce whisper. "What about the 'accidental' touches you've been giving me all day? The flirting? Durin's beard, what about that whole thing with pointing out where you made me come?"  
Bilbo grinned wickedly. "Isn't that what you said that night? If I recall, you were the one saying you wanted us to remember it."  
Kili grinned back. "Don't bring facts into this. Here, take your bite."

Kili playfully circled a fork of the coconut and pecan experiment in front of Bilbo's mouth, gently pulling back once Bilbo's lips had closed around it. Bilbo moaned lewdly.

" _Gods_ , Kee. Try this one next."  
"Oi, what is going on over there? Sounds like sex!" Bofur joked.  
"It nearly is," Bilbo said. "Try the pecan cake!"

*****

Thorin heard them announce the cake and it nearly brought him out of hiding. He hadn't realized how much of an affection he carried for sweets until he met Bilbo. His time in the Shire only increased his fondness for things like cake and pie, due to hobbits excelling in the creation of such joys. With the attention Bilbo had devoted to this celebration, Thorin was certain Bilbo had not spared the cake. He sighed heavily. He had long lost count of the times he wished tonight was his wedding instead of Kili's.

*****

Bilbo darted into the tent area. He claimed he wanted to make sure the other cakes were on standby, but he was actually nosing around looking for Thorin. He checked each tent, but found no trace of the king.

*****

The music struck up again with purpose. The plates and the remainder of the original three cakes had been moved to the lead table to clear the floor for dancing. Bilbo had returned and was swiftly gathered up in Kili's arms to dance a hobbit reel, several of the guests pairing off with partners to join them. Kili danced with his mother for a traditional dwarven dance next. Other dwarrows took the floor with them, as well as Gandalf, the elves, Beorn, and the hobbits who had been present at Bag End for the dancing lessons. Bofur sang a song after that, danced to by many present, regardless of origin. Beorn took turns dancing with Nerithel and Daerbes for that tune, though not Nîfon. Nori was the only partner for him.

The dwarves were given strict orders: although it was a wedding, no one was to lead the band in a round of "My Beloved."

*****

Lobelia requested a dance with Bilbo. 

"My, this party has been so grand," she remarked halfway through. "You certainly spared no expense with your recent good fortune. Speaking of such, you look fantastic today in your fine fabrics and jewels. Perhaps I should have waited before marrying myself a Baggins."  
Her tone was too flirtatious for Bilbo's comfort. "Ah, but why marry for stuff and things when you were able to marry for love?"  
Wrinkling her nose, Lobelia replied, "That is laughable coming from someone who just married a prince and became heir to a kingdom!"  
"Had Kili not a cent, I would have wanted him anyway. In truth, there were times when it looked like the two of us would be banished with naught but the clothes on our backs and I still loved him desperately." Bilbo tried to keep the harshness from his tone, but he did not enjoy the insinuation.  
"No sense in ruffling the fur on your feet. I meant no offense," Lobelia replied. "Besides, I would have said you were one of the handsomest Bagginses before you wore a crown."

The song changed to something softer and more lovely. Bilbo was quite done dancing with the opportunistic and obviously tipsy Lobelia. Bofur rescued him with a deep bow and a request to dance with the groom. Lobelia curtseyed and excused herself.

"Thank you," Bilbo said, embracing Bofur for a hobbit touch-dance. "That was growing rather uncomfortable."  
Replied Bofur, "Aye, the look on your face was undeniably ill, but I admit the invitation was entirely self-serving."  
"Is that so?"  
"I've hoped for a few moments alone with you in the midst of all this. I have to tell you, I've never seen you this gorgeous, and you must realize that is quite saying something."  
Bilbo blushed. "You look quite fine yourself, Bo. Having you as my Pair has given me the added benefit of admiring you all day."  
"Being your Pair has given me more thrills than that. Fee and myself have not yet been able to share our impressions of your kiss over kisses of our own, but I can tell you I've replayed it several times today already."  
"I liked it, too. I confess to enjoying The Blessing more than is probably decent. Having leave to kiss all three of you this afternoon without my conscience to battle was quite an indulgence."

Bofur pulled Bilbo closer. He leaned close to Bilbo's ear, still moving in time to the music.

"I have a confession, too," he murmured. "Were my own betrothed not so irresistible, I would have considerable trouble surrendering you to the arms of your new husband."  
"I swear, your tongue must be made of honey for all the sweetness of your talk," Bilbo said a little breathlessly.  
"Merely being honest."

 

*****

Thus far, Bilbo had not found Thorin in the tents, nor had he spied him in the crowd. Remembering the peach grove, Bilbo formed an idea. He sat, taking a rest from dancing, and his eyes landed on the grouping of trees just past the Party Tree. After a couple minutes of scanning, he thought he saw movement, person-like in shape, and it set him back on his feet.

"Kee?" Bilbo whispered, even though he did not need to; no one was at the table but them.  
"Hmm?"  
"I think...I think he's hiding in the trees. Thorin, I mean. I think I saw someone over there."  
Kili did not glance back to avoid being obvious. Keeping his eyes on Bilbo, he asked "Do you see him now?"  
"Not exactly, but I'm going to take a look. Do you wish to come with?"  
Kili replied, "No. One of us would have more stealth than two. Besides, you might have the better chance of coaxing him to joining the party if you found him by yourself."  
"I'll be back," Bilbo promised, kissing Kili's cheek.

 

*****

Bilbo crept past the Party Tree, light-footed and quiet.

Once inside the treeline, he called out in a whisper, "Thorin."

Listening keenly, he soon heard the snap of a twig ahead, off to his left.

"Thorin?" he hissed again.

He heard a rustle of leaves followed by a soft grunt.

Bilbo followed the sound. He hopefully peeked around a tree, only to find Ori. With one hand down her bodice, Ori was kissing Thodora as though she were his only source for air. Chadham was in front of Ori, on his knees, his mouth bobbing on Ori's cock while a hand disappeared up Thodora's skirt. The fingers of Ori's free hand tangled in Chadham's hair, encouraging him in his task. The three of them were too engrossed in each other to notice Bilbo at all.

Bilbo made a mental note to get Dori drunk or find some other way to keep him occupied. Although he was happy for Ori's good time, he was disappointed this was the movement he saw in the trees. In fact, he was shocked at how bitter the disappointment tasted. Careful to not make any noise to alert the lovers to his presence, Bilbo retreated back to the party.

 

*****

A couple trees back and several to the right, Thorin stepped out of his hiding place, watching Bilbo go.

*****

"Well?" Kili asked. He knew from the look on Bilbo's face it had not gone well.  
Bilbo sat down with a soft whoosh. "He wasn't there. I think I wanted him to be here so badly, I was imagining things."  
Kili sighed in resignation and slipped his arm around him. "We both did--I think we had each other convinced."  
"Yeah," Bilbo agreed quietly. Humming a small laugh, he said, "I did find Ori, however. Seems our answer was 'both.'"  
"No! Really? Both of them?" Kili asked in pleasant surprise.  
Bilbo rested his head against Kili's shoulder. "Seems to be."  
"How... _undwarven_! Seems you hobbits are destroying the moral fabric of my entire generation of dwarrows," Kili teased.  
"Maybe what we've been through helped give Ori the courage to love the way he wanted to love," Bilbo said, "though I think a lot of our, erm, _multiple_ activites are still only between us. At least, I hope so."

*****

Bilbo brought another bottle of elvish wine to the table where Dori and Oín were sitting out the dancing. Eyeing the empty bottle already there, Bilbo only felt the smallest pinch of conscience as he urged them to drink up and enjoy the party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, friends!


	39. The Wedding: Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo and Kili say their good nights and take their leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the droids (sex) you're looking for, you pervs.
> 
> In related news, I know I'm evil and hateful for making you wait one more chapter for your elf wine-fueled fuckfest, but I didn't want the events of this chapter to get lost in the smut to come (giggity). 
> 
> Just remember I love you.

Thorin was surprised Bilbo had come looking for him on his wedding day. How did Bilbo know where to look? Did Bofur guess? Or was it by Bilbo's own figuring? That clever hobbit had almost ferreted him out, too. It took every drop of will Thorin had to keep himself from responding when he heard Bilbo whisper his name. What could Bilbo possibly want from him, tonight of all nights? Thorin leaned against the trunk of the tree and took several fond moments to indulge in thoughts of what he wished Bilbo wanted.

Thorin had been vaguely aware someone other than Bilbo had entered the trees on the opposite end, but whomever else it was did not seem to be searching for him. He remained safely concealed. 

****

Not finding Thorin in the last place Bilbo could think to look was a sad disappointment. He had fought a strange, unnameable feeling inside all day, but he had waited far too long to let anything--even his love for Thorin--steal away his joy from marrying Kili at last. When Kili seized his hands to take him for another whirl around the dance floor, Bilbo beamed back at him and went along, giggling.

****

The wedding, meals, party, and cake had all done their parts in softening the hearts and minds of any hobbit who held any doubt about Bilbo and his unusual union. Had any hobbits arrived today still judging Bilbo for willingly entering a childless marriage with a male dwarf, they had definitely changed their minds by the time the cake was finished and serious dancing had commenced. From this day forward, no one who was at the Baggins-Dwarf wedding would receive a poor word about Kili or Bilbo either one without offering a piece of their mind in return.

****

When Bilbo and Kili had danced with each of their out of town guests, hugged their hugs, sang and played with the band, and reveled in all the enjoyments their wedding could bring them with their clothes on, they made quick rounds in preparation to leave for Bag End.

Kili sought out his mother first. She clutched him close. "I can scarcely believe you are married! It seems like only yesterday you were waist high and I was combing burrs out of your hair from some fool adventure you'd gotten off to with your brother."  
"Oh, Mam," Kili replied emotionally. 

Dís released him and fixed Bilbo with a look. "And you. What should I say to you on this day you've promised yourself to my wild lad?"  
Bilbo bowed his head in deference, waiting with resignation for Dís to take her parting shot.  
"I believe I should say, 'I apologize,'" she said gently.

Bilbo, Dwalin, and Kili all snapped to look at her, stunned. 

"I've been protective of my kin because I love them, but I haven't paused to consider how my protectiveness was offensive to them. I consider Thorin and Kili to be smart, capable dwarrows and I have to trust in their choices. If I hadn't been thinking about the bitterness of your parting from Thorin or worrying about Kili's future, I might have seen there was yet honor and bravery in your soul. Regardless of the matters of Thorin's heart, you believed in his cause and fought for our homeland when entire nations of dwarrows would not join his side. I apologize, Bilbo. If Kili was willing to marry you, I should have given you the benefit of a doubt."  
"Princess, I understood why you were upset with me. Although it wasn't my wish to be disliked by you, I knew actions I took were the cause and couldn't properly blame you. Nevertheless, I'm humbled by your apology and accept it graciously," Bilbo said, finishing with a deep bow.  
"Oh, come here," Dís said, exasperated, pulling Bilbo into an honest hug.  
Kili was close to weeping. 

Dwalin looked on, at turns proud as well as sheepish; he had been none too kind to Bilbo and Kili himself. When it was his turn to say goodbye, he spoke carefully. 

"Long ago, I swore an oath to Thorin and though we are cousins, I count him close as though he were my brother. Kili, I've cared for you your whole life. At first, when you were but wee, it was particularly because you were Dís's lad and Thorin's nephew. Later, it was because you were too damned difficult not to love. Your--"  
Dwalin almost said "betrayal" but thought better of it, given this was supposed to be a concession speech and it was a happy night.  
"Um, your _love_ of Thorin's own Chosen was a deep wound to him. You could imagine if someone had hurt Fili in the same way, how that would make you feel. I've spent many months carrying the anger toward the two of you I thought Thorin should feel, but Thorin himself has given his blessing to your marriage in the most unmistakable way possible. If I continue to hold onto this bitterness, it will not serve anyone, not even Thorin himself."  
Kili figured this was as close to an apology as he might ever get from Dwalin. "Does this mean I get hugs again?" he asked.  
Dwalin smirked. "On rare occasion, though I think this one calls for it."

The two hugged while Bilbo and Dís looked on fondly. 

Turning to Bilbo, Dwalin said, "Now what do I do about you? You waltzed into a kingdom and turned the royal house upside down, breaking hearts and causing quite a disruption. However, you are a Hero of Erebor, one of the Fourteen, and you are the only one who knows how to bake my favorite cookies and cakes just right. Not only that, you'll bake them for me when I'm barely bothering to speak to you. I suppose," he stroked his beard in a show of hard thought, "I suppose it wouldn't do to hold onto much bitterness concerning you, either."  
Bilbo bowed low. "As with Dís, I never blamed you for your assessment of my actions. In truth, I have found myself thankful so many times Thorin has someone like you looking out for him. If you could be so angry at me, then his true enemies did not stand a chance. I pray you always shall defend him and act in his best interests, even if I should fall on the wrong side of it. He needs you to watch over him, and I need you to watch over him just as much. Do that, and you shall have your fill of cookies and cakes."  
Dwalin came close to blushing from Bilbo's praise. "I believe that is an acceptable deal."

****

Bilbo and Kili said their farewells to the Ereborian dwarrows, at least the ones they could find.

They found Nori sitting in Nîfon's lap, sharing another piece of cake. After the four friends embraced their 'good nights,' Nori returned to his seat on Nífon's thighs and the pair continued feeding each other bites. Nori's demeanor was calm and unflappable, as though he were the object of a handsome elf's affection every day. Nîfon was a bit more coy, but he seemed to only have eyes for Nori. 

****

It took a moment for Bilbo and Kili to find Bifur, as he had been dancing a group dance in a quartet with Isumbras, his wife, and Rorimac Took. All four paused for hugs and well-wishes. Isumbras grinned lasciviously, winking and slurring while wishing Bilbo and Kili an eventful rest of their evening.

****

Oín and Dori sat at their table, more than tipsy, with their feet up. Bilbo wasn't sure what the story was he interrupted, but they were laughing like loons. They were not too comfortable as to be bothered by sending Bilbo and Kili off with hugs, though.

"Good job, lad," Oín said in Bilbo's ear as they embraced. "You two together, it is as it should be."

"Hey, have you seen Nori and Ori while you've been milling around?" Dori asked, eyes skimming over the crowd.  
Bilbo answered, "Erm, yes, Nori is having a piece of cake and making better friends. Ori...well, I think Ori might have gone already."  
Dori nodded when told about Nori; he looked more alarmed when Ori was mentioned.  
"Gone? Where does he need to go on a night like tonight?" he asked.  
Bilbo shrugged. "You probably needn't even worry. He's with Thodora and Chadham, if I know him. They'll all keep each other out of trouble." 

Bilbo reasoned it wasn't _exactly_ a lie.

"Ah, yes! Good company, those two. Just as well, really--another round of wine and I might forget I have brothers at all!" Dori chortled.

Oín and Dori laughed as though Dori had told the best joke in the Shire. Bilbo exchanged an affectionately concerned look with Kili as he took his hug, patting Dori on the back. He glanced over Dori's shoulder to Oin. 

"Perhaps it is best if the two of you look out for each other for the remainder of the party, hmm?" Bilbo said.  
Oín cupped his hand to his ear, not sure at the moment where his horn was. "What?"  
Bilbo shook his head. "Nevermind." 

****

Bilbo and Kili approached Fili and Bofur last to say good night.

"So soon?" Bofur teased. "Why, it isn't even dawn yet!"  
"We need to save back a little energy for other _exertions_ , if you follow me," Kili leered.  
Bofur laughed and clapped him on the back. "I'm surprised you've waited this long, to be honest."

Fili hugged Bilbo. "Make sure you leave at least a scrap of his flesh by morning so I will still have something to call 'brother,'" he joked.  
"I believe you should be more worried about _me_!" Bilbo replied. 

Fili bit back a flirtatious remark. He didn't want to pressure Bilbo about his bedroom decision on a night like this. Still, he cupped Bilbo's face, pressed his lips to his, and--ever so quickly--ran his tongue along the seam of Bilbo's mouth before pulling away.

"Have fun," Fili said, smiling warmly. 

Kili and Bilbo split off a few paces from each other for a last, somewhat private conversation with their Pairs. Already so sexually tense as to be stirred stiff by a solid breeze, Bilbo's body quivered from Fili's brief kiss. He was not given much reprieve before Bofur swooped in, making obscene allusions as to what should transpire shortly between the marrieds. 

"I did not realize it was the role of my Pair to send me off with a stiff cock," Bilbo mock-complained.  
Smiling wolfishly, Bofur replied, "Ah, but no one said it _wasn't_ the role of your Pair, either!"  
"I'm pretty sure, given conservative dwarvish custom and all the trouble I've caused recently, it was fairly well implied."  
Bofur took Bilbo into his arms.  
"Dwarvish custom gets thrown out the window when it comes to you," he whispered, leaning in for a kiss. 

Bilbo let Bofur kiss him, as he had let Fili. Bofur's kiss was more exploratory than Fili's, though Bilbo would have allowed them both to kiss him breathless if they had had the wish. As he told Bofur earlier, the guilt-free kisses he took today were a pleasant indulgence. 

When they parted, Bilbo asked softly, "Was that tradition as well?"  
Bofur leaned his forehead against Bilbo's. "The customary kissing ended with this morning's Blessings, but I couldn't resist getting one last one in," he replied. 

In their own quiet conversation, paying no mind to Bofur and Bilbo, Fili embraced Kili. 

"This is it, you know, your chance to do this consummation thing as it was intended. Well, minus the dwarflings."  
Kili giggled. "We did things a little backward but I would not trade any of it. It all brought us here and I'm so happy, Fee."  
"I'm happy for you, too."

Fili kissed Kili's forehead, paused a moment, and placed a delicate, lingering kiss to his mouth. 

He murmured a final blessing: "May your night of passion last well into the morning hours and may the feeling of such bliss go with you all the days of your lives."

_"...all the days of your lives,_ " Kili repeated in his head, the words evoking both joy and sadness.

*****

One of Bilbo's relations met him on the way to the gate with prepared plates of cake to take home, though Fili couldn't remember which relative it was. He watched them go fondly until the pair disappeared from view.

"I look forward to the stories that shall come from this night," Fili told Bofur.  
Bofur slipped his arms around Fili's waist. "Perhaps we'll make a few of our own to share."  
Fili kissed Bofur. "Hmm, and why do you taste like hobbit?"  
"Bah! You can't taste that, though you _wish_ you could," Bofur flirted.  
"Well, that is a hope and a discussion for another day. Tonight belongs to Kee and Bee."  
"Aye," Bofur agreed, kissing Fili again and holding him tight. 

Looking over Fili's shoulder into the dark, Bofur saw a shadowy figure dart out from the trees and head toward the wall on the other side of the gate. It moved stealthily in the direction of BIlbo and Kili.


	40. The Wedding:  The Wedding Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 12,000 words of the smut you've been waiting for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Large portions of italics are dreams

Bilbo and Kili returned to Bag End. Just inside the door, Kili backed Bilbo against a wall and kissed him hungrily. Bilbo laughed breathlessly when Kili finally relented.

He said, "I'm still holding the cake! Here, let me put these down."

Kili was pulling on Bilbo's hand to lead him down the hall before the plates hit the table. Upon lighting a candle, Bilbo saw the room had been prepared for their arrival.

"I believe there is a village worth of candles in here," Kili observed.  
"And lovely flowers on our pillows."  
"And our goblets, clean and shining," Kili added. "I wager Fee and Bo sneaked home at some point to grant us this pleasant surprise."  
"Seems a shame not to use these, with all the effort put in to arrange them," Bilbo said.

Once they manged to get the candles lit, BIlbo exclaimed, "There's so many of them! This is nearly like daylight!"  
Sweeping Bilbo in to his arms, Kili replied, "Good. I want to see you very clearly when we make love to each other tonight."  
Bilbo responded with a kiss.  
"Fee and Bo won't be coming home before tomorrow," Kili ventured.  
Bilbo nodded. "Bo told me."  
"Fee said tonight was sacred."  
"Bo said the same thing, that tonight was too sacred for us to have an audience. He volunteered for the future, though," Bilbo smirked.  
Laughing, Kili said, "Of course he did. That's a conversation for later, though. Tonight, you're mine alone."

 

 *****

Not as many hobbits as Thorin had supposed seemed to think the wedding party was over when the grooms left. _"Hobbits must have more in common with dwarrows than I originally thought_ ," Thorin mused. As he left his hiding place to sneak away, he meant to follow Bilbo and Kili. His progress was slow. Even without the expected exodus, there were still enough random stragglers-home on the paths at the moment to put a hitch in his plans. He had managed to get out of the party without being noticed or spoken to, but he had to keep to the shadows and do a bit of waiting to avoid being seen along his route.

 

*****

Kili and Bilbo undressed each other. Both had attempted to do it reverently, but Kili's various layers and fiddly bits reduced them to giggles in no time at all. Once they had gotten Kili down to merely his shirt and trousers, Bilbo moved to unclasp his own necklace.

"No, wait!" Kili protested. "Keep the jewelry on. Crown, too."  
Grinning, Bilbo said, "Fair enough, but I think you should keep your crown on, too."

Adorned in metal, gems, flowers, and their own skin, the lovers pressed together.

Kili rested his cheek against BIlbo's as he held him. "I'll never get over how this feels, having you bare against me."  
Bilbo answered softly, "So you've said."  
"And so I'll say again. I can still remember the first time I felt you like this."  
"In the Elvenking's tent," Bilbo reminisced.  
Kili leaned back to gaze into Bilbo's eyes. Smoothing his fingers down Bilbo's cheek, he said, "I feel that same flutter inside me even now, quivering like mad with want and adoration."

Bilbo understood the feeling; he was experiencing it himself. He gazed back at Kili--Prince Kili--standing before him in crown and plait. The dwarf was a vision, no doubt, but Bilbo had one request that could make this moment more perfect.

He said, "You know, I find you stunning no matter what you do but I think I might like to take out the braid Fee put in this morning, if you'll let me. There's not some special reason it needs to stay, is there?"  
"No. It has already served its purpose."

Bilbo took out the clip and tie, threading his fingers through the plait woven close to Kili's scalp. He re-crowned Kili and left the courting braid as it was. Fluffing through Kili's hair with a hand on either side of his head, Bilbo grinned and said with satisfaction, "There. That's _my_ Kili, with the wild, loose mane. This is the Kili with whom I fell in love, and this is whom I wish to take to bed tonight."

Kili rolled his lips in toward his teeth, fighting a wave of emotion.

"Oh no, have I upset you?" Bilbo fretted.  
Kili seized Bilbo's head with both hands, tipping their foreheads together, their crowns making a soft sound at the point of contact. His voice was strained with emotion as he whispered, "I never thought anyone would love me for me, ever, in my whole life. Not only has it happened, but it has happened with the person I wanted the most. You like me like this-- _prefer_ me, just as I am--and...gods, Bee, I cannot believe my fortune. You have no idea how much I fear I'm going to wake tomorrow morning and find I'm back on the boat, or in Lake Town, or sleeping with Fili in a dry-rotted bed in Erebor. All this with you has been like a fantasy, like my best dream come to life."

 

 *****

"Bo. Bo? Bo!" Fili said, trying to get his intended's attention.  
"Hmm? What?"  
Fili shook his head. "You're drifting. It seemed like you were in another place."  
Bofur laughed it off. "Well, if I'm not here, where am I standing, then? Who's drinking this beer?"

He took a mighty quaff to punctuate his point.

"Fine, then, you're here," Fili laughed with him. "You've seemed a little distracted since we sent Kee and Bee off for the night, is all."  
"Just thinking someone should have probably seen them home."  
"They weren't _that_ drunk! In fact, they were hardly drunk as I know the definition. They wanted clear heads before they wrecked them with that obscene wine. Besides, Bilbo can find Bag End from nearly anywhere in Hobbiton and Bywater, dark or not."  
Bofur forced a smile. "You're right, Fee. I'm sure they are fine."  
Fili kissed him. "Now, go be sociable. People will say we are sewn together!"

 

*****

"Bee," Kili panted in between kisses, "I've wanted you all day, and last night before that. If we don't pour the wine, I'm going to get off without it."  
"I want you, too, but before we drink a drop, I want us to open each other up."  
Kili groaned in frustration. "Mahal, _why_?"  
Bilbo nosed kisses from Kili's mouth to his ear. He purred, "Because when the wine kicks in, then so can we--no waiting."  
" _Yes_ ," Kili whispered, rolling over to dip into the oil dish. "Oh!"  
"What?"  
"It is full. The dish, I mean. Nearly overflowing," Kili said.  
"Those scamps," Bilbo said fondly.  
Reaching between Bilbo's legs, Kili said, "Now, aren't you glad we taught them about sex? Had we kept this to ourselves, they wouldn't have known to set us up so well."  
"Quite--" Bilbo sucked in a breath when Kili's fingertip touched his entrance. "--Quite true."  
Kili worked into Bilbo, adding slick as he went. He rested his head against Bilbo's stomach. "This is another thing I'll never get over," he said.  
"What?"  
Kili continued to gently move and massage into Bilbo as he spoke. "How you feel wrapped around me, all heat and heartbeat and tightness. I had no idea, those times you spoke of it, no clue until I felt it for myself. Every time I touch you there, _fuck_ you there, I marvel anew."  
"Gods! I need you, right this moment, Kee," Bilbo begged.  
Kili withdrew gently. "Stretch me first."  
Bilbo made a sound of frustration.  
"This was your idea, you know," Kili reminded him.  
"Throwing my own words back at me just as I'm about to go mad--who knew my husband was so cruel?"

Bilbo took his turn dipping his fingers. He peppered Kili's torso with kisses while he slicked his way inward.

He rasped, "I'm wound so tightly inside, I feel like I've had some of our wine already. You feel amazing against me."  
Squirming, Kili replied, "You feel amazing _in_ me. That's-that's enough, I think. The burn I would feel later would only be a trifle compared to the need I'm feeling right now."

Bilbo retreated to clean his hands, retrieve the wine, and get it opened. Before serving the wine, he glanced at the beautiful new bedspread.

"I think, if you don't mind, I'm going to pull this off and replace it with an old one for the moment."  
Bilbo didn't need to explain any more to Kili. "Probably better grab a towel or two, as well," Kili added.

Their new linens protected from the havoc they were about to wreak, Bilbo continued with the wine. He poured the first of it into their goblets in equal measure, handing Kili the one with Bilbo's name and keeping Kili's for himself.

"I like this idea," Kili said. "I belong to you and you belong to me."  
Bilbo exhaled, glancing down into his cup. "I know it might sound funny, but I'm a little nervous."  
"At least this time we have some warning of what's to transpire," Kili pointed out.  
"I think that is part of why I'm nervous!" Bilbo joked.  
Kili smiled shyly. "I'm-I'm a little nervous, too."  
"I'm glad I'm not the only one. What has you nervous, dear heart?"  
"We've made love a hundred times, but only affected by the wine once, and never on our wedding night. This was a dream of mine--marrying you, consummating our union in every way it could be consummated--and now it is happening. It is happening and the wine adds a whole other set of desires and pleasures. Tonight suddenly seems bigger than you, me, or even us."

Bilbo slid his free hand over Kili's hand holding his goblet. They were both already trembling slightly and the touch soothed Bilbo as much as he knew it likely soothed Kili.

"Hobbits don't typically mark each other, not in the way dwarrows do. I didn't think I was capable of giving or receiving a dwarvish bond until it happened. Even so, the wedding night is a terribly special occasion for hobbits, regardless. Tonight will not be our first bond together, but it is incredibly significant in its own right. All day today, I've been thinking I wanted to take you home and rip your clothes off for a good pounding-"  
"-you did? Me too, so badly!"  
"Now that we've taken some time--under protest, I think, on both our parts--I"m glad we did. This _is_ bigger than us, but I'm ready."  
Kili moved Bilbo's hand from his and kissed it. He lifted his goblet. "To our journey together?"  
"Down every road, but maybe we'll just go around the rivers," Bilbo quipped.

Grinning, Kili and Bilbo took their first swallows of wine, eyes locking over the tops of their goblets.

"Do you remember how long it took to take effect?" Bilbo asked, setting their cups down.  
Kili squinted an eye in thought. "I remember we drank it getting into the bath and it set in around the hair washing. By the time we went to dry, it was at potency."  
"Well, I suppose we'll figure it out soon enough."

Kili pushed Bilbo onto the bed, kissing his neck and sucking in a claiming mark to start things off.

"Kee? I want you to be inside me first," Bilbo whispered.  
Kili replied in between kisses down Bilbo's bicep, "Why?"  
"It seems important. You had to wait for my love, wait for my kiss, and wait for my imprint. Tonight, I want you to go first. I don't want you to have to wait a moment longer for the things I can give you."  
Kili's tongue returned to Bilbo's mouth, pressing inside and searching deep.  
"I want that, too," Kili responded.  
"Do it now, like this," Bilbo implored.  
"Now?"  
"I want you already within me when the drug takes effect."  
Kili moaned lewdly. "If I hadn't already, I would marry you for saying things like that."

Kili shifted on the bed, lifting Bilbo's hips and pushing back his legs for better access. He pressed inside, Bilbo bearing down and swallowing him nearly whole in one push. They both stuttered out pleasured sounds.

"I think it might be working a bit already," Kili said, pausing to catch his breath. "Wine or not, I know I won't be long."  
Bilbo met his eyes with a mischievous sparkle in his own. "Then come inside me, Kili Baggins. Mark your husband like a good lad."  
Kili pitched forward, folding Bilbo full in half, clutching him close and pumping into him slowly. "Talk like that will finish me even faster."  
"Yavanna's Grace, you feel so hard. How have I never noticed how fantastically rigid you feel inside me?" Bilbo sighed happily.  
" _Fuck_ ," Kili grunted.

Bilbo's soft, gutteral moans swelled to more drawn out whines the longer Kili stroked him from the inside out. It was not long before Kili's caresses and kisses were driving Bilbo as wild as his prick.

He said, "Kee, Kee, I feel the wine. Everywhere your skin is touching me, I feel it. I-"  
His words were lost in a sharp intake of breath and a hiccup.  
"I know," Kili said, increasing his speed. "Fuck, _I know_. Is it enough for you with the wine? Can you-"  
"I'm going to-"  
"Please!"  
"I'm-"

Kili felt the full force of the dizzying swell and release, only able to call out Bilbo's name while he surged inside his new husband. Swimming in his own ecstasy, he still felt each pulse of Bilbo's pleasure, felt the breath from every gasp, while they shuddered through their orgasms. It seemed for a moment as though it would be never-ending, particularly when Kili pushed deeper to kiss Bilbo and sparks shot through them again.

"I almost forgot," Bilbo panted, "how long and intense these were."  
"I didn't," Kili grinned. "Although, I remembered being out of my head more last time."  
"Maybe it is because we know what is happening to this time?" Bilbo ventured.  
"Or maybe it is because we've not had enough wine. Our cups are yet half-full."

Kili eased out, causing them to sigh at the sensation. Kili picked up the goblets and handed Bilbo his.

"Finish it," he purred.

 

*****

The first round of Bilbo's neighbors exiting the tent-grounds had found their homes, allowing Thorin to move freely in the streets. His stomach and his poor ignored brain both insisted he go back to the inn, but he wasn't thinking rationally. Before Bilbo and Kili left the party, Thorin had already known what he was going to do.

Thorin sneaked up to Bag End, carefully positioning himself to get a peek in BIlbo's bedroom window. He knew what he might see would squeeze the blood from his heart...and likely send it straight to his prick. Over a dozen candles lit the inside of the room brightly, making it effortless to see past the glass (and likely difficult to see out past the glare). Thorin did not bother pretending he wasn't glad for it. He could actually see clearly by standing a little ways back from the window, buying himself at least a modicum of plausible deniability if seen by a neighbor.

Thorin couldn't hear much, but what he saw made him yearn. Kili was on top of Bilbo, _inside_ him, and they both looked as though nothing existed outside the two of them. They both finished nearly at the same time, Bilbo without a single hand to help him along. They drank more wine, erections never flagging, and Kili was upon Bilbo again, the two of them off to more flights of ecstasy with hardly a rest. Thorin felt grossly inadequate.

"Nice night for it," a voice said.

Thorin startled, head whipping in the direction of the voice.

There was the sound and flash of a match catching, the flame illuminating Bofur's face as he lit his pipe.

Caught--and embarrassed--Thorin tried to get a handle on his story. "I was simply, um...well, I was here. Not _here_ exactly, but walking _through_ -"  
Bofur exhaled a breath of smoke. "No sense lying to me. Perhaps you could get one of the neighbors to believe you, but no one who has traveled with you and Bilbo would believe you were doing anything other than what you are doing: namely, looking to get yourself a dirty peek."

Sighing with resignation, Thorin looked to the sky with his face burning in shame. "I don't know what is wrong with me. It is humiliating to be caught in the midst of my dishonorable behavior like this."  
"Don't feel so badly. It is hard to resist a little look-in on those two, particularly tonight with their magic wine." Bofur stood on tiptoe and peeked past Thorin to the window, as though to illustrate his point.  
"Magic wine?"  
"Aye, Daerbes makes it. The two of them had a bottle for their betrothal as a special gift from the elves. I say 'magic,' though it is probably a combination of many things. Bilbo said it kept them up all night, going and going without pause until either it wore off or they wore out. She can only make so many bottles a season so it is pretty rare and, you can imagine, in high demand. This bottle was a gift from the elves for their wedding night." Bofur chose not to mention the third bottle, or why he and Fili had it.  
Thorin couldn't help but grin in relief. "I thought it was just, you know, _them_."  
Bofur chuckled. "No one is THAT good, I don't think."

Bofur looked toward the window, his fond expression not lost on Thorin. Bofur seemed so _serene_. Thorin didn't understand it.

"How did you do it? How could you stand there and watch them be married when you love him?" Thorin asked.  
Bofur did not ask Thorin whom he meant. " _Because_ I love him. Anyone with eyes can see Bilbo and Kili make each other happy, happier than I've ever seen them. Happier than Bilbo's family has ever seen him, happier than Fili has ever seen Kili. Why would I want to break that up for my chance to bring him anything less? I grant you, perhaps I have it easier than you because I have Fili, the one who completes me."  
"Bilbo was the one who completed me," Thorin replied.  
"Do you not wish for his joy, then?"  
"I do, but I do not want to be alone."  
"Thorin, you are not alone. Bilbo, Kili, and Fili all adore you. Your sister loves you. Balin and Dwalin have gone into battle for you. Thirteen sodding dwarrows and a hobbit followed you into a dragon's nest. You have a kingdom to nurture and build. You are the least alone person I believe I know."  
Thorin sulked and crossed his arms. "You know it is not the same."  
"I know I was in love with Bilbo and Fili but still going to bed alone evening after evening. I was in love when you announced your engagement to Bilbo. I was in love when Bilbo fell in love with Kili. Many a night, I slept cold and lonely knowing full well Bilbo had a lover and not knowing if Fili did or not. I understand loneliness, envy, and sexual frustration. I flirted, but I forced very little that was not returned because I loved them enough to leave them be if I was not what they wanted. I had no idea I'd be living in the Shire with Fili, Kili, and Bilbo one day when that was happening. I can't even say I had faith it would turn out. I simply wished them joy."  
"Why can't I, then?" Thorin asked helplessly.  
"I've said some rotten things to you and I won't lie, I've meant them all. In spite of that, I think you do wish them joy. I think the bigger part of you has held on to hope that one day you would have Bilbo to yourself, but there is something else deep inside you that tries so hard for them. You were going to walk away from them completely at great emotional cost to yourself. You let them have their day today without interference, and the gift you gave them granting Bilbo his title and naming him an heir was quite a gesture. Those were very, very good things you did, Thorin."  
"I was there, today, at the wedding. Watching. I-I did not miss it," Thorin confessed.  
"If you saw it, you know they missed and honored you."  
"I saw that and more besides. I saw The Blessing, Bofur," Thorin said in a pointed tone. "You _kissed_ him."  
"It is tradition, is it not?"  
"Typically not with tongues," Thorin noted acidly.  
"Aye, you've got me on that one. I thought to myself, 'what would Thorin do in this situation?'"

Thorin stared at Bofur for a moment before a rare, genuine smile split his face. Thorin sputtered with laughter and Bofur joined him, both taking care not to alert the newlyweds to their presence.

Said Bofur, "Come on, the party is still lively. Kili's friends from Rivendell brought more of Elrond's wine and if we're lucky, there will still be some left. Plus, you simply must try some of this cake."  
Bofur slung his arm around Thorin to lead him away.  
"I shall feel foolish, not having been at the wedding," Thorin protested.  
"You underestimate how adored you are by those close to you, Thorin. Just about everyone will be thrilled you showed up, and those who wouldn't be will be too drunk to care. Not to mention, you aren't going to deny the Thain a chance to kiss your arse, are you?"

 

*****

Bilbo urged Kili into his lap, leaning against the headboard. He pulled him down for a kiss, but Kili couldn't bear it.

"I'm going to finish right here if you kiss me like that," warned Kili.  
"I don't mind," Bilbo replied. "I'll be right behind you."  
Kili rubbed his cheek against Bilbo's, softly moaning. "Wouldn't that be something? Getting off half the night with nothing more that kisses and touches?"  
Bilbo kissed Kili's throat. "So why don't we? Kiss me, Kili. Kiss me as though you want to come."  
Shaking his head, Kili said, "I'm not satisfied I've marked you properly yet, and you've not marked me at all."  
"No, I haven't," Bilbo agreed. "Bothering you?"

The wine was affecting Kili in other ways, heightening his emotions as well as his libido. He felt foolish, having been imprinted by Bilbo countless times before, but he needed this in ways he couldn't describe. Sheepishly, he bent forward, hiding his face in the crook of Bilbo's neck and nodding. Bilbo embraced him, sending tingles skittering across his skin.

"I need it, too," Bilbo whispered.  
He swirled his fingers in their dish of oil, reaching it easily without displacing Kili. He stretched his arm around Kili to slick his own cock, returning to the dish to gather some oil for Kili as well. He slipped two fingers inside him. Kili threw his head back and guttered. Pulling Bilbo's hand away, Kili sank down on Bilbo's shaft instead, making it Bilbo's turn to cry out. Knees on either side of Bilbo's hips, Kili wrapped his arms around Bilbo while Bilbo cradled him in his lap. Seeking tongues touched as their lips parted. Kili moved against Bilbo; Bilbo held him tighter.

"Love you, love you," Bilbo chanted against Kili's mouth.  
Kili smiled into Bilbo's lips. "I know it, now more than ever. Make me--make me _feel_ it, Bee."  
Bilbo bucked up harder and Kili responded by bouncing faster.  
"You drive me wild," Kili moaned.  
Bilbo managed to stutter a reply, "I'm close, so close to--to marking you."  
" _Yes_..."  
"My husband, my lover," Bilbo babbled breathlessly, pressing kisses into Kili's skin with each word. "This time, it is finally for real. Are you ready to be made mine, truly mine?"  
Kili nodded, whimpering in pleasure. "I was yours from the beginning, anyhow. Please."

Bilbo used his arms around Kili's body to move him faster, causing them both to keen. Suddenly, there was nothing but the pleasure, but their skin, but Kili's breath and his own blood rushing past his ear. Kili's fingers dug into his flesh as Kili's orgasm took him and called Bilbo's to follow. Twitching and gasping, they clung to each other while the wine's influence overtook them, heightening the moment and drawing it out until Kili felt as though Bilbo had just released his very heart inside him. Kili trembled in Bilbo's lap well past his release, not yet willing to break the closeness he was feeling.

"I want to tell you so badly what that did to me, but I can't put it into words," Kili murmured.  
Bilbo hummed happily. "Would you say it was an adequate way to honor you as my husband on our wedding night?"  
"Yes! By the Maker! I think I fell well short in my own duties in that regard compared to you."  
"Hardly," Bilbo scoffed. "Though, we do have a fair chunk of night ahead of us and the other half bottle of wine, if you'd like to give me an encore."

 

*****

Bofur and Thorin approached the gate to the tent-grounds, meeting Nîfon and Nori on their way out.

Nîfon bobbed shallowly in greeting. "King Thorin, well met again."  
"Cor, Thorin, I didn't think we'd be seeing you tonight," Nori said.  
Thorin felt embarrassment heat his face as he fumbled in his mind for a reply.  
Nori smiled and clapped him on the shoulder. "Glad you made it."  
"Thank you," Thorin replied.

Bofur glanced between Nîfon and Nori knowingly.

"Well, we won't keep you. Enjoy your evening," he said.  
"I assure you we will," Nori replied wolfishly.  
Nîfon smiled bashfully.

Thorin couldn't resist a glance back as the pairs walked in opposite directions, for the whole situation seemed queer to him. At the same time Thorin turned to look, Nori reached up and patted Nîfon's bottom. Things were suddenly quite clear.

" _I hope someone is distracting Dori_ ," Thorin thought.

 

 

*****

As Bofur promised, Thorin had hardly entered the pavilion when he was inundated by his friends. He was well-received with hugs and head-butts all around.

Dís hugged Thorin close. "You've got some explaining to do later," she whispered.

Having heard Thorin's stomach complaining on their walk, Bofur suggested Fili take Thorin to some food. He knew Fili would crave a moment alone with the king nearly as much as Thorin was craving dinner.

"Bilbo and Kili have been talking about you all night, missing you," Fili said as he led Thorin to the field kitchen. "They wanted you here so badly. Bilbo even bade me go to the inn to check on you and made me bring you food."  
"He sent you to see about me?" Thorin asked.  
Fili nodded. "You weren't there, of course."  
"No. I, ah, imagine you know where I was already, don't you?"  
"I suspected you might be somewhere close," Fili said.  
"I was," Thorin confessed. "I concealed myself to avoid discovery. I can't explain it, but I couldn't bear not to witness today--nearly as much as I couldn't bear to witness it."  
"I understand. Still, I wish you would made yourself known before they left. You should've seen Bilbo's face for a moment when he thought you were here. He lit up like one of Gandalf's fireworks."  
Thorin shook his head. "So much the better that I stayed hidden, then. They deserved their day without me in the middle of it for once."

 

 

*****

There was plenty of food left for Thorin to load a couple respectable plates. When he sat to eat, Dís shooed Fili away and joined him.

"I could have used some warning before you had Gandalf publicly announce Bilbo as one of your heirs," she said.  
Mouth full, Thorin replied. "So you could talk me out of it?"  
"At least to make a fair attempt. Quite a sweeping statement, all that. What did you hope to accomplish? Did you think Bilbo would flee the platform and run into your arms?"  
"No," Thorin answered darkly. This interrogation was marring an otherwise delicious dinner.  
Conspiratorially, Dís said, "Some have been whispering that is what you almost got. You should've seen his face! For that matter, you should've seen _mine_."  
"Sister," Thorin warned.  
"I'm done, or at least I'm going to try to be done, giving you trouble about Bilbo. Really, I'm going to make an effort, but first I wish to understand why? What was the purpose of that decree?"  
Thorin sighed and rested his fork. "I had many reasons, some which are mine to keep private. You must admit, it will only be to Kili's benefit for his husband to be recognized by the state and our allies."  
"And the naming him an heir?"  
"It legitimizes his title, for one thing, and makes me feel better for another. Any more questions?"  
Dís took and squeezed Thorin's wrist. "You realize these pronouncements are going to make it that much harder for you to get over him, don't you?"  
Thorin looked at his sister solemnly. "I will always love Bilbo. Always, Dís."

 

 

*****

Bilbo had shed his jewelry and they had both removed their crowns before Kili's present onslaught. It was a good thing, too, because Kili was currently holding Bilbo face down on the bed with his hands restrained on either side of his head, Kili's fingers laced into his. Bilbo's back was arched and his bottom raised; Kili pumped in and out of him steadily. They were well under the influence of the wine, now, in both body and mind. Kili had been at him for some time, on him like this, without relent. Kili was draped across his back so he could murmur a litany of filthy suggestions in Bilbo's ear while they fucked. Since Kili had pushed him on his stomach, Bilbo had counted two orgasms of his own and thought Kili might be up to three inside him, unsure because Kili kept going without pause. Bilbo felt as crazed as Kili seemed. The pleasure was almost too much.

Bilbo rasped, "I don't know how much more I can take like this."  
"At least a little more, I know you can," Kili encouraged him.  
Bilbo whimpered in reply.  
"Fuck, Bee--if I had my way, this is all we'd ever do. I'd spend half my time getting off with you myself and the other half making you come like a fountain. Every day would be like having this wine, as much as I could keep up with. Then we'd eat, sleep, and start all over again. Could you imagine? We'd simply fuck each other all the time."  
"I think I'd drop dead inside a week," Bilbo remarked.

Kili devilishly pulled Bilbo's hips higher, forcing a shout from the hobbit. The angle was deliciously punishing for both of them, particularly as keen as their senses were.

"Kee, have mercy," Bilbo begged.  
"I've got to make sure you are marked thoroughly," Kili insisted. "Tonight of all nights, I've got to make sure you're mine. I need to fill you until you've overflowed, I need to shred you with pleasure, I need-I need..."  
Kili trailed off, burying his face against Bilbo's shoulder blade. His pace remained unwavering.

In his own haze, Bilbo was reminded of Kili's darker moments in Rivendell. The dwarf had been deep under the wine's full influence then, though. Tonight, half the bottle still remained untouched.

"I am yours," Bilbo promised.  
"I need you to feel as wanted, as needed, as loved as you make me feel," Kili panted desperately. "I want you to have it all, anything you want--fuck, Bee, I'll give it to you. I'll give you anything, I'll give you any _one_ , I'll spend the rest of my life showing you how thankful I am that you love me, that you married me, that you want me, too. My Chosen. By some miracle, you chose me, too."  
"Gods," Bilbo panted. "How could I not love you? Want you? Marry you? You're--you're _everything_."  
Bilbo felt wetness on his shoulder. He was not sure if it was sweat or Kili's tears.  
"Bilbo," Kili whispered reverently.

Bilbo arched back further into Kili's thrust, rubbing himself into the damp towel below him and moaning at the pleasure it gave him on both sides. It only further incited Kili's passion. Kili worked him ruthlessly, coming again himself. He pulled another orgasm from a tearlessly sobbing Bilbo. Bilbo had the blanket clutched in both his fists and he struggled to catch his breath.

"Please, Kili, I need to move," Bilbo pleaded. "My back aches and I can't feel my knees."  
Kili eased out of Bilbo, his spend dribbling from Bilbo's hole. "I wish you could see this," he said proudly. "I've made such a mess of you."  
Bilbo rolled onto his side, wincing as his back muscles were allowed to shift. He glanced down at his indent on the bed. "Probably about as much of a mess as I've made of myself. I'm glad you suggested those towels."  
Kili blinked, trying to clear his head. "I guess I got a bit carried away. How many times was that for you?"  
"Three," Bilbo said, folding the towel over and tossing it off the side of the bed. He snatched the second one and smoothed it down. "Come here, relax with me for a moment. I could use a rest."  
Kili cuddled into Bilbo's arms. He ran a finger up the length of Bilbo's unflagging erection. "This says you don't need rest," he said mischievously.  
"My burning lungs beg to differ," Bilbo said dryly. Kissing the top of Kili's head, he said, "Just give me a moment and we'll have some more wine. I'm far from done."  
"I'm only teasing. I could use a few calm breaths before we continue, myself."

 

*****

Bofur strolled over to Thorin's table, wordlessly dumped a plate in front of him with generous slices of each flavor of cake, and walked away. Thorin poked at the most unfamiliar variety suspiciously. He cleaved a bite onto his fork and sniffed it. Poking it into his mouth, he moaned when the flavors reached his tongue.

" _Merciful Mahal_ ," he thought.

He worked his way through all three pieces, eating past his fullness simply to have the tastes in his mouth a little longer. Dwalin pulled up a chair next to him.

"Have you tried these?" Thorin asked, gesturing to the rapidly diminishing cakes.  
"Aye. I'll hand it to Bilbo's folk: the food is a triumph," Dwalin replied.  
"Agreed. If we don't leave soon, I'll never fit back in Erebor's gate."  
Dwalin chuckled for a moment but then grew serious. "How are you doing with this? The wedding?"  
"It wasn't as though I could stop it."  
"That's not what I asked."  
Thorin shrugged. "What is there for me to say? That I wish it was my wedding? That I wish Kili was sitting here eating cake while I was the one fucking Bilbo senseless? What good would it do?"  
"None, I suppose," Dwalin agreed grimly. "It was a foolish question."  
Thorin sighed, "No, it was a kind question and I answered rudely. I don't know what to say about how I feel."  
"Honestly, I didn't expect to see you here tonight."  
"I wasn't expecting to come to the party, either."  
Dwalin smiled. "Well, I'm glad you did, if for nothing else than to get some hobbit cake. We've missed you today, Thorin."  
"I've spent the better part of my day hungry, lonely, and hurting. I don't think I realized it until I arrived, but I've missed everyone, too."

 

*****

Thankfully, Gandalf did not feel the same need Fili, Dís, or Dwalin did to take him aside. Other than a kind look and a deep nod, Gandalf acted towards Thorin as though the king had been among them for the duration.

In truth, Thorin was amused by Gandalf this night. The wizard danced and laughed amongst the guests, all twinkling eyes and light feet. Thorin had never seen him like this. He almost dropped his wine when Beorn snatched Gandalf's hand and took him around the floor for a very spirited hobbit dance. Would have been a shame to lose the cup, too, because Fili procured him what might have been the last half bottle of Elrond's wine. Thorin had to admit, it was rather fine.

Isumbras, quite affected by the wine himself, came over and--as Bofur predicted--went on a drunken ramble about the immense honor it was to have the Kingly King of Erebor in his humble corner of Middle Earth. He lost his train of thought once and repeated himself a few times more. Thorin smiled politely and thanked him at the proper intervals. A couple minutes in, Isumbras's hazy drunken gaze turned blearily suggestive. Around the time Isumbras was saying something about wanting a dwarf sandwich with double hobbit filling, Dwalin and Fili called to him. Thorin was grateful for the excuse to pardon himself. He shook his head. Hobbits!

 

*****

Bilbo tenderly rubbed Kili's palms, a far cry from how viciously he had fucked him moments before, bending him over while Kili tested the strength of the bar over the headboard. Kili had gripped it so tightly when he came, his hands had cramped. Kili hummed drawn out, pleasured tones while Bilbo touched him.

"Better?" Bilbo asked gently.  
"I think, this deep into the wine, you could make me come simply from massaging my hand."  
"If I did it long enough. Even as the intensity builds, the urgency of need seems to be wearing off, finally. I like being desperate for you, but there's something to be said for being able to enjoy these extreme pleasures in their own right."  
"You are a creature of pleasure, that much is true," Kili noted. "I'm one lucky dwarf."  
"I believe myself to be the fortunate one," Bilbo replied, kissing Kili's finger that wore his ring. "You've an innate talent for the physical arts of love. You've turned me inside out and right side back again."  
Kili grinned at the praise. "Want to feel some more?"  
Picking up and draining his cup, Bilbo said, "Absolutely."

 

 

*****

Thorin joined the dancing without much prodding, taking turns with Dís, Nerithel, and a hobbit whose name he could not remember--some relation of Bilbo's, but weren't they all? Dancing with the hobbit lass brought to mind his memories of the farewell party in Lake Town and how Bilbo begged him to stay and dance with him. He wouldn't dance with Bilbo then, but here he was, dancing with a stranger at Bilbo's wedding. If he hadn't left Bilbo alone that night, would that have changed anything? Would he be holding Bilbo in his arms right now, as his consort? He'd never know. The dance Thorin stole in Erebor would be the only wedding dance for the two of them, he thought sadly.

When the song ended, so ended Thorin's mood for dance floor merriment for the night. Dwalin coaxed him on stage to play, though, and he joined the band for a couple tunes before begging off the night's musical amusements entirely.

 

 

*****

After they left the wedding, Dwalin walked Dís back to the inn. He paused at her door to bid her good night.

Dís looked up at him expectantly. "Well?"  
"Well?" Dwalin repeated.  
"After hearing of your exploits all those years from Balin and my brother, I expected certain advances from you by now instead of all this chivalrous tip-toeing about."  
"Forgive me, Dís, but I can't push myself on you so crudely. It simply isn't proper."  
"Oh, for Durin's sake, Dwalin!" Dís replied, exasperated. "I've mothered two children. I know a thing or two about how things are supposed to go."  
"I realize that. It's just...I feel...you're special," he confessed.  
Dís smiled up at him beguilingly. "I appreciate you think so, of course, but I wouldn't think a lass would have to wait this long for a kiss?"

Dwalin took her delicately in his arms, far more so than his size would suggest, and met her gaze.

"Oh, Dís," he whispered. His eyes fluttered closed and he pressed his lips to hers.

 

 

*****

Thorin had lost track of time, but he imagined dawn was far closer now than midnight. He bade those who remained goodbye--not a daunting task, as his friends had dwindled in number. Dís and Dwalin had taken their leave earlier--together, Thorin had noticed. Fili and Bofur left shortly after that.

Fairly confident Bofur would be too occupied to bother with catching him a second time, Thorin's route back to the inn included a detour by Bag End. With some of the candles extinguished, it wasn't as bright as before, but sneaking up to the window, Thorin could see Bilbo and Kili were _still_ making love.

This time, he did not linger. The wine and beer in his system were making him emotional enough as it was, putting Thorin in mind of a time when it was him staying up all night making love with Bilbo instead. He crept away from the window and walked back to the inn.

 

*****

True to his word, Bofur had Fili splayed on his back and was upon him, in him, riding fast and hard. He groaned with almost every stroke.

"Yes, yes," Fili wailed. "Gods, just like that."  
"Needy little tart, aren't you, Your Highness? Wasn't earlier enough?" Bofur teased dangerously.  
"-Needed you, like this. Been hard all day," Fili grunted.  
"Kissing hobbits will do that to you, you know? Kissing your own brother, too. Naughty little princes."  
"Bo-"  
"What was it like, tasting Bee's tongue for the first time?"  
"Wanna do it again," Fili panted.  
Bofur grinned. "And what was it like, tasting Kili's tongue for the first time? Or was it the first time?"  
Fili smacked Bofur on his arse. "Of course it was the first time! And it was barely even like that!"  
"It looked good to me. Bloody good. What about that one? Wanna do _that_ again?"  
Bofur snapped his hips and adjusted his angle to one he knew would help send Fili over the edge.  
Fili mewled. "Bo, fuck, right there, don't stop!"  
Bofur was close, and Fili's heat drew him closer. Fili reached to touch himself, but Bofur restrained his wrist. "I told you I was going to use you tonight, put you to bed all used up. Maybe I should put you to bed wanting, too."  
"Bo!" Fili whined helplessly.

Bofur waited until the last, until he felt he was going to spill at any moment, to let Fili have his hand. Fili pumped himself frantically, chasing release. Bofur finished before Fili.

"Don't you dare stop moving," Fili begged him. "Just a few...more...strokes."

Fili threw his head back and came.

Bofur rolled off Fili, allowing the blond to stretch his poor legs. Fili exhaled in a huff and turned to look at Bofur.

"You really had me going! I thought you were going to send me to sleep without finishing."  
Bofur laughed. "Putting poor Fee to bed with no dessert! As if that would ever happen, on either of our parts. I love to watch you get there, and I know you too well to think I could stop you if you wanted it enough. If you ever go to bed unfulfilled, it will be because you crave the denial."  
"You're too good to do without," Fili said, reaching for a flannel.

 

 

*****

"Make love to me in the garden," Kili said.  
"Now? Anyone could be coming home from the wedding!"  
"Come on," Kili cajoled. "It is late, we're not really on anyone's way home, it is dark, and we'll be around the side. No one will know, or they'll be too drunk to care."  
"Kee," Bilbo protested weakly. "You and your proclivty for fucking in nature."  
"You have to admit some of our most lovely couplings have been outside. We were outside for our betrothal, we were outside before the wedding...it is sentimental for me. I want to smell the night air and feel the earth beneath my back as we consummate our bond before Yavanna and Mahal themselves."  
Replied Bilbo, "You know I cannot resist an argument like that."  
"And what if we do have an audience?" Kili smirked. "We love being watched."  
Bilbo grinned. "I do believe I've married a demon."

Sneaking out of the house naked was illicit and it thrilled Bilbo and Kili, both. They crept around the house and Bilbo gently helped Kili down into the grass. There was a bite in the night air, so Bilbo covered Kili with his own form to share the warmth. They did not bring any slick, already being well-prepared from the precedings. Kili pulled Bilbo's mouth to his, kissing him deeply.

Said Bilbo, "I never imagined I'd have sex in my garden, drunk on elvish wine."  
"Hush and make love to me," Kili insisted.

Bilbo positioned Kili's hips and pushed inside him, making him whimper.

"We must be quiet, dear heart," Bilbo murmured.  
Kili wrapped his legs around for Bilbo, as much for warmth as for passion, and they began to rock.

 

 

*****

Dori and Óin held each other up as they attempted to stumble back to the inn in the dark. Dori got them turned around and they wound up on Bagshot Row.

"No, this is Bilbo's road. We're not going to Bilbo's," Óin slurred.  
"I know that," Dori said, leaning against him to hold himself up. "Just lemme think."  
"What?"  
Dori shook his head.

Retracing their steps, Dori thought he saw something in the garden behind Bag End. He didn't want anyone fiddling about, ruining the lads' wedding night. Putting his finger to his lips to indicate silence needed, he and Óin moved closer. They were not expecting the eyeful awaiting them.

"Are they? Durin's beard, _they are_ ," Óin whispered.

Dori and Óin watched, agog, while Bilbo carnally (and roughly) claimed the Prince of Erebor in their garden. Dori turned his head to the side, trying to suss out how it _worked_ , having declined a reading of Ori's book. His prick swelled in his trousers. He became acutely aware of Óin's breathing growing ragged behind him.

"We, uh, we shouldn't be witnessing this," Óin said. "We're going to get caught."  
Dori snorted, "Is that the only reason?"  
"What?"  
"Nevermind."

Óin and Dori had walked partway down the hill when Óin shoved Dori against a tree and kissed him. Wine having lowered his inhibitions, Dori was kissing back before he realized what was happening. When Óin paused long enough for him to think, Dori must have looked his question.

Óin explained, "When we were watching, I thought, 'why should the young'uns have all the fun?' I propose we do a little pleasuring ourselves. That is, unless your cock remained unmoved by that display, in which case I can always have a wank all on my own."

Dori dropped to his knees and worked open Óin's trousers.

Smirking, Óin said, "I was thinking we'd wait until we got to the inn, but-- _OH_!"

 

*****

Stroking harder and harder, Bilbo was carried away with wine and the thrill of fucking his husband publicly in their own garden. He thrust into Kili with all the passion and love he could muster, warm even with the chill in the air. They fought against their desperation to moan and wail, biting and grunting instead. Not wishing to wait for the touch-intensity of the wine to finish Kili off, Bilbo reached in and helped him along. Kili clapped a hand over his mouth and came for him quickly. Bilbo moved that hand when his pleasure washed over him, moaning his orgasm into Kili's mouth.

Kili gazed up at Bilbo, chocolate eyes reflecting the glow of the moon and brimming with adoration. "I love you, with everything I am, I love you."  
Bilbo closed his eyes, surprised to feel warm tears splash from them. "I love you, too."  
They held each other until the cold seeped in. Bilbo stood and held out a hand to help Kili up. They looked around before darting around the house.  
"Just a moment," Kili said. He paused to gesture toward Bilbo's shrine to Yavanna with his eyebrows raised.  
Bilbo's eyes met Kili's. "Yes," he said softly.

Bilbo lowered to his knees and kissed it.

Kili knelt next to Bilbo. He thought about the offering buried under the shrine and his prayers to his Maker not so long ago to heal the rift between the lovers. Now they were married.

Following Bilbo's lead, Kili kissed it, too. "Thank you," he whispered.  
"We'll bring wedding cake out to it in the morning as a more formal show of gratitude," Bilbo said as they stood.

They took another quick glance around and, seeing no one, went inside to escape the chill of the night air.

 

 

*****

"I'm about worn out," Bilbo told Kili. "I think I'm nearing the outside limits of what the wine can trick my body into."  
Kili smiled lovingly. "I'm about there, too. Perhaps one more before bed?"  
"I finish in you, you finish in me?"  
"Nice and even," Kili joked.

Kili stretched out on his side and Bilbo spooned up behind him, adjusting Kili's legs so he could fit in. Bilbo brushed the hair from Kili's neck and kissed it softly, moving languidly inside his lover.

"I have a confession," Bilbo whispered. "I've hinted at it before but can tell you fully, now we're married and it doesn't seem like a tease. I wanted you the very first time you kissed me, wanted you more than in mere body. Had we not stopped, I think we might have run away together. I can't imagine us making love that first time and being able to live the charade we tried to live for those weeks."

Kili craned his head in surprise, trying to see Bilbo's face. Bilbo shifted up on his elbow so they could make the eye contact Kili was straining to achieve. He continued his quiet confession.

"The day we found the door, when you snapped at me, it forced me to reflect. After that, there were no alone times for a while to have intimate discussions with you but yet, though you were cross with me, you still volunteered to take my place and found ways to comfort me throughout the whole harrowing ordeal with Smaug. I'll never forget the hand that found mine in the dark after the last dragon attack. I couldn't bear the face of your longing any more after that. When you found me, when I told you to do whatever it was you were thinking, something happened to me with your kiss. Deep down, though I was still betrothed to Thorin, some part of me realized it was you I truly wished to share the whole of my life with. I decided early on I wanted to court you, to bed you, and to wed you, but I was afraid of hurting you--of hurting us--the way I hurt Thorin. Everything we did, I knew long before it happened that I wanted to."  
Kili stilled Bilbo's movements with a hand on his hip. "Why didn't you say anything?"  
"It seemed a bit of a tease to hint at it, and I needed to be sure each step of the way. I thought I wanted to marry Thorin when I agreed to his betrothal, too."  
"You never really stopped wanting to marry him, though. You wanted to marry me more is all."  
Bilbo stammered, trying to find a reply.  
"One of the reasons I was so jealous even after we bonded was because I could tell your feelings for him didn't end. I learned to live with it and managed to begin embracing it. You love him now, nearly as much as you ever did. I think if such a thing were possible, you would've married us both."

Bilbo opened and shut his mouth a couple times, unsure of how to respond. Kili reached up with his free arm and tugged Bilbo down for a kiss.

"My jewel, I would not be much of a bond-mate if I did not know your feelings."  
"Kili-"  
"-And yet I'm here with you, having recently married you, and I'm bundled up in the security of your love as though it were the world's most luxurious blanket. I don't feel the threat from what you feel for Thorin as I once did. Or Bo, for that matter, so wipe the worry from your lovely face."

Bilbo wrapped his arms around Kili's chest and held him close, gently rocking with him. He was grateful for the effects of the wine's last rally on his anatomy--he surely would not have been able to continue their session without it.

Somehow--in his astute, mysterious, _usual_ way--Kili had managed to give voice to the seemingly undefinable sentiment that had been nagging at the edge of Bilbo's heart and mind for the better part of the day.

 

 

*****

Thorin had found Fili's plate for him when he returned to his room and smiled in spite of himself. Even on his own wedding day, Bilbo still fussed over Thorin. It was a bittersweet thought, to be sure.

Undressing and climbing into bed, Thorin idly stroked himself. His mind was filled with his memories of Bilbo, both obscene as well as loving. They were interspersed with images of Bilbo as he was tonight, naked and intertwined with Kili. He closed his eyes and tried to build a fantasy of his own wedding night frolic with Bilbo, but the day had taken too much of a toll. Exhausted and no small amount of heartsick, he fell asleep instead.

He tossed in his bed, never quite coming to full wakefulness, but not sleeping peacefully.

_Thorin sat on a table in the remains of the pavilion, resting his feet on a bench in front of him. The last reveler had cleared out and Bilbo's cleaning crew was not due to arrive for a handful of hours yet. It was not yet morning, but the sky wasn't as dark as it had been. Thorin looked around, wondering how he had gotten there.  
"Did you get what you came for, laddie?" someone said.  
Thorin turned to see Balin approaching him.  
"Balin? What are you doing in the Shire?"  
"That's a good question for both of us."  
Thorin sighed wearily. "Don't start."  
Balin held his hands up. "I'm not starting anything. So, did you?"  
"Did I what?"  
"Get what you came for?" Balin climbed up and sat next to him.  
Thorin glanced at his friend. "I suppose that depends on how one looks at it."  
"How do _you_ look at it?"  
"I didn't get married, which was the hope," Thorin said glumly.  
"Well, did you get laid?" Balin asked with a wink.  
"Balin!"  
Balin smirked and slapped Thorin's thigh. "Can't blame an old dog for barking, now can you?"  
With an uncharacteristically bashful grin, Thorin replied, "Yes, Bilbo took me to bed."  
Balin laughed raucously. "That's a good lad! Did it help?"  
"No. Yes. I'm not sure."  
"Hmmm," Balin said, stroking his beard. "He still married Kili?"  
"Yes."  
"Are you any closer to moving on from him?"  
Thorin shook his head. "No."  
"Doesn't sound to me like it helped in the slightest, then," Balin remarked. "You're not any further ahead than you were when you crossed into the Shire's borders, by my estimation."  
"That's not true, though," Thorin argued.  
Balin crossed his arms. "Enlighten me, then."  
"Kili and I understand each other more now than we have in the whole of his lifetime. I know Bilbo better, too. Seeing him in his homeland has given me a greater appreciation for who he is as a person. Seeing him with his friends, both old and new, observing his origins, and witnessing how he's managing to integrate his new life into his old one--it is quite remarkable. _He_ is remarkable."  
"Ach, you sound more besotted than before," Balin said disapprovingly.  
"I guess I am, at that."  
"That doesn't fix the problem you came here to solve. You're coming back to Erebor, still in love, broken-hearted with no consort. Didn't I tell you that you would be sorry you went?"  
"But I'm not," Thorin argued, realizing as he said it how incredibly true it was. The awareness lifted some of the burden from his heart. "I'm not sorry at all."  
"What will you do now?"  
Thorin shrugged. "Love Bilbo as I always have. Wish them happiness. Return to Erebor and lead our people, I suppose."  
Balin put an arm around Thorin's shoulder, giving him a little squeeze. He said no more. _

Thorin pulled the blanket tighter and finally settled into a heavy night's rest.

 

 

*****

Kili held Bilbo, the sexual effects of the wine having worn off, leaving behind only weariness and the remnants of their inebriation. After blowing out the remainder of the candles, they had done a cursory clean up of each other and settled into their new, comfortable bed for their first night's slumber as a married couple. Sleep found them immediately.

 

 

*****

_Bilbo opened his eyes to find he was sitting on Kiil's bed in Lake Town. Everything was clear--more vivid than his memories, down to the smell of the lake. The door opened and Kili entered, looking much like he did the day of their first confessions of love, only this time wearing Bilbo's braid and the mithril ring. Kili looked as surprised as Bilbo felt._

_"Kee? Is this another dream like the waterfall?" Bilbo asked._   
_"I think so."_   
_Bilbo nodded. "Apparently it really is a side effect of the wine, as we had suspected. I wonder why your room in Lake Town, this time?"_   
_Kili walked to Bilbo, cradling his face in his palm. "I've been reminiscing to myself today, replaying our earliest kisses and cuddles and thinking about how I wish I could tell myself back then it was going to work out for us, after all. Perhaps this is my doing."_   
_"I've been recalling some powerful memories of us together in your room, myself, so this could very well be from my mind."_   
_Kili quirked a smile. "Well, do you want to jabber about it all night or do you want to show these walls what I wanted them to see all those months ago?"_

_Bilbo kissed Kili, trying to maintain contact as much as possible while the two of them undressed each other. Once stripped, Bilbo noted they were not glowing from the touch of the other as they had in their Rivendell dream._

_"I guess the moon-glow belonged to Rivendell," Kili said, urging Bilbo down onto the bed._

_They pressed against each other, kissing, feeling, and entangling their limbs._

_Panting between kisses, Kili said, "Oh, but something is different! When I touch you, I feel it on my skin, but I feel your touches, too. When you are kissing me, I can feel both our tongues in my own mouth. Are you noticing it?"_   
_"Yes! I thought I was getting lost to the sensation of the dream," Bilbo replied._   
_"Don't touch me for a minute, I want to test something," Kili said._   
_Leaning down, he flicked his tongue against Bilbo's cock. Bilbo and Kili both sighed for it. Kili trailed a finger down Bilbo's length, down his stones, and pushed inside him. They both gasped. Kili withdrew. "I'm convinced. You try and tell me what you feel."_

_Bilbo reached out, wrapping his fingers around Kili's shaft. He drew in his breath. He leaned forward, nibbling at Kili's pierced nipple._

_"Yavanna's Grace, Kee. I feel it all."_

_With a growl, Kili pushed Bilbo down onto the bed, kissing him. He pulled Bilbo's thighs up and slid himself inside. He pitched forward, gasping and momentarily speechless._

_"My cock feels like it is inside you. Or me," Bilbo whispered. "This is going to be amazing."_

_Kili pushed himself up on his arms and gazed at Bilbo. He looked an unlikely combination of stunned, inquisitive, and hungry. It reminded Bilbo of their early explorations of each other, softening his heart and hardening his prick at the same time._

_"Fuck me, Kee," Bilbo urged salaciously. "Fuck_ us _."_

_Kili began to undulate in and out of Bilbo, moaning from the sensations of the phantom stroke as well as the tangible tightness of his lover._

_"Wow, I'm really, really good," Kili managed to joke._  
 _Bilbo giggled and Kili felt it at both front and back._  
 _"I've always told you, you are the best," Bilbo said._  
 _Kili gasped, "I've never felt anything like this._ Mahal, _is this driving you as mad as it is driving me? Have you ever felt anything like it?"  
Bilbo admitted, "I have, when we were in bed with Thorin, when I was inside you and he was inside me, or when you were claiming me and I was inside him. It felt a little like this, only with the added warmth and weight of another body."  
Kili paused, looking at Bilbo incredulously. "How? How are you not begging for someone to join our bed, every second of every day? You _ know _how good this feels and yet you deny yourself?"  
"It isn't that simple, you know. The other person has thoughts and feelings, too. Emotion, love, jealousy...it isn't only the pleasure involved when another person is present."  
"Fuck, Bee," Kili sighed, resuming his stroke. The two of them both cried out when Kili brushed Bilbo in a sensitive spot.  
"Harder," Bilbo pleaded. "I want to know how it feels around my prick when you fuck me faster and harder."  
Kili obliged.  
"I can't--I can't keep up this pace for long. I feel as though I'm being wrung out on both ends," Kili rasped.  
"Me, too. I love it," Bilbo said. "I always love it," he added in a whisper.  
"I'm about to burst"  
"I feel it--gods, I feel it all!" _

_Bilbo mewled as he sensed the final tensing of Kili's pleasure in his own abdomen and cock._

_Voice strangled, Kili said, "Are you coming with me?"_   
_"I don't think I have a choice," Bilbo choked out, equally affected._

_All at once, Kili pushed forward and shuddered, punctuating each wave with a deeper push inside Bilbo. Bilbo spurted onto his stomach, pulse after pulse matching Kili's inside him. It went on like this for several moments, their pleasure locked in perfect sync. They could only gnash, growl, and groan, unable to speak through the rapture. Kili collapsed onto Bilbo at the end, utterly spent._   
_"That had to have been the longest orgasm of our lives," Kili stuttered when he could speak again._   
_Bilbo hummed in agreement. "We came for each other and with each other besides."_   
_"Like last time, when I melted into you and felt you come from the inside out," Kili added._   
_Bilbo shrugged. "Lovers wine," he said, as though it would explain everything._   
_"All part of the magic," Kili said dreamily._

_They held each other quietly. Kili was still atop Bilbo, listening to his heartbeat. There was a distant sound of boot falls and Thorin calling Kili's name up the stairs. The bedroom door opened._

 

*****

Bilbo and Kili woke simultaneously in their bedroom in Bag End, just the two of them.

"What--what does _that_ mean?" Bilbo asked.  
"I-I don't know," Kili replied. "Wait! After you left me in my room that day, Thorin came looking for me. I hid, because I didn't want to see him, but he opened the door."  
"Why would you put that memory in our dream?"  
"I don't know that I did, Bee. I forgot about it until a few seconds ago."

 

 

*****

Bilbo and Kili slept again after the confusing end to their dream. They were sleeping soundly as first hints of dawn lightened the sky.

 

*****

_Kili and Bilbo walked hand in hand down a path._

_"Is this another sex dream?" Bilbo asked._   
_Kili looked Bilbo over and glanced down at himself before replying,"We've already had one, plus we've got clothes on, so I'd say no."_   
_"But we are together and we know we are dreaming." Bilbo looked around. "I don't know where we are, either. This is decidedly not any part of the Shire I know."_

_A wall of glimmering stone rose above the earth a short distance away._

_"I know this place," Kili said._   
_Astonished, Bilbo asked, "You do?"_   
_Kili squeezed Bilbo's hand tighter. "Bilbo, I think we are about to be gifted an audience with my Maker."_

_Kili had no sooner spoken than the fallen boulder came into view. As before, Mahal sat atop it. However, not as before, Mahal had a companion._

_"Yavanna," Bilbo whispered, reverently._

_At their approach, Mahal hopped off his perch, took Yavanna's hand, and met Bilbo and Kili, both of whom bowed in respect._

_"Things seem to have taken a happy turn after our last meeting," Yavanna said. "You must be Kili. Quite a handsome dwarf you are, too. You remind me of my own mate."_

_Kili felt a happy flush all over. A Vala--mate of his Maker--said he was handsome. Moreover, she said he reminded her of the father of them all! A soul-wound Kili had carried most of his life healed over with her words, leaving only the faintest scar._

_"Bilbo Baggins, Child of Yavanna, you are welcome here," Mahal said in greeting. Turning his attention to Kili, he said, "Little Brother, both you and your mate have spoken many devotions and given offerings in our names, asking disproportionately little in return. Indeed, the last time you stood before me, you declined my intervention altogether, despite a mighty offering. It is time for me to settle payment on that debt. You may never have a chance like this again, so consider your answer carefully. What would you ask of your Maker?"_

_Bilbo gasped, cupping a hand over his mouth._

_Kili was astonished as well, but he did not falter. There was only one thing he truly wanted in all of heaven and earth._

_He replied, "I do not wish to outlive Bilbo as I shall now."_

_Bilbo stared at Kili in wonder. This was all happening so fast. Bilbo was already near tears in the presence of such grace, bursting with pride in his husband at his side, but this was something else entirely._

_Yavanna added solemnly, "What if I should say to you that we would not lengthen Bilbo's life span, but shorten yours? That you would expire when Bilbo would on his own natural course?"_   
_Kili cradled Bilbo's hand in both of his. "So be it."_   
_"Kili, no!" BIlbo protested, forgetting himself in front of the Valar._   
_"Truly, you would assent to a shortened span to spend the whole of your life with your mate?" Yavanna clarified._

_Tenderly, Kili glanced Bilbo, who was softly weeping. "I would."_

_Mahal raised his eyebrows and exchanged a look with Yavanna. She smiled and nodded._

_Yavanna spoke, "Because you accepted our offer selflessly and without bargain, you shall be rewarded generously. Consider the test passed. It is not our place to assure you will both live to a third century, but if you are not parted by circumstance, Kili will not be parted from his mate by the limits of hobbit mortality."_

_Bilbo stopped crying in pure shock, gazing at Kili with wide, wet eyes. Kili seized him, lifting him fully off the ground in a tight embrace._

_"Thank you, thank you, thank you," Kili repeated, sighing, crying, laughing with incredulous joy._

_When he and Bilbo parted again, they were alone at the wall._

_"Where..." Kili whirled around. "Where did they go?"_   
_"I don't know. Thank you!" Bilbo called out to the air._   
_Kili beamed and took Bilbo in his arms once again._

*****

In their bed, Bilbo and Kili held each other as they slept. The windows were closed to keep the fall chill out of the bedroom, but a soft breeze kissed their skin and stirred their hair, smelling of summer flowers. Bilbo and Kili inhaled the deep breaths of a peaceful slumber, further entangling their limbs with faint smiles on their faces.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm dying for your comments on this one.


	41. About Last Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We start our chapter the morning after the wedding night...

Óin roused from sleep when Dori stirred awake, too, the latter having jostled the bed in the process. His head lolled to the side, surprised in his drowsy haze to have a companion. Eyes narrowing, he observed Dori had no shirt on. Óin lifted the covers and peeked underneath. Dori had _nothing_ on...and neither did he.

"Oi! What are you doing in my bed, not wearing a stitch?" Óin demanded.  
"Look around, you daft old bugger! You're in _my_ room!" Dori replied, somewhat loudly so Óin could hear it.  
Óin took in his surroundings. "Oh, so I am."  
"What do you remember about last night?" Dori ventured.  
Óin thought for a second, now fully awake, and a smile crept across his face. "I don't recall how we got here, but I remember you being such an enthusiastic prick-sucker, you didn't wait for so much as a roof over our heads."  
"Me? What about you? You were all hands and tongue, you know, particularly once said roof was found!"  
Óin shook his head. "What could have possessed us to take each other to bed?"  
"I haven't the slightest."  
"Silly, really, the idea of you and me."  
"Preposterous," Dori agreed.  
"I blame the elves and their wine."  
"Potent, that wine. Makes respectable dwarrows do things they would never do."  
Óin agreed, "Not in a thousand years."  
"Quite right," Dori confirmed.  
Óin raised his eyebrows. "Fancy another go?"  
Dori rolled on top of him. "Absolutely."  


*****

Nori blinked awake with the realization that he was in a bed other than his, wrapped in a naked, slumbering elf. Though Nîfon still slept, he held Nori in a decidedly solid cuddle.

Nori's reputation had preceded him in town after town, from dalliances with both males and females, and often with him hardly bothering to remember a name. He never imagined he was capable of sentiment, of such _fondness_ , especially for an elf. Though Nori had been a thrill-seeker most of his life--involved in a dangerous profession with even more dangerous people--he scarcely recalled feeling more alive than he did sharing passions with Nîfon. Smiling, Nori stroked the elf's hair tenderly.

*****

Dwalin woke alone, but imagined he could still smell his lady's perfume. Regardless of his strong desire, he did not push for more than the tender, heady kisses she granted him at her door. He had already patiently waited decades for any sign of interest from her. It would not do to give her anything less than a proper courtship.

*****

Dís stretched out in bed, almost giddy. Though Dwalin refused anything beyond their kisses last night, she knew they were the first of many to come--especially if she had anything to say about it. If she had only known all these long years how fantastic Dwalin was at kissing! She touched her lips and smiled, plotting her next opportunity to end up in his arms.

*****

Chadham and Thodora sprinkled kisses over Ori's body, effectively rousing him awake. Last night was a first for them, going to bed together as a trio. They had shared many kisses, cuddles, hugs, and a few manual experiments, but they had never gotten undressed and spent a night together. Ori did not yet dare attempt a bond--not after all the trouble sharing such things too soon caused Bilbo, to say nothing of whether Thodora might grow to bear their children--but the three of them explored each other thoroughly last night, nonetheless. Ori shivered as his cock stirred full awake from the attentions currently being lavished on his body. If this was what it meant to have a hobbit lover (or lovers), he was quite sure he never wanted to put on clothes again.

*****

"Good morning, handsome," Rorimac said to Bifur.

Bifur took Rorimac's hand and kissed it. Unlike many folks waking all over the Shire, Bifur knew exactly what happened the night before. Isumbras and his wife had been coming on strong, making quite an attempt to take Bifur and Rorimac home with them to experience pleasures of the flesh. In fact, it was Isumbras who introduced Bifur to Rorimac, though he wasn't sure which one was supposed to be the bait to lure the other into the Thain's bed. Bifur had been enjoying Rorimac's company, regardless. The hobbit made a real effort to speak to Bifur and get to know him despite the communication barrier--just as Bilbo once did. 

_"Ugh, there he goes again," Rorimac said, watching Isumbras try to drunkenly woo the king. "I don't know about you, but I'm not exactly comfortable with what Isumbras is up to, attempting to stack up lovers in his bed like fish at a market. I'm not planning to be a part of it, just so you know. I don't fancy going to bed with my relatives, and the two of them are way too inebriated besides. I've only entertained his nonsense thus far because I welcomed the excuse to get closer to you."_  
"To me _?" Bifur motioned.  
Warmth filled Rorimac's expression. "Yes, you. I know it might seem a bit brazen, but what do you say to you and me going off and starting our own party, hmm?"_

Turns out, Bifur had been smart indeed to take Rorimac up on his invitation. Their night together had been a passionate one, and if Rorimac's fattening prick was anything to go by, the morning looked like it might be more of the same. 

*****

Thorin woke a couple hours past sunrise. Rolling over, he stretched, pulled a pillow to his chest, and stared at the wall. There was a time when Kili seemed like the worst person possible to usurp him from being Bilbo's intended. Now, Thorin was almost grateful. Bilbo didn't marry someone who hated Thorin, who would try to keep Bilbo away from him, or--worst of all--someone who would not love Bilbo enough. If Bilbo would not marry Thorin, at least he was in the arms of someone who adored him and wanted nothing more than his happiness. Perhaps it was cold comfort, but Thorin welcomed any comfort at all this morning: the first of many mornings he would wake to the realization that Bilbo was now someone else's husband.

*****

Bilbo was weary enough to sleep until dinner, but an empty stomach and a full bladder roused him just ahead of the usual time for elevensies. He rolled out of bed, half-asleep, with his mind only on his immediate need for a water closet and his head protesting at his being upright. He heard Kili shift on the bed as he left the room. 

"Bee!" Kili shouted from the doorway moments later.  
Bilbo jumped, thankful he had just finished what he had gotten up to do. "You startled me," he complained, yawning.  
Kili grabbed him hard. "What did you dream last night after Lake Town?"

Bilbo squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his palms into his temples, attempting to dull the throb in his head long enough to remember. A flood of memories of the night before came to him: the wine, Kili pounding him into the bed, making love outside, Kili's revelation about Bilbo's feelings for Thorin, making love in Lake Town, the weirdness with the dream version of Thorin at the door, and... 

Bilbo gazed into Kili's wide, frantic eyes and somewhere deep inside, he realized Kili already knew what he would say. The thought of it was exhilarating and terrifying all at once. His voice nearly left him when he opened his mouth to speak. 

"I remember Yavanna and Mahal, together, speaking to us and granting you a blessing. You--you asked to not to outlive me and, and, and-" Bilbo couldn't finish what he was trying to say, because Kili's eyes were filling with tears and he was nodding. 

"-Yes! You remember it, too! That means it happened, Bee. It really happened!" Kili threw his arms around him, holding him close. "I was so worried I dreamed it all alone."  
"But how can we be sure it was real?" Bilbo asked.  
"After the things we've seen, after your own visions, do you doubt it?"  
Bilbo felt as though his heart was in his throat. "No, I don't."

*****

Fili and Bofur relaxed in bed, enjoying each other as the morning waned.

"We've only lived there a short while, but it felt strange staying somewhere other than Bag End last night," Fili said.  
"Good strange or bad strange?"  
Fili shrugged. "I wouldn't use the word bad, but I missed it."  
"Aye, me too. It got me to thinking about our new place. It probably won't be finished until Spring, but suddenly I don't mind waiting."  
"I thought I'd love a smial to call our own, but I didn't realize until this morning it was going to mean leaving Bag End behind. I'm sure Bee and Kee will be happy to have their home to themselves again, but I'm already a bit homesick and we haven't even moved out, yet."  
Bofur held Fili close. "I feel the same. I like the implications of having a place of our own, what it meant to give it to you, and more, but I've loved the weeks we've spent living with the lads. Minus those few days of trauma, of course."  
"Those were a few awful days, but yeah. I've always shared a roof with Kee. It will be weird living someplace different," Fili sighed. "Oh, but listen to me go on when you've left your own brother half a world away to live with me. If you can leave Bombur in Erebor, I can leave Kee a few roads over."  
"It was different for me. My brother and I adore each other, but we aren't as close in age as you and Kee. We don't depend on each other the same, nor have we spent our lives sharing nearly everything. He was independent and had his own interests at an early age. I spent stretches of time away from home mining in my younger years, and then Bom himself married young. There is much love in our family, but you can't really compare mine to yours with such different circumstance. Besides, the three of you are my family, too. Don't feel badly about it, Fee. I woke this morning with the realization that I'm not in a huge hurry to leave Bag End, either."

*****

Aching but starving, Bilbo and Kili dragged themselves down the hall in search of a meal. They found the abandoned plates of wedding cake where Bilbo had left them on the table the night before. Venturing into the pantry, they also found the food Fili and Bofur had left for them. They were grateful; neither one of them had the energy for cooking. 

"What do we tell people? About the dream, I mean?" Kili asked.  
Bilbo shrugged. "It sounds quite mad, you understand. I don't know what to say, or whom to say it to."  
"True, though it seems an important thing for certain folks to know."  
"Such as?"  
"Fee and Bo, for two."  
"Thorin," Bilbo added.  
"Of course, Thorin," Kili agreed.  
"But how would we possibly bring it up? It is strange enough on its own, but it isn't something to throw into casual conversation," Bilbo noted.  
Stroking his jaw in thought, Kili eventually said, "We will wait. An opportunity will present itself in a natural course, I'm sure. I think it would be best if we tell Fee and Bo when we're together."  
"What about Thorin?"  
"Either together, or you alone. I will not tell him by myself, though. It is too special to share with him without you."  
"I'm still stunned, Kee. You were going to give away _decades_ of your life," breathed Bilbo.  
"I was going to give away decades of loneliness and pain. It would have been a mercy to be spared. Mind you, we still need to be careful. They did not grant either of us infallibility, merely a chance."  
"Believe me, I know," Bilbo assured him.

Bilbo tucked into his food, finding he was ravenous. Kili must have been the same, because he chewed more than he spoke. With time to think and reflect, Bilbo looked back on yesterday's events with a less sleep-addled mind. He was married. He was a prince and heir to a dwarven kingdom. He had a gorgeous, wonderful, supportive husband. He very likely might live to be 300 years old. He had dream sex in Lake Town and so much real sex in Bag End he could still feel it. 

And then there was Thorin. 

Though Bilbo had not put it to himself in such terms, Kili had not been wrong last night. Were such a thing acceptable to Thorin (or his sister), he might have wished to have married him, too. A marriage to Thorin alone would not have worked for all the reasons he had realistically recounted for the dwarf before, but the part of Bilbo that made him accept Thorin's proposal the first time around never stopped wanting it. Bilbo never truly stopped wanting _him_. He simply, as Kili noted, wanted Kili more. 

Somewhere, somehow, Bofur fit into this emotional morass as well. 

Bilbo chewed absentmindedly, narrowly avoiding chomping his own tongue in distraction. 

"Are you okay?" Kili asked. "You've got a terrible look on your face and you just squeaked."  
"I do _not_ squeak! Never in my life have I _squeaked_!" Bilbo argued.  
"Call it what you want, but that was definitely a squeak. What's going on in your head?"  
"I'm just thinking things over, you know? The wedding, those dreams, the decree, Thorin, Bo, Fee, and all the rest. I thought having the wedding behind us would mean simpler days ahead?"  
"There's only so simple your days can be when you are a newly crowned hobbit prince with four dwarrows gagging to take you to bed," Kili joked.  
"Don't make fun," Bilbo chided, grinning in spite of himself.  
"I'm not! Bee, I don't expect you to stop loving Thorin or Bo because we woke with different titles than yesterday. My stance on the matter is the same as before. All you have to do is let me know if you would like to discuss changing yours."  
"I know, I just...I want you to always realize I'm so glad I married you."  
"You're not too bad yourself," Kili replied with a wink. 

*****

They were lounging lazily in the parlor when Fili and Bofur arrived to check on them. Their eyes were still a bit bloodshot and their movements stiff as though their bodies ached, yet they had wide smiles to greet Fili and Bofur and seemed to glow from within.

"You two look awful and wonderful all at the same time," Fili joked.  
Kili shot his brother a dirty look.  
"Aye, seems like case of the day afters from both spirits and sex. Speaking of which, how was the sex?" Bofur leered.  
"My stones ache, if that is any indication," Bilbo groused.  
"And my arse," Kili chimed in.  
Bilbo scoffed. "Yours? I think I had the worst of it."  
"Hardly," Kili replied.  
Fili mocked them in high voices, "'Oh, I was shagged more rotten than you!' 'I disagree, I think I was fucked harder.' Quit showing off, you two. Really, you are sickening."

Bilbo, Bofur, and Kili laughed, Bilbo launching into a effusive "thank you" for the bed Bofur and Fili made. Kili agreed enthusiastically. It tipped off another round of naughty giggles and innuendo.

"We're both fantastically pleased you enjoyed your first sleep with your wedding gift," Bofur said.  
Fili added, "We put many hours into it to ensure your wedding night and the nights that followed were happy ones."  
"So, do you want to hear what you missed while you were having all this arse-aching sex?" Bofur asked mischievously.  
Kili grinned. "Sure, what did we miss?"

Fili and Bofur exchanged glances. 

"Thorin came to your wedding party after you left," Fili said.  
"You lie!" Kili exclaimed, disbelieving.  
"I swear," Bofur promised. "Ask anyone."  
Bilbo's lips pressed in a tight line and he banged a fist on the table, standing. Oblivious to his complaining muscles, Bilbo stomped toward the door muttering, "Dwarvish bastard! All night we waited for him and he comes _after_ and I-- _HEY_! Put me down!"

Kili had chased after him, closing his arms around his waist and lifting him off the ground, putting an effective halt to Bilbo's advance. Bilbo's great, hobbit feet stuck out straight in front of him. 

"Put me down this instant!" Bilbo demanded. "I'm going straight to the inn to give him a piece of my mind! The nerve of him!"  
"Calm down, Bee," Fili pleaded, a bit shocked at Bilbo's outburst. "He wouldn't have come if you were there. No, he _couldn't_ have come if you were there."  
"He was embarrassed to go at all," Bofur added. "I had to convince him as it was."  
Bilbo had calmed enough to be set on his feet, but he still trembled.  
"You convinced him? Where did you even see him?" Bilbo asked. 

Bofur looked at his friends. He hadn't told Fili he found Thorin peeping in the window. In the end, he chose to keep Thorin's secret. "I went back to Bag End to check on the lads and ran into him, wandering in Hobbiton."  
Kili squinted at Bofur. "Wandering?"  
"He was a bit forlorn, as you might imagine. Didn't know what to do with himself." It wasn't far from the truth, Bofur thought.  
Bilbo sat with a thunk. "What did he do? At the party?"  
Fili said, "He ate-"  
"-enough for three dwarrows," Bofur added.  
"He spent time with Mam and Dwalin, of course," Fili continued. "He played some music, he danced-"  
" _He danced_?" Bilbo asked, incredulous and troubled.  
"Aye," Bofur answered.

Bilbo's brow furrowed as an odd sensation weighed heavy in his gut. Bilbo recalled _begging_ Thorin to dance with him in Lake Town and receiving a flat refusal, but Thorin Oakenshield had the audacity to dance at Bilbo's wedding. Not only that, he did it without Bilbo so much as present, never mind bothering to dance with Bilbo himself. Bilbo wondered who Thorin's partner was. 

Fili did not know what was happening behind the queasy expression on Bilbo's face. He sought to soothe it, somehow. "He didn't do it much, and it wasn't as though it was tender. His most meaningful partner was our Mam. Anyway, he spoke to me about you. It was important to him for the two of you to have your day without his interference."  
"Did you tell him we wanted him there? At the party at the least?" Kili asked.  
"I made that clear to him," replied Fili.  
"Well, that's something, anyway," Kili replied. 

Kili noticed Bilbo was unusually quiet for the rest of the conversation, causing it to wind down rather quickly. 

"Well, I could use a bath after yesterday," Bofur said. "Want to come with, Fee?"  
"Yes!" Fili replied gratefully. He placed a hand on Kili's shoulder. "We were happy to give you your night, but I have to say, it sure feels good to be home."

Fili's affectionate use of the word "home" touched Bilbo, enough to grant Bilbo's first genuine smile since hearing Thorin had waited until they had gone to come to his wedding party.

*****

As they undressed for their bath, Bofur asked Fili, "Merely curious, but why didn't you tell them Thorin was at the wedding itself?"  
"That is Thorin's place to tell them if he chooses, not mine."

*****

Messages were sent back and forth (courtesy of Hamfast's young legs) and it was agreed the elves, Beorn, the dwarves, and Bilbo would convene for dinner at The Green Dragon, Bilbo and Kili having just thrown a huge party to get married and likely in no shape to feed a whole group again so soon. Kili was relieved on Bilbo's behalf, because the hobbit forgot all else--including his own well-being--when there was a party to host.

After their baths and grooming, Bilbo, Fili, Kili, and Bofur set out for dinner. Bilbo clutched a fabric-wrapped package under his arm. It was his mathom for Thorin, and it was put together with great care. For Bilbo (or any hobbit), it was more than the traditional trinket, and for Thorin...well, Bilbo wasn't sure how it would be received, but from what he knew of dwarven culture, he hoped Thorin would recognize he was being presented with a bit of Bilbo's heart and soul. Kili knew what the package contained and reassured Bilbo with his blessing. He said Thorin would find it lovely indeed. 

Bilbo had managed to quell his irritation with Thorin for waiting until Bilbo's absence to attend the wedding party. Although earlier, he was ready to stomp down to the inn and give him what for, Fili's explanation and a couple hours' reflection put that argument low on Bilbo's list of things he wanted to do this evening. 

Several of the Ereborian dwarrows, Dís, and Beorn were arranging tables and benches in the dining area when Bilbo and his dwarrows arrived. Thorin was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Thorin?" Bilbo asked.  
Dwalin glanced around. "Seems he still hasn't come down yet."  
Bilbo looked to Kili, holding up his bundle with questioning eyes.  
Nodding, Kili kissed his head. "Why don't you go get him for us?"  


*****

Bilbo tapped on Thorin's somewhat ajar door, suddenly nervous about his gift.

"I said I'll be down in a few moments," Thorin replied gruffly.  
"Oh, okay."  
Thorin paused in lacing up his boot. "Wait, Bilbo? Come in, please."  
Bilbo shuffled in.

Finishing his task, Thorin stood. "I thought you were Dwalin or Dís. They've already told me about dinner twice and my patience was growing thin."  
"No, I-" Bilbo felt unexpectedly bashful. "That is, you weren't downstairs yet and I thought I'd come up, maybe steal a moment for..."

He trailed off and awkwardly pushed the bundle he was carrying toward Thorin. Thorin accepted it, glancing up at Bilbo curiously. 

"You missed the mathoms, you know," Bilbo said. "I had a gift for you." 

Unwinding the fabric and setting it aside, Thorin held a small, carved box in his hands. He turned it over and side-to-side, but there was no opening. 

"The detail on this is lovely, but I must confess I'm not sure what it is supposed to be," Thorin said.  
"It is a puzzle box. I wanted to give you something that would not be a great burden on your travels. There are only a couple hobbits in each generation who are truly skilled at crafting them, so they are prized by those who have managed to get hold of one. Here, let me show you."

Bilbo showed Thorin where to put his hands to open the box, which parts to shift and which parts to press. Bilbo's closeness and the gentleness of his touch as he placed Thorin's fingers felt achingly intimate to the dwarf. When the lid opened, Thorin found a braid of sandy colored hair, bound on both ends. He brushed over it with his fingertips. 

"Is this--this is yours?"  
Bilbo quirked a half-smile and shrugged. "I am cutting it soon, you know. I figured it was only fair for you to have one of mine since I have one of yours. I know cutting hobbit hair isn't as solemn as what you did but-"  
"-It is still very meaningful to me, nonetheless. This is far too great for what you told me mathoms are meant to be. For you to give me a braid and commission one of your special boxes? I think it should well be my own birthday and more for such gifts."  
"I, um, well, I didn't commission that box for you," Bilbo said.  
Embarrassed from assuming too much, Thorin stammered, "Oh, well, it is still-"  
"It was my mother's," Bilbo said quietly.

Thorin was temporarily stunned silent. Knowing how much Bilbo adored his mother, and how precious the favored items of one's beloved dead were considered in both of their cultures, Thorin could scarcely believe Bilbo would allow him to hold such a thing, much less give it to him. The braid of hair, too, suddenly took on a whole new meaning. For a moment, he thought he might cry. 

When Thorin could speak again, he asked, "Truly?"  
Bilbo swallowed hard and nodded.  
Thorin caressed the box in awe. "Oh, Bilbo. What a treasure this is--an absolute treasure," he said reverently.

Setting the box down gently, he embraced Bilbo; Bilbo relaxed into his arms easily. Thorin closed his eyes, allowing himself a moment to soak it in before he forced its end. He had to, or he was going to say too much and go too far. Among dwarrows, the gift Bilbo had given him--an heirloom of one's house, a lock of hair--was the sort of thing one would give one's mate. Thorin supposed Bilbo did not know what he had just done or how deeply it touched him. He made himself to step back from Bilbo's body, though he honestly never wanted to let go.

"They're anticipating us downstairs," Thorin said, with a fair amount of effort. "Are you ready?"

Bilbo nodded, not actually ready for their privacy to be shared. This seemed an abrupt ending to his gesture, though he could tell Thorin had been profoundly moved. A tad confused, Bilbo let Thorin lead them to dinner. 

*****

When they were seated, Kili whispered to Bilbo, "Did he like it?"  
"Yes."  
"And he kissed you?"  
"Oh, um, no, he didn't."  
"Huh. What did he do then, after you gave it?"  
"He said they were anticipating us downstairs and ushered us out of his room."  
"Not what I was expecting," Kili murmured.  


*****

The beer flowed and the food arrived in plate after plate, keeping the kitchen quite busy. Company was merry, to be sure--and uncommonly _cozy_ , Bilbo thought. He observed Nori feeding Nîfon bites of dinner as they snuggled together on the bench. Dís and Dwalin continually caught each other's eye in lingering, heated gazes. The goings on with Ori, Chadham, and Thodora were no surprise to Bilbo after last night, but Dori fussing over Óin like a wife surely was, and when did Bifur get so intimately friendly with his cousin Rorimac?

" _What on earth happened last night at our party_?" Bilbo wondered to himself.

"When do you think you might be returning to Erebor?" Beorn asked Dís.  
She replied, "We've been discussing it, and I think it will be sooner than later if we want to stay ahead of the colder rains and snows. I'm reluctant to leave my sons again, as you would expect, and there are plans to be made and provisions to be purchased, so it will not be an immediate departure. Soon, though."  
Beorn nodded sagely. "Wise all around, though the Shire is such a happy place, it will sadden me to leave it at my back at any time. With your leave, I may travel with you some of the way back East."  
"We ourselves had considered leaving sooner, within the next day or two," Nerithel said.  
Nîfon's head whipped up in shock.  
"But," she continued with a gentle smile in her brother's direction, "all things considered, we will likely depart close to when you do."  
Nîfon relaxed and pulled Nori a little closer.  
"I think that is the best plan," Thorin said definitively. "Our travel will be best in larger numbers, although the road will branch off for some of you well before Erebor. We've got the days and departure worked out, between us dwarrows. Perhaps you would like to join a planning meeting tomorrow or the day after? Beorn? Nerithel?"  
"That would be nice," Nerithel answered.  
Beorn agreed. "Thank you, Thorin."

Kili whispered in Bilbo's ear. "I didn't think they'd be leaving so soon."  
Bilbo whispered back, "I didn't think so, either."

Some part of Bilbo realized his company would head back to their own corners of the world after the wedding, but to hear it discussed was something entirely different. Thorin seemed to have a plan, which also meant he knew when they were going to go. The thought did unpleasant things to Bilbo's insides. 

*****

Kili asked Thorin for a moment alone and they excused themselves. Dís and Fili both watched them go with interest--Dís hoping Kili would say something to soothe Thorin's still-troubled spirit, Fili glad this wedding hadn't torn them wholly apart.

Once they were alone, Thorin said magnanimously, "Congratulations, Kili. You and Bilbo shine like the sun today--marriage suits you."  
"Bilbo didn't shine fully until you joined us. He missed your presence yesterday, though I have my suspicions you didn't miss ours."  
Thorin appeared guilty. "Did Bofur or Fili tell you?"  
Kili shook his head. "They only told me about your attending the party after we left, but to be fair, _everyone_ told me about that."  
Thorin said, "Since you've guessed it, I'll admit I was there. I was going to tell you at some point I didn't miss the wedding, though the opportunity hadn't presented itself, yet. Does Bilbo know?"  
"He had his own suspicions, but they haven't been confirmed. Lucky for you, too. It was very upsetting to Bilbo alone to find out you chose to reveal yourself after we left. I imagine he's already given you quite a talking to?"  
"No," Thorin said, thinking back to Bilbo's earlier visit to his room. "He hadn't brought it up at all."  
"I'm surprised. He was quite heated over it."  
Thorin scoffed, "I would have thought he had plenty to keep him occupied last night without thinking of me."  
"And what does it tell you that he _was_ thinking of you?" Kili pressed. 

Thorin sighed heavily. "It is over for me, Kili. It has been for a while, I suppose, but it does not get more final than this."  
"How can you say that, Thorin? Everyone knows Bilbo still loves you, so how don't you? He nearly wept when I told him you weren't coming, he mentioned you by _name_ in the middle of the wedding ceremony, and he hoped against hope you'd show up at the party. In fact, he was so sure you were there he left to go looking for you. What more do you want?"  
"I want what you have, Kili." Thorin took his hand and ran his thumb over the mithril ring. "A ring and a promise."

*****

After dinner, the quartet walked back to Bag End in the cool night air. Kili sent Fili and Bofur on ahead while he and Bilbo took a detour.

"What did you and Thorin talk about?" Bilbo asked.  
"You."  
Bilbo furrowed his brow. "What about me?"  
Kili wasn't sure how to tell Bilbo about the things Thorin said without inciting fury or a crying jag. "He, uh, said that marriage suited you."  
He conspicuously did not elaborate.  
"What else?" Bilbo said.  
Kili kicked at an imaginary rock.  
"Kee? What else?" 

Kili imagined Bilbo must have picked up that tone of voice from Fili, because he found himself unable to hide the details of the conversation. He carefully told Bilbo about Thorin giving in, and his comment about the ring. As delicately as he could, he also broached the subject of Thorin having been at the wedding after all. 

Bilbo was agog, pacing as he rambled. "He was there? The whole time, he was there? While I wept and called out his name to honor him? When I was named prince? He was there for all of it and didn't sound a peep?"  
Kili took Bilbo's trembling hands to still him. "He didn't know _how_ to be there and be known, Bee. What could he have done? Sat next to Mam and cried himself? What we did broke his heart, but not being there for us would have broken it, too. He didn't know what to do, so he did the best he could. Don't be angry with him."  
Bilbo sucked in deep breaths of air, flapping his arms against his body in frustration. "I'm not angry, I'm just..."  
Kili pulled Bilbo into his arms. "I know, my jewel."

Bilbo didn't know how to describe what he was feeling. He had spent all day wishing for Thorin to be there with them, searching him out fruitlessly in the crowd, only to find out Thorin had been there all along. It was not quite anger, not quite longing, and not quite remorse, but it was a definite pang of something and it tugged insistently at his gut. 

He clung to Kili for several moments before speaking again. "I need to speak with him."  
Kili leaned back to look into Bilbo's eyes. "You should do it now, then. We're running out of tomorrows to wait for."  
Bilbo kissed him gratefully. "Wait up for me?"  
"Of course." 

*****

Thorin answered the tap at his door, finding Bilbo on the other side. Thorin did not have to wonder about the nature of his visit for long. Stalking into the room, without preamble, Bilbo blurted out what was on his mind.

"So you _were_ there for the whole wedding," he accused.  
"Who told you?"  
" _Who told me_? Merciful Eru! How many people knew?"  
"Not many, I assure you, but yes, I was there in secret, watching each step of the way," Thorin admitted guiltily.  
Something about the pained look on Thorin's face doused Bilbo's indignant fire. "I wish you would have let me know."  
"What purpose would it have served?" Thorin asked. "So I could dance with my former intended at his wedding?"  
"No, it was more than that. I had an odd feeling all day, deep inside, like it was somehow wrong to get married without you."  
"Well, you didn't get married without me, not truly."  
Protesting, Bilbo said, "But I did! You weren't there, you weren't standing with me."  
Thorin scoffed, "You would have rather had me for your Pair than your beloved Bo?"  
Frustrated, Bilbo shook his head. "It felt wrong getting married without you there. _With me_."  
Thorin turned, astonished. "You--gods, Bilbo, don't. Don't say this now. Don't do this to me, or to Kili."  
"Don't misunderstand me! I would marry Kili a thousand times with no regrets...but I also wanted-"  
"Don't. Just--please, don't. I cannot let you finish that sentence and keep my sanity."

Silence hung thick in the air between them for several moments afterward. Kili's words repeated in Bilbo's mind: " _We're running out of tomorrows_."

"When do you leave?" Bilbo asked, voice breaking.  
"As Dís said, soon, if we are to stay ahead of the worse weather. It has been a long summer here in the Shire, but who knows what it will be like further East? Erebor is a mountain, after all."  
"I'd much rather you be gone and safe than stay too long and be in danger...oh, but Thorin, now that it comes to it, I'm not ready to say goodbye."  
Bilbo embraced him tightly.  
Thorin held him close, breathing in his hair. "I was never ready, you know, yet you left me time and time again."  
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."  
Thorin tipped Bilbo's face up. "We've both done and said many, many things we both regret. I would like to take so much of it back."  
"Me too," Bilbo said, voice thick with emotion.  
"But not as much as me. Would you truly take back leaving me at Erebor after the battle? Take back courting your prince? Take back this love and companionship you've found?"  
Bilbo shook his head slowly.  
"The life you've made without me, Bilbo...part of why this hurts so desperately is because you've done so well without me. With me, you'd be miserable in my mountain."  
"It is true, I love the life I've built, but I also love you. If I've learned anything by you being here this month, it is that no matter how much we hurt each other, I will never stop loving you."  
Thorin looked at Bilbo adoringly. "More's the pity, then, because I love you, heart to bones."

Bilbo pushed up on tiptoe and tugged against Thorin's neck for a kiss. The dwarf resisted.

"No. You're married now," Thorin said.  
Bilbo looked at Thorin as though he had gone mad.  
Thorin backed out of the embrace, took Bilbo's hands, and kissed them. "If it goes poorly for you, I will always want you, and I will forever consider you my mate even if your union goes well, but you are Kili's husband. We cannot steal secret kisses any longer, regardless of how badly my lips want to taste them."  
"But-"

Thorin shook his head sadly. Wasn't this a heartbreaking change of his fortunes? For so long, it had been him doing the pleading for stolen kisses and heated touches. It was different then, back when he believed he had a chance. 

Gently, Thorin said, "It is late, and I've no doubt you've not rested enough to make up for yesterday. Would you like me to walk you home?"

Bilbo studied Thorin, the subtle suggestion that it was time for Bilbo to leave not lost on him. Upon further examination, it was clear the dwarf hadn't been resting well, either. 

He replied, "No, no point in you getting chilled in the damp night when you've already got your boots off."

Thorin followed Bilbo to the door. He was nearly swayed by the mix of disappointment and longing in Bilbo's face, but he rallied his resistance. 

"Do not doubt I love you," Thorin said.  
Bilbo put on a brave smile, though he felt anything but glad. "Only if you promise me the same."

Thorin closed the door behind Bilbo and flopped on his bed. He reached out for the puzzle box, running his fingers over the details, wishing he was touching Bilbo instead. Gods, how he wanted to claim that kiss! He regretted letting Bilbo go almost as much as he would have regretted letting him stay. How did things with Bilbo manage to keep getting tougher? 

He fell asleep with Bilbo's braid between his fingers, the puzzle box next to him on the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you so much for all the support you consistently give me <3 I live for your love!


	42. The More Things Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He sent you away?"  
> Bilbo nodded.  
> "Oh Bee," Kili said comfortingly. "Come here."
> 
>  
> 
> Kili urged Bilbo to relax into the bed, curling up with him. He held him and kissed his neck softly. 
> 
>  
> 
> "It is strange, being soothed by my new husband because my former intended refused my kiss," Bilbo remarked.  
> "No one said we were typical of other couples. Besides, all I see is you are troubled and I want to make you feel loved. Were my stones and arse not in need of further rest, I would show you just how desired you truly are."  
> 

Fili, Bofur, and Kili were sitting around the dining room table when Bilbo returned to Bag End with his heavy heart.

"Gandalf stopped by. He left you a letter," Kili said. 

While Bilbo read, the three dwarrows waited curiously for his summation of Gandalf's note.  
Said Bilbo, "He's leaving the Shire for a couple days, possibly for the winter if his errand is extended."  
"Really?" Bofur asked glumly. "I had hoped for a more proper goodbye, maybe some words of wisdom before he moved on."  
Kili reassured him. "You may yet get them. You remember from being at Beorn's--sometimes he finishes his business swiftly. I think this was just to let us know not to worry if things were not so swift." 

Bilbo begged off for sleep shortly after, his somber mood not going unnoticed by his housemates. 

*****

When they were alone in their bedroom, Kili noted, "You weren't at Thorin's very long."  
Bilbo undressed for bed. "No," was all he offered.  
"You did find him, didn't you?"  
Bilbo sighed. "I did."  
"You're not being a particularly good gossip, you know," Kili teased gently.  
Bilbo smiled weakly. "I know."  
Kili climbed into bed, propped up the pillows behind him, and leaned against them, sitting with his legs crossed. He patted the space next to him. "Come here and tell me about it instead of making me guess what questions to ask, yeah?"  
Bilbo did as Kili said, leaning against both him and the pillows. "What is there to say?"  
"You went to confront him, and possibly to confess something if I am not mistaken. You've come back much sooner than expected, and with an expression on your face--as Bo would say-- like a cat's arse. If our places were switched, you'd want to know about it."  
"You were right, of course, about me wanting to tell him some things. As you said, Thorin had his reasons for being at the wedding and saying nothing. I think we understand each other better, now. Most of our talks lately have put us on more even ground, come to think of it."  
"None of that sounds like it warrants your sullen tone," Kili said, leading.  
Bilbo shook his head. "As is our habit, it is always when we have some sort of breakthrough that makes me feel closer to Thorin than ever that he wants to withdraw from me."  
"He sent you away?"  
Bilbo nodded.  
"Oh Bee," Kili said comfortingly. "Come here."

Kili urged Bilbo to relax into the bed, curling up with him. He held him and kissed his neck softly. 

"It is strange, being soothed by my new husband because my former intended refused my kiss," Bilbo remarked.  
"No one said we were typical of other couples. Besides, all I see is you are troubled and I want to make you feel loved. Were my stones and arse not in need of further rest, I would show you just how desired you truly are."  
Bilbo smiled. "I love you."  
"No regrets?"  
"I'd marry you again tomorrow," Bilbo promised. 

Holding and kissing Kili for the better part of an hour improved Bilbo's mood greatly. Although his body probably needed another good night's sleep to get over what they put it through last night, his cock was still stiff and his stomach full of fluttery tingles while he pressed against his husband. 

"Bee?"  
"Mmm?"  
"You said something last night about there being feelings involved, jealousies, and so on that make you deny yourself the sorts of pleasures we felt in our Lake Town dream, even though you could have them. What if there were no consequences? No hurt feelings? If we woke up one morning and there were no such things as bonds, what would you want?"  
"You mean, like in my fantasies?"  
"Yes."  
"In my fantasies, I would want it all," Bilbo replied honestly. 

*****

Dís had sent for her sons early the next day to help her gather supplies for her journey East. 

"Isn't Mam capable of doing this herself?" Kili asked. "She's got a whole company of dwarrows heading to Erebor with her, you know."  
Bilbo replied gently, "Think about it. If she has everyone going the same direction as she is and likely preparing on her behalf besides, this is probably not about getting ready to go at all. She might be using the excuse that you and Fee can help her find her way around the Shire or whatever it was she said, but what she really wants is more time with you before she goes."  
"I hadn't thought of it like that. Now I feel rotten for complaining," Kee said.  
"Don't feel rotten. Just enjoy yourselves."  
Kili slipped his arms around Bilbo. "What will you be doing today? Still planning on cutting your dwarvish hair?"  
"I had thought of it. Would it bother you overly much to see it go?"  
Kili shrugged, twining a section around his finger. "I like it, to be sure, but I know caring for it drives you mad. I've always found you handsome, regardless, so do what makes you happy."

Fili tapped on the bedroom door. "Are you ready, Kee?"  
"Presently," Kili replied. He kissed Bilbo. "We'll be back after tea, likely. Dinner at the latest. You don't have to make anything special for tea, but if we're much later, maybe you could start something for dinner?"  
"I think that can be arranged," said Bilbo.

*****

The sky was darkening and threatening rain as Bilbo headed from the barber's back to Bag End. He hoped Dís and the others wouldn't get caught in the obvious downpour to come. The harder chills of October were still ahead of them, but Bilbo knew the rain would not be a warm one. He built himself a fire in the parlor and curled up on the settee with a book.

Bilbo felt strange without his long hair. He hadn't realized how accustomed he had gotten to it. His courting braid remained intact and rested on his shoulder, but the rest of his hair was back to the short waves he wore the very day Gandalf arrived at his door threatening adventure. Three braids he preserved from the cut length lay coiled in his jacket, which was currently hanging on a hook by the door. The barber gave him a queer look when he requested the length be cut in these small sections at the beginning, but all Bilbo needed to do was wink and say, "Bit of a dwarven custom," and there were no odd glances from that point onward. Bilbo smiled to himself at yet another piece of evidence that his dwarven family were being accepted into the community with little prejudice--at least, none anyone would dare express to his face. 

A few chapters into his book, the door opened and he heard Bofur exclaim in the foyer. A bare moment later, Bilbo heard the thrum of heavy rain against the house. 

"I just made it ahead of the deluge," Bofur said, a little winded but not too terribly damp. He shook out of his jacket in front of the fire.  
"Sounds like it. Did you have to run for it?"  
"Not too far, I-" Bofur stopped, finally having a look at Bilbo. "Your hair! You cut it."  
Bilbo reached for a curl self-consciously. "Is it bad?"  
Bofur's look softened. "Not at all."  
Bilbo held his gaze for a moment, mentally shaking himself when he realized it had likely gone on too long.  
He said, "So, ah, did you have a good morning with Bifur? I didn't expect you to beat Kee and Fee back home, honestly."  
"I have a bit of competition for his attention, presently, with good ol' Rorimac hanging about. Took a bit of doing to find Bifur this morning and before it was even lunch, he grew fidgety."  
"I am sorry, Bo," Bilbo said sympathetically. "I know you're trying to spend as much time as you can with him before he goes."  
"Oh, don't be! I'll say, I've not seen him like this in a very long time--and possibly not ever quite to this degree. He was quite a flirtatious one before...well, _before_ , but after, he seemed to give up on that aspect of his life. If he wanted to spend every moment between now and departure with your cousin, I say good for him."  
Bilbo was touched, both for Bifur as well as by Bofur's sentiment toward it all. "You are a kind soul, Bo."  
"Nah," Bofur replied bashfully. "Just sympathetic to the cause, as it were. Did Fee say when they'd be home?"  
"Around tea was the guess, possibly as late as dinner," Bilbo replied.  
"Do you mind if I grab a book and sit with you?"  
"Not at all." 

*****

Bilbo was only a handful of chapters from the end of his book when he felt eyes on him. Turning his head, he saw Bofur still holding his book with one hand and resting his head on the other one, elbow propped against the back of the settee. Bofur was not paying attention to his reading, looking instead at Bilbo with such a gentle fondness, it made the hobbit's stomach flutter.

"What?" Bilbo asked.  
Bofur reached out with his arm across the back of the couch, scooting a bit closer. He toyed with the curls at the back of Bilbo's head. "Your hair like this," he said tenderly, "this is how you looked when first we met."  
"I suppose it is," Bilbo replied, relaxing into Bofur's touch.  
"It makes me," Bofur paused to swallow, "feel things."  
Bofur slowly rubbed the nape of Bilbo's neck.  
Bilbo closed his eyes. "Does it?"  
"Aye." 

Bofur shifted closer, still sitting sideways. With one hand, he continued massaging Bilbo's neck for several moments. Bilbo hummed, letting his head tilt forward.

Bofur set his book aside, leaned in, and spoke low close to Bilbo's ear. "I've been wanting to ask what it was like for you? Kissing Fee?"  
Feeling a fingertip trace over his bottom lip, Bilbo's eyes fluttered open again.  
"Pleasant. More than pleasant, I'm sure you know, and a little frustrating besides," he answered.  
"Frustrating?" Bofur said, still touching Bilbo's lips. He liked to feel them move against his fingertips when Bilbo spoke.  
"It was my free pass, as those things go, and I hoped for him to take deeper liberties--like you did."  
Leaning into Bilbo a little more, Bofur hummed a laugh. "Like me, yeah? Is that a complaint? You surely seemed to be liking it at the time."  
"No complaints. I liked it very much!" Bilbo assured him.  
Bilbo felt Bofur's lips press against his face, close to his ear. "You could have it again, you know. Fee's kiss, my kiss, and not just on your sweet mouth. We would spread kisses all over your bare skin."  
Bilbo sucked in a breath. "Would you?" he whispered.  
"Aye, kisses, nibbles, and caresses, from the top of your honey head to your furred feet, until you panted and whined."  
Bilbo remained facing forward, focusing on Bofur's voice and the warmth of his breath on his ear. Bilbo's voice was barely audible when he asked, "And then?" He felt Bofur's grin.  
"We would move in opposite directions, one of us taking your cock in his mouth while the other licked kisses into yours," Bofur purred.  
A whimper escaped Bilbo. Bofur nibbled at Bilbo's ear before continuing unprompted.  
"Kee would push into you, taking you as only he may, but we would not relent in our pursuit of your pleasure as he did so. We would make it exquisite for you." He kissed Bilbo's cheek again. "We only wait for your assent."

Bilbo had been enjoying Bofur's voice, his touch, and the fantasy he was murmuring a little too much; the last comment pulled Bilbo a few paces back into reality. 

"Bo. I'm married, now," Bilbo argued weakly, using the same point Thorin had used to squeeze his heart the night before.  
Bofur's hand cradled one side of Bilbo's face as he pressed chaste but promising kisses on the other side. "And I'm betrothed, yet your husband and my intended have given their blessing. More than that, Fee wants you himself, and Kee has made no secret how much he would enjoy watching it all transpire."  
Bilbo's eyes were squeezed tight, though his body was traitorously loose and receptive to Bofur's attention.  
"What's going on in this mind of yours, Bee?" Bofur gently turned Bilbo's face toward him, risking a couple kisses along Bilbo's forehead. "What are you thinking about?"  
Bilbo knew he should lie, but he couldn't bring himself to. Eyes still shut, he said, "I'm thinking--were circumstances different--how much I would like to climb into your lap at this moment and kiss you until our lips were swollen. We'd kiss and kiss until Fee and Kee returned, even if it were still yet hours. When they came home, we would lead them to the bedroom, undress, and let things happen as they may...and the pleasures there would not be one-sided, I assure you. I would wish to taste you and your Fee, just as you endeavor to taste me."  
Bofur drew a long breath in through his nose. "Are you going to make me beg? I can, you know. I can beg so sweetly, and I will if that's what it would take to finally touch you as your lover."

Bilbo dared to meet Bofur's gaze. The pure, adoring want there made him quiver. 

Suddenly, Bilbo was in Bofur's lap, kissing, biting, and licking, lewdly grinding against him through their clothes. Bofur's fingers knotted in Bilbo's new, shorter curls, and he fiercely kissed Bilbo back. He dropped a hand down to encourage Bilbo's bottom, canting his own hips up for as much stimulation as he could get from Bilbo's rutting. They went on like this for several moments.

Just as suddenly as it had started, Bilbo abruptly stopped as if in horror, pushing back and off Bofur's lap in nearly one fluid movement. Bofur saw Bilbo's face go from passionately flushed to pale with a worrying quickness.

"Bee?"  
Bilbo's hand came up over his mouth in shock. He met Bofur's look with wide eyes.  
"I'm sorry, Bo," he whispered.

Bilbo ran down the hall and shut his door behind him, leaving Bofur stunned on the settee, lips still damp.

*****

Bofur sat unmoving for several moments, trying to figure out what happened.

*****

Bilbo leaned against his door, panting. How did he get himself into these sorts of messes? He told Kili he had wanted less complications, not more. Aching from Thorin's refusal and impending departure was bad enough without losing his control with Bofur. He panicked for a moment that he might have telltale beard rash on his face from the frenzied kissing, but realized that, beard rash or not, he was likely to tell Kili what had transpired anyway. He had been so close to breaking his own rules: playing without Kee or Fee present, kissing, touching--sweet Yavanna, the touching! For all their lewd observation, he had never touched Bofur in such a sexual way before this. He rubbed a hand over the hardness inside his trousers, wondering if it would go away on its own or if he should help it along in order to begin thinking straight again.

He started at a tap on the door. "Bee? Bilbo? I'm-I'm sorry."  
" _You're_ sorry?" Bilbo asked.  
"Yes, I-" Bofur cleared his throat. "Would you possibly open the door so I can apologize properly?"

Bilbo opened the door. He felt exposed. 

"I am sorry, Bilbo. I don't know what got into me. I did not mean to pressure you so hard, especially after I had promised not to."  
"What? No! You didn't pressure me. I am the one who needs to apologize. I got a bit, erm, carried away by my own desires," Bilbo confessed.  
"If it wasn't something I did, then why did you run?"  
"Because if I stayed--gods, Bo--if I stayed, I might have done everything we said."  
Bofur pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm confused. You wanted to go through with it, so you...ran?"  
"Yes."  
"I don't follow. I want it, Kee wants it, and Fee wants it. I thought we were holding off because some part of you _didn't_ want it, but you just proved you do. You want it so badly I felt you hard against me and trembling in my arms, so why? Why aren't we giving in to this?"

Bilbo bit his lip and looked down at his toes, trying to find a way to explain it so as not to anger Bofur.

"Mahal, this is about Thorin somehow, isn't it?" Bofur guessed.

Bilbo looked at him, his expression leaving little unsaid and verifying Bofur's suspicions with a bare glance. Bofur threw his hands up in frustration.

"Bo," Bilbo began, stepping toward him.  
Bofur shook his head and held up his hands. "I don't want to hear it. I love you, Durin knows, but I simply don't want to hear it."  
"I want to explain," Bilbo replied. "You deserve at least that much."  
"You don't have to. I'll bet you've got things all twined up in your mind that climbing into bed with me is being unfaithful to Thorin somehow, or perhaps you cannot bear to give me what your traditionalist king will not accept from you now that you've made vows. I suppose it is possible it is something I've not yet guessed, but at the end, it all boils down to Thorin still ruling your heart from afar and, honestly, I have no desire to listen to you speak of it when I'm still quaking from your lips on mine. I'm an understanding fellow, but I've got feelings too, you know."

Bilbo stared at Bofur, surprised his would-be lover had guessed some of Bilbo's reasons on his own.

"Oh, Bo, I know you do. It is those feelings I'm trying to protect, I promise."  
Bofur smoothed a hand over his own forehead, one hand on his hip. "Look, I only have myself to blame, right? Starting this, pushing you--you wouldn't have to give me any explanations if I had been a dwarf of my word."  
"I don't blame you," Bilbo insisted.  
"Well, I blame myself enough for the both of us. I'll--I'll leave you to your closed door and your thoughts. I promise I'll remember this the next time I feel my resolve weaken and keep my urges to myself."

Bilbo frowned. The idea that Bofur would stop trying to seduce him was a bit...disappointing. Biting his lip, his gaze flicked across Bofur's face. Bilbo wanted to argue, to explain, to find some way to let Bofur know just how much he hadn't wanted to stop, but he didn't want to exacerbate the situation further. 

"I wasn't hiding from you, you know. I'm not staying back here for the night. I simply...I just needed a moment. I'll probably start baking something for dinner, actually. What, um, what are you going to do?" Bilbo babbled, trying to set things back to normal between them as much as he could.  
Bofur replied honestly, "Well, I was pondering a rather spectacular wank, but I'm finding I don't particularly have the heart for it right now."

Bilbo searched his mind for a reply, but Bofur had already nodded and headed for his room. Sighing, Bilbo made his own way down the hall and started dinner.

*****

Fili, Kili, and Dís cut their wanderings short and walked toward the inn, not caring for the look of the darkening sky.

"Tell me, what do the two of you think of Dwalin?" she asked.  
"Dwalin?" Fili said, flashing a knowing look at his brother. The two of them had talked privately about the relationship that seemed to be growing between Dís and Dwalin, but until now it was based only on their observations.  
Kili shrugged. "For my part, I long admired him. We've had some rougher times recently, though."  
"He is fiercely loyal to Thorin," Fili noted, "and a cunning warrior."  
"I think he might be taking a fancy to me, and I think it is something I will encourage," Dís said hesitantly. "Would that trouble either of you?"  
Fili replied, "You have to live your life the same as we have to live ours, Mam. You've raised us, you've mourned our father, you've kept Thorin in line as much as you could all these years...I'd say now is as good a time as any to start living for yourself."  
"Thank you," she replied gratefully. "And what of you, Kili?"  
"I agree with Fili, though I would hope any animosity Dwalin feels would not alter your love for me."  
Dís pulled Kili close in her arms. "Impossible! Nothing anyone could say or do would make me love you any less. Not Dwalin, not anyone." 

*****

Fili and Kili returned home to a house full of delicious smells. Bilbo was in the kitchen, stirring a pot.

"Just in time," Bilbo said. "I was finishing the last of things and getting ready to simply keep it warm for you."  
"Look at your hair!" Kili exclaimed.  
He closed the distance between them in two steps, sweeping him into a passionate kiss.  
"Kee," Bilbo protested, giggling. "Kee, I'm going to burn something!"  
Kili released him. "I can't help it, you look fantastic!"  
His boiling pot tended to once again, Bilbo said shyly, "Really?"  
Kili put his arms around Bilbo's waist and kissed his head. "Really. Promise."  
Fili agreed. "It looks nice. I had nearly forgotten what you looked like with shorter hair."  
"Thank you," Bilbo replied. He had been unsure how the dwarrows would handle the reality of the hair cut, such things being all but unknown to them--save for times of grave distress.  
"Is Bo home?" Fili asked.  
Bilbo nodded, feeling a bit uncomfortable. "Somewhere. He managed to get home ahead of the downpour, but I've not seen him in a bit. I've been busy trying to keep this sauce from sticking, so I have not paid attention to else but the stove for the past half hour or so."  
Fili darted out of the room to find Bofur.  
"Let him know food is ready," Bilbo called after him.  


*****

Dinner was not as awkward as Bilbo had feared, though both he and Bofur were quiet enough to let Fili and Kili lead most of the conversation with stories of their afternoon. Fili and Kili made mention of Dís asking about Dwalin.

"I think they might wind up courting," Fili said.  
"So if it goes through to its logical conclusion, Dwalin would be your father by marriage?" Bofur said.  
Fili swallowed a forkful of potatoes. "Looks that way."  
Bilbo glanced at Kili in concern. "What does that mean for you?"  
Kili patted Bilbo's arm. "Nothing. Mam promised whatever might be ill between Dwalin and myself over the situation with Thorin would not change how she felt for me. I believe her."

Later, as they cleared dishes, Bilbo asked, "Did either of you, uh, see Thorin today? I looked for him when I went to get my hair cut but he was out."  
"Yes, we saw him on his way to the Thain's office with Dwalin and a couple of the captains from Ered Luin, then again at the inn with Dwalin and Mam," Fili answered.  
Bilbo looked down. "Oh."  
"He asked about you," Kili said gently.  
Bilbo brightened. "He did?"  
Nodding, Kili said, "He said he wanted to stop by to see you today in between his obligations, but he wasn't sure if...well, he wasn't sure."  
"I wish he would have, stubborn dwarf," Bilbo said, fighting the urge to smile.  
"Perhaps we'll go 'round to see him tomorrow," Kili said, kissing Bilbo's cheek.

Bofur's frown was not lost on Fili. 

*****

Fili watched Bofur while they undressed. He thought Bo seemed unusually quiet, particularly for bed time. Once they slid under the covers, Fili scooted close to Bofur, rolled on his side, and propped his head on his hand.

He asked "What is wrong? Don't try to wave it off, because it is obvious you aren't yourself tonight."  
"Something happened today," Bofur sighed. "With Bee."  
"Obviously nothing good, judging from your demeanor."  
"I don't know what got into me. He had that hair, you know? He looked like he did at the beginning of the journey and I started thinking about-" Bofur hesitated, looking at Fili uneasily.  
"You started thinking about the past, when your love for him was known only to you?"  
Bofur nodded. "Remembering that, looking at him today, I had all these, all these _feelings_ , and I-" he faltered again.  
Fili sought Bofur's hand, twined their fingers together, and kissed them. "Go on, you can tell me."

Bofur put his free hand over his eyes, as though not being able to see Fili meant Fili couldn't see him either. 

"I tried to seduce him," he confessed. "I tried to seduce him for the both of us and for a moment--for a moment it seemed as though it had worked, it really did."  
"But then?"  
Bofur sighed wearily. "But then it didn't. I pushed too hard and pushed him away entirely. I was so bloody foolish, and then we got into a bit of an argument about Thorin besides."  
"Bee didn't seem upset at dinner. Perhaps a little more pensive than usual, but it didn't seem to me as though he were offended by your presence."  
"We smoothed it over like we always do, but--oh, I'm sorry, Fee. I've ruined it for each of us, I think."  
Fili pressed a kiss to Bofur's mouth. "Don't be too rough with yourself. We can't lose what we didn't truly have, you know."  
"But I had hoped we would have it one day," Bofur muttered.  
Fili kissed him again. "I know you did," he said soothingly

Bofur gazed up at Fili--patiently listening to him bemoan the loss of a second lover--and realized he was being twice the fool. He was engaged to a gorgeous, adventurous, understanding, and progressive prince, currently naked and pressed into his side. Was he going to spend his night fretting about a married hobbit who still pined for Thorin Oakenshield, or was he going to make desperate love to the beautiful creature currently caressing his chest? 

He cast aside his worries about Bilbo, threaded his fingers in Fili's hair, and pulled him down into a hungry kiss. 

*****

Fili spooned his body behind Bofur when their passion had subsided. With the tenderest of touches, he stroked the length of Bofur's arm.

"You realize that I don't require going to bed with Bilbo and Kili to be happy with you, right?" Fili asked softly.  
"What?"  
"It is simply--well, all this talk, you know--it would be interesting and fun and joyful if it were to be realized, but this is also enough. What we just did, how we are together, the way we drive each other mad...I love it. The thing I love most is you and me together. I don't want you to misunderstand my interest in opening our bed. Anyone else is merely extra for me."  
Bofur furrowed his brow. "Where is this coming from? What would make you say that?"  
"You seemed so distraught about possibly ruining our chances of bedding Bee, to the point of apologizing to me for it. I know you are already experiencing your own heartache from his reticence to open his body to you as he's opened his heart. I want you to at least know I don't need him quite the way you do, to hopefully absolve you of some of this sense of responsibility you seem to feel for being the one to seduce him for us."  
"Fee," Bofur whispered, turning around to face him. "I have told Bee, I've told Kee, I've even told Thorin: you are the one who completes me. If this had happened the other way 'round, if Bee had fallen for me instead of Thorin or Kee first, I would still have had a yearning for you. I love him, I want him, but if it stops here, it stops here. I would feel disappointment and sadness, but I would not live a life unfulfilled when you are the one with whom I share it. Bee adds to my melody, but it is you who are the words to my songs."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your continued support, my dears!


	43. Interlude:  Love That Won't Sit Still

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo's self-examination.

Kili and Bilbo undressed for bed. Rather, Bilbo attempted to get his clothes off while Kili repeatedly put his arms around him, winding his little curls around his index finger and kissing them.

"Remember how you took out my wedding braid because you wanted the Kili you fell in love with? I hadn't anticipated it, but that was the feeling I got when I saw you in the kitchen with your shorter hair. My jewel, in Bag End, looking the way he did when I first realized my future was his for the taking."

Bilbo kissed him intently, touched by his words.

"I had no idea my hair was going to have this effect on people. I might have cut it sooner," Bilbo joked.  
"On people?"  
Bilbo shrugged uncomfortably. "It gave Bo a wave of nostalgia, too."  
"Imagine what Thorin is going to say," Kili remarked. "He'll either love it or hate it."  
Bilbo's only response was a non-committal hum.  
Kili nudged Bilbo into bed, following him under the covers. "When are you going to tell me what's bothering you?"  
"I suppose there's no point in asking you how you've figured that out."  
"None whatsoever," Kili said.  
"I kissed Bo today."  
Kili's interest was piqued. "Oh? And?"

Bilbo sighed, telling Kili about his conversation with Bofur, the naughty turn it took, and Bilbo's moment of abject panic. 

"I must admit, that would have been something for us to come home to, you and Bo tugging us into the bedroom to give us a good seeing to," Kili noted, amused.  
"I'm glad _you_ are seeing the bright side," Bilbo said glumly.  
Kili kissed Bilbo's cheek. "You might be the only one seeing the dark side. The three of us have already made our choices, though we're abiding by yours. Forgive me for saying so, but if your decision is bringing you so much anxiety, maybe it wasn't the right choice for you, either."  
"How can you say that?" Bilbo asked. "You're my husband."  
"I'm your _partner_. We're in this together, and my whole goal in this life is to bring you as much joy as I can."  
"We just got married! It hasn't even been half a week, yet!" Bilbo argued.  
Kili reminded him, "Love doesn't run on a time-table, Bee. Neither does desire."  
Bilbo frowned.  
"I'm not trying to tell you anything new, or push anything. I'm merely pointing out that I can see you suffering. I see Bo suffering. Goodness knows, the whole town sees Thorin suffering. I know your reasons for wanting to keep our intimacy between us two, but how protected are you keeping us when your wants and needs are eating you up inside?"  
"I love you," Bilbo said. "You are my priority, making you feel happy and loved."  
"I'm happy when you're happy," Kili said simply. 

*****

Kili slept soundly next to Bilbo, but Bilbo couldn't sleep. His mind was haunted by Bofur's sad confusion and Thorin's reluctant refusals, Kili's gentle support and Fili's open curiosity.

Bilbo hated upsetting Bofur more than he hated being upset himself. A frown on that usually cheerful face seemed to be against the laws of nature, yet Bilbo had been continually putting one there. He knew Bofur tried so hard to understand Bilbo's reasons, but Bofur couldn't understand Bilbo's pull to Thorin. It was funny, now that Bilbo put some concentration to it, that he had no actual arrangement with Thorin. Thorin had come to their bed, and there had been the backlash when things went sour, but Bilbo was so relieved Thorin wasn't going to mourn him as dead, they never set new parameters. Bilbo had since sought kisses--some were returned, some were not--but it had all been based on Thorin's restraint...not Bilbo's. Conversely, Bofur and Fili were always given limits, limits they were expected to uphold even as Bilbo let Thorin pass them at nearly every turn. No wonder Bofur was confused. For someone who professed to love him, Bilbo realized he had not been very good to him. 

But what of Thorin? He had offered Thorin these opportunities, the ones Bofur would jump at would Bilbo give him his own chance, and Thorin would not accept them. Bilbo would have felt rejected if not for the pain and the pure adoration in Thorin's eyes at each parting. 

Fili's words echoed in Bilbo's head, as they had nearly every day since they were uttered:

" _When it is all said and done, though, the two of you must realize that Thorin has to think about his self-preservation. You and Kili are getting married. You live together. You have sex. You may speak freely of your feelings and your love. Let us ponder what happens if Thorin decides this plan of his is unsustainable. He still goes back to Erebor, loverless. He is alone. He cannot speak freely of his feelings to Bilbo. He does not share your bed. He retains contact with you, perhaps sees you once in a while for a hug and possibly a kiss hello, but that is all. Is it better than assuming you dead? I think yes, for all three of you it is better, but you must remember in all your happiness that if this comes to pass, Thorin still has more pain than joy."_

Bilbo had been trying to do what was right, or what he thought was right. Kili, bless him, did his best to cut through all that in an attempt to find out what Bilbo _wanted_. Was it right to keep Bo, Thorin, and even Kili and Fili hovering on the edge like this? 

Kili's voice joined Fili's in Bilbo's mind. " _Love doesn't run on a time-table, Bee. Neither does desire_."

Perhaps love didn't run on a time-table, but Thorin and the rest of the dwarrows heading East surely were.

The uncertainty he had left everyone with was far more cruel than any truth would be. It was time for Bilbo to be brutally honest with himself: Whom did he love? Whom did he merely desire? What did he want from them, and what was he prepared to promise in return? More importantly, could he keep those promises?

*****

The moonlight had shifted a short way across the floor when Bilbo woke his husband with tender kisses.

Kili roused with a sleepy smile. "There's my Bee," he said, seeing the bright look in Bilbo's eyes.  
"Remember when I promised to tell you first when I figured out what I wanted?" Bilbo asked. "I would like us to discuss some things."

Kili and Bilbo talked deep into the night, pausing no fewer than twice to make love in between illicit, whispered plans. In the morning, Kili went to the forge. That afternoon, Kili and Bilbo visited Oín.

*****

"So who do you want to tell first?" Kili inquired  
Bilbo gazed at Kili soulfully.  
"Thorin it will be, then," Kili said, kissing Bilbo's nose.

After tea, Bilbo insisted on packing a basket with food and drink, a hobbit offering Bilbo knew Thorin would understand.

 _Finding_ Thorin proved to be one of the more difficult tasks of the day, particularly while lugging a heavy basket. Dori told them he last saw Thorin leave with Dwalin on foot. Bilbo and Kili decided to wait outside the inn for their return.

*****

Thorin and Dwalin had been walking and talking about a bunch of nothing in particular. Thorin knew Dwalin was trying to lead up to something, not normally being the sort to remark upon the fairness of the weather unless he was planning on traveling miles that very day. After what seemed to be an age, Dwalin came out with his reason for taking Thorin on this stroll.

"I know Dís is grown and her own person, and she would probably be horrified if she thought I asked anyone's permission when it came to anything to do with her, but you are my battle brother and I count you closer than anyone but Balin. I wanted to tell you I plan to ask Dís to court, and I'm ready to listen if you have objections."  
Thorin clapped Dwalin's shoulder. "Only that you have waited this long."  
Dwalin flashed a grateful smile.  
Thorin asked, "What of Kili and Fili? Do you plan to speak with them, too?"  
Dwalin shook his head. "Like I said, Dís would probably be irritated to know I even spoke to you. I figure any objections the lads have, we will find out soon enough. I've been on fair odds with them since...um, since the incident at the gate...but you and I have been thicker than blood for as long as I can recall."  
Thorin was touched. "It was kind of you to wish to check in with me first, and I promise I will never breathe a word of this to my sister."  
"Thank you," Dwalin said, obviously relieved.

*****

Returning to the inn, Thorin and Dwalin found Bilbo and Kili, nervously waiting for Thorin.

Thorin's breath hitched when Bilbo stood to meet them. He was like an apparition from the past. 

"You look," Thorin motioned to Bilbo's hair while he searched for words. Bilbo reached up subconsciously to fiddle with his own ends.  
"You look different, but the same," Thorin finished. " _Mahal_."  
"Do you dislike it?" Bilbo asked.  
Thorin shook his head, still astonished. "Quite the opposite. I used to long for you to grow your hair out in a more dwarven nature, and I loved it, truly I did, but I must admit I'm shocked to my center at how much seeing you like this moves me. This is the hobbit who joined my quest, who jumped in front of a warg, who spoke to me in the dungeons, and-"  
Thorin had to stop himself before he got too far into Lake Town.  
"And?" Bilbo said.  
Thorin furrowed his brow and pulled in his bottom lip, as though he was in pain. "Lake Town," he murmured.  
"It is Lake Town we have come to discuss today, if you have the heart for it," Kili said kindly.

Suspiciously, Dwalin listened while they asked Thorin's leave for a private conversation. He studied them until they disappeared through the inn's main door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your support <3


	44. There But For The Grace Of You Go I (Part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I miss you terribly," Bilbo started.  
> Thorin wanted to reply he missed him desperately too, but instead he said, "It has only been a day."  
> "When you only have less than a handful left here in the Shire, a day without seeing you seems like far too long," said Bilbo devotedly.  
> Puzzled by Bilbo's tenderness, Thorin glanced up at Kili and back to Bilbo again. "Aside from the necessary preparations for our trip home, I don't particularly like to waste this time together myself, but with our rather delicate situation, what would you have me do?"

Thorin leaned against the table in his room, waiting for Bilbo to speak.

"I miss you terribly," Bilbo started.  
Thorin wanted to reply he desperately missed him too, but instead he said, "It has only been a day."  
"When you only have less than a handful left here in the Shire, a day without seeing you seems like far too long," said Bilbo devotedly.  
Puzzled by Bilbo's tenderness, Thorin glanced up at Kili and back to Bilbo again. "Aside from the necessary preparations for our trip home, I don't particularly wish to miss time together myself, but you and I have a rather delicate situation. What would you have me do?"  
"Not avoid me," Bilbo said.

Thorin sighed heavily. He was weary: weary of everyone else's expectations for how he should behave, weary of hiding his feelings, and weary of trying to understand where he stood with Bilbo anymore. Most of all, he was weary of the constant pain. 

In an attempt to bring Bilbo and Kili quickly to the point of this visit, Thorin said, "Kili said you two wanted to discuss Lake Town?"  
"In a manner of speaking, yes," Bilbo replied. "You and I were happiest in Lake Town, I think. Once we got to the mountain and the gold got to you, we were never the same again. I _miss_ how we were in Lake Town, Thorin. After a great deal of reflection and no small amount of conversations, I have realized I want us to have that again."  
"We were a couple back then," Thorin remarked. "Things have changed. You have a husband standing beside you, listening to you speak these words to me--no doubt with an aching heart."  
Kili spoke. "His feelings for you, his desire, are not unknown to me. I married him knowing full well I was not the only dwarf he adored."  
Bilbo's tone softened. "I love you, Thorin. I can neither stop it nor help it. I want us to have leave to kiss each other, touch each other, and speak soft words. I want to take you to bed and to be taken."  
"But we're not...but you said-" Thorin stuttered, trying to capture a thought.  
Bilbo replied, "I know what I said, and as much as I hated it, it was true at the time. I understand things better now, in many ways. For example, I understand I could fight our bond the rest of my life, but it would always be within me."

Thorin looked to Kili searchingly, hoping for some illumination. It did not seem possible for Bilbo to be saying these things, much less with Kili standing beside him, still wearing his ring. 

Kili's voice was also gentle and affectionate. "I don't want him to always feel the tug and the unfulfilled ache of you. Knowing he would give you up to marry me is his gift to me. Not making him give you up to marry me is my gift to him."  
Bilbo added, "Kili and I had discussed a new arrangement for the three of us before you visited the morning of our awful misunderstanding. It had never occurred to either of us before our play together that we might build a situation wherein I might carry on a relationship with you both."  
"But you went mad when I proposed an arrangement like that!" Thorin responded in frustration.  
Bilbo shook his head. "You had proposed a bond with Kili and I was so jealous I couldn't see straight. I thought I would be left behind. Things are different, now, and what I'm proposing is different as well."  
Thorin argued, "I suppose that might be so, but you have clearly insisted time and again that you and I could not be together, regardless of how much I insisted that we made good companions as friends and lovers combined."  
Bilbo nodded solemnly. "Once, you and I were friends only and it was lovely...then we took our clothes off and it all seemed to change. While we were betrothed, the closer to the mountain we got, the only partnership we had that was worth a damn was our bed partnership. Over time and what I feel, unfortunately, to be necessary hardship, you and I have learned more about each other than I had ever thought possible. While we've been apart, our friendship has deepened into something far more rich. Where I never thought you and I would have common ground, we now stand. I have discussed it with my husband and this is what we've come to."

Bilbo unbuttoned and opened his shirt, revealing a gleaming ring through each of his nipples. Thorin's eyes grew wide and his hand reached out on its own accord. 

Bilbo drew back a bit. "They are new and quite sore, mind, but I requested these of Óin."  
Thorin swallowed hard. "I did not think you could be any more appealing to me, but I was wrong."

Thorin caressed the air around one of Bilbo's nipple rings. Remembering Bilbo's navel ring, he slowly drew his hand back. He had a question he did not wish to ask, but he knew he must.

"Are they symbolic?"  
Bilbo glanced back at Kili, who smiled warmly. Bilbo turned to gaze at Thorin. "I'm pierced one time for each dwarf who has pierced my heart. I wear these rings for the dwarrows with whom I'm in love."  
"But there are three, and you are only married to one," Thorin said suspiciously.  
"Kili is the one to whom I've bound my life and he is truly my partner in all things, but not all connections require a wedding under the Party Tree."  
Thorin attempted to make sense of Bilbo's vague words. "These jewels stand for your lovers, then?"  
"The only lovers I've known thus far are you and Kili," Bilbo replied.  
"Thus far?" Thorin asked, dismayed. "How many more lovers do you need?"  
"Do not be rude, Thorin," Kili warned.  
Thorin reached back out, carefully touching the skin on Bilbo's chest, above his left ring. "So one of the rings through your flesh is for me? Despite of the things I've done?"  
BIlbo smiled lovingly. "I carry your imprint. I could live forever without you or I could finally embrace that fact that you'll always be within me."  
Thorin couldn't help his jealousy, though. He pointed at Bilbo's chest. "Is Bofur the third?"  
"Bofur is indeed the other," Bilbo confirmed.  
Thorin frowned. "Have you bedded him?"  
"Not yet," Bilbo said.  
"Do you mean to?" Thorin asked, voice slightly wavering.

Bilbo knew if they were going to do this, everything had to be out in the open. If it had any chance of working, everyone participating would need make their own choices based on unhidden truth.

"If he would let me," Bilbo replied honestly. "Fili is his partner, so I imagine we would remain unbonded."  
"Kili? Do you hear this?" Thorin asked, incredulously.  
Kili nodded. "I hear it and I plan on watching it. Possibly I'll be making love to Bilbo while it is happening."  
"Are you two insane?" cried Thorin.  
"Is it any more insane than taking you to bed with us?" Bilbo asked.  
Thorin had no answer.  
"Kili and I have discussed this at length. I will have one husband by public ceremony, but my heart and my bed is open to the ones I love...and my body is open to my bondeds. Both of them, if they wish it. Kili will be a part of it, though--by his own choice and not mine this time--his participation with others will have a few limits."  
Thorin was trying to wrap his head around it. "So you're saying...what are you saying?"  
Kili spoke, attempting to make Bilbo's proposal as plain as possible. "We're saying that whenever we are in Erebor or you are in the Shire, we wish to play. We'll both make love to Bilbo, the two of you can mark each other until you can't walk, but only Bilbo marks me. We'll also make more frequent attempts to visit or have you to the Shire so the pull will not be so painful. What say you?"  
"What will Bofur think of this arrangement?" Thorin sniffed.  
"We will make it as plain to him as it is to you. It is our hope he agrees, though he is in no way bound to," Bilbo said.  
"So I have the new husband's permission to make love to you? And possibly the new lover's as well? You seem to have gone to a lot of trouble just to take me back to bed," Thorin noted wryly.  
Bilbo's brow furrowed in concern. He said, "Perhaps Kili has simplified it a bit too much. Thorin, I need you to understand there's more to my plea than sex. I want to have a relationship with you, the kind where we touch and talk freely without worry of what is proper, without leashing our emotions because we do not have leave to speak them. You are still the King of Erebor, and I will be living with Kili in the Shire, but you never need feel truly alone again. When your duty dictates we must be apart, I want you to write me sweetly salacious letters of how it will be when next we meet, and I will similarly express my own longings for you. Understand, Thorin, this is not merely an offer of my body. It is also a promise of my heart." 

"A ring and a promise, Thorin," Kili noted, alluding to their prior conversation.

Thorin sat quietly in thought.

As the silence uncomfortably stretched on, Bilbo grasped Thorin's hands, kneeling before him. Beseechingly, he said, "I married my prince but I still need my king."

With Bilbo's elvish ring in contrast with the darker, more calloused skin on Thorin's fingers, Thorin found it both brightly alluring as well as hateful with its beauty.

Thorin stared at their twined fingers for a long time.


	45. There But For The Grace Of You Go I (Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin's reaction

Bilbo found the increasing silence worrisome and tense.

"Thorin? Thorin, please say something," Bilbo begged.  
Thorin's eyes snapped to Bilbo's and he dropped his hands. "Say something? What would you have me say?"  
The fire flashing in Thorin's eyes caused Bilbo to shrink back, rocking onto his heels. Nevertheless, he pressed on. "Tell me your thoughts."

A grin spread across Thorin's face, but it was far from merry. "My thoughts? I'm trying to wrap my mind around this offer you've presented. I'm thinking about the glorious time I fell in love and thought I was to be married. I'm thinking about how you once shared my bed alone. We were happy in Lake Town, true, but it wasn't from anticipating a future like this. I've only recently made my peace with Kili being a part of your life and was willing at one point to join you before it all went terribly awry. I still would, with very little introspection based on the new conditions of that match, but now I have to accept Bofur, too? How am I supposed to feel about that? Half the time we can't even stand the sight of each other, and now I would have to share you with him? Sharing you with not only my nephew, but also my other nephew's lover, who happens to frequently be my adversary? Think about that, Bilbo. I know hobbits have a different set of sexual sensibilities than dwarrows, and Mahal knows I've certainly felt the benefit of that, but say that to yourself out loud and realize how nonsensical it sounds."

"This situation with all of you is new to me, too," Bilbo argued, still on his knees with an open shirt. "Whether it is against your sensibilities or not, it is dwarrows that have done this to me! I used to blush to purple merely changing shirts in front of people and now I'm getting off on being watched, I'm contemplating multiple lovers, and I've even let you and Kee inside me at the same time. Hobbits may look at love and sex differently, but there is no question that it was you who started this. You awoke this side of me, Thorin. I love Kee, but you were the first to shake the beast inside of me loose. I cannot help he escaped thirsty."

"Yes, what of _Kee_?" Thorin sneered, turning to Kili. "The younger generation always seems to be a bit more progressive than the one that came before, but you are turning dwarven morality upside down! This is your mate, your husband! How is this agreeable to you?"

Kili remained calm. "Perhaps the older generation did not have the opportunity to befriend hobbits during their sexual awakening to know it could be any other way, Thorin. At first, I was jealous of you because of what you meant to Bilbo, but when we three went to bed together, it was thrilling. Watching you touch him, realizing what we could do to him together, and knowing how much he loved it--I cannot lie, I found it exhilarating. I'm not merely acquiescing to his love for you and Bo. I've been anticipating all the ways we can shake him to ruin. Do not doubt this is my desire, too."

Thorin shifted his attention back to Bilbo. "I suppose that works out well for you, Bilbo, that you've chosen a husband in tune with your desires. So, in your arrangement, you have three lovers to hold and care for you at any given moment. That is lovely for you, really it is, but what of me? Bofur? Kili? What are the other two to do while you are otherwise occupied? When you are with another lover, who is holding us when we are scared? When we are lonely? When we are eating our hearts out because someone else is tasting your kisses? Where will it stop? How many lovers are you going to gather through the years? Perhaps you'll color code us to the days of the week, just so you don't get confused!" 

Kili squared his shoulders and spoke with authority. "I warned you once, Thorin. Do not be rude. There was a time--mind overthrown or not--when you had an impulse to take Bilbo's life and somehow, unbelievably, Bilbo still has enough love and forgiveness to come to you with his heart in his hands. He's on his knees, for Valar's sake! I will not have you insult him for this."

Thorin did not like Kili bringing up the painful past. He lashed out, "I am a king, Kili! You are a prince! This is not the way it is done! The royal family is not supposed to be begging for love, much less favors! I mean... _fuck_!"

Thorin paced, running his hand over his forehead in frustration. 

Bilbo stood, his eyes glittering with the wetness of new tears. "I don't have real answers for your questions, Thorin. It was my hope with this new arrangement that you would be less scared and lonely, or that you would have the warmth of my love to surround you even when my arms couldn't. It was my thought that you wouldn't have to eat your heart out ever again, knowing my kisses were yours, too. I had planned for us to whisper vows to each other while we made love--a private marriage of our own. I didn't anticipate Bofur offending you so gravely, but even if I had, I would not have kept him secret. I owe you honesty, if nothing else."

Kili spoke to Thorin again, his tone more gentle. "This may not be how things have been done traditionally, and it may very well be the last time in dwarven history it shall be thus, but this is the way _we_ are doing things--Me, Bilbo, Fili, and Bofur. There is room for you, Thorin, if you wish it."

Thorin sighed deeply. This was it. Instead of dictating his heartbreak, as he had done for months, Bilbo had come to Thorin and laid the decision fully at his feet. Thorin rubbed his beard, shaking his head. 

"I suppose that is your answer, then?" Bilbo asked shakily.

Thorin turned to look at Bilbo and nearly buckled under the weight of their memories: Bilbo's comforting touch in the dungeon, the first time they kissed and made love, their engagement party, their last night in Lake Town, Bilbo risking his life with Smaug for the sake of Thorin's future, Bilbo risking his everything to save them from Thorin's gold sickness, the bitter break-up, stolen kisses, angry words, Bilbo's betrothal to another, one beautiful dance, tearful partings, that hateful elvish ring on Bilbo's hand, Bilbo finding him in the peach grove, Bilbo tending his injury, that gorgeous morning in bed at Bag End, Bilbo nearly being lost to them all, their night of secret love-making, Bilbo's pleas with Thorin not to leave his memory behind, the wedding, the puzzle box, the braid of Bilbo's hair, Bilbo gloriously piercing himself in Thorin's name, Bilbo's confession of his intentions with Bofur...Thorin's highest highs and some of his lowest lows, all tied up in this infuriating, insufferable, incredible hobbit. 

Thorin closed the distance between them. With no regard for the tenderness of his new jewelry, Thorin swept Bilbo into his arms and crashed his mouth into his. The kiss startled Bilbo, and his piercings stung, but he gave as good as he got: lips, tongue, and teeth, both sides brutal and desperate. 

Thorin grasped Bilbo's head with both hands, the newly shorn waves sticking out between his fingers. Pressing their foreheads together, his voice came out as a desperate rasp.  
"I hate you," he said.  
He kissed Bilbo again.  
"I hate you, Bilbo."  
Another kiss.  
"I hate you so much."  
Bilbo felt the wetness of tears on his cheek, but he could not tell if they were his or Thorin's.  
"I surrender," Thorin whispered, cradling Bilbo's face and pressing his own against it. "I surrender."

With the kissing turning frantic once again, Thorin slipped Bilbo's shirt off his shoulders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you ever loved someone who made you crazy? Your thinking brain knows you shouldn't, but your heart and body tug you deeper down the rabbit hole.
> 
> How do y'all feel about next chapter being a smut chapter? :D :D :D


	46. Unbreak My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex

Thorin continued frantically kissing Bilbo after the shirt had been discarded, running his fingers over Bilbo's skin. His heart thudded so hard inside him, he thought Bilbo might actually be able to feel it through his fingertips. The bitter tears had stopped, but he continued to feel the frustration, conflict, and relief that brought them. He hated to love this, to swell with such passion, to love Bilbo with such depth that he would agree such a thing as Bilbo was suggesting. No, not suggesting-- _proposing_ , complete with a ring! Pausing to dwell on that detail, Thorin felt a giddiness bubble up through the self-contempt. For the first time in a long time, perhaps Thorin could allow himself to hope these kisses--given, not stolen--might be about more than sex, more than desire, more than simply soothing the tug of their bond. This could finally be about love again. Thorin had one foot off the ledge, considering, anticipating, preparing to let himself fall.

Bilbo trembled under Thorin's searching hands, humming into their kiss. It had almost gone horribly wrong. Bilbo had confronted his internal foes and had been honest with himself at long last, only to be faced with the serious chance Thorin might reject him. Of course he had realized there had been a chance Thorin would refuse this offer, but Thorin's initial and outright bitterness had surprised and frightened him. Bilbo had felt as though he could weep when Thorin kissed him and gave in.

Kili stood careful and still, watching Bilbo and Thorin kiss. He didn't wish to spook Thorin by moving in too soon after what had clearly been an internal struggle, but that was not the only reason he hung back. This moment was different than the last time the three of them had a liaison together...even the air was charged with this new, pulsing energy. Although Kili had used the word "play" to simplify things as he explained them to Thorin, he knew this was far from it. He could tell by the way Thorin and Bilbo would pause to look at each other that they knew it, too.

Though Kili hesitated in his spot, Thorin and Bilbo passionately undressed each other, frequently not bothering to separate their lips as they went. Rather quickly, Bilbo was fully naked and Thorin's layers had been stripped to his waist. Bilbo bade him sit on the bed, knelt on the floor, and unlaced his boots for removal. Thorin made a face.

"Ugh, once again we are dealing with my odoriferous boots," Thorin groused.  
"And once again, I'm telling you I don't mind. I can't get your trousers off without dealing with these first," Bilbo replied.

With boots and trousers gone, Bilbo climbed into Thorin's lap at the end of the bed. Holding each other bare and warm, they sighed soft moans while their hands smoothed over long-missed skin.

"Dear heart," Bilbo called to Kili. "You are neither naked nor touching anyone. I believe we need to fix that."

Kili stripped off of his clothes and moved in behind Bilbo, kissing his back. His hands trailed down low, sliding over Thorin's own where they cupped Bilbo's bottom. Kili laced his fingers in between Thorin's, both of them massaging the hobbit's flesh together. Bilbo tipped his head back, inviting Kili's kiss. While Kili's tongue explored Bilbo's mouth, Thorin pressed kisses of his own down Bilbo's neck, moving on to mark wet paths on the skin around each tender, fresh piercing.

"It is taking all my will not to pull these in between my lips," Thorin said. "Gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous." 

Bilbo squirmed in Thorin's lap, seeking friction for his cock and finding it against Thorin's own. The obscene sound it drew from Thorin sent shivers down to Bilbo's core. 

"This time, I want you to mark me first," Bilbo murmured in Thorin's ear.  
Thorin groaned at the thought--first in delight, then in frustration. He whispered against Bilbo's skin, "I don't have any slick."  
"Kee?" Bilbo called.  
Kili grinned, reaching over and producing a bottle of oil from the food basket.  
Taken aback, Thorin asked, "You expected this?"  
Bilbo rubbed his nose affectionately against Thorin's. "Much like you on our first night together, I had _hoped_. If things had not gone well, you could have always used it for eating."  
When Thorin took the bottle from Kili's hand, Bilbo informed him, "You'll only need to slick yourself. I'm ready."  
Thorin glanced up at him, surprised and puzzled.  
"We prepared me before we arrived." Bilbo informed him mischievously. "Let's just say I hoped quite a lot."

He pulled Thorin's mouth to his and kissed him hungrily. 

Thorin let the bottle fall against his thigh. Although Bilbo coming to visit slick and ready for him aroused his desire, it also aroused his suspicion. The lovely tremors in his stomach were joined by something uglier as he questioned Bilbo's motives.

"Stop," Thorin murmured.  
Bilbo's lips continued to move against his.  
" _Stop_ ," Thorin said more firmly. He broke forcefully broke the kiss by holding Bilbo's face still. "Just...stop."

Kili froze in mid-caress the moment he heard Thorin's tone. 

Bilbo's heart dipped down to his stomach. He blinked in confusion. What had gone wrong?

Thorin steadily held Bilbo's gaze as he spoke. "I can't go through losing you again, Bilbo. If this is just to scratch a physical itch, or to assuage some manner of guilt before I leave, you can say so--I'm naked and quite ready to see this through to its pleasurable conclusion. Simply tell me honestly and I can handle it with my eyes open and accepting it for what it is worth. What I cannot take is to let myself believe again, to lay my heart and body at your feet in the wake of such glorious hope, only for you to change your mind later. I couldn't bear it a second time, I simply couldn't. Tell me now if, if-" a catch in his throat cut off his thought.  
Bilbo replied, "I'll tell you now how much I love you, how I've missed you, how I'm not sure quite how we are going to work this out over the coming months and years but how much I need to."  
Thorin felt the heat of embarrassment well up along with the threat of tears. "You once held me and promised you adored me, promised you'd be with me, but then I spent months without you, thinking I'd lost you forever. I know--gods, I _know_ \--some of that was my very own doing, but I'm-" he floundered, looking for the right words, voice cracking when he spoke again. "Don't--don't make me love you again, not if this isn't going to be real."  
"I've pierced my skin to show you how I feel," Bilbo gently reminded him. "What more can I do to assuage your fears? If it will take your name tattooed on my skin, I'll do it."  
"You would do that? For me?" Thorin asked incredulously.  
"If you needed it."  
"I don't. I simply need you."  
"Then have me," Bilbo whispered.  
Thorin's joy overtook his reticence, but left him no less tearful. Bilbo embraced him.  
"I'm sure you don't understand it when I scarcely do, but marrying Kili has helped me realize how much I adore you. I'm not sure I have ever loved either of you more. I need both of you in my life, and I can only hope the both of you need me, too."  
Thorin exhaled in fraught relief. "Sometimes I think you have no idea."

Bilbo plucked the bottle from its resting spot, handing it to Thorin.  
"What about Kili?" Thorin asked.  
"Don't worry about me," Kili responded quietly, having been captivated by the tender drama unfolding before him. "While you two get going, I'll borrow that bottle and catch myself up."  
Thorin's face contorted in confusion as to Kili's meaning, though Bilbo distracted him by grinding against him. 

"Come _on_ , Thorin. I promise you, Kee won't let himself be left out."  
Successfully distracted by the friction in his lap, Thorin acquiesced to Bilbo's demands and slicked himself. Bilbo adjusted himself, hovering over Thorin's prick.

"You wish it like this? Sitting here?" Thorin said.  
Bilbo guided Thorin against him and pushed back. He grunted through the first breach before replying, "Might as well, since this is where we are."

Thorin sucked in a gasp, willing himself to stay still while Bilbo sank down around him, bit by bit.

"That's it," Bilbo breathed once he was fully impaled. "How fitting that today would be the day we would reunite, my love."  
Thorin wrapped his arms around Bilbo, mindful this time of his tender chest. He rolled his hips, making Bilbo shudder. "How so?"  
"Do you not remember? A year ago, you made love to me for the very first time."  
"Oh...oh, Bilbo," Thorin murmured, pulling him into a kiss.

Bilbo's tongue slipped from his mouth to Thorin's while his body undulated. Excitement growing, Bilbo tried to move faster and faster but Thorin held him, using his grip to maneuver Bilbo's body for slower, deeper thrusts.

Thorin peered around Bilbo, curious as to what Kili might be doing during their passionate homecoming. He got an eyeful of Kili stroking himself lazily with one hand and fucking himself with the other. 

"Durin's beard, Kili!" Thorin rasped.  
Interested, Bilbo turned his head.  
"Merciful Eru!" Bilbo moaned. "I married well, didn't I? Do you have yourself stretched, Kee?"  
Kili wet his lower lip, then closed his eyes and bit it as a ripple of pleasure went through him. "I think I do. What do you suppose you'll do about it?"  
"Fuck you until we all come," Bilbo countered.  
"Mahal," Thorin swore lustily. "I'd almost forgotten what you two were like."  
Bilbo kissed his nose. "No you didn't," he said sweetly but knowingly.

With some reluctance, Bilbo pulled himself from Thorin to readjust on the bed. Thorin caught Kili's wrist before he crawled on the bed past him. He searched Kili's face for signs of hesitation, concern, or ill feelings.

"I'm okay," Kili softly assured him. "Better than okay."

Thorin released him with a slight nod. Kili leaned in, pressing his lips to Thorin's before laying himself down for Bilbo. It was unexpected and Thorin glanced to Bilbo, mildly panicked. Instead of a tantrum, Bilbo had a kiss for Thorin as well. 

Turning his attention to Kili, Bilbo positioned him on his back with his legs up and spread. He crawled over the top of him, licking obscenely into his mouth. Kissing across his face, Bilbo whispered into his ear. "Thank you for this."

Bilbo sat back on his heels to rub a little oil on his cock, then shifted forward to ease into Kili, pulling shuddering sighs from both of them.  
"Thorin?" Bilbo said over his shoulder.

Thorin moved in between Bilbo's legs, spreading his own to account for height. He pushed forward and Bilbo cried out, panting and mewling with his head tossed back in delight. Thorin slipped his arms around Bilbo's waist, peppering affection across his shoulders. When Bilbo moved, one of Thorin's hands dropped to Kili's thigh, holding onto it for leverage. Falling into a slow, easy rhythm, Kili and Thorin rocked Bilbo between them. Other than pleasured moans and the occasional sigh of a name, few words were spoken. 

The part of Bilbo that felt out of sorts after the wedding settled into a pleasant niche deep within him. Without a conscience to fight, without worrying about Kili's hurt feelings or leading Thorin on, he felt an odd sort of peace in the midst of all this pleasure. Could it have truly been this easy? Was this what he had needed all along?

Kili's mouth was smiling even as it was open and gasping. Bilbo was gorgeous when he was getting blissfully wrecked by two of the dwarrows he adored. Kili saw no jealousy (even when he and Thorin had been grasping and touching each other's limbs) and no nervousness. He simply saw his jewel, lost in happy pleasure, and giving plenty of his own, besides. 

Bilbo vocalized a strangled sound. "I cannot fight it much longer. The two of you are the sweetest sin like this," he gasped.  
"Then don't fight," Thorin's voice said low and dirty next to his ear. "I'll fill you while you fill him."

Bilbo groaned as Thorin picked up his pace. A squeeze and a tap to Kili's thigh was all it took for Kili to match him with each roll of his hips, encouraging Bilbo from his end.

Reaching for Kili's prick, Bilbo was surprised to have his hand brushed away. Shaking his head, Kili insisted, "Inside you."

Bilbo swore, torn between curving forward or arching back when his orgasm hit him hard. Limbs momentarily paralyzed, he let go inside Kili in waves. Thorin muttered filthy swears in Khuzdul with each stroke as he raced toward his own finish. Thorin held Bilbo with both hands, puffing quick breaths against his back and coming with a shout. Bilbo could not describe the relief he felt when Thorin's bond renewed beneath his skin. There for a little while, he had been quite sure he would never feel it again.

Thorin and Bilbo carefully backed out of their partners. Kili urged Bilbo tenderly onto his back as Thorin lay beside them, still catching his breath. Instead of chasing his pleasure once he pushed inside Bilbo, Kili moved languidly, lifting Bilbo's hand and kissing his finger tips, kissing his knee, and tracing gentle circles around his new jewelry. 

"Seeing you adorned so is captivating," Kili murmured. "I should like to run a fine chain from one side to the next and make love in the sunlight, watching it all glint gorgeously against your skin...or perhaps in the moonlight, where both you and they would glow."  
"Kee," Bilbo breathed. "I'm so in love with you."  
Kili gripped Bilbo more tightly, picking up speed. "Oh, my jewel, I love you, too."

Thorin openly watched them, listening to their tender words. For a moment, he felt the familiar old envy and discomfort, but it quickly dissipated, leaving behind a warmish feeling instead. He was happy Bilbo was appreciated by Kili, who in turn was adored by Bilbo, and--although they were mad for each other--here Thorin was with the both of them, Bilbo's words of love for him still softly echoing in his ears. 

Kili huffed out sounds with every breath, rolling quicker and quicker until he let out one final keen, shuddering and spilling into Bilbo. Once the pulsing subsided, Kili slipped out of Bilbo, crouching to lay his head adoringly on Bilbo's stomach. He felt Bilbo's body twitch, then two more jerks right after. Glancing up, he saw Bilbo's hand over his mouth. Bilbo jerked under him again.

"Bee, are you crying?" Kili asked with concern, pushing himself up on his arms to investigate.

Thorin had been relaxing as Kili and Bilbo had been settling, but his eyes flew open at Kili's words. He rolled over quickly, softly grasping Bilbo's arm. "Gods, you are," he said, heart sinking.  
Bilbo shook his head, squeezing wetness from his eyes. "Not like that, I swear. It's just--"  
He looked from Thorin to Kili with sweet, watery glances. "You're both here," he indicated his torso, "bonds alive, marked, and swirling within me. Last time, I didn't know what to do with it or what it meant, though it felt quite, quite lovely. Now that we've decided, it is a little overwhelming. I love you, Thorin, despite it all, and I love you, Kee, _because_ of it all."  
Thorin exhaled, cradling and kissing Bilbo's hand. "I thought you might have had misgivings."  
Bilbo rolled over to his side, propping himself up on an elbow. "No! Oh, not at all. I promised you before we began and I meant it."  
"I was a bit worried myself," Kili said, rolling to spoon against Bilbo's back. He kissed his shoulder. "I thought perhaps I had pressured you too much."  
" _You_ pressured _him_?" Thorin asked.  
Kili nodded. "I don't know how much you could see at your distance, but living with him made it obvious he was making himself miserable denying himself what his heart clearly desired."  
"Kee has been very encouraging, sometimes annoyingly so," Bilbo added. "But no, you did not pressure me into this decision. This is what I want--what I need."  
Thorin shook his head incredulously. "I didn't know."  
Kili teased, "Well, you'd better start paying attention. He's yours, too."  
Thorin gazed into Bilbo's eyes. "And I'm his, but that is hardly news. I've always been his."

Bilbo leaned forward, threading a hand into Thorin's hair and tugging him forward into a needy clash of lips and tongue. Thorin scooted closer, snaking an arm around Bilbo's back. Kili stroked that same arm as he sucked a claiming mark into Bilbo's neck. Bilbo gasped into Thorin's mouth, moaning through the rest of it. Thorin pulled away to see a fair-sized love bite blooming across Bilbo's skin.

"The other side is yours," Kili said silkily.

Thorin's eyes met Kili's. Although Bilbo and Kili had already made clear their feelings on the arrangement, this gesture spoke volumes on its own. Thorin glanced to Bilbo for permission; Bilbo sensuously offered his neck to him. Thorin licked and tasted the skin before he marred it with the evidence of his claim. Bilbo stretched and hummed, caressing and pressing against Thorin's body. Thorin felt Bilbo growing hard against him once again.

"I believe you have some reclaiming of your own to do," Thorin said.

Bilbo's tongue darted out, straining to part the seam of Thorin's lips. Thorin opened for him and kissed him passionately while Kili kissed Bilbo's neck and rubbed his thigh. Bilbo lolled his head back, mouth open for Kili to have his taste. Thorin leaned in to nip at Bilbo's neck, moving up his jawline, and paused. Feeling bold, he moved in, wetly sharing the kiss with Bilbo and Kili at the same time. It was exhilarating and intimate, kissing them both and enjoying the hot slickness of two tongues against his. All too soon the moment shifted, Bilbo climbed back, and encouraged Thorin to roll on his stomach. Bilbo straddled his waist to feel Thorin's back under his fingers, resting his bottom against Thorin's. Thorin purred as Bilbo touched him. When Bilbo leaned forward to kiss his shoulder blades, Thorin felt a cooling, damp spot at the base of his spine.

"I think I'm wet," he noted.  
Bilbo nipped at his ear. "Likely because I have both of my lovers' come dribbling out of my hole and onto you."  
"Fuck, Bee!" Kili said. "I'm going to be stiff again in no time." He stroked himself absently to punctuate his point.  
Flirtatiously, Thorin asked Bilbo, "How does it feel to be so fully fucked that you simply ooze?"  
He felt movement against his back before a slick finger slid down the cleft of his buttocks. "How about we find out?" Bilbo suggested wickedly. 

Carefully, Bilbo pushed a digit inside. Thorin inhaled sharply. Deliberate and thoughtful, Bilbo moved within him, slicking and stretching him well before increasing the intensity. The further Bilbo went to prepare him, the more Thorin gasped and wound the blanket in his hand. Bilbo bit and sucked his mark into Thorin's neck while he moved, driving him wild. Thorin shifted back onto Bilbo's fingers, rubbing his renewed erection against the fabric beneath him. 

"You seem ready. Are you ready?" Bilbo teased.  
Thorin grunted. "Yes!"  
"Kee?"  
Still not fully recovered from his recent orgasm, Kili replied, "I'm going to watch and wank for now, but perhaps I'll be along shortly."

Thorin buried his face in the pillow. Kili was going to watch him get fucked and wank to it. It was perverse, it was decadent, and it made his cock _throb_.

"In that case, trade me places," Bilbo said.  
Thorin sat up. "Trade how?"  
"Impale yourself on me. _Ride_ me," drawled Bilbo.  
Thorin and Kili both moaned in a chorus of arousal.

Bilbo lay on the bed and Thorin straddled him. Next to them, Kili relaxed on his back while idly touching himself. Bilbo helped guide himself, holding his prick still for Thorin to lower onto. Thorin worked down around him, steadying with hands on Bilbo's torso until he sat flush against his hips. His eyes fluttered open and locked with Bilbo's. 

Encouraging slow swells of movement, Bilbo asked, "How is it?"  
"Exquisite," Thorin breathed. 

Thorin had been atop Bilbo many times--once even in front of Kili--but he felt deliciously bashful when being watched by the both of them. It put him in mind of his last night in Lake Town recalling how Bilbo brazenly demanded Thorin open himself up and come for him. The mere memory made his face hot even as his cock flexed. Rising and falling, Bilbo's moans and Kili's quickening breaths encouraged him. The more he let go, the more his audience vocalized their appreciation. His attention flicked to Kili, whose eyes were running from Thorin's body to Bilbo's, taking in as much as he could. Thorin silenced the small voice admonishing him for such degenerate behavior and threw his head back in rapture, rubbing his body and putting on a better show.

Kili watched Thorin move over Bilbo--shy at first, but blossoming as the closeness and lust overtook him. Though he still had no wish to be marked by Thorin, he had been enjoying the touch, sound, and sight of him thus far. He knew Fili would disapprove, but the shame only fueled his desire as he stroked himself. 

Bilbo watched in enchantment as Thorin came alive above him, writhing and growling. Even though he had already come once, he had to fight the urge to finish too soon. Kili was not helping, groaning and pulling at his own cock. Bilbo saw Thorin peek over, Kili's attention only seeming to encourage him. Expecting jealousy, Bilbo felt only desire. Kili rolled against him, kissing him filthy-sloppy.

" _Mahal_. That's it--fuck him," Kili begged salaciously.  
Thorin stifled a cry.  
Bilbo wasn't going to hold off much longer. He reached up to touch Thorin, but Thorin shook his head and pulled his hand away.  
"I'm not as young as the two of you. I have to pace myself if I'm to keep up," he said. "This time is for you."  
"Do you know how hot it is watching you make him squirm?" Kili said next to Bilbo's ear, still touching himself. "He wants it, Bee. He wants you to fuck him until you shout. Gods, fuck him 'til you _scream_."

Thorin's eyes nearly rolled back in his head listening to Kili's filthy pleas. His earlier hesitation of taking the two of them to bed seemed pure foolishness now. Truly, having a spectator to this particular session seemed twice the fun.

"Please, please," Thorin said breathlessly. The pleasure crackled through him as he drove himself against Bilbo repeatedly on his sweetest spot. "I can't go another moment not feeling this bond. _Fuck_ , don't make me wait any longer."  
"Just like that," Kili said, watching Bilbo struggle for both breath and rhythm as his orgasm built. "I know that look. Come for me, come for _him_ , show him. Show him this is for real, let him feel it."  
"Almost," Bilbo rasped. He was riding the edge, not quite able to tumble over.  
"Give...need..." Thorin choked out. 

Thorin thought for a moment he might be able to come without being wanked, but the telltale lightning under his skin told him Bilbo was already reaching his apex. He closed his eyes and let himself be lost instead in the glorious relief of their bond's renewal.

Bilbo held Thorin's hips still and hard, digging in his fingers and arching back, his release giving his whole body spasms with each pulse. He mewled and gulped air, snapping his hips through the end, chasing every last sensation. Blinking back to clarity, he saw Thorin above him, gorgeous and perhaps a little perplexed. 

Thorin scooted off Bilbo, who sat up and met him with a kiss. Kili had stopped stroking himself to sit in the spot Bilbo vacated. 

"That was..." Thorin trailed off.  
Agreed Bilbo, "Mmm, quite."

Thorin pulled Bilbo down into his arms, laying the width of the bed. Kili snuggled up against Bilbo, his erection pressed against Bilbo's bottom but making no move to try to relieve it. 

After several moments, Thorin cleared his throat. "Kili, how did you figure out Bilbo could reach an orgasm without being touched?"  
Kili raised his head to glance at Thorin before relaxing again. "It wasn't long after our first time, maybe the next day? Um, are you sure you want to hear this?"  
"I just watched you have each other not an hour ago," Thorin countered. "I will be fine."  
"Well, I had just finished inside him and the concept was pretty new to me, you know. I saw myself leaking out of him and wanted to touch. That led to more fascination and-"  
"-And Kee fingered me out of my mind," Bilbo finished. "He was poking and prodding and it felt _torturous_. I was begging him to stop, begging him not to stop, and at the moment I didn't think I could stand anymore, it simply happened."  
"Were you surprised?" Thorin asked.  
"Yes," Kili and Bilbo replied.  
There was a moment's hesitation before Thorin spoke again. "So, were--were you able to respond in kind?"  
"How do you mean?" asked Bilbo.  
"Can Kili--can a dwarf--have that experience, too? Come unaided?" Thorin asked.  
"Oh yes," Kili drawled, rutting against Bilbo's arse to punctuate his point.  
"Do you think...do you think you could see if I could, too?" Thorin requested shyly.  
Bilbo kissed Thorin. "I would love that."  
Thorin caressed Bilbo's face. "I've been curious since that time we did it to you, and here a moment ago, when we were making love, I thought I might be experiencing something similar but I wasn't sure what it was."  
"It doesn't happen every time," Bilbo cautioned, "though I will say there are nights when Kili won't let me give in and he'll be right. The day the two of you split me open was one of those, if you'll recall."  
"So how will I know if I will be able to today?" Thorin asked.  
Bilbo grabbed the oil bottle, leaving Thorin width-wise on the bed, but adjusting him backwards until his head was at the edge of the bed. "Well, we'll just have to see, won't we? I suppose if you are still begging at nightfall, maybe I'll use my mouth on you."  
Thorin swore under his breath. "Durin's bloody axe."  
Before rolling away, Kili pressed his lips to Thorin's ear. He whispered, "Aren't we a couple lucky bastards?" 

Settling comfortably into position, Thorin had to agree with Bilbo that this was a fitting day to reunite. A fitting way, too: Once again, he was on his back, completely vulnerable, and about to try something new. There was something appealing about making himself vulnerable for Bilbo Baggins, though, and for Kili too. He was getting better at trusting them with his more delicate moments. 

Bilbo tucked a pillow under Thorin's hips and slicked his fingers. With oil and semen already in Thorin's arse, Bilbo almost did not need to bother; two fingers easily slipped in to their root. He started with subtle movements, but Thorin was already wound somewhat tightly from having just been taken with no release. In no time at all, he was thrashing and reaching out for a pillow to muffle his cries. Bilbo smiled wickedly--he had waited a long time to see Thorin finish like this. Movement on the bed and an unmistakable feeling behind him made Bilbo falter; he cried out and pitched forward onto his other hand. 

Thorin pulled the pillow away from his face. "What is it?"  
Bilbo rocked forward, grunting. "Kee is fucking me."

Thorin threw his head back with a growl. Moments later, Bilbo moved within him again. The secondary vibration of Kili thrusting into Bilbo he felt only made it better. Soon, the feeling from being on top of Bilbo returned, tightening within him. The sensation wound tighter and tighter--" _This is it,_ " he thought--then nothing...and everything. He was stuck, riding along the exciting, unbearable thread that would normally precede his orgasm, but unable to finish. It was glory and agony at once. He tried to position the pillow in a way he could shout into it and rub against it simultaneously. 

"Oh no you don't," Bilbo chided, throwing it on the floor.  
Thorin's reply was distressed. "I-I can't get there like this. Like you said, may--oh _gods_ \--maybe this is one of those times."  
Bilbo's chuckle sounded outright evil to Thorin's ears, even as he himself was getting fucked. "Oh you don't think? I might know a little better than you."  
"No, I'm telling you," Thorin whined. "I can't. I'm stuck."

Thorin covered his mouth, crying out a muffled string of " _ohs_ " before swallowing the last one in a pleasured gulp. With his own sensitivity, Bilbo could barely stand what Kili was doing to him but he wasn't about to give in. 

Kili rolled in and out of Bilbo, fast until he felt too close, then in long, lazy pumps. He had been drawing it out for himself since Bilbo had been under Thorin, edging himself for a harder orgasm while Bilbo was otherwise occupied. He didn't begrudge Thorin Bilbo's attention, though. Indeed, he funneled his arousal from the things they did to each other into pleasing himself. 

Leaning forward, he said to Bilbo, "You cruel little thing. Perhaps you shouldn't have taken his pillow away. The whole inn will hear this."  
Bilbo's voice sounded dangerous and heated. "Let them."  
Kili drawled, "What a naughty hobbit you are. I think we both might have to come hard for you."  
Bilbo sassed back, "That's what I'm waiting for."  
Teasingly, Kili called, "How are you doing over there, Thorin?"  
"F-fuck y-ou," Thorin crooned, feet scrabbling on the bed.  
Kili giggled. "Doing the fucking at the moment, actually. Specifically, fucking our husband."

Thorin arched in delight, his anguished ecstasy somehow escalating further with Kili's words. Bilbo kept at him but the pleasure dam simply would not give. Thorin squirmed, trying to alleviate some of the pressure, to escape Bilbo's fingers, but Bilbo went with him, holding him down with his free hand to cease further retreat. Thorin's head was now off the side of the bed, his hair spilling to the floor. He vaguely realized he was urging, praying, beseeching for Bilbo to do something, anything, to liberate him from this sweet torture.

"Touch me, suck me, _gods_ ," he heard himself say at the end of his litany.  
Patiently, Bilbo replied, "Just like this, I promise you, you don't know how close you are."

Thorin pulled at his own hair and howled. He forced his abdomen in and out, trying to rub his cock with his own stomach, but it wasn't enough. The tension inside him grew, the pleasure biting more than pleasing, the strain on his muscles starting to ache.

"C'mon, love. You are gorgeous like this. Come for me, my king," Bilbo murmured lustily.  
Kili moved faster inside Bilbo, sensing the end. Bilbo grunted.  
"I can't, I can't, I can't," Thorin chanted brokenly. His tone pitched higher as he continued, "Too much, too much, fuck, fuck, _fuck_!" 

Bilbo's prick twitched from Kili's onslaught and the erotic beauty of Thorin falling to pieces before his very eyes. He knew he couldn't rally in time, but this was going to be a magnificent conclusion for the other two. 

Thorin was reduced to tearless sobbing, no pillow to help muffle his cries. He could feel the puddle forming under the head of his cock and cooling on his skin. He clutched and wound the blankets in his fists, his body strung tight. The next few moments hung, seemingly suspended in time, just ahead of the wave that could rescue him with blessed abatement. 

*****

Dwalin shuffled up the stairs. He realized Thorin had not recovered from his heartbreak, necessarily, but today had been his best day since the wedding until Bilbo showed up. Dwalin had even managed to get a few laughs out of him. Dwalin could tell the moment Thorin had seen Bilbo that he was instantly assaulted with sad memories, memories of a life that would now never be. Bilbo and Kili were the last things Thorin needed today, especially with the mention of Lake Town.

Thorin missing a few of the hobbits' invented meals was not usually a cause for alarm, but given the unexpected visitors of the afternoon, it concerned Dwalin that it was now past dinner and Thorin had not joined them. Dwalin hadn't seen Bilbo or Kili leave, but he also had had distractions of his own in the form of a beautiful dwarrowdam who required attention--a dwarrowdam who sat at a dinner table wondering where her brother was. A noise stopped Dwalin just outside Thorin's door. Was Thorin crying? It sounded as though Thorin was weeping and muttering. Softly, Dwalin tapped at the door. "Thorin?" No reply. Dwalin thought perhaps Thorin couldn't hear him over his own sobs. 

Dwalin tested the knob, pushing the door open. The sight that greeted him was pure debauchery: 

-Thorin, head off the side the bed, naked and writhing.  
-Bilbo, bent on his knees and one hand, the other hand buried under Thorin, with his fingers (Dwalin guessed) inside a most intimate place.  
-Kili, behind Bilbo, obviously fucking him. 

A fraction of a moment after Dwalin saw them (and was seen in return), Thorin's orgasm erupted from his cock, twitching and untouched, unloading arc after arc of semen onto his stomach. Dwalin sucked in a breath and left as quickly as he arrived, Thorin's cries of orgasmic rapture ringing down the stairs after him. 

*****

Thorin had hardly registered Dwalin's appearance when he felt the whip of his orgasm unfurl and snap, giving him one of the most intense sexual experiences of his life thus far. It went on, delightfully aching--almost hurting at times--pulsing from his groin outward. His entire core clenched with each wave, going and going, until his muscles relaxed at last. He continued to tremble well after he finished.

Dwalin's arrival and exit thrilled Kili to his marrow--he loved being seen fucking Bilbo. He grabbed Bilbo's waist and pounded hard, allowing himself to come at last. His self-teasing was well-rewarded.

"I'm coming," he panted. "I'm coming so hard, Bee."

Bilbo was pushed forward even as he eased his fingers out of a shaking Thorin, being clutched by an equally shaking Kili in the throes of his own passion. When Kili eventually released him, Bilbo crawled alongside Thorin and helped him back up on the bed. He gazed at Thorin lovingly and stroked his hair.

"Are you okay?" Bilbo asked.  
Thorin nodded. "I'm not sure my organs are still inside my skin, but I think I'm okay."  
Bilbo giggled.  
Thorin exhaled heavily. "That was the most fantastic awful experience I've ever had."  
"Oh?" Bilbo said. "Do you think you might ever want to do it again?"  
"Absolutely."  
Bilbo dipped in to kiss Thorin's forehead.  
Awed, Thorin continued, "It was incredible, intimate--I could do nothing but trust you, but it was so difficult to trust you when I was spun out like that. You knew, though, you knew and you brought me there. Simply incredible. You two have been doing this together since you became lovers?"  
"Not every night or anything, but on occasion," Bilbo said.  
Thorin shook his head. "No wonder."  
"No wonder what?"  
"No wonder you two are...how you _are_. I scarcely can believe I stood a chance."  
Kili landed next to them with a soft thump against the bed. "As lovely as this is, is no one going to mention Dwalin?"  
"That was real?" Thorin said. "I thought maybe I'd conjured it along with the flashing light and rainbows I saw when I finally came."  
"No, that was real," Bilbo confirmed. "I figured one thing at a time. You being okay after such intensity seemed more important than talking about Dwalin's accidental peek."  
Like a satisfied cat, Kili stretched out on his back, putting his arms behind his head. "That was so fucking hot, getting caught like that."  
Bilbo smirked. Of course Kili liked it. "What kind of trouble do you think it will cause?" he asked Thorin.  
Replied Thorin, "Trouble enough, I suppose. Some explanation, at any rate. I'm not worried about it, though."  
"You're not? I thought you'd be having a fit," Bilbo said.  
Thorin shrugged. "It is my fault for not locking the door, but otherwise we were in my room, in private, doing private things. It is no one's business but whose business we make it. It is his own fault for seeing it."  
"I suppose so," Bilbo sighed.  
"Don't worry about it," Thorin said, kissing Bilbo's hand. "I'll do any smoothing over that needs to be done. Right now, I have company I am enjoying immensely and no desire to fret about Dwalin of all people."  
"And we have food to think about, too," Kili said.  
Bilbo sat up, brightening. "Yes, I didn't even get to explain the basket! We have food and fruit and cake and wine."  
Thorin flashed Bilbo his special smile. "You brought me food?"  
Bilbo smiled back bashfully. "Yes."  
Thorin sat up and pressed a kiss to Bilbo's lips before hopping off the bed to investigate the contents of the basket. "Clever hobbit! A true love offering--one that allows us to remain naked through dinner," he gushed. 

*****

Night settling in, they cleaned up, lit candles, and Bilbo, Kili, and Thorin had a picnic on the floor of Thorin's room in the inn.

"I meant to make pumpkin bread, but I hadn't the time to prepare it," Bilbo said.  
Kili chimed in, "He even made us stop at the market, but the vendor had sold out and gone already."  
"That is okay. We'll have it another time," Thorin said, finishing his last bite. 

While Bilbo finished eating, Thorin carded through the hair on Bilbo's calves and feet as he once observed Kili doing in Erebor. Bilbo responded with a contented hum and closed eyes as he ate. Thorin glanced at Kili and received a wink in return. 

"Ah, I need to stop eating before I get too full for anything else fun tonight," Bilbo said, popping the last bite in his mouth.  
"I rather like you full," Thorin said, crawling toward him. He rubbed a hand across Bilbo's stomach and dropped a tender kiss to his shoulder. "You were always appealing to me, but I must confess I prefer your belly soft and fed. It was all I could do to let you leave Erebor when you felt like nothing more than a reed in my arms."  
Bilbo laughed, replying, "Soft and fed is one thing, unable to perform is another."  
Thorin nosed at Bilbo's ear, his breath warm against the skin. "So, you anticipate another _performance_ tonight?"  
"I was hoping," Bilbo admitted.  
Kili nodded. "As was I."

Thorin stood, holding out his hands to help both Kili and Bilbo off the floor. He pulled them close, holding each one against him in the crook of an arm. "That makes three of us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I live for your lovely comments. Thank you all!


	47. Gratuitious Sex Scene(s)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pretty much
> 
> Plus bonus drunk Bo & Fee

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was _trying_ to get to the next plot point, but then 5300+ words of smut happened.

Bofur and Fili found a note on the table reading not to wait for dinner.

"Wonder where they are off to tonight?" Fili said.  
Bofur shrugged. "We still have a lot of company in town who are are due to leave out soon. I'd imagine they are probably making the most of time left. Bifur said it could be as soon as three days when I saw him this afternoon."  
"It is tough getting in the last visits," remarked Fili. "People are preparing for the journey or splitting off together."  
"Like Bifur and Rorimac?"  
"Sure, but don't forget Nori and the elves, or Ori and his hobbits, Óin and Dori are acting really odd, disappearing with each other all the time now, and Óin I know spent some of the morning with Bilbo because Beorn said he saw them. Gandalf has gone off to who knows where and Thorin himself has been a little scarce since the wedding, too."  
"There's simply a flurry of activity right now," Bofur assured him. "We knew it would come. When it is over, we'll be lonely for it."  
"It seems weird for Bag End to be empty for dinner without a party somewhere. I think I'm already lonely for it."  
Bofur kissed Fili's nose. "Well, let's go out looking for a party then, then. We'll see if we can catch up with Beorn and try to get him drunk. I'm going to miss that lug when he's gone, I can promise you." 

*****

Thorin held Bilbo in the crook of one arm, Kili in the other, the warmth of both bodies against his skin. It seemed at first to be a natural move, but now he was not sure what to do. When it had been just two of them, Thorin had been a powerful, confident lover...therefore being unsure about this annoyed him. Noting Bilbo and Kili both regarding him with curiosity, Thorin made a decision.

Bilbo only needed a gentle press at his spine to tip his head back and part his lips for a kiss. Though Thorin kissed Bilbo for a long time, Kili did not back out of his embrace, thus giving Thorin the courage to make his next move. Slipping his hand up to cup Kili's neck, he urged him forward and claimed his mouth. Thorin had kissed Kili deeply before, but back then it was less about the moment and more about coercion. Kili was tentative but willing, letting Thorin lead. Thorin felt the familiar burn of shame flare up and firmly pushed it aside. He would have to let it go if he was accepting Bilbo's proposal. He couldn't spend the next twenty years in bed trying to avoid Kili entirely due to shared blood. Besides, if Thorin could manage to ignore the obvious, Kili was proving to be an enjoyable addition to their bedroom activities. 

Kili relaxed in Thorin's arms, letting his tongue inside and slicking across it with his own. He brought his hand up and tangled his fingers in Thorin's hair, encouraging him. Kissing someone other than Bilbo seemed strange, though he had been kissed by others a handful of times since Bilbo first touched his lips. Thorin's kiss carried a different hint of possession than Bilbo's did, more forceful but less demanding. Kili hoped Bilbo wasn't getting jealous or worried that Kili would run off with Thorin again. This experience was incredibly pleasurable--Thorin was skilled with the use of his mouth and the forbidden nature of it all fed Kili's desire--but it was no replacement for Bilbo. Thorin's kiss stirred his flesh, but Bilbo kissed down to the soul. 

Bilbo knew this moment would come--it would almost have to if they were going to move forward like this--and he had planned for it. All things considered, he thought it would be sooner. Other than the soft peck before they began and Thorin adding his tongue to their kiss after, Kili and Thorin hadn't done much in the way of touching. Bilbo and Kili spent considerable time the night before discussing Kili's desires and limits in this area as well as Bilbo's own. Considerably more secure after the blowout that occurred over Kili and Thorin's last lover's kiss, Bilbo was able to watch without the terrible clench in his stomach. In fact, this time around it did different things to his stomach entirely--erotic, fluttery things. Pleasantly, he found he would not be averse to watching a bit more--not at all.

Parting, Thorin nudged Kili and Bilbo toward the bed. 

*****

"Dwalin! You look rattled! Is Thorin okay?" Dís stood and moved as to leave the dining table. "Does he need me?"  
Dwalin stayed her, helping her sit again. "No, no he is fine. He is, ah, having, um, dinner with Bilbo tonight. He might be quite a while, so fret not."  
"Whatever is wrong with you, then? You look as though you've just encountered a spirit!" she demanded.  
"I stumbled on the stairs and only barely caught myself," he lied smoothly. "It is nothing but adrenaline, my poppet."  
"I can't help but worry," she coquetted. "I don't want us to end when we've scarcely begun. You've not so much as been up my petticoat yet."  
"Dís!" Dwalin hissed, looking around to see if she was heard. Luckily, the others had moved on after dinner.  
Dís giggled. "I had no idea you were this shy, not after the stories I've heard."  
Dwalin kissed her forehead. "I've told you--you're different."  
Her answering smile made his heart beat faster. He leaned in to whisper, "Though, in proper time, we will make our own stories--stories solely for our pleasure."  
She turned quickly to meet his eyes, the wicked twinkle there making her loath to wait.

*****

As if by silent agreement, Thorin and Kili went to work on Bilbo's body the moment his back touched the blanket. Each one, working from his own side, covered Bilbo with cherishing kisses. When they reached the middle, they simply traded places. Both of them cruelly avoided Bilbo's hardening prick. Kili encouraged one of Bilbo's knees to bend, kissing the underside, as Thorin spoke low in Bilbo's ear.

"What would you ask of your lovers next? What do you _want_?"  
"I-oh!-I don't rightly know. My bum is a bit tender from today's attention," Bilbo replied.  
"Mm, but this cock seems to be interested in more activity," Kili said, lightly brushing a lone fingertip up the length.  
Bilbo pulled in his breath in a hiss.  
"Yes it does," Thorin agreed sensuously. "Perhaps it would like to fuck? Maybe a mouth?"  
"Or an arse?" Kili added.  
"...Yes," Bilbo said.  
Caressing Bilbo's pierced navel, Kili asked, "Which one?"  
"Either...both," was Bilbo's answer.  
"Well, it seems you have but one cock and four willing holes for it to fill," Thorin noted.  
Kili crawled up Bilbo's side to whisper in the other ear. "And four willing hands."  
Thorin's fingers stroked Bilbo from shoulder to hip. "What will it be?"

Bilbo rolled toward Thorin, pushing him on his back. "I think I would like to have your arse," he said, kissing him passionately. He crawled over to Kili, licking and sucking on his nipple ring. "And yours."  
"Both? Greedy Bee," Kili said with a smirk.  
"Get on all fours, please," Bilbo said, kneeing his way to where the oil bottle rolled.  
"Who?" Thorin asked.  
"Both of you. Side by side, if you will."  
"What are you planning?" Kili asked.

Bilbo didn't answer, instead insinuating himself between Kili's knees, knocking one to the side to lower his height. He pressed two slick fingers in, teasing "Are you still ready for me?" 

Kili gripped the pillow, eyes closed tightly, head turned to the side, humming in the affirmative while Bilbo massaged him inside. 

"That's my Kee," Bilbo whispered, rubbing the small of Kili's back. He pushed his cock against his hole, watching it get swallowed in with a gasp from them both. His head fell forward as he slid in and out. "Lovely."

Kili felt Bilbo shift, laying more weight on him, changing his angle _just so_. His eyes flew open at the rush of new sensation and met Thorin's. Bilbo's thrusts rocked Kili's body and sweet sounds escaped Kili's mouth, but his eyes did not leave Thorin's. It carried its own intimacy, Kili's pleasure and Thorin's anticipation, tied with understanding in the air between them. 

Slowly, lovingly, Bilbo withdrew. Kissing Kili on the small of his back, he moved behind Thorin, adding slick to himself before nudging forward. It was Thorin's turn to bury his head in the pillow.

"I _know_ you're still open and ready for me, you beautiful thing," Bilbo said. "Tell me if you're too tender for this."  
After the first few strokes, Thorin groaned with delight. "No, this--this is almost better than you claiming me before, were it likely."

Kili closed his eyes, listening to the obscene, wet noises and love sounds coming from the coupling next to him. Bilbo hadn't been inside him long before moving on to Thorin and, although he wasn't exactly jealous, he felt the loss. Bilbo had left him in the midst of such pleasure, empty, cold, and wanting. Thorin's noises of delight were growing frantic, the bed rocking harder, but then it slowed and Thorin whimpered. Kili felt the bed dip and Bilbo pushed at him again. 

"Are you doing what I think you're doing?" Kili asked, surprised.  
Bilbo answered simply, "I cannot fuck you both at once, you know."  
Thorin stuttered, "But he, but you just, but my...and it will be in his...merciful Valar, you are a filthy one, Bilbo Baggins! Were you always this filthy and memory merely fails?"  
Bilbo giggled--Kili felt it inside him--and replied, "At the risk of offense, I will tell you Kili has debauched me considerably over the course of our union, and having another lover in bed only serves to make it worse."

Thorin's mind danced over the things they had done--and things un-thought of, yet to be done--and had to excitedly concede the point. 

For many moments, not even the jolts of passion Bilbo was sending through him could budge the smile from Kili's face. 

Bilbo went through another round of taking turns at the dwarrows before he stopped for a rest against Thorin's back. 

"I did not consider the ending when I started this," Bilbo admitted. "Where do I finish? Whom do I mark? I'd hate for it to seem like I have a favorite when you have both brought me such joy like this."  
"We spoke of mouths earlier, yet ours are neglected," Thorin said. "Perhaps, maybe, one of us could suck you while you pleasured the other in kind? No one is lacking in that case."  
Bilbo chuckled flirtatiously. "My, my, my, Thorin. It seems I'm not the only one growing more obscene. That is a naughty suggestion, indeed." 

Bilbo pulled away, giving Kili a swat on the bottom to let him know it was time to move. The three of them considered the situation, Bilbo eventually deciding to sit against the headboard so one lover could stand for oral serivce and the other could give it unimpeded. 

"If you don't mind, I would like to be the one bringing you off," Thorin said, somewhat formally. "It has been a long time and I cannot deny it is a craving that has kept me up some nights."  
"Hm, so I would have to endure merely fucking Bilbo's mouth. Let me think," Kili joked.  
Grinning, Bilbo said, "Shut up and c'mere." He muffled a sound of approval when Kili stuffed his cock in his mouth. 

Kili felt Bilbo grip him at the base of his prick to prevent choking, a signal between the two that Kili was free to have his mouth as vigorously as he would like. The gesture always shot tingles up his spine. A deeper, more desperate groan of Bilbo's vibrated Kili from tip to stones, he guessed from Thorin swallowing down Bilbo. It added a dimension to the sensations and Kili hoped Thorin would continue.

"Fuck, Thorin, don't stop. Whatever you are doing to him, keep doing it."

Thorin had Bilbo deep in his mouth, moving in fractions to keep him engulfed as much as possible. He could hear Bilbo's delight, even with his own mouth full of Kili. Kili's demands to keep going inspired him. Soon, Bilbo's moans became desperate, throaty whimpers and he scratched at Thorin's shoulders with his free hand. On an outstroke to catch his breath, Thorin glanced up. He did not see much of Bilbo, but Kili's stones swung as he roughly fucked Bilbo's face. Thorin rubbed himself against the bed as he went at Bilbo with a renewed vigor. 

Kili broke first, holding himself up against the wall with one hand and clutching Bilbo's head with the other. He pushed in deep, spilling as far down his throat as he could reach with Bilbo's grip. Bilbo continued moving his tongue, slurping, and sucking at him until Kili moved away. Bilbo's tongue chased after him until there was nothing there but air. 

The sound of Kili's climax drove Thorin onward. Bilbo's attention no longer divided, Thorin had him coming scant moments after Kili had retreated. Thorin greedily swallowed each hot spurt until there were no more. He did not release him, though. Bilbo squirmed and Thorin held him down at the hips until he cried out, begging for Thorin to relent. With a final lick, Thorin rolled off Bilbo and onto his back. He was astonished how quickly Bilbo and Kili were on him, touching him, kissing his chest, neck and limbs. Kili was careful to avoid anything below his waist, but he kissed and licked fingers, stroked his stomach, and nuzzled his neck. Bilbo concentrated on Thorin's hips, the sensitive area inside his thighs, and teased his cock with strokes of both fingertips and tongue. Thorin hadn't expected to be the center of attention, figuring that to be Bilbo's role, but it was heavenly to be showered with such delicious affections. 

"Thorin," Kili murmured against his skin, "Tell me about the first time you and Bilbo made love."

Bilbo stopped what he was doing to look at Kili, but the dwarf's eyes were closed and he was kissing Thorin's chest. Bilbo's eyes darted to Thorin's and he raised his eyebrows in question.

Thorin said, "W-why do you ask?"  
"Because I know Bilbo won't tell me," Kili said.  
"What makes you think I will?"  
"Because you want me to know, somewhere deep inside, just like I _want_ to know," Kili said.

Bilbo bore a look as though he were shrugging with his face and went back to teasing licks along Thorin's length.

Thorin's brow furrowed. "I don't...how would I even start?"  
"When did you decide you wanted to seduce him?" asked Kili. "Or did he seduce you?"  
"I suppose it was mutual. We had grown closer in the dungeon, you know. That was where Bilbo-" Thorin stopped to shudder a breath of gratification from the mouths on his body. "-he told me about hobbit consummation. My mind was bent on it. I decided once we had our freedom and a scrap of privacy, I wanted to kiss him, touch him, undress him and sample that skin."  
He paused, moaning, stroking over Kili's hair with one hand and cradling Bilbo's jaw with the other. 

Bilbo wanted to take Thorin in, to indulge him, to _finish_ him, but he had grown curious. He didn't want Thorin incapacitated for this story, not yet. 

"So we escaped, landed in Lake Town," prodded Kili.  
Thorin nodded. "We had the feast, you know, and I had already started making plans for after. When the Master mentioned a house of many rooms, I knew I had to get Bilbo in mine. I thought if we resumed our late night talks, this time without bars, that tenderness would surely follow."  
Kili stopped. "Is that why you were so forceful about being the one to carry him back to the inn?"  
"Yes."  
"Wait, what's this?" Bilbo said, also stopping to join the conversation.  
"You had rather adorably fallen asleep in my embrace," Kili said. "When it was time to leave, I lifted you into my arms. You were so gone you did not stir. Thorin was insistent, demanding I hand you over. He said something about you being our savior and his responsibility and, to be honest, I was a little tipsy, so I gave you up without much of a thought as to what other reason he would have for it. I came to regret it later."  
"You did that?" Bilbo asked Thorin.  
Thorin sounded sheepish. "To be honest, I didn't think Kili would do anything but set you down at the house. I feared Bofur would be the one to tuck you down in his room before I could, thus changing my fortunes for the worse." He scowled, past memories of Bofur clouding his otherwise good mood.

Noticing Thorin's erection was wilting, Bilbo pulled the tip in his mouth and sucked in deep, causing Thorin to flinch in startled pleasure. When Thorin was back to a satisfying hardness, Bilbo resumed his long licks. 

Entreated Bilbo, "Please do go on. I'm finding this most enlightening, especially considering I was there."  
"So giddy was I at the thought of the possibilities before us, I had not taken into account your lack of sleep and sheer exhaustion, to say nothing of your involuntary cold water bath as you shuttled along on the barrels. Discovering you were not only tired but sick as well, I put my plans on hold."  
"When did you come to the conclusion that you wanted to mark him?" Kili asked, tucking into Thorin's side with his head on his chest. He played with Thorin's chest hair while Thorin answered.  
"I think the germ of the idea sprouted when Bilbo told me it was possible, but it took Bilbo getting sick for me to realize I might not have time to dance around the subject with him. We had a dangerous journey--one we all could have died on many times already at that point--and a dragon was still ahead of us. Bilbo's illness frightened me, especially on the second day when he could scarcely feed himself. He was hallucinating when I came back from town. It was terrifying."  
Bilbo, too, had paused again in his pursuit to listen, cradling Thorin's thigh with his head on his hip. "But then I got better."  
Thorin smiled. "You did, and the relief that spread through me was immense. I stopped denying my feelings, stopped making excuses, and figured whether we would have 5 days or 50 years, I had to confess my heart to you and hope for the best. I decided I would take as much as you would give me as soon as you were able to give it, including a betrothal and an imprint, should your race be able to receive it. I was so elated you reciprocated my feelings, I didn't think to ask if making love was as monumental to your people as it was to mine. When you told me you had excluded that pleasure from your youthful dalliances, that you had saved it for something more meaningful, I just assumed...well, never mind. It all worked out as it needed to, I suppose."  
Sensing he was losing him to melancholy, Kili renewed his questioning. "So Bilbo got better and you two made your love confessions?"  
"That and more," Bilbo said, also eager to lighten the mood. "Thorin had oil at the ready, don't you know."  
"As a precautionary measure! What about you?" Thorin countered.  
He tapped Kili's shoulder to get his attention and whispered conspiratorially, "He did not have on a stitch under his trousers."  
"Dori didn't give me any!" Bilbo argued back.  
"Well, it didn't matter for long," Thorin said. "We were naked fairly quickly after we admitted our feelings, anyhow."  
"And?" Kili said, pressing for details.  
"And Bilbo licked me open, fingered me wider, and fucked me into the mattress."  
Kili squirmed, undulating into Thorin's side. "By the maker! And you loved it, of course, getting fucked."  
"Oh, but he did not stop there. He got curious halfway through and made me try it all out on him before either of us had even finished," Thorin said.  
"Is that true?" Kili giggled.  
Bilbo explained, "I had never done any of that before, mind, and seeing how it made him react made me want it. I'm sure it wasn't a hardship."  
"Not at all. It was the most amazing thing, made even better by you wanting it so badly in return. It didn't take me any time at all to burst. If I live to be 900, I'll never, ever forget what it felt like to finish inside you for the first time. I've told you before, I still recall it sometimes when I'm touching myself." Thorin closed his eyes dreamily, lost in the memory for a moment. He felt Bilbo tenderly rubbing his thigh.  
Continuing the story for Kili, he said, "I was still reeling from all that when Bilbo had me sit on top of him so he could mark me in kind. He fucked me fast, fucked me until he owned me, fucked me until he came inside me. I've been his ever since."  
Bilbo climbed up to claim a passionate kiss. "It is quite something hearing you recall that."  
"Indeed," Kili said. "Thank you for sharing."  
"So, how about you?" Thorin said.  
Kili glanced up. "How about me what?"  
"Whom seduced whom?"

Bilbo and Kili shared a knowing smile as Bilbo kissed his way back down to Thorin's cock, now dripping with arousal, no doubt from recalling their first sex. 

Kili brazenly reached down and deliberately brushed his fingertips along Thorin's shaft, purring, "I did, of course."

Thorin hissed in shocked surprise, though Kili's hand did not linger. It was quickly replaced by Bilbo's mouth, hot perfection around his cock. By his technique, Thorin could tell Bilbo was set on a goal this time around. He could feel Kili's breath and lips move against his ear as he salaciously told his tale. 

"I begged him to fuck me the very first time I kissed him," Kili said. "I begged him to have my virgin hole, to leave his come inside me, but he wouldn't give in. I didn't stop wanting, though. After the battle, I continued to beg. I'd beg as I licked him open, I'd beg as he sucked my prick like he's sucking yours now, I'd beg as we were soaping each other down in the bath, but nothing. Do you know he wouldn't even let me have his fingers? Wouldn't take mine either."

Kili talking about coming and begging and arseholes coupled with Bilbo enthusiastically sucking him was doing confusing, wild things to Thorin's insides. His rational mind told him he should be upset--he knew damn well Kili's begging to be fucked the first time happened in Lake Town in the midst of Thorin's betrothal--but they were here, together, and suddenly their pleasures were his, his pleasures were theirs, and the stories melded together, culminating in the three of them sucking, _fucking_ , and not letting each other leave this room until they were fully satisfied. He arched into the sensation, Kili's fingers searing into his chest and stomach as he caressed him. 

Bilbo bobbed on Thorin's cock, listening to Kili's prick-teasing with burning ears. It sounded so lewd the way Kili was summarizing it--obviously Kili's intention--filling Bilbo with an odd mix of shame, pride, and arousal.

"Do you know we weren't even speaking to each other the night he finally relented?" Kili continued. "We were fighting over you. He almost went after you when you left Beorn's. He sat outside thinking about it until he was near frozen. I think he was considering running after you on one of the ponies."

Thorin waited for Bilbo to dispute him, but no argument was made. It served to push Thorin closer to his end. 

"He woke me up, thrusting his way through a dirty dream. I made him tell me about it, we made up, and he finally showed me what all the fuss was about. Oh, you should have seen how carefully and sweetly he readied me before he fucked me in half! Honestly, it felt like I was going to split in two from having that cock inside me."

Thorin shook his head, squirming and shivering as Bilbo drew him nearer to orgasm. He didn't want to know this, yet he wanted Kili to go on and on. What had these two done to him?

Kili sensed Thorin was about to come, dropping his voice dangerously to tease out the rest. "You were first, though. You practically taught him everything he did to me. We fucked so much, Thorin, that first day, fucked so much we could barely walk. You remember something like that yourself? Your last night in Lake Town, maybe? Do you remember the feeling of come sliding down your leg? Do you recall Bilbo gagging and crying through his orgasms because you made him come so much it hurt-"

Thorin arched back with a wail, coming in Bilbo's mouth so hard he thought he'd never stop spasming. Bilbo swallowed, licked, and lapped until Thorin pushed him back. Wiping the saliva from his chin, he scooted up to settle in Thorin's empty side. 

"The mouth on you, Kili! Bloody Void, your gift for obscenity rivals only Bilbo himself," Thorin said.  
"It was all true," Kili promised.  
Thorin remarked, "The way you describe it, I don't know if I can compete."  
"So don't bother competing. I think we've proven beyond a doubt it is much better when we work together," Kili said.  
Bilbo noted, "I adore when you work together. We get into the most exquisite trouble that way."  
"You two are going to incapacitate me," Thorin joked affectionately. "Truly, you both should be ashamed of yourselves."  
"As should you," Bilbo replied. "Though, I have to admit I'm about sucked and fucked out for the night."  
Kili agreed, "Yeah, isn't it great?"  
Thorin sighed happily. Yes it was. 

Only...

What happens now?

He remembered the last time they were together like this and the sex was done. He had longed to be held and comforted through the night, a naked version of the night they spent with him in Erebor. Though he understood the separation then, tonight the thought of them getting dressed and leaving him was almost unbearable to ponder. 

The night was waning. Though not yet late, it was late enough for a hobbit and a dwarf who spent most of the prior night plotting today's temptations--particularly after rather spectacularly carrying out said plans. Bilbo heard the deepening of Kili's breathing and thought he might not be far behind him. He propped his head up on his hand and looked at Thorin, who seemed to be studying the ceiling. 

"Are you tired?" Bilbo asked.  
Thorin trailed his fingertips across Bilbo's collarbone. "I'm starting to feel it now that the rush is wearing off."  
"I was going to offer to go, to let you have your rest, but I...I want to stay, if you'd let me, let us. I think a night of sleeping bare in your arms would help this seem less like a dream to me," Bilbo confessed.  
"Like a dream?"  
Bilbo nodded. "I've missed us, the way we used to lay together and how good it felt. I know we just made love and all that, but it would help giving our relationship another try seem more real if we could sleep like we used to. It is silly I know but-"  
"Shh," Thorin said, placing a finger on Bilbo's lips. "It is not silly. I have been laying here dreading the moment you decided to get dressed and go home. What about Kili, though?"  
"Let's ask. Kee?" Bilbo called softly, caressing his cheek with the back of his hand. "Kee?"  
Kili snuffled and grumbled, "What?  
"Do you want to get dressed and go back home, or do you want to stay the night here?"  
"Mmph," Kili answered sleepily. "It is cold out there and Thorin's bed is warm. Let's stay here tonight if he'll let us. I'd like a blanket though."  
Bilbo laughed. "Okay, dear heart. Budge up, we'll get under the covers."

Kili acquiesced, half-asleep and cranky, settling down against Thorin's chest again once the covers were loose. When Bilbo resumed his spot on the other side, Thorin tugged up the blanket and put an arm around both of them. Kili's hand felt around restlessly, closing around Bilbo's once it was found. He sighed contentedly, making Bilbo and Thorin both smile.

" _Just like Erebor_ ," Thorin thought. " _Minus the heartbreak_." 

*****

Fili and Bofur stumbled home, drunk and happy from a night carousing with Beorn, Nerithel, and Daerbes. Still a fan of good gossip, Fili learned Nori and Nîfon might be growing more serious by the day. Nerithel confided she thought her brother might be making plans beyond their departure.

_"Quite serious business, for an elf," she said.  
"More serious for Nori," Bofur quipped. "Normally, that lad never plans past the next meal."_

Bag End was still, quiet, and chilly when they arrived home. No one had been there that night to light the fires. Bofur checked the master bedroom only to find it empty. 

"N'body," Bofur said. 

Fili pulled him into a sloppy kiss. It turned into several sloppy kisses as they clumsily fell over each other's feet to get to their room. Once there, it took several tries to get naked, but they were determined. Bofur pulled Fili onto the bed. 

"None's home, we can, we can be loud," he slurred  
Fili pointed out, "They like t'listen, we're always loud."  
"We'll b'extra, extra loud," Bofur said, then fuzzed a wet laugh between closed lips, as though he had just said the funniest thing in the world. 

Bofur rolled on top of Fili, bending down to kiss him but more falling on him, instead. Fili didn't care, moaning suggestively into the clinch. 

"Wanna fuck you," Bofur said.  
Fili shook his head. "We're too drunk. You'll hurt me."  
"Will not," Bofur insisted. "Wan' fuck you."

Fili refused to budge on the issue. Unfazed, Bofur moved on to plan number two. 

"Suck, wanna suck you," he said.  
Fili was drunk, but had enough wits to realize there were too many ways to get injured when Bofur was this inebriated. "No," he said, what he hoped was firmly.  
"You're hard," Bofur whined. "Wh'don't you wan' it when you're this hard?"  
"I do," Fili said, and it was true. "Here, you do you and I'll do me."  
Bofur fixed him with a drunken, skeptical look. "Like a show?"  
Fili nodded, "Like a show."

It sounded sexy enough to Bofur to oil his fingers and wrap them around his member. Fili watched him, at first merely interested, but growing more hungry by the second. Too restless to wait, Fili slicked his own hand. 

"Hey!" Bofur protested. "You can't start your show when'ts my show!"  
"Imma watch you watch me watch you," Fili explained. 

It only took a few moments of Fili stroking himself and humming his enjoyment for Bofur to decide this was the best idea anyone had ever had. He stroked, licking his lips and cupping his stones, watching Fili bring himself pleasure for pleasure's sake. Usually they were too busy taking care of each other to get too absorbed in themselves. 

"Golden g-god," Bofur murmured. 

Fili groaned. He loved all Bofur's pet names for him, but that was one of his favorites. Bofur was flushed, sweaty, and drunk, but it hadn't affected his prick a bit. Fili, in his own lightheaded state, watched the head of Bofur's thick cock rhythmically appear and disappear in his fist. He thought about the way it looked, wondering if it looked like that from the inside of his arse. He was marveling how he ever managed to take such a thing inside him when Bofur suddenly shouted, coming. Fili momentarily forgot his own erection and pitched forward, trying to catch the remainder of Bofur's release. Most of it landed on his face, which only served to make him more wild. He flipped on his back and pumped himself furiously, having a harder time getting there drunk than Bofur had. Eventually, he erupted in sweet pleasure on his own stomach, shooting up into his chest hair. He let his prick go but stayed in the same spot, unmoving, his face and chest splattered with semen. 

"Wadn't that fun?" Fili asked.  
There was no reply.  
"Bo?"  
Deep breathing and the first hints of a snore answered him.  
His limbs growing unbearably heavy, Fili hummed sleepily. "Good idea." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading/commenting/reblogging/reccing! You all mean so much to me!


	48. Love Wakes The Dragon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "What do you want?" Bilbo whispered.  
> "You," Thorin replied between heated kisses.  
> "How?"  
> Thorin urged Bilbo's head forward, his hand at Bilbo's neck. He breathed his answer into Bilbo's ear. "Within me."

Thorin woke in the blue hours of pre-dawn. He blinked, momentarily unsure, but the naked warmth in his bed blissfully comforted him until he roused enough to remember the events of yesterday. He had started this new venture upset and twisted inside, both elated and horrified by Bilbo's offer. Waking with him now made Thorin question how he could have ever fathomed turning him down. He lifted his head to glance about. Bilbo was pressed firmly to Thorin's side. Kili was flopped on his stomach on the other side of Bilbo, having moved in the night. Though Kili was sound asleep, Thorin's movement had brought Bilbo around.

Sleepily opening his eyes, Bilbo murmured, "Good morning."  
"Not quite, actually," Thorin replied, catching a moan as Bilbo rubbed against him.  
Bilbo frowned and rested his face on Thorin's chest. "Then why are you awake?"  
"It hasn't been my habit to sleep a full night lately...or perhaps your presence has stirred parts of me awake."

Thorin felt Bilbo's smile against his skin. Bilbo's hand snaked down and stroked Thorin's cock, already fairly roused itself. 

"What will we have to do with this in order to find a little more rest?" Bilbo flirted.

Pulling Bilbo on top of him--mindful of the new, treasured jewelry--Thorin kissed him, rolling his hips suggestively. Bilbo gasped against Thorin's lips and rolled back in answer. Thorin's hands swept over Bilbo's shoulders, arms, back, and bottom, squeezing against the last and pulling him closer still. 

"What do you want?" Bilbo whispered.  
"You," Thorin replied between heated kisses.  
"How?"  
Thorin urged Bilbo's head forward, his hand at Bilbo's neck. He breathed his answer into Bilbo's ear. "Within me."

Bilbo's mouth found Thorin's again with a lustful urgency. After several moments, Bilbo sat up to find the abandoned oil bottle from the night before. He glanced at Kili, still deeply asleep and oblivious to the world. 

"Does he always slumber so heavily?" Thorin asked.  
"When he's drunk, content, or comfortable."  
Thorin glanced over again. "Is this, ah, is this acceptable? The two of us...on our own?"  
Fingers slick, Bilbo massaged Thorin' entrance. "Yes, though I don't know how much longer he'll be out once we start moving."  
Thorin reached out and grasped Bilbo's arm, staying his movements. "Now. I'm ready now, just like this."

Bilbo and Thorin moved together languidly, silently. It started slowly as a consideration, but their time and care turned erotic in its own right. Bilbo's fingers were over Thorin's mouth, muffling his lover's delight and feeling his breath. Bilbo bit his lip and fought sounds of his own. Thorin pulled Bilbo's hand away with a gentle tug of his wrist, kissing his palm. 

"Only one pleasure in the world has ever equaled the rightness of feeling you within me," Thorin whispered.  
"What pleasure is that?"  
"Me inside of you."

Bilbo closed his eyes and murmured Thorin's name, the dwarf's words giving him a tremor from his sternum to his stones.

Struggling upward, Thorin reached out in an attempt to kiss Bilbo. Unable to get the contact he craved, he undulated his body, encouraging Bilbo to move faster while Thorin stroked his own cock. 

"Mmpf," Kili protested as the bed shook. He adjusted his head to face the couple, regarding them through squinted, bleary eyes. He watched them for a moment, wiggling his hips and prick against the bed, weighing his arousal against his drowsiness. He closed his eyes with a long sigh.

"Tryn'ta sleep," he groused, deciding rest was more pressing business. "Hurry up."

Bilbo suppressed a giggle and Thorin looked between the two, disbelieving. 

"That's it? Just 'hurry up?'" Thorin remarked, suddenly fighting the urge to snicker himself.  
"You heard him. We don't want a cranky dwarf on our hands," Bilbo whispered flirtatiously, picking up speed. 

The fear of getting caught blended into disbelief into amusement into pleasure. Thorin was fast heading toward his orgasm, a strange sort of elation bubbling inside him. He wasn't quite sure whether he wanted to laugh or come, though his body and Bilbo's desperate mewls decided for him. He finished moments before Bilbo. After, the two of them held each other, panting and giggling to themselves while the rush passed. Eventually, Bilbo rolled off Thorin, Kili snuggled against him, and the three slept until just after sunrise. 

****

Thorin woke once again, this time finding Bilbo awake first.

"'Morning," Bilbo drawled.  
"'Morning yourself," Thorin replied with a smile.  
"I was just about to wake you. You said you had planning to do today? I imagine someone's bound to come look for you any moment."  
Thorin nodded. "Likely not quite this early, but at some point prior to breakfast, I'm sure. I suppose sooner or later I should get up and get cleaned up, no matter how much the idea of wearing you around for the day entices me."  
"If I had my way, I'd stay in bed with you as long as possible, but we should probably leave while while there is minimal chance of discovery," Bilbo noted.  
"I would not rush you out or fear humiliation," Thorin said solemnly. "I would rather you stay and have breakfast."  
Bilbo cupped Thorin's cheek and rose up to brush a kiss across his lips. "I know you would, but I understand this is for us right now, for us to enjoy on our own without the poisons of ill opinions."

Bilbo's words reminded Thorin of the earliest days of their relationship, how he had insisted it be kept secret, and all the trouble it came to cause. Did Bilbo think Thorin wanted to keep it quiet again? Or was it Bilbo's turn to insist upon secrets?

Tenderly clasping Bilbo's wrist, Thorin said, "If we are going to be together, it makes sense that others will need to know."  
"And they eventually will," Bilbo finished smoothly.

Bilbo's casual ease and confidence about the matter disconcerted Thorin. Bilbo had been so desperate for Thorin to tell everyone the first time around, after all. However, Kili's grumbling about being awoken so early interrupted his fretting and his attention was soon turned to dressing and goodbyes. He lightly kissed a barely-awake Kili's lips before giving Bilbo a more heady embrace. 

"Go home and get the lad some sleep," Thorin said affectionately. "You could probably use more rest, too."  
"See you soon," Bilbo said, winking and closing the door behind him. 

Thorin crawled back into his bed, hoping to catch a little more sleep before Dís or Dwalin came by to wake him. He wrapped himself in the last traces of Bilbo's warmth and dozed off once again.

*****

"We should bathe before we go back to bed," Kili said, creeping quietly into Bag End.  
Bilbo reminded him, "You were the one complaining all the way home about getting up at all."  
"I know, but now I'm a little bit awake and I feel sort of...itchy and sticky."  
"I'll run us some wash water, then."

After they had cleaned up and dried, Bilbo and Kili snuggled--comfortable and naked--into their own bed. 

"Was that what you had hoped? With Thorin, I mean?" Kili asked.  
Bilbo nodded, "And more besides. What about you? Be honest, please. Was it...bad for you at all?"  
"No, it wasn't. I found it rather exciting, actually. There was a pang or two of jealousy, but they did not last long. No, it is rather safe to say I would be pleased to continue onward with an arrangement like that indefinitely."  
"Were you okay with being touched?" Bilbo ventured.  
Kili tensed slightly against him. "I've been dreading this talk," he admitted.  
"Oh? How so?"  
"I-It felt good. The kissing, the caresses, the filthy talk--I loved it."  
"But?" Bilbo said leadingly.

Kili shifted against him and Bilbo could feel he was hard. 

"But nothing, not on my end. I've been afraid to tell you how good it felt. I feared you might get upset, and I'm worried that Thorin might think I'm some sort of deviant, too."  
"Kee, I'm glad you told me. Promise you won't keep things like that from me. If you do, none of this will work."  
"So you're not mad? Jealous?"  
Bilbo urged Kili on top of him, hissing a little when his piercings were bumped. "A little here and there, but it vanished quickly. I want you to enjoy this, too--to find pleasure of your own, to find it worthwhile outside of what it does for me. Honestly, like you with me, you experiencing pleasure brings me joy, too. I'll admit it turns me on when you and Thorin are both getting off on something. Now that my fears have been allayed, I can open up and enjoy the sheer obscenity of it all. You can kiss each other, stroke each other, make each other come--"

Kili had been rubbing his erection against Bilbo's hip while Bilbo spoke, cutting him off with a sudden moan. 

He said, "I'm so relieved, you don't even know."  
"You are mine and I am yours, no matter who else might share our bed," Bilbo murmured.  
"I need to come," Kili rasped. "Inside you."

Bilbo reached for the oil, rubbing Kili with it and slicking up a little himself. Kili pressed into him, moving against his body, kissing his knees and calves as he pumped in and out of him. 

"Glorious, dirty, filthy, creature," Kili gasped. "What have you done to me? Mahal, the pleasures you've allowed me!"  
"We are far from finished, if things go well," Bilbo said suggestively.  
Kili begged, "Tell me."  
"There are many nights of play ahead with Thorin. Not so much before he leaves, but thereafter--strokes, dirty stories, kisses, _coming_."  
Kili shuddered; Bilbo grinned wickedly.  
Continuing, Bilbo said, "And who knows what might happen with Fee and Bo? Think of all the new filth we can uncover together! Your brother and his lover teasing me, tasting me, all while you fuck my mind away. I'll come so hard for each one of you, Kee, I swear I will."  
Kili moved faster.  
"And who knows what we will do to you?" Bilbo said, "Three mouths, six hands, all potentially tasting and mapping your skin. I would very much like you to revisit your Pair kiss with Fee without any clothes on."  
"Bilbo," Kili called, his voice strained and pitched high.  
"You liked Thorin's kisses. I wonder how you'd feel about Fee kissing you as a real lover."  
"Bilbo-"  
"...touching you-"  
" _Bilbo_ -"  
"...rubbing you in your tenderest places-"

Kili choked back a grunt, biting into Bilbo's calf, tensing and jerking through his orgasm. He clutched Bilbo's leg to his face long after the pulsing subsided. 

Bilbo tapped Kili's arm. "Kee? I'm getting a cramp."  
Kili moved quickly, letting Bilbo's legs down. He stretched against Bilbo's side and burrowed in. Brushing a hand down Bilbo's torso, he said, "What about you? Do you want to finish again?"  
"Oh, I've finished plenty tonight. Today. Whatever. Watching you get off was brilliant, though," Bilbo assured him. "So, you like the idea of Fee touching you?"  
Kili buried his face. "Shut up," he snapped.

Bilbo was shocked by the sudden edge in Kili's voice. 

"Hey, hey," he soothed, stroking his hair. "Don't be embarrassed. Sometimes things can be erotic in our heads even though we don't want them to happen in real life."  
Kili groaned miserably. Sounding far away, he asked, "But-but what if it turns out I might?"  
Bilbo raised his eyebrows. Interesting. "It is okay, dear heart. I was there and getting off while you kissed and touched Thorin--I'm not going to judge you about Fee. Your twin-like bond rivals our own, after all."  
"Fee would judge me awfully, though," came Kili's muffled reply. "He was sickened by what I had admitted about Thorin from before, that it wasn't bad to be in bed with you both. I'm dreading admitting our new arrangement to him as it is. I can't imagine he would want to, to, to, to be a part of it, not like that."  
"He didn't look that sickened when we were fucking side by side, or when we gave them that show in the woods, or when he kissed you at our wedding," Bilbo pointed out.  
"That's all different, Bee."  
Bilbo kissed the top of his head. "Come, now. You're getting worried about something that hasn't happened yet. Are you having second thoughts about me going to Bo? About us including Fee?"  
"No."  
Bilbo reiterated, "Are you sure? Completely sure? You are the thing most important to me in this world. I can live without any of it--all of it--if it upsets you for the smallest moment."  
"No, I'm fine. Better, honestly. This added dimension of our play thrills me. I merely wonder if perhaps how much it thrills me means I'm defective somehow."  
"No! Gods, no, Kee! Thorin loved touching you, Fee and Bo have both liked our experiments so far, and Fee and Bo--although betrothed to each other--have both expressed an interest in getting quite dirty with me. If you are defective, then so are the rest of them."  
"But-  
Bilbo deliberately cut him off. "-And if for some reason Bo declines my offer, or Fee backs out, or any number of concerns arise in which they could have issue with it, none of it will be because you are any sort of deviant. I'm confident if this does not happen with them, it will be because of Thorin's involvement and my continuing relationship with him. I promise, you will be nothing but an asset. Even if Fee and Bo did not desire to feel your skin, they've both expressed their delight in watching how masterfully you dismantle me."  
"I have another confession," Kili said quietly.  
Bilbo yawned, quite in spite of himself. "What is it?"  
"I'm not sure how much I desire Bo. I like watching him with you, but I haven't found myself drawn to him as strongly."  
"That's okay, Kee," Bilbo said comfortingly.  
"What if it isn't? What if the desire never kicks in for him and I hurt his feelings?" Kili fretted.  
"I'm sure it will be fine, and if it is not fine, we'll make it fine. All you have to do is be honest with yourself, me, and him and we'll find a way to deal with it."  
"I adore him, I do," Kili continued. "I love him like he was my brother, which is particularly fucked up considering what you just said about Fee and the effect it had on me."  
"So much worry," Bilbo murmured, stroking Kili's arm gently. "One would never know you had just come--you're more tense than you were when we started. Shh, relax."  
Kili sighed raggedly, allowing himself to calm somewhat in Bilbo's arms.  
Bilbo soothed, "That's it. No sense in creating problems where there are none. We have each other. The rest will work out however it will. Let's go back to sleep for a while, hmm? You'll feel better for it."  
Snuggling deeper into Bilbo's side, Kili exhaled the rest of his tension. "I love you."  
Bilbo smiled and tugged up the blanket around them. "Love you, too."

They drifted off to sleep shortly thereafter.

*****

Fili awoke cold and uncomfortable, disturbing Bofur in the process of untangling their odd positions as the latter had somehow wound himself horizontally through Fili's legs.

Bofur sat up. "Oi, my head! It has been a goodly long time since I've woken up with such a case of the day-afters."  
"Now would be as fine a time as any to try that tea Daerbes gave us for such maladies. I'm not doing so badly myself, but something is pulling tight and itchy on my body hair."  
"What?" Bofur looked Fili over and sputtered a laugh. "How did you get yourself in such a mess? You've got come all over you. It is even in your beard!"  
Fili summoned the memory and laughed a little himself. "How did _I_ get in such a mess? I believe at least some of this mess is yours."  
"Hmm, I remember wanting you, and I remember finding satisfaction, but I don't remember how you became so decorated."  
"The bits on my face were from you, and the streaks on my belly are mine." Fili rubbed at his stomach in an attempt to dislodge some of the muck holding unfortunately tightly to the hair. "Ow! Okay, so this is going to need a bit of water to remove."  
Bofur was focused on his own discomfort. He smacked his mouth, sticking his tongue out. "I'm going to need that tea to chase away this taste at the very least, and the bath to follow."

*****

With two cups of tea brewed and in hand, Bofur found Fili readying their bath.

"Looks like Kee and Bee were in here recently. The towels are damp and the floor was still a bit wet," Fili said, taking a mug gratefully.  
Bofur furrowed his brow and pulled in a sip. "That's odd. They were sound asleep when I passed their room."  
"Maybe they had a wild night and washed away the traces before bed."  
Bofur shook his head. "I must have been _really_ drunk to have slept through that."

*****

A rap on Thorin's door snapped him out of his sleep. It was Dís.

She called out through the door. "Thorin! You're going to miss breakfast and the provisions meeting right after if you don't get out of bed."  
"I'll be down shortly!" he shouted back. 

Thorin would have suspected the whole night to be an erotic figment of his imagination had he not been surrounded by the smell of Bilbo and sex--or had he not had a pleasantly tell-tale twinge in his rather wet bum. He grinned uncontrollably into his pillow, through washing up and dressing, and well into breakfast...until Óin and Dori agreed Thorin's unusually happy expression was "creeping (them) out." Dís regarded him quizzically, but did not press. 

Dwalin seemed to keep his distance from Thorin for the remainder of the morning. Although it was not prudent for Dwalin to avoid him entirely during the supply meeting with the Thain and the top producing merchants, he sat with people in between them--unusual for one of Thorin's top advisers--and spoke only when it was absolutely necessary. He slipped away after the meeting, encouraging the trepidation growing in Thorin's gut.

*****

Once fully awake and bathed, Bofur and Fili made themselves breakfast.

"Should we wake them for food?" Fili asked.  
"If the smells and sounds didn't rouse them, let's let them sleep. If they were up all night making love, they are probably exhausted."  
"What about you? Are you better than you were? How's your head?"  
"That tea was a marvel. I feel fantastic," Bofur replied.  
"I didn't feel as terribly as you, but yeah, it did its job. Who knew all this time how wonderful elves were?" Fili grinned.  
"These past couple years have taught me several lessons, not the least of which was to disregard the prejudices of others."  
"Agreed."

*****

Around Second Breakfast, Bilbo and Kili padded down the hall, seeking sustenance. Fili and Bofur had cleaned up after their meal, but Bilbo could still smell the faintness of fried sausage in the air. Their boots were missing from the door and they hadn't been in their room, so Bilbo figured the pair had gone out and about.

Preparing batter for pancakes, Bilbo asked, "When do you suppose we ought to talk to them?"  
"Who? Fee and Bo? It is up to you," Kili replied. "If things go well, though, it will end in nudity and orgasms, so figure that into your planning."  
Bilbo smiled salaciously. "You're so dirty."  
"I'm merely pointing out the obvious. Perhaps it is not an announcement we would make before having company for dinner or if you weren't feeling particularly in the mood, you know."  
"You're right, of course, but I love it when you talk about nudity and orgasms. Any road, I could use another meal or two before I'm up for another session like last night's, although I must confess I'm looking forward to it more than is decent."  
Kili caressed Bilbo's face. "Then why is concern creasing your brow?"  
"I suppose my worry is us taking too long to ask and them finding out about Thorin in the meantime. Bo and I need to have this conversation without the hurt and anger that would doubtless result from something like that."  
"Thorin won't talk yet, if he talks publicly about it at all."  
"It isn't Thorin I'm concerned about."  
"Dwalin?"  
Bilbo nodded. "Dwalin."  
Kili rubbed Bilbo's back comfortingly as the hobbit stirred their breakfast. "Dwalin wants to, or maybe already is courting Mam. I can't imagine he's going to want to start that relationship by pulling her and Fee aside and telling them everything he saw."  
Bilbo hummed. "That is a fine point."

*****

Past noon, Thorin stopped by Bag End on his way to his next meeting--this one to reserve ponies and wagons. Bilbo and Kili were home alone and happy to see him.

Thorin pecked Kili on the cheek, but kissed Bilbo deeply.  
"Did you get a little more rest, my love?" he asked.  
"Yes, rest and breakfast and lunch besides. Did you have a lunch, yourself? Would you like me to fix you some food?" Bilbo replied.  
"Something for lunch would be lovely if you have something you don't have to bother to prepare," Thorin said. "I'd eat _you_ had I a little more rest myself."  
Bilbo agreed, "It was quite a night."  
"One of many, I'm hoping," Thorin said, only somewhat trusting his uncertainty didn't sound in his voice.  
Bilbo kissed him. "That is my wish."

Kili and Bilbo quickly gathered together a respectable lunch for Thorin, one which he consumed gratefully. 

Attempting to sound casual, Thorin asked, "Where, um, where are Fili...and Bofur?"  
Kili shrugged. "Out most of the day. We figured they were probably visiting or helping all of you."  
"I haven't seen them, but I've spent a fair piece of my day thus far holed up in Michel Delving," Thorin answered. 

Thorin had been internally dancing around how to bring up the subject of Bilbo's intentions for Bofur all morning without seeming too overbearing, but his curiosity was killing him. Remembering how he and Bilbo had promised to be open with their feelings this time around, he finally decided to simply ask what was on his mind. 

"Have you told Bofur yet? About this arrangement? About your...desires?"  
Shaking his head, Bilbo said, "No, I haven't had a proper moment yet."  
"What would make the moment proper?" Thorin asked sincerely.  
"I don't know. Time? Privacy?"  
"Are you going to tell him about us?" Thorin asked, willing his voice to stay steady.

Sensing his worry at being a dirty little secret, Bilbo's face momentarily crumpled in sadness on Thorin's behalf. 

Taking Thorin's hand, he said, "Absolutely. I will tell him about what the three of us have decided and give him a similar decision to the one I gave you."  
Thorin felt relief, albeit slight. "What do you think he will say?"  
"I don't rightly know. I hope he sees it as I do, but if he doesn't, he doesn't," Bilbo said.  
"It still bothers me," Thorin confessed, "this sharing you. Not so much with Kili any longer, oddly enough, but it burns something inside me still to think of Bofur having leave to touch you so intimately."  
Bilbo swallowed hard. "Does it bother you enough to change your mind?"  
"No," Thorin said softly. "I told you I surrendered and I meant it."

He stood and pulled Bilbo into his arms, claiming his mouth. "I'll always mean it," he whispered. 

Thorin stayed a little longer after the emotional display, talking of lighter things, until it was time for him to leave for the stables. 

"I came to the Shire for a break of the demands of leadership and found somehow I have even more to do!" Thorin joked.  
Kili remarked, "Planning a journey halfway across Middle Earth with dwarrows, elves, and a shape changer isn't exactly a small task. It was work enough for the five of us to get here from Beorn's."  
"Five?" Thorin inquired.  
"Don't forget Gandalf came with us a fair part of the way," Bilbo reminded him.  
Thorin said, "That is right. I had almost forgotten. I will deny it if you tell him as much, but I'm a little disappointed we won't have Gandalf on the way to Rivendell. Traveling with a wizard does have its uses."  
"Rivendell?" Bilbo repeated.  
Nodding, Thorin said, "With the elves traveling with us, they've insisted we stop there again to resupply and rest. I'm a bit embarrassed to return, to tell you the truth. I did not behave in a manner befitting a king the last time I was there."  
"We repaired a great many of those slights when we were there last," Kili assured him. "Fili and I discussed the first visit with Lord Elrond, plus you also have the friendship of Nerithel, Daerbes, and Nîfon going with you. I'm sure an apology wouldn't go amiss, but there had been extenuating circumstances the last time you were there. Lord Elrond is wise indeed--I'm sure he knows this time you come on better terms."  
Thorin grasped Kili's shoulder. "Lord Elrond is not the only wise one. You and Fili have been better ambassadors for Erebor than I dared hope."

Kili smiled shyly, accepting Thorin's kiss on his forehead. 

Thorin embraced Bilbo next. "Don't be late to dinner," he said.  
"Hobbits are never late for a meal," Bilbo quipped.  
Beaming, Thorin answered, "Indeed. One of the many things to love about you."  
Bilbo gazed into Thorin's eyes, basking in the joy of his expression.  
"Does this mean you no longer hate me?" Bilbo asked, recalling Thorin's harsh declaration in between fevered kisses the day before.  
"Oh Bilbo," Thorin exhaled, pressing their lips together. "I love you. I love you more than you know."

*****

Thorin finished his business at the stables and walked toward the inn. He saw Dwalin pass on a crossroad many paces ahead and called after him. He was certain he had been seen, but Dwalin paid him no mind. He jogged after him, calling out, Dwalin only turning around to face him when Thorin had gotten too close to ignore.

"What is with you today?" Thorin asked.  
Dwalin protested, "Nothing is 'with me,' as you say."  
"You ignored me at the meeting with the Thain, you skipped out on lunch, and I've not seen you since. I have a feeling I wouldn't be talking to you right this moment had I not decided to run after you like a dwarfling."  
Dwalin looked at him coldly.  
"Is it because of what you saw?" Thorin asked. 

Dwalin glanced around. There weren't many hobbits on their path, but he still pulled Thorin aside to an area more private before he spoke again. 

"I have questions as well as opinions, but I had not yet sorted them enough to discuss with you," he said.  
Thorin sighed. "We have work to do and a long road ahead of us, so let's discuss them now."  
"I did not mean to intrude, you realize. I thought you were crying, I thought Bilbo had done something else to break your heart. The door wasn't locked..."  
"I hadn't thought to lock the door when we went to my room. Later, I was a bit, ah, _busy_ and it did not occur to me."  
Dwalin scoffed, "Busy is one way to put it. You were naked with your former lover and your sister-son."  
Dwalin's tone made something inside Thorin flinch. "There's an explanation."

Crossing his arms, Dwalin nodded for Thorin to expound. In the simplest terms Thorin could manage, he outlined Bilbo's proposal. He left out Bofur's part in it, not wishing to complicate it further (and Bofur having not agreed yet in any case), but he took care to point out the union was real and would continue even with Thorin ruling back East and Bilbo home in the Shire. Thorin's heart sank as Dwalin's expression deepened in disapproval with every sentence.

When Thorin finished, Dwalin could hardly contain his displeasure.  


"You can't be serious!" he exclaimed. "This isn't a relationship! It is a bed partner relationship at best! He loves you but he doesn't want to live with you? What orc-shit!"  
"You don't understand, Dwalin," Thorin said. "I have to be in Erebor; Bilbo belongs in the Shire. He's in love with Kili, he's in love with me. This is the way we have to deal with it."  
"It is no way to live!" disagreed Dwalin.  
Thorin put his hands on his hips. "What about you and Dís, then?"  
Snapped Dwalin, "Leave her out of it."  
Ignoring his warning, Thorin sneered, "What about you pining over her for most of a century, watching her love someone else, marry him, bear their children?"  
"I loved her! I have loved her always!"  
"Well, I love Bilbo...and I've had more of him than you had of Dís back then, besides."  
Gritting his teeth, Dwalin said, "I've seldom wanted to strike you as I do right now."  
"Hit me if it makes you feel better, but it will not change the truth of the matter. You waited for her for decades without her declaration of love for you and without a bond, but I'm supposed to reject Bilbo even though he has given me those things and more?"  
"He took them back! He renounced them! Then he married someone else! Yet now he's decided to invite you to share their marital bed? It is madness!"  
"Is it any more mad than what you went through?"  
"Yes!" Dwalin shouted. "Dís didn't ask me to bed with her husband! She waited for him to die like decent folk would!"  
Thorin smirked.  
"That sounds bad but you know exactly what I mean by it, Thorin," Dwalin said, annoyed. "She mourned her love for decades before she even glanced in my direction! What Bilbo and Kili have proposed--what you are _doing_ \--isn't right. Let's not even get into the fact that you are related to Kili."  
"You're Dís's cousin!"  
"Somewhat distantly, and you know it isn't the same. She and I grew up together. You practically _raised_ that lad. It is sick, Thorin."  
"I'm sick? _I'm_ sick? What about when Kili came of age?"  
Dwalin feigned nonchalance. "What of it?"  
"Do you think no one noticed the way you looked at him?"  
"He looked like a lass! He looked so much like his _Mam_!"  
"His Mam you were in love with. You've cast more than a couple hungry glances his way over the past few years when you thought no one was looking. You lusted after the son of the woman you are now courting. Maybe half your problem with my arrangement is that it is me and not you who is now privy to his private pleasures?"  
"I never laid a finger on that lad and that's a fact," Dwalin snarled. "I have no interest in the business down the front of his trousers. I... _appreciated_ what he looked like because I considered his mother to be most beautiful dwarrowdam I'd ever seen and he favored her. That is all it was. I wouldn't have touched him then and I don't want him now!"  
Thorin shrugged, but his expression remained stern. "You split hairs your way, and I'll split them mine, it doesn't change the fact that everyone is fucked up, somehow, in their own way." 

Dwalin fumed but did not press the argument any further. Thorin knew better than to assume this meant Dwalin accepted Thorin's view of things.

"What will you be telling Dís, then?" Thorin asked wearily. "I would not presume to ask you to keep this secret, nor am I ashamed. Therefore, I will need to know so we may prepare ourselves for her inevitable wrath."  
"You should be ashamed of it, but obviously we do not agree about that. For my part, I am not about to get into this with her. She has barely gotten over Kili marrying Bilbo because of you and your feelings. I cannot imagine what special horrors of the Void the road home would hold if she had to endure such news. I will not be telling her, and I _will_ presume to ask you to keep it secret from her. She can do nothing to stop it, so her misery would be only for misery's sake."  
Thorin nodded gravely. "Then we will not share it."

With the shallowest of bows, Thorin left Dwalin and continued on his way. 

"I told him there was no bloody future in this," Dwalin muttered to himself. 

His irritation for Bilbo and Kili bloomed anew. Why couldn't they simply leave Thorin alone to lick and heal his wounds? Why wouldn't Thorin let himself move on? If Kili wouldn't consider Thorin, why wasn't he at least considering his mother in the midst of all this? What was so damned special about that hobbit's prick in the first place? 

Dwalin shook his head and wished things could be simpler once again. 

*****

Bilbo sat outside smoking with Kili when Bofur and Fili came home for tea. He had not spent time with Bofur since he had made his decision and his heart raced in his chest when Bofur's eyes met his.

Bofur greeted them warmly.  
"Bee, Ori wants a few words with you. He'll likely stop by before too long."  
Kili popped up quickly and headed inside the smial.  
"Where are you going?" Bofur asked.  
"If Ori is coming for company, I'd better get a pie ready," Kili explained.  
Trailing close behind him, Fili asked hopefully, "If I promise to help you, will you make two?"

Bilbo lingered outside, gazing at Bofur but not sure what to say. It was not yet the appropriate time for his proposition, but it was difficult to keep quiet about it now that he was decided. Bofur looked back at him curiously.

"Bee? Are you okay?" Bofur asked.  
Softly and sweetly, Bilbo replied, "Yes. I'm splendid, in fact."

Bofur quirked an affectionate smile. Bilbo was looking at him with a gentle wonder that quite took his breath away. Bofur took a step in his direction with a mind to pull him into his arms, to speak words of tenderness, but the memory of their last private conversation stopped him. Hadn't he promised Bilbo (and himself) he would have better self-control? With Bilbo looking at him in such a way, illuminated by the afternoon autumn sun, it was proving far more difficult than he had anticipated. 

Bilbo thought for a moment Bofur meant to embrace him and experienced a combination of panic and anticipation. If Bofur held him, would Bilbo be able to hold his tongue? Or keep it in his mouth? His last kiss with Bofur (and the unfortunate aftermath) swirled in his mind. He licked his lips as he recalled the memory and the movement seemed to capture Bofur's attention. The loving smile Bofur shared with him was joined by a heated yearning in his glance. This wasn't how Bilbo planned to tell him, not at all, but how could he refrain from kissing Bofur now that his doubts had been put to rest?

Without the other knowing, Ori managed to save both of them with his breathless arrival. 

"Hello, there! Bilbo, Bofur!"  
"I told him you were looking for him," Bofur told Ori, feeling both relief as well as disappointment.  
Visibly on edge himself, Ori thanked Bofur kindly.  
"Hmm, I was thinking you might be here a little later," Bilbo said. "Kee has only recently gone inside to start you a pie."  
"Oh, I don't think I could eat pie just now, anyway," said Ori, fidgeting.

Bilbo and Bofur exchanged a look. Ori was turning down sweets?

"Could I possibly talk to you in private?" Ori asked Bilbo. "Begging your pardon, Bofur."  
Bofur bowed shallowly. "No offense taken. I'll go see about the mess the lads are no doubt making."

After Bofur left them, Bilbo asked, "How private? Would the garden be sufficient? Holman and Hamfast have been borrowed and bought off to help get the expedition to Erebor together, so we'd be by ourselves."  
"I think that would be okay," Ori said. 

Bilbo sat on his garden bench and invited Ori to join him. As soon as he sat, Ori started in with questions for Bilbo about Kili and the Shire. How had Kili been accepted? Did Bilbo think Kili's royalty was a factor in helping quell the gossip? Was Kili happy? How did Bilbo know Kili was the one for him? How was it different from Thorin? On and on, Ori asked questions about love and dwarrows in the Shire. Bilbo answered him truthfully and to the best of his ability. Though some of the questions were personal, they were not nearly as invasive as the line of questioning that went into their book. Until...

"What do hobbits think of someone having multiple lovers?" Ori asked. "At the same time, I mean. Is it frowned upon?"  
Bilbo nearly choked, thinking of his own situation. For a moment, he feared word had gotten out. "Um, it depends. It isn't entirely unheard of, but it could be complicated to navigate."  
"What if one of those people was a dwarf who wanted to be with two hobbits? In a relationship?"  
Exhaling in relief, Bilbo realized Ori was asking for himself. Of course. "Is that something you're considering?"  
"I'm--oh Bilbo! I'm in love with two people! _Both_ of them! I'm sorry to spill my heart like this but you're the only one I know to talk to."  
Bilbo put a comforting arm around Ori. "You're welcome to spill your heart to me any time you need to. Thodora and Chadham, do they love you as much?"  
"Yes, they love me and each other besides. After everything that happened with you and Thorin, then you and Kili, if you'll excuse me, there was talk about how it was a hobbit thing, that a dwarf would never consider such a dishonorable thing, that it only happened with you because you were different, but I swear I feel it, too. I could not choose between them, and they do not wish to choose, either."  
"Ori, are you, I mean have you...um, bonded?"  
"Not yet. As you have cautioned me, it cannot be undone, and I don't want to doom them to a life of being marked if they cannot be with me. Besides, I worry about Thodora having a child."  
Bilbo patted Ori's shoulder. "Let's examine this one problem at a time. Thodora, and lady hobbits in general, know certain herbs and teas to control fertility, or so I'm told. With hobbits' love of pleasure and comfort, each house would have more than a dozen children if not for such things. If you speak to her about it, you might likely find she is already taking precautions."  
Ori blushed to the tips of his ears.  
"As for the rest, why could they not be with you?" Bilbo asked.  
"Well, I'm not sure, that's why I'm here and asking you so many questions. I don't know if dwarrows or hobbits either one would look kindly upon a union like ours. I wanted more information before we dared bond, let alone consider marriage...if marriage there could even be."  
"You are wise to be cautious, Ori, but I might have over-emphasized the downside of bonding. It is a blessing if the love is true. As for the opinions of others, if you love Chadham and Thodora enough to consider bonding yourself to them--and they love you enough for the same--then you love each other enough to not give a toss what anyone thinks. I can't tell you how or when that will be, though. That is a question you will have to ask yourselves."

Ori hugged Bilbo so tightly, he feared for his ribs. 

"Thank you, Bilbo! Oh, thank you! This talk has helped me ever so much. I've been worrying and dreading for days about the upcoming departure and what it means for Chadham, Thodora, and me. It is as though you've lifted the mountain from my shoulders. I have to talk to them right away!"

Ori jumped up and started running out to the path. 

"There's not a moment to delay!" he called back over his shoulder. 

Bilbo chuckled and shook his head. He knew that feeling. He knew it very, very well, indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments inspire me! 
> 
> Thank you for all your support so far <3 I love you.
> 
> Chapter title from a line in this work by Richard Siken--http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/177722


	49. And Suddenly Flames Everywhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bofur is confused, Bilbo is happy, Thorin is jealous, Bifur is sad, Fili is awesome, Kili is precious, Dori is angry, Nori is embarrassed, Ori is in love, and did I mention Bofur is confused?

After Ori disappeared down the hill, Bilbo joined Bofur, Fili, and Kili in the kitchen.

"Where's Ori?" Bofur asked.  
Trying not to smile too widely, Bilbo answered, "Oh, he had some things to attend to."  
Kili paused in mid-roll of his crust. "But one of these was going to be for him!"  
"It is okay," Bilbo said cheerily. "We'll just take it tonight."  
"Do you think the folks at the Dragon will be annoyed if we bring food?" Kili asked.  
Fili made a noise. "I doubt it very much. I think between all of us, we've financed them for the next year or two. I think we could bring a turkey and twenty pounds of potatoes and they would have nothing to say about it."  
Bilbo hummed in agreement. "If anything, I think they would welcome less of a strain on supplies. We were talking to Thorin this afternoon and I think all of us--the Shire hobbits and the traveling dwarrows alike--should be very, very thankful we had an abundant harvest season. He met with the Thain this morning to talk with the merchants about purchasing large quantities of supplies for the journey. I had not thought of it at the time, but it seems our wedding, extended visitors, and the expedition back to Erebor have put a very large strain on the Shire's supply line."  
"Will there be trouble this winter?" Fili asked gravely. "Perhaps Kee and I should have been hunting the whole time we were here, salting up meat for the cold."  
"Don't worry, Fee. Like I said, we had an abundant harvest season. No one in the Shire or on the way back to Erebor will starve for lack of Shire-end supply," Bilbo assured him.  
Fili relaxed. "That's good, then. That was worrisome for a moment."  
"Next year, there will be more planted, too. Thorin told the Thain he thinks there will be another group from Ered Luin heading toward Erebor next summer or fall, once they receive letters from friends and loved ones that Erebor can sustain greater numbers of their own. Bard is already working on Dale with the gold Thorin set aside for its rebuild. They estimate by next year, it will grow into an impressive trade hub again. It is going to pay dividends for that entire region for decades to come. It took getting over the gold sickness to get him there, but Thorin was smart to agree to an investment in Dale. I daresay, no one--not even Thorin--probably realized exactly how much gold was in that treasury, anyway, what with Smaug adding to the already impressive hoard. I still laugh when I think about Bard writing Thorin a letter to ask him to stop giving him gold," Bilbo said, his tone filled with affection and admiration for the king.

Bofur's merry mood dampened the more Bilbo talked. "Thorin said" and "Thorin thinks," as though Bilbo were a besotted tween. Bofur thought there was no good reason discussing Thorin should bring such a sparkle to Bilbo's eyes. 

"What's wrong, Bo?" Fili asked.  
Bofur shook himself from his thoughts. "Hmm?"  
"You suddenly took on a keen resemblance to a thunder cloud," Fili said.  
Bofur thought fast. "Just thinking of how sad Dale was when we first saw it and remembering our own brush with the dragon."  
Fili raised an eyebrow. He didn't believe him for a moment, but decided to let it go. "Don't remind me. Those dark hours in the passage were nothing I'd like to revisit."

*****

"Thorin, we cannot delay any longer," Dís said. "We've already pushed it too far as it is."  
Nerithel nodded. "She's right. The appropriate letters have been written, supplies will be ready in two days, and the wagons the day after tomorrow. You will only be halfway to the mountain by the very onset of winter if you continue to tarry."  
"But-" Thorin fumbled and grasped for a reason, anything, that could keep their company in the Shire beyond the end of the week.  
Dís laid a soothing hand on her brother's arm. "I understand you don't want to go yet, honestly I do, but we mustn't stay much longer. Our safety depends on it."  
Thorin covered her hand with his own.  
"I know," he sighed. "So be it. We will leave three mornings from now."

Another comforting touch spread between Thorin's shoulder blades. He glanced up to see Beorn regarding him kindly, if not sadly. Thorin nodded in thanks. No additional words were said between the two, though Thorin thought Beorn had already guessed his heart on the matter.

" _How am I going to tell Bilbo_?" Thorin wondered. " _And how am I going to find the strength to leave him here_?"

*****

"Has Bee seemed a little, I dunno, strange to you today?" Bofur asked Fili.  
Looking thoughtful, Fili said, "Now that you mention it, yeah. Kee has, too. He kept sneaking weird looks at me while we were baking, and Bee seems..."  
"Seems what? You tell me your thoughts first."  
"Lovestruck," Fili finished. "He's looking at all the world like it is the most fascinating, lovely thing he's ever seen! I know it is normal for newlyweds, but today he seemed even more starry-eyed than the days before."  
"That's what I thought, too! I thought maybe it was me at first, but then he started in with Thorin this and Thorin that-"  
"-So _that's_ what had you so agitated earlier!" Fili interrupted.  
Bofur grumbled, "Hush, you."  
Fili cradled Bofur's face and kissed him. "Don't be cross. It doesn't suit you."  
Fili's affection faded Bofur's pout; Bofur granted him a small smile.  
"Besides, some of his adoration seems particularly pointed in your direction. He's been going all dreamy when the two of you talk."  
Brightening, Bofur said, "You think?"  
"I do think," Fili said, rubbing their noses together.

*****

At dinnertime, Thorin waited outside the inn until he saw Bilbo and Kili approach.

"Bilbo! Kili! I must speak with you," Thorin said, walking up to them with a grave expression. "Where's Fili?"  
"Not far behind."  
Thorin looked past Bilbo to see if he could spot Fili on the road, but could not. "Perhaps we'll wait for him, then."  
Bilbo shook his head. "Confound it, Thorin! You can't look this solemn and expect me to wait for Fili to find out why!"  
Exhaling sharply, Thorin confessed, "We are announcing it tonight, but I couldn't bear for you to find out that way. We have a departure date set up for three mornings from now."  
Kili sighed and shook his head sadly.  
Bilbo slumped back, seemingly into himself. "Three mornings? That's so, so _soon_. I mean, I knew--of course I knew--but still, to have it be so real and...merciful Eru, three mornings?" he babbled.  
Thorin held him at the shoulders and pressed their foreheads together. "I know. I tried to stall for a few more days, but we're out of feasible delays and winter will soon be nipping at the heels of autumn."  
Kili stood next to where they met in the middle, rubbing both of their backs soothingly. "No, we understand," he said gently.  
"Of course we do," echoed Bilbo. "I want you near, but ultimately I want you and our friends to be safe."

Thorin stayed leaned against him, eyes closed and breathing shallowly. Swallowing his own shock and sadness, Bilbo made a valiant attempt at sounding chipper. 

"Well, I could stay out here to frown and fret," he said, "or I could go enjoy time with you and our friends while I can. What do you think I ought to do?"

Thorin tried to smile, looking from Bilbo to Kili as he stood. Kili winked, genuinely making Thorin chuckle. 

"I suppose enjoying surpasses fretting in my eyes," Thorin answered.  
Bilbo grinned. "Wise decision, my king."  
"Agreed," Kili added.

*****

Dinner was comprised of several tables as opposed to one large banquet, as though they were all casually visiting The Green Dragon in smaller groups. Indeed, there was scarcely room for anyone but them in the main dining room that night, because all the visiting friends were there as well as the dwarves from Ered Luin, Thodora, Chadham, Rorimac, Holman, and his wife. Bilbo was quietly thankful the Thain was skipping this party. Relative or not, Bilbo liked an inebriated Isumbras best in smaller doses.

In between ales and food, the guests went from table to table like bees visiting flowers in a garden. Dwalin made no move to visit any table that contained Thorin, Bilbo, and Kili, though it went unmentioned. Bilbo did the most mingling, trying to get in as much visiting as he could before his friends took the long road home.

*****

Bilbo had a quiet conversation with Kili, off on their own for a rare moment, to plan how best to spend Thorin's last days there. They had originally planned to speak to Bofur and Fili after the night's dinner, but decided (in light of the news) that if Thorin asked for tonight, it would be his. In either case, it was decided to extend Thorin the offer of their bed for his last two nights in the Shire. At Kili's urging, they planned for Bilbo to have hours alone with Thorin as well--hours to reveal secrets, share love, and give vows. Although they had discussed such things before, Bilbo nearly wept at Kili's selflessness in suggesting it with such reverence.

*****

Thorin saw Kili and Bilbo huddled close together, whispering and kissing, looking at turns serious and delighted. More than once, Bilbo seemed close to weeping with joy, and they gazed at each other as though nothing were more precious than the words spilling from their lips. Although he was somehow granted an extended leave in their world, he felt a tug of melancholy. How he would love to be the one who could make Bilbo wear such expressions!

*****

Bofur sat next to Bifur while Rorimac was off chatting with Ori, Bilbo, Thodora, and Chadham.

"So, how are things going with your lusty hobbit? Have you two discussed what you'll do about departure day?"  
" _There is nothing to discuss_ ," Bifur said.  
"You're taking him with you?" Bofur assumed excitedly.  
Bifur fixed Bofur with a sour, incredulous look. " _How can you be so adept at jumping to all the wrong conclusions? No, I'm not taking him with me. When I say nothing, I mean nothing at all. Our fancy was momentary, meant only for the time I was here_."  
Bifur rarely barked at Bofur in such a manner and though it took him aback, the words did even moreso.  
"You can't honestly mean that, Bifur. I can tell you care for him."  
" _But he can't care for me,_ " Bifur said morosely.  
"He does care for you!"  
Bifur shrugged. " _He thinks I'm attractive, we have a good time in bed, and I'm intriguing to him because I'm different, but he doesn't know _me_. How can he fall in love when I can't tell him about who I am, where I'm from, and the thoughts that shape me every day? Carrying around a book to have conversation is no way to live._ "  
"You two could find a way to communicate better, just as you and Bilbo have," Bofur offered helpfully.  
" _We don't have that kind of time, Bofur. In fact, our time is up. I can't ask someone who doesn't know me to travel halfway across the world with me, and he's too handsome to ask to wait. Just since I've been here, I've seen many appreciative eyes look his way._ "  
Bofur shook his head. "I think you should let him make the decision. I'll bet you'd be surprised." 

The conversation ended abruptly when Rorimac returned with full ales for the three of them and sat down, chattering happily.

*****

Bilbo climbed up on a table to have a chat with Beorn.

"I've not seen much of you since you were wed. You are well?" Beorn asked.  
"I am sorry about that," Bilbo said, feeling guilty. "You will be leaving soon--I should have been making greater efforts to see you."  
"You've had more visitors besides me, and some that will pain you much more to see go."  
"How can you say such things? You know how fond I am of you!" Bilbo argued.  
"I did not mean you do not care for me." Beorn looked across the room at Thorin. "But it is only natural to be saddened by the departure of a lover."

Bilbo followed his line of sight, glancing up with a start to meet Beorn's knowing gaze. He did not argue.

"How?" he asked.  
"I've told you before, Bunny. Love and lust, I can smell them from a mile."  
"We are keeping it between us for now," Bilbo said carefully.  
Beorn nodded. "That is probably best. I don't know how you managed to work it out between the five of you, but good on you. You know I've only wished you happiness from the start."  
"Excuse me, five?"  
Beorn hastily quaffed his beer. "Maybe I've said too much," he said.  
"Not necessarily, but not all plans have been arranged or agreed upon yet. Please, tell me how you reached your count of five."  
"You, Bofur, Fili, and Kili have been surrounded by love, joy, and lust since before you left my home. It radiates even wider here in the Shire. Bofur, Kili, Thorin--you don't have to tell me how you feel about them, not any more than they have to tell me how they feel about you. Fili is Bofur's mate; neither you, Kili, nor Bofur would suffer him to be left out. Therefore, I say five."  
Bilbo was astonished at how perceptive Beorn was, whether it be by sense or observation. "I count myself very lucky you are not a gossip, my friend!"  
Beorn laughed. "I have learned much since I've been here. I will not reveal names, but I believe the occasion of your wedding will ultimately lead to other unions."  
"Hmm, well then maybe I'm not that lucky after all, because now I'm dying to know whom you are talking about!" Bilbo said.  
"I think you'll find out some sooner than you expect," Beorn said cryptically.

*****

Dinner wore into dessert, drinks, and eventually another spot of supper for the hobbits. The hour growing late, Thorin stood to make his announcement.

"Some of you know already, but the expedition East to Erebor will be leaving on the third morning from now," Thorin said. "Larger arrangements are being made on behalf of the party, but it will be up to you to pack your personals, essentials, and desirables."

He paused for reaction, but received little. He had caught up with Fili before dinner and word seemed to have otherwise already spread through the party--not even Ori's hobbits seemed fazed. Holman and Rorimac were likely the only two taken by surprise and the latter seemed quite shaken. 

"I'm sure many of you, just as I, will be as sorry to leave the Shire as we are eager to see home. In the interest of diplomacy and what is right, I ask you to take some time before we leave to thank the Shirefolk that have gone out of their way to welcome you these past few weeks. I daresay many of you are sporting some extra padding for the road thanks to those in the marketplace!"

There was a rumble of laughter and a few mugs were held aloft before they were sloppily drained. 

"Moreover, and I'm sure I'll say it again before we go, we all owe Bilbo and Kili our gratitude and thanks. They loved us enough to invite us, to host us, to feed us, and to shelter us. Congratulations on your union. Our love and appreciation go with you, always."

Thorin bowed toward the couple and took his seat. Fili, Bilbo, and Kili joined him, giving hugs and thanks. Bofur came along, too, but only gave regards. He wasn't necessarily opposed to a hug for the king (given all they had been through) but Thorin seemed to behave stiffly toward him again, as he had prior to the wedding. He thought he might be imagining it, but Thorin also seemed to be staring at him oddly. He excused himself before Fili did, feeling as though he were being studied--or sized up.

*****

"I don't see why it has to be Rivendell," Dwalin argued. "We did not have the best of luck last time."  
Sitting in Nîfon's lap, Nori argued, "We were also not on our best behavior last time. We carried our prejudices into the Valley, assuming Elrond's folk to be as Thranduil's. Wrongly, I might add."  
"True, we acted like right arses and that's a fact," Bofur chimed in.  
Dwalin scoffed, "Speak for yourself."  
"I'm pretty sure it was your tadger bobbing in the fountains as free as mine," Bofur countered. "Yet Elrond welcomed us again, when the five of us returned to the Shire, giving us both bed and food. We made friends, friends who are now your friends as well."  
"Yes, and we are ready to vouch for the group traveling through Rivendell with us," Nîfon said, giving Nori a squeeze.  
"But you are only three," Dori said. "No offense meant, but liking the three of you doesn't mean I'm eager to return to Elf-lands again."

Nori felt a twinge of embarrassment and threaded his fingers those Nîfon had rested against his belly. The argument was cut short by Ori banging two tankards together. 

Ori stood. "Excuse me! Friends, please! May I have your attention, please?"

The noise quieted for Ori to speak. For a moment, he stood still, saying nothing, but appearing quite terrified. His eyes darted around, landing on Thodora and Chadham. A warm smile softened his features. Standing straighter with a new confidence, he spoke clearly. 

"I don't know how best to say this. I've debated telling you one by one or doing it as a group. This way seems to be fraught with less chances of gossip and misunderstanding, so I hope my brothers will forgive me in time. I love all of you, truly, and I wish you well on your journey. However, I will remain in the Shire for the winter, and perhaps beyond, to continue to court the hobbits I hope to some day marry."

Not a soul had to ask him which hobbits he meant, and it was a good thing, too, as they might not have gotten the chance. 

"What?" Dori shouted. "Hobbits? Both of them? As in, more than one?"  
Nori, no stranger to interesting bedroom arrangements, fixated on a different point. "The Shire? All winter? Ori, are you sure?"  
"I'm quite sure, Nori, and yes, Dori. I am in love with Thodora and Chadham and they are in love with me. I am staying to see if we could make a life for ourselves."

Dori sputtered and argued. Nori was impressed by Ori's display of courage for the ones he loved and came in on his side, leaving Nîfon's lap in an attempt to sway Dori. The other company whispered between themselves or sat, stunned. Thorin rubbed his beard thoughtfully, considering his arrangement with Bilbo. Perhaps it was not so unusual for a hobbit like Bilbo--or for a dwarf like Bofur--to romantically love more than one person, after all. He was pulled from his thoughts by a frantic Dori.

"Thorin! Thorin, you are King of Erebor and the leader of this expedition!" Dori implored. "Tell him! Order him in the name of the king! Say he cannot do this!"  
Thorin shook his head. "I'm sorry, Dori, but I'm afraid I cannot. I have no real authority in the Shire, and even less authority over Ori's heart. This is between Ori and his loves."

The ale and a touch of open commotion were all that was needed for the companions to grow more vocal. Rivendell, alternate routes, and Ori's love life became the subject of loud, verbal debates. Bilbo and Fili made a fruitless attempt at peacekeeping before giving up entirely. 

"They could go on like this all night. With all that ale, they just keep talking in circles and no one is listening to each other," Fili said.  
"Aye, it is late, anyway. I think we'd best be leaving," Bofur agreed.

As soon as they had decided to leave, Fili and Bofur were pulled into the Rivendell debate. Kili was trying to say goodnight to his mother, who (in turn) was attempting to elegantly pull Dwalin out of said debate before he created bad blood with Nerithel, Daerbes, and Nîfon.

With hobbit stealth, Bilbo crept over and whispered his escape plans into Thorin's ear. Thorin took his hand and quickly ducked outside with him while Kili, Bofur, and Fili were still attempting to extricate themselves from the arguments and say their goodbyes. Pulling him around to the side of the building for some privacy, Thorin spoke.

"I wanted to come to you tonight, but this mess doesn't show signs of slowing and I was already physically exhausted before dinner began," he said with audible disappointment. "Who knows when it will end? Will you forgive me? I mean, I know we don't have much time left as it is."  
"Do what you need to do. I do not envy you that mess, and I had more rest than you did. In light of your weariness--but not _because_ of it, mind--I think I might take this opportunity to speak to Bofur when we get home," Bilbo said.  
Thorin frowned. "Oh, that soon?"  
"I think we all need to know where we stand before you leave, don't you?" Bilbo asked.  
Nodding, Thorin rolled in his lips, still looking gravely concerned.  
"I'm serious about this, serious about _you_ , Thorin. Would you rather me keep the other part to myself and leave not knowing? I suppose that is a possibility..."  
"No. No, you're right. No good will come of it like that. I just--I have told you, I don't like the thought of you and him, of you and him... _together_. Between that and the chaos inside, I'm going to be awake half the night with stress and worry."  
Bilbo kissed Thorin softly. "While it is true the time you put in mediating tonight will make for an easier journey for you all, you must try to set it and your other worries aside to find some sleep. After all, the rest you get tonight means we can have a more productive night tomorrow."  
Thorin smiled. "Oh? What happens tomorrow?"  
"I was thinking, hoping, perhaps you would like to spend your last nights in town with us at Bag End?" Bilbo asked.  
"Yes, yes please!" Thorin said, hugging Bilbo and lifting him off the ground.  
"Ow, ow, ow!" Bilbo protested, his nipples smarting with the pressure. Thorin dropped him to his feet immediately.  
"Sorry, I forgot for a moment. Tomorrow, then? Truly?"  
Bilbo nodded. "Perhaps we'll finish dinner and take an early bed time. You've not slept in the new bed, yet. I think you will enjoy it."  
"I think I'll enjoy not sleeping in it even more."  
"That's the idea."

Bilbo stole a kiss goodbye while they were still alone...and then Thorin stole another. 

"How is it that you feel better every time I have you in my arms?" Thorin murmured. "If you don't go now, I think I might lose myself right here and do something particularly un-kingly. As it is, I'm resenting that I'm expected to calm the madness in there when I could be naked in bed with you."

Bilbo kissed him once more, standing back just ahead of the sound of the door opening and Kili, Bofur, and Fili coming out. 

"Tomorrow," he whispered.  
"Goodnight, my love."

Bilbo met Kili, Fili, and Bofur around the corner first. He turned around for a last look as they started toward Bag End, but Thorin had already gone back inside.

*****

"Will you be staying up late enough to bother with a fire in the parlor?" Fili asked Bilbo and Kili.  
Bilbo and Kili shared a quick glance.  
"No, I think I'll make one in our room to take the chill off," Kili replied.  
Bofur nodded. "Just as well. What a strange night it has been!"

Kili stoked up a fire in the master bedroom as Bilbo shed his jacket and waistcoat, leaving him only in his shirt and trousers. Bofur padded past their door, boots already off for the night. 

"Bo? Could I speak to you and Fee before bed?" Bilbo asked.  
"Sure," Bofur agreed readily. 

He called down the hall to Fili and soon they both stood, leaning against Bilbo's bed. Bilbo stuffed his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels nervously. 

"Obviously, my hair has been recently cut," he said. "Before the length was shorn off, braids were woven."

Bilbo pulled a hand from his pocket and opened it. In his palm were two bound plaits. 

He took a deep breath and exhaled. Gesturing toward Bofur and Fili, he said, "The two of you mean a great deal to me. I wanted to do something, to give you something to help illustrate how integral you have become to my life and my happiness from day to day. There is a braid for each of you, should you want them. Kee has his already, of course."

Accepting his braid from Bilbo's palm, Bofur asked, "Why on earth would you imagine we wouldn't want them? This is--bless my beard, this is..." Bofur searched for the proper word.  
"Special," Fili supplied. "It is a lovely, special gesture, offering us your braids. You know very well how we feel about such tokens. Thank you, Bee. We shall treasure them."  
Bofur remarked, "Aye, all he said and more. By the Maker! I'm at a loss for words and you know that's no small thing. Thank you."

Bofur moved to hug Bilbo tightly. He pinched against his piercings, forcing a pained squeak and an abrupt end to their embrace. 

Bofur regarded him quizzically. "Bee?"

Bilbo glanced to Kili, receiving a kind nod in return. Kili moved in behind Bilbo, slipping a reassuring arm around his waist. 

"There's more," Bilbo said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you!
> 
> Chapter title from a line in this work by Richard Siken--http://www.poetryfoundation.org/poem/177722


	50. The Butterflies In Me Arise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo makes a confession and pleads his case.

_Bofur regarded him quizzically. "Bee?"_

_Bilbo glanced to Kili, receiving a kind nod in return. Kili moved in behind Bilbo, slipping a reassuring arm around his waist._

_"There's more," Bilbo said._

Bofur smiled in good humour, oblivious to how suddenly his fortunes were about to shift. 

"More, you say?" he asked playfully.

Bilbo nodded, swallowing, and unbuttoned his shirt. Thorin had not taken him seriously until Bilbo showed him the rings; he made the decision not to delay this time. He spread the fabric to show off his fresh jewellery.

When he realized he was looking at two shiny, new nipple rings on Bilbo's body, Bofur had only the dimmest awareness that his mouth had dropped open in shock. From what Fili said, Bilbo had gotten his navel pierced under protest and even then, only as a way to show his devotion to Kili. To see Bilbo decorated in such a manner was as mysterious as it was tantalizing.

While his prick twitched at the sight, Fili also felt the hair on the back of his neck prickle, as though something of great import had just happened.

"Bee?" he inquired.  
"I now have three rings through my flesh, representing two different trios that mean a great deal to me," answered Bilbo. "The first is the line of Durin--Fili, Kili, and Thorin--all of whom changed my life and whom I hold close to my heart. Fee, without you I would not have my husband, and likely may have lost my mind when Thorin had been in the process of losing his. You are terribly dear to me."  
"And you to me," Fili said sincerely. "What does the other trio represent?"

Bilbo looked back to Kili again for reassurance. Kili kissed his cheek in reply and rested his chin on his shoulder.

"I also wear these to represent the dwarrows with whom I've fallen in love: Kili, Thorin, and," Bilbo looked at Bofur. "you."  
Bofur drew in a breath so quickly he nearly choked on it. "Me?"  
Bilbo nodded. "You know that, of course. It is hardly a secret these days."  
"But to wear jewelry for me...to put a hole in your body!" Bofur exclaimed.  
"Yes, and they hurt like a bloody dragon bite, so I hope you appreciate the depth of the meaning," Bilbo joked.  
"I don't know what to say," Bofur said.  
"Then don't say anything," Kili replied.

Kili moved from behind Bilbo and guided Fili to take his place. He indicated with a tilt of the head for Fili to help Bilbo off with his shirt. Fili slipped the garment from Bilbo's frame and let it drop to the floor. He gently caressed Bilbo's shoulders. There was no protest.

Bofur stepped into Bilbo's space and stroked his face. "What about what happened with Thorin before? With Kili?" he asked tenderly.  
"Kee and I have discussed this at length. He shall remain bonded with me alone, but this is right for me--for us. It is synchronous with our desires."  
"What is?" Fili asked.  
Bilbo said, "Revisiting our rules, not denying myself the caresses of the ones I love most."  
"Bo and me?" clarified Fili.  
Kili added, "And Thorin."  
"Thorin?" Bofur exclaimed in surprise, taking a step back. "After all of that awfulness?"  
"Much of the awfulness was my own fault, Bo," Bilbo explained. "I jumped to conclusions, I did not speak my mind, and I created more problems."  
"You would seriously consider taking Thorin as a lover again? Still?" Bofur said, unbelieving.  
"I was willing to give up feeling our bond for the love of Kili. Kili has decided I do not have to," Bilbo replied. He gave Kili an adoring glance.

Bofur's lips were moving silently while his mind raced, working through the possibility and probability of what Bilbo was truly saying. Bofur noticed Bilbo staring at him, both soulful and sinful, eyes wide and pleading...with a wet tongue slowly dragging across his bottom lip. Bofur shook the desirous thoughts out of his mind and touched his hand to his forehead, attempting to concentrate. 

"Wait--wait a moment, here," he said. "Remember when you were sick in Lake Town? I stayed with you on your worst afternoon, that day you were hallucinating. I sat on your bed, trying to bring you some calm and gentle comfort. Even then, before you began your love affair, when Thorin saw me with you he nearly had murder in his eyes. Although the two of you had ended your betrothal, he's been ready to fight me practically since he's arrived in the Shire simply for looking at you. What makes you think he would ever agree to this?"  
"He has already agreed," Bilbo said. "We've been to him with this suggestion and he acquiesced...not without considerable reflection and somewhat begrudgingly, mind you."

It was only then Bofur noticed more than the shiny jewelry perforating Bilbo's skin. Love bites dotted both sides of his neck and there was other, paler evidence of rougher passions along his torso.

"You went to him yesterday; you spent last night in his bed," Bofur said flatly in realization.  
Bilbo nodded. "That is true."  
Bofur's mouth opened in a smile more incredulously angry than mirthful. "Cor! You're shameless, aren't you?"

"Bo, please," Bilbo said gently, hoping to calm him.  
Bilbo's tone gave Bofur a sudden awareness of the volume of his voice. He made an attempt to sound more rational, though the bitterness still came through. "So what now? Is he to live here? Shall the three of you be wed?"  
"Thorin will return to Erebor with my love, though it is our hope to see him more frequently than we had been planning when we left Erebor last. My life is still to be here in the Shire with Kili and the two of you," Bilbo explained. "About last night, please understand--we're running out of time with Thorin. They'll be gone inside the week."  
"Then why bother with us at all until they leave?" Fili asked, taking the words from Bofur's mouth.  
"I did not want you to find out some other way, to draw poor conclusions, or to think the worst of me again as you had the last time," Bilbo said. Glancing at Bofur thoughtfully, he quirked a small smile before continuing. "Also, to be truthful, once the decision was made, I found it difficult to wait. I wanted to tell you what I had decided as soon as possible, that I loved and wanted you, but the moment had to be right. Oh, Bo, how I've fantasized about the look on your face and how it would feel to finally give in to this want we've been feeling."

"Are you sure?" Fili asked. "This isn't the sort of thing you can stuff back in the box once it has been opened, you know."  
"I thought you were willing?" Kili asked.  
"Willing? Absolutely, but what the two of you are proposing is weighty, serious. Begging your pardon, Bee, but this isn't something you can change your mind about tomorrow. Deep feelings are involved, and possibly more besides."

Bofur had considerably softened with Bilbo's words, but Fili's point was a good one and it momentarily clarified his thoughts.

"Aye, rest assured if you are merely pleasure-seeking, I could be willing, but don't tell me this is going to be something it is not," Bofur implored. "This is a lot you are asking of me, Fee, Kee, and Thorin."  
"Don't think I don't know it," Bilbo answered. "This is why I've held off so long, built a cage around myself and Kee with rules, conditions, and all those other things that have been confusing you. Those things were my protection, though I unwittingly hurt you in the process. Although you're all fond of pointing out how my hobbitish nature gives me a particular predilection to taking a number of lovers, it became clear to me shortly after we arrived home that I couldn't move forward without either love or immense trust fueling the majority of this want. Thorin's first offer to Kee touched on my deepest insecurities. I've worked through those with myself, and every conversation I've had with you, Fee, and Kee since then has brought me to now. I'm finally ready to listen to my heart and to trust Kee to know his. I suppose the question now is, do you and Fee trust us with yours? To be respectful of your union as we allow you into ours?"

"But it isn't just me and Fee, now, is it? We're adding Thorin into this and he does not have the best history being worthy of your trust or your heart either one," Bofur countered.  
"I mistrusted him for a long time, Bo, feared him and his drive to have Bilbo at all costs, but so much has changed since then," Kili said. "I trust him with this."  
"You've fallen for his lines before," Fili cautioned him.  
"I know, and all I can say is you haven't been there for all of it, though I think you've seen a very different Thorin in his private moments as of late, haven't you?"  
Fili smiled fondly, his suspicion fading. "I have."  
"Besides that, Bee trusts him and I trust Bee," Kili said.

"And what would you say if I didn't want to share your love with Thorin?" challenged Bofur. "Or what if I wanted to give in to our physical desires, but nothing beyond tonight?"

Bilbo studied Bofur. This was most unexpected. He glanced at Kili, who only shrugged. Fili looked at Bilbo and Bofur both, his expression serious but seemingly unshaken.

Bilbo answered steadily. "That is not my wish, though I can respect if it might be yours. A part of me would want to take this night, make the most of it, and remember it always, but I'm not sure I could. This is about more than pleasure, Bo. I'm in love with you, and I think it would hurt too much in the long run to take that offer."

Bofur's glance sought Fili's and they had an entire conversation in the flicker of an eye.

Fili asked, "How would we move forward, then, were we to be amenable? With these adjustments in the rules?"  
"I do not know how it is for you two and your new betrothal, but if the discussions the two of you have had with us in the past still stand true, I would very much like to be touched."  
"And the rest?" Bofur asked, eying Kili. He did not want himself or Fili to make a dream-ending misstep.  
"Kili will only mark and be marked by me, but it is neither fair nor practical to expect him to be a mere observer when I will be subject to such pleasures. Kili's involvement is his choice, as he wishes to allow it."  
Bofur looked up, past Bilbo's face, into his own lover's eyes. "Fee?"  
"If you do not kiss that hobbit, I am going to," Fili said. "I'm going to anyway, but I was letting you go first."

Bilbo felt a touch of relief in Fili's consent, but Bofur's expression hadn't given way to the lascivious mirth Bilbo had expected. Instead, Bofur raised his hands to his hair. Deliberately, he untied his plaits and smoothed through them, leaving only Fili's courting braid intact. Fili did the same with two of his own braids on his right; Kili stepped in to help him unbind the ones on his left.

Hair loosed, Bofur finally cradled Bilbo's face in both of his hands, leaning forward to kiss him. A breath before their lips touched, Bofur whispered, "I love you."

Their mouths came together in open, heated passion. Bilbo heard the rustling of clothing in between the beats of his heart and he faintly registered someone tugging the ties on his trousers. When he and Bofur parted, Kili and Fili were naked and he was mostly there himself. While Bofur undressed fully, Fili pressed a kiss to Bilbo's lips--firm melting into filthy as he slid Bilbo's trousers over his arse and down his thighs. Bilbo felt Fili's naked skin warm against his front as Bofur joined him at the back. Parting from Fili's kiss, he dropped his head back to share another with Bofur.

Kili moved behind Fili, wrapping his arms around both him and Bilbo until he ran out of reach. He dropped tentative kisses to Fili's shoulder and leaned against him, hard and bare. The curious, questing fingers of one hand stroked lightly down Fili's side, stopping to rest flat on his hip. 

Bilbo's eyes cracked open as Bofur moved on to his throat, watching Kili make his gentle overtures. He thought of Kili's confession and waited with interest to see what Fili's reaction would be. He didn't wait long.

"Um, Kee?" Fili said.  
Kili froze, and Bilbo froze a little, too. "Yeah?"  
Fili asked, "So what you're doing...as in, right now, with me...is, is that how you are with Thorin, too?"  
"Sort of," Kili said, backing away and blushing.  
Fili turned around. "How sort of?"  
Kili crossed his arms and tried to ignore the fact that he was naked. "Why do you want to know?"  
"Why are you being defensive?"  
"I'm not being defensive!" Kili argued.

Bofur still held Bilbo from behind but they had stopped kissing to pay attention. 

"Then tell me. Does Thorin touch you?" Fili inquired.  
Kili shrugged with one shoulder. "A little."  
"Do you touch him?"  
"A little more than a little."  
"Do you put his cock in your mouth?" Fili demanded to know.  
"No, Fee! Valar save me!" Kili swore, embarrassed.  
"Do you...do you kiss him?"  
Kili hesitated a moment. "Yes."  
"Like you kiss-"

Kili had had enough of this interrogation. Obviously Fili didn't approve of Kili caressing him intimately, but Kili would be damned if he was going to be shamed for what he did in bed with anyone, particularly when Fili had no problem sharing Bilbo or Bofur either one. He exploded.

"Gods, Fee! I kiss him like he is my lover, I touch him when I feel like it, and he touches me back. Sometimes he holds me, too, in case you wanted to know. Bilbo is okay with it, Thorin is okay with it, and in case it matters at all to you, I am okay with it, too! I know you'd rather me be ashamed about it but I like the way it feels when he touches and kisses me, okay? I like the way we are together, and no, I'm not going to let him fuck me, or fuck him back, so don't give me that look!"  
"I'm not giving you any look!" Fili shouted back, though he didn't know why he was shouting.

Fili had been thinking about Thorin's hands on Kili--holding him, giving him deep lover's kisses--and it sparked something territorial within him. It never bothered him at all that Kili found his Chosen, nor did he mind sharing his Bo with Bilbo, but the idea that Thorin's hands were welcome on Kili twisted something awful, something primal, deep inside.

Fili wrapped his arms around Kili, feeling him naked and solid against him. Holding his head with both hands, he moved in to kiss him. Kili paused at first, but parted his lips soon after, dipping his tongue out to see if Fili might recoil. Fili only kissed him deeper, moving his hips against him. Breaking from his mouth, he leaned down and--to everyone's surprise--sucked a claim into his neck. 

"Mine," Fili whispered into his ear. "Not Thorin's, _mine_."  
"Fee, I didn't know-" Kili whispered back.  
"Well, now you do," Fili said guilelessly, "and from now on, I get whatever Thorin gets of you." 

Fili looked over at Bilbo and Bofur. With his display of dominance essentially over, his tone grew more gentle. He asked, "Would either of you have any objection to that?"

Bilbo and Bofur shook their heads, both wondering where all this had come from--and each a little excited at this show of possessiveness, besides.

"Okay, Kee?" Fili gazed into his eyes, not willing to push the matter if Kili was truly averse.  
"Of course," Kili said, features softening. "You and Bee are always first for me, you know that."  
They shared another brief kiss before Bilbo and Bofur joined them. 

Bilbo moaned in pure delight as he quickly became the center of attention once again: Kili's tongue in his mouth, Fili nibbling his nape, and Bofur trailing kisses down his chest, lowering himself to his knees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut-hanger!
> 
> :D


	51. 3 Versus 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorin deals with the disputes at the inn. Meanwhile, Bilbo begins to discover three dirty minds were two more than he had anticipated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was either split up the smuts, stay up until 4, or not post until Thursday. #1 seemed like the best option. 
> 
> But first, we go to The Green Dragon!

Thorin walked into much the same mess as he sneaked away from. He wasn't sure which situation to try to diffuse first, but his decision was soon made for him. Nori jumped up on the table where he had previously sat.

"You dishonor yourself, your lady, and your king!" Nori shouted at Dwalin. "Have you forgotten Elrond's scouts intercepted the orcs about to slaughter us in the field? How, despite our unfriendly demeanor, Elrond fed and sheltered us, helping us get one step further to Erebor? And what about that, huh? We would never have figured out the moon runes without his aid. Even Gandalf was flummoxed!"

Nori looked around at the dwarrows, hobbits, and their other friends. "Has it been so quickly forgotten that elves fought and died by our side at the Battle Of The Five Armies? That elves took in and cared for our princes and our burglar on their long road back to the Shire? You should be ashamed of yourselves. Dwalin, you are a member of the court. Granted, it is more for your brawn than your brain but you are still a representative of Erebor. Is this how you want to show forth Thorin's people? How about you, Dís--would you embarrass your brother so? Dori, how many hours have you and Óin spent bending Daerbes's ear about herbal this and thats? Have you forgotten your elven friends, sitting right here and listening politely as you impugn their people and their land? This shouldn't even be a debate! The route was well-planned and this has already been decided."

Thorin glanced around the room, silent except for a handful of nervous sniffs and coughs. Dori had the sense to look embarrassed, as did Dwalin and Dís. Ori regarded his brother with watery pride. Also bearing proud expressions were Nerithel, Beorn, and Daerbes, and Nîfon...well, he gazed upon Nori as though he were a rare and beautiful gem. 

Thorin took a step toward the table as Nori jumped down to a more steady surface. 

"Well, Dwalin?" Thorin said with authority. "What say you to Nori's argument?"  
Dwalin rubbed the back of his neck and glanced up at Nori sheepishly. "I may have been, perhaps, a little hasty with my objections."  
"Dori?" Thorin said, turning his attention.  
Dori shuffled nervously. "I, too, was maybe too eager to fall back on past hurts instead of considering recent kindnesses."  
"Dís?"  
Dís held her hands up as though she hadn't wanted to be a part of it in the first place. 

Thorin crossed his arms. "The final decision is mine to make, but I believe Nori has already made my point for me. The plan stands--we stop in Rivendell."

There were many nods exchanged amongst the company, some in assent and others in apology. Guilty and fraught looks were exchanged for kinder, more understanding ones. It was notable that the ending to the Rivendell debate also effectively ended the party itself: Dwalin and Dís rapidly took their leave, as did Nerithel, Daerbes, many of the dwarves from Ered Luin, Bifur, and Rorimac. 

Thorin turned his attention to the Brothers 'Ri. 

"This matter is more personal, amongst kin, but I will mediate if you wish it of me," he said. "Any road, I strongly suggest you discuss it after a good night's sleep and far less ale."

Dori grumbled, but acquiesced. "Then we shall discuss it tomorrow, just the three of us."  
"I don't need to discuss it," Nori said. "Ori is of age. If this is truly his wish, I will not try to stop him."  
Dori looked aghast. "How can you say that?"  
"Ori has faced the horrors of war, the same as you and me. He may always be our baby brother, sure, but I don't know if you've noticed he's not an actual baby any longer."  
"Don't be ridiculous! Of course I can see he is not a baby!" Dori huffed.  
"Can you?" Ori asked quietly.  
Dori looked down at the ground and said nothing.

Nori approached Ori and rested their foreheads together. "'Night, brother."  
Next, he clapped Dori on the shoulder and squeezed. Dori reached up and clasped his wrist in a show of affection.  
"You, too," Nori said. "I'll see you both in the morning."

Unabashedly holding Nîfon's hand, Nori left The Green Dragon.

Dori cleared his throat. "Well. Yes. I suppose I'll see everyone in the morning, won't I? Thorin, Ori, Thodora, Chadham, I bid you all a good night."

He turned to leave, but Ori tugged at his elbow. He glanced back and caught Ori's eye for a long moment. Granting a small smile, he reached up and held Ori's shoulder. 

In an affectionate, older brother's tone, Dori said, "You get yourself some rest, now."

Dori left for his room with Óin in step right alongside him. Thorin was watching after them, wondering how _that_ became a thing, when Ori spoke up. 

"You will not try to dissuade me?" he asked Thorin.  
"It is not my place to rule over your heart. Besides," Thorin smiled kindly at Thodora and Chadham, "I know too well the appeal of hobbits. I wouldn't have a chance were I to try."  
"Thank you, Your Highness," Chadham said.  
Thodora did a small curtsy. "Yes, thank you."  
Thorin shook his head dismissively. "You're courting one of my bravest heroes, now, so I must insist you call me Thorin."  
"Okay...Thorin," Thodora said with a giggle. 

Thorin bowed deeply to the trio. "And now, if you will forgive me, it has been quite a night, and it followed a tiring day."  
"Oh, of course!" Ori replied. "Good night."  
Thodora and Chadham offered their goodbyes, too. 

Trudging up the stairs, Thorin paused and considered for a moment calling on Bilbo for a nightcap and a cuddle. Remembering Bilbo might be having his talk with Bofur at this very moment, Thorin chose to keep walking. He used the water closet, unclothed for bed, and fell into it with an exhausted thud, wondering how he could have thought he had the energy to even get to Bag End tonight in the first place. He happily (if sleepily) noted the bedding still smelled of his love. Missing Bilbo's warmth to go along with the scent, he pulled the blankets closer.

"Maybe I'll go see him in the morning," Thorin murmured to himself. 

He breathed in deeply, dropping a hand between his legs with an intent to have a wank, and was asleep before he could even conjure up an appropriate fantasy. 

*****

Bofur kneeled in front of Bilbo, looking up at him. Engaged in a kiss with Kili, Bilbo's eyes were closed, but Bofur desperately wished them open. He needed to _see_. Bofur had been here one time before, exactly like this: hair loosed and sitting at Bilbo's feet, ready to touch, to give, to kiss, to _love_...only to be denied, and with no word why for a long time after. A trembling hand reached out now as it had then, smoothing up Bilbo's thigh. Bofur heard him gasp and Bilbo's eyes fluttered open, peering down.

Seeing Bofur below him sharply reminded Bilbo of a similar time. Bofur still wore the same, heated-yet-hopeful gaze, only this time there was also trepidation. Bilbo extended his arm to thread his fingers into Bofur's hair, smiling tenderly. Bofur relaxed into his touch as though Bilbo had relieved an enormous burden. 

"You are beautiful like this," Bilbo told him. His grin turned lascivious. "But you might be even more beautiful with your lips wrapped arou- _oh!_ "

Bilbo was unable to finish his suggestion before Bofur granted his wish. Bofur slurped at the head of his cock, moving down for a long lick from his stones to his tip. He did that twice more before taking Bilbo's length into his mouth as far as it would go...then dropping back his tongue and taking it the rest of the way. 

Bofur's fear dissipated when he saw the love as well as the want in Bilbo's eyes this time. When Bilbo touched his hair, Bofur felt as though Bilbo had simply _known_ the worry Bofur carried inside. The sweetness of Bilbo's smile swelled his heart, but when it turned flirtatious, Bofur felt it down to his stones. Bilbo didn't have to ask twice for Bofur to be spurred into action--he barely had to ask once! Bofur's heart hammered in his chest in time with the pulse throbbing in his prick. The desire had always been there but more than anything, Bofur had wanted leave to kiss and touch, to share affection as well as titillation. There had only been one other person to affect him this deeply--to make such a filthy act seem like such intimate reverence--and he was betrothed to him. 

Kili watched Bilbo experience Bofur's mouth with curious, excited interest, relishing the pleasure dancing across Bilbo's face and wondering what Bofur was doing to draw forth the more interesting noises. 

Fili's arms held Bilbo around his middle, stroking one and then the other down his hip and back up again. He watched Bofur over Bilbo's shoulder and observed the movements that made Bilbo's muscles ripple and tense so delightfully under his fingers. Bofur looked up at them, first meeting Bilbo's eyes and then catching Fili's. Fili knew logically--at least, with everything he had ever been taught--he should be jealous watching his intended so eagerly swallow another. Instead, he wondered what Bilbo would feel like on his own tongue, or what it might feel like to get fucked by Bofur with a hot mouth attending to his prick. 

Kili squeezed Bofur's shoulder. "Stop," he said gently. "He's too close."  
"Isn't that the point?" Fili asked.  
"If this was to be a quick suck session, sure, but this is a little more special," Kili said.  
Bofur stood, asking, "What did you have in mind?"  
Kili shared a look with Bilbo. "More of the same, or whatever else we come up with, but I think we should stop before the finish...at least the first couple times, enough to draw it out."  
Bilbo rolled his eyes in bliss and dropped his head back onto Fili's shoulder. "Merciful Eru," he moaned.

Bofur recalled Bilbo mentioning Kili's prowess before. Bilbo had said Kili usually either teased him out for ages or made him come again and again. Although Bofur would have liked one of the "again and again" sessions, seeing Bilbo shivering and keening in frantic anticipation also had a particular appeal. 

"Switch me?" Fili asked.  
Replied Bofur, "Absolutely."  
"What about you?" Fili asked Kili.  
Kili stood up on the bed, steadying himself at the bedpost closest to the nightstand, in case he needed something more solid for footing.  
Seductively, he said to Bilbo, "Come, stand in front of me." 

Kili widened his stance until his cock was at Bilbo's mouth (if Bilbo bent over a bit). Fili sank to his knees, backed up to the bed but still able to do what he needed to. Bofur pressed himself to Bilbo's back, relishing the feeling of Bilbo's flesh against him. 

Bilbo felt Fili's tongue glide over him in both small and long licks, giving him goosebumps.  
Bofur whispered in his ear, "Aye, you're in for a right treat. This one can suck your soul out of you."

Fili spent several moments swirling his tongue and bobbing just on Bilbo's tip, enough that Bilbo thought he might scratch himself out of his skin if he didn't get more, soon. When Fili finally pulled him in, the ride grew tight, steady, and somehow more maddening. Bilbo momentarily forgot Kili was standing on the bed, hard, and waiting for some attention. 

Bilbo pitched forward, steadying a hand against Fili and wrapping his lips around Kili's prick. Bilbo matched Fili's rhythm and tried guessing his technique when something felt particularly good. It was mostly suction and speed in which Fili excelled, though, and when Bilbo managed to lock into it, for a moment he felt as though he was sucking his own prick. He felt his orgasm building, the double thrill of filling and being filled combined with hot, wet kisses down his spine being almost too much to bear. Abruptly, Fili released his cock and moved on to kissing his hipbones. Pausing with Kili, Bilbo glanced down.

Without looking up to witness the confused, irritated, needy look on Bilbo's face, Fili said (in between kisses), "You were getting terribly close, Bee."  
Kili panted, "So was I. I'm not ready to finish, either, though."

Bilbo sucked in another breath as Bofur reached the crevice in between his buttocks and licked the length of the separation.  
Feeling him tense under his fingers, Bofur asked, "Is this okay?"  
Bilbo glanced up at Kili.  
Kili couldn't see for himself specifically what Bofur was doing with Bilbo in the way, but he could guess. "Don't look to me, Bee. Do what _you_ want."  
Bilbo licked his lips and closed his eyes. "Yes, it's--please."

Bilbo felt Bofur spread him open, running his tongue deeper this time. He repeated the long, sweeping motion four times, shortening it on two more passes, and finally stopping in favor of massaging at his opening. As lovely as it was, Bilbo found himself willing Bofur to go further. It struck him funny how two weeks ago he was avoiding Bofur's kisses, but now he was desperate for Bofur's tongue inside his arse.

Bofur thought for a moment he had gone too far, but then Bilbo allowed it--said "please," even. Licking him so intimately sent tingles through Bofur's body. His cock was hard, dripping, and (so far) neglected, but he scarcely cared. He had waited so long for leave to touch Bilbo. There would be plenty of time for getting himself off later, when Bilbo's hole wasn't quivering under his tongue. Bofur wondered if he could go further, if he could get away with dipping his tongue inside. As though Bilbo had heard his thought, Bilbo pushed back against him. Bofur waited for Bilbo to do it again, to make sure. When Bilbo rocked back a second time, Bofur split him with his tongue.

Fili kissed Bilbo's thighs and stomach as Bofur unveiled his skill. Bilbo gasped and moaned while Bofur occasionally pulled in deep breaths in order to continue his task. Reaching around Bilbo's hips, Fili took a handful of each cheek and pulled wide, giving Bofur easier access without suffocation. Bofur's happy grunt was met by Bilbo's ecstatic one as Fili pulled his cock in his mouth again. 

Bilbo's eyes flew open when Fili spread him for Bofur, then slammed shut again when Fili's sinful mouth went back to work. He reached out, clutching at Kili's thigh. 

"Good, my jewel?" Kili teased, lazily stroking his cock.  
Bilbo groaned, "Gods, oh _gods_ , Kee!"

He pushed Kili's hand aside and replaced it with his mouth. Bilbo matched Fili's movements again, this time slower and more even paced. Kili rewarded him with moans of enjoyment and a loving hand cradling his head. 

Fili holding Bilbo open for him freed up the use of Bofur's hands. Though Bofur would have liked to blame his next bold move merely on his idleness, he knew his desire went beyond that. Bofur's tongue didn't reach far enough, deep enough to truly make Bilbo quake. He reached up to the nightstand and dipped a finger in the oil. He licked Bilbo again, leaned back, and rubbed him with the slicked digit. If Bilbo froze or tightened, Bofur planned to stop, but if he didn't? It was almost too thrilling to contemplate. Bofur pressed against him with a hint more purpose and Bilbo--that gorgeous, filthy hobbit!--raised his pert little bottom for more. Half-expecting to come untouched on his own thigh from the excitement of it all, Bofur slipped a full finger inside Bilbo. 

Bilbo felt it when Bofur's ministrations changed. He had done this often enough to know the difference between a tongue and a digit, even while his senses were being overwhelmed with Kili's taste and Fili's mouth. That same onslaught, however, had managed to elude any reason Bilbo might have had to object. Somewhere, fuzzily in the back of his mind, he knew Bofur was waiting for a signal of consent. Without consulting with said fuzzy mind, his body gave Bofur the signal he awaited. Bilbo gasped as he was penetrated. He pulled his mouth off Kili to catch a breath. Kili and Thorin had touched him like this so often, he had grown used to the comfortable intimacy of such an act with them. It came as a surprise to Bilbo how new it seemed, how vulnerable he suddenly was. Though Bofur hadn't yet begun to truly explore, Bilbo felt his orgasm begin to build again.

Kili cradled Bilbo's head in one of his hands, his lover clearly overtaken by current pleasures. He massaged the back of Bilbo's neck. Feeling his muscles tighten instead of relax, Kili knew Bilbo was close to finishing. 

Fili moved a hand holding Bilbo open to get a better grip and bumped into Bofur's hand instead of his face. Reaching around further, he felt where Bilbo was currently stretched around one of Bofur's fingers. " _Oh, that naughty dwarf_ ," Fili thought. No wonder Bilbo's fervor had increased! He could feel it, too, that Bilbo was near spilling. He eased off and Bilbo whimpered. 

"I think it is time to give Bee a moment and switch again," Fili said.  
Replied Kili, "I was about to say the same."

This time, Bilbo didn't protest about not being able to finish.  
He glanced up at Kili. "You okay?" he asked, somewhat shakily.  
"Quite," Kili grinned. "You?"  
Bilbo nodded. "Are you getting...enough?"  
"Don't worry about me. What you are doing is quite lovely. This is a gorgeous view," Kili flirted. 

Fili kissed Bofur deeply when they traded places. In his ear, only for Bofur, he whispered, "I know what you were doing and it makes me so hard."  
"Me too," Bofur whispered back lewdly.  
Fili smacked him on his arse and scooted in behind Bilbo. 

Bofur began first, merely placing wet kisses along Bilbo's shaft, giving him some distance from his last swell of near-orgasmic stimulation. He could tell by Bilbo's breathy moans when Fili had decided to join in. 

Bilbo was floored by the intimacy of Bofur touching and licking him somewhere so private, but there was no descriptor for Fili. Bilbo had never been explored by someone to whom he hadn't felt a deep romantic attachment. It felt taboo somehow, tantalizingly deepened by the thought that it was Fili, brother to one husband and nephew of the other who more or less could be. Locked away, submerged so low he barely allowed himself to think it, he harbored a secret desire to imagine himself as a whore of the House of Durin. It came to him for the first time when Kili suggested Thorin share their bed for an afternoon, and again when Fili had cornered him while he was tagging mathoms. He allowed himself to briefly think of it again now, as Fili was licking into him, and he felt his cheeks flush scarlet with delightful shame. 

Although the present oil on his tongue was a bit annoying, Fili endeavored to give Bilbo a good first impression. Any strangeness he felt at Bilbo not being someone with whom he was deeply in love was well and overridden by his libido, which spurred him urgently onward. Fili had licked his share of pricks before Bofur, but had never been privy to these more illicit pleasures until Bofur...and Kili's and Bilbo's secrets and lessons. This new world Bofur had shared with him, that the other couple had helped to show them, had awoken something in Fili he hadn't known was there. His territorial surge earlier with Kili was part of it, and a surprise. Making Bilbo squirm like this was another part, too, and he wanted more. 

Kili could have easily finished in Bilbo's mouth at least three times already. He had been forcing himself back from the brink as they had been doing with Bilbo. Finding himself enveloped by that warm, slick heat again, Kili closed his eyes and let his head fall back. He kept himself steady with one hand on the bedpost while the other rested on the back of Bilbo's head, feeling him move against him. 

Bofur had only just begun to slide Bilbo in and out of his mouth when something caught his eye. It was Fili's arm, reaching up for the oil dish. He closed his eyes and moaned around Bilbo's cock. 

Bilbo felt a finger slip inside him and his forbidden fantasies broke loose inside his head. 

Fili felt Bilbo take one digit easily--Bofur had started in on him already, after all. He reached up to slick another finger and felt a tap on his thigh. One of Bofur's hands came into view and made a gesture. Fili understood Bofur wanted him to soak himself with more oil, and almost could have come when he sussed out why. 

Kili moaned, Bilbo sucking him more wildly, not seeming to care about matching Bofur's rhythm at all. Head still back and eyes still closed, he missed everything going on below Bilbo's waist.

Bilbo felt himself breached two fingers wide, this time with more movement, more purpose. As though Fili was communicating with him somehow, Bofur slowed his lips, allowing Bilbo to truly sense Fili's favors. The better it felt, the more he gorged himself on Kili. 

Bofur cupped Bilbo's stones, caressing back further, reaching up until he could feel Fili. Swirling his finger against the two Fili had coated but not used, Bofur gently rubbed the opening wrapped around his lover's digits. Bilbo shivered but did not stop moaning or moving either one. He pressed in, feeling Bilbo wrapped hot and tight around his and Fili's fingers together. Bofur felt a dizziness seeming to emanate from his chest and not his head. Touching Bilbo like this, doing it concert with his Fili--Bofur had certainly dreamed of such erotic, filthy acts, but he was wholly unprepared for the ardency of the experience. 

Bilbo choked on Kili's prick when he felt Bofur push inside him with Fili. He leaned his forehead against Kili's leg, vocalizing tones both long and broken. Fili and Bofur inside him together was obscene, invasive, and the unexpected loss of control was more exhilarating than he could have guessed. As he was explored, stroked, patted, and rubbed within, he stopped thinking about his emotions or their past experiences, stopped considering the ways his lovers felt different and the same, and even ceased his imagining. Everything within him had boiled down to one, burning need.

"Kee, I need to be fucked," he rasped.  
"Okay," Kili agreed, bouncing down to his knees on the bed. 

Fili and Bofur gently withdrew and Bilbo fell shakily forward, bracing his arms on the mattress. 

Kili scooted to the edge to help him up. Bilbo was stunned, trembling, and glassy-eyed. Kili smiled mischievously. If the three of them had already gotten him this riled, Bilbo would be coming around him in no time at all. Kili himself felt the ache of denial and was quite ready to give Bilbo what he asked for. 

"Now," Bilbo croaked in desperation. 

Kili arched over to dip his fingers in the slick, reaching around Bilbo to prepare him. Bilbo abruptly stopped his arm, looking up at Kili with wide, wild eyes.  
"They prepared me, Kee. They _stretched_ me," Bilbo confessed, breathless.

Kili glanced up at Fili and Bofur, his expression unreadable. "Is this true? You--you opened him? Just now?"  
Fili's pride and Bofur's confidence both wavered, each one worried they had violated one of the boundaries of the agreement.  
"Yes," Bofur said carefully.  
"Please, Kee. I need it," Bilbo begged.  
Kili's bright grin spread across his face.  
"That's so fucking hot," he said, smearing the slick on his cock. 

Bofur and Fili both exhaled in relief, while Bilbo was too far gone to have worried in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for everything! Part 1 of this story just passed 60,000 hits and that seems so crazy to me! It started as a cracky one-shot that I thought maybe 20 people might read. Love you.


	52. 3 Versus 1 Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo strangled a cry and Kili followed it with a happy moan, drawing the other couple's attention.
> 
>  
> 
> Fili raised his eyebrows. "Shall we?"  
> "We'd better, if there is to be anything left," Bofur joked.

_"They prepared me, Kee. They stretched me," Bilbo confessed, breathless._

Kili felt a stabbing flash of jealousy, not because they touched Bilbo in such a way--Bofur and Fili taking it upon themselves to prepare Bilbo for him introduced Kili to a new, exciting perversion he was eager to explore--but because Bilbo had so easily allowed it. Kili heard no argument or justification like he had all those times at Beorn's when Bilbo refused to be penetrated by anything other than Kili's tongue. There hadn't even been a conversation!

_"Is this true? You--you opened him? Just now?"_  
_"Yes."  
"Please, Kee. I need it."_

With Bilbo clutching at him, begging, understanding dawned and Kili's jealousy faded as quickly as it had risen. _This_ was why, back then, Kili was denied. Bilbo had told him at the time it was too much of a temptation, that he did not trust himself to leave it at merely Kili's fingers inside him. Kili, of course, always argued that it was fine by him but Bilbo had been adamant about waiting to bond. Here, now, he had a bond-mate to take care of him when those invasive touches drove him mad. Bilbo gave himself over to the pleasure, trusting in Kili to take care of him when he needed to be truly filled. Kili smiled broadly.

"That's so fucking hot," he said, smearing the slick on his cock.

Kili spread himself out on his back. "Come here, allow me to hold you so they might please you, too."

Bilbo lay with his back to Kili's front and his feet on the bed to allow some freedom of movement. Wrapping his arms around Bilbo's middle, Kili allowed him to guide him until he pressed far enough inside to stay on his own. 

Fili had been watching the physical negotiations and the first few strokes of the lovemaking happening within arm's distance when Bofur grabbed him and kissed him passionately. As they parted, both of Bofur's hands were wound in the hair on either side of Fili's head. Bofur rested their foreheads together lovingly.

"What was that for?" Fili murmured.  
Replied Bofur, "What _wasn't_ it for?"  
Fili grinned. "Good answer."

Bilbo strangled a cry and Kili followed it with a happy moan, drawing the other couple's attention.

Fili raised his eyebrows. "Shall we?"  
"We'd better, if there is to be anything left," Bofur joked. 

Fili starting at one of Bilbo's knees and Bofur at the other, they kissed and nibbled their way up each side of his body, each taking care to give a few tender touches to Kili's legs and arms as they moved. 

Bofur spent some extra time at Bilbo's navel ring, something he had longed to do since the day he found out Bilbo had one. The piercings in Bilbo's nipples--one especially for him!--taunted Bofur. He knew they were new and fresh, but how he wished to pull them in his mouth for a taste. He licked a circle around one of the rings before risking a small flick to the raised bud, only along the very crest, making Bilbo sigh out his name sweetly. Waiting for these to heal was going to be an exercise of incredible patience, indeed. 

Fili brushed teasing fingertips down Bilbo's shaft. Bofur noticed and feathered touches along Bilbo's bollocks and inner thigh.

Bilbo groaned. "Stroke me. _Finish_ me," he pleaded.

"Or perhaps something better?" Kili purred, still pushing in and out of Bilbo. "Perhaps you are ready to confess another hidden desire?"  
Bilbo gulped a breath to have enough air to finish a sentence. "With the addition of Fee, I have new ones, too."  
"But there's still that special one, isn't there?" Kili pressed.  
Intrigued, Fili asked, "What's this?"  
Kili whispered in Bilbo's ear. "Go ahead, my jewel. Tell him."

Bofur found it endearing that even after their fingers inside Bilbo, their lips around his cock, and Bilbo being very plainly fucked before their eyes, Bilbo could still manage to appear bashful. It made his cock harder and his heart go soft.

"I want," Bilbo began, "I want to finish in your mouth, Bo, while Kee drives me wild from behind."  
Bofur was already moving toward Bilbo's cock. "And this has been a desire of yours?"  
"Since at least Rivendell," Kili said.  
Still the polite hobbit, even in mid-fuck, Bilbo said, "Not meaning to exclude Fee, of course."  
Fili gave Bilbo an tender kiss. "Don't worry about me. I've got some plans of my own."

Bilbo cried out when Bofur took him in his mouth. 

"Not too fast, yet," Fili told Bofur.  
"But not too slow," Kili warned. "I've been close since I was standing on the bed, and I'm not about to finish until I can pound Bilbo to his."

Fili dipped his fingers in the oil dish and perched behind Bofur. He had no plans to tease; the two of them had waited long enough. 

Bofur slowed his technique, drawing it out by shortening his strokes and loosening his lips. Bilbo shivered under his hands and he could feel each rock of Kili's body. His eyes followed Fili to the nightstand and back, until Fili's position behind him removed him from view. Fili meant to take him, then. One finger pressed inside, then another. It seemed Fili wasn't going to make him wait and that suited Bofur fine. 

Kili whispered endearments and filth into Bilbo's ear while he pumped him with agonizing slowness. He caught Fili's eye as he prepared his own lover, the sting of his brother's claim fresh on his neck. Fili shifted, lifted Bofur's hips, and gave Kili a nod. _"Now_ ," it said. 

Fili pushed into Bofur, pitching him forward. Bofur grunted and swore, face buried in Bilbo's hip as Fili fucked him, Bilbo's body moving under him in time with Kili's thrusts. Bofur pulled Bilbo's cock back in his mouth, sucking him this time with purpose. 

"What say you, Bee?" Fili panted. "Does Bo come with my cock in his arse or does he come on your tongue?"

Bofur squeezed his eyes shut and moaned. He did not want to be the last one to come, but Bilbo hadn't been the only one with a secret desire. Fili had known Bofur wanted that for a long, long time. Though Bofur was desperate for his own relief, he found himself listening closely for Bilbo's answer, nonetheless. 

"My mouth! _Gods, yes_ , my mouth!" Bilbo whimpered. 

Not needing to pace himself for Bofur's pleasure, Fili found his orgasm quickly. Surging forward, he bit into Bofur's back while he spilled in hot bursts. 

"Bee, say you're close," Kili begged. "I need you to say you're close."

Bilbo's hands were both massaging into Bofur's hair, tightening and loosening. Kili was riding his sweet spot and Bofur was just _too good_. 

Nodding frantically, Bilbo croaked, "Close."

Bofur did not slow his mouth when Fili came, not even when the electric, comforting bliss of his imprint renewed through his limbs. He was determined to taste his Bilbo at long last...and the hastening of Bofur's own chance at orgasm wasn't far from mind, either. With the hands in his hair tightening one last time, Bilbo pulled him forward as he unloaded on Bofur's tongue. The sounds Bilbo made were always magnificently erotic, but Bofur thought being the one to bring him there this time made them sound sweeter. 

Kili had been holding on, fighting the final swell as long as possible, until Bilbo could reach his peak. When he felt Bilbo tip off the edge, Kili let himself follow. His came so intensely it nearly hurt--a favorite of his. He wore an open mouthed smile through the final pulses, holding Bilbo tightly against his chest and sighing his name. When it was over, he let all his limbs sprawl against the bed.

"By the Maker, that was great," he sighed happily. 

Bilbo was already on the move, Bofur not forgotten. He pushed Bofur on his back, his head at the foot of the bed, laying his whole body on top of his. He kissed him deeply, tasting himself. It was glorious. He nipped, kissed, and sucked at Bofur's neck, leaving a love bite there on his way to his ear. 

"Do you want this slow or fast? I had always imagined it would be slow and loving, but the thought occurs I've barely put a hand on you and your orgasm is quite overdue."

Bofur reached up with both hands and gently moved Bilbo's face to where he could look him in the eyes. "You had always imagined? You've spent time thinking about this?"

Fireglow reflecting on Bilbo's face, he nodded with a smile. Bofur kissed him again. 

"So?" Bilbo asked.  
"I'm about to crawl out of my skin, I want you so madly. Slow sounds amazing but..."  
"Fast, then," Bilbo said, kissing his way down Bofur's furry chest. " _This time_."  
Reaching Bofur's cock, Bilbo peeked up at Fili. "And next time, yours is mine, too."  
"Kee, you've been too selfish with him," Fili joked. 

Bofur didn't hear the reply, because Bilbo engulfed him without ceremony. Bofur wound the blanket in his fists and curled his toes as Bilbo went to work. It was outstanding--truly, Bilbo's skill matched Fili's--and Bofur wondered for a moment what slow would have felt like. He didn't have long to ponder before the familiar, delicious tightening began low in his abdomen. He licked his lips, still able to taste Bilbo on his tongue, and felt his climax grow nearer, nearer, nearer. He finally let go with a silent scream, locking every muscle in his body as he spurted shot after shot into Bilbo's eager, plush mouth. Bilbo stayed with him until after the shuddering stopped. Bofur allowed himself to become lost in the moment, cataloging and memorizing every nuance he could. It was the end of a very long wait--and the beginning (hopefully) of a new, glorious journey. 

Bilbo drank Bofur, wave after wave, wondering for a moment if it would ever stop. He always adored this moment, that vulnerable point when his lover would completely let go for him, allowing him one of the ultimate intimacies--taking that person's seed into his body. Doing it by mouth didn't leave a permanent bond or a mark, but it changed things in its own way. It was difficult to go backwards in a relationship when someone had come in his mouth. It carried its own particular, peculiar beauty...and responsibility. 

"I've got to tell you, Bee, I'm impressed. Bo was so floored he hardly made a sound--he couldn't even conjure any filthy talk," Fili said.  
Bilbo sat up, looking perplexed. "Well, perhaps next time I should try harder, then?"  
Fili shook his head. "Look, he still can barely move. I'm not sure if I'm jealous or if I'm anxious for my try."  
"Don't be jealous," Bofur croaked.  
Fili laughed and bent forward to steal a kiss. "Only for a moment, my sweet Bo, because you know I'm going to be taking that turn."  
Fili glanced up at Kili. "That is, if we are welcome again?"  
Kneeing his way across the bed, Kili smoothed his knuckles down Fili's face. Teasing gently, he said, "Did you pay any attention to what we said beforehand or were you simply planning on how to molest my husband?"  
"We did," Fili said softly, "But sometimes you don't truly know or understand the depth of a situation until you're in it. One of us could have gotten jealous, or upset, or uncomfortable. I, uh, hadn't planned on giving you that mark and maybe Bilbo might not have liked that. Maybe Bofur wouldn't have liked Bilbo kissing me, or me touching Bilbo."  
Concerned, Kili glanced back at Bilbo. "Now that the blood has slowed, is that true? For any of us?"  
Bilbo shook his head. "Bo?"  
"No. To tell the truth, it is all much more arousing in the flesh than it had been in my mind," Bofur said.  
Fili grinned. "There's my Bo."

Kili turned back to Fili, still touching his face, and pressed a kiss to his lips. He did it a second time, slightly opening his mouth, and a third time, with a soft flick of his tongue against Fili's bottom lip. 

Leaning back, he said, "This, the four of us, has grown into something special. Could I have handled it if it had happened in the tents after the battle? If it had happened at Beorn's even? I don't honestly think I could have. To my bones, I believe it has taken everything we've gone through, all of us, to be here like this."  
"I know what I said before," Bofur said, clearing his throat. "About saying this is going to be serious and changing your mind, but if bad blood starts to happen, if you--any of you--start getting upset, or what we had before starts to look like it might be in danger, that's something different altogether. Any of you, of us, needs to speak up immediately if this is making him angry or hurt. I love all of you too much for sex to lead to our ruin."

Bofur hastily wiped at a tear, trying to pretend it was never shed. 

"I promise, Bo," Fili said, moving to embrace him.  
"I promise, too," Kili added.  
Bilbo said, "Kee and I have learned our lesson too well about not being forthright with each other. I promise as well."

Bofur huffed a sheepish laugh and sniffed. "Bless me, I really know how to ruin a mood."  
Bilbo hugged him. "And spill a load," he teased. "Merciful Eru, I don't think I've ever swallowed that much."  
Bofur laughed for real this time. "I'm sorry!"  
"Don't be, it was rather quite nice," Bilbo said.  
"I'm rather fond of it myself," Fili said. He glanced around. "Well, now what?"  
Kili grinned. "Round two?"

*****

Bofur stood, leaning against the bedroom wall. He held Bilbo in his arms in an embrace, the hobbit's legs folded high on either side of his hips. Kili stood behind Bilbo, carefully pushing into him, testing the angle with the demands of gravity and trying not to hurt him.

"Your Kee certainly has some interesting thoughts about things," Bofur said.  
Humming in enjoyment, Bilbo said, "You have no idea."  
Shooting a look to Fili, who stood off to the side slowly stroking his prick, Bofur said, "Oh, but I think I do."  
Kili sighed with pleasure. "You feel so good, Bee. How is this for you?"  
Bilbo bit his lip. "I think it is going to be punishing in the most wonderful way. I can't help but weigh on you and that angle--Yavanna's grace!"  
Kili nibbled at Bilbo's ear. "That's what I hoped you would say."

Bilbo tightened his arms around Bofur's neck and claimed his mouth, moaning his delight into him with each well-placed stroke. He could feel Bofur's hands gripping his bum and one of Kili's arms around his waist to help hold him. His cock brushed Bofur's, both hard and ready, but only with enough friction to ruthlessly tease.

Bofur broke the kiss to suck in a breath. Bilbo pressed his face next to his.  
"Oh, Bilbo," Bofur breathed.

He kissed Bilbo's ear, moving down his neck with licks and bites, stopping at the soft junction of Bilbo's neck and shoulders. "My Bee," he whispered.  
"My Bo," Bilbo whispered back.

Bofur sucked a claim into Bilbo's neck to match the one blooming on his own. Warmth flooded him yet again as it had many times this night, his love and lust swelling as months of his wildest dreams came true, one after one, in his arms.

Bilbo mewled, his system flooded with sensation. Bofur claimed him his way while Kili was claiming him in his own. His head lolled back and he called Kili's name. Kili mouthed at Bilbo's nape. 

"I'm here," Kili murmured. "Right where I belong."

Bilbo craned his head back and Kili supported it with the hand that wasn't around his waist. Their lips clashed passionately, neither caring about the awkwardness of the bouncing or the position. 

Kissing Bilbo, Kili felt bare skin against his back, hands caressing each of his shoulders. He released Bilbo's mouth, more for the hobbit's own comfort than for a desire to cease the kiss. Fili pressed in closer, kissing his shoulder. They had always been affectionate and, while Fili's earlier intent about being Thorin's equal for Kili in the bedroom was unmistakable, the touches he was receiving now were not overtly sexual. Although Fili's erection brushed Kili's bottom as he held him, it seemed without tease or intent. 

Fili observed the trio in their filthy little chain, touching himself idly as it grew more interesting. As much as he loved being in the middle of things, it gave him an illicit thrill to observe. That wasn't his only pleasure, either. He could see from his vantage that Bofur and Bilbo were besotted. It was not news to him, of course, but to see them give in to it, to enjoy it, and to finally share it put him at peace. And yet...it was just as clear how mad for Kili Bilbo was. Through everything they had endured, through all of Bilbo's missteps (and some of Kili's), their love seemed to radiate from within them. Both of their rings caught the firelight, blazing with beauty as symbols of their devotion. Bilbo called out to his husband and Kili responded immediately, tenderly. Bilbo did his best to reach for him and Kili enveloped him in a kiss, inside him above and below. Fili had always been struck--from the very first time he was privy to their kisses and beyond--at what love such as this looked like. It seemed bizarre and out of place to suddenly feel a rush of sentimentality, but he found himself quite unable to help it. They were here, Bilbo having very recently kissed Fili's own intended while being fucked by Kili, but there it was--a sweetness in the middle of a haze of forbidden debauchery, because Kili's fondest wishes had come true. Bilbo was his, bonded and wed, and more besides.

He moved in behind Kili, giving him gentle touches and soft kisses on his skin. He whispered into Kili's ear. 

"Mark him, Kee. He's yours--so, so utterly yours."

Kili was close to it, his kiss with Bilbo having brought him closer still. Fili left his back, walked around front, and whispered something in Bilbo's ear that made him croon. 

Bilbo felt Fili on his right. The dwarf pressed his lips to his ear. "I was thinking I was going to suck you off, but there's no room. How about I stroke you until you come in my hand, instead?"

Bofur was wondering what Fili had said to Bilbo when Fili held up his palm. "Lick," Fili commanded. Bofur licked his palm sensuously, hoping to arouse them further. 

Fili pumped Bilbo's prick. "I'm wanking you off with my intended's spit while your husband fucks you. My, you're a filthy thing, aren't you?"

A bolt shot up Bilbo's spine when Fili started talking dirty to him. It reminded him again of his secret fantasy, so secret he had never even told Kili. Fili's words, every bit as much as his touch, brought Bilbo nearer to his orgasm. 

"Aye, he has come in his arse and down his throat this evening," Bofur drawled.

"Mm, yes, and possibly more besides. You did promise me a turn. I'll bet you'd like mine on your tongue as well tonight, wouldn't you? All three of us, coming in you. Gods, I'd bet you'd gag for it, like a right little whore."

Bilbo's orgasm unexpectedly slammed into him, each spurt shooting into the air between them and landing on Fili's hand. 

Kili's voice came from behind them. "Fuck, you didn't warn me! Durin's beard, you about broke it off!"

While Kili sped to his finish, Fili raised his hand to his mouth and licked the semen, making a show of it. Bofur opened his mouth and Fili fed him the last digit still coated. 

"C'mere," Bofur insisted.  
Fili complied, tonguing into Bofur's mouth for a needy kiss. 

Kili held Bilbo's body with both arms when he came, muffling his scream in Bilbo's skin. Immediately after, there was a different sort of noise muffled into his shoulder, far less pleasant.

"Cramp! Oh, leg cramp! Bo, make sure you have him," Kili said.

Bofur broke his kiss with Fili and held onto Bilbo firmly while Kili hobbled over to the bed. 

"I came so hard my muscle knotted," Kili said, laughing. 

Bofur put Bilbo down gently, filling his embrace with Fili next. 

"Naughty creature," he growled into Fili's ear. "You made him come with your mouth."  
"I could do the same for you, the fun way," Fili flirted, licking his lips exaggeratedly.  
"Oh no, you don't. I'm not going to be the only one of us with a squidgy bum tonight. You're getting fucked."  
Fili's lips spread into a self-satisfied grin.  
"And that's exactly what you wanted, isn't it?" Bofur said. "Tell me, how do I look, wrapped around your finger?"  
Fili climbed up on the bed on his hands and knees. Looking over his shoulder suggestively, he said, "Maybe you can tell me how I look wrapped around yours?"

As Bofur worked Fili open, Bilbo knelt at Kili's feet, rubbing his calf. "That was quite a knot. It will probably still be sore tomorrow."  
"Worth it," Kili proclaimed, pulling up for a kiss. 

Bofur gripped Fili roughly at the hip, quirking his lips with satisfaction at Fili's resulting moan. They had their share of slow, tender lovemaking, and Fili had certainly given Bofur some fantastically rough shags, but Fili was a slut for being relentlessly ravaged. After the cock-teasing he just endured, holding and kissing Bilbo through his orgasm, Bofur was ready to go and go hard. 

Fili felt Bofur tenderly kiss his spine. He grinned, knowing Bofur liked a little sweetness before he grew rowdy. Unkind fingers dug into Fili's hip and he audibly expressed his pleasure. In an instant, he was filled. Fili gasped with the burn and held on to the bedding while Bofur used his body fiercely. Suddenly, Bilbo was kissing him, pushing him back, taking him in. Bofur slowed only enough to get a grip across Fili's chest to hold him up. A luscious wetness surrounded Fili's cock, pulling a sound from him he did not recognize as his own. Understanding Fili's urgency, or perhaps it was Bofur's, that skilled mouth worked him surely, precisely, with one, unmistakable goal. So this was what it felt like, having two lovers, being attended to front and back! Between Bofur's savagery and Bilbo's efficiency, Fili could do no more than keen and howl to his finish. Bilbo didn't seem to miss a drop, either, which only made it more enticing. 

Bofur smirked into Fili's nape when Bilbo pushed him back. Having just experienced that mouth for himself, he knew he wouldn't be waiting long for Fili to come and come well. Fili was gibbering wordlessly within his arms, the two of them about to break him into pieces. Feeling the pulse of Fili's orgasm around him, Bofur sought and found his own. Fili went slack in his arms, pitching forward at the first few twitches. By the end, Bofur had followed him onto the bed, covering him, buried in him, sighing through the last throes of his bliss. Bilbo, thankfully, had already scrambled out of the way. 

Kili watched Bilbo and Bofur drive Fili mad, both proud and envious of the pleasure he was receiving. Fili looked beautiful when he was half-destroyed, something Kili had never stopped to fully appreciate. Bilbo backed away from Fili moments before Bofur let him go. Kili observed as Bofur cloaked Fili like a protective blanket, stroking his hair and murmuring soothingly into his ear. He had never seen Bofur so rough with Fili before, though Fili had once confessed to Kili that it had become one of his fondest pleasures. It pleased him to see Bofur so loving after a fuck as raw as that one had been. 

Bofur and Fili both seemed heavy and weary with their satisfaction. It pleased Bilbo fine. Although he had reasonable stamina, he was emotionally and physically drained from the events of the past two days. He suggested they have a quick clean-up and settle in for the night.

"Here? You want us to sleep here?" Bofur asked.  
"Of course," Bilbo said. "We're not going to banish you from this gorgeous bed after such ecstasy. That is, unless you want your own for sleeping?"  
Fili alone caught the quiver in Bofur's lips as he fought tears.  
"No," rasped Bofur. "Not at all."

Fili put his arms around Bofur when Bilbo and Kili sought supplies for comfort.  
"Why don't you sleep between Bilbo and me tonight?" Fili suggested.  
"I'd...I'd quite like that," replied Bofur.

Bofur's composure returned shortly after Bilbo did. Cleaned up, candles doused, and screen pulled closed on the dying fire, the four of them climbed into bed. Naturally, as though they did this every night, Fili cuddled into Bofur and Bofur and Kili both snuggled into Bilbo. There was a comfortable silence between them as they lay, each one retreating into their own minds on their way to sleep.

Fili replayed the events of the evening, wondering what amusing deviation might be next to try. He had some good ideas of his own, but also looked forward to repeating a few things--Bilbo tasting him while Bofur fucked him again was high on that list. He felt Bofur relax further beside him and gave him a loving nuzzle. There had been no doubt that Bofur loved him, that he had meant every word he said and would marry him the moment Fili agreed, but he knew he had never been alone in Bofur's heart. He pursued Bofur in spite of it, knowing and accepting it as a part of Bofur every bit as much as his beard. It only pained him when it pained Bofur, and it had pained him quite frequently in the previous weeks. He did not know what brought Bilbo and Kili to this decision, but he was glad for it. Bofur could stop his pining, and Fili now had permission to explore the fancies that had been teasing his cock since that wanton night in the woods.

Kili kissed Bilbo's shoulder and sighed contentedly. These new arrangements would be much better for Bilbo, not having to deny or fight his urges, and better for Kili, too. Once he had moved past his bitterness about Thorin, the idea of fucking Bilbo for an audience (and of being an audience for Bilbo's pleasure) had become a desire, if not an obsession. Actualizing these desires had additional benefits, too. Kili enjoyed tastes of what Bilbo had: Additional hands on his skin, the sensation of other mouths, and a faint promise of more besides. Fili's visceral jealousy of Thorin had been unexpected, too, feeding into Kili's other fascinations. Fili did not seem particularly interested in seducing him, though, after he possessively staked his claim. Intriguing.

Bofur was the only dwarf in the bed not thinking about the sex they just had. Happy tears slipped down his cheek, dampening the pillow, as he lay between the love of his life and the love he never thought he would be allowed, fulfilled and cherished. If Fili hadn't been holding him, Bofur could have sworn he would have floated to the ceiling. 

Bilbo held two of the people he loved and thought of the third, alone in his bed. Two nights he had left with Thorin, two nights to try and undo almost a year's worth of heartache. He wasn't sure how he was going to manage it, but he had to try. Kili kissed his shoulder on one side and Bofur held him tighter on the other, both relaxed and at peace against him. Here his mother had worried he'd be alone! 

Deep, steady breathing was the only sound in Bag End as the last of the lovers nodded off to sleep. 

*****

Bofur woke to kisses on his chest. He hummed and stretched, peeking down and expecting Fili, but seeing a messy, short bunch of sandy hair instead. Sleepily, he wondered for a moment if he was still dreaming when the prior evening flooded back to his mind. He glanced over to see Kili still sleeping and heard Fili still asleep on his other side. For the moment, it was just the two of them. After last night, it seemed almost silly to Bofur that he should have anything left to confess, but he felt like he had the whole of his heart on his tongue to share with Bilbo now that he seemingly had leave. Not ready to wake the others, he merely stroked Bilbo's hair in awe instead.

Bilbo hummed when he knew Bofur was awake, but did not stop expressing his affection. Bofur had taken such lovely care of him last night, petting him, doting on him, and he wanted to return the honor. He covered Bofur in kisses and licks--with the occasional bite--up and down his body, tracing his tattoos with his tongue, all the while artfully dodging the hardest part of him...which was jutting upward and silently begging for his favor. When Bilbo finally stopped there, he lavished it with agonizingly drawn out attention. 

Bilbo's mouth was on Bofur's cock and he was biting into his hand to keep quiet. Bilbo had toured the front of his body, languidly, making love to him with only his mouth and hands. From the moment Bofur woke up, he felt as though he was being thoroughly _adored_. 

"Well now, what's this?" Fili purred. "Have you two decided to start without us?"  
"Hmm?" Kili asked drowsily, rolling over and blinking open his eyes. He grinned as he caught on. "Oh, good morning, eh?"  
Bofur let go a moan he had been stifling. "A good morning and no mistake!"

Bilbo moved off Bofur, the private, sweet spell between them having been broken. 

He teasingly licked at Kili's cock. "Good morning to you, too."  
Climbing the other direction, he did the same to Fili. "And you."

Up on his knees, Kili grabbed Bilbo's torso from behind. "And who is going to say good morning to you?"

Bilbo giggled and squirmed, but Kili held him firmly. Bilbo's struggles ceased when Kili wrapped his fingers around Bilbo's cock and pumped. He hummed throatily.

"Is that nice?" Kili flirted. "Is that a good enough morning?"

Bilbo was still straddling Fili's legs when Kili had caught him, giving Fili a full view of Bilbo's body, arching into Kili's touch and flushing with pleasure. Kili paused to slick his hand, Bilbo crying out when he continued his stroke.

Bilbo whined Kili's name. "If you keep up, I'm going to come on Fee," he warned, teasing.  
"Yes, how about that?" Kili said dangerously.  
Bofur, knowing full well how much Fili loved comeplay (and suspecting Kili might, too), encouraged him. "I think I'd rather like to see that!"

Bofur rolled out of the way and Kili lifted Bilbo, depositing him on Fili's abdomen and straddling him right behind. They were both over Fili's hard prick--Bilbo's bum over the front half and Kili's own bollocks resting at the base. Fili rocked underneath them, searching for sensation and Kili rocked them both back, taking Bilbo in hand again. 

"Do you mean to-" Fili breathed. "Oh, _fuck_ , you are! Do it, Kee. I want to see it, I want to feel it splash against my skin."

Bilbo's head swam. Moments ago, he was smothering Bofur with kisses and now Kili was about to force an orgasm out of him and onto his brother's chest. He didn't even want to resist. 

Bofur watched Kili take control, expertly wringing Bilbo's release from him as Fili writhed under them in anticipation. Kili leaned them both forward when Bilbo came, ribbons of come arcing over Fili's face and chest, Bilbo grunting with each fresh stripe. Bofur dove forward, cleaning Fili with his tongue, giving him occasional kisses to share it. By the time Bofur finished, Kili had Bilbo on all fours, across Fili's legs and sideways on the bed. He was already fucking him. 

"Well, now," Bofur said jokingly, "I thought this 'good morning' was for me, wasn't it?"  
Fili rose on his knees and kissed Bofur obscenely. "It still can be."  
"Oh?"  
"Let me fuck you," Fili whispered. "And let him suck you."  
Before Bofur could reply with anything more than a moan, Bilbo panted, "Gods, yes, please." 

*****

Thorin woke up refreshed and exhilarated. Today was going to be a fantastic day--and an even better night. He bathed himself thoroughly and dressed simply, anticipating the need for both courtesies. Meeting up with Dís, he cajoled her into moving his morning commitments to the afternoon, stopped by the market for a basket of pumpkin bread and butter, and did his best not to visibly bounce to Bag End. He let himself in, dropping the basket on the hutch in the foyer. Sounds of sex drifted down the hallway and Thorin grinned wolfishly. Bilbo and Kili must already be at it--how convenient! Striding down the hall, he noticed the master bedroom door was open all the way. He stopped in his tracks when he realized Bilbo and Kili were not alone.

Kili had Bilbo bent over, fucking him. Bofur was on his knees in front of Bilbo, but held upright by Fili (obviously inside him) to grant Bilbo's mouth better access to his cock. Thorin's eyes flicked back to Fili-- _why was he there_? His brain raced, trying to make connections, justifications, for why Fili and Bilbo were naked in the same room. He had nearly consoled himself when three things happened in rapid succession:

\--Kili lurched forward with a yelp, coming. 

\--Bilbo bobbed furiously on Bofur's cock until Bofur cried out, coming as well. 

\--Bilbo scrambled up to his knees, grabbed the back of Fili's head, and kissed him deeply, a trickle of Bofur's semen dripping down Fili's jaw before Bilbo caught it with his tongue.

Thorin felt a wave of shock and nausea sweep over him. He staggered toward the bedroom door. 

"Fili?" he croaked. 

All four occupants of the bed stopped and turned to look at the very pale king, momentarily clinging to the door frame before turning and fleeing down the hallway.


	53. Clarification

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo and Fili explain.

Bilbo jumped off the bed, not bothering with modesty, and caught Thorin at the entrance to the foyer. He grabbed his elbow and Thorin faced him, looking lost.

Without a question from Bilbo, Thorin spoke shakily, "I felt badly about last night, so I cleared my morning to be with you. I brought that pumpkin bread you were wanting..." He gestured helplessly toward the basket on the hutch.  
"I told you I was planning to speak to Bofur last night," Bilbo said gently.  
"I know, but I didn't expect him to still be in bed with you--and Fili!" Thorin began to sound more like himself. "You neglected to mention you were adding him to your pile of lovers."  
"He's Bofur's Chosen, Thorin. We couldn't leave him out," Bilbo insisted.  
"You certainly left him out when you were meticulously outlining your plans to me."  
"I thought it was a given! Did you think I was going to lock Bofur's lover out in the hall?"  
"I don't know what I thought," Thorin said miserably, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Gods, Bilbo, I can't take this. How many more dwarrows will you decide you are in love with before the end?"  
Protested Bilbo, "I'm not in love with him! It is just as I said--you, Kili, and Bofur. Fili is just for play. Let's put it another way: Are you in love with Kili?"  
"No," Thorin said firmly.  
"But he's my partner, he is part of things. You seemed to be enjoying it fair enough when we were all together, when he was whispering lewd thoughts in your ear and kissing your neck?"  
"Yes," Thorin said cautiously.  
"Consider Fili my Kili, then, as our situations align."  
"Would you like me to do the same things to Kili as you do to Fili?"  
"If Kili wanted to," Bilbo stated.  
Thorin challenged, "You're so sure about that?"  
"Valar's sake, Thorin, you're talking like I'm fucking him. I'm not! Look, I've tried my best to put this all out in the open for all of you, even at the risk of you rejecting me. If I told you about Bofur, why would I keep Fili a secret? I wouldn't, and I didn't intentionally. I wanted you to make your decision knowing everything, but I suppose I wasn't as thorough as I had supposed," Bilbo said, frowning down at his feet.  
"I've intruded on your morning enough," Thorin said abruptly. "I should be going."

Bilbo pleaded, "Please, don't go like this." At the same time, Fili met them at the foyer, wearing Bilbo's dressing gown. 

"Thorin?" Fili said. "I'd appreciate a private word with you, when you two are done. Dining room?"

Bilbo looked between the two of them. "I'll give you both a few moments. Thorin, please, think about what I said and wait for me." 

*****

Thorin followed Fili to the dining room. Fili remained standing, also, when Thorin refused the offer of a chair.

"Thorin-" Fili started.  
Thorin interrupted him sharply. "-Are you in love with him too, Fili? Try to avoid lying this time, please."  
"I did not lie any other time. I'm not in love with him, not like the three of you are. He interests me sexually, though, and he did not exclude me from this arrangement with Bo. Did you really think he would?"  
Thorin glanced down and quickly back up. "I suspected something was amiss when you knew about their bedroom rules, but I don't know, I never thought you'd do this to me."  
"I'm not doing anything to you!"  
"No, you're just doing it to Bilbo," Thorin said icily.  
"Thorin, I'm not fucking him. How many cocks did you handle in the decades before you met Bilbo?"  
Thorin's eyes flicked down toward Fili's throat and back up again. "None that I cared for, none that married my brother, none that I traversed miles to be with, leaving both post and kingdom behind!"  
"Thorin, calm down, please. Bilbo told us you agreed to an arrangement where Bilbo might allow Kili, Bofur, and you to all kiss and touch him. If you can agree to Bofur, if you can actually share the bed with your own Kili, how is this so terrible?"  
Thorin didn't reply.  
"It is the surprise that is shaking you, that's all." Fili laid a comforting hand on Thorin's arm. "I assure you, we're only finding release and having a little fun. You, Bo, and Kee are the ones he's crazy about, not me."  
Fili noticed Thorin's frequent glances downward. "What are you looking at?"  
"You've got ejaculate on your collarbone," Thorin noted flatly.  
Fili started, looking down in a fruitless attempt to see it. "Huh?"  
"I think I need to go, now." 

*****

Bilbo sped into the bedroom, having just come from his wardrobe room. His shirttail half out, he frantically tied his trousers.

"Oi, where do you think you're going?" Bofur asked.  
"Thorin's leaving, I just know it, and I have to go after him," explained Bilbo.  
Bofur argued, "But we weren't done yet! It isn't even breakfast!"  
Bilbo stopped and looked at Bofur sympathetically. "I know, Bo, and I'm sorry, but I just got him back. I can't lose him again already."  
Kili stood and embraced him. "I know. You go and you do what you need to."  
"Kee! You can't be serious!" Bofur said.  
"We've got him all the time, Bo," Kili explained. "Thorin is leaving soon. The hurts between them have been great and their separation has been too long already."  
Bilbo said, "Please understand, Bo. I love you, I do, and I hope this is far from over with you, but I've made a big mistake somehow and I need for him to know his feelings matter."  
"I love you, too," Bofur said, conceding unhappily. 

Bilbo climbed up on the bed to kiss him gratefully before he left the bedroom. 

Kili was already putting on trousers and following Bilbo down the hall. 

Bilbo told him, "You could stay in bed with the others if you want."  
"Not much point if you aren't there, honestly," Kili said.  
Bilbo paused and held Kili's gaze.  
"Look, Kee," he said, fidgeting nervously. "That thing we talked about, when Thorin and I were alone again? I think--that is to say, today might-"  
Kili brushed his fingertips along Bilbo's cheek. "He is your lover and your bondmate. Take and give whatever comfort you need to while you can. He has a long, cold journey home and will welcome any memory you can give him."  
Bilbo rolled his lips in, feeling as though he my weep with gratitude. "Oh, Kee. You are too good to me, to us. I love you so."  
Kili kissed him and held him close, tucking in the wayward shirt tail. "I love you, too. You've made me the happiest person in all of Middle Earth. All I want is for you to be happy, too."  
"You do make me happy."

They heard the front door slam shut, making Bilbo jump. 

Kili hurriedly kissed Bilbo's head. "And so does he, so go fix this thing. I'll see you later, after tea?"  
"Yes."  
"Go on, go. Quickly." Kili swatted his bottom. 

Bilbo grabbed the basket from the hutch and ran out the door. 

*****

Fili managed to miss both Bilbo and Kili as he headed back to the master bedroom, finding Bofur sitting there and sulking alone.

"Where did Kee and Bee go?"  
Bofur sat with his arms crossed, lost in thought.  
"Don't ask," he said. 

*****

"Thorin! Wait!" Bilbo shouted, running after him, not caring a whit for any neighbors that might be watching.

Thorin paused as soon as he heard Bilbo's voice, turning around, heart pounding. 

When Bilbo caught up, Thorin said stonily, "What are you doing? Why have you dressed?"  
"You, you cleared your morning for me, you said. I wanted to better explain, or at least spend it with you if you weren't mad." Bilbo looked at Thorin. "But you are still mad, aren't you?"  
Thorin crossed his arms. "Fili corroborated your story. He said it was only pleasure between you, not that I'm particularly comforted by it in the midst of this shock."

Bilbo examined Thorin's face, but couldn't read it. Something awful occurred to him. 

"Oh, gods! Was this enough for you to have initially said no? To have refused my proposal entirely?" he asked.

Thorin had left Bag End to calm down and organize his thoughts--not because he was finished with Bilbo completely--but he considered the question. Was Fili's inclusion enough for Thorin to walk away from Bilbo this time? Was it so different from what Thorin had been doing with Kili? Thorin reminded himself that at least Fili and Bilbo were only related by marriage. Bilbo was genuinely sorry and horrified by his oversight, having stopped instantly and chased after him. This wasn't Bilbo being some callow hedonist--Bilbo cared about his feelings. No, it was more than that, it had always been more than that. Bilbo _loved_ him. His gaze met Bilbo's. The hobbit's eyes had started to fill with tears and Thorin couldn't stand it. He rested his hands on Bilbo's shoulders. 

"You are a menace, you know that?" Thorin asked with a pained smile. "You surely must know I'm in far too deep, now. My answer is the same today as it was the day before yesterday, as it was after the battle, and as it was in Lake Town. It may yet be my ruin, Bilbo Baggins, but this heart belongs to you."

Bilbo smiled as he wept, tears spilling when his cheeks rose. Thorin embraced him tightly.

"Stil...no more lovers hidden under a rug or tucked away in any puzzle boxes, right?" Thorin asked.  
"No," Bilbo sputtered, huffing a sharp laugh of relief and holding him closer. 

Thorin let him go and wiped his tears. He attempted some levity. 

"How did I wind up consoling you in this situation, anyhow? It is shameful, really, you and your bewitchments."  
Bilbo regained some of his composure. "I had every intention of consoling you, I'll have you know."  
"Well, I'll still let you fuss over me and tell me how important I am to you if it will make you feel better," Thorin teased.  
Bilbo grinned, flooded with the greatest relief. "So, what now?"  
"Well, I see you've rescued the pumpkin bread, even in your haste--very hobbitlike of you to do so. Perhaps we shall find a place to enjoy it?"

Bilbo took Thorin's offered arm. It was a pleasantly crisp morning and, with each passing moment, the sun crept a little higher in the sky to grant them additional warmth. They stopped at the marketplace for something to drink with their picnic. Walking past the Party Tree, Thorin pointed out the copse of trees where he had hidden. 

"I searched for you there!" Bilbo exclaimed.  
"Would you hate me terribly if I told you I saw you looking for me and hid?"  
Bilbo frowned. "A little, but in light of what you forgave this morning, I suppose I can let it go."  
"Perhaps we'll stop there to eat our food and make me a happier memory of it," Thorin said. 

They picked a tree and sat at its base. Bilbo untucked the napkin from the basket, fixed a piece of bread for Thorin, and handed it to him. 

He said, "For what it is worth, I want to tell you again I'm sorry I didn't mention Fili when I explained about Bofur. I'm so used to thinking of them as a couple--please believe I did not omit him on purpose."  
"I believe you. This is new to my way of thinking, Bilbo, please understand. Even when it was 'just' Kili, it was one more than I had originally planned when I confessed my love for you. Adding Bofur, adding Fili--back when we were apart, I told you repeatedly I didn't care whom you bedded, or what the circumstances were, I said all you had to do was let me know if you wanted me and you could have me, remember?"  
"I remember."  
"So here we are, and you're giving me that chance, and I'm sure if I had any sense left I would be embarrassed that I'm this grateful for being one of four when at one time I could have been your husband, but Mahal help me, I am. I'm attempting to adjust to these new ideas. It is proving more difficult than I had thought, but I'm not giving up."  
"Is that still a wish of yours? Wedding me?" Bilbo asked.  
"Of course."  
Turning to face him, Bilbo said, "Then marry me."


	54. To Make You Feel My Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Thorin, I would be honored if you would marry me," Bilbo said.  
> "I never thought-" Thorin had to stop, his words catching in his throat. "A week ago, I thought it was over, and now, now--bless me in Durin's name! _You're_ asking _me_!"  
>  Bilbo kissed Thorin's knuckles. "Isn't it suitable that I should ask the dwarf I love to be my husband? I figured it was well past my turn to do so."

_Turning to face him, Bilbo said, "Then marry me."_

Thorin's chest clenched and his stomach felt as though it had flipped inside him. Bilbo beamed at him beatifically, blinking, so pure and sweet, Thorin was positive it had to be a jest. His heart pounded from merely hearing the words and though he did not find it a particularly good joke, their past considered, he played along. 

"Sure," Thorin said with a casual airiness. "Let's do it tomorrow."

He took a large bite of his buttered bread and chewed, smiling and shooting Bilbo a cheeky look.

Bilbo crossed his arms. He guessed Thorin wasn't taking him seriously. 

With a jaunty shake of the head, he countered, "Oh, you think you're funny?"  
"Where should we have the wedding, though?" Thorin continued, pretending he hadn't heard him. "Maybe on the roof of Bag End, standing on our heads?"  
This time Bilbo responded to Thorin's jesting more solemnly. "I was thinking we'd have it somewhere private, naked and making love while we spoke promises, just as I had said."  
Pausing, Thorin studied Bilbo. "Said when?"  
"When we came to you and put forth this arrangement."  
Thorin's brow furrowed deeper. "But I thought you just meant renewing our love. Bilbo, you are married already!"  
"And I'm bonded already, and I have a lover already, but I'm doing those things with more than one person. Think about it--we can wed, just the two of us. I don't need another big party and you've said yourself you're not ready to tell Dís. What's important are the promises we swear and the intent behind them." 

Thorin stared at him agog, a little blob of butter stuck in the hair on his upper lip, as it began to sink in that Bilbo was serious. Bilbo smiled adoringly, wiping the butter and licking it off his own knuckle.

Thorin sputtered, "But, but _Kili_!" 

He had a sudden memory of Kili from the other night, referring to Bilbo as _their_ husband. Surely not...

"Kili knows," Bilbo confirmed. "We've discussed you quite a bit since you've arrived, I'm sure you can imagine, and we've talked about this in particular. Kili and I both believe it was a tremendous oversight that I did not have two grooms on my wedding day. He's given his blessing."

Thorin sat speechless, still holding a forgotten piece of half-eaten pumpkin bread. Bilbo set it aside and held both his hands. 

"Thorin, I would be honored if you would marry me," Bilbo said.  
"I never thought-" Thorin had to stop, his words catching in his throat. "A week ago, I thought it was over, and now, now--bless me in Durin's name! _You're_ asking _me_!"  
Bilbo kissed Thorin's knuckles. "Isn't it suitable that I should ask the dwarf I love to be my husband? I figured it was well past my turn to do so."  
"It is more than suitable," Thorin said.  
Bilbo gazed at Thorin soulfully. "Tell me, then. Give me your answer."  
Thorin surged forward to embrace Bilbo, losing his balance, and toppling them both onto the leaf-covered ground. "Yes, my answer always has been and always will be yes."

Thorin claimed Bilbo's mouth in pure elation. He did not stop to marvel at how they got to this point, nor to worry about what would transpire when it was time to go East. He focused solely on the happiness of a moment he could scarcely believe was his to call his own. 

When they broke, Bilbo said, "Today. I want to do it today."  
Thorin exhaled joyfully. "Today," he repeated.  
"As soon as possible. We've waited long enough."  
Thorin was fit to burst. "I must agree."

Not wishing to tarry another moment (or give Bilbo time to come to his senses), Thorin scooted back to his knees, packing the basket. 

"Are the others still at Bag End?" he asked.  
"Yes."  
Thorin made a face.  
"How about the inn?" Bilbo suggested.  
Thorin helped Bilbo to his feet and stole another kiss. "Let us make haste." 

*****

Bilbo had asked for an opportunity to wash up and, remembering Bilbo's morning, Thorin did not argue. The initial shock had passed and now, with Thorin sitting alone, it seemed odd, untoward even, to do what they were about to do. Bilbo had spent last night with his husband and two other lovers, getting up to who knew what, and part of the morning getting up to other things which Thorin had witnessed, yet he was about to undress and twine his life with his.

"I'm ready," Bilbo said, interrupting Thorin's thoughts. 

Thorin swept Bilbo into his arms for a kiss. Bilbo's nimble fingers started in on Thorin's laces as they kissed and Thorin's trepidation rapidly melted away. They undressed each other slowly, carefully, until not a stitch was left. Bilbo's hands reached for Thorin's hair, eyes searching for permission as he removed a bead from one of Thorin's braids. With a wisp of a nod, the two of them shared a heated look as Bilbo loosed Thorin's bound hair. Bilbo bit into Thorin's neck, sucking the sensitive flesh until it shaded red. His lips moved downward, pausing to mouth and lick at Thorin's nipples before continuing lower. 

Thorin had felt the arousal pool at the tip of his cock as Bilbo was unwinding his hair. The unbinding was a deliberate and erotic act on its own, only compounded by what he knew was to follow. Now, Bilbo's traveling lips wrapped around the head while he hummed his approval, tasting the affect he had on Thorin. Bilbo licked and sucked him, switching from shallow to deep and back to shallow again. A wicked finger brushed his entrance, a hint only, and Bilbo's lips began their return across Thorin's body: his hip bones, his navel, his ribcage.

Bilbo kissed Thorin just above the heart. "Shall we make our promises now and consummate them after?"  
"I prefer your initial plan of sharing them while we make love."  
His voice like silk, Bilbo said, "Ready me for your vows, then."

Thorin aided Bilbo to lay back, kissing his flesh from neck to ankle, nudging him to roll over, and kissing him from ankle back to neck again. Thorin draped his body across Bilbo's, nibbling at his nape and whispering words of love into his skin. Bilbo rocked his bottom encouragingly. Using the oil from Bilbo's last visit, Thorin pressed fingers inside him, preparing him until he whimpered and quivered at his touch.

Ready for his lover, Bilbo rolled onto his back. His thighs were urged apart and Thorin pushed against him, pushed into him, rolling his hips slowly until he was inside as far as he could go. He looked into Bilbo's eyes, darkened with desire.

"Let us be married, Thorin," Bilbo said. "Speak your vows at last to me, just the two of us, naked and coupled."

Thorin leaned forward, covering Bilbo, moving within him with a luscious, even slowness. 

"Balin would have had us wed before all of Eastern Middle Earth, but being with you like this now, I don't know how I ever considered us doing this any other way. You are beautiful, perfect... _oh_." Thorin groaned, "Oh, yes, just like this."  
A sweet sigh left Bilbo's lips, his hands sliding down Thorin's back. "Gods, Thorin, you always feel so thick inside me. I crave it when we are apart."  
"Did you know," Thorin leaned down to kiss Bilbo's lips, "I had planned through my wedding vows a hundred times before we had gotten to the mountain? Had things been uninterrupted, had I not done the unthinkable, when we had that big wedding of Balin's, I might have promised to love you, to keep you, to protect you, to shower you will jewels and riches and make sure you lived in comfort all the days of our lives."

Thorin's rhythm did not break as he spoke. He pressed a kiss to Bilbo's collarbone before continuing. "Since the end of our betrothal, I've learned so much more about you. Though the knowledge was earned through biting, bitter heartache, today the things I promise are different."  
"Tell me," Bilbo panted.  
"I promise to listen to you, to respect the things that interest you even if I might not always want to do them myself, to live as your partner and not as your keeper, and to do everything in my power to make you laugh as often as possible. Know that I would still wish to shower you with jewels and make sure you lived in comfort, though, and the fierceness with which I love you has only grown. You should know, too, although I make you these vows with the intention of becoming your husband in heart and mind before we leave this room, in truth, I pledged myself to you in our bed in Lake Town."

Thorin captured Bilbo's mouth in a wet, lengthy kiss, both of them trading moans as Thorin continued to rock into him. 

Bilbo seized Thorin's head in his hands, staring up at him with adoration. 

"We have hurt each other so terribly, but through it all, I've loved you. Perhaps I haven't always loved you as well as I could have, and we both know I've not always made kind choices, but I cannot keep pretending I haven't needed you, that I didn't feel your absence as a faint but ever-present ache in my gut."  
"You still need me? With Kili? With Bofur?" Thorin asked, his tone soft.  
"What would we be doing here if I didn't? Why have I visited you over and over, tried to hold you, kiss you? Why did I give myself over to you the day you injured your foot? Why could I not abide you mourning me as dead? My Thorin, my king, my love, of course I need you."  
Groaning in bliss, Thorin leaned his forehead against Bilbo's shoulder, stroking faster. "I need you, I need this--whether I'm inside you or being taken, you feel amazing. You make me whole."

Bilbo was caught up in the sensation, undulating in time with Thorin's body, purring his lover's name.

"I promise," he breathed, "I promise to take better care of your heart, to better appreciate this love to which you've held true from our earliest beginnings."

Thorin slowed, propping up to watch Bilbo's face while he made his promises. Bilbo smoothed his hands over his lover's skin as he spoke.

"Going forward, I vow to be open, to be honest, with our love. I will never deny my feelings or my need of you again. It does not matter if we live apart or together--I promise to love you."  
Bilbo closed his eyes and recited, "'Anywhere. Indefinitely. Eternally. I carry you with me always.'"

Bilbo's eyes fluttered open. Thorin gazed at him lovingly, but his expression did not show he recognized it.

"That last part, you wrote that to me, the very first time I left Erebor," Bilbo said.  
Thorin stopped moving. "You remember that?"  
"I memorized that whole letter, Thorin," Bilbo confessed. "I memorized all of them."  
Thorin bit his lip, stirred by Bilbo's confession. "It is as true now as it was then."  
Bilbo smoothed hanging strands behind Thorin's ear. He said, "It has taken me many months, many miles, and many tears to realize it is true for me as well. Even when I ran, I could not escape it."  
"Would you escape it, if you could?"  
"No," Bilbo said. "I promise I'm done running from you, from us."

Thorin crushed their lips together, licking into Bilbo's mouth while he thrust into Bilbo's body faster and faster. He finally had to break the kiss for breath, shifting to hold himself up with one arm and reaching between them with the other. Bilbo cried out as Thorin pumped him toward his finish. 

"Bilbo," Thorin panted. "'All my heart, all my body, all my soul, all my life, my crown, and the mountain itself.'"  
Bilbo whispered the last word of Thorin's quote, "'Yours.'"  
Thorin used the last of his control to murmur, "Yours."

He couldn't wait for Bilbo another moment, not had their very lives depended on it. He growled, letting go inside his love, inside his _husband_. Bilbo cried out and finished a breath behind him, warm in his hand. Thorin collapsed against Bilbo, careful of his jewelry, holding him until the rush slowed. 

Bilbo hummed a pleasured sound. "I feel you everywhere. That was powerful."  
"I feel you, too, in my fingers and my toes--as though it was you marking me."  
"Before we leave this room, I'm going to mark you properly, you know. I have no intention of doing this halfway."  
"It doesn't seem so. We're having the wedding and the wedding night at the same time," Thorin joked.  
"Not quite. Tonight we'll have a more extended wedding night."  
Thorin smirked. "Is that so?"  
"Oh, yes," purred Bilbo. 

Shifting off Bilbo and taking the slightest of moments to clean the mess they made, Thorin settled back into bed and held Bilbo close. He played with Bilbo's fingers, lacing his own in and out. He rubbed Bilbo's mithril ring.

"I used to hate these rings, yours and Kili's," Thorin confessed. "I hated that you had them at all and when I saw how beautiful they were, I hated them even more. I would have liked to have forged you a betrothal ring. I had always planned to, you know."  
Bilbo pointed out, "You made me that gorgeous crown, though."  
"That was a gift for your other wedding, not a lover's gift."  
"Wasn't it, though?" Bilbo asked softly, peering up at him.  
Thorin glanced down to meet Bilbo's gaze with a small, pained smile. "Not in the way a betrothal ring would be."  
"You gave me that great chest of jewels, too. I, um, I wore some for the wedding."  
"I noticed."  
Bilbo squinted an eye. "Was that...was that wrong?"  
Shaking his head, Thorin said, "It pleased me to see you adorned so, as though you were thinking of me."  
Tenderly, Bilbo said, "You know I was."  
"I'd like to cover your naked body in gold, silver, and jewels from that very chest one of these days. Even so, those were a different sort of gift than what I'm talking about."  
Bilbo propped up on an elbow. "You're thinking you want something to make this more real, more tangible."  
Thorin looked at him, conceding, "I suppose I am."  
Bilbo traced patterns in the hair on Thorin's chest. "Do you--that is, would you like to be Thorin Baggins? Officially, documented in the Thain's office?"  
"How would you explain it to the Thain?"  
"Isumbras is so impressed by your story, your title, and your wealth that you could persuade him with nearly anything. This would be the smallest of transgressions he would willingly commit at your request."  
Thorin thought a long moment. "I will confess, when Kili told me he was taking your name, I was bitterly envious. There is an intimacy in such a thing that rivals that of sex, at least from a dwarven standpoint. You know how much importance our people lay on our heritage."  
"I do," Bilbo said.  
"I would perhaps like us to use it lovingly between ourselves, that name, but let Kili be the only one who officially carries it across the lands. He has shared so many precious things with me. Let us leave him that to hold all his own."  
Bilbo smiled lovingly. "Is there nothing else? No document, or witness that would give you the comfort of knowing our promises were more than symbolic?"  
"There is one thing," Thorin confessed. "I would like to wear your braid again, with your leave."  
Bilbo smiled sadly. "I'm afraid I was not prepared for this request. I do not have any binding."

Thorin kissed Bilbo, getting up and rummaging through his things. Thorin produced a small, familiar, wooden bead and handed it to Bilbo.

"Will this do?"

Bilbo turned the bead over in his hand. He never thought he'd see it again--it was just as lovely as the day Bofur made it for him. Bilbo recalled entrusting Bofur with the making of the beads, not only because the dwarf was skilled at such things, but because he was one of his closest friends. The memory gave Bilbo an odd feeling in his stomach, a sensation he couldn't quite name.

"Oh, Thorin, you kept one!" Bilbo said, moved. "Yes, yes it will do quite wonderfully."  
"I kept them both. The other is back in Erebor, safe in case something happened to this one," Thorin confessed.  
Promised Bilbo, "I'll put the other one back in when your mourning hair has grown back. I should like to replace the one you sacrificed for our love."

It comforted Thorin to have a future plan with Bilbo, particularly when the present seemed all too short. He tried not to show he was nearly overcome with emotion. Unbeknownst to him, they were both fighting tears as Bilbo wove the new plait into his hair. 

*****

Fili and Bofur put together a lunch for the three dwarrows at Bag End. After Bofur uttered one smart comment too many for Fili's taste, Fili said, "And here I thought coming was supposed to relax you! You are awfully snappish today for a dwarf who had two lovers crawling on you last night."  
Bofur grumbled in reply.

Bofur grew fidgety through their meal, bouncing his leg and glancing at the doorway. 

"It has been ages since Bee ran after Thorin," Bofur complained. "How long does it take to apologize, anyway?"  
"Depends on the chosen form of apology," Fili said, waggling his eyebrows.  
"You think they're somewhere having one off?" Bofur shot Fili a doubting look before addressing Kili. "How about you? What do you suppose they are up to?"  
Kili chewed his bite thoughtfully. "If I were to guess, I would say Bilbo and Thorin are probably getting married."  
Fili spit out his bite of food. "What?"  
Bofur was temporarily shocked silent.  
"How--how is that possible?" Fili asked.  
Answered Kili, "One doesn't have to have a party to make vows, Fee. They can be wed, just the two of them."  
Bofur exhaled in a small measure of relief. "Then it wouldn't be real, then."  
"Of course it would," Kili insisted. "It only has to be truly real to the two making the promises to be emotionally binding. Documents, parties--those only protect property or sway public opinion. In the end, how real it is merely boils down to the hearts pledged."  
"But what about you? You're okay with this?" Fili asked.  
"I've told you, the two of us discussed this in depth before we went to any of you. Bee was serious when he told you he wanted real relationships with Thorin and Bofur. By rights, he honestly should have married Thorin and me at the same time."  
"Make some sense, Kee!" Bofur said, finding his voice. "You would have shared your wedding with Thorin?"  
Kili shrugged. "We both carry Bee's imprint, as he carries ours. Bee has a desire to share his future with each of us. What else is there to consider? Propriety? I daresay, we've all thrown dwarven tradition out the door as it is, and apparently hobbit unions are a little more flexible."  
Bofur grew visibly agitated. "So you knowingly sent him off for the morning to marry Thorin--not even a day after him professing love for me and taking Fee and myself to bed, mind--without you so much as present? Sharing Bee's love with him is one thing; this is a step beyond!"  
"Bo, please calm down," Fili implored.  
Bofur pounded a fist on the table. "Am I the only one who remembers he tried to kill him? That he sent men to Beorn's to bully you? That he came here hoping in part to stop the very wedding you are now wishing you had shared with him?"  
"You agreed to Bee's terms last night. If you had such objections, you should not have said yes," Kili said sharply.  
"I have no objections to his love, but-"  
"But nothing," Fili said, siding with his brother. "He told us Thorin was to be part of this and we agreed. Aside from that, think on this: If it was the two of us, could you watch me walk away like Thorin had to watch Bee, knowing full well I still loved you?"  
"I-"  
"Or could you do the leaving? Walk away like Bee did, always feeling that tug, carrying the burden of guilt and trying to live a life pretending he did not love more than one? Part of what put Bee in your arms last night was his decision to stop fighting what he feels inside." Fili added.

Bofur sighed, his shoulders slumping, defeated.

"Thorin was out of his mind with the dragon sickness when he tried to hurt Bee, and the rest was brought on by grief," Fili said. "I did not understand it, but there have been many, many private conversations with the two of them since those events took place, and it is ultimately Bee who can make the decision of what to forgive and what to forget."  
Kili added, "And who is truly to say what any of us would do in either situation? It is easy to judge when we are clear-headed, but I can say for my own part, when I thought Bee was lost to me, I did not feel at all like myself. If my desperation was greater, if the separation was longer, I don't know what I could have been capable of doing if I knew Bee yet loved me."  
"I just--I can't find the right words to explain how I feel, other than to say this doesn't feel right," Bofur said.  
Kili fixed a serious eye on Bofur. "Do you regret telling Bee yes? Because I can promise you the Thorin part of this is not going away. If you truly cannot handle his relationship with him, you have to tell Bee now before he falls even more deeply in love with you than he already is...and he is, Bo."  
"I agree," Fili said. "As much as I enjoy it, this has to end sooner than later if it hurts you more than you thought it would. Bee would be sad, I'm sure, but he isn't blind to the intricacies and potential emotional pitfalls of this arrangement. He would understand."  
"You both know how much I adore him," protested Bofur.  
Gently, Kili said, "I suppose it is time for you to decide if you love Bee more than you hate him loving Thorin." 

*****

Once the braid was set, Thorin and Bilbo held each other. Immersed in the joy of simply being together like this, they did not speak for many long moments. Eventually, Thorin broke the silence.

"I would--" Thorin's voice was raspy to his ears, so he cleared his throat. He tried again. "I wish you and Kili could run away with me."  
"Where?"  
"Anywhere. I-I must confess to you I don't know how to leave you again."  
"Oh, Thorin. I don't know how to watch you go, either, but you've got to be king and I've dragged Fili and Bofur all the way out to the Shire."  
"So Fili can go back to Erebor and be king in my place--it solves both our problems."  
Thorin's tone was light enough for Bilbo to know he was mostly teasing, but Bilbo also knew all he had to do was agree to make it happen.  
"You know very well he isn't ready to leave the Shire," Bilbo chided affectionately.  
"For good reason," Thorin agreed. "Your homeland is a lovely place."

Silence bloomed between them once again.

"It is not forever, you know," Bilbo pointed out. "Kili and I have been talking and I think, should it suit you, we may wish to spend the whole of next summer in Erebor."  
Thorin brightened. "You would?"  
"I told you--we are going to make efforts to shorten the length of our separation, particularly now that you've married me. With better planning, perhaps we can work it out to trade seasons back and forth. We'll come see you, hopefully you can get away from Erebor to be with us for a few weeks, and so on. Then, when Fee is ready to head back to Erebor for his training, Kee, Bo, and myself will pack up and return with him."  
"You plan to return to Erebor? To live?"  
Shrugging, Bilbo said, "It only seems fair. The three of them have followed me to the Shire to live for who knows however long, and you've agreed to a distance marriage so I may stay in the lands I love. It seems only fair I travel to Erebor when the time comes."

Thorin calculated figures rapidly in his mind. He did not know how long Fili planned to live in the Shire, though his nephew once said it would be until Bilbo passed. With Bilbo willing to go to Erebor, perhaps it would be sooner! Thorin bubbled inwardly with elation--perhaps the wait would not be terribly long at all! He might still have his dream of building Erebor with his sister-sons and his lover--his _husband_ \--all of them there to stand by his side as he had always dreamed. Instead of dreading Fili's return because it would mean the death of Bilbo, Thorin could now anticipate it as a joyous homecoming.

"When do you think that might be?" Thorin asked, attempting to be casual.  
"We have a life to live here before then, so it is difficult to say. Twenty years? Forty? Who knows how it might shake out?"  
Thorin's heart sank. "Forty years? But, but you might not be able to travel by then."

Bilbo detected the disappointment and dread in Thorin's voice and knew well what the king must be thinking.

He sat up and turned sideways to face the king. "Do you believe in visions, Thorin?"

Thorin listened intently while Bilbo recounted the wedding night encounter with Yavanna, taking care to note it hadn't been his first vision involving her. He explained how Yavanna and Mahal had given Kili a choice, and the reward he had been given for making it selflessly.

"Had I not already believed it was happening based on events of the past, Kili's being there, sharing it, and waking up to remember it in full would have convinced me. If it was only a dream, we shared it vividly," concluded Bilbo.

Thorin was stunned...and a little jealous. Bilbo's marriage to Kili was blessed by the Valar--The Maker!--and Bilbo was granted a lifespan to match his mate's. Thorin doubted Bilbo would have enjoyed such a boon remaining with him alone.

Thorin's silence made Bilbo feel self-conscious. It sounded so fanciful to say it out loud, but every word had been true.

"Say something," Bilbo pleaded. "Please, tell me you do not think me mad."  
Thorin shook his head slowly. "I believe you. It is only--I mean, this...this is incredible, beginning to end. I don't know what to say, but it is not because I doubt the tale. Truly, this means you could live as long as a dwarf?"  
Bilbo made a calculating face. "The wording was dubious. The whole 'parted by circumstance' sounds like I may still need to be careful not to contract illness or get cut down by an orc or something like that."  
"But if not?"  
Said Bilbo, "If not, it seems as though I might have an extra hundred years or two."  
Thorin laughed joyously. Reaching out to pull Bilbo down on top of him, he said, "I'll happily make love to you for another hundred years."

*****

While Fili and Kili had decided to go visiting after lunch, Bofur chose to sit outside in the garden behind Bag End and think. Last night had been life-changing for him. He had tucked the memory away in the same precious bank of memories as his first kiss with Fili, the first time they were in bed together, and the first time they made love. If he was completely honest, his first kiss with Bilbo and the night in the woods also shared that particular distinction. How he could be so in love, a part of something so meaningful one moment, only to have Bilbo run out on him the next?

He chewed on Kili's and Fili's words, attempting to understand their viewpoints--and Bilbo's, and even Thorin's--with limited success. He almost had to laugh at the absurdity of it: He always thought the difficulty would be Bilbo returning his love and want. Bofur hadn't anticipated he would have any problems once Bilbo was already sharing his bed. Truly, he never thought he could have been so blessed in the first place, not after all those long months of pining with no hope at the end. He supposed he should be grateful, but he was bitter. Agreement or not, this invisible hold Thorin had on Bilbo--the draw he had since the earliest parts of their journey--was infuriating.

An epiphany struck him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, dears!!!


	55. Lost And Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bilbo gets an unexpected visitor.

Thorin sat astride Bilbo, rising and falling on his cock. His head was thrown back and the muscles in his arm rippled as he tugged at himself.

"I-I can't, gods, I can't! Come on, Bilbo, get there for me. Make me yours, finally yours," Thorin panted, begging.  
Bilbo gripped at Thorin's thighs, meeting Thorin's movements with faster thrusts. He guttered, digging in his fingers as he came.

Thorin fell forward and kissed him.

"I'm sorry, I couldn't rally quick enough to get there with you," Thorin said, sheepish.  
"Shh, I only got there by sheer will. I'll need to give it a few hours rest to be appropriately ready for you tonight."  
"And a couple good meals, no doubt," Thorin laughed, pushing up to move.  
Bilbo held on to him, remaining inside. "No, wait!"

Thorin paused, looking at Bilbo curiously. Bilbo urged him down into a kiss.

"One last thing before we leave the bed: Do you?"  
Thorin smiled, brows raised. "Do I what?"  
Bilbo gazed at him earnestly. "Do you consent to be my husband, to share my life as my lover, friend, and mate?"  
Thorin stroked Bilbo's hair off his forehead. "I consent. Do you?"  
"I absolutely consent," Bilbo said. 

Thorin claimed one last languid, deep kiss before parting their bodies. 

*****

After a cursory clean up, Thorin and Bilbo had to leave their temporary love nest and deal with the outside world. Thorin had a meeting with some of the traveling party in the marketplace; Bilbo had a date with a meal and the bath. Thorin insisted on walking Bilbo to Bag End, saying he wanted to be near him as long as possible before the glow of their morning faded away.

As they walked, Bilbo asked, "Are you sure you don't want me to fix some food when we get home? We, um, didn't pause for lunch."  
"No, I think I might be a little late as it is, though it is lamentable. Food is better when you make it," Thorin said.  
"Sentimental about my cooking--you're sounding like a hobbit!"  
"No, I'm just very, very in love with one," Thorin said. 

Halfway to Bag End, they heard someone calling Bilbo's name. It was Rorimac, and he was clearly distraught.

Finally catching up, Rorimac said, "Bilbo, I need to speak with you!"  
Noting Thorin alongside them, he added, "Beg pardon, Your Highness, but privately."  
"Oh, um?" Bilbo looked to Thorin.

Thorin recognized Rorimac's frantic expression--he was certain he had worn it himself before. 

"It is okay," he said to Bilbo. "I should get to that meeting and make sure Dori hasn't tied Ori to a wagon heading East, yet. I'll see you tonight? If today means we still have our plans?"  
Bilbo smiled, wishing suddenly to kiss him. "Yes, please."

Thorin bowed to them both, but couldn't resist a kiss to Bilbo's forehead. Rorimac noticed Bilbo's happy blush, but said nothing as Bilbo led him the rest of the way to Bag End.

"Let's have some tea and a discussion," Bilbo said. 

Rorimac waited nervously, but patiently, until the water had been boiled and the tea set had been brought to the dining room table. 

Pouring out Rorimac's cup, Bilbo said, "Okay, now. What has you in such a frenzy?"  
Rorimac burst forth, "Oh, cousin! It is Bifur! He doesn't want to see me any longer!"  
"No?" Bilbo replied, puzzled.  
Rorimac continued, "Things were going so well, I don't understand. I thought perhaps he might ask me to go with him, you know, when they went back to Erebor? I had even considered maybe being bold enough to ask to go myself, but before I got a chance, he said we should be done with it, enjoy it for what it was, and not expect more. I'm simply heartsick."  
Bilbo rubbed his hand sympathetically. "Did you think it was going to be more serious?"  
Rorimac nodded miserably over his tea.  
"Did he give you any more reason he thought it should end?"  
"He said we couldn't communicate properly, that I couldn't fall in love with someone I didn't know."  
Bilbo asked, "Is that so? How do you communicate, then? It seems he got _this_ point across easy enough!"  
"We share various little signals, and you know he understands our speech. Anything more involved, he writes down for me--like when he told me this," Rorimac explained, eyes starting to fill with tears.  
"And what about the second point he made about falling in love?"  
"I don't know how to explain it, Bilbo," Rorimac said dreamily, obviously smitten. "He's an extraordinary person. To think of the odds he's overcome! And there's something in his eyes, something about the way we are together. It is more than physical, if you'll pardon my candor. He insists I'm simply feeling lust, but I have felt like it was more from the very beginning. It is as though I know somehow, I know we could build something between us. I suppose I'm the only one who thinks it is worthwhile, though."

"Oh, now, I wouldn't say that," Bofur said from the doorway.

Rorimac jumped, flushing deep with embarrassment. "I thought we were alone! Oh, merciful Eru, I've gone and said all this in front of his cousin! Please don't tell him I was speaking about him, Bofur! I beg you, he's already brushed me off enough. I couldn't bear another indignity!"  
Bofur clapped Rorimac on the shoulder and turned around a chair to straddle it. "I would not breathe a word to this to him, but I might have some helpful words for _you_."  
"Oh?" Rorimac said, wiping the wetness from his face.  
"I've not seen Bifur like this in many a year...maybe not ever. When we are together, he fidgets and counts the minutes until he can be with you, and for most of those minutes he cannot keep your name from his lips. He has been self-conscious since his injury, and his inability to speak Common when he understands it so clearly frustrates him awfully. Now, I wouldn't give you hope if I truly believed it was false hope, but I think Bifur is trying to save you from yourself, somehow, not wanting you to have a chance to fall in love with someone he believes is flawed. In turn, I think he's perhaps a little afraid to fall in love, himself, fearing it could not be honestly returned from someone who could not know his mind."  
"But I don't think he is flawed! I think he is handsome, kind, and wonderful! And I've been _trying_ to know his mind!" Rorimac argued.  
"So, I suppose the question is, are you going to let him get away with this nonsense?" Bofur grinned.  
"But he said--well, _wrote_ \--this was only a temporary, physical affair, only meant for his time in the Shire. I don't want to harass him or make him hate me by pushing the issue," Rorimac said.  
Bilbo chimed in, "Only you and Bifur know what it is like between you, behind closed doors. Did it feel temporary? Merely physical? Something brought you here, seeking counsel. If you truly believed what he told you, believed this was the end, you would not have sought me out."

Rorimac glanced hopefully from Bilbo to Bofur but said nothing.

"You don't have to tell us, but search your heart," Bilbo said. He glanced at Bofur. "Sometimes we chase away the things we want the most and we can't even explain to ourselves why."  
Bofur found it suddenly took some effort to swallow in order to continue.  
He said, "If he is leaving, if he has already pronounced it over, you have very little to lose. Now, I'm not saying hunt him or anything of the sort, but tell him how you feel. Think on it, Rorimac. If you do not say anything, you might both regret it."  
"You've both given me a lot to ponder," Rorimac said. "Thank you."  
Bofur added, "We'll keep this our secret, I promise."  
"Well, now that is out of the way, who would like to have some food?" Bilbo asked. "I'm starved."  
Rorimac stood. "Oh not me, thanks. I'm too nervous to eat a bite and I should really be going, anyway. Bilbo, Bofur, I can't thank you enough for listening."

Rorimac rushed out the door, Bilbo chuckling behind him. "He must be all wound up if he is skipping a meal. Well, then, is it just the two of us eating?"  
"Yes, Kili and Fili have gone visiting, likely to see their Mam."

Bilbo grinned. He had a feeling Kili might have been keeping Dís occupied to allow him and Thorin some privacy.

Bilbo darted into the pantry, peering into covered baskets along the back shelf. He popped a broken piece of pastry into his mouth, chewing happily as he surveyed their options.

"Hey, how do you feel about this bit of leftover cake?" he shouted back out to Bofur. "Or would you rather me get some ham from the cold cellar?"  
BIlbo turned around to find Bofur standing incredibly close behind him. "Bo?"  
"I wanted to talk to you about the things that have happened between us the past couple days. I didn't get the chance this morning," Bofur said.  
Bilbo shook his head, regret clouding his features. "I'm-I'm sorry about that, leaving so suddenly."  
Bofur spoke, his voice deep but soft. "I have been in love with you for ages, you know. Last night I was in continual awe of you: the way you felt, the way you tasted, the way you touched me back. Fee mentioned I was unusually quiet and it was true. I had few words--simply wave after wave of emotions. Only Fee has ever been able to stir me to my core in such a way. It wasn't merely the sex, either. Being able to hold you, close and bare, as we fell asleep, and then waking up with you touching me, kissing me...it was lovelier than I could have imagined. It came to an abrupt, jarring end this morning and I have to tell you, I was rotten jealous when you followed Thorin out the door--and for a long time after that, too."  
"But Bo-"  
Bofur hushed him with a finger to his lips. "-But I'm going to do better from now on. After you left today, I had an epiphany about you and Thorin. Well, first I had a good long pout, drove Fee crazy, pouted some more, and _then_ I had an epiphany."

Bilbo smiled, gazing at Bofur expectantly.

Bofur cupped Bilbo's nape. "It has taken me a while to understand this hold Thorin has over you--Valar's sake, he has had you enthralled practically from the beginning of the quest--but I realized something today at long last. Thorin was your first, great love, and you love him still. I understand it, I do. Things didn't work out quite as you had once envisioned them and you moved on, finding a mate that completes you even better than Thorin, but no matter how wonderful Kili is, how deep the imprint, no matter how fated and perfect that union is, there is a part of you that will always need Thorin, loving him, cherishing him, regardless of how badly you might hurt each other. The decision is out of your hands and beyond your control. No matter what happens, you will adore him until the day you die."  
Astonished, Bilbo said, "That's...how did you know that?"  
"Because you're _my_ first."  
"Oh, Bo..."

Bilbo knew Bofur loved him. They had the confession on the hill, of course, and all the conversations that followed, but before that there had been hints, glances, tender touches...some only obvious after Bofur's love had been revealed. Still, he hadn't known it had gone any deeper than a crush in those months on the way to Erebor, and he definitely never knew Bofur considered him his first, great love. He realized now, unwittingly, that he might have asked Bofur to make beads for other people-- _two_ people, which had seemed so scandalous then--while Bofur had been desperately in love with him the whole time.

Bofur pressed in close, pinning Bilbo to the wall. Nuzzling Bilbo's neck, he breathed in deeply. He could smell the sex on him.

Low against Bilbo's ear, Bofur said, "You and Thorin made love today."  
Bilbo replied, "It was more than that."  
"I know, Kee told me."  
"And?" Bilbo pressed.  
Bofur kissed Bofur's cheek where it met his hair. "And that's naught to do with me. What is between you two is not about me. That's not to say I won't feel the jealousy, but I don't want to waste time with you thinking of anything but us. I've waited so long for this look in your eyes, for your hands on my body, I don't want to argue about him when I would rather love you. I do, Bee, I love you, I've loved you for so long."  
"You loved me after Rivendell, the night I was going to leave."  
Bofur kissed Bilbo's temple. "Yes."  
"You loved me when you carved the beads for Thorin and Kili."  
Bofur's lips brushed the shell of Bilbo's ear. "I fantasized they were mine for you and carved them thus."  
"You loved me this winter at Beorn's, all those times we discussed our lovers."  
"Yes," Bofur said, moving his kisses to Bilbo's jaw.  
"During the siege. You loved me then, too."  
Bofur spoke so close to Bilbo's lips, Bilbo could feel his breath. "I would have done anything to keep you safe."  
"And when we talked about how to make love?"  
Bofur rumbled, "Oh gods, yes."  
"Did you want to touch me?"  
"Do you have any idea the restraint I had to exercise to _keep_ from touching you?" asked Bofur.  
"I do," Bilbo admitted. "I wanted you that day."  
"Bless me! You did?"  
Bilbo's voice deepened with lust. "I got myself off afterward, thinking about what it would have been like if I could have touched you. I imagined I stroked you while I talked you through fucking Fili. You fucked my hand until you came."  
Bofur licked his lips. "I touched myself, too, thinking about your lovely mouth speaking such filth. I thought about you watching me fuck Fili and describing it each step of the way, just as you had outside."

Bilbo pulled Bofur into an obscene kiss, humming moans into his mouth. He put his arms around him, spinning them to trade their places, never separating. It wasn't until Bilbo unlaced Bofur's trousers that the kiss broke. 

Bofur pulled back enough to speak. "But Fee and Kee, they're not here," he protested.  
Bilbo sank to his knees.  
"It is okay, this is okay. This is special, just for us. Just for," Bilbo tugged down Bofur's trousers, baring him, "you."

Bofur's brain raced, trying to remember--Fili had insisted on being there for the first time they went to Bilbo as lovers, but had they talked about after? And as far as his agreement with Bilbo at Beorn's about the dangers of doing things without their lovers, well, that was when they were trying to pretend they weren't crazy about each other. Anyhow, they were in the _pantry_ , he reasoned. It wasn't as though Bilbo had taken him to bed all alone. Any further memory or argument Bofur had faded with the first wet touch of Bilbo's tongue on his cock. 

Bilbo licked at Bofur, kissing and teasing his prick while he fiddled with Bofur's boots. He wanted his trousers completely off and the boots had been preventing that. Bofur started to ask what Bilbo was doing with his clothes; Bilbo took him all the way in to the root to keep him focused on the pleasure.

"What are you-- _Mahal have mercy_!"

Soon, Bofur was naked from the waist down, pressed to the far wall of the pantry, half against a shelf, with Bilbo on his knees. Was this even reality, or had he fallen asleep in the garden?

Bilbo spread Bofur's thighs open with a hand, nudging him to widen his stance. Bilbo slipped lower, flattening his tongue over Bofur's bollocks as he cradled them. Gently, he pulled one into his mouth to feel, moving on to the next one, and back up Bofur's shaft. Bilbo swallowed it in again, forcing creative curses from Bofur's lips. Holding onto the base of Bofur's cock and tugging in rhythm with his mouth, saliva dripped over his fingers. One hand crept back, under Bofur's stones and into his crevice. Anticipating what would be next, Bofur tossed a hand up over his head, hitting the shelf, and rattling its contents. 

Bilbo stopped. "This is not really the best setting for this, is it?" he said.

He stood, gathered Bofur's clothes, and held out a hand. Bofur stood there, blinking and hard. Bilbo nodded his head in the direction of the door.

"We're moving. C'mon."

Bofur snapped out of his daze, letting Bilbo lead him to the bedroom. Dropping Bofur's belongings, Bilbo pushed him onto the bed. 

"We're alone," Bofur said.  
"Yes, we are," agreed Bilbo, crawling across his body.  
"Aye, but we're alone in your _bedroom_ ," he insisted.  
Bilbo giggled. "I know. I've got some making up to do...and Bo?"

Bofur met Bilbo's suddenly determined gaze. 

"I'm going to make you feel _so good_."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, my loves! As always, I've been enjoying your comments! It makes me feel good to know you're still out there.


	56. Stout Hearts, Weak Beer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parties, both public and private

Fili and Kili arrived back home to find Bilbo and Bofur sitting at a dining table full of random servings of leftovers. Bilbo was eating almost as a dwarf: ravenously stuffing his face without much care for propriety. Bofur chewed happily, looking at Bilbo like a dwarf besotted.

"Well, now! I see you've...hmm, this is a little much for tea, isn't it?" Fili said.  
Kili added, "And a little late."  
After a swallow, Bilbo said, "Well, I missed lunch, and tea wasn't going to quite do it, and there were half-eaten cakes and savories about go off."  
"We ate already, so there's nothing to it but to leave you two to spoil your dinner," Fili said.  
Kili bumped Fili's shoulder. "Have you learned nothing? It is physically impossible to spoil a hobbit's dinner with food."

 

*****

At Thorin's insistence--and much to the Thain's consternation--that night, and not the night after, was to be the farewell dinner and party.

"It isn't right, you know. How do you say farewell and then just stick around for another full day?" Isumbras groused.  
Dís put on a charming smile and said, "I've told you, my brother worries about his companions traveling with the ill-effects of too much merriment."  
"But now I'm going to have to give another going away gathering the next day, too, or all the Shire will be abuzz about my hospitality." He looked off to the side, dubiously innocent, sighing, "I'm going to empty the treasury giving so many such parties."  
"Nonsense!" Dwalin barked. "Your treasury is easily three times the size of your most successful year, what with all the coins being pressed into your hands."  
Isumbras opened his mouth to argue, affronted.  
Dis interjected, "What our Dwalin _means_ to say is we can cover the expense. Perhaps your second party could be a luncheon, minus the extra courses and excessive consumption of spirits?"  
Isumbras replied, "Well, I suppose that would solve the problem of public opinion, and spare your traveling party pounding heads for the road."

Once the subject was settled and basic arrangements were discussed, Dís and Dwalin left to give Thorin the news. Dís knew Thorin would be pleased that Isumbras agreed without much effort.

"Nice bit of tact," Dwalin said.  
"Thank you for not thumping him in the head, dearest," Dís answered.  
Dwalin snorted, "I wouldn't have thumped him for angling for more gold. Too many more appreciative looks in your direction, though..."  
Dís kissed his cheek. "Too many of those, and I'll thump him myself. Verbally, though--no need for a diplomatic incident at this juncture."

 

*****

Rorimac stood at Bifur's door. Taking a deep breath, he knocked, and it was quickly answered.

Upon recognizing his visitor, Bifur rapidly shook his head at Rorimac, looking around for something to write on.

"Stop, listen to me, please," Rorimac implored. "I've thought long about what you told me, and I will respect your wishes. However, if you meant it, if this was only to be a temporary thing while you were in the Shire, I ask you to look around and tell me if you are still in the Shire, because if you are, then we are not finished with each other yet."  
Bifur crossed his arms and gave Rorimac a stern look.  
"Please. Soon you will go--can't we simply enjoy each other for the time we have left? Wouldn't it be nice to leave the Shire tired but sated? If you were any kind of fond of me at all, please let me take these next two days to say my goodbyes properly."

Bifur took his hand and let him in his room, closing and locking the door behind them.

 

*****

Kili and Bilbo took turns bathing each other, washing up for the feast.

"You've got quite a few more marks than you had this morning," Kili noted. "Looks like Thorin had quite a go at your shoulders."  
"That was, um, Bo."  
"Bo?" asked Kili, a bit thrown.  
"Yes."  
"You and Bo, when? After Thorin?"  
Bilbo nodded.  
Kili said, "Durin's beard, does your prick still work?"  
Bilbo laughed nervously. "Stones were a little sore after Thorin, but I didn't--that is to say, what I did with Bo wasn't for me, if you follow me. I'll still be up for tonight, so to speak."

Kili continued washing Bilbo with no reply. He supposed Bofur must have made his decision about Bilbo in the affirmative.

"Kee?"  
Making a non-committal noise, Kili said, "I guess if I can give you leave for a morning to make love with Thorin, it shouldn't seem so surprising that you would think being with Bo would be within our boundaries."  
"But it does? Seem surprising?" Bilbo asked worriedly.  
Kili shrugged. "I was taken aback for a moment, but what can I say?"  
"You can say you don't like it and I'll make sure it doesn't happen again," Bilbo said. "I just--he said some things, and I realized how long he has felt love for me, and I have not been as careful with him as I should have been, and I-I guess, I guess I wanted him to feel wanted, you know?"  
"Oh, Bee. He's a part of this and you love him. I don't _not_ like it, I simply hadn't been expecting it," Kili assured him.  
"I never, ever want to do something with this--with any of this--that gives you an ugly feeling in your stomach."  
"It doesn't. The more I think of it, actually, the more I'm getting into it. Maybe I would like to come home sometime and find you in bed with Bo...or maybe even Bo _and_ Fee, getting all wound up and ready for me!"

Kili leaned in to nuzzle Bilbo's neck, but Bilbo ducked back.

"I'm serious, Kee. The moment you feel it, you tell me and we'll figure out how to make it stop."  
"I'm serious, too," Kili flirted, kissing him, though Bilbo was too concerned to be enthusiastic. "Stop worrying so much. Why are you so worried when you are the one who benefits the most from this? It is like giving someone a present and having them fret and fret about how much trouble it must have been to carry it to them!"  
Bilbo said quietly. "Because I wouldn't like it if you gave _me_ that ugly feeling in my stomach."  
"Me?" Kili sputtered a laugh. "Doing what? Dragging Thorin off for a private snog or having Fee lovingly wank me off after a romantic walk for two?"

He chuckled until he noticed Bilbo had gone very, very still and his lips had formed a hard, thin line.

"Hey," Kili said softly, reaching out to cradle Bilbo's face with a wet hand. "No, okay? I didn't mean to make fun, but no. The pleasure for me is not in private moments, but in sharing."  
"I think I should be very jealous if you and Thorin were physical without me. I know it is hypocritical-"  
"-No it isn't, because I don't feel the same about him as you do," Kili said.  
"But together, when we're together, now at least, I like it. I enjoy seeing the surprise in his eyes when you do something so uniquely and obscenely _you_...and I like the sounds you make when you are surprised and pleasured, too."  
Kili grinned mischievously. "I will not deny I like pleasure, and I like even more that Fee doesn't like it when Thorin touches me."  
Bilbo giggled. "I know! Where did _that_ come from? That reaction, though--I will tell you, I was stunned how much I enjoyed Fee touching you."  
"No jealousy?"  
"No, just a throbbing in my cock...and, um, although I would hate to miss a moment of it for personal reasons, I would not get that ugly feeling if I found out you and Fee touched outside our arrangement."  
"Why Thorin and not Fee?" inquired Kili.  
Bilbo exhaled heavily. "What is between you and Fee is nothing that threatens me or Bo."  
"It isn't love like I have with you," Kili explained.  
"I know. It is beyond my understanding, but it doesn't fluster me in the least."  
"Well," Kili said, pulling Bilbo close, "Thank you for that allowance in our rules, but it is not likely to be a frequent issue. I'd hate to deny you any of the fun that comes from sharing me...especially once I get Fee riled up about Thorin."  
Bilbo kissed him. "Oh, you wicked, wicked thing! What are you planning?"  
"Not planning necessarily, but going forward, I'm going to make sure Fee knows about every last touch I get from Thorin."  
"You are awful," Bilbo laughed.  
"You know if it were you, you wouldn't turn down the chance to feel nice, twice," he quipped, waggling his eyebrows.  
Bilbo rolled his eyes and pushed Kili backward into the bathwater.

 

*****

The evening's feast was held in The Green Dragon, as opposed to Michel Delving. Isumbras decided having it at the tavern would cut out the trouble of hauling enough kegs to give a dwarven party this size a proper goodbye. Being an affair of state, though, the tables were already set and partially laden with food as the room filled with guests, more food arriving shortly thereafter. The bar area was stuffed with the hobbits there simply to go about their night.

Bilbo and Kili sat at Thorin's table this time, along with Fili and Bofur. Dís and Dwalin sat elsewhere, which suited Thorin fine. There was enough awkwardness sitting at a table where everyone knew how his husband sounded when he came.

Beorn was always a bit tricky to serve in the Green Dragon, but the barkeeper made efforts to keep him comfortable and Beorn was always happy among friends.

Dori sat with Ori and his hobbits, having made his peace that morning with Ori about staying behind. Óin was with them, of course, and Nori and Nîfon.

Bofur noticed Bifur was there with Rorimac. Bifur acted as he always did with his cousin and, other than a shy smile, Rorimac did his best to make sure his expression didn't give away his counsel-seeking from the afternoon. Bofur gave him the same courtesy.

 

*****

Tables were a bit of a formality, for eating only, and the friends and companions changed seats frequently once the beer began to flow more freely. Isumbras jumped up to make a speech. Dís let him go on for about a minute or so, then artfully insinuated herself into it, giving a flowery speech of her own about the unrivaled hospitality of Isumbras and his community of hobbits. When she was finished, there was applause that clearly signaled the time for speeches had passed, affording Isumbras no opening to jump back in and ramble on. Dwalin winked at Dís and she winked back.

*****

It was Beorn who called for the first song, which was no surprise to those who had lived with him the past winter. They came prepared for it, as a matter of fact, showing up with instruments in hand. Kili and Fili played their fiddles and Bofur played his whistle, going in first on a dwarven tavern song. Bilbo stirred up a hobbit song next, which had some of the bar hobbits running home for instruments of their own. Dinner and dessert cleared, tables and chairs were pushed back and stacked against the wall, not only to make room for musicians and dancing, but for additional hobbits pouring in the door when word got around about the music. As a special nod to their elvish friends, Kili, Fili, and Bofur played songs they learned in Rivendell while Bilbo, Daerbes, Nîfon, and Nerithel sang. To everyone's surprise, Dwalin asked for Kili's fiddle so Kili could dance with his friends and improvised through two elvish songs on his own. Nerithel bowed her head deeply in thanks when the song changed back to something the dwarrows knew and Bilbo would swear until the end that he saw Dwalin smile and blush like a virgin.

*****

A hush spread over the dwarven part of the crowd when Thorin bowed to Bilbo, silently requesting a dance. They went through three songs together, one slow and two fast, smiling and laughing breathlessly. 

Kili called out for "My Beloved" and a cheer went up--the dwarrows had surely missed that at the wedding. Face still flushed from the activity, Bilbo turned to him with an astonished smile, even as Thorin's wavered (but only just a little).

Kili smiled back, but nudged him toward Thorin. "Go on."  
"Are you sure?" Bilbo whispered.  
"Trust me," Kili replied.

This time, it was Bilbo who bowed to Thorin in request. Thorin looked around. The dwarrows looked either confused or scandalized, but the rest of the party was oblivious to the significance of this particular song. His eyes landed on Kili, who only smiled and gave him a small nod.

Bofur was _not_ oblivious, however, and asked Dori to be the singer.

"Bo?" Fili whispered, catching his arm as he went to get a beer and leave the musicians to it.  
"I'm fine, Fee, and it's fine, but I just, I don't think I can sing it this time."  
Fili got a determined look on his face. "No, because you are going to be too busy dancing it."

Handing his fiddle off to Holman, Fili took his place on the floor with Bofur. Another wave of murmurs went through the dwarrows in the crowd, and Fili was pleased. It was not only a special moment with his Bofur, it was also going to be quite at distraction for the dwarrows (and his mother).

Dori sang out with his clear (if somewhat unusual) dwarven tenor as the couples danced, gazing at each other--

_"Is she fierce?_  
 _Her beauty rare?_  
 _What is the color of her hair?_  
 _My beloved._  
 _Does she hunt?_  
 _Does she sew?_  
 _Is she anyone I know?_  
 _My beloved._  
 _Is she stout?_  
 _Is she tall?_  
 _Or perhaps he is not a she at all._  
 _The one I shall one day call my own, my beloved."_

Any envy Bofur felt for Thorin dissolved as he danced with his own betrothed. This was quite a statement of intent for Fili, all but announcing their engagement in front of a packed house of friends, dwarrows, and assorted hobbits. He beamed, thinking of the rapid, joyful pounding in his breast these past two days and wondering how many beats a heart was born with.

_"Is he the moon?_  
 _Or perhaps the sun?_  
 _Could he be my dearest one?_  
 _My beloved."_

Thorin's eyes sought Kili and he waved him over, placing Kili's hand on Bilbo's as that part of the dance required. He bowed and retreated to the side.

Kili couldn't relax the grin from his face as he finished the wedding dance he had never expected to have with his husband.

_"Is he gruff?_  
 _Is he fair?_  
 _Would he follow me anywhere?_  
 _My beloved._  
 _Would he fight_  
 _By my side?_  
 _Could he be right before my eyes?_  
 _The one I shall one day call my own, my beloved."_

  
_"Would he fight_  
 _By my side?_  
 _Could he be right before my eyes?_  
 _The one I shall one day call my own, my beloved."_

The dance concluded and both couples kissed. Cheers erupted, though some of the dwarrows were still somewhat confused. A drunk hobbit at the bar cried out, "Beautiful, it was just beautiful!" and sobbed so much, another hobbit had to console him.

 

*****

During a lively hobbit tune, Nerithel danced with a hobbit she had never met, and Bilbo took a turn around the floor with Bofur. Beorn took his turn, making every attempt to dance despite his size disadvantage. The party was spilling out the door, now, and arriving hobbits that couldn't fit in The Green Dragon danced and sang outside it.

*****

Over the course of the night, Bilbo and Bofur both took turns chatting with Bifur and Rorimac, each keeping Rorimac's secret close. They did not discuss it with each other, but both Bilbo and Bofur noticed Rorimac's expression would occasionally turn melancholy when he didn't suppose anyone was looking at him.

*****

Bilbo had elbowed his way to the bar to have his tankard filled when he felt a body against him from behind. Thorin's breath tickled his ear as he whispered, "I want you." He rolled his hips for effect.

Bilbo grinned and turned to face him, Thorin pressing him right into the bar. Bilbo pushed up on his toes to whisper privately, "They're going to talk, you know. Dís is likely to shave my head for the wedding dance alone."  
"Can I help it if the bar is crowded and I have to stand close?" Thorin drawled.  
"You're getting drunk!' Bilbo said.  
Thorin shook his head. "Just pleasantly warm, and hard as stone. When can we get out of here?"  
Bilbo looked around to see if the other hobbits heard, but they weren't paying attention.  
"Shh!" he said, regardless. "You'll be heard!"  
Thorin leaned in to whisper, "Fine. So when can we leave? I want to fuck you. Or be fucked. I don't particularly care which, as long as we're making a fantastic mess of each other."  
Erotic shivers danced down Bilbo's spine. "Oh, you terrible thing! How do we get out of a party in full swing?"

 

*****

Dwalin had explained to Dís about the odd occasion of Thorin asking for "My Beloved" when Bilbo and Kili were in Erebor. She thought it was an improper thing of Thorin to have done, but blamed his dramatic nature. From the things Fili and Kili had told her of his behavior following the dissolution of his betrothal, it hadn't even been the oddest thing. Still, here, _now_ , for Kili to call for it when he hadn't had it at his own wedding--and to give it to Thorin, to say nothing of the way Thorin and Bilbo positively _gazed_ at each other--it was inappropriate to say the least. She was more perplexed when Thorin called Kili to finish it. Perhaps his good sense had prevailed, after all. She seethed with an irritation she couldn't particularly name, but she had promised Thorin and Kili to stay out of their business. It was difficult, to be sure, but they seemed to not be fighting with each other over Bilbo. That was at least something.

Something at the bar caught her eye. Thorin and Bilbo were whispering, suggestively pressed against each other, smiling and flushing like lovers after a first kiss. She scanned over the room, seeking Kili. He was too busy chatting to Beorn to notice what his husband was up to. Again, she glanced back at the bar, but Thorin and Bilbo were no longer there. Looking around more frantically, she saw Bilbo had moved on to speaking to Bofur and Thorin had found Kili. When Dís saw they had not disappeared alone together, she relaxed.

 

*****

Thorin had fetched Kili while Bilbo told Fili and Bofur they were leaving. The Green Dragon was so packed, the trio were able to slip out of the party and past the hobbits outside without garnering much suspicion.

*****

"So what do we do?" Fili asked Bofur.  
"About what?"  
"About sleeping arrangements? Are we to go home tonight?"  
Bofur made a face. "Where else would we go?"  
"I don't know, but Thorin is staying at our place tonight, which probably means less sleep and more frantic I'm-leaving-in-two-days sex," Fili said.  
Bofur sighed. "That image in my head isn't a help."  
"Think what it will be like to hear it, then?"  
Bofur said, "Look, we'll just, we'll have our good time here and we'll deal with the other later, yeah?"  
Fili regarded Bofur. "Okay. Okay, yeah."  
"I'll get us another beer. I'm not even buzzed on this hobbit brew."

Fili watched after Bofur, wondering how they were going to get through these next nights with Thorin under the same roof.

 

*****

The fire and candles had been lit, the oil refilled, glasses of wine poured, and Thorin, Kili, and Bilbo all stood naked in the master bedroom at Bag End, not quite sure where to start.

"Kee," Bilbo said. "It is not news to you, of course, but in consideration, I will tell you in front of Thorin that we were privately wed late this morning."  
Thorin smiled at Kili. "I figured you knew, giving me a wedding song and the better majority of Bilbo's dances tonight in lieu of an after-wedding party. That was unexpected, but appreciated. Still," he glanced at Bilbo, "I am glad to know it is not a secret to Kili."  
"Nor is it a secret to the household," Kili said. "Fee and Bo will be keeping it to themselves as long as you deem it necessary, Thorin, but it is not a secret to any who share this bed."

Thorin nodded. Fili and Bofur being welcome in Bilbo's bed still didn't sit well with him, but it gave him comfort that Bilbo was being open with them about what they meant to each other.

"This marriage makes Bilbo now a prince twice over, and a consort besides," Kili said, smirking and obviously up to something.

He pulled two things from beneath the bed: a chest containing the jewelry Thorin had sent from Erebor and the crowns he had wrought.

"What are you doing?" Bilbo asked as Kili draped the first necklace over his head.  
"Hush," Kili replied. "A prince and a king are about to have you and be had by you and you should be properly dressed."  
Thorin moaned throatily. "Oh, _yes_."

Thorin tried to put a bracelet on Bilbo, but (much as Bofur had discovered) it fell off. Coming to a similar conclusion as Bofur had on Bilbo's first wedding day, Thorin fastened it instead around Bilbo's ankle. He paused a moment to stroke the hair on Bilbo's foot and calf, kissing up to the back of Bilbo's knee before getting another piece. He found a chain to adorn Bilbo's wrist, instead, wrapping it several times. He put another long chain around Bilbo's waist, reminding him of one of his last truly lucid days in the mountain when he and Bilbo made the tenderest love atop a mound of gold. He sighed raggedly and Bilbo gently ran his fingers through his hair, silently signalling to Thorin he was sharing the same memory.

Kili stood back and admired their work. Bilbo was all bare flesh, gold, and jewels, glowing like a vision in the candlelight. Kili marveled at Bilbo's beauty. Somehow, every day he managed to love him a little more. He observed Thorin, the look of pure adoration for Bilbo on his face making him look quite stunning himself. Kili flipped open the wooden box containing the crowns.

Bilbo felt a little shy when Kili and Thorin started dressing him in jewels, but between their touches and kisses (and his vanity--he liked to be adorned), the shyness faded. When they were done, he stood naked yet fully dressed, gazing at the dwarves he loved. Their love for him was emblazoned on their faces for all the world to see, and he was humbled by it. To be true, he was erect and yearning for what was about to transpire, but even stronger was the love he felt and his thankfulness that all the hurts from their past had somehow, unbelievably come to this.

Kili dipped low and bowed his head, presenting Bilbo's crown to Thorin. Thorin accepted it, the gesture moving him deeply. Thorin approached Bilbo, meeting his eyes.

"Long have I dreamed of seeing you in a crown," Thorin murmured.  
"I wore it on my other wedding day, so I think it is only fitting I wear it tonight," Bilbo replied. "Though I honestly don't know if there is a difference between a prince's crown and a consort's crown or not."  
"That _is_ a consort's crown," Kili said, matter-of-factly.

Bilbo looked at him, astonished, but not as astonished as Thorin was.

"What?" Kili said. "I'm not stupid, you know. It was obvious the moment it was unveiled, and Thorin's signature inside removed any last doubt."

Bilbo stared back and forth between Kili and Thorin, stunned, but Thorin simply smiled, shaking his head affectionately at Kili. What a surprise he had turned out to be.

"Prince and Consort, Bilbo Baggins," Thorin murmured.

Bilbo bowed his head and Thorin crowned him. Bilbo recalled another very special time Kili had done the same with a wreath of flowers and smiled wickedly, thinking of what came after. He tugged Thorin into a filthy kiss, only backing away to give Kili one as well.

Purred Bilbo, "Now, come fuck it off of me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The dwarven wedding song came from Chapter 74 of "Wait, You Are Supposed To Put It Where?"  
> The amazing come-chaos has recorded a beautiful imagining of "My Beloved" for this fic. https://soundcloud.com/comechaos/my-beloved


	57. From The Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut ahoy!

Thorin kissed Bilbo, mouth open and tongue insistent. Even while tightening his arms around Bilbo, cupping his bottom, and lifting him full off the ground, he didn't break their connection. Bilbo wrapped his legs around Thorin, kissing back fiercely. Thorin climbed up on the bed with them both, laying Bilbo down gently and moving his kisses across Bilbo's body.

"Beautiful like this," Thorin whispered.

Kili took the space on the bed beside Bilbo, claiming his turn at Bilbo's lips while threading his fingers into Thorin's hair. Thorin let out a small whine, kissing lower. Kili still held Thorin's head in his hand and Bilbo's tongue in his mouth when Thorin commenced sucking Bilbo's cock.

Bilbo broke free with a moan, leaning his head into the pillow and baring his neck. Just above the chains, Kili ran his teeth over the cords in Bilbo's neck.

"You two!" Bilbo moaned.  
Kili smiled against Bilbo's skin. "Getting too lazy to call out our names?"  
Bilbo stuttered a pleasured gasp mixed with a laugh. "No, that's short for 'you two are going to ruin me.'"  
"Good," Kili murmured, "Because I never, ever tire of hearing you moan my name, and I'm quite sure Thorin doesn't, either."

Thorin hummed to reinforce Kili's statement, the deep vibration furthering the sensations pulsing through Bilbo's member. Bilbo wrapped his fingers around Kili's cock and pumped it slowly.

"Feed me, _Kili_ ," commanded Bilbo.

Kili climbed up, holding onto the headboard as Bilbo guided him into his mouth. He tossed his head back as the exquisite warmth enveloped him, feeling his hair tickle against his back. He shook his head a little, simply to feel it again. His hair was tugged and a warm body pressed against him.

"I'm sure I'm going against all that is good and pure in this world, admiring how gorgeous you look with your hair down your back and your arse pumping against Bilbo's mouth," Thorin rasped in Kili's ear.  
"If consensual pleasure is neither good nor pure, then those two things are vastly overrated," Kili purred.

Kili felt Thorin's hands stroke down his sides, one close to palming his bottom, the other glancing over his hip close to his cock (and Bilbo's mouth). Kili anxiously waited, but the expected caresses didn't come. There was cool air at his back as Thorin shifted his position.

Bilbo tapped Kili's hip, sputtering and giggling around him. Kili pulled out.

"Thorin!" Bilbo protested instantly. "That _tickles_! I almost choked on Kee!"

Kili turned around to see Thorin stroking through the hair on Bilbo's calf and foot (having a particular fascination with the anklet), using a very light touch. Kili knew from showering Bilbo with such attentions himself that he couldn't touch Bilbo too softly there or he would erupt in ticklish giggles.

Kili climbed off Bilbo, giving him the opportunity to sit up. His necklaces jingling somewhat, Bilbo crawled over to Thorin, pushing his lover's shoulder blades against the bar at the foot board. He could feel Kili's hands on his own back, and Kili's lips shortly after. Bilbo nibbled and licked at each of Thorin's nipples until they stiffened.

"You know what I think?" Bilbo asked, peeking playfully up at Thorin.  
Thorin smiled, "What's that?"  
"I think _you_ need something pierced for me," he pinched at a nipple for effect.  
Thorin urged Bilbo upward. "Is my heart not enough for you, my love? You pierced that long, long ago."

Thorin thumbed Bilbo's bottom lip open, tracing it with his tongue. Bilbo moaned, darting his own out to feel it.

Kili smoothed his hand over Bilbo's back and hips as Thorin kissed their hobbit. Moving further down, he massaged Bilbo's and Thorin's thighs until the kiss broke. Bilbo shimmied backwards, kissing Thorin's chest as he went, pausing to free Thorin's prick from a chain that looped around it, making all three of them laugh. Bilbo nuzzled and sucked at Thorin's cock, wiggling his irresistible bottom as he no doubt rubbed his own erection against the bed, and Kili couldn't contain his lust. Oiling his fingers and leaning forward, Kili pressed wet kisses against Bilbo's shoulders and slipped a digit inside his body.

Thorin watched Kili dip into the oil dish, knowing exactly what Kili planned to do with those fingers. His cock felt the moment Kili breached Bilbo just as his eyes saw it--Bilbo was beautifully responsive in sight, sound, and suction.

"Do you mean to have him first?" Thorin asked Kili.  
Kili shrugged with a tilt of his head. "I figured he would need to be prepared, one way or the other. He looked so enticing, I took it upon myself to start. It can be you or me."  
"What do you want, Bilbo?" Thorin asked.  
Bilbo disengaged his mouth so he could answer. "I'll have each of you know, I fully intend on claiming both of my husbands before dawn, and I expect to be marked by them in return."  
Thorin smiled, Bilbo's use of the word "husband" thrilling him in a way it hadn't before this day.  
"In that case, I want to be fucked first by my husband tonight," Thorin said enticingly, "Before I fuck him into the mattress myself."  
Bilbo groaned. "Gods, _yes_."

Kili slipped out of Bilbo and urged him backwards, scooting so he could hold him face-to-face. He kissed him hungrily.  
"I want to take you," Kili said.  
Replied Bilbo, "I want to be taken. Fuck me, help me fuck him."  
Kili growled and stole another kiss.

"Get comfortable," Bilbo told Thorin. "Face down, arse up."

Thorin and Kili exchanged a knowing look, part desire, part wonder.

Bilbo held Thorin's buttocks open, prodding his hole with his tongue until it was quivering and needy. He felt Kili behind him, playing with one digit inside, rubbing and teasing. They both slicked their fingers in the dish. Bilbo felt Kili opening him more earnestly, even as he stretched out a moaning, grunting Thorin. It reminded him a bit of their wedding night dream, feeling as he was doing. His cock was hard and dripping as though Bilbo hadn't paid it attention in days, though the opposite was true. Bilbo hoped it would not insist on a night off until Thorin was out of the Shire, immediately darkening his own mood with thoughts of Thorin leaving at all. He covered Thorin's body with his own.

"Would you think I loved you any less if I didn't look into your eyes?" Bilbo whispered.  
Thorin furrowed his brow in confusion. "No."  
"Good, because I fuck harder on my knees," Bilbo said, pushing himself up and tugging Thorin's hips up with him.

Kili and Thorin both growled in delight.

"I have always loved your filthy mouth, burglar," Thorin said.  
Kili agreed, "As have I."

Bilbo responded by pushing into Thorin, slipping past his crown on the first pass and fully seated by the fourth. He glanced over his shoulder once he was inside and Kili kissed his nape, accepting the signal. Bilbo pitched forward while Kili penetrated him, breathing deeply and bearing down to hasten the process. Kili leaned against him, letting Bilbo set the starting pace, not moving in or out but simply riding against his body.

Thorin hugged the pillow under his chin, squeezing it through the pinch and moaning into it as the pleasure bloomed. Bilbo's lips slowly moved across his back. He heard him murmur "I love you," but did not know if it was for him or Kili. For the first time, he didn't care. He knew Bilbo adored them both. When Kili started to move, Thorin felt it--first as a counter-roll and again in Bilbo's thrust as they built rhythm. Bilbo grunted in frustration, seizing Thorin's hips and trying to quicken his stroke.

Over his shoulder, Bilbo demanded, "Faster."

The demand shot down Kili's spine and flared out through his groin. He was happy to oblige, the roll of his hips picking up speed.

Bilbo shouted. "Harder!"

Thorin bit the pillow and shouted into it. Bilbo was hitting his sweet spot every few thrusts. With Kili's weight already driving Bilbo, the command of "harder" was almost too much to bear.

With a sound of vexation, Bilbo angled forward, kicking his feet behind him to leverage them on the bed. Kili had just adjusted to this new height when Bilbo's hips snapped with a burst of speed. Kili heard Thorin wail from under them, hoping it was in pleasure as he chased after Bilbo's rhythm. He had to grab onto one of Thorin's hips to keep up.

Bilbo had found it difficult during shared bed sessions of the past to long endure being pleasured both front and back. It seemed his exertions of the past few days did have an effect after all, because he was able to sustain it a little harder, a little longer, before he lost control. He was not far off now, though, and the tight heat around his cock told him Thorin wasn't, either. Thorin screamed into his pillow and sobbed in Khuzdul something that sounded a lot to Bilbo's ear like begging.

"Bee, I can't hang on like this," Kili said.  
"Come, fucking _come_ ," Bilbo hissed.

Kili wasn't sure if Bilbo's command was for him or Thorin, but he let go with a yelp.

In his pained rapture, Thorin clung to the pillow like a lifeline. He felt like a piece of webbed, cracked glass, broken but not quite shattered. Bilbo's last shift ensured he would peg Thorin _right there_ with every thrust, only to have Bilbo increase the intensity and speed to add to his madness. He felt Kili grasp his hip, using his body for additional leverage. It only served to boost Thorin's exhilaration. He heard Bilbo demand he come, he heard Kili cry out, and then the glass burst. He came in heavy spurts, groaning and half-laughing for the delicious relief of it all. Bilbo held onto his hips tightly and keened, jerking and stuttering against his body as he filled it with his release.

Bilbo collapsed against Thorin, Kili following only for a moment, lest the combined weight suffocate him. Kili eased out of Bilbo, peppering his back with soft kisses before laying next to the couple. Bilbo was whispering something into Thorin's opposite ear, but Kili was still breathing too hard to hear.

Bilbo's hand rested next to their heads. Lacing his fingers through Bilbo's, Thorin squeezed as Bilbo's words brought happy tears to his eyes.

Still inside him, Bilbo whispered over and over, "I love you, Thorin."

*****

Bofur and Fili could hear the sounds of sex as they walked down the hall, but the door was shut tightly. Fili felt a twinge of peculiar disappointment.  
"Door's shut," Bofur noted.  
Replied Fili, "It wasn't as though they would leave it open when he's here."

Bofur nodded and shrugged, closing their own door behind them to further dampen the sound. It only helped for the softer sounds--plenty of wails and desperate cries still made their way into the room. Bofur still felt some pangs of envy, but his afternoon with Bilbo had been quite a soothing balm for those old, persistent Thorin-aches. He glanced up, noticing Fili studying him as he undressed.

Fili asked, "Have you come to a decision regarding Bilbo?"  
"Aye, I talked to him today."  
"And?"  
Answered Bofur, "I told him his love for Thorin is not enough to drive me away."  
"Good."  
"Kee was right, I love him more than I dislike him loving Thorin. We talked it out between us, cleared the air a bit. We're moving forward with this, whatever it is."  
"Good, then. I'm glad the two of you reached an accord," Fili said, tugging off his own trousers.  
"And then he, erm, sucked my prick in the pantry."  
Fili paused. "Did he, now?"  
Clearing his throat, Bofur said, "The thought occurred that you and I have not discussed boundaries, besides agreeing to both be present the first time. I suppose whatever conclusion Kili has come to with Bilbo doesn't preclude that sort of thing--at least not when Bee deems it necessary to prove a point--but what of us? I will confess to not trying to hard to convince him otherwise when he said it would be okay with you lads. Did I...did I step out of line?"  
Fili considered this. He said, "It is true, I didn't want your first sexual contact with Bilbo to exclude me, and perhaps...well, I don't know, really. The idea of it isn't unimaginable--I mean, we agreed you two would be more or less indefinitely courting, didn't we? I suppose it isn't weird to assume you two might be at it on your own, but I'd also hate to think of you being too tired for me because you'd spent your energy on someone else."  
"I wouldn't do that, Fee," Bofur reassured him.  
Fili grinned. "Plus, I really love being a part of it."  
"I know."  
Shrugging, Fili said, "So, no, it isn't unforgivable that you were alone, and it wouldn't be awful if you were to fool around with only him in the future, but don't forget you've got a betrothed."  
Bofur took Fili into his arms. "Fee! I'd never forget you, ever."  
"So, since I wasn't there, why don't you tell me about it?" asked Fili seductively.

Removing the last piece of his clothing, Bofur followed Fili onto the bed. He urged him onto his back and kissed down his body.

He said, "Why don't I tell and show?"  
"If you insist," Fili replied breathily.  
"Well first, we were in the pantry, looking into something to eat. That's when I had my talk with him," Bofur said, stopping a moment to lick and tug at Fili's navel ring.  
Fili glanced down at him. He hinted, "And he put his mouth on you, you said?"  
Bofur smirked. "Aye, I believe I did say that. If memory serves, it went a little like this."

Bofur licked and suckled at Fili's stones, not moving on until he heard an impatient whimper. He licked up Fili's length, taking him full into his mouth the moment he reached the tip. Nudging Fili's legs wider with his elbow, he stroked Fili's cock with both hand and mouth, slipping the other one back toward Fili's entrance. Fili spread his legs wider, lifting his hips off the bed to be breached, when Bofur stopped abruptly.

"Hey!" Fili protested.  
"You see, it was about that time--when I had been certain he was about to make a few dreams come true--that I forgot we were in the pantry and nearly brought a shelf down on us."  
Fili snorted a giggle. "Sorry, I shouldn't laugh at that."  
Bofur grinned, "No need to be sorry. It _was_ rather funny, though a little embarrassing for your Bo at the time!"  
Caressing Bofur's hair fondly, Fili asked, "So what happened then?"

_"This is not really the best setting for this, is it?"_  
 _Bilbo stood, gathered Bofur's clothes, and held out a hand. He nodded his head in the direction of the door._  
 _"We're moving. C'mon."_

"He brought me to the bedroom and pushed me onto the bed," Bofur continued, recalling the scene. "I remember thinking that the pantry was one thing, but bed was more serious, somehow. I pointed out we were in the bedroom, trying to make a point, but he didn't understand what I meant. Very shortly after that, _I_ didn't even care what I meant."  
"Is that so?" Fili flirted.

_"And Bo? I'm going to make you feel so good."_

"Aye," Bofur said.

He took Fili back in his mouth again, acting out Bilbo's touches on Fili's body while the afternoon replayed in his mind.

_Bilbo sucked him in, pulling tight enough to hollow his cheeks. It was snug, hot, and fast--Bofur didn't quite know what had hit him. A few breaths before he reached the point of no return, Bilbo stopped, moving down to mouth over his stones again. Bofur gulped air and rested his tensed muscles. Bilbo shifted, pushing back on Bofur's thighs, tilting his pelvis and exposing him to daylight. Bofur's mind raced--was he clean? He couldn't remember and had started to fret when the warm slick of Bilbo's tongue brushed his hole. It swept over and swirled repeatedly, joined with hums of enjoyment. Bofur tilted back further, reaching down to spread himself for Bilbo. It made him feel vulnerable, further heightening his pleasure at the same time. Giving himself over like this felt like a beautiful, lewd dream._

_"I want to hear some of that legendary dirty mouth," Bilbo said. "What do you want?"_  
 _"I've got you between my legs, licking my hole. I must say has been the subject of many fantasies all on its own."_  
 _"Yes?" Bilbo said, licking at him again._  
 _"Fee heard it from Kee and taught me in turn, but we both knew where Kee learned it, you know. I'd daydream about doing it to you, about you doing it to me, us licking each other out."_  
 _Bilbo moaned and Bofur felt it against his skin. "Is that what you want? To be licked out? I might be able to taste Fee inside you, still."_  
 _Bofur groaned. "_ Durin's beard! _"_  
 _"Is that what you want?"_  
 _Bofur felt his arousal seeping onto his stomach from the head of his prick. "Aye."_  
 _"Say it," Bilbo demanded._  
 _"Fuck me with your tongue. I want to feel what it is like to have some part of you in me, please. Fuck me, please," Bofur pleaded._

_Bilbo pushed his tongue inside and, shallow as it was, Bofur moaned and wriggled as though it was Bilbo's very cock._

_"You're fucking inside me," Bofur sighed happily. "Gods, was it this good when I did it?"_

_Bilbo made an affirmative noise, but his mouth was too busy for a proper answer. Bofur swore and praised Bilbo, who was being very thorough indeed._

"Bo! Fuck, this is--did he do it this long to you?" Fili cried out, feeling the desperation of prolonged pleasure.  
Bofur kissed his way back up Fili's body. "Longer, if you can imagine."  
Incredulous, Fili replied, "Longer? I'm already half-wild!"  
"I was as well," Bofur said.  
"Did he wank you off while he did it? Or did you wank yourself?" Fili asked.

Fili squirmed, needing to touch his prick, but he enjoyed playing this game with Bofur too much to jump ahead.

"No, that's not quite how that ended."  
Fili groaned. "Then show me before I burst without you."  
Bofur grinned widely.

_Bilbo's lips meandered back up to Bofur's prick, catching the desire dripping from the end._

_"You taste wonderful, Bo, even better than I thought. I used to think about what it would be like to take you in, what you might feel like against my tongue, how much come you would pump in my mouth."_  
 _"Oh,_ gods _," Bofur moaned._

_Bilbo sucked him in and out again, using long, exhilarating passes--the sort that made the very air against his skin feel like a tender caress even while the blood under it burned._

_Stopping, Bilbo slinked across Bofur's body to claim a passionate kiss. Bofur tugged at Bilbo's clothes._

_Gently, Bilbo stayed his wrist. He said, "I'm remaining clothed."_  
 _"But why? I want to see you, I want to_ feel _you."_  
 _"Remember where I just was. I want to love you, relax you, please you--and I don't want you bothering over Thorin right now. Besides, I have to admit, there's something about being dressed while you are at my mercy. It is rather exciting."_  
 _Bofur replied, "Far be it from me to argue if it is turning you on."_

_Bilbo reached over to slick his fingers with oil._

_"Now, with your leave, I'm going to get myself a little more to taste," Bilbo said sinfully._  
 _"You cautioned me about the dirty, lusty nature of the line of Durin but you never said a word about yourself," Bofur accused. "I don't think I received adequate warning."_  
 _Bilbo reached between Bofur's legs; Bofur lifted his hips for better access._  
 _"Now Bo," Bilbo said, voice deceptively sweet. "You never struck me as the type that would want a warning."_  
 _Bilbo's fingers massaged Bofur's entrance, slicking it, relaxing it._  
 _He said, "In fact, I thought you were the adventurous type."_  
 _"I am, I am," Bofur insisted._  
 _Still touching him, Bilbo lay against Bofur, their faces close together, nearly kissing._  
 _Softly, Bilbo asked, "Do you remember the day after Fili had touched you inside?"_  
 _"Aye, and you were there for me, soothing me, making things better like you always do."_  
 _"You said you felt like it meant something, like it changed things, allowing him to touch you like that."_  
 _"It did," Bofur said._  
 _"You two did that to me last night, but especially you. I want you to know that connection, that closeness that you said you felt that day--"_  
 _Bilbo pushed two fingers in him at once, making Bofur howl._  
 _"--I feel it, too," Bilbo finished._  
 _"_ Fuck! _"_

_Bilbo plunged his tongue into Bofur's mouth, rocking his clothed body against Bofur's half-naked one while he moved his fingers within him. Bofur moaned against him, scarcely believing Bilbo--his Bilbo--was caressing him from the inside out._

_Bilbo shifted lower, teasingly tonguing at the head of Bofur's cock._

_"See, if I rub just so--" Bilbo massaged Bofur along his spot. "--you drip so sweetly for me to lap up."_  
 _Bofur mewled and panted; Bilbo swirled his tongue over the tip._  
 _"Suck me off and you'll have enough to drink," Bofur drawled._  
 _Bilbo hummed with amusement. "Such naughty language! Is that what you need?"_  
 _"Aye, I need you to make me come. Suck it out of me while you finger my arse."_  
 _Bilbo pretended to think._  
 _Bofur begged, "Please! I want, I_ need _to give it to you, just like this. I've dreamed of your fingers inside me while you--fuck!"_

_Bilbo engulfed him. He moved his fingers in concert with his mouth, pushing in while he tightened and pulled back, all while Bofur tensed and tensed. He felt it building, his head growing heavy as his bollocks pulled tight. He gasped for air in short bursts, reaching out for something to grab in anticipation. He emitted a long wail just ahead of his orgasm breaking. Relief washed over him and he shuddered, pulsing burst after burst into Bilbo's throat. The hobbit grunted and moaned soft wisps of pleasure as he consumed every drop, ending with one last maddening squeeze along Bofur's softening shaft._

Fili exhaled sharply, disentangling his hands from Bofur's hair.  
"That, that was...that," Fili stuttered.  
Bofur climbed up to kiss him. "I didn't save you any this time. I got a little greedy."  
"That was amazing," Fili finally managed to say. "Did Bilbo push in two fingers straight away or did you do that just for me?"  
"He did it just like that."  
"Well, wasn't my Bo so lucky today?" Fili said affectionately.  
Bofur said, "I've not finished the story yet."  
"There's more?"  
Bofur slicked himself. "There is, but I need to fuck you first."  
Fili grinned. "Impatient."  
"Oh, I've been patient enough today and that's a fact," Bofur said, sinking in full with one push.

*****

Thorin and Kili had Bilbo wrapped in their arms between them, talking quietly.

"I told Thorin about our vision of Yavanna and Mahal," Bilbo said.  
Glancing over to Thorin, Kili said, "And what do you think?"  
Thorin raised his eyebrows, his expression earnest. "I think it is astounding and remarkable."  
"He believes us, Kee," Bilbo added.  
Kili face split into a grin, happy to let someone in on their secret. "Isn't it wonderful?"  
"It is, but wait? You didn't think I would believe you?" Thorin asked.  
"You have to admit it sounds rather fanciful," Kili said. "If we had not been there ourselves, we might wonder."  
"Well, didn't Fili believe you? And Bofur?"  
Bilbo cleared his throat. "I, uh, haven't told them yet."  
"Oh but you must!" Thorin said, pushing up on his elbow to look at Bilbo. "Think of what solace it would give them!"  
Bilbo reached up to stroke Thorin's cheek. "I know, but it isn't quite something to merely blurt out. It simply hasn't been the right time yet."  
A small, wondrous smile grew on Thorin's face. "So I'm the first of your lovers to know?"  
"You're the first person we've told at all," Kili said.

Thorin licked his lips, feeling the heat of tears pricking his eyes a second time. He snuggled into Bilbo's side again, pressing a kiss to his chest.

"I love you, so dearly," Thorin whispered.

*****

By the time Bofur found his orgasm, Fili's prick was growing stiff again. Bofur landed next to him on the bed, panting and flushed, and Fili rolled over to kiss him.

Fili flirted. "Will the second half of your tale take care of this for me, or should I suss out my own method of making it go away?"  
"Oh, it will take care of it. Just give me a moment to catch my breath." Bofur glanced down. "Of course, I wasn't as delightfully hard as you are at this point in the story."

_Bilbo stayed with Bofur's cock after he had come, kissing and licking at it, pulling it into his mouth and enjoying the feeling of it softer on his tongue._

_"You know I'm older than Fee and Kee. It isn't going to wake up again that quickly."_  
 _Answered Bilbo, "First of all, you're not that much older, and secondly, I've seen you recover every bit as fast as Fee before. In fact, I would say you are still very much in your prime."_  
 _Bofur bit his lip to fight against his smile; he lost._  
 _"You flatter me."_  
 _"You deserve it. I mean, gracious, Bo, just look at you!" Bilbo stroked over Bofur's thigh and hipbone. "So strong and desirable. This cock! It is a thick one, you know. I'm impressed Fee can take it with so little preparation. Then again, I've heard Fee likes a tiny bit of pain with his pleasure."_  
 _"Aye, he does," Bofur replied._  
 _"And the way you feel inside! Snug, hot, smooth, and so sensitive. How does Fee ever decide how best to bed you? I imagine it would be a constant struggle deciding between getting split open by your monster or to sliding into this velvet heaven. I don't envy the decision, but I surely envy him. What a lovely fuck you must be!"_

_Bofur's prick twitched with Bilbo's talk, but his stomach also fluttered and his heart raced like mad. The images Bilbo was putting in his head--he should not be saying these things! Bofur dearly hoped he would continue._

_"I've got to feel that bliss again," Bilbo announced._

_Crawling upward, he urged Bofur to remove his tunic, rendering him completely nude. Bilbo slicked his fingers and stretched along Bofur's body. Bofur felt Bilbo's clothes against his skin, a subtle but effective means to illustrate the balance of authority in this encounter. He smiled to himself. He missed Bilbo's skin, but this was enjoyable in its own right. Again, Bilbo pushed two digits inside him, his movements gentle and slight._

_"How does it feel?" Murmured Bilbo._  
 _Bofur sighed raggedly. "Rather grand."_

_Smiling, Bilbo continued his careful ministrations. When Bofur's breathing changed, Bilbo stroked inside him with more purpose. It wasn't long before Bofur's erection fully returned._

_Biting at Bofur's earlobe, Bilbo said, "See? That is the cock of a virile dwarf, indeed."_  
 _Bofur groaned in response._  
 _Whispering in Bofur's ear, he said, "I'm going to make it come again...just like this."_  
 _Bofur sucked in a breath. "No hands?"_  
 _"Only the one inside you."_  
 _"_ Mahal! _"_

_Bilbo's lips opened Bofur's and he slipped his tongue inside. Bofur closed his lips around Bilbo's tongue; Bilbo broke his hold and sucked at his lip. The kiss went from playful to filthy to tender, Bilbo's hand never ceasing in the pleasure he was massaging out of his lover. Bofur couldn't control the sounds and curses escaping his mouth as Bilbo teased him out further and further. He was riding along the wave now, drawn out tight in delightful agony. Bofur didn't try or ask to touch himself, no matter how frantic he felt, trusting his deliverance to Bilbo completely. In the end, it was Bilbo who was begging, pleading with Bofur to come for him._

_Bilbo moaned with him in those last moments leading up to his release, shouting with him when it finally erupted in copious spurts on Bofur's stomach._

_"Gods, the way you flutter around me! How fantastic you feel!" Bilbo breathed._

_Bofur had come like this before--one time most unexpectedly--but he and Fili were already bonded the first time he managed to finish without having his cock stroked. Today, he was unprepared for the way it quaked through both body and soul, affecting him to his core. Perhaps it was merely the love he already felt, but something fizzed in his blood, faintly reminiscent of the feeling he experienced when he had first been imprinted by Fili. Bilbo eased out of him, kissing him._

Fili's hole snapped rapidly, rhythmically around Bofur's fingers as he came. Bofur cleaned him with his tongue, bring up swipe up for Fili to have a taste.

"Mm, you are such a gorgeous liar," Fili rasped dreamily.  
Bofur protested, "Liar? I am no such thing!"  
"Bilbo honestly did of all that to you, fully dressed, wanting nothing in return, this very afternoon?"  
"You don't have to sound so surprised!"  
"No, I'm not! Well, I am, but not because I don't think you would be appealing to Bilbo."  
Bofur quirked a little grin. "Well, I have to confess, I improvised that last part where I licked you clean."  
Fili studied Bofur for a moment, letting out a laugh.  
"Well, then, I guess when Bilbo makes a decision, he goes all in, doesn't he?" Fili said.  
Bofur straightened out the blanket, pulling it over them. "I guess he does."

Fili rolled against him. Exhausted from the day and two orgasms, Fili soon found sleep. The sex sounds from down the hall seemed to also be at a lull. Bofur lay awake with a smile playing about his lips, remembering the rest of his time alone with Bilbo.

_Bofur felt the echos of his climax while Bilbo kissed him and lovingly cleaned him up._

_Bilbo settled in next to him. "You're still trembling," he whispered._  
 _"I can't seem to help it."_

_And he couldn't. Though they had only been to bed less than an hour and Bilbo's prick stayed in his trousers the whole time, Bofur felt as though he had been turned inside out._

_Bilbo rested his head on his hand, softly caressing the length of Bofur's torso._

_"I'm sorry for being so careless with your feelings," he said. "Perhaps I didn't fall in love with you first, or you only, but do not doubt from this day onward that fallen in love with you I most certainly have."_  
 _"I love you, too," Bofur said, gazing up at him._  
 _Bilbo kissed him tenderly. "This is only the beginning, Bo. I promise."  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title stolen from Gioia's "From The Inside." Appropriate, I think.


	58. Reassurance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We start our chapter shortly after Kili, Bilbo, and Thorin get their sexual second wind.

"No, please. I want to see you like this," Thorin said to Bilbo. "On top of me, just for a few moments."  
Bilbo straddled Thorin's hips, slick and ready to take him in.  
Thorin plucked Bilbo's crown off the bedside table, Bilbo having removed it to snuggle.  
"Put your crown back on."  
Bilbo positioned it on his head. "What about Kee?" he asked.  
Kili snaked along Thorin's side, brushing Bilbo's leg. "Yes, what of me?" he purred into Thorin's ear, licking it.  
Thorin wet his lips. "Perhaps we could use this time...productively, if Kili will get on his stomach." __

Thorin oiled his prick, then dipped back in the oil dish, scooping up enough to dribble a small stream into Kili's crevice.

Kili smiled into the pillow, anticipating his first set of thick, dwarven fingers to breach him. Thorin's forbidden kisses were arousing, but this? This would be simply _wicked_. Breathing deeply to relax his muscles, he was surprised how much he wanted this. He hoped it would not upset Bilbo. After their experience with Fili and Bofur the other night, Kili had discovered he had _quite_ a proclivity for a lover (any lover among them) being opened by someone not planning on doing the taking. 

"Bilbo, why don't you open Kili up while I fuck you?" Thorin suggested seductively. 

Bilbo lowered himself onto Thorin. He made a show of undulating his body with each pass, knowing how the jewelry caught the light. He closed his eyes and savored the feeling, the fullness, the _rightness_ of having Thorin inside him before he reached over, taking the suggestion to prepare Kili. Pushing inside, a moan escaped him. Getting fucked and fingering Kili open at the same time seemed like an obscene fantasy, but it was happening under his very fingertips. 

Kili felt some disappointment that Thorin wasn't going to be the one touching him, but it was short-lived. Once Bilbo slipped inside, it was all about his hobbit. No matter what scenario Kili's carnal mind might cook up in regards to their other bedmates, Bilbo's touch was _never_ a disappointment, not after now long he pined for it. He moaned and wriggled, desperate for Bilbo's cock inside him after only two fingers, but he did not beg. If Thorin wanted these moments to gaze upon and make love to Bilbo before he left them for months, Kili could certainly wait a few moments for his turn. 

Bilbo loved Thorin inside him just like this, but the need to come and the anticipation of being inside Kili felt like it was trying to claw its way through his skin.

"Thorin," Bilbo panted, withdrawing from Kili. "How do you wish to mark me? Here, now, or while I'm deep inside him?"  
"I want to finish as close to yours as I may," Thorin answered. 

Pitching forward, Bilbo's lips strained to meet Thorin's in a sloppy, filthy kiss, never ceasing his steady rise and fall around his lover. Thorin held Bilbo's head as they consumed each other, rocking his body into Bilbo's and moaning into his mouth. Bilbo cried out upon returning upright--Thorin had grabbed his thighs and pushed into him with deeper, harder strokes. 

Thorin drank in the beauty of Bilbo above him, glistening in fire-lit gold, crowned as his consort, moaning and writhing sensually. He did his best to commit it to memory in the moments before Bilbo moved to a new position. 

Kili was urged on his back by Bilbo. Crawling forward, Bilbo licked into his mouth, kissing him hungrily. Midway through, Kili felt an extra weight and Bilbo's moan vibrated through his skull. He realized Thorin wasn't waiting for them to continue, having pushed inside Bilbo already. Kili spread his legs and tilted his hips back, waiting, silently begging for some of the same. 

Driven on by the maddening delight of the cock within him and the look of sweet desperation on Kili's face, Bilbo pressed into him. Kili's softly whispered, "yes" sent a lovely shiver down his spine. With Kili beneath him and Thorin at his back, Bilbo rolled his hips in steady rhythm. A desire welled within him to take them both inside him again as he had that fateful afternoon. He had promised Kili a proper claiming tonight, though, and he meant to deliver it.

"Where will you come?" Bilbo whispered to Kili.  
"Now, here, I can't wait," Kili gasped in reply.  
Bilbo reached between them, pumping Kili's prick. 

Thorin held onto Bilbo's hip with one hand, snapping his own to match Bilbo's cadence. He smoothed over Bilbo's back with the other, luxuriating in the feel of his skin under his fingers. Bilbo whispered to Kili and shifted. Thorin leaned against Bilbo, his hand trailing down Bilbo's arm, ending at Bilbo's hand around Kili's cock. Thorin's first thought was to grip around Bilbo's fingers, perhaps even push Bilbo's hand aside so Thorin could finish Kili off himself. Unbidden, an image of a too-young, grinning Kili flashed through his mind. As it had a few times this evening already, the resulting swell of shame chased the thought of pleasuring Kili away. The thought dampened Thorin's physical desire as well. He returned both hands to Bilbo's hips, pumping into him harder as he struggled to catch up. Kili's beautiful whines and Bilbo's own rapturous groans signaled their orgasms were not long off. 

"I can't, oh, fuck!" Bilbo wailed. 

He was sure he was going to finish first, but before Bilbo finished his thought, Kili was grunting and taut under him, coming in his hand. Bilbo's own orgasm followed, drawn out and made more intense by Thorin's hastened thrusting. 

"I feel you," Thorin moaned. "Gods, it is like you're sucking it out of-"  
A shout interrupted Thorin's sentence. Holding tightly to Bilbo, Thorin came, pulsing inside him, the two of them experiencing their final shudders together. 

The three of them gingerly separated. Glancing down, Kili said, "Well, I'm definitely going to need to clean this up before bed."

He climbed over to get the rag off the nightstand when his hips were stilled by Bilbo. His cheeks were spread and Bilbo lapped at his entrance. Kili swore and moaned. 

Thorin stopped what he was doing when Bilbo started tonguing Kili. The hobbit looked back at him mischievously.

Bilbo said, "I couldn't restrain myself with this hole, dripping with what I just did to him. Isn't it glorious, Thorin? Could you resist a taste?"

Thorin felt a quiver deep inside. Was Bilbo honestly offering him a lick of his lover's arsehole? Thorin looked at Kili, exposed and wet with Bilbo's spend as well as his saliva. He ran his tongue over his lips. Surely The Maker had to be testing his will. Even more enticing, Kili was not arguing. He wasn't even giggling or making a joke. He kept his arse in the air, as though he was waiting, but was he waiting only because he thought that was Bilbo's wish? Once again, guilt diverted Thorin's desire. 

"I can rarely resist a taste," Thorin flirted, diving down to lick at Bilbo's hole, instead. 

It was hardly a hardship. Thorin adored the filthy, exquisite pleasure of tasting himself against the texture of Bilbo's most intimate opening. 

After several moments had passed, Bilbo nudged back and Thorin stopped. Finally retrieving the forgotten rag for Kili, Bilbo lovingly wiped down his chest. 

"That's one way to clean us all up, isn't it?" he said, winking.  
"I'll say it is," Kili happily replied. 

Kili caught Thorin's eye and smiled. When Thorin smiled back, Kili rose up to kiss him. Holding him closely, it only took a small push of his tongue against his lips before Thorin opened up for him. Kili didn't understand--how could Thorin kiss him so filthy, so easily, but be seemingly uninterested in anything happening below his waist? When they parted, Thorin rested his forehead against Kili's for a moment before releasing him entirely and helping Bilbo out of his jewelry.

Once Bilbo was again naked save for his rings, the fire screen was drawn and the candles extinguished. The three of them scooted under the covers, Bilbo in the middle, and shared sweet kisses goodnight. Sleep came for them quickly. 

*****

Bilbo stirred early the next morning, with hunger and the need for the water closet shaking him out of his repose. Extricating himself from underneath his sleep-weighted lovers proved to be impossible without waking them both. Thorin groaned and held him more tightly; Kili mumbled a complaint.

"Please, I need to get up," Bilbo said.

Thorin reluctantly rolled off Bilbo and pushed at Kili until he did the same. Thorin blinked at the morning sun filtering into the room, regarding Bilbo with blurry, tired eyes.

"Why don't the two of you rest a little longer?" Bilbo suggested. "You especially should take this opportunity to sleep in a bit, Thorin."

Bilbo climbed on his hands and knees, kissing Kili and then Thorin. "I'm going to make us a lovely breakfast, so it will be a while. I'll come get you when it is ready."

Throwing on his dressing gown, Bilbo blew a kiss from the doorway and bounced out of sight. 

Kili scooted over to Thorin, pressing his body against his like naked morning cuddles were something they did every day. Thorin awkwardly put his arm around him; Kili sighed contentedly. 

"Kili?"  
"Mm?"  
"Are you honestly okay with this? I mean, all of this?" Thorin asked.  
Kili shifted, resting his chin and palm on Thorin's chest, half atop him and half off. "Didn't we discuss this already?"  
"Yes, but Bilbo is out of the room, now, and I want you to be as truthful as you can. You both know I feel, reservations and all, but I would have you tell me if this was only for Bilbo."  
"Rest assured, Bilbo and I are as truthful and raw with each other as he is endeavoring to be with you. We would have to be to have gotten this far, you know, given the complexities of his heart. Believe me when I tell you I am personally happy with this arrangement. I get the one I love and I get all sorts of pleasure and sex. Bilbo loves me and I trust now he will never stop, not as long as he still draws breath."  
"You're sure, then?"  
"I'm very sure."  
"Good."  
Kili was quiet for a moment before asking, "Does this mean you'll let yourself touch me, now?"  
"What?"  
"Not right now, but when the three of us are at it again. You've been hesitating. The only things that haven't made me feel a total deviant are the small moments of surrender where you will kiss me or say something filthy to me."  
"I--you aren't a deviant!"  
"Then I don't understand. You seemed to have no problem with stroking me that, um, _that_ day-"  
"-Well, you saw how well that turned out!"  
"But things are different now. Bilbo is different now, too, and I don't think I'm imagining the glimpses I get of you wanting me."  
"Kili, I don't think you are a deviant. I've been thinking it was me, that I was the one who was perverse. These things we do, the things you say, the way you look--you can make me so _hard_ , and then I think that I used to patch up your scrapes, or that I bounced you on my knee and gave you your first bow, and I wonder what in the bloody Void is wrong with me."  
"Did you fantasize about me as a child?"  
"What? No, of course not!"  
"Then you need to let those worries go. We are both adults, in a deeply sexual relationship with a shared lover. Stop thinking of me as your Kili-colt in bed. In bed, I'm Bilbo's husband and your lover, and you are the same."  
Thorin asked, "So you do, then? Desire me when the three of us are together?"  
"Well, sure. Don't you desire me?" 

Thorin leaned down and Kili moved up to meet him. Cupping Kili's face, Thorin parted his lips and languidly took Kili's mouth as his answer. When the kiss broke, Kili tucked himself more solidly into Thorin's side.

"That's settled then," Kili said with a yawn. 

Thorin tugged the blanket up and held him closer. They drifted back toward slumber. 

*****

The smell of frying sausage and the light vanilla of what were possibly pancakes drew Fili and Bofur out of their room. Noticing the master bedroom door was no longer fully closed, they couldn't resist a peek. Kili and Thorin were sound asleep in each other's arms. Bofur raised an eyebrow. Fili's sour expression stayed with him down the hall.

Bilbo had the table half-set when Bofur and Fili walked into the kitchen. He was still working at the meat and the pancakes. 

"Good morning!" Bilbo said cheerily. "I hoped you two worked up an appetite!"  
"Not as much as you three have," Bofur said acerbically.  
Bilbo kissed him soundly on the mouth. "Oh, _you_. None of that now."  
Bofur cracked a smile. 

Fili was impressed with how quickly Bilbo was able to shut down Bofur's oncoming foul mood. Bilbo gave Fili a quick kiss of his own before plating the sausages. Fili hated to have to tell Bilbo about Thorin and Kili when he was so happy, but something compelled him to tell Bilbo the truth.

"Um, Bee? Thorin and Kee...they're, um," Fili rubbed the back of his neck nervously, glancing toward the hallway.  
Bilbo's stomach dropped a bit at Fili's expression.  
"Well," he said tightly. "It is about time to get them up for breakfast, anyhow."

When Fili bit his lip nervously, Bilbo's appetite went away entirely. Taking a deep breath, Bilbo headed for the master bedroom. Were Thorin and Kili playing without him? Sucking? Valar forbid, were they marking each other? Bilbo's mind raced with a dozen heartbreaking things that could have put that look on Fili's face before he even got halfway there.

Air flooded back into his body in heady relief when he saw the picture awaiting him in his bed. Kili and Thorin were cuddled together, asleep. _That_ was what had filled Fili's face with horror and pity? He made a mental note to better explain this part of the arrangement to Fili as he gently shook Kili's foot to wake him. Kili's eyes fluttered open. 

"Kee? Breakfast is ready," Bilbo said.  
Kili woke Thorin with a kiss.  
"Mm?" Thorin mumbled. "Is it time?"  
"Yes, love," Bilbo answered. "I'll pour your pancakes when you get in there, but don't dawdle. Sausages are already on the table."

Kili stretched and yawned his way out of bed. "Waking up to hot pancakes _and_ sausage! Nothing beats being married to a hobbit, does it?"  
Thorin grinned. "No, nothing truly does." 

*****

"Bee, are you okay?" Fili asked, concerned.  
"Of course! Kee and Thorin will be along shortly. They're not particularly dressed at the moment."

Fili regarded Bilbo strongly; Bilbo returned the look with his eyebrows raised and a pointed forward tilt of the head that clearly conveyed, "Yes, and so what?"

Awkwardly, Fili cleared his throat. "Good, then. Um, fine." 

*****

Bilbo had a large breakfast ready, doing the pancakes one person a time so no one would have a cold serving. Bofur glanced at Thorin across the table. They shared an uncomfortable moment and a half-hearted, small smile when their eyes met. Fili also wasn't quite himself, stealing furtive peeks at Kili as though he were trying to solve some manner of mystery. Bilbo had been eating like a creature starved, eager to get to the bottom pancake before it had unpleasantly cooled, only noticing the glaring silence when the urgency in his stomach subsided and the last pancake was gone. He cleared his throat nervously, his eyes darting between the others at the table. He couldn't decide whether to make small chat or to acknowledge the weirdness in a casual morning breakfast with Bofur and Fili after having spent the night shagging Thorin and Kili. Fili saved him the trouble.

"I have questions," Fili said.  
Thorin nodded thoughtfully. "I thought you might, sooner or later."  
"Mostly, I want to know how this-" Fili gestured toward Thorin, Bilbo, and Kili. "-is going to be handled officially. I mean, is Mam to know?"  
Replied Thorin, "We have agreed to keep it to ourselves for the time being, particularly considering I'm about to travel a great distance with Dís and I do not wish to be stuck in that situation if she does not accept the news gracefully. No matter how private the vows, though, I consider us very much married. Speaking of such things, tell me of you. Between the eyeful I had yesterday morning and the dance last night, is it safe to assume you and Bofur have gotten engaged?" 

Fili shot his brother a look, which Kili answered with one of his own. 

Fork paused above his plate, Thorin looked between them, knowing one of their infamous silent conversations when he saw it.  
Asked Thorin, "What's this, then? Have you or haven't you?"  
Sighing, Fili said, "We have, but please, Thorin, for us, for _me_ , please tell no one."  
"The Crown Prince of Erebor has chosen a husband and no one is to know?" Thorin asked.  
"That's just it--the Crown Prince of Erebor. If Mam finds out, and Balin, then there will be no rest until a royal wedding happens in Erebor. We're already questioned about it as it is."  
"Forgive me, Fili, but if you don't want to get married, then why are you betrothed?" Thorin asked.  
"Oi! Sitting right here, thank you," Bofur groused.  
Thorin put down his fork. "No offense meant, but you must admit it defies logic."  
"I want to marry Bofur, very much, but having the event--the big to-do in Erebor--carries with it a certain expectation. I know it has already stressed matters with your advisers, with court, that the Crown Prince is faffing about the Shire playing hobbit. Imagine that I return to Erebor to be wed. A rite of passage such as this carries a weight, an expectation that now, _now_ it is time to settle down to prepare to rule. I know I can't get away with not having the wedding, eventually, but for now, I want to be here with Bo, Kee, and Bee--no schedules, no urgent matters of state, just being happy and in love."  
"The king in me wants to be bitter and tell you we sacrifice a lot of things for our people, but the lover in me wishes I had done just that with Bilbo back when I had the chance," Thorin said. "I will keep your secret until you decide it is time to announce it yourself."  
Fili exhaled in a whoosh of relief. "Thank you."  
"Bofur, I told you how I felt about this potential marriage back in Erebor. Things have changed between us--all of us, it seems--and perhaps another time I might have reservations about a dwarf wanting to marry Fili who is in love with my very husband, but our circumstances are uncommon at best. Unbelievable things have happened, but as long as you are honest with our Fili and love him truly, I have no problem with this union coming to pass. Regardless of any envy I might feel, I think far less worthy people have worn the title 'prince.'"  
"Thank you, Thorin," Bofur said. 

*****

The matter of bathing brought with it a new awkwardness. Bilbo wanted to share a bath with Thorin and Kili both, but he knew the three of them could not fit. With a kiss, Thorin insisted Bilbo bathe with Kili. He planned to pack his things at the inn and return with them to Bag End ahead of lunch. He did not want to waste any of tomorrow morning's precious final moments between them occupied with anything so mundane.

After Thorin left, Kili and Bilbo washed each other up. Bilbo realized they hadn't had much time alone since proposing the new arrangements and, although they did not endeavor to get each other off, their time in the bath was tender and sensual. They caressed each other, murmuring words of love and reassurance. 

Kili loved the extra partners in bed, but these personal, quiet moments were precious. He made a mental note to work out something with Fili and Bofur so each couple could have their private time with their bondeds without hurting any feelings. There were going to be nights where Kili would want Bilbo and Bilbo alone. Other nights, though...

"Bee? What would you have thought if Thorin had helped you make me come when you were stroking me? Or opened me up instead of asking you to do it?"  
Bilbo shrugged. "If it looks half as arousing in person as it does in my head, I imagine I would have found it rather stimulating."  
Having given Thorin the go-ahead, Kili wanted to ensure no repeats of past missteps.  
He pressed, "So those things? Still okay under our terms?"  
"Kee, the only things not under our terms are you two playing at bedsport without me and the two of you fucking, and--Eru forbid--if you decide you need those things, we will simply have to talk about them. As an aside, though, I'm frankly surprised Thorin hasn't done more than he has, or that you haven't done more to him in persuasion. I don't think he'd turn down your mouth on his cock, for example."  
"Thus far, I've been hesitant to do much more than let him know he's allowed to touch. I guess I've been wanting him to make the first overture, though I still don't know how eager I am to suck a cock that isn't yours."  
Bilbo rinsed the soap from Kili's chest. "We've got one night left. Maybe he'll come around."  
Remembering the conversation from the morning, Kili smiled. "Yes, I think he might." 

*****

While Bilbo was drying up the mess he and Kili made so Bofur and Fili could have their go of bathing, Fili entered the room and closed the door behind him.

"Fee? Is there something I can do for you?"  
"I wanted to talk to you. About Bo."  
Bilbo studied Fili's face for any sign of anger or disapproval. "Oh?"  
"What you did for him yesterday-"  
"-I apologize," Bilbo interrupted, fearing the worst. "I didn't start a quarrel between you, did I?"  
"You didn't let me finish, and no, there was no quarrel," Fili said. "He's taking this all very seriously, and yesterday did nothing but deepen his feelings for you. I just--I want to make sure you understand what this means to him, what it is doing to him. I am confident in the love Bofur and I have for each other and I have no doubt our connection is profound enough that I could pick up the pieces if you shatter him, but that's just the thing, Bilbo. I don't _want_ to have to put him back together yet again. Our happy, sweet Bo has cried too many tears, worn too many frowns, and has had his moods turning foul far too frequently lately. It isn't in his nature to be moody and sad--it is like the sky being green and the grass blue."  
Bilbo furrowed his brow. "I thought the two of you were enjoying yourself and what we do together. Has it gotten to be too much for you? Do we need to end it?" 

Bilbo held his breath waiting for Fili's reply. He had already let himself fall well past the point of being able to end it comfortably with Bofur--the mere thought of it wrenched his gut. 

" _I'm_ fine with it. Truly, I've not begun to explore what the four of us could get up to. This isn't about me. It is about Bo. I've pulled you aside before, in Lake Town and again in Erebor, to ask you to think about what you are doing. Lately, I've felt the need to do it again."  
Solemnly, Bilbo asked, "What would you have me do?"  
"If you are going to love him, then truly love him. I know it sounds strange to say this to someone with so many lovers to please, but I beg of you--if you are going to whisper promises of love to him, don't turn around only to make him an afterthought."  
"I do truly love him," Bilbo replied. "Yesterday was my attempt to make him feel cherished and adored, not to buoy some manner of false hope. He's not an afterthought. Neither of you are."  
Fili smiled. "I had hoped you would reply thus."  
"I know I hurt Thorin, then I hurt Kili repeatedly, and I understand now that Bofur suffered much silent pain during the time I did not fully realize his feelings...and you had to watch all of it, our Fee, with your own sensitive heart, feeling it ache every time I broke the heart of someone you loved. I don't blame your questions, nor would I blame you if your tone had been more harsh. It is my hope that I have learned enough to never hurt any of them again, or hurt you vicariously."  
"That is my hope as well. I love you, Bee, dearly like kin, but you hold three of my favorite hearts in your hands. I cannot help but feel protective."  
Bilbo brushed a kiss across Fili's lips. "I'd be far more concerned if you weren't." 

*****

As the guests arrived for luncheon in Michel Delving, Thorin, Bilbo, Fili, Kili, and Bofur were all surprised to find Gandalf himself talking with Isumbras.

"You've returned!" Bilbo greeted him.  
Gandalf smiled. "Yes, I feared I might be detained, but it was always my goal to set out with your group. There's safety in numbers, and I shall be traveling to Rivendell next, anyhow. I may as well go with Nerithel, Daerbes, and Nîfon."  
"Oh, and more besides!" Bilbo said. "The dwarrows and Beorn are also taking the longer passage to stop in Rivendell."  
Said Gandalf, "Good, then the letter I sent ahead of us will still be true. I informed Lord Elrond there might be a contingent of dwarrows and a Beorn who are in need of recharging on their way back East."  
Thorin gaped at him. "You told them we were coming already?"  
"To be fair, it had been one of the options considered before I left. I had faith your good sense would prevail in this matter," Gandalf said.  
Thorin glanced down, then back up at Gandalf. "Humbly, I thank you for looking out for our interests."  
"Well, Thorin!" Gandalf said merrily, resting an affectionate hand on his shoulder. "This time in the Shire has done wonders for your sense of diplomacy!"  
"And my humility. As a rebuilding nation, I'm realizing Erebor has more use for strong allies than old prejudices."  
"Spoken like Durin himself," Gandalf said.  
Thorin bowed his head deeply in thanks. 

*****

Throughout the meal, Gandalf found his eyes drawn repeatedly to Fili, Kili, Bofur, and Bilbo. The unique energy between them had dimmed somewhat after the incident at the creek, but it radiated now more than ever, electrifying the air around them. He wished to delve into it further, but his fate in this world was to keep darker energies in check, leaving little time to satisfy mere curiosities of the sweeter mysteries of light. 

*****

"Bilbo," Gandalf called. "Come take a pipe with me."

Bilbo joined Gandalf outside the hall and they packed their pipes. "Here, let us walk and smoke."

Leaving the hall behind them, Gandalf said seriously, "Bilbo, I want to talk to you of your ring."  
Bilbo sighed. "Again?"  
"There are many magic rings in this world, Bilbo, and none of them are to be used lightly. I would not be much of a wizard if I did not take interest in matters such as this."  
"I suppose you are right, as usual," Bilbo groused. "So, what of it?"  
"Have you been moved to put it on since the wedding?"  
"No, it is still in my drawer."  
"Good. It is yours, of course, but I would ask you not to use its invisibility as a favor to me. I should like you to tuck it away in an envelope and place it somewhere special--perhaps in your mother's puzzle box."  
"Well, um," Bilbo cleared his throat nervously. "I don't have the box any longer. I--erm, I gave it to Thorin...as a mathom."  
Gandalf's eyebrows shot up. "Indeed?"  
Bilbo found the bowl of his pipe suddenly and endlessly fascinating. "Yes," he mumbled. 

Gandalf studied him for a moment, knowing full well the gesture far outpaced a mere mathom...and doubly aware what it must have meant to Thorin. He cleared his throat, forcing himself back to the matter at hand. 

"Perhaps not the box, then, but somewhere it might not be disturbed. It is different, this invisibility, even for a magic ring. There are other features, such as you being compelled to use it in times of great crisis-"  
"When else would I wish to be invisible except for times such as those?" Bilbo said, growing unusually agitated.  
"In times of great crisis," Gandalf reiterated strongly, "as well as times of deep despair. I believe it warrants caution and more research before you wear it on or close to your person again."  
Bilbo looked into Gandalf's eyes, finding something soothing there. He exhaled and his shoulders relaxed.  
"I will do as you request. I shouldn't have much use for it at home, anyway," Bilbo said. "I'll tuck it away in my chest of particular keepsakes."  
Gandalf tried not to show his relief. "Thank you, Bilbo."  
Thinking a moment more, he added, "One more thing. Please do not give it to Thorin, or any of the other dwarves."  
Bilbo answered, "I had not planned on it, but may I inquire why not?"  
"Thorin has fallen victim to gold corruption once before. Not knowing what power holds sway in this trinket, would you want to risk it with anyone you loved who might have similar susceptibility in their blood?"  
Gandalf silently reasoned it was not a lie, although it was not the full truth.  
Satisfied, Bilbo said, "I had not thought of it that way. I shall tuck it away safely and not tell anyone where it is, not even Kee."  
"When I return again, I will let you know if I've learned of anything further."  
"When will that be?"

Gandalf turned back toward the hall, laying a gentle hand on Bilbo's back to steer him along. 

He said, "As often as I can, which may not be as often as we'd like. I will tell you a secret, though. Long ago, I promised your mother I would have a care for your future--she so adored you, Bilbo. She so worried you'd grow bitter roots once she was gone. Although I've kept my distance, I've also kept my promise, and I intend on continuing to keep it."  
Bilbo's mouth was open and he was trying to speak, but couldn't exactly settle on what he wished to ask.  
Gandalf seemed to guess Bilbo's question. "Yes, my choice of you was far from random. I knew your mother, had she been unattached, would have not only followed me, but rushed me out the door and down the path with 13 grouchy, hungry dwarrows wondering where their supper was. She would have approved of the risk you took the next day, far preferring it to you spending the rest of your years here, alone with your doilies, tea, and books. Moreover, from the time you were a fauntling, I saw something in your eyes."  
"Oh?"  
Gandalf nodded, smiling kindly. "Your Tookish glint faded as the years went by, but it never left you."

Pondering the new development with Thorin, along with whatever alliance Bilbo had with Fili, Kili, and Bofur that caused them to virtually glow even in full daylight, Gandalf quietly mused that Bilbo's Tookish nature seemed to be quite vigorously healthy.

*****

Having a conversation of their own inside the hall, Fili glanced around for potential eavesdroppers before confiding in Thorin. Confident they would not be overheard, Fili leaned and and spoke.

"There was something I learned in Rivendell I thought you should know, but with you so upset over the wedding, I thought it might be too heartless to impart. Now that you have your own relationship with Bee, I feel like I can share it without cruelty."  
"What is it?" asked Thorin.  
"You remember Gandalf telling you Lord Elrond has visions."  
"Yes."  
Fili regarded Thorin seriously. "When we were there this summer, he shared a vision he had during our first visit. He saw us die in the battle Thorin. You, me, and Kili, fighting side by side."  
"He's not very good at visions, then. We lived."  
"But why? What kept the three of us from dying together, hemmed in by orcs and Azog the way you and the party were?"  
Thinking on it, Thorin said, "You, Kili, and Bilbo weren't with us. You were able to come to my aid."  
"And why?" Fili pressed.  
"Because you left."  
"Because _Kili_ left," Fili stressed. "Kili followed Bilbo and I followed Kili. Elrond's visions are only echoes of what is to be if things stayed their present course. It wasn't until after Rivendell that Kili swore himself to Bilbo, choosing to follow him when you cast him out, and me following after. Kili's love for Bilbo changed what was to be, putting us outside your company and able to take out Azog away from the rest."  
"So all that time I was heartbroken and angry, and it was their love that saved our lives? You're right, that would have been a heartless thing to tell me when I was mourning Bilbo's love. It is nearly a heartless thing, now! Why tell me at all?" asked Thorin.  
"Because incredible good came of that. We continued to live, to love another day. I want you to know, whenever you think of those dark days, or when you have dark memories of breaking your engagement and sending Bilbo away, it may do you good to remember that in the end it saved us all."

Though Fili had made his point, he fidgeted as Thorin had seen his nephews do a hundred times in the past when something still weighed on their minds. 

Leadingly, Thorin questioned, "And?"  
Fili paused for a moment, taking a breath and finding his voice. "Elrond had no vision of Bilbo past September, thinking he might have died. Remember, it had all been contingent on whether you were here or not, which is why Gandalf was so agitated to see you?"  
Thorin crossed his arms. "Are you going to blame me for the second vision?"  
"No, but when you are vexed with jealousy about Bo's place in Bilbo's life, I want you to recall that it was Bo's love that saved Bilbo, just as Kee's love had saved us. Bo fished him out of that creek at danger to himself, working on him frantically to bring him back around. Gandalf himself has said Bilbo owes his life to Bo. I just...I would like you to think on that the next time you start to feel bitter about Bo's and Bilbo's feelings for each other."  
Thorin nodded solemnly. "I understand, and I will endeavor to do so."

*****

Dís kept an eye on Bilbo and Thorin but, other than kind glances, they did not seem to be interested in sneaking off alone. " _Perhaps I have been mistaken_ ," she thought.

*****

Luncheon continued on through tea, Bilbo (and his housemates, Ori, and assorted hobbits) wanting to spend as much time in the company of their friends as possible before they departed. A few weeks ago, it had seemed unreal to Bilbo to have this odd amalgamation of people in the Shire. Now he had become so accustomed to their presence, the Shire wasn't going to be the same without them. He glanced at Thorin. They had one last night together, but it was going to be far from enough.

*****

Going on dinner, the gathering started to diffuse. Thorin was glad of it. He understood they would all miss each other, but he wanted to spend his final evening of this trip in the company of the ones he would miss the most. He was ready to retreat to Bag End for a quiet supper in--and a less-than-quiet night in bed! Thorin hoped Bilbo was of the same mind.

Bilbo had just finished hugging good evening to Beorn and the elves when Thorin found a moment to catch his ear. 

"What now, my love?" Thorin asked.  
Smiling, Bilbo squeezed Thorin's hand. "Now, we go home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone!


	59. Domesticity And Perversity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner and bed

Thorin watched Fili, Kili, Bofur, and Bilbo weave back and forth, prepping and mixing, getting dinner ready in a lovely, domestic dance. He felt a twinge of envy. Thorin had not pondered on it prior to now, but he had never prepared a meal with Bilbo. Bombur cooked on the road, Beorn cooked at Beorn's, his chefs cooked at Erebor, and Bilbo, his nephews, or other hobbits cooked for him here. It struck him as wrong, particularly given the cultural significance of food for hobbits, and he rose to rectify the error.

"Sit down, Thorin! You deserve a rest with all the travel that is in front of you!" Bilbo admonished him.  
"I'd like a chance to make dinner with you," Thorin said. "Kili, Fili, and Bofur have been cooking with you for months and I've not done it once."

Bilbo caught the indignation in Thorin's voice and considered his request--truly considered it--realizing he had committed a sin of the hearth by not allowing his love to cook with him or for him. 

"Now that you bring it to my attention, I agree that is a grave oversight, indeed," Bilbo said. "Now, which dish should you take up?"

Bilbo decided to entrust him with the potatoes as well as the pan-gravy, and Thorin excelled at both--to Bilbo's great delight. Thorin explained how he and Dís often shared cooking duties in Ered Luin and that he was no stranger to preparing a meal.

Bilbo had intentionally made large quantities of anything he thought would travel well, and Fili anticipated he would need the oven until nearly bedtime for the bread he planned to send with Thorin, his Mam, and Beorn (who was especially fond of it). Kili lamented he could not make a proper pie to give Beorn, as they did not travel well. Thorin showed Kili how to roll out a thicker crust, fold it over his filling, and crimp it to make wee hand-pies.

"Now, those still won't bang around inside a pack without damage, but they'll do long enough for him to have a taste for tomorrow's dinner," Thorin said. 

He noticed Bilbo staring at him as if he had never seen him before.  
"What?" Thorin asked.  
Bilbo joked, "What have you done with our king, imposter?"  
"Hush, you," Thorin said, laughing.  
"I didn't know you could bake, too."  
"Well, now you do!" Thorin said, dotting Bilbo's nose with a smudge of flour.  
"I should have had you cooking for me all along!" Bilbo exclaimed cheerily.  
Thorin replied tenderly, "It would have been my pleasure."  
Bilbo pushed up on his toes and pressed a sweet kiss to Thorin's lips before returning to his pot on the stove.

*****

Dinner was more relaxed than breakfast had been. Bofur felt ripples of uneasiness when Bilbo and Thorin had cozy moments, but he made attempts to scuttle them quickly. Instead, he complimented Thorin's contributions (rightly, because they were delicious) and added to the conversation here and there with observations and jokes. By the time dessert had rolled around, Bofur had nearly forgotten Thorin was his former adversary.

For the first time since Lake Town, Thorin sat next to Bilbo, sharing a meal with little tension between any of them. Bilbo stole a bite off his plate, so Thorin nipped at Bilbo's ear in retaliation...though really, it was just to hear the hobbit giggle with glee. He recalled all those meals, in Erebor especially, when he watched Bilbo and Kili playfully interact. In truth, Thorin had long wished he could be a part of the easy togetherness that Bilbo, Kili, Bofur, and Fili all seemed to share around a dinner table and it seemed he was finally getting his wish. Though it was the only and last meal for the time being that he would be granted such, Thorin still felt quite happy and warm.

*****

After dessert, Thorin asked Fili to join him in the study.

"You just want to get out of the dishes!" Bofur teased.  
Without a beat missing, Thorin replied, "Of course I do, but Fili and I may as well discuss things while we're at it."  
"It is a win-win, really," Fili added, grinning slyly.  
"That's fine. We could use settled stomachs before we stir them back up again," Bilbo said flirtatiously.  
Thorin lewdly kissed him, disappearing shortly after with Fili.

Bilbo cleared his throat, glancing up at Bofur to see if it upset him. 

"These, uh, these extras here, do these get packed for the morning?" was all Bofur said.

*****

Fili and Thorin emerged from the study for Fili to pop more risen dough into the oven.

"How much longer are you two going to spend stashed away, whispering of Erebor?" Bilbo asked.  
Thorin glanced up at Fili, who nodded in return.  
"I'm quite done being away from you for the evening, I think," Thorin replied.  
Smiling, Bilbo said, "Good."  
"We only have so much time left as it is," Kili noted. 

They stood for a moment, Bilbo uncomfortably trying to figure out how to tell Fili and Bofur that he wanted to go to bed early with Kili and Thorin so they could shag their brains out. 

"Would you," Bilbo said, coughing nervously. "That is, would it be a problem if-"  
"Durin's beard, Bee! Just go," Fili said. "If I only had one night left before Bo went halfway across Middle Earth, I wouldn't spend it wasting time in the kitchen when a bed is sitting unused."  
Bilbo glanced to Bofur.  
"Look, I agreed to this, didn't I?" Bofur said, forcing a smile for Bilbo. "If I get the benefits, I have to take what comes with them."  
Bofur's eyes flicked to Thorin, who granted him a nod in thanks.  
Bilbo stepped forward, first kissing Fili, and Bofur after. "Thank you."

Walking toward the hall, Thorin suddenly swept Bilbo up off his feet, carrying him the rest of the way. Kili peeked back at Fili over his shoulder with a wink and a lascivious grin. Fili felt an unexpectedly rueful pang.

*****

Bilbo had the foresight to drape towels over the bedding before undressing and it was a good thing, as any care about the blankets went out the window once the clothes came off. All three of them naked, Bilbo, Kili, and Thorin gathered on their knees in the middle of the bed sharing a kiss between the three of them. Their hands roamed freely over one another. Kili tentatively caressed down Thorin's chest, past his navel and to his cock. Thorin grunted and helped himself to a handful of Kili's bum. Bilbo's fingers smoothed across the hand Kili had on Thorin' prick, closing around it along with him.

Thorin allowed Kili's touch, gasping a second time as Bilbo joined him without question or comment. Inwardly, Thorin shook off what were left of his objections (at least for the night) and gave himself over to the experience. 

Bilbo paused to wipe his mouth, leaving Thorin open to give Kili an obscene kiss. Bilbo watched it with interest for a moment before kissing down the side of Thorin's chest. He insinuated himself in between them, first licking Kili's cock, then Thorin's. Pulling them together, he swirled his tongue and ran his lips over them. He had no hope of fitting two thick, dwarf pricks into his mouth at once, but neither Kili nor Thorin seemed to mind. Glancing up, Bilbo saw Thorin biting at Kili's neck and had an idea. He popped up to their height once again and was instantly grabbed by Thorin, playing sudden host to Thorin's tongue against his for several seconds. He pulled away and whispered into Thorin's ear. 

"Given his generosity with both his heart and mine, I think our Kili might be due some especially pleasurable attention, don't you?"  
Thorin turned to look at Bilbo, eyebrows raised in question. "What do you have in mind?" he murmured.  
Kili stopped kissing Bilbo's back. "Hmm? Were you talking to me?"  
Bilbo ignored Kili's question. "I'm sure something will, ah, _come_ to you," he said to Thorin.

Bilbo turned around in Kili's arms, claiming his mouth ravenously. Subtly, he manipulated them until Kili was on his knees in the middle of the great bed, facing the headboard, his back to Thorin. Bilbo lowered himself to Kili's prick, taking it all in this time, feeling his lover shiver against him. 

Thorin hesitated only a moment. Bilbo had more or less told Thorin it was Kili's turn to experience the joy of two lovers and then presented Kili's backside to him. Though he knew Bilbo did not want him to imprint Kili, the invitation for other delights seemed clear. He closed in against Kili's back, brushing the hair off his nape and pressing his lips to it. 

"Kili," Thorin whispered.  
Kili let his head fall back onto Thorin's shoulder. "Thorin," he replied, voice deep and heavy with lust.  
"I'm going to touch you. If you don't want it, all you have to do is say."  
Kili shook his head. "I want you to."

Kili's eyes widened when Thorin reached over to the oil dish. He heard Thorin's tone change and something in it sent lightning down his spine. 

"Then we shall begin," Thorin said.

Thorin held a steadying arm across Kili's chest, splaying his palm just under Kili's throat. He reached between Kili's buttocks, finding his textured target. He rubbed against it, the heady rush of arousal flowing through him from merely pondering what he was about to do. Kili arched against him encouragingly and Thorin moaned. He pressed and his finger slipped inside Kili with ease.

"Thorin!" Kili shouted, needlessly loud. 

Bilbo looked up with an inquisitive smile and Kili winked back, both of them knowing full well Fili had to have heard him. Oh, that dwarf was impish!

Noted Thorin, "You must let Bilbo fuck you with regularity--that went right in."  
"Yes, I love it when he fucks me. We scarcely go a day without it," Kili breathed.  
Thorin smirked. "Are you trying to wind me up? Play with the last of my jealousy?"  
"I'm only speaking truth."  
"Hmmph," Thorin grumbled.

Bilbo's mouth around Kili felt like sweet bliss in conjunction with Thorin stroking him from the inside out. Kili smiled to himself as Thorin's touch grew more determined--it was exactly the reaction he was looking for, of course. The part of Kili that had to wait in Thorin's shadow for all those weeks got a perverse thrill from saying such things to his former rival, but it turned Kili on to talk aloud in general about the things he did to Bilbo, too. Moreover, he wanted to bait Thorin into unleashing a little of what he had been privately referring to as "Lake Town Thorin" on him--that sensual, sexual beast that held Bilbo in such thrall, even to this very day. He had seen Bilbo pull it from Thorin several times over the past few days, and Kili was nothing if not curious. If he was to be touched by Thorin, he wanted _that_. 

Thorin stretched out once more to the oil dish, returning to Kili's hole with something larger, more blunt. Roughly holding Kili by his throat, he pushed inside him with a fat thumb. Kili keened and shuddered against him. Thorin heard Bilbo moan on the other side, too. 

"As long as we are speaking truth," Thorin growled into Kili's ear, massaging inside him with the wide pad of his thumb. "How many nights in Lake Town did you touch yourself in your cold bed while I unloaded in your darling's throat? Were you weeping into your pillow even as he gagged on my cock? Or rode it? "

Kili gasped for breaths, Thorin stretching him more open with a single thumb than two of Bilbo's fingers. And the control he had with it, the pressure he commanded--there was no doubt Thorin knew what he was doing inside an arse. Additionally, Thorin seemed to have caught on and was playing Kili's mind game nicely, indeed. 

"No, I know what gets you off," Thorin continued. "You want to tell me how I was eating my heart alive in Erebor while you were stuffing Bilbo night after night, don't you? Or while he was stuffing you--maybe in Rivendell, drunk off your arses on that damned wine, coming and coming and coming."

Thorin slid his hand up to Kili's jaw and turned his head, holding him firm while he kissed him, licking against his teeth and sucking his bottom lip. Kili hummed in rapture and Thorin's eyes fluttered open. 

"Mahal, look at you," Thorin said. "Opened so easily, so ready for what's next. Bilbo has made whores of us both, hasn't he? Do you love it as much as I do?"  
Kili whimpered, nodding against Thorin's grip.  
Bilbo paused his ministrations. "You can't talk in such a way or I will be spent before I have a chance."  
Thorin purred, "You wouldn't want to do that, leave this pretty prince open without filling him."  
"Well, if my comely king does not shut his mouth, that is exactly what will happen," sassed Bilbo.  
"Then finish him," Thorin challenged.

Kili listened to this exchange, still partially stunned his trick to bring Thorin out of his sexual shell had worked so well--and Bilbo just sort of _fine_ with it all, with Thorin's thumb buried inside him, rubbing him masterfully.

"Faster, Bilbo," Thorin ordered. "Prying Kili open by the hole like this is making me want to fuck." 

Thorin felt Kili tense in his arms, his whimpers and moans increasing in frequency. Thorin put his hand over Kili's mouth, forcing his head back again. 

Rasping into his ear, he said, "That's right, just like that. Get there, Kili. Let me feel you, I want to help Bilbo make you come."

Kili couldn't hold on, nor did he especially want to. Bilbo's skilled mouth, Thorin's filthy words, and this expert touch strung out his pleasure until it burst. Bilbo grunted, greedily slurping Kili's come. Thorin was at his back, groaning along with him as he pulsed around his thumb. Bilbo released him and Kili slumped against Thorin with his eyes closed, the king's embrace now less demanding. In a flash, a mouth was on his and he could taste himself on Bilbo's tongue. 

"Oh, you aren't finished, dear heart," Bilbo said.  
"I'm not?" Kili asked, feeling spent in a way he rarely did from a first orgasm of a session. 

Thorin nudged Kili forward, moving himself out of Bilbo's way. Bilbo slicked himself, draped his body over Kili's, and pushed inside his husband's prepared hole. Kili cried out.

"Thorin must have given your spot a good work over if you're this sensitive from a stretch," Bilbo said, rolling his hips.  
"Have mercy," Kili whined.  
"Oh, so says Kili the Merciful in Bed?" Bilbo replied. "I don't believe your past deeds have earned you any such mercies."

Kili reached for the pillow and buried his face in it, secretly loving the weight and feel of Bilbo on top of him, grinding out the last hidden spasms, and creating new delicious, torturous shocks of his own. Kili hadn't fully lost his erection from before, and felt himself pleasantly half-hard throughout. 

"Bilbo," Thorin rasped. "I need to be inside you."  
"Prepare me, then. Open me like you did Kili--I want to feel what made him whimper and moan like that."  
Thorin slicked his thumb. "Oh, I believe you've felt it before, many times over."

Feeling Thorin breach him with what could only be his thumb, Bilbo guttered a cry. In fact he _did_ know this particular pleasure, and was a bit impressed Kili lasted as long as he did with Thorin bearing down on his sweet spot in such a way. 

"How about that? You opened more easily than Kili. Perhaps I was wrong about who the whore is in this bed. After all," Thorin ran his tongue down the curve of Bilbo's arse, "You're the one with all the lovers."

Bilbo felt static crackle across his skin when Thorin teased him with such a wicked epithet. He knew Thorin meant no malice, though he knew he'd shamefully be just as aroused if he had. If Thorin said anything about the line of Durin, Bilbo was sure he was going to come right then. 

As Bilbo fucked into Kili, Thorin worked him open using Bilbo's own thrusts. The two of them had Bilbo close sinfully quick. Bilbo felt Thorin lean over him, though he did not put his full weight down. He felt his breath when he spoke.

"But you won't finish this way," Thorin said. "I need you too desperately. I'm only going to do it long enough to spread you for what I want. I'm only doing it until...now."

Thorin pulled away from him fully, slicking himself. Bilbo slowed his pumps into Kili, hoping to hold off his orgasm until his arse was full of Thorin's cock. 

Penetrating Bilbo fully in a mere handful of strokes, Thorin used his strong arms and thighs to slide in and out of Bilbo without squashing Kili beneath them. Kili's moans grew louder as Thorin drove Bilbo's thrusts, but neither of them were as loud as Bilbo as his climax built. Suddenly, with nothing more than a silent scream, Bilbo was quaking and coming hotly inside Kili. Thorin whispered filthy words of encouragement as Bilbo trembled through the last of it. Lifting him off Kili, Thorin rested back on his knees, Bilbo clutched to him back-to-chest. Bilbo mewled as Thorin pumped him harder. 

Kili took a moment to collect himself after Bilbo's over-stimulating fuck, fully hard and a bit light-headed from the excitement so far. He turned around to see Bilbo looking wrecked, his prick still wet with his own spend, and Thorin punishing Bilbo's hole the way Bilbo had punished Kili's moments before. He licked his lips and dove for Bilbo's cock. 

"No, no, no--Eru's sake! Too much! Oh, it is too much!" Bilbo wailed. 

Kili relented, but only for fear of his teeth and Bilbo's skin--Thorin did not bother slowing when Kili joined in. 

Thorin couldn't last at this pace, particularly not with Bilbo clutching at him and mewling with every thrust. Biting into Bilbo's shoulder, Thorin came, jerking Bilbo's whole body up with every twitch of his hips. Slowly, he came back to earth, relaxing onto his heels and easing out of Bilbo. Bilbo fell forward onto the bed and rolled onto his back, expelling a great huff of breath. 

He said, "That was amazing."  
Kili slinked up his body like a predator stalking prey. "Oh, you aren't finished yet, my jewel," he echoed.  
"Oh, no," Bilbo said.  
Kili answered, "Oh, yes."  
Bilbo glanced down and saw Kili's prick glistening with oil. He looked into Kili's eyes helplessly.  
Pushing back Bilbo's thighs, Kili said, "If you are truly done, all you need do is say so."  
Bilbo remained silent; Kili grinned devilishly.  
"Thought so," Kili said. 

Thorin lay beside them, rolled on his side so he could watch. Bilbo gulped air as he was breached. 

"Gods, you feel amazing," Kili moaned. "So slick, slick with your other lover, slick like my little whore."

Bilbo muffled a groan, flushing more pink. Kili studied him, switching his stroke to a slow grind. Bilbo knew by the sparkle in Kili's eye that he had been found out.

"You like that, don't you?" said Kili knowingly.  
Admitted Bilbo, "Yes."  
"Tell me, and leave nothing out," Kili said.  
"A, a f-fantasy."  
"A fantasy of yours?"  
Bilbo covered his face with his hands and nodded. Kili shooed Bilbo's hands away.  
"No hiding," Kili declared.

Kili was inside him, Thorin next to him, and Bilbo was _embarrassed_ to admit to his secret thoughts--and even the embarrassment electrified him! The situation was so scandalous and titillating, his spent cock twitched.

"I have this fantasy that I'm--Merciful Eru, I can't say it out loud!"  
Kili suggested, "Whisper it in my ear, then. That's what Fee and I have always done when we're embarrassed." 

Still inside Bilbo, Kili pressed against him as Bilbo widened his legs, allowing Kili to lower his ear by Bilbo's mouth. Thorin leaned in to hear the whispers, too, and both the dwarves got an earful of Bilbo's private fantasy. 

"When did this start?" Kili asked.  
Replied Bilbo, "It really took root my first afternoon sharing a bed with you and Thorin. These past few days it has only gotten stronger, as you might imagine."  
"Does it heighten your pleasure?" Thorin asked.  
Bilbo nodded.  
"Well then," Kili said, "I'm sure we can find a way to add that into our play in a way that is beneficial to all of us. The confession alone has me on the verge of coming in your used, dripping hole."

Kili renewed his stroke. Thorin, libido also affected by Bilbo's confession, moved to the middle of the bed, captivated by Kili's arse bobbing up and down. Silently asking his ancestors to forgive him, he spread Kili open and licked at his entrance. Tasting Bilbo's release, Thorin held tighter and licked again, this time using his lips and suction while he lapped.

"Oh!" Kili cried. "Oh _fuck_!"  
Bilbo could see Thorin's legs, but not much else. Bilbo didn't have to guess what was affecting Kili so deeply for very long.  
"Bee, he's licking me, he's sucking--Mahal--he's sucking your come out of my arse!" 

The thought of Thorin doing something so divinely obscene (and doing it to Kili) had Bilbo nearly erect again. Kili's speed increased threefold as Thorin's face came into Bilbo's peripheral view. Rearing back and clutching Bilbo's legs for better leverage, Kili shouted out a warning that he was about to come. At the same time, Thorin thumbed open Bilbo's bottom lip. As Kili came in Bilbo's body, Thorin licked some of Bilbo's own release back onto his tongue. 

When his aftershocks died down, Kili collapsed on the bed, Bilbo rolled over onto his stomach with a satisfied groan, and Thorin pressed against his side.

"We are all depraved," Bilbo said, wiping his mouth of oil that had transferred from Thorin's lips--and Kili's arse. "We are depraved and it is _glorious_."  
"Being with you two--it is like a never-ending seam to mine," Thorin said in awe.  
Bilbo replied, "It is the same for us you know. Sharing our bed with you has certainly introduced us to new ecstasies."  
"And you know how much we love our sex," Kili said.  
Thorin shrugged. "What's not to like?"  
Bilbo and Kili giggled.  
"Exactly," Kili said.

*****

The moans started soon after Bilbo, Kili, and Thorin retired to Bilbo's room, reaching Bofur and Fili's ears in the kitchen.

"Oi, did they bother to undress first?" Bofur asked.  
Fili popped his last prepared loaf into the oven. "You know we can get the important parts uncovered in no time at all."  
"True enough."  
Fili gazed at Bofur affectionately. "Bo, I'm proud of you for tonight."  
"Whatever for?"  
"For being polite instead of upset, being cordial instead of pouting, and not making a fuss when Bilbo hinted around they were ready to go to bed. It was all over his face that he felt guilty about leaving us out here."  
"Aye, and it made it easier to let him go, if you can believe it. That he feels a responsibility or a pull to us--to me--that's something Thorin has had that I've felt was lacking. To see such a thing so clearly in Bilbo's expression tonight...well, I would've made the bed for them, it thrilled me so."  
"Oh you would not have!" Fili countered.  
"Fine, so I wouldn't have gone that far, but it soothed a hurt that had been left raw for too long."  
"You know..." Fili said, trailing off.  
"What?"  
Fili met Bofur's eyes. "I think if Bilbo could work his will, there would be five people in that bed tonight."  
Bofur scoffed, "Right. Can you even picture it? Me and Thorin at a table is one thing, but don't let one pleasant dinner mess up your mind, Fee."  
"I'm not saying the two of you want it, I'm saying that I'm not sure _Bilbo_ delineates the way we do. To him, it is the four of us versus the three of them only because you and Thorin make it that way." 

Kili's voice echoed down the hall. _"Thorin!"_

A cloud fell over Fili's expression.

"How's that again? Me and Thorin are the only things splitting these two bed groups?" Bofur prodded teasingly.  
"Shut up."  
"You're turning a little red there. Feeling a little jealousy of your own?"  
Fili crossed his arms. "So what if I am?"  
Bofur held his hands up. "So nothing. I know the feeling, trust."

Fili stood, gathering supplies to make more loaves of bread. He felt Bofur press against him, slipping his arms around his middle. 

"Don't start anymore of those, Fee," Bofur said tenderly, nuzzling his ear.  
"Why not?"  
"Because six is enough for a gesture of good will and I would much rather take you to bed than wait for three more dough bowls to twice rise and bake."  
Fili turned around and kissed him. "I think I can agree to that."

Fili sat back down, waiting for the final loaves to finish in the oven. He thought about Bofur's tease of the split groups being Fili's preference, too. Part of him thought Bofur might be wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you!


	60. Sign Your Name Across My Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We pick up this chapter immediately following Bilbo, Kili, and Thorin having sex in the last chapter.

Thorin traced his fingertips over Bilbo's back. 

"By the Maker, you are breathtaking," Thorin said, pressing a kiss to his shoulder.  
Bilbo hummed in bliss.  
"The most gorgeous courtesan in Middle Earth," Thorin added.  
"Thor- _in_!"  
"Just trying on your fantasy to see how it fits."  
Thorin scooted down, caressing Bilbo's bottom. "I can see it now, right here: A 'Property Of The House Of Durin' tattoo, on the swell of the right buttock so I can see it when I've got you bent over."  
Bilbo groaned in arousal.  
"Hm, really? You like that?" Kili asked.  
Bilbo answered, "Not to do actually, of course, but the _thought_ of it--gods, I'm embarrassed and hard all at once!"

Kili jumped off the bed and went to the door, not bothering to grab so much as a dressing gown. 

"Where are you going?" Bilbo asked.  
Kili replied, "Just a moment," and disappeared through the door.

Bilbo buried face in his hands. "You two are going to torture me with whore-talk now, aren't you?"  
"I'd hardly call it torture if it arouses you," Thorin said. "Outside of the bedroom, I would never name you such, but if it makes you hard, in bed I'll call you anything you like."

*****

Kili managed to steal down the hall and back, undetected.

"What do you have?" Thorin asked.  
Kili answered, "A quill and ink."  
"What?" Bilbo said, straining to look over his shoulder.

Kili bade Thorin hold the ink bottle over Bilbo's skin, lest they be scolded for ink on the towels. Very carefully, he started to write on the swell of Bilbo's bottom. 

"That tickles!" Bilbo protested.  
Kili fussed, "Stay _still_."

Bilbo felt the cool ink and slight scratch of the nib across his skin, fighting the urge to wiggle. 

"There! 'Property Of The House Of Durin,' right on your backside," Kili said proudly. 

Bilbo felt a peculiar coolness. "What are you doing now?"  
"Blowing the ink dry!"

Once Kili deemed it satisfactorily dry, Bilbo rose to his knees, trying to get a look behind him. "I can't really see--hey!"

Thorin had taken the quill and was trying to write over one of Bilbo's nipples. "Stop squirming! You stayed still enough for Kili," he complained.

Bilbo sighed, though he was nowhere near as put upon as he pretended. Thorin inked his name over the one of Bilbo's piercings he had claimed for his own. Kili took another turn, writing his name over Bilbo's navel ring. 

"Hm, there's something missing," Kili said.  
"Oh there is, is there?" Bilbo asked with amusement.  
Kili urged him down again on his hands and knees, putting his name at the top of Bilbo's crevice, at the very base of his back. "I'm claiming your arsehole."  
Thorin took back the quill, adding his name. "I am as well."

Bilbo giggled at the absurdity of it. "Alright, then. If I am to be tattooed, so are you. Let's see...well first, I'm claiming your arseholes, too."

The three of them laughed until tears fell and tried their best not to spill any ink. By the time they were done, Bilbo had written his name at the base of both their backs, on their hips to claim their cocks ("You're too hairy above it and I don't fancy any ink in my arse, thank you."), and Thorin had requested Bilbo's name on his left breast, hair issues aside, reasoning that Bilbo owned his heart above all else. Kili shared the sentiment but chose not to copy him. 

"We look absurd!" Bilbo laughed.  
"Oh, I don't know," Thorin replied. "I think I'd rather like you in a tattoo!"  
Bilbo wagged his finger at him. "Oh, no you don't. I've already got dwarvish piercings, and that's three more than I had planned to start! I'm still a hobbit, dammit!"  
Kili licked Bilbo's neck. "Mm, yes, and a fiery one at that. How about we put that passion to better uses?"  
Thorin joined them, pressing against Bilbo's back. "What is your desire, my love?"

Bilbo had known how he wanted this evening to end before he had taken off a stitch. 

"If I am to be your whore, I wished to be fucked. _Fully_ fucked."  
"I think we can manage that," Kili flirted.  
"I don't think you are understanding me. I want you both inside me at once," Bilbo purred. 

Thorin moved so he could look into Bilbo's eyes. He wasn't sure if the two of them sharing Bilbo simultaneously could have been a contribution to pushing Bilbo to despair last time or not, what with Kili and Thorin touching so intimately in the process. 

"Are you sure? Last time..."  
"I'm very sure. I want you two inside me, making me come, making _each other_ come, filling me--I'm already dripping thinking of it. Use me, claim me the way only the two of you can," Bilbo said.

After a short discussion, it was decided that Thorin should lay on his back with Bilbo straddling him, stomach to stomach. Though Bilbo was still loosened enough to take Thorin without much discomfort, Kili took care to slick him liberally for what was about to transpire. Bilbo kissed Thorin while he was pleasured with Kili's efforts, grinding his erection against the one under him. Thorin moaned into Bilbo's mouth, canting his hips for more friction. Bilbo felt Kili tap on his hip and he shifted. 

A slick hand stroked Thorin's cock and he groaned--it had to be Kili who touched him so. Immediately following, he felt a second, odd grip, realizing Kili was holding him still and firm so Bilbo could line himself up. He was about to tell Kili how deliciously dirty he was when Bilbo slid down the whole of his length, temporarily clearing his mind and forcing his breath out in a huff. Bilbo paused only a few moments before beginning his undulations.

Bilbo straddled Thorin, riding him slowly. He drank in the vision of Thorin's face painted in rapture: eyes closed, mouth open, lips wet. Thorin's hair spilled out over the pillow all around him and Bilbo saw his bead in the middle of it all, restored to its proper place at the end of one of Thorin's plaits. Thorin whispered Bilbo's name and reached out for him. Bilbo moved forward, pressing against him in spite of the discomfort to his piercings, and held on tightly. A strong hand cupped his head, urging him upward. Bilbo strained to kiss Thorin as he moved. 

Kili gave Bilbo and Thorin time to get into the act, appreciating the beauty of them together. Watching them, he wondered how he ever managed to distract Bilbo's attention from Thorin, much less how he kept it long enough to court, make love to, and marry him. Bilbo and Thorin were obviously besotted--and well matched in bed, besides. Bilbo always did used to say bed had never been their problem. Kili thanked The Maker and Yavanna for whatever spark he carried that had captivated Bilbo on his behalf. 

Thorin kissed Bilbo, flexing in rhythm with his movements and running his hands over all of the skin he could reach. Bilbo shivered and pulled back from the kiss, blinking and panting. Soon, a tightness and a slick touch against his cock told Thorin that Kili had started the next part of Bilbo's preparation. He pushed his head into the pillow, exhaling. Last time, he had been too conflicted to fully enjoy the pleasure of feeling Kili against him for this intimacy. He wouldn't make that mistake again. 

With Kili stretching him and Thorin inside him, Bilbo felt a tremor go through his very blood, his chest tightening in anticipation. Thorin bared his lovely neck and Bilbo took the opportunity to lick, bite, and mark it. Thorin purred underneath him, sighing, "Yours." 

Kili was up to a third digit inside Bilbo along with Thorin's cock. Bilbo's breaths came harder and a fine sheen of sweat glistened on his back. Kili had deliberately taken his time, hoping to circumvent as much discomfort as he could. He was hard and leaking arousal--listening to Bilbo's and Thorin's moans and murmurs of encouragement--and could not wait much longer to fulfill his role in this endeavor. 

"Bee?" Kili whispered. "Now?"  
"Please," Bilbo answered. 

Kili dripped a little more oil over Bilbo's entrance and slicked himself considerably. Pushing Thorin's legs together so he could straddle them, Kili positioned himself behind Bilbo and pressed. He rubbed Bilbo's back, rocking in and out, both Bilbo and Thorin responding beautifully until Kili had completely penetrated Bilbo.

"Fuck," choked Bilbo.  
Thorin looked at him with concern. "Are you okay?"  
Bilbo licked his lips and nodded. "I think one of you can move, now."  
"But just one, yes? Like last time?" Thorin asked.  
"I think so," Bilbo replied.  
Thorin glanced at Kili. "You first."

Kili drew back and slid in again, delighting in the tightness of Bilbo around him and the soft, slick skin of Thorin's very hard erection against his. Glancing in front of him, Kili could see Thorin clutching Bilbo's head while they kissed, sharing each other's moans. Kili maintained a slow pace, keening loudly. 

"This is just too good," he breathed. 

Kili noticed Bilbo was not vocalizing as much enjoyment as himself or Thorin either one, and he quickly figured out why. Kili was on the wrong side, as it were. 

"Thorin, your angle puts you in a position to give him far more pleasure. I think perhaps you should move," Kili suggested. 

The full shudder that went through Bilbo in Thorin's early strokes told Kili he had been right. He pulled Bilbo up against him, kissing his neck and whispering filth into his ear. 

Bilbo had already felt dizzy with emotion with both his bondmates inside him. With Thorin moving, grazing his sensitive spot, it only intensified. He craned his head back, trying to get a proper kiss from Kili. He kissed him until his neck ached, falling forward on Thorin once again. Kili pressed against him, within him, and Bilbo felt _consumed_. Tears welled up and Bilbo didn't bother to hide them, choosing instead to let himself go with the experience. 

"I've never been so in love in my entire life," he panted. "So much, I love you both so much."

Thorin stroked Bilbo's hair, the tenderness in contrast to how wickedly he and Kili were stretching and using Bilbo's arse. They all held on, rocking against each other with the power of Thorin's hips and thighs.

"You two feel so incredible, I don't know which one of you is going to make me come harder," Thorin breathed.  
Bilbo lifted himself on his arms, looking down at Thorin with glassy eyes. "I think--I think you should come soon," he croaked.  
The sound of Bilbo's voice concerned Kili. "Do you need to stop?"  
Bilbo's waves bounced against his head as he shook it. "No, but we should get there soon. I'm a bit, ah, _overwhelmed_."

Thorin did not need to be asked more than once. He increased his pace, gnashing his teeth and growling through them as the ecstasy built. Kili reached around, but couldn't get a good hold of Bilbo's cock and keep himself from falling at once. 

"Thorin, get him off," Kili said. 

Kili kissed Bilbo's spine, holding onto him while Thorin rubbed against the sensitive underside of his cock. It was too much to hold back, but he tried his best. He didn't want to go until Bilbo did. He chanted Bilbo's name in a hoarse whisper.

Between Thorin and Kili splitting him wide, it did not take Thorin many strokes of Bilbo's cock to bring him off. The dizziness, the thrill, the perversity, the love--it turned from a frothing bubble to a geyser, erupting from seemingly a dozen directions at once. Distantly, he felt himself finishing around Thorin's hand, but Bilbo was lost, floating, hardly able to notice what was happening outside his body when an entire universe was exploding forth from his core.

Kili and Thorin both felt Bilbo's orgasm, each one not realizing the other one had used every drop of their restraint to wait for it.

"Thorin, that feels so--oh fuck!" Kili cried.  
Thorin shouted, "You're going to make me come, I'm going to-"  
"I'm going to come all over your cock," Kili growled.  
"Gods, yes, come on me!"

They both finished simultaneously, sending a bolt of lightning through an already-vanquished Bilbo. The bonds renewed under his skin, even as he was still feeling the last straggling spasms of his climax. It was transcendent. 

Kili gasped through the end of his orgasm, choking out both Bilbo's and Thorin's names. He heard Thorin call his, too, just before Thorin seized Bilbo's head and kissed him. 

The two of them carefully helped Bilbo up and off of them. Bilbo flopped forward on the bed and Kili followed after him, spreading him open to admire what they had done to him. 

"Mahal, he is positively gaping," Kili said, dipping down to take a lick. "You should have a taste while we're still warm."  
"I think I will," Thorin said, nudging in between Kili's legs and sucking him into his mouth, cleaning Kili's cock clean of their mutual release with one suck.  
"Thorin!" Kili gasped.  
Thorin rolled Bilbo over, licking into his mouth. "That's a taste directly from your beloved's prick."

Bilbo barely kissed back, or registered that Thorin and Kili were still playing with him. His head lolled on the pillow in Thorin's direction, his eyes bleary and unable to focus. They had always used words like "shattered" or "taken apart" when talking about sex and as true as it had seemed before, it had never felt more literal. He felt scattered in a million glowing pieces, all swirling throughout his body, forcing his blood and illuminating the passages through which it flowed. Bliss. This was bliss.

Thorin frowned and Kili grew concerned. Bilbo wasn't looking at Thorin as much as he was looking past him. He heard Thorin call Bilbo's name. 

"What's wrong?" Kili asked.  
"I don't know!"  
"Nuthin' wrong," Bilbo slurred. "Bonds. B'tiful bonds."  
"Durin's beard, I think we actually did break him," Thorin said.  
Kili crawled up and cupped Bilbo's jaw. "Bee, jewel, look at me."  
Bilbo blinked up at him. "Kee," he said weakly, but grinning widely.  
Kili smiled back. "Yes, Kee. Are you okay?"  
Bilbo nodded, closing his eyes again. "Better than."  
Kili shook his head fondly.  
Bilbo's eyes fluttered open, this time focusing on Thorin. "Love you."  
"I love you, too," Thorin said.  
"You," Bilbo said to Kili. "Love you."  
"You know I adore you," Kili said. 

Bilbo took a deep breath, closing his eyes again. He wanted to hang onto this feeling as long as possible. 

"Let's get you cleaned up," Kili said to Thorin.  
"But Bilbo?"  
"He needs a few moments, I think. He's fine...just a little love-drunk."

*****

Fili and Bofur took care of the final loaves of baked bread and shut down Bag End for the night. Pondering any number of early morning visitors possibly helping themselves to Bilbo's last few sacred hours of privacy with Thorin, Fili locked the main door.

There was a ribbon of light on the floor of the hallway that didn't come from Fili's candle. Fili thought there should be no light at all...if the master bedroom door was closed. Drawing closer, the door was not open (a clear invitation), but it was not shut, either. Fili wondered how intentional it was. He remembered Bilbo's guilty face--perhaps this was his concession? That they could watch? It didn't seem likely, though, as Bofur might feel less aroused and more upset by Thorin's part in this particular romp. Bofur tapped his shoulder, having noticed the door and gesturing toward it with a question on his face. Fili shrugged. Bofur held out his hand for the candle. Fili handed it off and Bofur disappeared down the hall. A half-moment before Fili decided to follow him, Bofur came back. 

"Too much light," Bofur whispered directly into Fili's ear, attempting to be as quiet as possible. 

Fili's decision was made. If Bofur was interested in watching, he would, too. The crack in the door wasn't very wide--certainly not wide enough to give them up in a dark hallway if eyes turned their direction--but the sliver it afforded them gave them a view of three bodies on the bed, nearly stacked together. Bilbo was in the middle, much like he was that fateful day, and Thorin and Kili were fucking him at once. 

Bofur watched the scene in progress before him. It wasn't as shocking as it was the last time he witnessed them like this, and he had the assurances of Bilbo's kisses and love, but Bilbo and Thorin kissing so pornographically while Bilbo straddled him, getting filled, getting _fucked_ \--the jealousy was still there, and something else besides. He wondered what it would feel like to be Thorin, fucking Bilbo wide with Kili, making him squeak and squeal in shuddering delight. He pondered, too, what it would be like to be in Bilbo's position. He imagined for a moment that it was him in the middle, Fili under him and Bilbo behind him, Bofur stretched and begging. 

Fili tensed, thinking he heard Kili call Thorin's name. He wondered again what Thorin had done earlier to make Kili shout. Another name caught his attention, this time Thorin saying "Kili." Oh, he didn't like that at all. By rights, if Kili was breaking incest taboos, it should be with _him_. It was the two of them who were inseparable, always there for each other, possessing each other's deepest secrets, sharing decades of whispering hopes and dreams in the dark. Kili was closer to none but Fili, save for his Chosen, and if he was going to share himself like this-

An exchange broke Fili's inner monologue.

_"Thorin, that feels so--oh fuck!"_  
 _"You're going to make me come, I'm going to-"_  
 _"I'm going to come all over your cock."_  
 _"Gods, yes, come on me!"_

Fili felt as though he had taken a blow to the stomach. He breathed deeply and exhaled, trying to control his jealousy, reminding himself this was also part of the agreement. Oh, but it was hateful, listening to Kili come and knowing part of that was Thorin's doing. He turned and went to his room, Bofur right behind him, making sure they closed their door. 

Fili paced back and forth a few times before stopping and taking a breath. He looked at Bofur, immediately softening inside. Why did he let himself get so upset--about his _brother_ , no less--when he had found someone so special?

Fili's expression was sheepish. "I suppose it is silly to be jealous of this."  
Bofur rolled his lips in and nodded. "Quite right," he agreed.  
"We've got each other," Fili stated.  
"Wouldn't trade it for anything in this world."  
"Not at all."  
"Right," Bofur affirmed.

They gazed at each other for a moment.

"Gods, Bo, they're killing me. I'm about to go out of my mind."  
"Me too."

Bofur tackled Fili onto the bed, pulling at his clothes while claiming his mouth with ravenous kisses.

Fili gasped, "Need you."  
"Please!"  
"Inside me," Fili pleaded.

Bofur efficiently slicked Fili's hole; his lover squirmed impatiently. While he oiled himself, Fili flipped over on his hands and knees. 

"Hard. I need it as hard as you can give me," Fili demanded.  
Bofur smiled wickedly. "Aye, I'm here to please."

Bofur hammered into Fili fast, the slapping of their flesh cracking through the silence and making his skin sting. 

Fili moaned, "Harder, faster, oh gods, fuck me!"

Fili gripped the end of the mattress so Bofur's thrusts would land more steady and sure. They shook the bed, and Fili was sure--had Bag End not been partially underground--they would have shaken the walls, too. Bofur had moved to stroke him but Fili batted away his hand. Bofur couldn't fuck him as hard if he had one hand compromised. With the brutal pace and the luscious angle, Fili knew Bofur was about to pound it out of him, anyway. It was merely a question of who could get there first, and Fili's crest was building. 

Fili let out a graveled, sputtering sound, fluttering around Bofur's cock as he came. Bofur groaned in relief, letting himself tip past his limit close after. Fili was still sucking in air, tearlessly sobbing, when Bofur came--filling him, hips stuttering and hands shaking. They collapsed together, unconcerned about the mess Fili made on the blanket. 

"That was just what I needed," Fili sighed. "You are a wonder."  
"It certainly serves to alleviate aggression," Bofur joked.  
"And clear the mind."  
"Though next time, I think I'd like to give your body a proper adoration," Bofur said, nuzzling Fili's neck.  
"Or I'll give you one. I do love it when we are tender, but can you blame me for wanting to be ruined by you from time to time when you are so sublime at it?"  
"Not when you put it that way," Bofur said. "I'm actually a little embarrassed now to be jealous of what I can't have when I've just experienced what I _do_ have."  
Bofur eased out of Fili, gently rolling him on his back. He stroked Fili's face.  
"I am crazy about you, Fee."  
Fili tugged him down for a kiss. "I'm crazy about you, too."

They held each other for a long time, not bothering with cleaning up or getting under the covers because it would interrupt their closeness.

****

Bilbo, Thorin, and Kili lay side by side in bed, covers drawn and candles extinguished. Bilbo hadn't spoken much since they had sex, though he had been happy and peaceful.

"I've been thinking, Kee," Bilbo said. "That dream we had after the wine, with Thorin at the door?"  
"He speaks!" Thorin teased.  
Bilbo smiled in the dark. "Sorry about that, um, episode of mine. What I felt, what you did--what you both did--it affected me beautifully, profoundly. I was only half-here for a moment or several afterwards. I've scarcely known anything like it."  
Thorin felt a warmth within from Bilbo's sentiment, but had no words of his own with which to respond.  
Kili reached over for Bilbo's hand and squeezed it. "I knew something lovely had happened, even if we were a bit worried at first."  
"Yeah. I didn't mean to worry you, though," Bilbo said.  
"So, sorry, you were saying?" Thorin said.  
"Oh, that dream we had with the wine, Kee?"  
"Yes?"  
Answered Bilbo, "Perhaps this is what it meant, that Thorin was supposed to be part of things all along."  
Kili contemplated this. "All things considered, that seems rather possible."  
"Wait, what is this? What dream?" Thorin asked.  
"The special wine Daerbes makes, both times we've had it, we've shared a sensual dream afterwards. Our second bottle--the one from our wedding night--had you knocking at our door before we woke."  
Thorin glanced back and forth between them in the scarce moonlight, recalling Bilbo telling him about encountering the Valar as well. "It would seem the two of you are charmed, somehow. I had no idea you were so magical."  
"Don't make fun," Bilbo pouted.  
Thorin held his hands up. "No! I'm being sincere. Visions, blessings, shared dreams, possibly dreams that are prophetic--I did not know your bond, your union was so powerful. Had I known, perhaps I would not have pursued you so blindly for so long."  
Bilbo smiled. "I'm glad you did not know, then, for I would have missed my second chance to share my love with you."

*****

Cleaned up and cuddled in bed, Bofur had already started breathing deeply. Fili was still awake, his rational mind warring with his emotional side.

Fili knew Bofur had a good point. It was fruitless to obsess over Thorin and Kili when he had Bofur (and Bilbo and Kili when Thorin wasn't around). He hated Thorin touching Kili, of course, but it wasn't the same as pining--it wasn't like what he did for Bofur before they got together. Besides, he had Kili naked and in bed a couple days ago and did little more than kiss him. In fact, he lavished Bilbo with far more attention. The truth of the matter was that he didn't want Thorin doing these things to Kili before he did, but he also wasn't willing to do them first. He wasn't willing to break that barrier, to push Kili into these forbidden areas, though he was incredibly willing to re-claim them for himself afterward. So whom was really to blame? Kili was obviously very carnal and ready to explore and share his bed. If Fili wouldn't touch him and Thorin would, then what right did Fili have to be mad? He didn't know, but he was already making mental plans of showing Kili where his loyalties should lie.

*****

"I have most everything in order for my departure tomorrow," Thorin said, "But there's one last thing I think I must address before I leave you for the winter."  
"What's that?" Bilbo asked.  
"Just so I'm not in for additional surprises in the Spring, I beg you, please be candid with me, Bilbo."  
"For goodness' sake, Thorin! Ask me, please."  
Thorin swallowed hard. "Are there any plans to bond with Bofur?"  
Bilbo blinked in surprise. "Well, things are new between us, at least in this respect."  
"New for you, perhaps, but far from new for him," Thorin reasoned.  
Bilbo shrugged. "I don't know what our future holds. Obviously, Bo and myself would have to want that deeply at the very, very least, and we've only just begun whatever this is. Is it even considered courting, doing what we're doing?"  
"I don't know, Bee," Kili replied.  
"It doesn't matter what you call it," Thorin said. "My point is, I'll be apart from you for the winter, and I'm doubtful you would have the patience to send a letter and wait for the response if the blood grew so hot between you as to crave a bond. I can't take anymore surprises like this, my love. New lovers, new bonds--these are all things you had discussed with Kili in the preceding weeks, yes?"  
"Over and over again," Kili confirmed.  
Thorin said, "I'm your husband now, too. Don't I deserve the same consideration as Kili does? Wouldn't we also need some manner of discussion before you add to the bed--and to the blood?"  
"Of course you do, Thorin," Bilbo replied. "You deserve all the same consideration and conversation, especially in matters of my body and my bed."  
"Well, then? I won't be here to discuss it later, so let's have the conversation now," Thorin said.  
Kili rolled over. "So much for a lovely night."  
"Quiet, dear heart," Bilbo said. "How can I discuss something this unsure and heretofore hypothetical with the gravity it deserves?"  
"With present honesty," Thorin replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you dears! Clock is ticking--I've got three days to end this and start the next part before BOTFA hits US theaters (and sucks out my soul).


	61. I Would Like To Save You For A Rainy Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Our first night, that night in Lake Town," Thorin panted, "I meant every word, every breath, every sigh--I meant all of it and I mean it still."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If a partner waking up another partner with sex is one of your squicks, then consider the beginning of this chapter Dub-con.

_Thorin was on his throne, naked, with Bilbo bouncing on his cock and facing outward. They were not alone. The hall was full to almost bursting of dwarves, hobbits, elves, men, visiting dignitaries--everyone who would have been present at a royal wedding and then some, all watching the king have his consort. Thorin picked Bilbo up, still inside him, and set him on the floor in order to ravage him more completely. A second Bilbo appeared behind Thorin, pushed inside, and commenced fucking him. The crowd watching gasped loudly, murmuring among themselves. There were a few whoops and whistles, but the majority of the whisperers were shocked. A third Bilbo appeared, standing with his foot on either side of the original Bilbo's back. He pulled Thorin down by the hair, making him suck his cock. A fourth and final Bilbo appeared, walking behind Thorin. A lurch and a moan in his ear told him this final Bilbo was fucking the one that had been fucking him. By now, the general din of the guests had turned to disapproval. Thorin was confused and concerned, but it felt _too good_ \--he couldn't bring himself to stop. Bilbo Number Two behind him nibbled at his neck._

Thorin woke himself with a groan of delight, but found the pleasurable sensations had not slowed. Teeth were still scraping against his flesh, something was still inside him, and he felt a slow, languorous build of an orgasm. It was the deep of night, and it took Thorin's eyes a moment to adjust to wakefulness and the trace of moonlight in the dark.

Kili was in front of him, pumping him with an oiled hand. He grinned when Thorin focused on him, leaning in to take a kiss. Bilbo hummed into his shoulder, and Thorin recognized the feeling inside him as Bilbo's fingers, rubbing his tender skin sensuously. His mind raced to make sense of this--had they woken before him? Had Bilbo planned this as he had planned their ambush of Kili?

"What's this?" Thorin asked, his voice hoarse from sleep.  
"Something special for the king," Bilbo replied.  
Thorin turned his head, trying to look at him. "You touched me in my sleep?"  
Bilbo said, "We wanted to wake you pleasurably. Are you not pleased?"  
"I am, I am! It is just a bit, um, odd to wake up being penetrated," Thorin said.  
Bilbo asked, "Should I stop?"  
"Please don't," replied Thorin.  
"Then relax, and let us take care of you," Bilbo said.

Thorin stayed on his side, closing his eyes and letting himself relish the sensations. Kili was stroking him both slow and fast, using his full length as well as teasing around the crown. Thorin groaned; Kili was very, very good with his hands. Bilbo adjusted Thorin's leg, prodding at him with his cock until he found his target. Thorin sucked in a breath as Bilbo nudged into him. As Bilbo rolled in and out, his lips and tongue moved across Thorin's back. His hand reached around and teased a nipple. Kili's tongue slipped past Thorin's lips and he used his free hand to stroke Thorin's thigh and caress his stones. Still drowsy, Thorin lay there, lazily returning kisses and letting Bilbo and Kili please him. _"So this is what it is like,"_ he mused. _"Two lovers leaves very little to neglect, it seems."_ Truly, he felt as though he were being worshiped. He wondered if Bilbo felt so adored when he was the center of their attention. He hoped so.

Thorin felt Bilbo grow closer to his release while his own coiled in his abdomen. He opened his eyes to find Kili focused over his shoulder, having a wordless discussion with Bilbo. Kili granted a small nod and the hand on Thorin developed a clear purpose. Thorin's own hand shot out, gripping Kili at the hip. Fully awake now, Thorin went from soft moans and panting to keening and gasping, grunting out snatches of devotions in Khuzdul. Kili scooted down, his face level with Thorin's navel. Thorin thought Kili meant to suck him and the notion pushed him over the edge.

Kili opened his mouth just in time for Thorin to come on his tongue. He chased it without pulling any of Thorin's flesh into his mouth, missing only a few drops. Though Thorin was gorgeous and arousing, Kili--for all his open-minded ideas about sharing lovers and their fluids--didn't want Thorin's cock in his mouth any more than he wanted it in his arse. He had tried to explain it to Bilbo before, this aversion to sucking pricks that were not Bilbo's, but the queer notion was something he couldn't quite put into words. He hoped by the time they met with Thorin again, he would have either gotten past the aversion or found a way to verbalize it. For the time being, Thorin didn't seem to be complaining.

Thorin tugged Kili upward and plunged his tongue in his mouth, searching for traces of his own spend. He swayed against Kili as Bilbo raced toward his own finish. With a drawn out groan, Thorin felt the warm pulses of Bilbo's climax fill him. Kili ended the kiss, resting his head on the pillow. Thorin glanced down at Kili's prick for the first time, noticing Kili was only somewhat erect. Well, that wasn't very flattering.

"What about you?" Thorin asked.  
"Bilbo took care of me when I first woke."  
"I slept through that?"  
Kili answered, "Well, I tried to be quiet."

Thorin laughed and Bilbo felt it in his cock, still inside him. He shifted to give Bilbo a chance to move but Bilbo stilled him.

"I want to sleep like this--at least, as long as we're able," Bilbo said.

Thorin closed his eyes and grinned, though Bilbo couldn't see it. They hadn't slept with one inside the other since Lake Town. The warm feeling he had been feeling repeatedly all night returned once again.

"Yes, please," Thorin said.

Kili settled back in for sleep, helping Bilbo tug the covers up and over the three of them. Thorin reached behind and patted Bilbo's hip, feeling a kiss on his shoulder blade in return.

Drifting off, Thorin wondered if what had just happened had been a dream as well.

*****

"Why are you awake?" Fili mumbled.  
Bofur said, "A sound woke me up."  
"Why am _I_ awake?"  
"Beats me. I've been as still as the dead so as not to disturb you," Bofur replied.  
"Mmphf. It is still pitch dark."  
"Quite right," Bofur agreed. "Go back to sleep, gorgeous."

Fili snuggled into Bofur's side, laying his head on his chest. They were silent for a while.

Fili murmured, "I can't sleep."  
"Then we'll talk a bit until you feel like you can. What do you think it will be like tomorrow?" Bofur asked.  
Fili fiddled with the hair around Bofur's navel. "If the past is anything to go by, I would say heart-wrenching and full of tears."  
"I might shed a few myself. I've gotten used to the Shire being a little elvishly dwarven, not to mention how much I like having Beorn around."  
"Yeah," Fili said, sounding wistful.  
"Are you lads going to have a hard time saying bye to your Mam?"  
"We always do, you know, but I think it will be easier on her this time than it has in the past."  
"How is that?"  
"Well," Fili said, "She's got an adventure of her own to go on, going to Erebor for the first time, seeing the stories of her childhood suddenly come true. She also holds office, and I'm sure Balin will have her ear at the first opportunity. Dwalin will be with her, too, and that is a new romance. She'll hardly remember to miss us."  
"Now, don't say that!"  
"It is true, but I don't mind. It will be much easier on Kee and me knowing she isn't home somewhere, wringing her hands and all alone. It carries its own comfort, knowing she gets to go out and live a little life for herself."  
Bofur kissed Fili's head. "You're a good lad, Fee."

*****

Thorin woke first, he guessed after sunrise but well ahead of breakfast. Thinking more clearly and by the light of day, he knew without question that what Bilbo and Kili did to him last night was no dream. Bilbo was molded to the shape of his body and holding him protectively, though biology had long since separated their most intimate connection. Thorin lay there, breathing in the scents of Bilbo, Bag End, and lingering wisps of last night's debauchery. Glancing at Kili, he almost laughed out loud. Kili was on his back with one arm flung half over his face, Kili's nose caught on his forearm and pulled up like a pig's snout. His mouth was open, he was snoring, and there was a touch of drool slipping out one side. Thorin could also hear Bilbo more softly behind him, drawing steady breaths and snuffling occasionally. He would miss this when he left--he was not looking forward to Bilbo-less and Kili-less nights in his own bed.

He stayed still as long as he was able, but the pressure in his bladder made a visit to the water closet unavoidable. He tried to move carefully, but sleeping Bilbo and Kili were unrelenting. He felt a pang of sympathy for Bilbo's issues the previous morning. Regrettably, Thorin had to wake Bilbo the most in order to get out of his embrace. Thorin shushed him, encouraging him back to sleep.

On his way back to the bedroom, Thorin calculated the last drops of precious time he had left. The plan had been to gather at Bag End around 10 for a final head count and farewells. No one was planning breakfast at Bag End besides him and its residents, and if they lingered a bit, well...no one was going to leave until Thorin made his final pronouncements, besides.

Thorin was surprised to find Kili and Bilbo both up, Kili dressing and Bilbo dashing into the hall (completely naked--Thorin had his dressing gown) to take his turn at making water.

"It was not my plan to get you both up so early," Thorin explained. "I was planning on going back to bed."  
"So you should," Kili replied.  
Thorin made a face. "Well, yes, but it is not quite as comforting when it is empty."

Kili shrugged and continued dressing, not speaking until Bilbo returned. Bilbo promptly got under the covers again.

"I'm going to give you two some time alone," Kili explained. "When you're ready to get up, let me know and I'll get our breakfast together while you are bathing."  
Bilbo gazed at him in awe. "You're too good to me, Kee."  
Kili kissed his cheek. "It is what I would want if I were faced with being parted from you," he said gently.

He closed the door fully shut behind him with a "click."

"I will tell you honestly, Bilbo: Had this happened the other way around, with Kili winning your heart first, I don't know if I would be able to be like that," Thorin said.  
Bilbo scooted over and patted the bed. "I'm the one who gets the most benefit from it and I can tell you with confidence that I couldn't, either."

Thorin shed the dressing gown and climbed in next to him, sitting up, hugging his knees to his chest.

"How did we get here, Bilbo?" he asked.  
Bilbo sighed. "I-I don't know."  
"There's a part of me, fairly large, that would still like it to be just the two of us, married, living wherever it is you want to live," Thorin confessed.  
"Don't you enjoy Kili treating you like a lover? Or treating him as such?"  
"Believe me, experiencing him is very exciting, and the two of you together are more exciting still. It is incredibly fun, but if I had the chance to have you only or continue this arrangement, I think I would choose the two of us alone."  
"Do you regret it, then?" Bilbo asked.  
Thorin turned to embrace him. "The only thing I regret is the pain I brought you. Don't misunderstand me--I am thankful for this, thankful to be your husband, thankful to get a second chance, and thankful to share these wicked, wicked pleasures in your bed with you and Kili. Being in love with you and being loved is no unmanageable hardship, regardless of the form it takes. I just never imagined it would be quite like this."  
"I know you didn't. Neither did I."  
Thorin brushed his lips across Bilbo's. "Do you have regrets?"  
"Same as yours. I wish I could undo the hurt I've done, and I'm a bit worried this arrangement is going to cause a little more before I'm done," Bilbo said.  
"I honestly think it will save more hurts than it causes."  
Bilbo answered, "I would not have expected you to say that, especially after what you just confessed."  
"Simply because it isn't my personal best outcome doesn't mean it isn't worthwhile for the others."  
Smiling, Bilbo said, "That sounds so, so...diplomatic!"  
"Seems like I'm learning a thing or two from Fili. Maybe I ought to be king somewhere," Thorin teased.  
"Maybe, but not yet. You're still mine a short while longer."

Bilbo pulled Thorin on top of him, hissing when his piercings were jarred. Undeterred, he pulled Thorin down by the nape of his neck, opening his lips with his own.

"I want to make love but my bum is aching after last night," Bilbo lamented.  
"That suits me, because I want to feel you within me one final time before I go," Thorin replied seductively. "Take me, have me, give me something to remember this winter."

*****

Fili left Bofur sleeping in bed, drawn down the hall by the sound of someone in the house. He found Kili in the kitchen, mixing up some batter.

"Kee, what are you doing up?" Fili asked.  
"Letting Thorin and Bee have their last bit of time alone."  
Fee hummed casually, but his words had bite. "Not joining them this time, are you?"  
Kili set down his bowl. "What has gotten up your arse, Fee?"  
Crossing his arms, Fili shot back pointedly, "I could ask you the same thing."

Fili watched Kili blush a very particular blush. He had seen it before, when Kili would escalate his courting with Bilbo. In the past, Fili would poke and tease until Kili giggled or whispered his confession of whatever he and Bilbo had gotten up to together. Today, Fili did not feel as playful. He put his hands on either side of the counter, crowding Kili in.

With dangerous calm, Fili asked, "What did he do to you?"  
Kili looked at Fili, deciding how much to tell and how much to save.  
Fili leaned in further. "I heard you scream his name, and I heard him call yours."  
Kili could feel Fili's breath on his lips. "It wasn't what you think."  
"And what do I think?"  
"That we fucked each other."  
Fili rubbed his hips against Kili's. "But something happened."  
"Yes."

Fili's mouth was nearly on his now, the two of them sharing the same air as Fili searched Kili's eyes for clues. Kili tried to look defiant.

Said Fili, "We will have this discussion again later, in bed. You know I will be able to see it in both your and Bilbo's faces if you try to deceive me."  
"Why would I lie if I'm looking forward to the consequences of my actions?" Kili asked.

Fili smirked. That little brat was baiting him--probably had been doing it last night, too. _"Well played, Kee,"_ Fili thought. _"But we'll see who triumphs over the next round."_

Licking the seam of Kili's lips and then backing completely away, Fili said, "Let us know when breakfast is ready."

Fili strutted down the hall, leaving Kili standing in the kitchen with a pounding pulse and an aching erection.

*****

Bilbo was on top of Thorin, chest to chest, sliding in and out of him in slow, adoring strokes. Thorin murmured words of love as they moved together.

"No whore talk today?" Bilbo teased.  
Thorin reached up, threading his hand into Bilbo's hair. "No, that's when I'm sharing you, and even then only when you are feeling up to your fantasy. Like this, the two of us alone, you are ever my cherished consort."

Bilbo pitched forward to kiss Thorin, lips moving down his jaw to his neck, over his collarbones, and across his chest. Bilbo rested his forehead on Thorin's shoulder, lost in the sensations and sounds of this love they were expressing. A moment or an eternity later, Bilbo pushed up on his arms to gaze upon Thorin's face, hoping to commit it to a memory to keep in the coming months.

Bilbo didn't realize he was weeping until he opened his eyes and saw Thorin blurred beneath him. One of his tears splashed on Thorin's face. Blinking the rest of them away to clarify his vision, he saw his tears weren't the only ones dampening his lover's cheeks. Bilbo stretched, straining to lick at Thorin's own teardrops. Thorin captured his face and kissed the salt from his tongue.

"Our first night, that night in Lake Town," Thorin panted, "I meant every word, every breath, every sigh--I meant all of it and I mean it still."  
Bilbo said, "I never meant to make you feel unloved or unwanted. What is between us is so powerful, I've never been able to fully let you go. I promise I'll never try to let you go again." 

Thorin opened his mouth, feeling a sob crawling up his throat in place of the words he intended to speak. Instead, he seized one of Bilbo's hands, kissing the palm and holding it to his cheek. When he released it, Bilbo trailed it down his chest, resting over his heart where Thorin had requested Bilbo to ink his name. Bilbo traced his fingers over it lovingly. 

Bilbo softly breathed, "I rather like seeing my name there."  
"Your name was there long before that ink was made and it will remain long after it washes off," Thorin said. 

They made love so long, Bilbo had to add more slick to continue going. He would have liked to have gone all morning, but even with the best of intentions, Thorin's poor bum was going to give out sooner than later. Pushing back on Thorin's thighs, Bilbo leaned against him, kicking his legs out behind him and using his toes to push off from the bed. Thorin growled, thrashed, and begged, quickly growing frantic to come. Managing to free a hand, Bilbo stroked Thorin until his arse grew hot and his whines pitched high. With a choke and a shout, Thorin spurted ribbons of seed across his stomach. Bilbo kept his eyes open for the duration, watching Thorin's rapture shake him thoroughly. The new wave of arousal hastened Bilbo's own orgasm. Bilbo came hard, gulping air and jerking against Thorin's body. He fell forward on Thorin, not caring about the mess between them, easing out and crawling up for a heated kiss.

*****

Fili woke Bofur up by straddling his chest. Bofur looked around to see Fili wearing a tunic but no pants. There was a pronounced tenting of the lower part of Fili's garment.

Fili demanded, "Suck me off."  
"G'morning to you, too," Bofur grinned.  
"Suck me off."  
Bofur lifted Fili's tunic. "So, is this breakfast?"  
Fili made a noise of frustration, gathering his tunic up around his chest.  
"Suck. Me. Off."

Bofur cupped Fili's bottom, urging him to a better position. Fili hadn't seemed to want much preamble, so Bofur didn't bother teasing. He sucked him in to the back of his throat, using his hand as a catch to keep from gagging. He tightened his suction, his cheeks hollowing out with every stroke. As Bofur had anticipated, Fili started doing most of the work for him, fucking his face until he was grunting and coming down Bofur's throat. Fili retreated so Bofur could breathe well again.

Remarked Bofur, "That shot so deep I didn't even get a chance to taste it. Wait, what are you doing now?"

Fili had crawled face first down the sheet, preparing to give Bofur his own back.

"If I have to explain it, I must not be doing it right," Fili sassed, closing his mouth around Bofur's cock.  
" _Oh!_ Oh, gods! No, no, you're doing it very right," Bofur moaned.

*****

As requested, Bilbo told Kili they were going to bathe so he would know to start breakfast. Bilbo offered to help, but Kili wouldn't hear of it. When he and Thorin reached the bath, they found towels and a brush set out especially for them.

Bathing each other, Bilbo noticed the ink wasn't washing off Thorin. It simply faded from black to dark blue. He had Thorin try washing it off his bottom, but even with a flannel, it only slightly faded.

"That is interesting," Thorin noted. "I'm afraid you're going to be Property Of The House Of Durin until it wears off. I can't say I terribly mind, though I won't benefit much from it past this bath."  
"What about you? You've got my name above your arse, on your hip, and on your chest. At least it is winter and you won't be doing any public creek bathing."  
Thorin kissed him. "I don't mind people knowing I'm yours, though I would like to keep it from Dís until we get back and she gets settled. It is going to be quite an issue for her to comprehend, I think."  
Bilbo shrugged. "She might surprise you."  
Thorin and Bilbo looked at each other for a long moment before agreeing in unison, "No, she won't."

*****

  
Breakfast wasn't ready and they had not yet seen Fili or Bofur, so Bilbo and Thorin sat in the parlor together. Thorin's eye kept straying to the mantle where the cups and swords were displayed with care.

"Other than the things at the door and their room, why are there none of Fili's or Bofur's mementos displayed?" Thorin asked.  
Bilbo said, "I encouraged it, I did, but Fee had this idea about the place being Kee's more than theirs. I still wish they would, honestly, but now they have that house-"  
"They have a house?" Thorin asked.  
"I suppose since you know Fee is betrothed, it isn't a horrible secret to tell you he bought a smial, too. Well, he and Bo both did. You'll have to have them tell you the story sometime. It isn't ready for habitation, yet, but I'll be honest, I don't want them moving out. I want them to move _in_ , to decorate a little here and there, to put a weapon up over the fireplace, you know?"  
"Do you--that is to say, would you feel that way about me, too?" Thorin asked quietly.  
"Of course. I do, as a matter of fact."  
Thorin nodded solemnly. "I'll be back in a moment."

Thorin returned, kneeling at Bilbo's feet with an ornate but deadly dagger. It had markings of the line of Durin on the hilt.

"Balin pulled this from the hoard. We believe it might have belonged to my grandfather in his youth. I've been carrying it outside Erebor, secreted on my person in case I lost my weapons due to capture or ambush. I have several such weapons, as the world is not fully safe. I would be honored if you would hang it above your fireplace next to your husband's weapon."  
Bilbo blinked at tears. "Of course. It-it is your house, too."  
"I leave this with one condition: that you take it from the mantle--just as you would your Sting--when you go wandering to dangerous places. I especially want you to carry it to Erebor, not to return it to me, but so I can protect you even when I'm not your traveling companion. Do you promise?"

Bilbo hugged Thorin tightly, looking past him at the cups and weapons, and thinking of the other reminders of the journey he held dear as well. Bilbo thought, perhaps, if the journey had not ended so well, if his life hadn't become so full, he might have hidden everything away in his mother's glory box--painful, beautiful reminders of those dangerous, breathtaking months when he had felt wholly alive and very, very loved. Remembering what Elrond told him of his vision, Bilbo felt a chill go through him. How close had they come to not having this beautiful life at all?

"I promise, Thorin," Bilbo said.

*****

After breakfast, Thorin and Fili went to the study. Kili was in the foyer, sorting the food that was to be loaded on the wagons and ponies in order of what went with whom. Bilbo stayed behind in the dining room, clearing the table with Bofur. Bilbo tried to read Bofur's expression throughout breakfast, but today he was giving nothing away.

"Look, I'm sure you heard some things last night," Bilbo finally said. "I--we--were not particularly considerate of other people in the house, especially you."  
Bofur put his plates on the counter and gently grasped Bilbo's shoulders. "Bee, I don't want you to worry about me this morning of all mornings. Not that you would particularly, not with Thorin leaving, but in case you thought to, I'm telling you don't."  
"I feel like I need to explain," Bilbo said.  
Bofur kissed him chastely on the lips. "And I'm telling you that you don't have to."  
Bilbo smiled. "Thank you, Bo."  
"It is no small thing to be entrusted with the heart of the kingdom," Bofur murmured.  
"What's that?"  
Bofur replied, "Thorin said that to me back in Erebor when we talked about me courting Fee. Those were his words of wisdom...or caution, depending on how you look at it."

Bilbo bit his lip, stirred by the sentiment.

*****

The very moment the last of the breakfast dishes were cleared, Fili and Thorin returned from the study.

The five of them gathered around the dining room table at Bag End with a document drafted by Thorin and Fili. Thorin anxiously chewed his thumb, studying Bilbo's face carefully while he read it. Bilbo handed it off to Kili for his approval next. When Kili finished, he slid it across the table to Thorin.

"Well?" Thorin glanced between Bilbo and Kili. "Is it acceptable?"  
Smiling shyly, Bilbo said, "It is wonderful."  
"Kili? Are you satisfied?" asked Thorin.  
"Very much so," came his answer.  
Thorin exhaled swiftly. "Then let it be done, signed, and witnessed."

Thorin signed first, followed by Bilbo, Kili, Fili, and Bofur. Thorin took the document back, waving it gently in the air for the ink to dry. Something caught his eye.

"Bofur, you did not sign it with your title," Thorin said.  
Bofur cleared his throat. "Well, I, uh...I don't quite have one yet."  
Thorin replied kindly, "Are you so sure about that?"  
Bofur looked at Fili questioningly, receiving a warm smile in return.  
Pushing the document toward Bofur, Thorin said, "Come now, this is official business and it will need a proper signature."

With a bashful, grateful smile, Bofur added below his name--

_Prince of Erebor_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're almost at the end of the main, day-to-day detailed story! There WILL be a part after this, sort of a "How We Spent Our Winter Vacation," with letters, some surprise announcements, a little more story on secondary pairings, and lots of smuts. The plan now is to take that story up through the Summer (Summer in-universe, not summer 2015). Please subscribe to the series if you want to keep up with these folks in this 'verse. 
> 
> <3


	62. Until We Meet Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The friends say farewell as the caravan prepares to leave for Erebor. It only takes 6100 words to say goodbye.

Many, many hobbits arrived outside Bag End, word having gotten around that it was the predetermined meeting point for the travelers, ponies, and wagons. Out of politeness, they stayed away from the house and its gardens, mostly gathering on the part of the road that did not go over the hill. Many of them were laden with packets and baskets: gifts of food, scarves, or other comforts for soon-to-be road weary travelers.

*****

When the noise outside grew from politely murmuring hobbits to gruffer voices and the whinny of ponies, Thorin and Bilbo knew it was time.

"I'm going to take this food out to the wagons," Fili said. He elbowed Bofur. "Bo, do you want to help me?"  
Clearing his throat, Bofur said, "Aye, quite right. I'll take this pile." 

Thorin closed the door behind them and turned to Bilbo and Kili. 

"Best to bestow our more intimate farewells here, don't you think?"  
"Yes," answered Kili. "I don't think Mam would like to hear some of these parting words."  
Thorin rested his forehead against Kili's. "I'm still not wholly sure how we went from rivals to lovers, but I've enjoyed the latter much more than the former."  
Kili grinned. "Mam certainly wouldn't have liked to have heard that."  
Thorin smiled back at him. Sincerely, he continued, "Thank you for having a more generous heart than my own. Bilbo and I are married, against all odds or reason, and it is partly because of you. I don't know _how_ you do it, but I will always be grateful that you do."  
Kili replied, "He needs both of us. I didn't see it for a long time and took his love for you as a strike against me, but I finally realized it didn't have to be so. His joy brings me comfort, and I have to say that I've had quite a filthy good time in the process."  
Thorin huffed a laugh. "'Filthy good time' is a fine way to put it."  
"One last inappropriate kiss for the road, then?" Kili asked playfully.  
Thorin shot Bilbo a look with his eyebrows raised. "Does he ever shut off?"  
Bilbo shook his head fondly. "No. Aren't I the lucky one?"

Thorin tugged Kili into a lover's kiss. Afterwards, he requested, "To buy my last private moments with Bilbo, may we say the rest of our more proper goodbyes outside?"  
Kili nodded solemnly. "I'll distract the others a little longer."

When Kili left them, Thorin put his arms around Bilbo and gazed into his eyes. 

"I suppose going back to bed is out of the question?" Thorin asked.  
Bilbo sputtered a laugh, leaning his head against Thorin's chest. "Perhaps a little."

Thorin held him close for several moments. 

"I don't have it in me to bid you farewell twice today," Bilbo said, voice breaking.  
Forlorn, he looked toward the window where shapes and shadows were milling more heavily by the moment.  
"Then kiss me," Thorin murmured. "Kiss me as though we had all the time in the world and we'll save our words of devotion for the last."

Bilbo closed his eyes, pushing up on tiptoe to meet Thorin. His lips parted and Thorin's tongue flicked past them, gently at first, but growing more fierce with each passing moment. All too soon, the storm seemed to pass and their embrace grew gentle once again. Bilbo's mind had one repeating thought: _"Don't go."_

When they parted, Bilbo tried halfheartedly to find humor. "Better we did that in here than out there. Imagine the talk!"  
"Not the least of which coming from my own caravan." Thorin bit his lip, glancing down and back up at Bilbo. "Ready?"  
Bilbo lips curled up in a semblance of a smile, though his expression was anything but joyous. "No."  
Thorin raised Bilbo's hand to his mouth, kissing his knuckles. "Me, either."

With a large exhale, Thorin opened the door to Bag End and they stepped out into the cool morning. 

*****

With Thorin outside at last, the hobbits bearing gifts of food and comfort began stepping forward, handing off their tokens to Fili and Dís at Thorin's request. Fili and Dís expressed Erebor's gratitude to each individual hobbit before handing the gifts off to Dwalin and Beorn, who were loading the wagons.

Thorin gave his formal, diplomatic goodbyes, thanking the citizenry and Isumbras for their hospitality and sharing a few kind, special words publicly for Holman and Hamfast, too. He waited patiently as the others in the traveling party lined up to say their own goodbyes to those staying behind, taking his place at the very back of the queue. He made sure Dís was ahead of him by at least two bodies to avoid potential eavesdropping, anticipating speaking adoring words to his Bilbo at the end of the line.

*****

Beorn's wagon was his own that Bilbo and the dwarrows had borrowed that Spring and he had glowing words for the stable-master who boarded his treasured ponies. He wished Ori love and happiness in the Shire, keeping it to himself that he anticipated a wedding for him before a year passed. Beorn individually hugged Bofur, Fili, and Kili, but addressed them as a group.

"I am saddened for a Winter without you, though you have made my Autumn most merry! If you should head East again, I expect a visit."  
"You will get one," Bofur promised. "The Shire will be more somber without you and that is a fact."  
"Ah, but it will be quieter at night," Beorn joked.  
Fili quipped, "And more ale barrels will stay full!"  
Beorn laughed, his eyes falling on Kili. He bent down to eye level. "Don't forget to properly winter your gift, as they'll be seedlings in the spring and ready for planting when the freezes have ceased."  
Kili beamed. "We have plans for them!"  
Ruffling Kili's hair, Beorn replied, "Good." 

*****

Beorn moved on to Bilbo. "Oh, Bunny! I'm humbled by your hospitality and, I must say, you've spoken rightly of the beauty and plenty of your lands. I should like to return some time again, I think."  
Bilbo bowed. "I have much to repay. I can only hope you enjoyed your time here the way we enjoyed our weeks with you. We would be happy to have you return whenever you wish."

Beorn plucked Bilbo off the ground for his hug, receiving a kiss on the cheek for good measure. 

He whispered in Bilbo's ear, "Have fun with your dwarrows."  
Bilbo drew back, seeing Beorn wink with a saucy twinkle in his eyes.  
"Beorn!" he whispered back, feigning shock.  
"I can scent it from a mile," Beorn reminded him, setting him down.  
Bilbo said, "I shall miss you terribly."  
"Only until you see me again, then you shan't have to miss me anymore," Beorn said brightly.  
Bilbo felt the tears heat his eyes, but he gave Beorn his biggest smile. 

*****

The elves went through the line next, thanking Bilbo and Kili in particular for the invitation. They insisted on a visit to Rivendell at their earliest opportunity.

"On the way to Erebor, perhaps?" Nerithel said knowingly.  
Bilbo smiled. "Possibly in the Spring."  
"Be ready for an exhibition with the Captain of the Guard," Nîfon said to Kili. "He spent half the summer bragging about your skill with a bow to anyone who missed it, and to several who didn't!"  
Kili's smile was bashful; Bilbo and Fili each beamed with pride. 

*****

Dori bade Ori to hold out his hands. Producing his money pouch, he fished out some coins for himself and dumped the rest into Ori's hand.

"That's for you. We're going back to where our money is, but you hadn't packed with the intent to live here," Dori said. 

Nori stood next to them, nodding in approval of Dori's gesture but otherwise not moving. With the back of his hand, Dori smacked Nori in the shoulder. Sighing, Nori dug into his pocket and pulled out a pouch, emptying all but a small amount of its contents for Ori.

"I doubt I should need this much!" Ori argued.  
Dori shook his head. "I don't know how much it costs to live in a Shire, or to court two hobbits. I would feel better for you to keep it...at least, until you can visit Erebor with Thodora and Chadham to pack up more."

Dori's concern, his brothers' generosity, and--most of all--the implied acceptance and invitation moved Ori past his limit. Crying, he threw an arm around each of his brothers, thanking them and promising to write.

*****

Óin nearly had Dori's trouble leaving Ori behind, telling him to be a good lad and to write home if he had any problems. Dori looked on affectionately.

Leaving Bofur and Fili with best wishes, he paused in front of Bilbo and Kili. 

"Well, lads, you did it. It gives an old dwarf a little faith in love again, it does," Óin said. "Puts a bit of a bounce in my step to see young'uns so happy."  
Bilbo beckoned him closer with a finger. He cut his eyes quickly toward Dori and back again. "Could that also be the cause of your bounce?"  
Sucking in his cheek, Óin slyly replied, "Perhaps."  
Bilbo clapped Óin's shoulder, grinning. "Good for you!"  
Óin joked, "If you've got it, flaunt it, I say."  
Dori turned around, interjecting, "And he's got it!"

Bilbo didn't realize Dori was listening and covered his mouth, giggling at having been caught. He looked to Óin to see if he was embarrassed, but Óin merely preened. 

*****

To Bofur, Dís said, "I expect a betrothal announcement sooner than later."  
"Mam!" Fili exclaimed, having overheard.  
"And you will be getting married in Erebor, _properly_ ," she said, cutting her eyes toward an oblivious Kili, who was still talking to Óin.  
"Mahal knows, Balin will have a fit if you don't," Dwalin interjected.  
"Back off, you two," Bofur said to Fili and Dwalin. "You're interrupting my hug with the future Mam-in-law."

Dís giggled girlishly as Bofur made a show of hugging her, lifting her off the ground and making her squeal with glee. Fili shook his head--Bofur was dangerous with that much charm.

"Don't worry about us," Bofur assured her. "There's a right time for everything."  
"Fili, don't let him get away from you," Dís said. "If I had a tadger, I might chase him myself."  
Fili and Dwalin both shouted in shocked unison--  
"Mam!-"  
"Dís!-"

Dís mischievously smiled at both of them, throwing a blushing Bofur a wink. Growing more serious, she hugged Fili tightly. 

"Take care of yourself and your brother. Keep each other out of trouble, if you can manage it," she said.  
"Oh Mam," Fili said. "You know us."  
"Yes, I do, and that's what I'm talking about." She gave him a mother's kiss. "My beautiful Prince. Don't leave your kingdom too long without a visit, and that goes double for your mother."  
"I won't," Fili promised. "I love you."  
"I love you, too," Dís said, giving in to her tears.  
"Go now, Mam, and have yourself an adventure. You're long overdue."  
Dís seized him in another tight hug. 

*****

"How is it that my youngest is married?" Dís asked Kili.  
"You weren't much older than me when you married Da," he replied.  
Dís sighed. "Things seemed simpler back then. I suppose it always seems that way for the older generations, right?"  
Kili shrugged. "Maybe it _was_ simpler back then, in its own way."  
"True. Erebor was a dream when you were a baby, not even a full-fledged plan yet for Thorin. Now we've got a mountain, elf allies, hobbit husbands, and all sorts of innovations. I could complain, or I can accept that change is inevitable."  
Kili kissed her cheek. "The very world is changing. Erebor can loom ominously, jealously guarding the past, or it can be our gateway to a brighter future."  
Dís shook her head in awe. "When did you grow up so much? You sound like one of the great orators of old."  
"Mam," Kili protested, embarrassed.  
"I'm so very proud of you, Kili," she said, nudging their foreheads together. "I love you."  
"Love you more," Kili replied, grinning.  
Dís kissed him. "Brat."  
Kili stuck his tongue out at her playfully.

*****

Dís stood in front of Bilbo with her arms folded. "Bilbo Baggins."  
Bilbo bowed deeply. "Princess Dís."  
She sighed heavily. "Oh, just come here."  
She tugged him forward, hugging him. "You take good care of my sons and Bofur, and don't make them stay in the Shire too long. It will be up to you to prod them towards Erebor now and again."  
Bilbo smiled into her shoulder. "I somehow do not foresee that being a problem."  
She released him and peered into his eyes. "Maybe Kili didn't make such an awful decision for himself, after all."  
Bilbo's tone was serious, though his eyes were mirthful. "One can only hope."

Dís stared a moment before giggling, Bilbo following her in a full laugh. 

*****

Dwalin regarded Kili and Bilbo stoically, waiting for Dís to walk beyond hearing. When she did, he spoke quietly to both of them.

"She won't hear what you've been up to from me, but that doesn't mean I approve," Dwalin said.  
Bilbo wriggled his nose nervously. "Understood."  
Dwalin fixed a serious stare on Kili. "You were raised better than this. It is shameful, what you are doing with your uncle."  
"Your opinion is noted, Dwalin," Kili replied icily.  
"I love your mother, Kili. Aside from it not being my place, I would never tell her something so heartbreaking--and it would, you know. Break her heart."

Bilbo saw Kili set his jaw and sought a truce before secrets were suddenly, loudly spilled. 

He said, "Now is not the time for reconsidering these things, and they are private matters besides. Dwalin, we thank you for your discretion. We have left any announcements to Thorin, should he feel they be made."  
"Or until he comes to his senses," Dwalin grumbled.  
Bilbo shot him a stern look and Dwalin sighed.  
"Kili, it is my hope to possibly marry your mother one day, and that puts us in an awkward position," Dwalin said.  
Kili drew a large breath through his nose. "I will make the effort if you do," he exhaled.  
Dwalin nodded curtly. "Agreed."  
"Well, we've got that out of the way, now," Bilbo said, forcing cheer.  
"I promise to take care of her," Dwalin said.  
"Please do, thank you," Kili replied. 

Dwalin left them abruptly, taking Dís's hand and leading her toward the main wagon. 

Bilbo sighed exasperatedly.  
"That seemed to go well," Kili remarked.

With a bemused smile, Bilbo furrowed his brow and shook his head. 

*****

Gandalf bid farwell to Ori and his hobbits, assuring them he would be back around now and again. Ori gave him a giant hug around his waist; Gandalf patted at his shoulder fondly.

"I knew you would like the Shire, my dear Ori." He glanced at Thodora and Chadham. "Little did I realize how much."

Ori smiled, blushing. 

*****

Bofur was next in Gandalf's line and he bowed to the wizard deeply. "We've been honored repeatedly with your presence, not the least of which in the time of our greatest need. What you did for Bee--I mean, for Bilbo-"  
Gandalf held up a hand, bending to speak closer to Bofur's height. "I merely helped you along. It was not me who pulled him from the water. That was _you_ , Bofur. I told you once and I maintain it still--the four of you are special when you are together. As I am Guardian of this world, I have come to believe that you are Guardians of each other."  
Bofur looked up into Gandalf's eyes solemnly. "I-I think I believe that now, too."  
Gandalf quirked a small smile. "Good. Hold to it."

Bofur couldn't resist a hug around Gandalf's waist, much like Ori's. Suddenly remembering himself, he pulled back and bowed low.

"Tharkûn," he said reverently.  
"Be well, my dear Bofur," Gandalf said, laying his palm gently on Bofur's head. 

*****

"Fili, Crown Prince of Erebor," Gandalf said ceremoniously.  
Fili nodded deeply. "We certainly hate to lose our wizard...and our friend."  
"And I hate to leave my friends, but a wizard's work is never done. I think you will be fine, Fili. You're becoming a fine leader," Gandalf bent down to speak more privately. "You've even taught Thorin a thing or two, which twelve months ago I thought would have been an easier task to perform on a boulder."  
Fili laughed.  
"Whatever moved you to take this sabbatical was well worth it. You'll learn more how to lead a people when you experience the world around you. Keep your eyes and heart open, Fili, and it will serve you very well, indeed," Gandalf said.  
"Thank you, Gandalf. I am incredibly honored to hear you speak thus," Fili replied humbly.  
"Take care of each other and fear not--I will return as often as I can be spared."

Like the others before him, Fili seized Gandalf with a hug which the wizard happily accepted. 

*****

Gandalf addressed Kili next. "And now I come to Kili Baggins of Bagshot Row."  
Kili bowed with a flourish of his hand. "At your service."  
"You have been, truly. Anyone who makes the son of Belladonna smile so brightly has done me service, indeed."  
Kili pleadingly looked up at Gandalf with large, chocolate eyes. "Do you truly have to go?"  
Gandalf rested a hand on Kili's shoulder. "I'm afraid so, but you've got a new, exciting life to build. Honestly, I envy you. Not all stories like yours have such a happy ending."  
Gandalf stared at Kili for a moment, and Kili would have sworn Gandalf was seeing someone else.  
"Gandalf..."  
Coming back to himself, Gandalf said, "Just memories of another time, very, very long ago. Enjoy these days, Kili, and keep your quartet together. I'm starting to believe you are blessed."  
Kili opened his mouth, wanting to tell Gandalf their stories, but rapidly realized this was not at all the right time. Instead, he said, "I think that, too."

Gandalf looked at him curiously, but smiled and said nothing. Anticipating the inevitable hug, Gandalf opened his arms. Kili did not disappoint. Patting Kili's head, Gandalf wished him a safe winter and moved down the line.

*****

Bilbo squinted an eye and looked up at him. "Gandalf."  
"My friend," Gandalf said. "Some adventure you had."  
Bilbo chuckled, looking up at the sky before glancing back at Gandalf. "That's an understatement, I think."  
"I'm happy for you, and much more at peace leaving you surrounded by love than I was leaving you surrounded by books."  
"Well, I still have the books," Bilbo deadpanned.  
Gandalf grinned, "Indeed."  
"Look, Gandalf," Bilbo said, "Thank you for returning to the Shire for the wedding. Having you here, having you be a part of it, it was an honor and an experience Kili and I will never, ever forget."  
"The honor was mine, Bilbo. Believe that always."  
Bilbo nodded decisively, chewing the inside of his bottom lip before continuing. "Thank you twice over for returning to caravan back East with our loved ones. I will feel much better about the journey knowing you are with them--and they with you, too."  
"It is only as far as Rivendell, but I'm glad for it, too."  
"Even from here to Rivendell can be fraught. What is it that you told us? 'The wild is still the wild?'"  
Laughed Gandalf, "That is true. You're going to be just fine, Bilbo Baggins."

For Bilbo alone, Gandalf crouched to the ground and held his arms open, one still clutching his staff. Bilbo was in them in an instant. 

"Oh, I shall miss you," Bilbo said.  
"I'll miss you, too, but we will meet again," Gandalf edged back to look into Bilbo's face. "That other matter we spoke of? Is it secret?"  
Bilbo took an uneasy breath and nodded. "Wrapped in my mithril shirt, tucked away into Mother's glory box."  
"Good, good." Gandalf paused, considering his next words. "That shirt, remember what the elves said about mithril?"  
Bilbo nodded. "That it was incredibly rare these days."  
Gandalf's eyes glinted slyly. Leaning in to whisper, he said to Bilbo, "You could buy the whole of the Shire with that single garment, possibly twice over."

He stood, satisfied with the stunned look on Bilbo's face and the hobbit's mouth moving without forming words. 

"Take care, Bilbo! Until we meet again," Gandalf said, bowing shallowly.  
Bilbo gulped air and quickly half-bowed back. "Yes, that, um, what you said...that. Take care!"

Gandalf walked away, laughing to himself. 

*****

Rorimac ran up to the line, standing next to Bofur just in time for Bifur's turn.

"I guess my creative interpretation of your conditions can't get around this, huh?" Rorimac said nervously. "Soon you won't be in the Shire at all!"  
Bifur smiled wistfully, shaking his head.  
"I wish...that is, I would have liked a real try of it with you," Rorimac said. "I just want you to know that."

Rorimac's bottom lip trembled. Gently, Bifur pressed a finger to it. Dropping his hand, he nodded solemnly.

"Will you, will you write to me?" Rorimac's voice wavered. "Please. I will write you, too, unless you don't want me to, in which case I won't and-" 

Bifur's finger returned to Rorimac's lips to shush him, followed by a gentle kiss. He dug through his pockets, pulling out a folded letter. Taking one of Rorimac's hands, Bifur pressed the letter into it and covered Rorimac's hand with both of his. Bifur squeezed as he gazed into his eyes and nodded firmly. Stepping away, he held a hand up in farewell. Rorimac waved back, returning to his spot in the front of the hobbit crowd when Bifur walked on.

*****

"So what was that all about, ol' son?" Bofur asked Bifur, nodding back toward Rorimac.  
" _Shut up_ ," Bifur countered, having a difficult time hiding a bashful smile.  
"I can't pretend to know what is going on there, but I hope you let yourself have a chance at happiness. There are far worse fates than falling in love with a hobbit."  
" _Speaking from experience, are you?_ "  
"Don't I always?" Bofur said.  
" _There you go again. I'll be happy to get a damned break from your cocky attitude,_ " Bifur joked.  
Bofur laughed, his smile slowly fading as the sadness started to set in. "Give my love to Bom and the family."

Bofur pressed his cheek to his cousin's, Bifur's axe making forehead nudges challenging at best. 

" _Of course_."  
"I'm going to miss you, you miserable old sod," Bofur said, giving in to a full hug. "Having you here with me has been a blessing from The Maker and I've been so thankful."  
Bifur's eyes grew misty. " _Me too, Cousin. Don't you and your Fee wait too long to come see us in Erebor, okay?_ "  
"We won't."

*****

After wishing Ori and his hobbits well--and issuing an official invitation to Erebor as soon as they could manage the journey--Thorin walked to Bofur. They spoke quietly enough that only Fili could possibly overhear.

"This has gotten a bit more awkward since the last time we all did this, and that's saying something," Bofur quipped.  
Thorin chuckled. "You've got a point, there."  
"So..." Bofur said, flapping his arms once against his side.  
Thorin confessed, "I'm not going to pretend I won't be jealous you get to spend this winter with three of the people dearest to me, not to mention in whose bed you will spend the majority of it."  
"And I won't pretend I'm not jealous that he'll spend at least half the winter wishing you were there, too--if not instead."  
"Fair enough," Thorin conceded.  
"I-I don't know what else to say, really."  
"Say you'll keep them all safe, warm, and happy until Spring comes and I may be with them again," Thorin answered.  
Bofur nodded solemnly. "Aye, I can do that."  
Thorin added, "I do not know if I ever thanked you properly for that, _that day_ , and Mahal knows you did not do it for me, but nevertheless, I would like to say thank you, Bofur. Thank you for saving Bilbo's life. I will be indebted to you for it, always."  
Bofur had not expected this, and found himself with a sudden lump in his throat. Swallowing around it, he replied, "No debt. None at all."  
"One last thing," Thorin said.

He leaned in to speak into Bofur's ear.

*****

Fili watched Thorin and Bofur speak their farewells, only able to hear snatches of their conversation. It warmed his heart to see them smile, however awkwardly. Thorin said something that moved Bofur quite clearly before speaking more private words to him. Fili watched Bofur's expression change to one of incredulity. When he was finished, Thorin looked at Bofur searchingly. Bofur managed a stunned nod. Thorin reached out his right arm and Bofur returned the gesture, each of them clasping the other's elbow. They held the embrace for a few short moments before Thorin nodded deeply in parting and moved down the line to Fili.

*****

"You know I used to think you were being ridiculous, wanting to follow Kili to the Shire," Thorin said. "Now I understand, only too well. Your youth and a sitting king gives you excuses and opportunities I did not have, and I am envious. Had I known it would be this lovely, perhaps Bilbo and I would have fled Lake Town when we had the chance."  
"No, you wouldn't have," Fili said, grinning.  
Smiling back, Thorin shrugged. "Who knows what decisions I would have made if things had been but a slice different this way or that? No sense in beating myself up over it now."  
"You've spent the last several months doing it, anyway."  
Thorin hummed a laugh. "Right you are. You and your brother seem to fit here, though. Having lived it, I cannot continue to begrudge you it."  
"Kee and I would fit anywhere, I think, as long as we were together, but I agree. I had hoped I would like it here and I do," Fili said.  
Thorin dropped his volume so Fili alone could hear him. "If you want to marry your Bo, then marry him. Marry him here, take him home to Erebor to marry him, or perhaps do both. Whatever you decide to do, I want you to understand this: Your destiny is your own, Fili. It is not your mother's, Balin's, Erebor's, the council's, nor even mine. You can take a husband and still leave Erebor again. You can leave Erebor as much as you want until you are king, if you even decide you want to be king at all. If you do, it will be a whole other adventure of its own, I promise you. Do not let fear of the future, your title, or your blood rob you of your happiness or your love in the meantime, especially when it is possible to have both--and particularly while myself and your Mam are still around."  
Fili exhaled. "I understand, and I will take your words to heart."  
Thorin leaned his forehead to Fili's. "You've taught me many lessons since I've been in the Shire and I believe they will make me a better king for our people. I am so, so proud of you, the wisdom you already possess at your age, the friends you've made, the bridges you've mended...I love you to my bones, Fili."  
Fili reached up to rest his hand on Thorin's face. "I love you, too."

*****

Thorin stood in front of Kili next. As he had rightly guessed, Dís was at least out of earshot by now. He was glad for it.

"I'm glad you made this journey," Kili said. "Aside from the obvious, even from the first night you dined with us at Bag End, I was happy and thankful you were here. Do not think because I'm not the direct heir that I don't have some idea of what it took for you to be able to leave a newly reborn kingdom for weeks of travel. From the moment we sent the invitation, I had hoped you would visit for the wedding, and even if you might have originally thought to stop it, having you in the Shire has meant the world to us...and to me."  
"Oh Kili," Thorin sighed. Cradling Kili's cheeks in his hands, he said, "Did you know I never thought you would marry?"  
Frowning, Kili said, "No, I didn't."  
"Not because you wouldn't be able to find a mate, or because you were not bright, or because you were not lovely. I never thought you would marry because I never thought you would find someone good enough, deserving enough to call you husband. Bilbo is the only one I've ever deemed good enough for you, and what a pity he was also my Chosen. When it comes down to it, I couldn't explain exactly why I came to the Shire, but there is no denying you got the husband you deserved."  
"So did you," Kili whispered.  
Thorin smiled. "Yes, I did."  
"We are going to miss you."  
"I am going to miss you, too, deeply, desperately. I feel as though Spring cannot arrive quickly enough and I haven't even left yet!"  
Kili laughed. "I know what you mean."  
"Take care of yourselves and each other, promise me?"  
"I promise," Kili said.

Still holding his face, Thorin pulled Kili's lips to his for a brief moment, perhaps a second too long to be wholly free of Dís's wrath.

"I love you," Thorin murmured.  
"I love you, too."

*****

Finally, Thorin reached Bilbo. He willed time to stop, but the crisp Autumn breezes still stirred.

Bilbo reached into his jacket and pulled out a letter for Thorin. Grinning, Thorin handed him one of his own. They each tucked away their precious missives for later. Standing close and clutching Bilbo's hands to his breast, Thorin spoke low for his husband alone. 

"What is there left to say to you that I haven't kissed into your skin or whispered against your lips?" he asked. "I can only repeat myself and tell you how much I hate leaving your side."  
Bilbo gazed up at Thorin. He confessed, "I will share a secret with you: Every time we have done this, regardless of who has done the riding away, it has left me bereft. Even when I knew, or thought I knew, it was best for us, I wept and pined. This time is both better and worse. You are leaving with my love and I hold yours dear, but I will miss you all the more now that we share vows along with our bond. What if...what if now I can't seem to let you go? What if I want you to stay?"

Tears spilled down Bilbo's face and he rolled in his lips in an attempt to control the weeping. Thorin smiled, tears escaping his eyes as well. He pulled him into a firm embrace. 

"Oh, Bilbo. If you only knew how long I've been desperate to hear those words from you. Indeed, few things you've uttered these past few weeks have made me happier, my dearest love, but I can't, not now. I have wagons, provisions, kin, and citizens all standing at the ready, winter bearing down on us all, and a kingdom I did not leave in the strongest state when I came. For you, I would be willing to ignore my title altogether, but staying would mean more meetings for those who are still going, not to mention a full reconfiguring of the journey and what comes after. To pause now would mean dangerously delaying departure when we've already taken a risk waiting this long. I must keep my word and do my duty."  
Thorin pushed back and looked into Bilbo's watery eyes. "Please tell me you understand?"  
"I do understand," Bilbo said, sniffling. "You'd think I'd be stronger than this, as much practice as I've had at it. I know I certainly thought so."  
"I'll write though--I'll write as often as I'm able and send you the finished pages at every opportunity, few though those opportunities may be. Promise me you'll do the same?"  
"I do promise, though I only know two destinations of yours. It will be more difficult," Bilbo pointed out.  
"My wait may be long, but the rewards will be great if you do as I ask. I'll hold your long, long letters until I can hold you again."  
Bilbo nodded, trying to gain control over his crying. 

Lovingly, Thorin looked at his mate, his consort, his husband, marveling at how his fortunes had so drastically changed since the day his group rode into Hobbiton. Bilbo's eyes shone with tears and his sweet lips quivered.

"I have to kiss you goodbye again," Thorin declared. "Let them talk, I don't care!"

Pulling Bilbo close, he kissed him for the ages, bothering with neither modesty nor measure. They were too consumed with each other to notice the gasps and whispers that went through the group. When the kiss faded, Thorin hugged Bilbo tightly a final time. 

"I love you, my Consort," Thorin whispered.  
"And I love you, Thorin Baggins," Bilbo replied.

Thorin huffed a laugh through his renewed tears and squeezed again before parting. 

Willing his feet to move, one in front of the other, Thorin climbed up into the lead wagon.

"Farewell, friends and loved ones," Thorin called, though his gaze was trained on Bilbo. "The days cannot pass soon enough until we meet again."

Shouts of farewell, clapping, and cheers erupted from the crowd--aside from Bilbo and his dwarrows, all of whom stood smiling sadly, holding hands up to wave goodbye. Thorin gave the signal and the caravan moved out. In order to see Bilbo over the ponies and others following behind, Thorin stood in the wagon even as it moved. 

Eyes locked on Bilbo to the last, Thorin disappeared over the hill. 

*****

Bilbo stood weeping, long after the last pony was out of sight. Bofur looked his direction, his heart going out to him. His urge was to try to give Bilbo comfort, but he left him be. Fili tapped his shoulder, motioning toward Bag End with his head. Bofur nodded and they left, silently.

Kili wept, too, resting a loving hand on Bilbo's shoulder but otherwise leaving him to his grief. He made no move to rush him for a long while. It was only when clouds covered the sun and Bilbo shivered with the chill that Kili closed his arm around him, urging him indoors. 

"C'mon, Bee. Let's go make a fire and get you some tea."  
Bilbo looked up at Kili with big, weepy eyes, nodding silently. 

With Kili cradling Bilbo in the crook of his arm and both of them sniffling, they returned to the shelter of their home. 

*****

Once Hobbiton was far out of sight, Dís hit Thorin in the shoulder. Eyes flashing like the hottest forge, she demanded, "What in Durin's bloody name was _that_?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it for "You Keep Me Without Chains," friends! Hopefully the title resonates even more now than it did in Chapter 1. 
> 
> You'll notice there are a lot of loose ends, still, and there will be another part to address them! Please subscribe to the series if you don't want to miss out on what happens with the hobbits and dwarves over the winter and onto spring! 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who came along on this journey with me. Things get a little weirder for our friends in the next part, so if it is time for you stop here, I want you to know I'm still very thankful for you.
> 
> If this brought you any joy (or orgasms--giggity), please consider leaving me a comment here. I'd love to know your favorite bits so far, too. 
> 
> If this did not bring you any joy...well, what the heck are you still reading for???? Haha! I suppose folks could have enough free time to hate-read 162 chapters, maybe. Well, if anyone _is_ hate-reading, thank you for the hits! 
> 
> Thank you, everyone, for all the recs, reblogs, comments, kudos, banners, songs, art, and more that you've contributed so far. Every last bit makes me feel amazingly special and I love you so much. If you like this series, please continue to rec it from time to time. I promise to love you forever. 
> 
> Stay tuned to this series and I'll see you very, very soon.


End file.
